Fairytale of Doom
By CrimsonStarbird
Chapter Twenty-Nine – The Parts We're Meant To Play
High above the ground, where the grandiose architecture of the Beast's Castle yielded to the influence of the Tower of Heaven, just as dragging her and her friends in from Fiore had derailed the beautiful stories she'd grown up with, Levy had found her way onto a ledge that spiralled up around a tower.
When she'd first sat down, her back to the outside wall and the breeze stirring her hair, the edge had been an awfully long way away. Now, it seemed to creep closer every time she took her eyes off it.
It was, in a strange way, comforting. The more like an eerie nightmare this place appeared, the easier it was to pretend it wasn't real. The Beast's Castle – Belle's future home – haunted her. The Tower of Heaven, however, was someone else's mistake.
She was huddled up, knees pulled to her chest, toes tucked in, making herself as small as possible, for while she didn't believe that the stone walkway was really shrinking, it wouldn't hurt to be on the safe side.
She wanted to cry, but how could she? It wasn't her heart that had been trampled on.
Even now, a part of her was desperate to go back down there and apologize, to take it all back, to blame it on this world's pressure or a nervous breakdown or anything that would just return things to the way they had been before. Gajeel wouldn't hold it against her. He didn't know her well enough to suspect this was anything more than anxiety at having to kiss in front of a crowd. Then she could go back with him, her boyfriend of over a year, and save the guild and have her happy ending and…
She didn't move.
Still couldn't cry.
She was stuck, her mind and body having shut down halfway through the worst decision of her life. She'd started the avalanche, and now she was tumbling down the mountain with it. The only thing she could still control was which part of her body would hit the ground first.
The pain wouldn't be the worst of it. Disaster would follow inevitably: her actions were destroying her friends' hopes, any chance of rescuing the guild back in Fiore, Gajeel…
She could still go back and stop it.
She couldn't, though.
She was still there, hunched over on that ledge, when she heard his footsteps. She knew she was only hearing them because he wanted her to – this had never stopped being his domain, no matter how hard he tried to leave it behind; the very fact that it had materialized in this world was proof of that. It was advance warning for her, and a choice: she didn't have to have this conversation if she didn't want to.
Or perhaps it was simply the fact that he was always either in absolute control or extremely awkward, with nothing in between, and this wasn't the place for the former.
When she looked up, Jellal stopped at once. "Lucy told me to come after you," he explained apologetically. "I can go if you'd prefer to be left alone."
The last time they'd spoken like this, just the two of them, he had broken down because he knew he couldn't save Erza from this world.
Now here she was, unable to save Gajeel.
Either Lucy had been listening in on some very private conversations, or she had an exceptional intuition when it came to everyone's relationships except her own.
"Please stay," she murmured.
Jellal sat beside her, back to the wall, legs outstretched. Strange, the edge looked further away again now. Maybe it was having his feet as a point of reference that did it.
She said, softly, "I finally realized why I'm Mulan."
"Oh?" If he was surprised by the way she had started, he gave no sign of it – nothing but genuine curiosity towards the puzzle they had failed to solve before.
"It's easy to see Mulan as this awesome warrior princess who ran away to join the war and proved that women can fight as well as men," she began hollowly, and he nodded, having picked up as much from the stories she had told him already. "Especially when compared with some of the other classic heroines. But… that's not really what her story is about. Mulan isn't trying to prove a point about female fighters; she does everything she can to avoid detection. And nor could she change people's opinions so easily – she's not even that great a fighter! She almost gets sent home in disgrace because she's so far behind the others, and has to make up for it by using her wits. Yes, she improves significantly over the course of the story, but she's no Erza! Mulan… never wanted to go to war. She goes because she has to. It's the only way to save her father from conscription."
She took a deep breath and forced herself to slow.
"Mulan is a story about duty. It's never about what the heroine wants, but about what she feels she has to do. The story even starts with her getting dressed up to visit the matchmaker! She's not cut out to be a bride, she doesn't want that role any more than she dreams of being a soldier, but she does her best anyway, because she believes it's her duty to bring honour to her family. If she had just been a little better at it, she'd have been married off in scene one and the kingdom would have fallen to the Huns! She does her duty, whatever that may be."
"And you?" he prompted softly.
She drew herself in tighter. Twenty-four hours ago, she wouldn't even have admitted this to herself, and yet she felt that if there was anyone to whom she could say it, it was the man who had trusted her with the burden of his own guilt.
"I didn't want to forgive Gajeel," she whispered. "Not so quickly, not so easily. What he did when he was in Phantom Lord really scared me. He made me feel like I was nothing. And then he turned up just a few days later at the guild, apparently one of us now, and I got no say in it. I didn't want to forgive him. I didn't think it was right.
"But," she added, exhaling slowly, "I felt like I had to. Not because anyone was making me, but because it was my duty. Gajeel was trying to turn over a new leaf. He needed acceptance in order to believe that he could be a better person, to feel that starting over down a more difficult path through life was worth it. I was the one he had wronged. I was the one with the power to open that door for him. That was my role in his redemption story. So I acted as though nothing had ever happened between us when I helped him and Natsu escape the guildhall in the Battle of Fairy Tail; I went with him to Tenrou Island. I had a duty to do so. You understand, don't you?"
"I do." Because he had spent eight years in that limbo between hell and absolution, his future at the mercy of a woman whose principles and personal morality would always come before anything else.
Slowly, Levy nodded. "So I forgave him, without reservation, without any proof that he would follow through on his promise to change. And it was the best decision I ever made."
He shot her a surprised look, and a wan smile tried to turn her lips. "Because of it, I got to know the man behind the mask of black steel. Because of it, I saw his iron heart melt and welcome others in; I saw him transform from Fairy Tail's enemy to the guild's most loyal protector. Because of it… I got to fall in love." This time, she did not smile at all. "Forgiving him was unequivocally the best decision of my life. But I didn't make it for the right reasons."
"Does it matter?" Jellal wondered. "Whatever the reason behind the decision, seeing it through was what took strength."
"It matters," she answered, heavily, "because when I look back, it has always shaped everything between us."
She knew he didn't understand, but she could not fault his patience. It was her fingers that drummed on the ledge beneath them; her thoughts that struggled to express themselves out loud.
No, that wasn't true. She could say it easily. What she struggled with was saying it in a way that didn't cast blame, that didn't make her seem ungrateful, that didn't overlook the fact that she had been in love, and had been happy, and yet still wanted more.
But to Jellal, who had admitted his own selfishness beneath the judgemental moon of a world where love was supposed to conquer all, perhaps she could, at last, be honest.
"Ever since he fell for me, and I for him, that's been my role," she explained, the words hollow, because she couldn't trust what emotion would creep into them if she allowed it. "Gajeel's girlfriend. His reason to stay on the straight and narrow. My love is his karmic reward for being good. I was nominated for the S-Class Trials, and somehow it still became about him, my partner. He wouldn't let me fight by his side against Bloodman, always pushing me away, because I'm not a mage any more, not the leader of Team Shadow Gear – I'm his thing to protect. What I want doesn't matter. Only my relationship does."
And maybe she wouldn't have noticed how much it was wearing her down, until she had ended up on an accidental adventure with a man who had trusted her to face Maleficent alone, knowing it was the most logical division of labour on their mission to rescue Lucy.
"You told me, ages ago, that you didn't think I was being honest with myself about Gajeel. I think you're partly right. I love him, but I don't love us – what he makes of me; what we are together. I didn't think it mattered. But now, maybe, it does."
Jellal was quiet. She couldn't blame him; what did you say when someone you hardly knew spilled their heart out to you?
She shouldn't have done it. She shouldn't have put it on his shoulders. No, she shouldn't have given voice to these feelings at all. She should just have gone back downstairs and pretended that her hesitation was just nerves and embrace her happy ending-
"Tell me," Jellal said softly, with those eyes that saw straight through her, to the doubts and selfishness she tried to hide. "Please."
If it was his dangerous political skillset that could tell when she was hiding something, then it was the kindred soul that shared her flawed humanity that drew it out of her. He was far too close to the darkness inside; he did not expect her to be perfect or innocent, because he knew that no one ever could be. It was the struggle to be better that mattered, and no one could start that journey without first accepting their flaws.
He persisted, "Why were you so reluctant to see Gajeel when you appeared in this world? It wasn't just awkwardness over his confession as he thought he was dying against the demon, was it?"
"No… it wasn't. He, with all his heart, had told me about the future he had seen for us; about how it was me that made him turn from his wild ways and desire a normal life, a relationship, a family, children – everything he'd assumed he could never have. Hearing all that as he was dragged away from me… it was heart-breaking. I didn't know how I would go on. But then the world turned upside down, and Gajeel was alive, and I heard his voice rallying the guild… and I had never been so happy in my life.
"But then things flipped again, and we ended up here. The breakneck pace of the Alvarez War fell away. We were in a new world, a simpler world, at the very start of classic fairytales we knew we'd have to see through for any chance of returning to that chaos. There was space for me to step back. To breathe. To think. To understand the consequences of a deathbed vow in a world where life goes on. And I realized that the future he was fighting for, the hope that had carried him through hell – marriage, kids, the wonder of normalcy – wasn't my future."
"Reality is never so straightforward, is it?" Jellal sighed sympathetically.
"No. I told you how we just kind of fell into a relationship when the guild disbanded, didn't I? It was all about how we felt in the moment. We'd never talked about the future. I thought we'd take it as it came; feel our way towards what was right together. But on the day he almost died, I realized that Gajeel had our future all planned out. And he'd never stopped to wonder if it was what I wanted too."
"And it isn't?"
Levy shook her head, as if to try and dislodge the tears that threatened and threatened but never quite arrived. "I'm not ready to settle down yet. I like the chaos, the excitement, the battles, the constant strive to become stronger. Just because the Dragon Slayers have overshadowed the rest of us in recent years doesn't mean I don't still dream of being S-Class! I want to keep fighting, I want to keep causing trouble, I want to keep living each day as though Acnologia could obliterate us all tomorrow! I don't want to be something he protects; I want to fight dragons with my own two hands! I don't want to be normal!
"As for whether I want kids – I don't know, maybe? But not now. Not for at least another ten years. Gajeel… doesn't want to wait. And he assumes I won't either. Because that's how our story goes: mistake, redemption, love, marriage, kids, happily ever after. Except it's not our story. It's his story. One in which I just play a supporting role.
"And the thing is, even if he asked me about it, I know I wouldn't say no. I'd tell him I wanted the same as him. Because I know it would make him so happy, and the fact that all my life goals might be quietly stepping aside to make room for his doesn't matter, because when Gajeel is happy, I'm happy. I really am. I'm not being forced into anything. I know I'd come to love that life, the way I came to love him. But I'm doing it because it's my duty to be his light, his hope, his happy ending… not because it's what I would have chosen for myself."
She gave a smile that cut deep into her own heart, spilled the truth of herself within a pool of blood. "That's why I could never have been cast as Belle. I probably wouldn't have been able to turn down Gaston's marriage proposal."
"You would have done," he said vehemently. "You're so much more than that foolish villain deserves."
Her smile was still far too sharp. "Maybe. But what if I could change him? Sure, I'd be giving up my dreams of adventure to be his little wife, but maybe all he needed was someone who could show him how wrong he was. Maybe, by slowly converting his backwards views on women, I could change not only him for the better, but the whole village that respected him. After all, when Belle rejected him, he roused an angry mob and led them to their doom against the castle. It would be so easy for me to prevent that, to win a better future for everyone, so wouldn't I at least have a duty to try?"
"Gajeel is no Gaston, though," he argued. "Couldn't you talk to him about it?"
"The same way you talked to Erza about how her shame of being friends with you was destroying you?"
He flinched, though he didn't look annoyed. If anything, the use of his own confession against him seemed to impress him. "You know as well as I do that how Erza feels cannot be resolved through discussion and compromise. Your goals for the future, though…"
"I know how much Gajeel wants it," she murmured. "It was the place his heart went when he felt his time was up. He's in love with the idea of me – a connection, a redemption, enemies-to-lovers, the worst part of his life becoming his best – rather than with me, imperfect, selfish, wanting to be more than he makes me. It's breaking the real me to be with him… but it would shatter him to be with the real me. He'll always hold me back, without ever realizing he's doing it."
She was shaking, now. "But I could do it," she whispered. "I could go down there and kiss him and we'd both go back home. I know, if I made the choice to be with him despite everything, that it would work. We could warn the guild back home. We could even try and reverse the spell that trapped everyone in here from the outside. And… and I wouldn't have disappointed him, I wouldn't have broken his heart, I would have fulfilled my role in his story, done my duty. I should just-"
"Don't you dare."
Levy did not recall getting to her feet, but she knew the moment his hand wrapped around her wrist. It was a tether as the winds buffeted the Tower; it was an anchor as her happily ever after careened towards the sheer drop ahead; it was one thing she had when all else was falling away.
He, who had weathered far greater storms than that of her heart, remained resolute, unwavering. "Must I repeat to you the words you said to me? You gave him forgiveness. You do not owe him your heart. You have done enough for him, Levy."
"I wish it had worked out for us," she sobbed. "I wish that I had wanted the same thing as him. I wish that I didn't have to walk away from him just to be myself."
"I wish that you didn't have to feel this way just for choosing your own future," he murmured. "But I have spent enough time there to know that guilt is not so easily defeated."
"Does it… get any easier?"
"It hasn't. Not yet. But it helps to know that I am not the only one who feels like this."
She could no longer stand it. She turned away from him, staring out over the edge of the Tower and towards the gardens of the Beast's Castle below.
Down there, somewhere, Belle and her Beast had come to love each other through snowball fights and tender moments, a love pure enough to break a cruel curse. From up here, those famous gardens looked so small. The ornate hedges may as well have been toys. The true love they had nurtured was an equally childish concept.
That was why she cried.
Hers was not the heart broken, but she mourned the loss of something far greater.
"I loved him," she sobbed. "I was so happy with him… I learnt so much about myself, about being in a relationship… I learnt what it meant to be treasured. I owe him so much…"
"You don't owe him your future," Jellal reminded her.
She wouldn't have believed him, but she had believed it when she had said those words to him, and weren't they both the same?
"I know," she murmured, knowing that she wasn't alone.
The winds of the Tower spread the flames further along the bridge she had assumed she would walk until she was grey and old. Ashes fell like rain upon the walls of the paradise she had almost sacrificed her dreams to enter. One day, perhaps they'd rise, but phoenixes could incubate for a very long time in guilt and shadow.
They'd be patient. Not expecting too much of themselves too soon. Understanding that not everyone would understand their decisions.
But sometimes, love wasn't the answer, and what had once been the right thing for them might not always be right. The future was open for her now, just like it was for him, and one step at a time, they would find a new way forward.
Never before had Lucy known a room full of Fairy Tail mages to be so quiet.
The staggering might of the Alvarez Empire had not silenced them; the eve of war had thrummed with solidarity. As battle had loomed, they'd shared their dreams of the future, built a tomorrow worth fighting for out of their promises, and charged towards it at full speed.
Now, no one seemed to know where to go.
These childish fairytales had accomplished what all the evil of the world could not.
Gajeel sat silently at the dining table – not upset, not raging, but shellshocked. Lucy had got too close to him, once, and she'd been able to hear the ringing in his ears, feel the blinding surge of his world exploding around him. She'd not dared go near him since.
Cana was sat with Juvia as far from everyone else as possible, though she threw the odd appraising glance over her shoulder at Laxus, perhaps trying to determine whether the fairytale world's decree was enough to make up for a complete lack of romantic attraction… as if she didn't realize, even with one arm around Juvia, that that way of thinking was half the problem.
Juvia herself was sniffing silently, looking everywhere except at Gray. The ice mage had his head in his hands, looking at nothing at all.
Lucy watched as Jellal and Levy re-entered the Beast's dining hall. Levy had clearly been crying, too. Jellal wasn't looking at her, wasn't hovering too closely, but he wasn't looking at Erza, either; yet another teammate who was finding the long wooden table inordinately fascinating, even though it wasn't even one of the animated ones.
Laxus sat on his own, arms folded, as if bored by the proceedings. He had to look bored, Lucy thought. Acting like he was above it was the only way to deal with the fact that he had been thoroughly left out of it.
And Natsu… Natsu was pacing.
That scared Lucy more than Juvia's tears or Gajeel's utter dissociation. When did Natsu pace? He ran in and set things on fire. He didn't think things through.
And what did he have to think about, anyway? He was the only member of their little gang who had nothing to worry about – he'd said his piece, she'd been mature about it, and they'd moved on. Yet somehow, he looked crazy deep in thought, buried so far into the crags and furrows of his brow that she almost didn't recognize him-
Lucy jumped a mile at the sound of an armoured fist slamming down onto the table.
"Pull yourselves together," Erza ordered.
Gray flinched. Juvia's silent sobs intensified. Gajeel did not react at all.
"Look at yourselves," Erza snapped. "Is this how Fairy Tail mages act when an enemy gets the better of them? Are we going to sit around and mope while villains run off with Fairy Heart and our friends are faltering in the war at home? Do better, all of you!"
Lucy felt her spirits slip entirely beneath the waves.
This was the last thing her heartbroken friends needed: Erza with her armour drawn tight around her, heart shut down, feelings buried beneath recklessness and bad decisions, lacking the empathy to understand why her friends couldn't just lock their love away like she did.
"Get up and arm yourselves. Every moment we waste here is a moment that the villains get further away with our guild's magic. We're going after them, now, and we'll use their method of escaping this world to go home."
Natsu stopped pacing suddenly and turned to face Erza. "No," he asserted.
Lucy bit her lip. As much as she'd been hoping someone might stand up to a grief-stricken Erza and talk some sense into her, Natsu's wasn't the first name that came to mind when she prayed for 'common sense'.
"Natsu…" Erza rumbled warningly.
"I'm not going after the pieces of Fairy Heart. Not yet, anyway," Natsu told them. "I'm gonna rescue Zeref first."
There was silence.
Then there wasn't. Now it sounded like ten Fairy Tail mages in a room again, except there was nothing good-natured about this brawl.
"Are you out of your mind?" Cana demanded. "Why would we rescue the man who's trying to kill us all?"
"I don't recall asking you to come with me," Natsu swiped back. "I'll do it myself."
"No one is rescuing Zeref," Erza overrode them all. "We finally have the Black Mage where we want him. Remaining a prisoner of these villains in a world without magic, where he can never cause harm again, is a fitting end for his evil schemes."
"I ain't letting that happen," Natsu vowed stubbornly.
"Natsu?" All eyes were on Lucy, now, as she bravely spoke up. She'd never felt so on-edge around her own guild, like she couldn't tell her friends apart from sharks in this surging maelstrom of emotion. "Why would you say that? After everything Zeref has done to you- everything he threatened you with-"
"It's obvious, isn't it?" Gray's sneer was cold, his eyes dangerous. "This is END talking."
"Gray!" In her outrage, Lucy's voice came out as loud as Erza's. "Natsu is still Natsu. That hasn't changed."
"I don't know how you can say that, when you're literally carrying the proof that our Natsu never even existed in your bag."
"That's unfair, and you know it!" she snapped back.
"I don't care what any of you think," Natsu interrupted. "I'm going, and that's that."
It was impressive how an angry Erza managed to tower over people who on any other day would have been taller than her. "No, you're not."
The dragon's son bared his teeth. "You're not the boss of me!"
"No," Gray retorted, his lip curling. "You've made it very clear that Zeref is."
"Gray, that's uncalled for!" Lucy fumed. "Don't you think you've hurt enough people today?"
It was Cana who jumped into the fray, as Gray flinched back. "Don't drag Gray's relationships into this. Anyone can see that him turning Juvia down was long overdue."
"Oi!" Gajeel's fist slamming the table would have scattered the cutlery if it hadn't all run for cover long ago. "You have some nerve, makin' out like breakin' Juvia's heart was the sensible thing to do!"
"Gray explained perfectly well why a relationship wasn't going to work between them," Cana retorted. "Which was more than you got. What does that tell you?"
"You-"
"That. Is. Enough."
The interruption wasn't loud, but it silenced them anyway.
They'd been expecting Erza to go off on one or Natsu to let his fists finish the argument, and the quietly deafening rumble of thunder had all of them turning to Laxus as he pushed back his chair at last and stood.
Only Erza barely spared him a glance. "Stay out of this."
"No." Laxus didn't need to be bold or defiant to stand up to Erza. He had always been a force of nature; ranting and raving would not budge a thundercloud.
"You've had no problem staying out of everything so far," she sniped.
"Until now, you've never come so close to destroying everything you care about because you're upset about something completely irrelevant," he countered. "That's what this is really about, isn't it? You're heartbroken, and that's all you're thinking about, the lot of you."
"No, we've got to go and recover Fairy Heart-"
"No, Erza. It's one thing putting yourself in harm's way, but it's quite another when it's the team you're purporting to lead. You're in no state to do this right now – and neither is anyone else. Honestly, I'm stuck in a bloody fairytale world with a bunch of lovesick teenagers."
Jellal wouldn't have spoken up against Erza, but he would for her: "I hardly think this is the best time for-"
"Yeah, I'm including you in that, timeskip or no timeskip, after the mess you've made," Laxus cut across him.
Jellal's eyes narrowed a little, but he didn't contest it.
"Look at you all," Laxus continued flatly. "Half of you have had your hearts broken, and the other half are tearing yourselves up over the fact that you had to wield the hammer. It hurts. I know. It sucks when a relationship doesn't work out. But, guess what? That's what happens in real life."
The words were harsh, but not cutting. Not like they might have expected from the man who had orchestrated the Battle of Fairy Tail.
Maybe that was why no one argued back. Everyone was listening to him, now.
"It may come as a surprise to you, but most people don't marry their childhood sweethearts. Most people don't meet the love of their life at sixteen. Most people have several relationships over the course of their life. And there's nothing wrong with that. People change. People grow up and realize they want different things. Circumstances push perfect couples apart. That's life, and life is no fairytale."
He shrugged, before elaborating, "Sometimes, your mother wakes up one day and realizes she made a mistake in marrying your prick of a father, and she walks out, and that's it, you never see her again. Sometimes, the woman you like suffers a terrible loss and it changes her – and you still respect the person she's become, you're still glad to be her friend, but she's not the woman you fell for any more."
They'd all laughed off Cana's reaction to finding out who her 'true love' was supposed to be, and for the first time, Lucy wondered how forced Laxus's non-reaction had been; whether there was someone he had been hoping to meet in this world after all.
"And, you know what?" Laxus continued. "That's okay. To those of you who were whisked off your feet by your true love in a chance meeting at Hargeon Port – congratulations, enjoy your happily ever after. To those of you who weren't – you haven't failed. Fairytales aren't the be all and end all of romance. They're just stories for children! Love isn't any less real, just because it's finite. A relationship isn't a failure just because it ended. Think about the times you shared together, the new things you experienced, everything you learnt about yourself, and the bonds of friendship and trust that can persist beyond separation if you want them to. That is a strength that fairytales and their happy endings won't teach you, but it will be the foundation for a far stronger relationship going forward."
Faced with eyes made bright by tears, he let out a long breath.
He murmured, "Yeah, I know. It's easy for me to say that; I've not just had my dreams trampled by a stupid fairytale. Right now, it feels like the world is ending for you. I know, I've been there. I'm not going to tell you you're wrong for feeling that way. But I will tell you that it will pass. You're kids, the lot of you – but one day you won't be, and you'll look back at your first real relationship with fondness and gratitude for what it taught you. You're some of the strongest people I know. This won't beat you."
He folded his arms. "Look, I'm not going to tell you to cheer up or get over it. I know how much it hurts, and you're damn well allowed to cry if you want to. But life doesn't begin and end with your heartbreak either. Look at the friends who are helping you through it. Look at the mark of the guild that will be there for you no matter who you're dating. We need you. We don't expect you to be at your best, but we need you. Will you put this aside until we're all home safe and sound?"
"Yeah." Gray spoke up first, while shifting somewhat guiltily on the spot. "Goes without saying, doesn't it?"
"The guild comes first," Cana nodded.
"Our friends and family do," Lucy amended. "We've lost a lot, but we've got so much more worth fighting for."
Even Gajeel tried to crack a smile. "Lemme at the bad guys. I'll take it out on them instead."
"I want us all to go home together," Levy managed.
"Good." Laxus gave a terse nod, and turned to Natsu. "Well, now that we've all calmed down enough to have a rational discussion about it… Natsu, would you care to tell us why you want to go and rescue our enemy?"
Lucy thought he might object, but not even their troublesome Dragon Slayer was immune to the mood. There was a grim yet determined expression on his face – expecting trouble, but facing up to it anyway.
The sentiment wasn't rare from the Dragon Slayer, but the maturity was.
"Thing is, Zeref didn't tell you the whole truth," Natsu began. "Yeah, I'm END. But I used to be properly human. Long ago, I died, and Zeref brought me back to life in the only way possible, by making me part demon."
"Why would he do that?" Lucy wondered. There was no horror in her voice this time – only curiosity. A puzzle piece that didn't quite fit.
He met her gaze steadily. She could see the trust smouldering gently in his eyes, like a hearth, like a home. And although she knew that her old crush would never be realized, she could glimpse the future that Laxus, older and wiser than them, had promised: their friendship was something that Lucy wouldn't give up for the world.
"Because he's my older brother," Natsu said quietly. "And he got his awful curse all because of what he did to bring me back to life."
"Natsu…" Lucy didn't know how to put her concerns into words. Nothing he had said matched up with what she had seen Zeref do, but at the same time, Natsu was so sure, his every word a painful confession, and she didn't want him to think that she didn't believe him after opening his heart.
"Go on, Luce. Ask. It's okay. I should've come clean to you all about this a long time ago."
"It's just… he was threatening you," she pointed out lamely. "He was going to use that book to rewrite who you were…"
"He wouldn't have gone through with it. He was bluffing. I tried to tell you, but none of you had the guts to call it." He drew in a deep breath and stood a little straighter, as the candleflame shone unwavering in his eyes. "Well, don't think I'm not grateful that you were trying to protect me, even after learning what I am. But next time Zeref tries to use me as a hostage, just punch him. He won't hurt me."
"Natsu."
This was Erza, and Lucy found herself tensing, ready for another confrontation, even though Natsu himself looked calm. He was resolved, she realized. No one would stand in his way, and his fists weren't the only way he would enforce that. She almost couldn't believe that it was Laxus of all people he had learnt it from. Then she looked at him, keeping a watchful eye on proceedings but not intervening unless he had to, and she found that she could believe it.
"I understand why you might feel obliged to help him," Erza ventured, hesitant not because she doubted herself, but because she too could listen and learn. "But Zeref is trying to destroy our guild. We are at war, and correct me if I'm wrong, but he has given no indication that that is going to change when we get back to our own world."
"Yeah, I know," Natsu nodded. "But I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. I will fight him to save the guild – don't ever doubt that. But I'm not leaving him behind in this place. No one deserves that."
"Why didn't you tell us?" Gray demanded. "About END, or Zeref, or any of this unbelievable stuff?"
Lucy spoke up for him. "You didn't know, did you?"
"I didn't," he confirmed. "I only found out when I went to fight him with Happy. I didn't tell you afterwards because… well, it didn't matter to me. I was determined to kill him and protect my guild. Having a past I didn't remember and a brother who was trying to murder my real family didn't change that."
Softly, Lucy prompted, "So what did change it?"
"It's easy to wish someone dead when they're just the villain of a bedtime story," Natsu murmured. "It's harder when you've been on adventures together, saved each other, been the source of their smile."
He looked away. "It was easy to dismiss the fact that I allegedly had an older brother before he started acting like one."
"Natsu…" Once again, Lucy didn't know what to say. She couldn't imagine what it was like to gain a sibling and lose them just as quickly; to hold feelings for someone that no one else could understand.
"Since we got here, I really think he's been trying to be better, for me," Natsu explained. "He's just useless at it, because he's been living as a villain for far too long. But if I keep pushing him away every time he does something wrong, he's never gonna get better at it – he'll just decide it's not worth trying, and give up. One of us has to be the bigger person, or nothing's ever going to change between us."
Raising his head, he met the gaze of everyone in the room in turn, unashamed. "Like I said, I'm not making any of you come with me. I'll go on my own, and I'll accept the consequences when we're back in Fiore. But I am not leaving him alone in a magicless world at the mercy of those villains."
Everyone looked at each other. Juvia's hand had gone to her side, where she would have bled out against Invel had this world not stolen her away; Levy's haunted gaze rested upon Gajeel, who had come closer than anyone to death against the Spriggan Twelve. Jellal's eyes were hard, remembering the vow to destroy Zeref that had sustained him throughout his exile. Erza's one working hand drummed on the hilt of her sword, counting out the strategies, the sacrifices, the hope that might yet exist for the allied forces if their immortal foe failed to return.
They all loved Natsu.
But they'd lost so much to the Black Mage Zeref already.
"I'm with you, Natsu," Laxus said.
It wasn't a dramatic declaration. He didn't stand and punch the air, or shout his resolve to the world.
He didn't need to. His certainty spoke for him.
"Why?" Natsu challenged, reflecting the others' discomfort, if for different reasons. "This has nothing to do with you."
"Because," Laxus answered, his voice becoming a little more of the drawl they were used to, "in all this romantic drama, it seems you've all forgotten that fairytales aren't just about finding true love. Fundamentally, they're stories of good versus evil. Right versus wrong."
His gaze flicked from one to the next, making sure they were all listening. "No matter which story we've been cast into, whether we're mermaids, warriors, beasts, or princesses, we all have one thing in common: we've all been cast as the heroes and heroines of our stories. So, let's act like it. I'm with you, Natsu, because it's the right thing to do. We'll get your brother out of the villains' clutches."
For the first time since they'd been reunited in this unlucky place, a familiar grin stretched across Natsu's face. He raised his fist to meet Laxus's, and even though they had no magic here, Lucy could have sworn she saw sparks and flames dancing ever so briefly around them.
"Looks like we're all in," Lucy smiled, after a quick count of nodding heads.
Erza cautioned, "Determination is all well and good, but the fact remains that we need a plan. Do not forget that our enemies hold all the cards. Our doors won't stand for long against the might of Lady Tremaine's army, led by Gaston. And even if we could somehow escape their encirclement, they have the fragments of Fairy Heart – along with Zeref, most likely – within Lady Tremaine's own stronghold in the Glass Kingdom. We cannot besiege a castle with only ten people and no magic."
"I've been to that kingdom before," Cana pointed out thoughtfully. "The guards were talking about an imminent royal ball. Maybe that's our way into the castle. Half of us are princesses, right?"
"Of course it would be a ball." Lucy gave an alarming scowl. "Bloody fairytales."
"It won't be that easy," Erza disagreed. "Tremaine got a good look at all of us when she and the villains ambushed us. We'll never infiltrate a royal ball undetected."
"Not necessarily."
All eyes turned to Levy, who swallowed nervously before continuing.
"Well, it's just… there's one fairytale where the princess who attends the ball isn't recognized by anyone – neither the guests nor the members of her own household. Even the prince she falls in love with is only able to identify her by her shoe. If we follow that story, then…"
She tailed off anxiously.
Now everyone was looking at Lucy: the heiress who had run away from that life and not looked back; the princess who had marched out of her own story in protest; the damsel who was absolutely done with being in distress.
Somehow, she had always known it would come to this.
She closed her eyes. Breathed in. Then she stood and shook back her hair with all the dignity she could muster, no matter how hard this fairytale world tried to rip it away from her.
"Right, then," Lucy announced. "Time for Cinderella to go to the ball."
A/N: Thanks so much for all your comments and support after last week's chapter!
And yes, I think many of you called it - the finale of this story is absolutely going to involve a royal ball, and poor old Lucy is going to have to dance at it. Just when she thought she'd got away from her fate, mwahaha... ~CS