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Loyalty and Limerence
Part 3
Chapter 20
The Citadel
Even before they left their room, Garrus and Jane could hear the thumping of the music down below. As they reached the stairs, they could see that the party was already underway. Drinks and conversation were flowing, with a majority of their teammates and friends having already arrived.
"Guess we're fashionably late, huh?" Jane mused, and Garrus rolled his eyes.
"Why am I not surprised that's a thing for humans?" He chuckled as her elbow caught him in the side. He pulled her close, nuzzling her neck as she laughed. "So," he continued, "Are we going to give everyone the good news tonight?" He took her hand in his, his thumb brushing over the ring there.
"Yeah, I think so. When the time is right." Jane replied, threading her fingers through his. Together, they made their way downstairs to join the festivities.
When Garrus looked back at the party over the following days, he'd reflect that most of it was something of a blur. This was, he supposed, due in large parts to the copious amounts of alcohol ingested over the course of the evening.
It was a blessing to have everyone together in one place, though. Besides a good deal of the Normandy's current ground team and some of its crew, a number of old friends arrived as well. Miranda was sufficiently recovered from her ordeal at Sanctuary, Wrex happened to be on the Citadel again, and even Jack showed up. Seeing as how she and Kaidan had secluded themselves in a back corner, each with a drink and an overly warm smile, it didn't take much to guess at her motivation to make an appearance.
Grunt and Jacob both arrived, followed, to Garrus' surprise, by Zaeed. He heard Kasumi's voice at one point, so he knew she was there, but she seemed content to avoid notice beyond that. Thane and his son showed up together, seemingly content to relax on the couch and participate in conversation now and then. And Mordin-
"-studied species turian, asari, and batarian.
I'm quite good at genetics as a subset of biology,
Because I am an expert, which I know is a tautology."
Mordin was flushed, a drink in his hand as he stood atop the coffee table in the living room, belting out an extended version of the song he'd sung eons ago at a different party. The room went quiet as he continued at break-neck speed, everyone's eyes wide in awe.
"In four directions cardinal, I know the blot routinery,
I problem solve with tools and guns and even farm machinery.
I perfectly recall your genome purine by pyrimidine—"
Mordin paused, bringing a finger to his chin in consideration as he muttered, "Hmm, rhyme required for pyrimidine… Ah, yes!" And he continued.
"I'll diagnose the cause of every symptom you're exhibiting!
My knowledge is prodigious, though I'm stuffy and professsory,
I'm fluent in the vorcha tongue and hanar luminescery.
My xeno science studies range from urban to agrarian,
I am the very model of a scientist salarian!"
He threw his free hand out wide as he held the final note, and finally shut it with a snap as he cut off, looking around. There was a silent pause before the room erupted in delighted applause.
Everyone seemed to be letting loose and forgetting about rules and regulations as the night went on. Zaeed was off sniffing after Samara hopefully, James and Ashley were making out on the loft, Tali and Jack were talking about holo-tattoos, and Grunt was cooking. Even Shepard let loose and danced for a little while, much to everyone's amusement.
As Garrus lounged on one of the couches with Jane tucked in beside him, sipping her drink, he realized that for the first time that night, almost all the partygoers were gathering in the same general location. One or two people were in the kitchen, but just about everyone else was conversing nearby in the living room, or up above in the loft.
He gave Jane a soft nudge, and as she looked up at him questioningly, he took her hand and covertly gestured to the room at large as he brushed a thumb over the ring. She smiled and nodded as she understood, but as she moved to stand, someone spoke up across the room.
"So, I wasn't entirely sure when to do this, but now seems as good a time as ever. It's getting late and we're all probably not getting any more sober." Shepard announced with a chuckle as he stood, and everyone turned to him expectantly as they waited for whatever announcement he had. He shuffled a little awkwardly, which seemed odd for the Commander, who usually shown in the public spotlight.
"This would be nerve-wracking enough in a normal situation, but the difference in species made it even more complicated, so please bear with me." Shepard took a deep breath before visibly relaxing. He held his hand out to where Tali was sitting nearby. She stood and took it, obviously confused and hesitant with all eyes on them. Up above on the loft, onlookers leaned on the railing, and everyone down below watched with interest as Shepard took both Tali's hands in his, smiling at her gently.
"Shepard, what-?" She began, her helmeted head tilted slightly, but Shepard began again before she could finish the question.
"There's something about knocking on death's door that makes you step back and evaluate what's important in life." He looked out over the room, taking in all the smiling faces of his closest friends and teammates. His expression wilted as he sighed, "We're so close to the end, to either victory or defeat. We have no idea what we're leaping into, or what we're going to find when we get there." His smile returned, wider than before, "But right now, right here, we have the people around us that matter most. One last night of memories before we meet the devil head on. I want to make the most of it while we have a chance."
Shepard turned back to Tali. In the same fluid movement, he dropped to his knee before her, grasping both her hands as he looked up at her. The humans amongst the onlookers all seemed to inhale as one, eyes wide with anticipation. Garrus, too, realized what was about to happen. Jane's grip on his hand tightened, a wide, delighted smile stretching across her face.
"Tali'Zorah vas Normandy. I'm sorry I don't have a ring for you, but I don't think it would work with your suit, anyway. Regardless, I want a future with you. I don't care if it's on Rannoch, Earth, or wherever, so long as it's with you. I want to build you a home and start a family if we make it through this. I would be honored to spend the rest of my life with you, if you'll have me." Shepard paused, Tali's bright eyes widened as she understood. "Will you marry me?"
The room seemed to hold its collective breath as they all waited. Even those from cultures that varied greatly from that of the humans seemed to understand the significance of the moment.
"Oh, Shepard," Tali choked out, her voice heavy and laden with emotion as she nodded weakly, "Of course I'll marry you. I…I…" Shepard rose to his feet in an instant, wrapping his arms around her enthusiastically as the room broke out into excited applause and whistles. Tali's overwhelmed babbling turned into a shriek as Shepard spun her around, letting loose a joyous burst of laughter.
They were instantly engulfed by a swarm of well wishes and congratulations, becoming lost in a sea of bodies. Garrus turned to Jane, and they shared a moment of silent agreement. There would be another time to share their own good news. No need to steal the spotlight. There was still time yet before the end.
The music blared, accompanied by a cheer from somewhere in the crowd. Garrus stood as he noticed more than one person moving to the beat. Holding out his hand to Jane, he tossed his head in the direction of the makeshift dance floor by way of an invitation.
Grinning, she took his hand, and he savored the warmth of her as she pressed herself against him. Inhaling, he did his best to hold this image in his mind. He knew he was going to need strength in the days to come, a reminder of what he was fighting for. He needed to remember his inspiration, his reason to keep going when all else was lost, his drive to take another step when he reached his limit, when his body was broken and his mind was shattered.
His gaze met hers, and his fingers tightened around hers, pulling her closer.
It was her. It would always be her.
Garrus lay in his bunk, the suffocating silence creeping in around him. The usual sounds of sleeping crewmen were absent, despite the full bunks, a testament to the pervasive anxiety slowly rotting the ship from the inside.
With every minute, they raced closer to Earth and whatever awaited them. As he lay there, it was as though every bone in his body was vibrating, the blood in his extremities beginning to boil and itch.
He couldn't just silently wait, and sleep was more and more an impossibility hardly worth trying for anymore. Standing up, Garrus made for the door. He didn't even need to glance at Jane's bunk to know she wasn't there.
"Hey." He said dully as he came to stand beside her on the observation deck.
"Hey." Jane replied, leaning her shoulder into him, her gaze not leaving the heavens beyond the glass. They spent hours just standing there together in silence, watching the stars. Or perhaps it was only seconds. Time seemed to lose all meaning in the quiet moments. When Garrus looked down at her, he could see her contented smile.
"What's got you so cheerful?" He asked, bewildered. Given everything they'd learned, given what they were racing toward, he could hardly imagine a reason to smile.
"Just replaying that wonderful, perfect moment over and over in my head." Jane sighed happily as she shut her eyes, tipping her head back slightly as she hummed happily. Which moment did she mean? Was she referring to the party? Their date atop the Presidium? Or something else?
"Oh?" He asked, probing, and her eyes opened lazily as her smile widened.
"I'm savoring the memory of the feeling of my blade sliding home between Kai Leng's ribs. His surprised expression as he realized what had happened, the sound of his body hitting the floor. God, it felt amazing. It was a long time coming, but damn was it satisfying."
A bark of surprised laughter escaped Garrus, and he lifted an arm to drape across her shoulders.
"You're beautiful when you're basking in the blood of your enemies."
"How very krogan of you."
"Maybe Grunt and Wrex are rubbing off on me a little."
Jane snorted, leaning further into him. He clutched her a little tighter. After a few minutes, he looked back down at her to see that her smile had faded to be replaced with a concerned crease between her brows.
"Can we ever be ready for a battle like this?" She whispered into the darkness, fear creeping into her voice. "Everything we've ever known… It's all hanging by a thread, Garrus."
"Yeah." He nodded, "But the truth is, when hasn't it? Every fight we've ever seen could've been our last. Every bullet we've ever dodged could have been the one."
"There have been a lot of bullets." She relented, the crease easing as the corner of her lip lifted in a crooked smile.
Garrus shrugged, "And this time around they're just a little bigger." His words were intended to comfort Jane, but he found his own shoulders relaxing slightly as well. There was a pause, and then Jane's arm snaked up around his waist.
"I don't know what I'd do without you." She whispered, and he hummed. Finally, she pulled away, stepping toward the door. "I'm going to go stop by John's room, spend a little time with him before we arrive. Want to join me?"
"Sure. As long as he and Tali aren't having some, er… quality time alone." Jane's face contorted in disgust as she glared at him.
"Ugh, let's not talk about my brother's sex life. But point taken."
"Tali is still working down in Engineering." EDI chimed in from the room's speakers."The Commander is not currently entertaining any guests in his cabin. He is currently attempting to read, but I believe he would appreciate your company, Jane. He appears… despondent."
"Thank you, EDI. Come on, Garrus."
The halls were darkened with the Normandy's night cycle and silent as the grave. Those that remained on duty went about their jobs like phantoms, present but only just. There was a sort of sanctified silence that all feared to break as the ship made its trip into hell.
Neither Jane nor Garrus broke the quiet as they waited for the elevator to carry them upwards. Even the whoosh of Shepard's cabin door opening seemed muted, as though the ship itself wanted to maintain the silence.
"Tali, I…" Shepard spun from where he'd been pacing, his face brightening until he registered who they were. His expression fell comically, his disappointment obvious. "Oh."
"Oh?" Jane crossed her arms as she leveled her brother in an unamused quirk of her eyebrow. "Gee, thanks. Feeling the love."
Shepard chuckled as he rubbed his face. The man's exhaustion was more pronounced than Garrus had ever seen it, which was saying something. He had dark rings under his eyes, sleep clearly a distant friend, often remembered but rarely present. He had regained his color after the incident on Thessia, having fully healed according to Dr. Chakwas, and yet it had seemed to fade again over the last day or two.
There was a pinched quality to Shepard's face that spoke of hours spent laying awake, anxious worry plastering his eyes open like sticky tape. Garrus had no doubt the Commander had spent a good deal of time pacing the small confines of his quarters and finding very little worthwhile rest. He wasn't surprised he was disappointed to find someone other than Tali stepping through the doors, the poor man was probably desperate to sleep and only the quarian seemed to have any success on that front.
"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that." Shepard sighed, running a hand over his close cropped hair and smiling tiredly. "Of course I'm happy to see you both. What can I do for you?"
"Nothing, I just…" Jane took a step further into the room, but then stopped, unsure. Her crossed arms shifted, wrapping around herself in more of a hug as she looked away. A look of understanding crossed Shepard's face.
"Ah." He strode toward Jane and wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug. She melted into him, her arms unfurling around herself to come up around her brother with a sigh. "It's going to be okay, Jane. We're going to win this."
"Yeah. Of course." She grunted into his shoulder, unconvinced but continuing on with the facade. They pulled away with tight, forced smiles pasted on their faces like plastic dolls. "The Reapers don't stand a chance."
Slowly, their smiles faded away, disintegrating like dust on the breeze, leaving being nothing but lined faces and tired furrows between their brows. Garrus stepped forward, placing a gentle, reassuring hand on Jane's back.
"We've still got a few hours before we arrive. How about a drink?" He asked, looking between the two Shepards with a flick of his mandibles. Jane flashed him a grateful smile, moving toward where she knew Shepard kept a few bottles. The Commander hesitated a moment before nodding his acquiescence.
"Fine, but not too much. We need to be on the top of our game when we hit the ground."
"Deal." Garrus agreed, and they both accepted a bottle from Jane before moving to the couch. The three of them fell into it like lead weights, their bodies laying limply for a moment before moving to open their drinks.
They struck up a few failed attempts at small talk before falling into a dull silence. Garrus searched his groggy, tired brain for a topic of conversation, but everything felt forced, trite, or utterly pointless. Finally, Jane leaned into her brother's shoulder, her bottle as virtually untouched as the rest of theirs.
"How did we end up here, John?" She whispered as his arm came around to drape across her shoulders. "We were just street trash from Earth, and now we're the final hope for the galaxy."
Shepard chuckled, but it was a tired sound, as though he'd asked himself the same question dozens of times.
"Your guess is as good as mine." He sighed, and Garrus could admit to himself that he'd had similar thoughts lately. It seemed impossible that he, a failed cop and vigilante, was among the team that shouldered the fate of all life in the galaxy. "And yet, here we are."
Garrus took a swig from his drink, but it tasted like ash on his tongue. It wasn't the first time they'd thrown themselves into hell with little expectation of surviving. First, they'd rushed off after Saren toward Ilos, then they'd passed through the Omega 4 Relay into the center of the galaxy to fight the Collectors. But this was something else entirely. The stakes had always been high, but this…
"Promise me you're not going to do something stupid, John." Jane's voice was small, but laced with steel. "Promise me you're not going to do something stupid to save people and get yourself killed. Again." Beneath the words, Garrus could hear the pain and heartbreak that had radiated off her in the weeks following Shepard's death aboard the SR1. Shepard sighed again.
"I can't promise that. You know I can't. If sacrificing myself means I can stop the Reapers and prevent any more bloodshed, I'd do it in a heartbeat."
"I know." Jane shut her eyes, her shoulders slumping further as the steel leeched out of her. "I just don't want to lose you again."
"And I don't want to lose you. Any of you." Shepard looked at Garrus, and he nodded in acknowledgment. "But it's not about us. It's about stopping the Reapers." The words seemed to reverberate through the room, the truth landing heavy on their shoulders. Jane shut her eyes, leaning into Shepard further as she took a deep breath. It was as though she were trying to fix the sensations within her memory, as though she were savoring her last moments of peace.
"I know." She whispered, her lips barely moving.
"Plus, you're hardly innocent when it comes to stupid, life risking stunts. You're just luckier than I." Shepard joked with forced levity that fell flat. "Maybe I'm the one who should be forcing unreasonable promises from you." Jane snorted lightly, opening her eyes and sitting up just enough to punch her brother lightly in the shoulder.
Placing her drink on the low table, Jane stood and stepped toward the large fish tank, gazing into its depths as her arms came up to wrap around herself again. Garrus and Shepard both put their own drinks down, standing in unison as she took a steadying breath.
"I don't want to say goodbye." Jane stated firmly as she spun around to face them both. "Because we're not going to die."
"Good." Garrus smiled as he approached, taking her hand in his. "And after this, we can retire somewhere warm and tropical and live off the royalties from the vids." That got a true laugh out of both her and Shepard as he joined them.
"That sounds like a plan. I think my days of saving the galaxy are over when this is done." Shepard mused with a shake of his head.
"I'm sure you'll have plenty of autographs to sign," Garrus added, laughing as Shepard's smile turned sour.
"We just need to beat the Reapers first." Jane sighed, her smile wilting as she looked away. Garrus brought his hands up, resting one on the shoulder of each Shepard firmly.
"James told me there's an old saying on Earth: 'May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead.'" They both blinked in surprise as they turned their attention on him, and he continued. "I'm not sure if turian heaven is the same as yours, but if this thing goes sideways and we all end up there… Meet me at the bar. I'm buying."
Shepard laughed and nodded, but Jane narrowed her eyes threateningly.
"We're a team, Garrus. There's no Shepard without Vakarian," She jabbed a finger into his chest hard enough to feel through his plates, "so you better remember to duck."
"Sorry, turians don't know how." He stated with a shrug as he smiled. "But I'll improvise." Her smile returned as she rolled her eyes and Shepard laughed again.
"Smart ass." She muttered, and Garrus grinned as he crossed his arms. Some of the tightness in his chest was loosening, making it easier to breathe as the weight on his shoulders seemed easier to bear.
Suddenly, he was yanked forward as Shepard wrapped an arm around both him and Jane, pulling them both in for a hug that was made awkward by their varying heights.
"Thanks, guys. I needed this." Shepard murmured into the hug and Jane and Garrus both brought their arms up. "You both have been with me the longest, right from the very start." He pulled away slightly, his smile bittersweet. "I don't think I'd have made it this far without you guys. Thank you."
"Wouldn't have missed it for the world." Garrus said with a flick of his mandibles, and Jane nodded in agreement.
"Whatever happens, I'm glad I could stand by your side through this, John. Right up to the end."
"Yeah." Shepard murmured as he pulled her in closer, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead as she shut her eyes and smiled. "Right up to the end."
When the Normandy pulled alongside Admiral Hackett's ship a few hours later, much of the crew showed up in uniform to greet him. Shepard and his ground team waited by the galaxy map, and even those not belonging to the Alliance stood a little straighter. Jane wore her armor instead of any uniform, being a Spectre not a soldier, and yet her posture and stance were those of any other in the Alliance.
Garrus stood at her side, listening as Hackett addressed the entirety of the massive fleet assembled for the assault on Earth. Never before had there been such a force. It consisted of ships from every race, every army, every group. Shepard had assembled the largest, most impressive fleet the galaxy had ever seen, and yet…
The enemy they faced was so hellish that it felt as though nothing could stand a chance. Were they ready? Had they done enough? Did they stand a chance? Only time would tell.
He listened along with the rest of the ground team as Shepard, Hackett, and Anderson discussed the plan to assault the beam that would take them up to the Citadel in order to open the arms. After that, they would dock the Crucible to the Citadel, and then… Something would happen. Garrus couldn't help the apprehension that gripped his belly with cold, creeping fingers. They had to have blind faith that something would happen, that doing this would somehow end the Reapers. Everything pointed to this being their only option, their only hope, and yet…
Blind faith had never been Garrus' best skill.
The feeling only intensified as he stood fully armored alongside Shepard and the rest in the cockpit as they approached the Sol Relay. He was more than familiar with the anxious tension that came part and parcel with the moments leading up to important missions. But this… This was something else entirely. Everything hinged on this. Everything and everyone. It all came down to this moment.
There was a lurch somewhere in his lower abdomen, and stars suddenly appeared beyond the windows as the Normandy arrived at the Sol Relay. Within moments, more ships began materializing around them, ships of all sizes and shapes. One by one, the various fleets radioed in, ready for the fight awaiting them. Soon it seemed as though there were more ships than stars in the heavens, some of them so large that the Normandy began to feel insignificant in comparison. Garrus turned to eye Shepard with a half smile. This ship and its commander were anything but insignificant.
It wasn't long until the burning visage of Earth appeared before them. Before it, there hovered more Reapers than Garrus could ever have imagined. He swallowed, his throat suddenly dry. He felt a pressure on his arm and looked down to see Jane gripping his wrist, her wide eyes never leaving the view before them. She was pale, ashen in the dim light.
"This is it, everyone." Shepard murmured, his voice echoing through the comm out to the fleet amassed around them. "Be ready on my signal."
Garrus' entire body was poised on the precipice. His heart, previously hammering within his ribcage, froze as he waited, his breath sucked from his lungs as though in a vacuum. His plates prickled, his limbs vibrating as they begged to move, to fight, to run, to scream. But he waited, silent and ready.
This was it. This was what they had all been working toward. Garrus had been careening toward this moment ever since he'd first shook Shepard's hand atop the Citadel Tower all those years ago. It had all led to this moment.
"Fire."
As the shuttle broke through the atmosphere, they began getting their first glimpses of the planet's surface as Shepard pulled up the views from the outer cameras.
"You know, when I envisioned my first trip to Earth, this wasn't exactly how I pictured it." Garrus murmured bleakly as he shook his head slowly. He looked around at the humans aboard the shuttle, taking in the distraught expressions and tense jaws.
"It doesn't even look like Earth." Ashley grit out through clenched teeth, her anger seething as they took in the views of burning rubble and desiccated greenery. Fiery debris silently floated from the sky like nightmarish snowflakes, and exploding ships twinkled in the smoky sky like heartbreaking stars.
They flew over what had once been city streets and neighborhoods, but nowhere did they see signs of life. Crushed skycars littered the roads, and no buildings stood at their original heights. The thrumming of Reaper cannons reverberated through the air, resonating in their ribcages.
Garrus looked down at Jane, who stood stiff and still as she watched the small holo. He couldn't see it under her armor, but he could imagine the small chain that looped around her neck, the ring upon it pressed against her chest just above her heart. Mirroring it was the chain around his own neck, two small Alliance dog tags on it nestled against his own chest. Reaching down, he silently took her hand that wasn't clutching a handhold and gave it a squeeze. She showed no sign of acknowledgment, but after a moment, she returned the pressure as she gripped his hand tightly.
"Shit." Cortez breathed as he began flicking through holo displays. A view of a Reaper cannon appeared on his dashboard. "We have a lock. Hold on." Everyone braced themselves as he took evasive action, and Garrus barely held on as the ship gave a violent shudder a moment later. The sound of an exploding shuttle nearby crashed over his senses, and he felt the familiar sinking sensation that not all was going to plan. It never seemed to.
Shepard stepped forward into the cockpit to discuss a course of action with Cortez in hurried voices before turning back to the rest of the anxious team. "Change of plans." He announced firmly, his shoulders squared, but the lines near his eyes pinched. "We're gonna take out that Hades Cannon so Hammer can land."
"On foot?" Garrus asked skeptically, "That'll be a challenge." Shepard's brows knit as he opened his mouth to reply, but Cortez cut in.
"That downed shuttle would've been carrying the heavy weapons." Shepard's expression brightened even as his eyes steeled with determination.
"Perfect. You heard the man. Once we're clear, make your way to the crashed shuttle." Shepard's eyes scanned the team as they nodded in understanding. "We'll search the wreckage for heavy weapons." With that, he drew his shotgun, and everyone followed suit.
"Right behind you, Shepard." Kaidan stated firmly, others chiming in over the sound of weapons being adjusted and checked.
The door opened the moment they landed, the pings of gunfire hitting the shuttle's shields greeting their ears.
"Now! Go! Go!" Shepard shouted as he darted out of the shuttle and into nearby cover. The pounding of feet followed as they all hurried after him.
"Damn. I can't stay here, sir." Cortez said over the comm as the door shut behind them. The shuttle continued taking fire, the shield weakening.
"Get clear." Shepard instructed before lifting a hand to send a biotic shockwave toward the oncoming hoard. "Come get us once we've taken that turret out."
"And stay low!" Jane added as she looked up from her scope, eying the Reaper in the distance as it fired its cannon again. "Stay out of their line of fire. We don't need you going the same way as the other shuttle!"
"Roger that. Cortez out." With that, the shuttle lifted off, skirting just above the ground as it rounded a nearby corner.
"All right, everyone. Let's move!"
It was hours later when they finally arrived at Hammer team's Forward Operating Base. Or maybe it was minutes later, though it felt more like years. Garrus' body ached and blood spotted more than one set of armor as he looked around the shuttle. He knew they had a long fight ahead of them, and he prayed they'd have enough time to rest before the next push. But at least they'd gotten the cannons down and let Hammer team land. They'd managed somehow, like usual, and they would continue to do so one way or another. Just like old times.
The door to their shuttle slid open as Cortez touched down, revealing a tired but smiling admiral waiting for them.
"Anderson!" Two voices cried out as Jane stepped out of the shuttle with a surprising burst of energy, her brother right behind her. She wrapped her arms around Anderson, and he chuckled as he returned the gesture.
"Jane, it's good to see you again." She released him, and he stepped back as just in time to be grabbed up in another hug. "You, too, John."
The three humans began talking in hushed, warm tones as the team began unloading from the shuttle. Garrus gave Jane's shoulder a quick squeeze as he passed, and she flashed him a smile before returning her focus to Anderson. Garrus turned to make his way through the camp.
It was dark as he stepped outside, the sun having set long since, and dark billowing clouds swept across the night sky like the spirits of the angry dead. Occasional gusts blew in, smoldering embers whipping about the camp in a hellish tempest. It caught piles of debris and refuse, flinging pieces of paper and trash into the air, causing them to dance over the ground before finding rest elsewhere.
Everywhere were personnel from Hammer team in various stages of preparation. They moved with purpose, their jobs clear and their goal united. He could see the cracks, though, the terror threatening to overflow from soldiers barely keeping it together. Every time a Reaper cannon thrummed in the distance, jaws and fists clenched and faces pinched. Everyone knew how close they stood to oblivion, everyone knew what waited for them beyond.
And they waited. No soldier was a stranger to waiting, and all around him Garrus saw the faces of people waiting to be told it was time to face death or worse. People who had been fighting against hellish Reaper forces long enough to know what lay beyond the safety of the surrounding walls.
But even so, the camp was a strange and inspiring sight, all the different groups huddling together as they waited for the next push. Krogan, turians, salarians, asari, humans, geth, quarians, and everything in between, all working together for a single cause: the destruction of the Reapers. As it had been above in the skies over Earth, so it was below down here on the ground. Everyone coming together for the sake of the galaxy. It truly was inspiring.
Garrus watched as members of Shepard's team dispersed, joining various groups to talk, help, or prepare. Even if he hadn't been able to see turians streaming in and out the nearby building, he could have picked it out as their makeshift headquarters from the discordant mishmash of anxious subvocals from a mile away. He began heading in that direction, but stopped short as he noticed a man standing nearby, talking with a group of Alliance marines.
There was something off about James, he noted. Usually, he had a fluid confidence, not unlike a tiger, ready to strike despite the languid stance. Now, however, there was a tightness to his posture, a stiffness that bespoke tension and anxiety.
"Vega." Garrus called out as he approached, noting as James nearly jumped at the unexpected greeting. "You okay?"
"Oh. Uh, yeah." He could see the same tension in James' face that he saw in all the surrounding soldiers, the same tension he felt in himself. "I don't know what I thought I'd feel, coming back to Earth." The man paused, his eyes drifting to the shattered buildings around them and the ominous glow catching the clouds from the fires below. "I…" James trailed off, finally shaking his head as he looked away.
"I know what you mean. I remember being back on Menae, looking up at the giant fire that was the city I was born in. I don't think there's anything left of it now." Garrus murmured, letting his thoughts drift back to Palaven for the first time in a while. James watched him for a moment, then nodded. He extended a hand out to Garrus as he stood a little taller.
"So, I guess this is it, no?"
"A little early to be saying goodbye, don't you think?" Garrus grunted as he eyed the extended hand before him. James shrugged, but the hand remained between them.
"Maybe. But I don't think I'm the only one who feels like… like this is it. One more push… One last fight." James stated, his face blank but his voice sedate in a way utterly unlike the macho braggart he'd exchanged wild stories with way back when on the Normandy. "Time to give it our all, or die trying." After a moment, Garrus took his hand and gave it a firm shake.
"It's been a pleasure serving with you, James."
"You as well, Garrus."
"What, no 'Scars'?" He asked playfully as he released the other man's hand and stepped back. James shrugged as he averted his eyes back to the clouds above.
"Yeah, sorry." James grunted vaguely before sighing. With that, he nodded farewell and turned his attention back to the other marines. Garrus watched them for another moment before turning to leave.
James was right, it turned out. As he made his way through the camp, more than one of their ground team approached him with some form of goodbye. It caused the ominous, icy feeling in his stomach to grow with each encounter.
"Vakarian. I was wondering when you'd show up." Garrus looked up as he entered the heart of the ruined building that the turians had been congregating in. Primarch Victus stood in one corner, a knot of soldiers arrayed around him as they discussed plans for the coming push.
"Primarch." Garrus nodded his greeting, a wave of relief hitting him hard in the chest. Here he could find something to do, a way to be helpful. A much needed relief from the pit of anxiety slowly threatening to engulf him. There were no heartfelt goodbyes here, only work and usefulness. In the past, he'd bemoaned the emotional detachment of turians, personally identifying more with the passion of humans. But at the moment, emotional detachment held its comforts, and he could see why so many of his kind relied on it.
Immediately, he dove right into the work. It amazed him how quickly he fell into a roll of leadership, quickly taking the delegation from Victus without complaint. Soldiers took his orders without question, and he couldn't help but wonder if it was the current situation that made them so quick to obey, or if he himself had finally achieved the air of command that he'd admired in Shepard all these years.
The minutes ticked by quicker than he'd expected, and the work served as a welcome distraction from the feelings building in his chest. "I want you to coordinate with the Alliance." Garrus said as he turned to a turian waiting patiently, eagerly awaiting orders. "Make sure we iron out these logistical problems."
"Yes, sir." He replied quickly, but movement near the door caught Garrus' eye, and whatever the soldier said next was lost as he registered the person entering the room.
"Jane." Garrus breathed as his attention detached from the world around him, focusing in on the single person approaching him. The other turian backed away as Jane approached, as though he knew that nothing else mattered but her. As their eyes locked, her gazed seemed to burn him alive, the intensity in them nearly too much to bear. "So, I guess this is it…"
He trailed off. He'd said goodbye to nearly every teammate so far, but this… Her. Garrus didn't know how to say goodbye to her.
"Just like old times?" Jane asked with a half cocked grin, strained and forced as she crossed her arms in an approximation of her usual bravado. Garrus met her pained smirk with one of his own.
"Huh. Might be the last chance we get to say that." He mused, finally losing the battle as he looked down at his feet, breaking the hold she'd had on him since she'd entered the room. He felt the soft brush of her fingers on his face as she brought his chin up, forcing him to look back up at her.
"I told you, I'm not going to say goodbye. We're not dying here. Not today." She leaned forward to brush her forehead against his gently, remaining close enough that he could feel her breath against his mouth plates as she continued. "That's not why I'm here. I had a thought."
"Oh?" He brought a hand up to rest upon her back as her hands came to rest on the front of his cowl, pulling him close.
"Marry me." She whispered hoarsely, the words quick as though she'd fought to force them out in a fit of nerves. Garrus blinked, his mouth popping open, but no words escaped as he tried to understand the request.
"I, er… already proposed, if you'll remember. You know, the Presidium, the bottle shooting. I'm pretty sure you were there, Jane." He chuckled, unsure if this was something to joke about, or if he was possibly missing something important.
"No, I mean now. Marry me. Right here, right now." The words came out in a rush as she pulled him impossibly closer.
"Can we even do that? Aren't there, you know, rules and requirements and things like that?" Garrus pointed out, but Jane gave a quick toss of her shoulders.
"We'll find someone who's been ordained, or whatever is needed. I don't care." Jane said hurriedly as she gestured out behind her at the camp beyond. Something seemed to occur to her, her eyes going wide as she leaned back on to the heels of her feet.
"What is it?" Garrus asked hesitantly as she turned to look toward the shattered doorway she'd entered through.
"Anderson. He's an admiral."
"I had noticed, yes." Garrus snorted, causing Jane to roll her eyes as she looked back at him.
"In the Alliance, admirals are permitted to serve as judges in certain circumstances. Judges are allowed to officiate a marriage." A smile stretched across her face, her eyes brightening as she gave him a gentle tug. "Let's go ask if Anderson can marry us."
Garrus hesitated for a moment, the unfamiliar buzz of Jane's near-frantic aura setting him off balance. There was a brightness in her eyes he wasn't used to, but he recognized it as the same quality he'd seen in the face of everyone he'd said goodbye to that day. There was something about standing on the precipice of darkness, the void of the unknown awaiting your final step. It made you see your life from a new perspective. It made you evaluate what you held dear, what you'd done with your life, and what could be waiting for you over the horizon, if only-
If only you could survive.
Despite Jane's earlier promises that they would live through this mission, underneath her outward show of confidence, there remained the same fear that everyone else in this camp held. The same fear he himself harbored at his core. The fear if that if they didn't get to do this now, they would never get the chance after today.
"Okay." Garrus' mandibles flared as he smiled, grasping her hand firmly. "Let's do it."
Jane's face lit up like a supernova and she took off toward the door, dragging him behind. He let her pull him through the door and together they quickly navigated the pile of debris that was surviving as a makeshift stairway down to street level. Gravel and chunks of concrete shifted as they stumbled, laughing quietly and grabbing hold of each other as they finally reached the ground.
They were off again, Jane tugging him along in the right direction, and Garrus couldn't help the smile on his face even amidst the weight of the terrified atmosphere around them. He couldn't see any of it, not the long faces, not the destruction, not the glows of the fires. All he could see was the beautiful woman who wanted to spend her life with him, however long that would be.
"Anderson!" Jane called out as they entered a burned out building that currently housed the camp's QEC. The human admiral stepped back from his conversation with the man operating the device, his expression morphing into one of confusion as he registered them both hurrying into the room.
"How can I help you both?" Anderson asked with a quirked brow as his gaze jumped between them. Jane shot Garrus a quick smile, which he returned, their hands still firmly clasped.
"As an Alliance admiral, are you able to marry us?" Anderson drew back, his eyes displaying his surprise as his mouth dropped open. Whatever he had been expecting, it hadn't been this.
"No… I don't believe so. I-" He began, but Jane turned with a frustrated hiss before he could continue.
"Shit. Then who…?" She trailed off as she turned, her brow drawn in concentration as her mind raced. Without warning, she dropped Garrus' hand and ran to the door. "John! Get in here!"
Shepard, who had been in deep conversation with Ashley nearby, lifted his head to look their way with a questioning tilt of his head. Jane waved him in, and after motioning for Ashley to wait, Shepard made his way into the room.
"What's up, Jane?"
"You're the captain of our ship, are you able to marry us?" Jane asked sharply as she jabbed a finger in his chest. The myriad of confused emotions that flashed across Shepard's face as he processed the question was nearly comical.
"I… what?" The cogs in his brain continued spinning as his eyes widened and he looked between Garrus and Jane in amazement. "You guys are getting married?" Shepard's voice jumped both in pitch and volume as understanding dawned, his excitement blooming across his face.
"Yes," Jane's hand flicked through the air as though to swipe that one minor fact aside, "if you're able to officiate it." Shepard's cheer dimmed as he considered.
"Jane, even if I understood all the laws and requirements surrounding marriages, which I don't, Alliance officers are forbidden from conducting them as a matter of policy unless they hold other qualifications. You should know that." He sighed as he shrugged in defeat. "Plus, we're not even aboard the Normandy."
Jane's shoulders slumped, her hand coming up to rest above her chest where Garrus knew the ring rested. He brought his hand up to rest on her arm and gave it a quick squeeze. He was about to offer her what comfort he could, that perhaps now just wasn't the right moment, or that they would have another chance at some point, but he was interrupted by a quiet clearing of someone's throat.
Garrus, Jane, Shepard, and Anderson all spun to look at the QEC operator who stood awkwardly nearby.
"If you're looking to get married, I might be able to help."
"What? How?" Jane asked, the intensity back in her voice as she turned to face him fully. He seemed to hesitate as he took in all the eyes watching him intently. After swallowing his nerves, he explained.
"Well, technically I'm an Alliance notary public in addition to my other responsibilities. I don't know about the British laws here in London, but I can officiate a ceremony following laws and regulations under the Systems Alliance charter. That should cover your bases." He trailed off as he glanced about the destroyed room. "I can file the necessary paperwork, though I don't know how legally binding it will be at the moment. I don't think there's anyone manning the legal office that receives and approves marriage certificates at the moment."
"That's fine! That's good enough." Jane grinned as she looked back at Garrus with a smile so bright and relieved that his stomach fluttered and seized.
"Hold up. Is it really that simple? I thought there was more to getting married than that. Aren't there complicated laws and requirements or something?" Shepard mused as he brought a hand up to stroke his chin. Jane raised an eyebrow at him in amusement.
"John, those sappy romance novels you don't want anyone to know you adore?" She began as she crossed her arms, leaning back on one leg as she grinned, "They're absolutely ancient. It doesn't work like that anymore." An embarrassed pink flushed across Shepard's cheeks, but he didn't have time to retort before Jane had turned her attention to Garrus as she extended her hand out to him. "You ready?"
"To spend the rest of eternity with the love of my life?" He took her hand, holding it firmly as he gazed into her bright eyes and attempted not to lose himself. "Always."
"We're going to need two witnesses." The QEC operator stated as he pulled up his omni-tool and began flicking through the interface. "Commander, Admiral, would you both be willing to stand witness?"
"To the marriage of my best friend and my baby sister?" Shepard grinned as he brought his hands up, resting one upon Garrus' shoulder, and one upon Jane's. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."
"It would be my honor." Anderson smiled gently as he removed his hat, folding his hands before him respectfully.
"Okay then. If I can have you two come stand over here on either side-" The operator began gesturing around the small space, "And then you two-" He waved his hand to Jane and Garrus, pointing to a spot on the floor, "stand here. Did you want to say your own vows, or just the simple call and repeat?"
"Uhh…" Garrus turned to Jane, who stood just beside him as they positioned themselves before the operator. Despite his research on human proposals, he knew nothing about their wedding customs.
"We'll come up with something," Jane stated confidently. "It's just like a promise we make to each other. I'm sure you can come up with something, it doesn't really make a difference to me. Anything will do."
"If you're sure." He chuckled, and the operator began explaining how the small service would work. They held each other's hands as they stood before him, listening, but Garrus felt like he hardly processed any of the directions. It didn't matter whose customs they were following, he was about to be bonded to Jane Shepard, the love of his life, the most astounding, amazing, beautiful woman in the entire galaxy. He could hardly believe his luck. He knew he was grinning from mandible to mandible, and he couldn't help himself.
Around them, the world was ending. But here, in this small, half destroyed room, he had everything he needed.
Their eyes locked, and it was like no one else existed in the galaxy besides them. She wore her battered, bloody armor, but she might as well have been wearing the most beautiful of human dresses for all it mattered. They were exhausted, faced with insurmountable odds, and yet in this instant, he felt a wave of energized contentment wash over him.
"Garrus." He looked up as the operator said his name, and realized it had begun. "Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to love and to comfort, to honor and to keep, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for as long as you both shall live?"
This was it. This was really happening. "I do." Garrus stated solemnly as he turned back to Jane, and she gripped his hand tighter. Just over Jane's shoulder, he could see Shepard's watery smile.
"And, Jane." She looked up at her name, listening intently as the operator repeated the same question to her.
"I do." She stated with firm conviction.
"And now, you may exchange your vows." The operator looked to Garrus first, and he felt a moment of panic. But when he opened his mouth, the words seemed to come of their own accord.
"Jane, I swear to you that no matter what, I will have your back. Both on and off the battlefield, no matter where life leads us. Here, against the Reapers, and later when we're relaxing somewhere warm and tropical. Whatever happens, we're a team, and we'll face it together." He paused, leaning forward as he took her other hand as well, clutching them both like a lifeline. "And I know this is probably not how this works, but I have an order for you." He leaned in closer, his words a harsh whisper, "Come back alive. It'd be an awfully empty galaxy without you."
Jane's breath hitched in her chest as she inhaled sharply, their gaze never breaking. They stood there in silence for a moment until she swallowed and began.
"I never thought I'd have a partner like you. My equal, my match, my other half. I've said it before and I'm sure I'll say it again, but I don't know what I'd do without you. I promise that I'll spend the rest of my life trying to deserve you." With that, she leaned forward, their foreheads pressing against each other's. "And if, after today, I'm up there in that bar and you're not— I'll be looking down." Her voice was thick, heavy with emotion as she struggled to continue. "You'll never be alone."
Garrus shut his eyes as he nuzzled against her, his throat suddenly too tight for words.
"Never." He finally murmured as his heart ached, the bittersweetness of this final goodbye crushing what was left of his poise and self control. His subvocals hummed in the silence, broken and mournful as he clung to Jane, his single mooring point as the storm washed over him.
"By the power vested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss." The words seemed to echo in the small room as Jane leaned forward, pressing her lips to Garrus' mouth plates in a slow, soft kiss.
"Don't you dare go where I can't follow." Garrus breathed as they broke apart, but Jane's only response was a gentle squeeze of his hands.
Somewhere, the thrum of a Reaper cannon broke the silence, and in the distance another building crashed to the ground in a fiery explosion of dust and debris. Their little bubble of peace held as they clung to each other desperately. But outside, time ticked onward, and with it came the end they all knew was rushing ever closer on silent wings.
(Note: Credit to The 8-Bit Big Band on Youtube for the lyrics to Mordin's extended song down below. If you haven't heard their rendition, please check it out. It's absolutely fantastic.
This is it, everyone. The next chapter is the finale. The end. The big one. I'm so excited to share it with you all. There will be an Epilogue afterwards that will hopefully tie up the loose ends. Thank you, everyone, for your patience and your support through all of this!)