Tsubane and Shizune searched the library for three days straight. They also gained access to secret scrolls the Hokage let them look at. But they still hadn't found anything. Lady Tsunade sometimes came to look at scrolls and books. She was very busy, when she wasn't at the hospital assessing Arashi, she was with her assistants, searching. Tsubane noticed the Sannin to be quite direct with her. She expected some sort of authority from her new teacher, but sometimes, her way of wording or her tone, it came out a bit… bitchy. As if Lady Tsunade changed her mind about having the genin as an assistant. The woman preferred talking with Shizune and seemed to avoid Tsubane at times. When not, she was firm in her sayings or bossy.
If Tsubane had idolized the woman for so long, her happy bubble burst out quite fast. Lady Tsunade did not seem to be a nice woman. Tsubane felt sad when she returned home at night. It was a weird feeling, to help someone you wanted to meet for so long, but then they treat you like an asshole. Tsubane knew the woman was probably tired, but she wasn't treating Shizune like that. "She probably thinks I'm just an average genin, after all," Tsubane thought to herself the fourth day, alone in a section of the library. She blamed herself for her enthusiasm. She had never had anyone close to her, a model, so she had become overly excited to interest the Sannin. And Tsubane wound up being the ordinary orphan she always was, useless. She couldn't find a damn thing about her teammate's sickness!
Shizune approached her as they were leaving after a day searching through the medicinal books and texts of the like.
"Lord Fourth called some other Kage, those from the hidden villages we are at peace with, to know if they ever experienced something similar with their jinchurikis. The Kazekage reported he hasn't had a problem with his son. We are still waiting on some replies from other lands."
Tsubane felt discouraged, tears in her eyes. She was afraid of losing Arashi. He was one of the few people to care about her. One of the very few classmates she had that ever showed some attention to her when they were at the academy. Naruto seemed to have a big group of friends that even the Shy Hinata and Shino were able to join, but it always felt very hard for Tsubane to be included. The group didn't let anyone get in. Naturally, Tsubane was hanging out with the least popular children. But sometimes, Arashi came to join, suddenly claiming he was excluded from the popular squad.
Then they became teammates, with Sai, and the trio's chemistry kept on building. Tsubane had felt, for the first time in her life, that she belonged. If she lost Arashi, what would her team become? Sai was not much of a talker, she knew that from living with him. And Yamato was a nice sensei, but he was just their teacher.
Tsubane was about to leave to go to her apartment, thinking she should go home to give Shin his weekly treatment, but Lady Tsunade called her name. Tsubane almost rolled her eyes and grumbled, but she caught herself last minute. She was annoyed and feeling moody today.
"What do you want?" It was dry, too dry. The woman frowned and almost took a step back, completely taken by surprise by the teenager's sharpness.
"I just wanted to invite you to the barbecue restaurant," Tsunade said after a little moment of silence.
Tsubane took a deep breath. "Well, I have other places to be." She didn't want to go with the woman who treated her like she was no one. She wished she could go with Arashi, and the rest of her team, like they did sometimes. Tsunade's face changed, and she seemed to think her student was a brat, and Tsubane realized she should take it down a notch. The woman was trying to make efforts to improve their relationship, and the teen had completely shut her down. It was maybe a bit mean. "But I appreciate the gesture. Maybe another night."
Lady Tsunade nodded. "You probably want to visit Arashi, or rest at home? I admit I made you work a lot this week. I have the Hokage on my back always asking for progress, but sometimes I forget that Arashi is probably a close friend, your teammate. It probably matters to you more than to me. And I assure you, even if we don't feel like we are getting somewhere, you are a big help."
Tsubane was taken aback by the woman's sayings. She wasn't admitting she was being bossy, but she was trying to be nice. Lady Tsunade hadn't said a word today to the genin, one of those days where Tsubane felt the woman was avoiding her, but it did not seem to be anymore.
"Thank you, Lady Tsunade. But I have to go home, my roommate has a sickness and usually I do his treatment, which is due today."
"Oh. Well, would this roommate of yours mind if I go to your house as well? I could help you so we could head to the restaurant afterwards. I'm sure you don't feel like cooking anyways." Lady Tsunade's usual firm tone turned into hesitation. "I, uh, I'd like to get to know you a little more. Treat you to a meal for your hard work. I know I haven't been the nicest person in the last few days, and I wanted to spend time with you outside of the environment we are in."
Tsubane spotted Shizune making an encouraging smile to her working partner. Was it the assistant's idea, the meal? Tonton oinked happily. Tsubane felt suddenly like Lady Tsunade was forced into being nice, and her hesitation to invite the genin out didn't feel genuine. So she tried refusing again, but this time with a bit more tact.
"You are my boss, shouldn't we keep to ourselves outside of work?"
Lady Tsunade started laughing. "I asked you to be my assistant, not my slave. Besides, you spend all your days trying to help your friend, and you go home to help your roommate. When's the last time you had time for yourself? You need to take care of yourself, trust me."
Tsubane was startled. She frowned. Lady Tsunade was not wrong, but spending time with the Sannin didn't feel like time for herself. Though she admired the woman for so long, maybe she'd have stories to tell that Tsubane would love? And since when did the woman care about the kid's well-being? Did Tsubane look so bad that the Sannin insisted on taking care of her? But she said, "Trust me," as if she had been there. Tsubane suddenly recalled the woman's addiction to alcohol and gambling. Was Lady Tsunade projecting?
Tsubane ended up agreeing to the restaurant. She didn't know why she said yes to going out with a fifty-year-old woman, but she did. She insisted on going home to treat Shin alone, though. He didn't trust many people, besides, Tsubane hadn't the time to clean, and while Sai was not as messy as she thought he'd be, there was still a regular vacuum to do and dishes to wash.
An hour later, both medic nin were sitting at the restaurant.
"Is Shizune coming too?"
"No. I wanted to use this moment to learn about you. I spend half of my life with Shizune, there's nothing I will tell you that she doesn't already know. And questions I could have for you are none of her business."
"Shizune, is she a friend to you, or your student?"
Tsunade made a little smile. "She's been traveling with me for many years. She had a good medic talent as well, so I took her under my wings long ago." Tsunade's smile faded out. "She's my late boyfriend's niece. I don't like talking about Dan much."
Tsubane didn't know how long it was since he had died, but the pain still seemed to be there for the woman, as if it was still fresh. Tsubane didn't question further, it was made clear that this topic was out of boundaries.
Lady Tsunade didn't have many stories to tell about her time spent traveling. She admitted it was mostly gambling and drinking. Tsubane was quite surprised with how the woman seemed to be an open book today.
The waitress came in to take their order. Tsubane was surprised when the Sannin only asked for water as a drink. "I want to stay sober for our dinner tonight. I owe you at least this. I promised Shizune I wouldn't drink."
Tsubane was confused. She heard about the woman tending to abuse alcohol, but it's not like the teen had never seen anyone drunk. What made Tsubane so special?
Lady Tsunade asked the teen about her childhood. She seemed disappointed when Tsubane admitted she had always been at the orphanage until she made genin. "I was hoping someone would adopt you, I'm sorry."
"What are you sorry about? Didn't you save my life? While it wasn't great, it was not that bad. At least I'm not dead."
Tears came up the woman's eyes. Tsubane didn't understand. Why was the Sannin acting so strangely? She went from showing interest to the wannabe medic nin, to ignoring her completely, to now caring so badly about her life that she was on the verge of crying?
Their food was served, and Tsunade ordered sake. She then apologized a dozen times. "I told you I wouldn't drink, but I don't know how to do this. I wanted to seem strong to you. I wanted to try to be the caring person that should have been there for you. But hearing your story brings back so many regrets… I'm just trash."
Lady Tsunade seemed to be broken in front of her. Tsubane wanted to shout that she was wrong, but what did she know about the Sannin's life?
"I don't believe you are trash. We all have our issues that we don't talk about. And I never asked you not to drink, so don't be this hard on yourself." Lady Tsunade looked so vulnerable, Tsubane didn't know how to react. She wanted to reassure the woman that she was fine. "Why do you say you owed me something? We only met four days ago, other than when I was a baby. Did you make me a promise when Shizune brought me here or something?"
Tsunade took a deep breath. Seemed like she was talking but shook her head. Then emptied the sake in one go.
"I lied to you. We all lied to you. I thought I just wanted to get to know you, but I can't look you in the eyes without thinking of those lies."
Tsubane wanted to cross her arms, or leave, but if Lady Tsunade was to tell her the truth, she preferred staying. She suddenly felt scared. When did they lie? For what? And if they did, was it because the truth hurt even more?
"What about? Is this about Arashi, or my childhood?"
Tears fell down the woman's eyes. Tsubane could see she was trying to resist the urge to slam the table. Instead, Tsunade choked on the words, "I messed up your childhood, and I think I know why you have wood release even though it was never seen in generations. Your great-grandfather is the first Hokage, Hashirama. Your great-grandmother is an Uzumaki. You should have been called Senju, kid."
It took a little time for Tsubane to register the news. Her family had founded Konoha. "Am I born here? Are we cousins or something?"
"No. You're born in a village I don't even remember. We're not cousins, I… I'm sorry, I can't tell you, I don't want to break you like I'm broken."
The woman's lips were shaking. Tsubane suddenly had that thought. Shizune brought her into Konoha. She traveled with Tsunade, who did not remember where she was from, but clearly was trying to lie about not remembering her days ago, and acting strange since. Tsubane started counting the years. Tsunade would have been nearly forty when Tsubane was born. It was still possible. Thus why the Sannin felt she owed Tsubane something.
"You're my mother, aren't you?"
She didn't know if she wanted to scream of rage or if she was happy about it. She had idolized the Sannin, so technically, it shouldn't hurt, but seeing how emotionally messed up the woman seemed to be, and how she was lied to all her life, she felt a ball form into her throat. Her mother was maybe there, just in front of her. She just needed Tsunade to confirm or deny.