A/N: I'm not John Flanagan, nor do I own any of his stories. I do however own a pencil and several notebooks.
The night after Halt died in a boating accident, Caitlyn curled up in his bed and sobbed.
She cried until her tears ran dry, leaving her quivering and hollow. The whole world felt… distant. The grief was still there, raw and overwhelming, but for the moment she floated above it. Not peace, only a respite from the pain.
She drifted, breaths evening out as her eyes fluttered shut. A brush of cool air on her cheek made her think I should close the window, but exhaustion weighed her down and she didn't move.
A soft noise startled her awake. Her eyes flew open even while the rest of her remained frozen. She didn't know how much time had passed, but night had deepened and left the room full of fuzzy darkness. Moonlight shone through the open window, but the illumination it provided was faint.
Movement caught her attention as a figure detached itself from the shadow beside the window. The person stepped towards the centre of the room, moving with such an aching familiarity that Caitlyn choked out "Halt?" before she could stop herself.
The person spun round to face her and Caitlyn gasped. Either the moonlight was playing tricks on her eyes or—
"Oh," she said, disappointment crashing over her. "This is a dream, isn't it?"
It had to be a dream.
Of course it was a dream.
How else could her dead brother be standing in front of her, eyes wide with shock?
"Caitlyn?" Dream-Halt said. "What are you doing here?"
"What are you doing here?" Caitlyn shot back. "You're dead."
Dream-Halt, or maybe real-Halt, huffed out a laugh, but there was no humour in the sound. "Sorry to disappoint."
Hope rose like a burning flame as Caitlyn pushed off the bed and threw herself at Halt. He caught her, arms coming up to hold her as she sobbed into his shoulder. His shirt was damp. "You idiot!" she said, no real heat to the words. "I thought you were dead! Ferris said you fell overboard and no one could find you. We thought you were dead and it was terrible."
Halt didn't respond and Caitlyn pulled back in sudden alarm. She scanned him, but it was too dark to see if he was injured. "Are you alright?"
"I'll live," Halt said wryly.
Caitlyn grabbed his wrist and turned to the door. "Come on! We have to tell everyone you're alive." Halt didn't move and Caitlyn was pulled up short. "Halt?" she asked, tugging lightly on his arm.
"You can't tell anyone I was here." Halt's voice was flat and Caitlyn's stomach swooped unpleasantly. "I mean it, Caitlyn. No one can know."
His wrist slipped from her grasp and she stared at him. "What do you mean? I— I don't understand. What are you saying?" Her voice rose as she spoke, but she was cut off when Halt covered her mouth with his hand. They froze.
"Keep your voice down," he breathed. Seconds ticked by and the tense silence remained unbroken, with no noise from the hallway to suggest they had been heard. Halt let her go, nodding to the chairs by the fireplace. "We need to talk."
Caitlyn allowed herself to be led to the chairs. She waited but Halt didn't say anything, just stared down at his clenched hands.
"Halt?" she prompted. Moonlight fell on his face as he looked at her and there was something unbearably sad in his expression.
"I'm leaving, Cait," he said, voice so low that Caitlyn thought she had misheard. "I can't stay."
It was as though she had been struck. "What?" she whispered.
"Today wasn't an accident. Ferris tried to kill me."
It shouldn't have been so easy to believe that Ferris had tried to commit fratricide, but Caitlyn knew her brothers. Halt wouldn't lie to her, and Ferris... Ferris had always been bitter about being the second prince and his bitterness had only increased.
The flash of regret was quickly overshadowed by determination. There had to be some other option. Some sort of alternative to what Halt was planning. "So we tell someone. Tell Father."
Halt was already shaking his head. "I don't have proof. It would be my word against his and you know who everyone would believe."
"I believe you!"
"You aren't everyone." Halt's voice was bitter.
"There has to be something…"
"I won't fight my own brother." The quietness of Halt's words did nothing to conceal the steel of his conviction. "Ferris wants to be Crown Prince and he won't stop until I'm gone or he's dead. I won't kill him, but everyone already thinks I'm dead, so I'll stay that way."
He won't stop. That phrase implied…
"This wasn't the first time he tried, was it?" Caitlyn asked, horror curling in her stomach and making her nauseous. She desperately wanted to be wrong.
"The falling tiles last year. I saw him on the battlements. I suspect he tried to poison me before that, but got the dosage wrong."
A memory surfaced—of Halt sick for days, and the realisation clicked into place. "The shrimp."
Halt nodded. "But no proof. Nothing but suspicious coincidences."
Three times.
Ferris had tried to kill Halt three times and no one had noticed.
It was a miracle Halt was still alive.
Faced with that, Caitlyn was forced to admit to the wisdom of Halt's plan. Her eyes burned with unshed tears, but she fought to keep them back. Halt was alive and he would stay that way, even if the price required was for her to lose him.
"Where will you go?" she whispered.
"I'm not sure. I'll travel around. Maybe go to Araluen and find someone to finish Pritchard's training."
"The Ranger?"
"Yes. He started training me, but I've got more to learn if I want to be a Ranger."
"Do you? Want to be a Ranger, I mean."
Halt shifted. "Maybe. The Rangers serve the king of Araluen. I'd like to know what kind of man he is before I pledge to serve him."
In the silence that followed Caitlyn found herself imagining Halt as a Ranger. She knew very little about the day-to-day life and duties of a Ranger, but Halt had enjoyed Pritchard's training far more than any of his responsibilities as Crown Prince. Maybe he could be happy in Araluen. The thought was bittersweet and made something in her chest ache.
Her musings were cut short when Halt stood. "I should be packing. I need to be gone before the servants start to wake up."
Caitlyn stood as well. "I'll get you some food from the kitchen storerooms." She paused with her hand on the latch. "I'll knock before I come in so you know it's me."
Poking her head out first to make sure the coast was clear, Caitlyn slipped out of the room. The halls were dim and deserted, the quiet seeming to amplify Caitlyn's footsteps. Only once was she forced to duck into an alcove as a guard passed by and she reached the storeroom with no further incidents.
One of the lower shelves held stacks of clean cloths that would suit her purpose. Caitlyn picked a large one, inspected it to make sure it had no holes, then spread it on the floor. She turned a full circle, looking for food that would travel well and last for several days.
A crate of apples caught her eye. Potatoes were beside them, so she picked a couple of those too. Then she added several pieces of cured meat. She slipped back out to the kitchen for a knife to slice some chunks of cheese from one of the wheels. A small loaf of bread and a couple of carrots were added to the growing pile.
She picked out a smaller cloth, then clambered up the shelves so she could reach the jar of candied walnuts. Halt had a soft spot for them. Tying the corners of the cloth together, Caitlyn carefully climbed back down and added the bundle to the other food. She knotted the corners together, then blew out her candle and placed it back on the shelf with the other candles.
Clutching the bundle to her chest, Caitlyn snuck back the way she had come. A thought struck her and she detoured to her room to pick up her coin purse. The pouch was well crafted, with intricately curved lines embossed into the leather. It had been a birthday gift from Halt. The clink of coins was muffled as she hefted it in her palm.
She knocked on Halt's door, two staccato taps, before entering. Halt was waiting in a chair, bag at his feet and cloak hanging over the armrest. Caitlyn quelled the relief that surged at the sight of him. A small, irrational part of her had worried that he would disappear as soon as she turned her back.
"This should keep you going for a few days." She passed him the bundled food and he added it to his bag. She held out her coin purse. "And this will help after that."
"I can't take your money," Halt protested, but Caitlyn wrapped his fingers around the pouch.
"I'm giving it to you." She poked him warningly. "Don't try to give it back. Buy yourself a room on a rainy night or something."
Halt held up his empty hand in surrender, then tucked the pouch into his bag. "Thank you." He checked his supplies once more and glanced around the room to make sure he hadn't missed anything. Satisfied, he closed the bag and stood, accepting the cloak that Caitlyn held out to him.
"Promise me you'll take care of yourself," Caitlyn said as he settled the cloak on his shoulders.
Halt stilled and his voice was hoarse when he finally answered. "I promise." The reality of what was happening came crashing down as he stepped towards her, arms open, offering one last hug. Caitlyn met him halfway, clinging to him fiercely. Eyes closed and cheek pressed against his shoulder, Caitlyn breathed deeply.
At least, she tried to.
She inhaled and her breath hitched on a silent sob. A shudder ran from head to toe, and without Halt's support, she doubted she would have remained standing. Halt didn't say anything, just shifted to accommodate for the extra weight and tightened his grip. For one priceless moment, Caitlyn allowed herself to indulge in the offered comfort, then she steeled herself. Ignoring the way her heart thudded painfully against her ribs, she forced herself to loosen her grasp and step back. Halt let her go.
"Godspeed, Halt," she whispered, proud of the way her voice didn't tremble. She wrapped her arms around her torso to keep from reaching out to him again in the way she so desperately wanted.
He nodded, then turned and slipped from the room like a shadow.
A/N: The idea for this story wouldn't stop bugging me until I wrote it out. I've always wondered how much Caitlyn knew about the situation between Halt and Ferris, but there isn't much information about her at all.
Thanks for reading!