Ungh. Fuck. Bob really knocked the lights out of me. Hm? Why do I feel a breeze like I'm outside? I open my eyes and I see the greenery of the trees swaying by the wind. "Did he drag me out?" I feel something warm under me. I look down to find I'm on top of a child! I immediately stand up. "Are you okay!?" I flip them over, only to recoil in surprise. The child is actually Luka from the games! "Oooh. Very funny guys. You almost got me good." I laugh. Wow! It's crazy they found a mannequin that looks like him. They even got his iconic attires. It's too…lifelike. Then it dawns on me. I never told anyone I've played the games. And the last time I even touched them was when I finished Chapter Three back in twenty fourteen. I check for his pulse. There's life! "Oh no. This is getting too real." Did Bob knock me out so bad, that I'm lucid dreaming?
I hear a rustling sound from behind me. I turn and there's a Slime Girl! "Huh? I thought I heard something fall from the sky. Was it you?" I'm in complete shock. To think that my brain could make something so hyper realistic. I can peer through her because she's slightly transparent. Her curiosity turns into a sensual expression. "It seems you fell from heaven. After all, your red hair is out of this world. Want to become my husband?" She takes a step forward.
Heh. You know what? Maybe this was a blessing in disguise. I can finally live out my fantasy. And that's beating the shit out these horny bitches! "Sorry, but if you want to put a ring on it, you're going to have to earn it." I crack my knuckles as I get into my boxing stance.
Slime Girl
She lunges at me, but I sidestep and throw a right hook to her face. Due to her biology, it feels like I'm hitting a gelatin. She seems confused, but I keep on the offensive by repeatedly punching her face. One of my fists gets stuck on her jaw. Her slime is enveloping my arm! Thinking fast, I plunge my other arm in her abdomen and grab her core. She freezes and I can see the horror in her eyes. I figured this was their weakness. This must be what holds them together. We are at a standstill, since she knows what'll happen if she does anything funny.
"So listen up, you let me go and then we can go our separate ways unharmed." She releases my arm and as a man of my word, I do so too. I back away from her.
"You're a meanie!" She pouts before leaving.
That was fun! It felt so realistic too. And what did she mean that I fell from Heaven? If that's the case, then that explains why Luka is knocked out. If it wasn't for his angel side giving him more durability, he would've been dead. This may be fake, but I would feel bad if I left him here. I pick him up and follow the footsteps where I assume is the village.
I arrive at Ilias Village and my god is my brain really good at making up the details. The church is there in all its white marble Christian glory. Or maybe catholic? It's religious, so it makes no difference. The villagers are wearing their old school clothes. I guess my mind is using references from medieval Britain since there are no portraits of the common people to know what they wore for the most part.
I try not to step out and be recognized. Silly I know, but I can't be too careful how they would react to my presence. Especially holding an unconscious boy. So I walk across the edge, until nearing a wooden house which I assume is his home. I hope the back window is open. And it is! He is too trusting. I get inside his room and carefully lay him on his bed. His bedroom is pretty simple. My kind of style too. Although I would have my TV and PS4.
There's noise coming from the kitchen. That's strange. Seeing how grown Luka is, he should be living alone at this point. I slowly open to peek. No fucking way! It's Alice! This must be the point where Luka was supposed to come back and meet her. I step out and she turns to face me. I can see her features in clarity and it looks way better than…well I'm imagining it right now.
"Who are you?" She asks, breaking my thoughts.
"I'm Ariel. It's an honor to meet you, Alipheese Fateburn XVI." I bow.
She is taken aback. "How did you know who I am?"
"I would assume everyone would know who the Monster Lord is."
She eyes me suspiciously. "You don't look like you are from around here."
Shit. I shouldn't worry about this, but this is my first lucid dream, so I should play along. "I hail from a distant island. It's not well known, so I understand the confusion." As expected, she still isn't buying it. Not like the truth would make it much better. "What are you doing here? As far as I know, this isn't your house." She doesn't respond, instead shoots a glare with those amber eyes. This isn't the sweet Alice yet. Better choose my next words carefully. "Are you perhaps looking for a hero?" Her eyes widened in surprise. I keep going. "Well lucky for you, I plan on becoming the top hero in the world."
"Really?" She sniffs the air. "You're not baptized."
"Hah! Baptism is for the weak. A real hero takes on any challenge in their way, regardless of their status." I show off my quick punches and footwork. "Anyways, are you hungry? I can make something for us real quick."
Any suspicion she had on me, quickly dissipates. She's so easy to please. "Since you insist, I will accept your offer." I roll my eyes endearingly, as I grab eggs and veggies from the counter.
I add some oil to the pan, then throw the chopped vegetables to saute them as I beat the eggs. After the veggies are nicely cooked, I pour the eggs and make them scrambled. Add a dash of salt and viola! Perfectly good breakfast full of protein and nutrients. I serve for the both of us, while leaving some for Luka when he eventually wakes up. As soon as I give her the plate, she wastes no time digging in. "Sheesh. At least take the time to savor it." I laugh. It's so typical of her. I eat the food, but I notice Alice analyzing me.
"Are you related to the child that resides here?" She asks.
"Yes. He is my distant cousin. I wanted to surprise him with my visit, but I found him unconscious in the middle of the woods. Why? Do you know him?" I'm obviously aware of the answer. But it's entertaining roleplaying as his family.
She huffs. "Hardly. We've only come across once. He was spouting nonsense about monsters and humans coexisting."
"Is there something wrong with that?"
She scowls at me. "Another fool. Must run in the family." Ouch. She really knows where to strike a nerve.
"I mean we're having a meal together and having a conversation. The only difference between us is our biology."
She looks away. "A foolish aspiration. Monsters and humans have been fighting for centuries. Thanks to that ugly Goddess."
"Just because it seems impossible, doesn't mean we can't at least try. Trust me. We had our own history of conflicts as well. But there were some who strived for a better future. It's unfortunately a slow progress, as there are people trying to undo their achievements. It's a never ending battle, but worth fighting for." It seems weird that I'm having this topic with her, but it parallels well from my world. Besides, I know she secretly wants that future. She's just finding a reason.
She thinks for a moment. "Then you're willing to fight me for that future?" Ah. I remember that she wants to keep the cycle of the Hero defeating the Lord trope going.
I shake my head. "Look, I know I'm pretty confident in my strength, but there's no way I can defeat you. I'll be honest, I don't even think that would be realistically possible. I'm purely human. Not a Nephilim." That's what Luka is, right? A child of an angel and a human.
She smirks. "Then that needs to be changed. I was interested in that boy, but you've proven to have better potential. We shall travel throughout the lands and increase your power. How does that sound?"
I jump with excitement! "Yes! I can't wait to trade blows with you!"
"Then it's settled. Pack the things for the both of us and we'll be on our way." She leaves the house.
Oh man. Talk about a dream come true! Sorry Luka, but this is now Velazco's Bizarre Adventure! Now to get ready. I should conjure up some camping gear. Just focus…hmm. Maybe I need to concentrate harder. MMMMNNNNHHH….nothing. Guess it would've been too easy. I hope he doesn't mind me borrowing his stuff. I go to his room to grab the brown backpack he kept in the closet and gather all the necessary camping gear he was going to use. Still feel bad about doing this, but whatever! This is my moment! I leave through the window and rush towards the meeting spot.
Alice is waiting at the outskirts of the town. "About time you got here. You took so long that I'm hungry again."
"Come on, Alice. It's only been a couple minutes. We have to ration our supplies so we can properly restock at Iliasburgh." I take a look at the comfortable orange glow of the sunset.
She sighs. "Fine. But you better make it up like you did earlier." Man. This is going to be so annoying, so fast. I can't wait till she starts opening up. We make our way on the dirt path. Wait…is that a Slug Girl up ahead?
"A traveler? And unbaptized? You smell delicious." She lifts up her skirt, revealing the pink slug flesh. I know Alice is hiding somewhere, so I don't bother checking.
I set the backpack down. "Just a heads up, you better be ready to fight for your life. Cause the only way you're getting my babies, is through my cold body."
Yakuza 0 - Force Addiction
Slug Girl
Boxer Form
Ariel's primary battle stance. Focusing more on agility and using the momentum of his footwork to empower his fists.
That's what I imagine the tutorial to be if this was a game. Fuck that turn based shit. They have to earn their hits!
She flings her slime at me, which I dodge with ease. She keeps throwing, as I keep evading and take a step forward. Finally closing the gap, she tries to go for a sexual attack. Unfortunately for her, she leaves her face defenseless. Jab jab! Left hook! And the finishing uppercut! She recoils backwards. Keeping on the offense, I punch her chest then her gut to increase her fatigue. She is gasping for air. I'm about to do what's called a 'Pro Gamer Move' and unleash a Superman Punch to her face, shattering her nose and a couple of teeth.
K.O!
"WOOOO!! And the crowd goes wild!" I imagine myself being in the ring, as the audience chants my name.
"Are you done?" I'm brought back to this reality with Alice standing in front with backpack in hand.
"Yeah. I bet I looked cool, huh?" I flex my arm to show my pride and joy.
"I hardly would consider beating a low level monster to a bloody pulp something to be proud of." Oof! She throws the pack at me with a strong force to my chest, but I still catch it. "Stop wasting time and let's go." She slithers on.
"At least I can hold on my own." I grumble to myself. Luka would have wasted his salt to win. She must've heard me, cause she stops on her track.
"You are pretty strong, but did you really have to attack like a brute?"
"A brute!? If I didn't go all out, I would've been raped and you'd have left me behind!"
"Yeah. What did you expect? I'm not your companion or ally. I'm just observing you."
"Oho. The great Monster Lord needs observation. Maybe if you started acting more than watching, you would get shit done!"
She now gets angry. "Watch your tongue! You don't know anything about what I do and my intentions. So I suggest you best be quiet or you'll be my dinner for tonight."
"Ooooh. I'm so scared! Look at me shaking in fear. You should be grateful I'm here to speedrun this story."
"The only thing I'll 'speedrun' is how fast I can drain your balls dry!" Eugh! The tip of her tail opens up, revealing a blue flesh meant to extract semen.
"Fine! You wanna go? Lets fucking go!"
Yakuza: Like a Dragon - Cold-Blooded
Monster Lord
Alipheese Fateburn XVI
She lunges her tail at me, but I duck and rush towards her. She tries to sweep my legs and I jump over to keep the momentum. Once I reach her, I throw a straight jab. She grabs my fist with no effort. I throw another with my free arm, but she grabs it as well, holding me in place. I see from behind that she's ready to coil me. Thinking fast, I use her bottom part to propel myself and headbutt her face. She collapses on the ground, as I fall on my back. We're both groaning from the pain.
However, all that effort was for naught, as I'm getting wrapped tightly by her tail. I freeze up seeing the absolute furious expression that I've never seen before. She winds up her right arm to basically make me a Dullahan, except I'll be dead! She throws her fist and my life flashes before me. My dad is sleeping in the hospital doing chemotherapy. The reason I took up boxing is to win and pay for his treatment.
She stops with her fist being only centimeters away from my face. She takes a massive deep breath. "I was this close to ending this headache. But then I remembered you are good for one thing. So I expect a five course meal, if you want to keep your life." She releases me and moves on. The reality is sinking in as I grab the backpack.
This isn't a dream.