Hello everyone! Yes, this is a repost from AO3 under the same name and author. I'm going to upload a chapter of this fic once every few days. You may be wondering why even bother. 1 for safety purposes, 2 because a few of my readers requested it, and 3, I'm treating this as a chance to polish up some of my earlier chapters. Just fixing some grammar errors, characterization/plot continuity, and stuff of that sort.

Enjoy! :)

I am the wisest man, for I know one thing, I know nothing.

Plato, or as Caspian's friends like to call him 'That one muggle bloke who thinks too much'. Caspian wasn't sure when the joke started, but if he had to guess, it was during the 30-inch research paper on classical muggle philosophy that cemented Plato's unfortunate reputation. Which truly was unfortunate, Caspian actually admired the guy. But even he had to admit that the man did in fact think much. Caspian was never one for pranks, he left that for the Weasleys of the world. But he did enjoy Professor Mittson's stationery coming to life mid-class to enact a French-style revolution. The poor professor was forced to end the lecture early before his favourite quill got beheaded.

But back to Plato, who thought the smartest thing a person can do is admit that they know nothing at all. Well, Caspian was never one to call himself smart, clever maybe, but definitely not smart.

So here's what he knows.

Fact 1. He is currently in the back of a police car in what appears to be a heavily forested area of muggle America. Fact 2. He has no idea how he got here. Hours ago, he was treasure hunting with his friends in the Forbidden Forest because what else was a bunch of broke 5th-year students supposed to do, study? Anyhow, after spelunking through winding tunnels filled with human-sized spiders - he'd have nightmares for months - they found a vault filled with goblin gold. The last thing he remembers was looking at his pet Nifler, Gerald, whispering something along the lines of 'Why graduate now?', before he reached for a golden key and poof, both Gerald and he were here.

That brings him to fact 3. He doesn't know where here is exactly. He's established its muggle America, but something was off. His magic felt muddled like he was casting spells underwater. No matter how fast he muttered the incantations or waved his wand, it felt sluggish. He found out the hard way there were no floo powders bewitched entrances or even warded areas. Matter of fact there was no trace of wizard magic at all besides what he procured. And here he thought he touched some forgotten unsanctioned port key. He fully expected half the US Auror division on his ass in a matter of minutes. He thought maybe he'd get a good scolding by Headmistress McGonagall for breaking international laws. However, at the end of the day, he'd soon be back in the Slytherin common room.

But to his surprise, no Aurors showed up. No McGonagall or Slytherin common room. He was here, in this strange world with no magic, well very little magic at least.

"How'd ya get here kid?"

Caspian was pulled from his thoughts as he stared blankly at a pair of tired irritated eyes in the narrow mirror. He wasn't supposed to disclose his magic to muggles, but he guesses all bets were off after he publicly suspended an out-of-control car mid-flip. He was about to perform his best attempt at an Obliviation charm when the authorities arrived. The man in the mirror - who he guesses is the head of Muggle Law Enforcement - said the strangest thing which made him hesitate. "Not another one of you outcasts."

It was just enough time for Caspian to be stripped of his wand and Gerald.

"Quite honestly sir," Caspian scratched the back of his neck. "I haven't the faintest idea."

The man grunts wryly, "It seems your kind just keeps popping up more and more these days."

Caspian's eyes lit up. "My kind?".

"Uh huh, the weird kind, with all your unnatural abilities and whatnot. Dangerous abilities." The man clenches his jaw at the last part as if recalling a rather painful memory. "Sometimes I wonder if anyone else in the country has to deal with this crap every day, or if it's all cuz of that damned school in our backyard." He seemed to grumble to no one but himself.

School? Was he talking about Ilvermorny? The American wizarding school? Caspian felt a swell of hope rise in his chest. Maybe there's a chance after all! The man may be a muggle, but maybe that's how things work in America. He doesn't have the statute of secrecy memorized by heart, but perhaps there was something about allowing some muggles to know. There had to be, Right?

"And this school, are you taking me to it?" Caspian asked carefully.

"First we're gonna have a long talk with one of your teachers, then we'll decide on a proper punishment. Then and only then, will we see about you going back to school. Cuz of recent events, this could be grounds for temporary expulsion." The man sternly bit back, briefly glancing over his shoulder.

But even with the cold warning, Caspian couldn't help but slouch in relief. He can finally clear up this misunderstanding and go home. He can practically taste the butter beer from the lengthy retelling his friends will undoubtedly demand from him.

Caspian couldn't wait to speak with this professor. That and, he's pretty sure Gerald escaped a while back. Fickle creatures Nifflers are.

"Another one of your kids broke out again Weems, I thought you said you'd have your students on a tighter leash. I'm starting to question your judgment."

"How bold of you Sherrif Galpin, to speak about the judgment of children so callously. We both remember what happened last term don't we?"

Caspian heard the muffled voices grow as they approached his room. Suddenly, the door flung open.

"Wednesday Addams! I've had it up to…Oh!..." The rather tall, pale woman stilled mid-stride, the features of her indignant rage going blank. "Hello my dear, I don't believe we met…" She said slowly, eeying Caspian up and down.

Caspian returned the favour, his eyes darting from her pristine white attire to her short sleek, platinum blonde hair. She wasn't like any witch he'd ever met before.

"I caught this one on the outskirts of town. Had a whole family caravan frozen in mid-air." The man known as Sherrif Galpin stepped around her, crossing his arms.

The woman's, green eye widened, whipping her head down at the Sheriff. "He what?"

"I had to professor!" Caspian blurted out earnestly. "I know I shouldn't have but the car would've crashed..." He wasn't sure how much people saw but he was confident a family of muggles was worth a couple of well-placed Oblivations.

Weems if Caspian recalls, opened her mouth, then closed it, then opened it again. "How?" She spluttered out.

"With one of these." Sheriff Galpin sighs, procuring Caspian's wand from his pocket. "I didn't know you had goddamn sorcerers in your school now."

Weems stared at the object before slowly directing her astonished gaze back to Caspian. "Neither did I…"

Any hope Caspian had of returning home was promptly quashed as he shrank underneath her intense gaze. Looks like Plato was right after all. He, in fact, knows nothing at all about his current situation.

Not a damn thing.