Chapter 13: X-Treme Torture
"Last time on Total Drama Island... The eleven surviving campers were put through Master Lunchlady Hatchet's brutal boot camp. Denica was the first to be sent to the brig by Major Harshines for disorderly conduct. Shocker. But what was a surprise was when by-the-book Curtis smuggled food to P.O.W. Denica. The two proceeded to pull a B&E to steal some PB&J and ended up K-I-S-S-I-N-G. Hoo. LeShawn won his stripes for the Gophers and Trisha was suddenly voted off. A friendship formed between Harriet and Bert when Heath kept torturing him." Kris is lying on a beach chair eating some marshmallows while Billy the Intern is fanning her. "Uh, hello? He's a bully. That's what they do. Birds gotta fly, fishes gotta swim, dude. Let a playa play. This week the campers are pushed to be extreme. Who will crack under the pressure? Find out right now on TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND!"
*Theme song*
The sun rises, another day for Kris' torturous challenges. But at this moment they're all still sleeping, unaware that they'll be in for a rude awakening any moment, nor that a bear is scurrying around the campsite feeding on the marshmallows.
The sounds of a plane flying outside was heard and quickly woke everyone up from both sides of both cabins. LeShawn growls and tries to drown the sound by putting the pillow over his head. Olivia's mouth is smothered with chocolate and her bed is full of candy wrappers.
Making their way outside, all 11 campers saw Kris flying around in a plane, wearing a Star Wars X-Wing pilot costume. "Incoming!" Kris yelled as it looked as though she's about to crash into the campers.
"Hit the deck!" Bradley screamed to the other campers as they all ducked out of the way. Only to see that Kris had flown over them.
"Yes!" Kris cheered. "I can't wait to get my pilot's license!" Kris said. Right as she said that, she ended up crashing into an outhouse ad revealed a bear that has stolen multiple bags of marshmallows.
Once Kris has successfully manage to both land and stop her plane, the campers all walked over to the hostess aas she opened the window and pulled out a megaphone. "Just flexing your muscles for today's... Extreme sports challenge!" She announced with the last part being through the megaphone and causing the campers to wince. Many of them having bags under their eyes.
"Ugh... It's too early for this." Glen groaned. He already lost Trisha last challenge, the last thing he needs is another crazy challenge taking place early in the morning.
"This week, you'll participate in three challenges." Kris explained. "First up, Extreme sofa bed skydiving!" Announcing it through the megaphone, Kris begins explaining it as the door on the side of the plane opened, revealing Lunchlady in a sky diver's outfit with ann old and moldy sofa bed below her on the ground. "Contestants will plummet, uh... Skydive to a waiting sofa bed target below." Everyone watched as Lunchlady jumped dow on the sofa bed olny for it to close up once she hit it, all the campers winced as they heard the burly lunch lady's muffled screams. "Of course, you'll be skydiving from five thousand feet. And using these." Kris then threw out two parachutes, making the camperss gasp whenn they heard how far they'll be when they jump. "Our lucky contestants are Gwen and DJ."
Both the goth and the tall girl gulped as they looked at each other fearfully.
"Welp, you know what they say on Blackcomb Mountain, 'best glimpse of heaven's on the way into hell.'" Glen said.
"Yeah. Uh, sure. Why not?" DJ said nervously.
"Not so fast. Because the second challenge of the day is... Extreme rodeo moose riding!" Kris announced as she gestured to a wooden pen containing a large moose. "Contestants will rodeo ride the great Canadian bucking moose for eight seconds or get hooved into a giant pile of socks from the lost-and-found." Everyone looked and put on a face of disgust as they saw a large pile of socks with flies swarming it and just eating up the free stink.
"That stink pile ain't nothing but laundry day back home." LeShawn claimed as he was one of the few not intimidated by this.
"It's your lucky day, LeShawn." Kris said as she grinned at the boy with a tude. "You're riding for Gophers. And Bradley, you'll ride for Bass.
"Oh... yay." Bradley said nervously.
"She doesn't look too bucky to me." Olivia claimed as she went up to the moose's pin and peaked in on the moose. "Hi, beautiful." She was then met with the moose punching her in the face with one of its forelegs.
"And the final challenge... Extreme sea doo waterskiing!" Kris announced what the third and final challenge of the day would be as she pointed over to an area that didn't actually have any water and was just a lake of mud. "Contestants will waterski a race course grabbing as many flags as they can before crossing the finish line. While a member from the opposing team tries to deceive you."
"How can we waterski without water?" Heath questioned as he looked over the muddy lake.
"It's really hard. Check it out." Kris continued to speak through her megaphone as she pointed back at the lake. They all saw Lunchlady on dry land starting up a sea doo... and then screaming as she quickly wiped out uncontrollably and crashed into a tree, even knocking it down. "Awesome!" Kris laughed. "Harriet, you'll ski for Killer Bass."
"Sweet!" Harriet cheered, finally given the perfect opportunity to put her mad skills to the test.
"And Lenny for the Screaming Gophers." Kris told the Gophers' dumb blond while still using her much beloved megaphone.
"Awesome!" Lenny is pretty psyched about it as he struck a pose. "I can show off my hot bod in my new swimsuit!"
"Now for the cool swag!" Kris began announcing what everyone was really antipcating for from this challenge - the reward. "Whoever scores the most challenges gets bragging rights for the night, saves their butts from elimination and wins a tricked out Multi Massage Mobile Shower."
Everyone looked on in amazement as Lunchlady played music on a harp in front of a beautiful, high-quality, and most importantly, clean mobile shower.
"That's it?!" Heath asked, seeing what he believes to be a lame prize.
"That's it." Kris confirmed with a nod.
"Well, I suppose it's better than nothing." Heath sighed. "I haven't had a decent shower since I came to this stupid island."
"Ah, a shower?" Olivia said as she stuffed her face with marshmallows. The big girl wasn't really excited about the reward. They already had showers in the communal bathrooms. To her, this just seems meaningless. "How 'bout something good?"
Just then, Heath got into Olivia's face with an intense glare. "Listen to me, you marshmallow-eating hippo! We are going to win that shower if it's the last thing we do, got it?" Olivia then started to gag and choke, making Heath flinch and run away. Harriet quickly come to Olivia's aid as the ginger slapped Olivia's back as hard as she could and got her to couch out the white treat, which rocketed towards Heath in the back of the head. "Ow!"
"Okay, gang. Chow for breaky, then report back in twenty minutes for..." Kris then started up her plane, getting exhaust fumes in a few campers' faces, as she spoke through her megaphone once again. "The extreme sports challenge!"
Later, everyone was in the mess hall and quickly eating their breakfast before they would go through another living hell today. Especially Olivia, as she finsihed plate after plate of food. And when she reached her final plate, she didn't even noticed something was on it as she stuffed it all into her mouth before handing her dirty plate to Lunchlady. Olivia then burped out the thing that was on her food to land on the stack of plates Lunchlady was carrying. "Sweet grub, lady!"
Looking at what Olivia burped up, Lunchlady picked it up and saw it was some kind of note with a red heart in front. "For the guy with smoldering eyes?" Lunchlady read what was in the note before tossing it aside.
Bradley and Glen happened to both watch and overheard this, so they walked up to the table and Bradley picked up the note, opening it for both he and the goth to read. "Check it out. It's a corny haiku poem." Glen said.
"Whoa, dude. Some betty's crushing big time. It's probably for you, bro." Bradley said.
"Nah, maybe it's for you. It can't be from Trisha, since she was voted out last week."
"Oh yeah. But dude, she was totally crunching on you. I've seen the way she always scams an extra muffin for you."
"Yeah, but Georgia was also into you." Glen pointed as he remembers something that happened a couple weeks ago. "Remember at the dock that one time, how she tried to get your attention?"
Bradley recalled that day. "Yeah, she tried to water ski and Trisha accidentally backed into her with the sea doo." Both guys laughed fondly at the memory with Bradley's face turning a shade of red.
"Then again, Georgia probably couldn't pronounce haiku, let alone write one." Glen chuckled.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Bradley said with a bit of anger in his voice.
"Nothing." Glen claimed. "She's just doesn't seem like the scholarly type to me."
"Oh, and Trisha is busy boning up on her Neitzche right now?" Bradley said angrily as he snatched the poem away from Glen's hands.
Ticked off, Glen snatched it back. "I think Trisha is more Neitzche than Georgia is haiku-y."
"Haiku-y?" Bradley scoffed. "Well, at least Georgia isn't a poser." He snatched the poem again. "Trisha probably doesn't even write her own songs."
Glen tried to grab back the poem, leading the two fighting over it until it accidentally ripped in half. Both boys gasped before glaring back at each other.
"Tell you what, Brody." Glen sneered. "I'll bet you two nights dessert that the poem was for me."
"Oh, I'm up for that. Down with that. Whatever, dude." Bradley said, not exactly knowing his betting terms, making Glen smirk at him. "You're on!"
Everyone from both teams were at the beach with the Bass and Gophers having their sofa beds ready to push with Curtis laying back on one with Denica on his lap. Meanwhile DJ and Glen, the ones who would be skydiving, were equipped with their parachutes and some helmets as well.
"Now, remember!" Kris reminded everyone while in the cockpit of her plane and still wearing her X-Wing pilot costume. "Ground teams can wheelie the sofa beds wherever they want in order to help their comrade with the landing."
"Sayonara, Glen." Heath grinned at Glen with the goth glarinng at the rich boy ass he drew a chalk outline of Glen on the ground. "I can only imagine what Trisha's reaction to seeing you plummet to your death will be."
As Glen growled at Heath, Denica chuckled and spoke up. "It's always great to see you boys getting along." Denica joked which got a laugh out of Curtis. "Gives me that warm fluffy feeling."
"Yeah? Well maybe I'm doing this as a form of self-expression? Like haiku?" Glen claimed, waiting for some girl to reply. Nothing. Except for everyone staring at him oddly. "Or... not?" Glen quickly frowned as he looked to Bradley, giving him a smug smile and shaking his head.
CONFESSIONAL - GLEN
"Okay, so it wasn't my most subtle sleuthing moment." Glen sighed, crossing his arms.
And so, Glen and DJ got in the plane and Kris flew 5,000 feet into the air. Meanwhile, Heath, LeShawn, Lenny, and Bert are pushing the sofa bed to the beach, where they should be landing at.
It appears the tides are starting to come in, as the sand wet and softer. Making it harder to the sofa bed than it already was. "Push!" Heath ordered.
"Why is this so damn heavy?" LeShawn grunted.
They suddenly hear snoring. They stopped and found the source of their difficulty. Olivia is sleeping on the sofa bed. They try to wake her up, but she's a very deep sleeper. Bert, LeShawn, and Lenny try to push Olivia off, with Heath using his foot. "Come on, you fat tub of lard, move!" Heath said.
"This isn't going to work." Bert groaned.
"Any other bright ideas?" LeShawn sighed.
Heath painted a red "X" on Olivia's butt.
"At least it'll be a soft landing." Heath joked.
The two looked completely terrified as they looked out of the plane as Kris held up some forms to them. "If you could just fill these out...!" Kris asked as DJ and Glen looked confused.
"But we already signed insurance forms at the beginning of the show!" DJ pointed out as she remembered signing all the stuff before she got to the camp.
"Yeah! But these are for organ donation!" Kris explained that the forms he had were for something completely different. "I have this cool cannibal challenge I wanna pitch to the producers, and this'll go a long way toward budgeting free props!" DJ and Glen only looked more horribed as Kris looked down and saw they were above the beach. "Here comes the drop, you two!"
DJ gulped. Her fear of heights hasn't changed since day one of camp. Heck, she is sure that this experience will only make that worse.
"I don't see the drop zone!" Glen said, as he tries hard to find it. "Uh, I don't think I can do this, man!"
"Don't worry, dude. I'm sure you'll hit the mattress." DJ said, as she pat Glen on the back, accidentally pushing him out.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaahhhh...!" Glen screamed all the way down.
"Oh snap." DJ said as she looked down.
Back down at the beach, the Gophers suddenly hear Glen's scream as he falls rather quickly. They see that he's trying top pull the color-coded strings for the parachute.
CRASH!
"Oooooooooooh!" LeShawn and Lenny winced, while Heath smirk and Olivia snored, as they watched Glen completely miss the mattress and Olivia, and fell into the sand. Fortunately, it was soft enough to break his fall.
"Are you alright, Glen?" Bert asked.
"Glen!" LeShawn called out to the goth as he quickly ran to where Glen had crashed landed and heard his friend groan in pain.
"Oh good, you're alive. Thank god." Heath said sarcastically.
LeShawn briefly glared at him before looking back at Glen. "You alright, dawg?"
"Oh, I'm okay. Never better. Except for a broken arm, I'm just peachy."
"Don't worry, yo." LeShawn reassured the boy he would call his best friend on the islannd and picked the both up bridal style. "LeShawn will take ya to the infirmary."
While Glen was taken to the infirmary to get his broken arm casted, the Killer Bass were working on pushing the sofa to where DJ would hopefully land. And as they were pushing, Bradley used this as an opportunity to find out the admirer. "Anyone know what's really romantic?" The surfer asked.
"Hey bras, what do you consider romantic?" Bradley asked the girls on their team.
"One guy painted my name on the wall of my principal's office." Denica said.
"One of the guys in my Dungeons & Dragons club saved my character Teirrah the Forest Maiden from a fire-breathing 3-headed dire bear." Harriet said.
"Uh, actually I was thinking more of the written word." Bradley said. "Like a tattoo maybe. Georgia once showed me her tattoo that was one her butt. It was, like, so sexy, dudes."
Back at the plane, DJ is trying to get herself to jump. "Okay. Pull the blue cord first, then the red." she said as she grabbed each colored cord. "Blue, then red." she jumped off, and pulls one of the cords but it came off. "Blue! Red?!" the other one pulled off as well. She began to panic and scream down, frantically waving around.
"Go, go, go!" Bradley and Harriet said as the Killer Bass kept pushing the sofa to catch DJ.
"AAAAAAAAHHH!" The Bass' attention was quickly drawn to the sky ass they saw DJ falling down to Earth with her parachute out and her limbs flailing around frantically.
"Go! Go! Go!" Harriet and Bradley yelled as the Bass put it in overtime to push the sofa bed to where they saw DJ was landing.
They finally stopped at the spot they figured DJ was landing at, as...
And succesfully landed on the sofa bed!
All the Bass cheered as DJ finally opened her eyes once she realized he stopped falling. "Everything's still here." DJ asked as she looked over her body. "Nothing's broken?" Once DJ saw that she was completely intact, the tall girl breathed a sigh of relief... before the sofa bed suddenly folded back into itself, turning into just a sofa with DJ trapped inside. The Killer Bass then proceed to simply walk away whistling.
Just then, Kris descended in her plane to where she was above the beach and spoke to everyone with her megaphone. "Gophers lose, Bass wins!" She announced to everyone as she flew over them. "One-zero!"
"Okay, cowpokes! Let's start... the rodeo moose challenge!" Kris wasted no time in starting the second part of today's challenge.
"Rodeo ridin's kinda like surfin'." Bradley explained as he, Curtis, and Glen approach the penned-up moose. If one looked closely, it seemed that the moose was glaring at Bradley as he approached. "Once you catch the lip, you just flow with the mojo. Kinda like the ancient art of Japanese haiku." Getting no response from anyone, Bradley climbed into the pen and got on top of the moose. He was confident enough to do this, instead of riding on the moose, he stood up on the animal and was ready to surf the moose. But not before, "Hey guys, wanna know where exactly see that tat?" Bradley pulled his shorts and underwear down a little to point to a spot on his butt.
"No way!" Glen said with a smirk.
The moose looked up and saw Bradley's exposed behind and quickly got enraged.
And just a second later, Lunchlady opened up the gate to the pen and the moose quickly took off and tramped Lunchlady in the process. "AAAAAHHH!" Bradley screamed as the surfer was far from ready and his shorts and underwear dropped down.
"And Geoff's..." Kris said as she took out her stop watch, only for Bradley to fly over the host as the moose quickly bucked Bradley off him and into the pile of dirty socks. "Out?"
As Bradley emerged his head from the dirty pile of socks, the stink already sticking to him, Denica came up to Bradley, grabbed a few dirty socks, and proceed them into Bradley's mouth.
CONFESSIONAL - BRADLEY
"Okay..." Bradley admitted with the stink of the socks practically visible on him. "I kinda deserved that."
"Ooh, that stinks big time for Bass!" Kris said through her megaphone with a pin over her nose to block out the smell. "No, seriously? That is some rank stuff. LeShawn, let's go!"
Once Lunchlady managed to get the moose back in the penn, LeShawn was more than ready as he climbed on top of the moose and held up to its antlers. Not standing up on it with his pants down like Bradley stupidly did. "I hope you got a moose burger recipe handy!" LeShawn told Lunchlady Hatchet in a confident and kinda cocky tone. Then the boy with a tude patted the moose on the head and said, "Heheh. Easy, boy. You don't wanna make me mad, now."
The moose growls and makes an enraged expression at that statement. Its eyes turned red and flammes erupted from its nostrils. "Sweet mother of– Aah!" Lunchlady didn't even get to open the gate as the moose crashed right through the gate with LeShawn holding on tight, refusing to let go.
As LeShawn was doing his challenge, Bradley and Glen weren't in the best of moods. Both boys got into each other's faces insulting one another. "So? At least I'm not the one with a broken arm!" Bradley said back to Glen.
"So I'm not the one stinking." Glen insulted back Bradley back.
"Ooh! Ooh! That the best you got? Ooh! You got nothin'! Whoo!"
As LeShawn rode the moose in the background, both Bass boys sighed. They're just wasting their time insulting each other. "Okay, none of us have have been able to draw out the secret admirer." Glen admitted
"Yeah, and we like kinda just assumed it was for us." Bradley said.
They give each other a bro hug.
"Get me off this thing!" LeShawn yelled.
"Okay, dude, whoever it is, we're gonna find out." Bradley declared, and offers his hand to Glen. "Deal?" Glen shakes on it.
LeShawn continues riding on the moose, who trampled on the bags of marshmallows the bear was about to snack on.
"So, we have a tie!" Kris announced as she drove around the next and final area where the challenge would take place. "Whoever wins the extreme sea doo waterski challenge... wins invincibility!"
"IIIIIIII'm ready!" A familiar voice called out to the Gophers. Getting everyone's attention, they all gasped as they saw Lenny in a green speedo, showing off his male model-like body. The girls were staring at his bulge, and impressed with his size. He's also wearing sunglasses and still has on his white-polkadot blue bandana.
"Eh-hem!" An annoyed Curtis cleared his throat to get Denica's attention.
"What? The dude's packed!" Denica said.
"We are so dead." Heath facepalmed. "Unless... I get to drive the wave jumper!"
"Just win the damn shower already so I can wash off this funky smell." LeShawn told Heath as he sat on a rock.
CONFESSIONAL - HARRIET
"This is it. We're tied for the win." Harriet explained as she began to hype herself up. This was her chance to prove herself and get the win for her team. "Bad-to-the-bone Denica is driving Lenny. I'm skiing for the Bass. Winning is inevitable. Goodbye wedgies, wet willies, and toilet face plunges. Hello..." she then puts on a pair of sunglasses herself and lifted up a plunger over her shoulder. "Dirty Harriet."
"Okay, so haikuist candidates are Denica, Harriet, DJ, or Olivia." Bradley, while he and Glen were sitting right inn front of hte outhouse confessional, listed off all the guys on the island that were still in the running for who wrote the poem.
"Like, we know Denica is crushing on Curtis, so she's out. And Harriet is..."
The confessional door then opened and the two saw Harriet with her sunglasses. "Hello, boys." Harriet said in a sultry voice, then trips on her untied shoelaces and feel to the ground fast first.
"Yeah. I'll take Olivia, you take DJ." Glen said.
And so it was time for the final extreme sports challenge to begin. First to ski was Harriet, wearing her swimsuit, with Heath driving the sea doo. "You are so out of your league, Queen Geek." Heath told Harriet in a cocky tone. No way that scrawny chick was going to be able to win this with him driving.
"Here's the road rules. Oh wait, there are no rules!" Kris revealed with an excited grin. "Which means this is gonna be awesome!"
As things were just getting started, Bradley walked up to DJ and asked, "So, read any good poems lately?"
DJ returned the statement with, "So, ask any arbitrary way-out-of-left-field questions lately?" Bradley sighed at this and signaled to Glen that DJ was a no-go for the poem.
"Aaaaaand go!" Kris yelled, as she waved a flag to signal the start of the sea doo challenge.
Heath grinned and immediatly took off at full speed. This caused Harriet to have her feet pulled out of the skis and getting dragged through the mud. Literally.
"Ahh! Oh! Ow! Oowah!" Harriet grunted as she was completley assaulted by mud, something Heath grinned as the first flag was coming up attached to a ramp. But when Heath sumped this, Harriet actually managed to grab onto and take the flag. "Flag one for Bass!" Kris announced through the loudspeaker.
Harriet's team cheer for the ginger, as Bradley and DJ give each other a high five while Denica gives Harriet a thumbs up.
"No!" Heath shouted as Harriet lifted the flag up while using her other arm to hold on tightly to the T-bar. All the while she had a smile on her face and refusing to let up and lose. Heath speed forward and tried to throw Harriet off over and over again, but the Bass' ginger player proved to be very persistent and before everyone knew it, she had all five flags in her hand.
"Five flags and headed home!" Kris announced, making the Bass cheer once again.
"That's impossible!" Heath yelled in complete disbelief. How could this total dork beat her?
"Heath has to cross the finish line or be disqualified! But when he does, Harriet will take five flags to victory for the Killer Bass!" Kris said.
"Crap!" Heath aghast.
CONFESSIONAL - HEATH
"I couldn't let that little dorkette win." Heath explained with a smirk on his face. "So I decided to cut her loose."
Heath turned backwards and pulled out a pocket knife. "Game over, guppy!" Heath said.
"Victory is... huh?" Harriet saw Heath trying to cut the rope. But as he was about to, the sea doo passed under a tree branch. A very low hanging tree branch. A tree branch that undid his ponytail and caught Heath's shirt and shorts... and ripped it right off.
Completely exposing him naked to Harriet.
"...AAH, [BLEEEEEEEP]!" Heath let out a big scream as he quickly covers his groin with his hands.
Harriet meanwhile had gotten a full view of his well-endowed manhood and gasped in shock, completely losing her focus... and crashed into a rock, dropping her flags.
Instead of crossing the finish line, the sea doo crashed into another rock, sending Heath flying and screaming, until he landed on the bear's belly, making him drop the marshmallows. The bear growls at him.
Just then Kris came through on the track driving her ATV and said. "I don't know what Heath did to make Harriet lose her concentration, but its a total wipeout for the Bass team!" Kris said.
While the Bass all winced or showed their disapproval of Harriet losing her focus over... something they couldn't quite make out, Harriet herself wasn't regretting a thing as she had the most amazed expression on her face. "Penis..." The ginger said in a spaced-out tone.
Meanwhile Olivia wasn't really paying attention to anything as she's chowing down on a bag of marshmallows. As she did this, Glen walked up to her and asked the big girl, "So if we win, is there a someone special you'll be, uh, showering for?"
"Why would I need to shower?" Olivia asked the goth with her mouth full. "We're in the wild! We're supposed to get dirty." She then released a loud burp right in front of Glen's face, making him gag.
"Ohh, god! Never mind." Glen yelled at Olivia as he tried not to throw up. She somehow smells worse than Bradley at the moment. "Ugh!"
And so, the second half of the challenge begins. Skiing for the Gophers was Lenny with Denica driving him. If Lenny got even one flag, the Gophers would win. So the punk girl was gonna make sure Lenny didn't lay a finger on a single flag.
"Ready, set, ride it like it's sweeps week!" Kris started the challenge with the wave of the flag like before. "Go!"
Unlike with Harriet, Lenny actually manage to stay on his skis as Denica took off. The punk girl was given the same path to take as Heath so when Denica reached the ramp, she tried to throw Lenny off but to everyone's suprise, the dumb blond actually managed to do a flip and catch the flag. "Flag one!" Kris announced leaving the Gophers to cheer. Olivia and LeShawn give each other high fives, only for the latter to end up with a sticky hand due to Olivia eating marshmallows. "Ew."
Though Heath is currently absent, as he's being chased by the bear while still naked.
Denica did everything she could think of to throw Lenny off, but...
"Flag two, three, four..." Denica growled as she looked back to see Lenny had caught the fifth and final flag in his hand, and staring back at the punk girl with a determined glare. "Lenny has snagged all five and is racing home for the win! Denica is eukered! She has to cross!"
"Says you! Yeah!" Denica yelled as she let go of the bbars of the sea doo annd was about to let it go out of control and not steer it. "YEEEEAAHH!" However, Denica ended up crashing right into a rock and flung off the sea doo and into a tree with Lenny keeping up the momentum he had and crossed the finish line with all five flags. Securing a win for the Screaming Gophers.
"Whoo!" Lenny cheered as Kris pulled up nearby on her ATV.
"He won?" The hostess asked with an expression of disbelief in her face. Kris then smirked as she spoke into the walkie talkie she had that was connected to the speakers. "Gophers win!"
All the Gophers cheered for their victory while the Bass all sighed and slumped down.
"Sorry about that, Donna, but I could really use that shower!" Lenny said.
"Ugh, whatever!" Denica said.
"Come over here, brotha!" LeShawn said as he gives Lenny a bro hug.
"Really could've used that shower, dude." Bradley said.
"Fwoo! Right you are, my skunky friend." DJ said, as she got a whiff of the surfer.
CONFESSIONAL - BRADLEY
"So I landed in a pile of socks. Big deal. I can't stink that bad, can I?" Bradley asked. Then the flies buzzing inside the stall suddenly dropped.
"The Bass team went belly-up and will now decide which fishy to flush, while the Gophers totally scored some much-needed showers." Kris said in front of the camera.
LeShawn and Lenny emerged from the mobile shower, wearing nothing but a towel and their flip-flops, and dripping wet. "That wasn't so bad after all." LeShawn sighed.
"Nope." Lenny agreed.
Glen and Bradley are sitting at one of the picnic tables, still discussing about the poem. Though Glen has a clothespin on his nose so he won't smell the surfer. "So we ruled out Olivia and DJ." Glen said.
"I know! So who could it be?" Bradley wondered.
"Who could what be?" LeShawn asked as he walked nearby.
"Another note from your secret admirer, LeShawn?" Kris asked.
"LeShawn's the crush?" The surprised bboys said in unison.
"You two know someone else here with hard pecs like these?" LeShawn asked, while flexing his chest for them to see.
"But who wrote it?" Glen wondered.
And so it was time for the bass to once again send one of their own members home. The only one not sitting by the fire was Bradley who, due to his stink, had to hang out by a nearby tree while a female skunk tried to hit on him.
"As you know, if you do not recieve a marshmallow, you will be forced to walk the Dock of Shame, and you will never ever return to camp." Kris recited the usual rules of the elimination ceremony. Then she picked up two marshmallows and threw them to the first two campers that were safe. "DJ and Curtis, you are safe."
The CIT and the tall girl smiled as they caught their marshmallows as Kris took out her megaphone in one hand and picked up a marshmallow with the other. "Bradley! You're safe, too!"
Kris then chucked his marshmallow to the tree Bradley was on and the surfer dude caught it. "Busta mucha!" Bradley called out, making a Shaka sign, as the female skunk looked at the surfer with dreamy eyes.
And so there are two campers, Harriet and Denica, and one marshmallow of safety. "That leaves Harriet," Kris stated as the ginger is all giddy for some reason, not showing to be nervous at all "who bailed big for reasons unknown."
CONFESSIONAL - HARRIET
"Penis." The ginger let out in zero regrets.
"And Denica" Kris went on causing an expression of rage to come to the punk girl's face. "who bailed even bigger because Lenny left her circling the drain in a shameless–"
Kris was cut-off by Denica walking up to the hostess and grabbing her by the collar. "The guy was determined." She said through gritted teeth.
"Which is why you're safe." Kris told Denica in a bit of a frightened tone as she handed the last marshmallow to the punk girl. This seemed to have calmed down Denica as she took the marshmallow and walked next to Curtis and planted a kiss on his cheek. So that left Harriet as the eliminated camper. "Harriet, sorry girl. You're done like dinner."
Harriet nodded her had and fully accepted her loss. Getting up, she walked by her teammates and gave a few high fives as she gave her goodbyes. "Well, it's been fun, you guys." she told everyone.
The ginger then collected all of her stuff and all members from both teams went to the dock to see her off. All except Heath who was still in the shower.
Before she heads down to the Dock of Shame, Harriet went to give Bert a hug. "It was great getting to know you, Bert. We should hang out sometime after the show."
"I'd like that. Maybe we can go to Comic-Con together later this year." Bert said.
"Sounds like a plan." Harriet said. "Bye, Bert."
"See ya around, Harriet." Bert said.
Harriet then walked down to the dock as the Boat of Losers arrived. "Farewell Total Drama Island!" she yelled to everyone as she put a hand to her heart. "I loved, I lost, and I saw a guy's penis! What more could a lady ask for?"
"You loved?" Glen asked in a confused tone.
"You're a lady?" LeShawn questioned.
"You saw what?!" Bradley yelled with widened eyes.
Harriet threw all her stuff into the Boat of Losers... but still had one last thing to say to one particular person on the island. "LeShawn!" The ginger called out and getting his attention. "I meant every word of that poem!"
"What? You wrote that poem?" LeShawn asked surprised, as he finds himself running towards the ginger.
Most of the campers had their jaws drop, espeically Glen and Bradley. "Dude. No. Way." Bradley said.
Everyone watched as Harriet and LeShawn ran towards each other with smiles on their faces. And when they reached one another, LeShawn wrapped up Harriet in a tight hug that, though bone-crushing, Harriet was extremely happy to be in. "Ho, you all kinds of freaky!" LeShawn said, giving the ginger nerd a big squeeze.
"Give me some sugar, baby." Harriet said in a bit of a strained voice due to the pressure of LeShawn's hug.
Everyone watched as LeShawn and Harriet share a kiss right under the moonlight. Olivia, DJ, and Denica gasped, while Curtis, Bradley, Glen, Bert, and Lenny cheered.
"Yeah, I was surprised when I found out myself."
"Hold up! You knew about this?!"
"Well, yeah. She told me during Lunchlady's boot camp training."
Sadly, LeShawn and Harriet's kiss came to an end when Lunchlady grabbed Harriet by her shirt and started dragging the ginger away. Harriet waved goodbye and blew a kiss to LeShawn as the boy with the tude waved back before walking away with a satisfied expression on his face.
CONFESSIONAL - LUNCHLADY
"LeShawn and Harriet? I was as shocked as you. But you didn't read the letters." Lunchlady chuckled. "Ooh, spicy."
Once a love-struck Harriet departed on the Boat of Losers, some of the girls remembered something Harriet said before she left and turned to LeShawn. "Wait a sec, Harriet saw your woody?!" DJ spoke up.
"Can we see?" Olivia asked as she eyed on LeShawn's pants.
"Hell no she didn't see my junk." LeShawn answered, then turn to the fat girl. "And do I look like a male stripper to you?" He asked rhetorically.
"Are you?" Olivia asked eagerly.
"(BLEEP) NO!" LeShawn shouted, then he realized something. "Wait a minute. Who's dick did you see?!" He yelled to Harriet, but she was too far gone to answer. Then he glares at the other guys, who quickly denied showing off their unmentionables. Curtis has a thing for Denica, Glen has a thing for Trisha, Bradley has a thing for Georgia, and Lenny looks like the kind of guy who would brag about it. Since he did show off in his speedo a few hours ago. Then that just leaves one person...
Heath, as if on cue, comes out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his waist, sighing in relief. "Yeah, that's just what I needed."
"Uh-uh-uh-uh-oh-oh-oh-oh." Getting the rich boy's attention, Heath saw a pissed-off LeShawn marching towards him. "Ah hell no! Oh, see now, you messed with the wrong brotha!"
"What? You think I'd actually wanted to show that geek girl my Johnson? As if! I mean, I do have standards." Heath said, essentially confirming that he flashed himself at Harriet. Which explains to everyone how Harriet lost her focus.
Heath then started to panic and scream as LeShawn started chasing after him. "Get back here!" LeShawn shouted.
Bert smirked at his bully getting his just desserts. Same goes for Glen and Bradley.
"Well, that's settled. Night." Glen said to Bradley.
"Night." Bradley said.
Author's Notes:
Glen calls Bradley "Brody", Geoff's best friend and fellow surfer in Total Drama Ridonculous Race. The same way Gwen called Bridgette "Betty".
Ready for the sea doo challenge, Lenny says SpongeBob's catchphrase.
Lenny calls Denica "Donna", another possible name for female Duncan.
"Busta mucha" is a surf slang I heard in the short-lived MTV cartoon Good Vibes. At least I'm sure that's how it's said.
I've always intended to have Harriet be voted out here like her male counterpart in the canon episode. Whether or not the next person to be voted off will be the same as in canon or someone else entirely, you'll find out.