A.N. The following is a nonprofit fan fiction. Teen Titans is owned by DC Comics. Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss are owned by YouTuber Vivziepop. Please support the official release.
This is a fic I did on AO3. Please, do give me honest reviews too. Unlike Hollywood, I can handle criticism. If there's something you didn't like about this, don't hesitate to tell me. Tell me what worked and what didn't work. It's the only way I can improve. Even though this is just something I'm writing for fun, I hope you all will enjoy it too.
Summary: Garfield Logan has committed murder. Almost immediately, he is killed in retaliation by the daughter of the man he slew. For his sin, he is sent to hell, where he finds himself working at the Hazbin Hotel.
– – –
Chapter One: Fallen Hero
Somewhere in Jump City
"Well … you did it, boy." Slade told Beast Boy. "You caught me." He mockingly said. He was all battered up. His armor was torn. He had bloody cuts all over. And he was laying on the floor, barely able to move, while Beast Boy, who was also in pretty bad shape, but could still stand, was glaring down at him. "You did what not ever Robin could do. Congratulation. Now then, shall we go to jail? Like that'll make a difference." To his surprise, Beast Boy just bent over and picked up Slade's sword. "What're you doing?" He asked. Beast Boy stumbled over to Slade. "You wouldn't." The assassin said, but when he saw the crazed expression in Garfield's eyes, he knew he wasn't fooling around. "Wait," Slade said, getting worried. "Wait" He repeated and then Garfield raised the sword. "Wait!" Slade cried out as he tried getting up, but his injuries prevented.
Garfield lets out a cry as he brought down the sword, digging it into Slade's skull. His blood splattered onto Garfield's angered face. His expression however went from angry to shock and realization. He let go of the sword, which was stuck onto Slade's skull. Garfield brought his hand to his mouth as if he was about to vomit. Which he did, out of disgust for himself. His ears started ringing, feeling guilt wash over him. He then turned around, not knowing what to do now, but stopped when he saw a young woman with white hair standing before her … She had a gun aimed at him and tears in her eyes.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
Three shots in his chest, and Garfield was on the floor. The last thing he saw was the light on the ceiling and then everything went black …
– – –
… Or so he expected when he hit the floor. Not that he would continue falling. He suddenly felt heat on his back. He looked behind him and saw fire where he was heading.
"Fuck," He hissed.
He went through the fires, getting scorched alive. The pain was far worse than anything he had ever felt before. He screamed in uncontrollable agony as his skin melted and his flesh scorched. He then fell out of the flames, his human body now burnt to a crisp, but he was still alive. New flesh started to engulf his bones and he received a new form. A demon form. He was still green. But now he looked demonic, his pointy ears longer, razor sharp teeth in place of his previous flat human teeth, spikes sticking out of his shoulders, a tail with an arrow tip at the end, and claws on his fingers and toes as well as fur on his forearms and the shins of his legs. His eyes also changed, with the whites now yellow and the irises red. He kept falling and saw a land mass beneath him. Eventually, he saw a city, which was under fire.
He hit the concrete floor with a thud. He heard screaming and people dying. He rose his head and saw to his horror that the people were being slaughtered mercilessly by creatures who looked like demonic angels.
"Oh shit!" He cried out and jumped to his feet. He knew fully well where he was. Where else would this be? He narrowly avoided the sight of these demonic angels and saw a sewer drain. He went straight towards it and luckily for him, his shapeshifting powers still worked, as he turned into a rat. However, he didn't look like an ordinary rat, as it had four eyes, spikes on it's back and tail tip, as well as deformed teeth sticking out from the mouth. He managed to get into the drain and into the sewers … and he almost wished he had taken his chances on the surface. This sewer smelled worse than any sewer Earth ever had. The stench was absolutely horrid, beyond description. Garfield could feel his sinuses burning. He almost fainted. Guess he shouldn't expect anything less from a hell sewer. Well, at least he was safe … How naive that was of him.
A spear went through the ceiling and nearly cut him.
"Eek!" He cried out and sprinted further down the sewer. More spears dug through the ceiling, narrowly hitting him. Guns were also fired upon him. It was only through sheer luck that he survived each assault. He turned into a cheetah. His new cheetah form was also demonic. Eye that glowed jaded with no pupils, rugged fur, spikes coming out of the back and the side of his legs. But most notable was his speed was greater than before. He has never sprinted this fast before. And he left a trial of fire behind, boiling the sewer water as he ran. He was so surprised by his new speed, he didn't have time to react in time and stop before he hit the concrete wall at the end.
He smashed right through it and blasted his way through the other side. He dug his way out of a pile of bricks, feeling dizzy. He stood up and let out a shriek when he looked at the hole he made. He narrowly dodged a spear that went his way. The demonic angel was onto him. He quickly looked around and saw another drain. He turned into a snake and went through just when the demonic angel narrowly grabbed his tail.
Next, Garfield found himself in a pipe that lead him who knows where. But he followed the stream. It lead out into a lake of sewer water. He reemerged from the water in demon form, spiting the disgusting fluid out of his mouth.
"Nasty," He hissed in disgust. "At least I think I'm safe now."
SPLASH!
A large demon landed besides him. It was dead. He looked up and saw another one of those demonic angels. It spotted him, giving him that wicked grin each one of those angels had. It descended upon him as he tried running again, only to get stepped on by the angel. It brought down the spear upon Garfield's neck, only to stop just as it was poking Gar's neck. It burnt like crazy. The reason for the halt was the sound of bells. Garfield felt the foot being lifted from his back. Turned around and saw his attacker retreating. It expanded it's wings and took to the air. Gar looked around him and saw the same was happening all around, thousands of those things leaving the city. Then there was fireworks as the final bell rang. Garfield had no idea what just happened. But he was just relieved he was alive … or undead, or whatever you could call it now. Not that it mattered. He has ended up in hell …
/
Garfield went back into the city and bore witness to the aftermath of the carnage that just happened. Demons of different shapes, forms and sizes picking up bodies. Some were eating the bodies. He decided to just ask someone what had just happened.
"Excuse me," He said to a demon who looked like a humanoid jackal. The demon just spun around with a shotgun raised, growling at Gar. He just raised his hands in defense and backed away slowly.
He walked down the streets with his hands in his pocket. What was he to do now? This was his new life. A demon in hell. From the looks of things, this was a place were only the strong and brutal thrives. Guess if he want to survive he has to become like them too.
"Hey cutie," Someone said. A female demon with three eyes, one very large and two smaller ones. The large one covered the entire half of her face. "You're new here, aren't you? Looking to make a friend?" She asked. "We could all use friends here. I can be a friend of yours." She said and reached out to touch Garfield. He just kicked her into an ally and continued walking. "Up yours! You fucking prude!" The domeness cried out, giving him the finger.
Garfield figured he'll have to deal with worse in the future. But at least for now, he could take a breather … Or so he thought.
KABOOM!
"Fuck!" He cried out as he was sent flying by the explosion. He looked up and saw a blip hovering over the city. There was more explosions followed by gunfire. He jumped through a broken window into a building for cover. Perked his head up and saw demons engaging one another in the streets.
"Fuck of, you dickhead!" One demon on one said spat. He, like his buddies, were dressed like a modern street punk. "This part of Pentagram belongs to The Cribs now!"
"Hell no!" A demon on the other side cried out. He and his lackeys were dressed in fancy suits and tie, complete with a mobster hat. "We're claiming this area in Al Capone's name! Piss of if you know what's good for ya!" He warned and kept firing his Tommy gun at them.
Garfield started crawling away. 'The Cribs and Al Capone?' He thought. 'Why am I surprised? Where else would they go but Hell?' He asked himself. There was another explosion which he was nearly caught in.
Garfield jumped out of the building and into an ally way. He pressed his back against the wall, panting heavily.
/
Garfield strolled down the streets. So far his first few hours in hell has been nothing but a massive struggle of survival. It would be dark soon he noticed. Surprised hell even has day and night. Regardless, hell is already plenty enough of a hazard during the day. He doesn't even wanna think about how bad it is during the night. He needed to find somewhere to spend the night. He does not trust sleeping outdoors during the evening in hell. No sir-ree. He saw a TV shop with several sinners in front of the window watching a news broadcast. He decided to head on over and get to know his new home a little better.
On screen was a news anchor woman, white as a sheet of paper, and her head nearly falling of, like that ghost from Harry Potter.
"So," The anchor woman began, addressing a much younger looking woman who was sitting next to her. Unlike the anchor woman, she was adorable looking, with red cheeks. "Charlotte."
"Its Charlie," The younger one said.
"Whatever," The anchor woman rudely said. Garfield noticed on the TV screen that said 'Katie Killjoy' spelling her name.
As he watched on, Garfield realized she was Lucifer's daughter. Which was surprising when she displayed being a bubbly and kindred person. Not at all what you'd expect from the spawn of the devil. She was talking about her passion project. A hotel that rehabilitates demons. Namely sinners, which would in theory send them to heaven, in order to put an end to what is called the Extermination that they just endured. Garfield can only guess that that is what he just experienced. When no one was taking her seriously, as predicted, she started … singing.
"I have a dream, I'm her to tell." She started. "About a wonderful, fantastic new hotel. Yes it's one of a kind, right her in hell. Catering to specific clientele."
Garfield leaned into the demon next to him and asked, "Is she really the daughter of Lucifer, or a Disney princess?"
"Even a Disney princess has more awareness than this bitch," Answered the demon.
As the song continued there was one part in the lyrics that made Garfield shiver.
"So all you junkies, freaks and weirdos. Creepers, fuck-ups, crooks and zeroes. And downfallen superheroes, hope is here!"
That part hit Garfield like a kick to the scrotum. 'Well that's just too convenient,' He thought.
Once the song was over, one guy over at the studio said what most people were thinking.
"Wow … that was shit."
Then there was laughter. Charlie ended up being ridiculed on live TV for her plans and her song. Until she brought up one of her residents having shown progress … until said resident, Angel Dust, was shown on TV taking part in a turf war with his buddy, Cherri Bomb, against the same blimp that nearly killed Garfield earlier. After some more insults, Charlie eventually started a fight with the journalist, which resulted in one guy getting lit on fire.
"What a dumb broad." Said one the demons next to Gar.
"Least she's good for a laugh." Replied another.
Garfield on the other hand wasn't as amused. "Hey," He turned to the other demons. "Any of you know where I can find this hotel of hers?" He asked.
"Why?" The other demon asked with an annoyed expression.
"Just answer the question," Garfield retorted.
"Sure. Just suck my dick and I'll tell ya," The demon replied and there was laughter. Garfield didn't take too kindly to that and went T-Rex form. Like his previous forms, his Rex form was bigger and demonic by appearance. . The other demons flinched. "Okay! Okay. Take it easy kid." He said, sweating. "I think it's located in the Dante's Inferno District." Garfield sneered at the demon, who then pointed in another direction. "That way," He quickly added.
Garfield reverted back to normal and said, "Dante's Inferno District? Why do I get the feeling that Biblical themes will be a thing down here?" He wondered, dryly.
One of the great things about him still having his powers, he didn't need to get a cab or anything. After all, he had no money. Sad news is, he's been traveling for hours, but he hadn't reached his destination yet. Not only did this city appear to be much, much larger than he thought. But there was also the fact that the skies were littered with monsters who saw him as potential prey.
"Fuck!" He cried out as he was almost eaten by a wayvern. He had taken cover inside an abandoned building. "Am I flying in circles or something?! How much further is this hotel?" He wonder and got back outside and on the roof. He looked around him and he now noticed that Pentagram was stretching as far as the eye could go. Obviously this city was enormous. "Well, I'm fucked." He commented. But then he noticed in the distance, a building that said 'Happy Hotel.' "Or not," He said and smiled with relief.
However, when he got closer, the was an explosion near the hotel. A large one. He hesitantly continued approaching. But then there was a bolt of lightning and suddenly the large sign on the building read 'Hazbin Hotel.'
"… I'm worried," The former Teen Titan commented, but continued. He should at least try and figure out what was going on.
When he got there, he found a strange sight. Well, everything about this place was strange. But there was a crater, obviously from the explosion from before. But there was also dead things. Dead egg men of some sort. Some were still alive. Then out of the hole appeared a snake demon of some kind, pulling himself out of the crater. How he had survived was Garfield's guess.
"Now will you shoot me with your ray gun?" One of the egg creatures asked with hope. The snake demon only rolled his eyes and dropped his face onto the asphalt.
Garfield walked past them, carefully stepping over the scrambled eggs. He reached the front door of the hotel, sighed and then knocked.
And suddenly, the doors flung open and a crazy grayish colored woman stood before Garfield pointing a spear at him. "Eek!" He cried out, raising his hands.
"Who're you? Are you one of Alastor's buddies?" The woman asked.
"Who?" Garfield asked. "Look, lady, I'm really not in the mood. Is this Princess Charlie's Happy Hotel?"
"Well yeah. Didn't you read the sign?" The gray woman replied.
"It did say Happy Hotel. But then it was suddenly changed to Hazbin Hotel," Garfield replied.
"What?!" The woman cried out and rushed outside to look up at the sign. "Who did that?!"
"Oh, that was me." A strange looking man said, stepping out of the building. He sported a red stripped suit, was tall and lanky, his hair was shaped to look like deer ears, he had tiny antlers sticking out from his head. But most notably was his wide smile, which showed his razor sharp teeth. "I thought this establishment could use an upgrade." What stood out more was that he sounded like a radio while talking.
"Hey, this is not your hotel!" The woman spat back. "Change it back." She demanded.
"Hm… nope." The radio demon replied and returned back into the hotel.
The woman could only glare at him. Garfield walked over to him. "So..." He started. "I'm kinda new here and I'm looking for a job. Any positions open?" He asked.
/
After some explanation, Garfield was introduced to the princess of hell.
"Oh my gosh!" She cried out excitingly. "Welcome to the Happy Hotel! You are going to love it here!" She said, getting up close Garfield's face, eyes sparkling with stars, and extending her hand to shake his.
"Thanks," Garfield replied, awkwardly, taking Charlie's hand in his. "Are you really the devil's daughter? I expected someone a bit more … you know, not so jumpy and happy go lucky."
"Not all demons in hell are heartless monsters," The grayish woman from before said, arms crossed.
"Oh, let me introduce you to everyone," Charlie said. "You've already met my girlfriend, Vaggie." She gestured to the gray skinned woman.
"You remind me of a buddy of mine back on earth. Same grayish skin and charming smile," Garfield said, jokingly, all the while Vaggie had a grim expression her face.
Charlie went on. "And this here is our first resident, Angel Dust." She introduced him to the tallest patron. A four armed guy with white fur and a stripped suit complete with a bow tie.
"Why, hello there, cutie pie." Angel Dust said, flirtatious, getting too close to Garfield's personal space.
"Sorry, I'm straight." He told the porn star.
"Are you sure about that?" Angel asked with a seductive grin.
"Very sure," Garfield retorted, pushing him away.
"And this is one of our new employees, Husker." Charlie went on, introducing Gar to a cat demon with red wings a black hat and cheap booze in his right hand.
"It's Husk," The cat growled in annoyance, before taking a large zip from his bottle.
"And over here we have-" Before Charlie can finish, a tiny female cyclops interrupts her.
"Hi! I'm Nifty!" She said, cheerfully. "Another friend all in one day. What a lucky gurl I am." She said with a deranged smile on her face, which soon turned into distraught. "Why are you a woman though?" She asked. Before Garfield could say anything though, she picked him up, showing unusual strength for her tiny frame. "Did you bring a man friend with you?!" She frantically asked and put him down. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be asking you that."
"… Right ..." Garfield awkwardly said.
"And finally, we have-" Once again, Charlie gets interrupted.
"Alastor! Pleasure be meeting you!" The guy in the red suit introduced himself, taking Garfield's hand, shaking it, against his will. "This is quite a surprise. Only five minutes on the job, and already attracting new patrons to this hotel. I must be a real people person."
"I don't feel safe with him," Garfield told Charlie.
"Good. Then you're not insane." Vaggie replied. "So what were you sent down here for?" She asked.
"Murder," Garfield replied, shamefully. "Killed the man who cost me the first girl I ever loved. It wasn't in self defense or anything. He was already beaten. I had him at my mercy and my rage got the better of me. Throughout my childhood I dedicated my life towards helping people. And yet I still get sent down here, after one measly massacre propelled by blind rage, I get sent down here with all the Hitlers and Weinsteins of the world." He annoyingly said.
"Well, that's tough titties." Angel Dust replied.
"Wait, what kind of profession did you have before being sent here?" Charlie asked.
Garfield turned to the princess. "I was a superhero." He revealed, and then there was silence. Until Angel Dust broke the silence.
"If you were a superhero, then how come you're not wearing your undies on the outside?" He jokingly asked.
"Just because that's Superman's style, doesn't mean every hero dress like that!" Garfield spat.
/
Later, Charlie took Garfield to one of the hotel room. "Here. Sorry about the mess. We haven't had a chance to clean the whole building yet."
"I actually like it. Reminds me of my own room back with the living," He said looking at the mess.
"Well, feel free to decorate it however you like." She said and then handed him over a piece of paper. "You could also use this." She said, handing it over to him.
"What is this?" He asked, reading the weird text and symbols. "Some kind of magic spell to thwart of evil spirits or something?"
"Our wifi password," She said, pointing her thumb at the laptop on the desk in the room. "We're not savages." She said before exiting the room.
After Garfield had settled in, the first thing he did was log in and see if it was possible to get a connection to Earth. Low and behold, that was possible. He read the news in Jump City, with the article reading 'Slade Dead: But With a Heavy Price.' showing a picture of both Slade and Beast Boy. Obviously, the public didn't seem to know he was the one who delivered the killing blow. He saw a picture of his friends in the background, all of them in tears. Some jackass must've taken the picture when they weren't looking. His hand was shaking as he brought it to the screen. His eyes started to water up a bit.
But then there was a knock on the door. He quickly shut the laptop and whipped his tears. "Come in!" He cried out, louder than he intended.
"Hey," Charlie said, sticking her head inside, giving him a smile. "Thought you could uses something." She said, stepping inside, showing she was carrying a large bunch of stuffed animals and plushies, that she dropped on the floor. "The first few nights in Hell can be a bit … tense for most sinners. I was thinking sleeping with these would ease the tension." She suggested.
"Thanks. But I'm not a little kid." Garfield said.
"Well, I'll leave them here in case you change your mind." Charlie said. "Breakfast's at eight. Good night. Don't let the bedbugs bite." She said, exiting the room. Then she stuck her head back in and said, "Seriously, they can drain your soul in seconds."
Garfield looked disturbed and then look back at the pile of stuffed animals. They all looked surprisingly cute for Hell's taste. He eventually went to bed but found himself just laying there, staring up at the ceiling. And it wasn't just the sound of machine guns and explosions outdoors that kept him awake. He was in Hell. How can anyone find any comfort after ending up where he is now.
"Sleep, damn you." He told himself. He then looked at the stuffed animals on the floor. He sighed. "Can't believe I'm doing this." He said and took one of the plushies and laid down with it. "… This is kinda comforting actually." He noticed the name tag on the plushie's collar. 'Ellie.' "Goodnight, Ellie." He said, humorously and went to sleep.
/
In the bedroom Charlie was sharing with Vaggie, the princess entered to find her lover sitting on their queen sized bed.
"So, how's or resident fallen hero settling in?" Vaggie asked.
"I gave him some of my plushies for comfort. First night in Hell is always the worst for most sinners." Charlie said.
"Yeah. I'll never forget my fist night…" Vaggie said with a distant stare.
"But can you believe it?" Charlie said, jumping onto the bed. "A fallen hero in the hotel! Just imagine what he can do for us!"
"Don't get too excited," Vaggie told her. "He may be a hero. But he was sent down here for a reason."
"Oh, you're always so pessimistic." Charlie said.
"More like realistic," Vaggie retorted. "Sweetie, don't let all of this get to your head like it did at the interview."
"Right," Charlie replied. "I think I may have rushed things with the interview. Think maybe we should take things slow from now on."
"Yeah," Vaggie agreed. "Something this big takes time to grow."
"Like what we have." Charlie said, hugging her girlfriend from behind and started kissing her neck.
Vaggie chuckled. "Stop it. You know I can't resist you when you do that."
"Well, what a coincidence. I can't resist you." She said and pulled her down to the bed as they started to make out.
/
Chapter Two:
Morning came. Or whatever qualifies as morning in Hell. Garfield woke up with a start and looked around in panic and confusion until he remembered. "That's right," He said, rubbing his head. "I died and went ta hell." He dryly said before getting up. Then there was a knock on the door.
"Garfield," He heard Vaggie's voice. "Better get up or there won't be any food left on the breakfast table."
"I'm coming. I'm coming." He told her, putting his pants on. Once fully dressed, he met Vaggie out in the hallway.
"How was your first night in hell?" She asked.
"Sounded like a war zone out there," He commented.
"You'll get used to it," She replied and lead him to the kitchen.
"So how long have you been here?" He asked.
"Since 2014," Vaggie replied. "Don't worry. I'll show you the ropes around this place. Literally, you got all the time in the world."
"Great," Garfield dryly replied.
"First and foremost, Hell is divided into seven levels. Seven rings. They each represents the seven deadly sins. We're in the Pride Ring. The highest and largest ring. You don't need to worry about the other six rings because sinners cannot travel beyond Pride." She informed him.
"What? Why?" Garfield asked with a curious look.
As they made it to the kitchen, where everyone else were seated, Vaggie finished her explanation. "That's why sinners cannot travel beyond Pride." She said.
"Oh." Garfield said, nodding in understandment.
"Good morning, Garfield!" Charlie happily said. "Did you sleep well?"
"Sure. I mean as well as you can in Hell. It sounded like a war zone outside." Garfield said.
"Get used to it, kid." Husk said, drinking whiskey for breakfast. "Wars are as common down here as sex diseases."
"Duly noted," He said and took a seat at the table.
"What would you like, Gar?" Charlie asked. "We don't have much on the count of being low on budget."
"If you have any almond milk, I'm fine with cereal." Garfield replied.
"You got it," Charlie replied, getting him what he wants.
"Surprised that Hell still has vegetarian options," Garfield commented as he poured himself a bowl of cereal and almond milk. "I expected there would only be meat."
"Yeah, well, most people like both options. That's why it is possible to grow plant based foods." Vaggie replied.
"Maybe my eternity in Hell won't be all bad then," Garfield replied and brought the spoon of cereal and almond milk to his mouth … and then he grimaced and opened his mouth as in place cereal and almond milk was now a meaty stew. "What the fuck?" He cried out and looked down at his bowl, where there once was cereal and almond milk was now a bowl of meaty stew. "What the FUCK?!" He cried out.
"Ah, you wouldn't happen to have been a vegan in life, were you?" Charlie asked.
"Yeah," Gar replied.
"That explains it," Charlie said. "A Sinner who was a vegan in life usually has any vegetables or fruit they put in their mouth instantly turn into meat as part of their eternal punishment."
Garfield gave her an incredulous look and cried out. "Oh come on!" He leaned back at his chair, put his hand to her eyes, groaning.
"Wow. That must really sting." Angel Dust said with a grin.
"You have no idea," Garfield told him. "I wasn't a vegan because of the reason most other people are. Not out of health reason. Humans needs both meat and vegetables. And it sure as hell wasn't to be an animal friend. Animals are asshole!"
"Then why were you a vegan?" Angel Dust asked.
Garfield paused for a minute before giving a reply. "… Well, you know I said I was a superhero? I have the power to turn into any animal on Earth." He revealed.
Angel Dust was awe strucked. "No way." He said, stars in his eyes. "So you can turn into literally any animal?"
"Living and extinct," He said. "Point is, having that power, eating meat feels like cannibalism to me."
"So what you're saying is…?" Angel asked, pausing.
"I'm fucked," Garfield finished.
"Well, it's either eating meat, or starving without dying." Charlie told him.
"Believe me kid," Husk said, taking another zip of whiskey. "You do not wanna go on starving. Since we're already dead, we can't die. So you'd just keep on starving until hunger drives ye nuts. There're sinners who resorted to cannibalism after months without food."
"So my choices are either eat meat or go crazy with hunger?" Garfield asked with a hopeless expression.
"Welcome to hell," Angel Dust said, raising a glass for him.
"I'm actually envious of you," Alastor said, as he was having steak for breakfast. "Never had a taste for greens and fruits. Your eternal punishment seems more like a blessing than anything else."
"I'm just gonna go for a walk." Garfield grimly said as he got up and left the room.
"Oh, if only there was some way we could cheer him up." Charlie said with concern.
"Give him time," Vaggie said. "He'll get used to his afterlife eventually, like most sinners do."
"Frankly, I rather enjoyed my afterlife right of the bat." Alastor commented, taking a bit from his steak. "This one sure is a delectable. Put up quite a fight too. I only wish my prey would stop screaming for their mothers whenever I caught them."
"… What now?" Angel asked with a look of concern and disgust.
/
When Garfield said he was going for a walk, he meant taking the train and getting out of Pentagram for a bit. He decided to explore Hell a bit. This was his new home now. Might as well get to know it better. The ride lasted hours before it finally left the capitol. Seriously, how big is this city? The first stop was the neighboring town, Imp City. Garfield decided to jump of here, already tired of the train ride. As he walked down the streets, he noticed a far less diverse selection of demons in this city. Everyone were much shorter and had scarlet red skin. There were a few demons of average height. But mostly there were just short ones. These must be imps Garfield concluded.
Garfield heard his stomach growl. He started to regret having skipped breakfast. He noticed a stand with fruits and vegetables. He bought himself an apple. He looked at the tasty treat, mouth watering, and took a bite, only for the juicy fruit to turn into a chunk of roast beef. "Fuck," He hissed. He tried buying a protein bar, but that turned into a beef jerky. "Fuck!" He growled. Next, he tried a cupcake, which turned into a chicken breast. "FUCK!" He cried out and tossed the chicken breast into an ally, which a homeless person started fighting a stray dog over.
As he continued down the road, he heard singing.
"I walk this empty street, all alone the boulevard of broken dreams." It was teenage sinner playing his guitar and singing for money on the street. Judging by the way he was dressed, he must be from the early 2000. "Where the city sleeps. And I'm the only one. And I walk alone."
The irony of this song being played as Garfield walked down the streets, given his current predicament. It was enough to make him snap. "HEY!" He shouted at the teen, interrupting him. "The early 2000 ain't never coming back! Get over yourself!" He spat and continued storming down the road.
The teen sinner looked down and said, "I know."
As Garfield continued walking, he had a look of guilt in his expression. "Listen to yourself Gar. You just vented your frustration on a kid over nothing." He told himself. "Get a grip man. This isn't you. You never let anything bring you down. So what if you have spend the rest of eternity in Hell? I just gotta make the best of the situation."
But just as he was starting to sound positive…
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"
KICK
A crazy hellhound goth girl came running out of a nearby building and kicked Garfield, sending him flying and smashed right through a window, where a couple was filming a porno.
"What the fuck!?" He cried out, ignoring the shocked couple and jumped out the window. "HEY!" He cried out to the hellhound, who's name was Loona BTW. "Who the hell do you think you are, you crazy bitch?!" He spat, eye twitching.
"Don't you fucking mess with me when I'm blowing some steam, cunt!" Loona growled. "I have the worst hangover right now! And I need to vent!"
"Oh?! Okay! How's this for venting?!" Garfield asked and turned into a T-Rex.
"What the fuck!" Loona cried out, looking petrified at the dino before her.
/
"Sir! You need to do something about Loona, right now!" A small skinny imp told his boss. Moxxie is his name. "She is completely out of control! She lashes out on people for the smallest thing and getting her to do her job is the even more difficult than figuring out a rubix cube!" He complained.
His boss, the tall imp with goat horns, Blitz, gave him a dismissive look. "Oh, hush up. Loona simply had a bad day."
"This is what I'm talking about!" Moxxie pressed on. "You keep giving her leeway just because she's your adopted daughter, when what you should do is discipline her! You're spoiling her sir! You are a bad influence!" He accused.
"Well, excuse me for being a loving father." Blitz told his only male employee. "But how is showering my baby girl with love and affection making me a bad influence? You're just jealous because you don't have kids."
"You're really going there, aren't you sir?" Moxxie said, giving his boss a glare.
"What's the, baby wiener haver? You shooting blanks? Does the salmon swim upstream?" Blitz mockingly asked.
"What?" Moxxie asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I'm calling you sterile, dipshit." Blitz retorted.
"Sir! Loona's behavior around here is completely unacceptable!" Moxxie growled.
"Oh, she's just letting of some steam. Let her vent. She'll be fine." Blitz told him.
"Uh, guys." The second female employee, Millie, said as she was looking out the window. "You might wanna see this."
"Oh. What now?" Blitz asked with an excited expression. "Is another turf war about to start?" He wondered, but when he got to the window he cried out "The FUCK?!"
/
"Let me the fuck down from here! Right now!" Loona shouted, kicking her legs and throwing around her arms as she was hanging from a lamp post by her panties. People around were laughing at the sight.
"That depends," A smug Garfield replied, arms crossed. "You gonna say your sorry?"
"NEVER!" Loona spat at the top of her lungs.
"Suit yourself," Garfield said with a shrug. "Guess you'll be hanging around until your undies rip."
BANG!
The sound of a shotgun was heard and Garfield was sent flying into a hair salon.
"Nobody fucks with my baby girl!" Blitz hissed and turned to look up at Loona. "Loonie," He said with concern. "Are you alright my precious?"
"DON'T FUCKING CALL ME PRECIOUS! AND NO! I'M NOT ALRIGHT! I CAN TASTE MY OWN UNDERWEAR!" Loona shouted at the top of her lungs.
"Well don't worry. We'll have you down in no time." Blitz said.
"Son of bitch!" Garfield growled as he came out of the salon, blood soak. "That hurt like hell. How am I still alive?"
"Uh, you do know you're not alive, right?" Blitz told him. "Did you just die or something?"
"Yesterday, actually." Garfield retorted.
"Well, you're literally already dead. Can't die twice." Blitz said before bringing out a Tommy gun. "Doesn't mean I'm not gonna try." He said and started shooting at Gar.
"Oh man!" Garfield cried out, turning into a cheetah and sprinted away.
"Don't run! Don't run! I wanna be your friend!" Blitz shouted, chasing after Gar.
"Did that guy just turn into an animal?" Moxxie asked.
"What're you fuckers doing!" Loona shouted. "Get me down from here! NOW!" She cried out.
Millie was about to help her, but Moxxie raised his arm, halting her and said. "Not gonna happen."
A baffled Loona looked down on him and said, "Excuse me?"
"Look, I'm in a rare position of power here, okay? So I'm only let you down if you admit you're an incompetent alcoholic screw up."
"WHAT!" Loona cried out, eye twisting.
"I know." A smug Moxxie said. "I know that makes you angry. But-"
Blind with rage, Loona spun around, grabbed hold of her panties and began tearing them apart until she was finally free and fell to the asphalt.
"Oh crumbs," Moxxie said, horrified. Next thing he knew, a pair of fussy hands were strangling him. "You know what?! It's fine! It's fine! You don't have to say it!" The little imp said, struggling in the choke hold.
/
Back at the Hotel
"Where could he be?" Charlie asked, frantically. "Why didn't we give him a phone before he left? What if he's hurt? What if he got into a fight with another demon? He's still so new to how things works down here. He has no idea how to manage."
"Charlie," Vaggie said, snapping her out of it. "He's a superhero. I think he can handle himself. Plus, as a superhero, he'll probably also handle things a lot more rational and mature than most other idiots hell has to offer."
"I hate to be the one to burst ya bubble," Angel Dust said from the couch in front of the TV. "Actually, I love bursting that bubble o yours." He said with a grin. "You should watch this."
On screen was Garfield, fighting Blitz. He took on different animal forms while Blitz tried shooting him, using both guns and rockets.
"… Fuck," Vaggie groaned while Charlie looked defeated.
"And there you have it folks," Katie Killjoy said as she appeared on screen.
"Fuck," Charlie growled at the sight of her nemesis.
"Hell's new local fallen superhero." Katie went on. "Only his second day in the afterlife and already blowing shit up. So what's the deal on this one, Tom?"
"Well, Katie," The Great War vet started. "his name was Beast Boy and it seems he was a member of a hero team called the Teen Titans."
"They actually let little brats fight crime back on Earth?" Katie asked. "No wonder so many people ends up down here. So what got him sent down here?"
"Got his forum right here," Tom said and started reading. "Well fuck. You're not gonna believe this, Katie. This is a doozy. He is partially responsible for the genocide of an entire species."
Back in the Hazbin Hotel, everyone stared at the screen for a few short moments, before crying out "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!" Except for Alastor, who only smiled as usual.
"Are you serious, Tom?" Katie asked.
"Dead serious," Tom replied. "Pun intended." He added, which earned him getting smacked in the head by a baseball bat from Katie. "OW!"
"Oh suck it up, you dickless bitch." Katie growled.
"Right," Tom said and cleared his throat. "As I was saying, Beast Boy assisted in the death of billions of aliens called the Locrix. According to this, he and his teammates were tricked by a bigot into exterminating their whole kind."
"Well, ain't that just the most hilarious thing you've ever heard?" Katie went on. "What a fucking loser. He should be Lucifer's new plaything along with Hitler and Mao-Zedong."
Funnily enough, Lucifer was watching the news from his estate, and he grinned widely as his eyes glowed.
"Well, it says here he also participated in defeating Trigon when he entered Earth a while back." Tom went on. "So his sentence was reduced for his contributing to saving the galaxy from Trigon's reign."
As he said this, the four eyed demon, Trigon, was seen watching this from his corner in hell. He emitted a red aura as he grew furious at this revelation.
"Well, lucky for him." Katie said. "So what's this fight all about?"
"Apparently he gave the imp's hellhound a nasty wedgie," Tom said and revealed a picture of Loona hanging from the lamppost. Moxxie and Millie were also seen on the picture.
Back in the hotel, Angel Dust winced. "That looks really painful."
"She's gonna need a lot of alovera." Husk commented.
"He is not coming back to the hotel," Vaggie said.
"Oh come on, Vaggie. It's not so bad." Charlie said.
"I'm sorry, WHAT?!" Vaggie cried out.
Alastor didn't say much. He just looked intently at the picture on the TV.
/
Meanwhile, Garfield's battle with Blitz was raging on.
"Give my baby girl a wedgie, will you?!" Blitz cried out as he was shooting rockets at Gar, who dodged them in the shape of a cheetah. "I'm gonna make you wear a pair of undies made from barbwire and give you the worst fucking wedgie in history!"
"Sounds mighty painful," Garfield said, taking cover from behind a brick wall. "Look, your daughter attacked me! I was just defending myself!"
"Well, you should've taken it like a bitch then!" Blitz told him and brought out an M134 Minigun. It was powerful enough to destroyed the wall and nearly turn Garfield into a blood soaked swish cheese.
"You maniac!" Garfield cried out and turned into a canary. He dodged Blitz's every shot as he got closer, then turned into a goat and rammed into him, using the momentum of the canary's speed to his advantage. Blitz quickly recovered though and brought out a knife, slashing him across the face. "AH! You fucker!" He cried out and turned into a demonic looking gorilla. He roared and brought down his fists upon the imp, who narrowly dodged it by jumping into the air.
"Seriously! How many forms can you fucking take?!" He cried out, but then the massive gorilla hand grabbed his ankle. "Aw, shit fuck." He said before being pulled. Blitz let out a Wilhelm scream before he was tossed across the streets and into a fence, dampening his landing. "I've just about had it with this shit." He growled as he stood back up. And then he saw Garfield transform into a T-Rex. "Oh-shit-oh-fuck-oh-cock-cunt-cuck!" He Rambled while digging through his backpack while Garfield advanced, letting out the Jurrasic Park T-Rex roar. Blitz pulled out an unusually big rocket launcher that read 'My Dick!' on it. He aimed the cannon straight at Garfield who just halted with a surprised look on his face.
'Crap.' The shapeshifter thought just before Blitz fired a large rocket that read 'Pussy Destroyer' on it, right into Garfield's face, causing a massive explosion that pushed Blitz against the fence from the shockwave.
Once it was over and the smoke cleared, Blitz saw Garfield's body on the floor with his back turned on him. Garfield groaned and struggled to get up on all four. A smug Blitz walked over to him. "Well, well, well." He said. "Learned your lesson, shit face?" He asked, grinning.
Garfield turned his head to glare at the imp, face all blood soaked. "Eat my tail,"He hissed.
"The fuck's that suppose to-?"
Before Blitz had a chance to finish asking that question, a clubbed tail hits him in the face, sending him flying across the fence and into a store. Garfield had taken on the form of a demonic ankylosaurus. He grins and says, "I win, dipshit." He declares before passing out.
/
Garfield wakes up hours later back in the hotel on the couch in the living room. "Aw, fuck." He cried out, holding his aching head.
"Here ya go," Angel Dust said, giving him some pills and a glass of water. "This will kill any pain." He said.
Garfield looked up at the porn star and said, "Thanks." He put the pill inside his mouth and drank the water. Only to get smacked in the back of his head, forcing him to spit it all out. "What the hell?" He cried out, looking at the one who smacked him.
Vaggie didn't heed him any attention. She just glared at Angel Dust. "What is wrong with you?!" She spat. "You almost drugged him!"
"Uh, what?" Garfield said, looking confused.
"What? Those pills will dull any pain in ya body. And your senses." Angel replied, looking innocent.
Garfield groans and slumps down in the couch, putting his pillow over his face. "What a depressing day."
Nifty then enters the room with some tea. "Here, I made you some tea. A good cup of tea will make you feel better than any pill will."
"Thanks, Nifty." Garfield said as he took the cup. He blew the hot brew before taking a zip. "That's a strange taste." He said with a sour expression. "What is it?"
"Oh, it's Earl Grey with lemon and honey." Nifty replied.
"Yeah, I don't taste any lemon or honey." Garfield said.
"Give me that," Vaggie said as she took the cup and sniffed it. "Just as I suspected. Bone broth."
"What?" Garfield said, looking dumbstrucked.
"Your eternal punishment is to have plant based food turned into meat. Same applies with beverages. Looks like tea will turn into broth." Vaggie concluded.
"Aw come on!" Garfield cried out, slumping down. "I can't even enjoy a good fucking drink?! What did I do to deserve this?!" He cried.
"Yeah, about that." Vaggie said, looking down on him with her arms crossed. "We saw what happened on the news."
"Oh no," Garfield groaned.
"What possessed you to give that poor hellhound a wedgie?!" Vaggie spat, earning a chuckled from Angel Dust.
"That was a hilarious image," Angel said.
"Hey, she went gun ho on me first." Garfield said, pulling his pillow away from his face. "Crazy bitch came running out of a building and kicked me into the hemisphere."
"Oh, so that's how it is? Clearly you had no choice but to publicly humiliate her and get into a fight with her boss." Vaggie sarcastically said. "Your fight was broadcast live all throughout Hell."
"Really?" Garfield said, raising his head. "Two days in Hell and already making a reputation for myself."
"Oh, you have no idea." Angel said, sitting besides him. "You genocidal maniac."
"What are you talking about?" Garfield asked, confused.
"Don't try and hide it!" Vaggie spat. "We all heard it on the news! The real reason you were sent down here! You committed planetary genocide!"
"Uh, what now?" Garfield asked.
"The Locrix or whatever they were called." Angel replied.
"Oh, those guys." Garfield said in realization. "Yeah. Some bigot who looks like Captain Atom got us in on a mission to take them out. We were told they were a menace to the galaxy. But they were just machines. So it's not technically genocide, right?" He asked, but only received another death glare form Vaggie. "It does? … Oh."
"Do you have any idea what this will do to the hotel's reputation when people find out you work here?" Vaggie asked. "It's bad enough Alastor works here. But now we have a planetary genocidal killer here as well."
"Gee, thanks for that one." Garfield dryly said. Then he connected the dots. "Oh god. Another gray skinned girls with a temper I share a roof with. I exchanged one hell with the literal hell." He said and laid back down.
Charlie then walks into the room. "Oh hey, Garfield. You're awake." She said. "How are you?" She asked with concern.
"I'm hurting a lot," He said. "But not as much as I did when I passed out."
"We treated your injuries best we could." Charlie replied.
"Thanks," Gar said. "And sorry for the trouble I've caused. I guess I should keep my temper in check now that I've become a celebrity."
"Celebrity?! Ha!" Angel Dust cried out, mockingly. "Don't shit yourself. You'll be forgotten by tomorrow. Nobody gets talked about for long. A fallen hero isn't anythin new and neither is that little dispute you had with that imp. You've had your fifteen minutes in the spotlight until the next big shit you pull."
"Harsh," Garfield dryly said.
"Get used to it," Angel told him.
"Uh, boss." Husk said as he also entered the room. However, in place of his usual grim and gruff expression, he looked nervous and scared even. "We uh … we have a visitor." He said, sweating bullets.
"Really? Who?"
"Uh …" Husk said as he stepped aside and into the room entered a tall pale man with blonde hair and a wide grin. Everyone, except for Garfield jumped and nearly choked in their own spit. Almost instantly, everyone, except Gar and Charlie, knelt before the newcomer.
"Who is this guy?" Garfield asked, but was then pulled out of the couch and forced to kneel.
"Shut up and keep your head low!" Angel Dust hissed.
"Dad," Charlie said, making everything clear to Garfield.
"Oh," He said in realization.
"What're you doing here?" Charlie asked.
"Certainly not to see you," Lucifer harshly told his only daughter, earning a hurt expression from her. He just walked over to the youngest demon in the room. Garfield almost looked up at him, but Angel Dust made him bow his head. "Garfield Logan is it? It's not often we get a hero sent to hell. But when we do, it always peaks my interest. Stand up." He told the shapeshifter.
"Dad!" Charlie cried out. "He's my employee! Don't you dare hurt him." She scolded, but Lucifer silence her.
"Thank you, Charlie. That's enough." Lucifer hissed, hushing her up. He turned his attention back to Garfield and, smiling again and said, "To you I say welcome to my kingdom." He started.
"T-thanks," Garfield said, awkwardly and terrified.
"Have you enjoyed your afterlife so far?" Lucifer went on.
"No sir. Not really." Garfield bluntly replied, which caused everyone in the room to stiffen.
Lucifer chuckled. "An honest man. I like that." He said. "Now, I've noticed you retained your powers to turn into animals. I've also noticed that your animal forms takes on a more demonic appearance."
"I do feel a lot stronger than I did when I was alive." Garfield replied.
"Indeed," Lucifer replied. "Well, that settles it." He said and suddenly Garfield gasped and grabbed his right hand. On the palm was now a burn mark which looked like a sigil.
"Dad, you can't do that!" Charlie spoke up. "He's my employee."
"Enough, Charlie." Lucifer harshly told her, turning his head towards her. "He may work for you. But he's also a sinner now. A resident of my realm. He, like all beings in Hell, is my property. Mine to do with whatever I want."
"Aw, shit dude." Garfield groaned.
Lucifer turned his attention back to Garfield and he said, "That is the Sigil of Lucifer. My mark. You having that on the palm of your hand makes you one of my agents."
"I'm agent quality?" Garfield asked.
Lucifer chuckled. "Who knows," He said. "I only picked you out of the sheer irony of you being a fallen hero. You get to continue working for Charlie and her ridiculous hotel. Your job as an Agent of Lucifer is only a part time job. But my orders goes above Charlie's. You will do as I tell you without question and succeed in any mission given by me. Fail me, well(Chuckles) I am the devil. So you take a gander at what will happen."
"Okay," Garfield said in defeat. "I'm already in Hell. So what different does it make serving the devil now? But if you ask me to do something that'll hurt innocent people, you can subject me to the worst tortures. I will not stoop to that level." He told Lucifer, which both impressed and horrified everyone else.
Lucifer let out another chuckle. "You still have that heroic side of you even though you've already been sent to hell. You're adorable, Garfield Logan. But sure. If you wanna continue playing the heroic type even in death, then by all means. I won't force you to do something that'll hurt the innocent. However long that'll last."
Before the argument could go any further, a loud roar was heard outside. So loud it made everyone, except Lucifer, cover their ears. It felt like the weight of the ocean crushing them. Lucifer turned his head and smiled.
Outside the building was the red giant, Trigon. He had found him. "Garfield Logan!" He cried out and started tearing the building apart. "I know you're here boy! I can smell you! Face my wrath for assisting my daughter in defeating me!" He shouted but was then blasted away. Moments later, Lucifer steps out of the building, with the rest of the gang close behind. Trigon regained consciousness and gasped when he saw who was before him. "Lucifer!" He cried out in fear.
"It's your majesty to you." Lucifer told the giant demon.
"Your majesty," Trigon said as he got down on all four, bowing his head before the devil. "I deeply apologize. I did not know you were in the building."
"Oh, it's alright, Trigon." Lucifer assured. "I'm not mad at that." He said, which made Trigon relieve. But then Lucifer went on. "However, for bringing about the apocalypse back on Earth, that made me really mad." He said and Trigon started sweating. "Did you forget that I outlawed the apocalypse? You were there when the law was written. So don't pretend you didn't know." He angrily told the giant demon. Trigon was about to speak in his defense. But Lucifer cut him of. "Not only did you break the law I set. But you also thought you could escape my wrath. You managed to enter Earth where I can't follow. Then when you were sent back to Hell, you put up a magic barrier around you which prevented me from tracking you down. But it was only a matter of time, you buffoon." Lucifer growled began emitting an aura. "All you did was delay the inevitable."
"My king! Mercy! Please have mercy!" Trigon begged.
Lucifer looked thoughtful and said "Hmmmmmmm-yeeeeeah, no." He said and shot beams from his one hand at Trigon. In an instant, the giant disappeared. And in place was a tiny four eyed imp. "Like your new look? Get used to it. This is your new permanent form." Lucifer told him.
"No!" Trigon cried out, now sporting a squeaky voice. "Your highness, I beg you! Don't leave me in such a pathetic state!"
"Don't worry," Lucifer said. "I'm not leaving you here. You're still going to serve a purpose … as the groundskeeper at my stables. Best get used to shoveling horse shit." He said, snapping his finger, opening up a portal beneath Trigon's hooves, sending him to his new permanent work place, screaming like a bitch.
Everyone who witnessed this were looking mighty distraught at this.
"Wow," Garfield said. "You really are the devil."
"Ain't I a stinker?" Lucifer replied, turning his attention back to the group. "Now, your first mission will come when it comes. Could be sometime in the middle of the night. Or maybe tomorrow or even a year from now. In the meantime, why won't you worry about it, Garfield?" He said with a smirk, while Garfield was just looking horrid. "Bye," Lucifer finished and disappeared in a flash of light.
Garfield went and sat on one of the pieces of the roof that Trigon tore of and rested his head on his hands.
"Oh my," Nifty suddenly said. "Now this place really needs a lady's touch." She said and went straight onto repairing the hotel.
Charlie went on over to Garfield to offer him comfort. "You wanna talk about it?" She asked.
"Not really," He replied. "But there's one thing that confuses me." He said. "Why would Lucifer outlaw the apocalypse? Wouldn't he be all for it?"
"Him wanting to bring forth the apocalypse makes literally no sense." Vaggie explained. "If all life on Earth ended, where then would Hell get it's souls from. Lucifer would be pretty much out of job if no more fresh condemned souls were sent down here."
"When you put it like that, it is a very good point." Garfield said and then his stomach growled something awful.
"Have you eaten anything at all since breakfast this morning?" Charlie asked.
"Not really," Garfield said. "Like I stated before, my powers of turning into animals makes me feel as if I'm committing cannibalism if I eat meat."
"Well, it's either that or-"
"Yeah, yeah. Suffer eternal starvation and go mad with hunger." Garfield interrupted, which bothered Charlie. "Sorry. I've had a really bad day and I'm fucking starving." He said and sighed. "Guess I'll have to eat meat then." He said in defeat.
"Could be worse, kid." Husk spoke. "Could be Lucifer's plaything. He always keeps the worst souls for himself to torment personally."
"I think I pretty did just become his plaything." Garfield said.
"Trust me," Charlie said. "He raised me. You have no idea how lucky you are."
"Hey, where's Al?" Angel Dust asked, looking around.
/
Imp City
Alastor walked down a hallway inside a building. When he reached the room he was going towards he stood in front of it while straightening his suit and his bow tie, as well as dusting of his shoulder. And then he knocked on the door that read I.M.P.
/
At Another part of Town
"So, says here you were a Vietnam Vet, agreed to a dangerous experiment that turned you into a super soldier, prolonging your life. Then you went onto fight in the Gulf Wars before you broke of from the government and decided to start your own criminal organization. You've committed several accounts of murder, which include killing children. But that's not important. What I like here is the your record as a soldier and assassin. You have well over five thousand kills on your conscience from your experience. Even though you had super powers, that is very impressive. It also says here you brought forth the apocalypse that was reversed a while back. You got quite the resume." Spoke a demon with a TV for a head. His name was Vox, a demon overlord. "You're hired." He said with a wicked grin. "So what should I call you?"
"My name as a human doesn't matter anymore," Said the all so familiar voice that Ron Pearlman provided. "Slade Wilson is dead. Call me Deathstroke."
/