Kaiserin Zero
A.N: A more serious take on the Kaiserin Zero chapters from "Kaiserin's Many Fates".
Summary: Life finally ended for one Tanya von Degurechaff, and Being X does "good" on his threat on her post-life prospects if she didn't pray to his holy ass from her own free will. Yet Afterlife seems to not be actually enough to keep Tanya off work it seems.
Chapter 1
It's a night like any other, the Capital of Germania, the core and heart of the bloc named OZEV, it was the peace before an event that marks their history for eternity, or as close to it they hoped for. The one Year of when the greatest person to ever lead them left this world. Peace, or rather, the silence of the night was as usual, almost everywhere. In Berun's National Museum, things weren't as they seemed from how calm the exterior looked like.
Inside, it was a messy all-out shootout between two or more groups. Having disguised as security and now fighting off the intruders, several Mages, Germanian ones, such oddball type of mission was clearly part of Germania's Intelligence Division field of work, the BND. Their opponents were also clearly using Magic, but not the run of the mill Orb operated spells, despite using Military grade stealth orbs and even having been granted permission to make use of Mage Rifles, the opposition was proving though.
"Uuuuuuuuu…. Why does this happens on MY FIRST DAY!"
And trying her best at staying safe, out of the hectic fighting, even though she was stuck in the most heated room of this entire fight, the storage room, specifically the maximum security one, where several items that once belonged to Germania's most beloved figure were being kept secure, the Holy Sankt Kaiserin possessions no less. Her, a measly Janitor on her first day at night shift work, stuck in a room no sane Museum Owner would be allowing to enter. The answer was simple, the roof.
Caught in their fighting above this specific room, somehow no one noticed her, one Excessive artillery blast at them by one Mage led to the hole that brought most of the combatants into this room, and the one unlucky Janitor. With no escape out this room, all she could do is bunker up where things would be the safest, or where she thought would be, which leads to her current situation, in a dusty side storage room within the maximum security one.
CRASH
"Ugh, hopefully this isn't something from the Holy Kaiserin! All this fighting is shaking the entire building!"
What just broke was a one-of-a-kind Faberge Egg, a Heirloom that somehow the Kaiserin's Wife family got out of the Russy lands when the communist revolution had happened, so it was pretty much priceless, and tied with the Kaiserin herself. Yet there's no rest for anyone caught in this mess, more explosions, more fragile materials in the side room began to drop and break into pieces. And then, a small, sturdy armored box dropped from its place in the shelf. The lock, despite its quality, broke, and allowed what it was keeping safe out, in the very center of all the broken pieces of all that had dropped before the box.
"I'm so dead…. Uuuuuu…"
The shootout was never for a moment slow, yet, something made all present stop, and look exactly at the door to where the Ms. Janitor was hiding. A light, and to the Mages, what felt like a really incredible amount of Mana, enough to scare some who thought that, yet another Mad Dog Mary had once again, been sent to attack Germania. To the Intruders however, all were flabbergasted, who would try THAT here? Where the fight was at its fiercest? Both sides wanted to stop whatever was happening, but neither wanted to open themselves to the other's attacks, and so, that sudden blinding light and absurd mana signature came to an end, to that almost broken door being kicked off for good, right into one intruder, who became red chunky salsa plastered over the wall, with the metal door stuck with him.
"What a damn bother."
The BND Mages all stopped dead on their tracks, not believing their eyes, or any of their senses at all. From the dusty side storage room, dressed in a stylized Military set of clothes, a Leather jacket, left open, an officer shirt under it, the famous Silver Wings medal was attached to it, out of norms for military dress code was the skirt, closer to what the She-Wolves of the BND used rather than even a secretary in Central HQ would be using, matching black stockings followed suit, finished by a set of black shoes with small heels.
The flowing golden blonde hair no one would mistake for anyone else's was kept in check by an officer cap, her icy blue eyes coldly scanned the room, zeroing on the intruders, who were already trying their damnest best to flee, yet all for naught, several blasts of Optical Spells, the firepower was clearly on a level of her own, it tore through their many defensive barriers and killed them all. Only after being sure herself all outside interference was gone did her gaze go to the Mages, who dropped their guns and depowered the orbs in use. The gaze made these seasoned veterans shiver.
"Alright, 36 of you against Eight of them, what's your excuses?"
"…"
"Yes, yes, I can see in your faces, clear as day, this is a BND operation, don't expect to be debriefed on every single detail, understood?"
"Ma'am, yes Ma'am!"
"Good, go check if their objective was thwarted, and not a single word to anyone about this."
She pointed to herself, all men present saluted and went out the storage room. Once sure all presences were gone, she refocused to the place she came from, on the person still there.
"Now, where were we? Ah yes, ARE YOU MY MASTER?"
"Uuueeeehhhhh…."
"Fraulein! Please! You are scaring her!"
With a reflex speed no human would ever be capable of, she was already about to fire off an attack, only to be point black, face to face with the person who intruded in.
"Now, before you go off firing such overkill attacks, hear me out, okay?"
"… Fine."
The man, tall, over 1.90m, with wild short hair that's vibrant red, a clearly very attractive person, but his smile was making her feel an awful hard to avoid desire of punching his face, or shooting it, whichever was faster. He clearly was gauging the woman who just dealt with all intruders in the storage room, not for combat, but something else.
"Oh well, forgot not all Tanyas have previously met me. Name's Mike, and Dear Holy Kaiserin, this whole summoning ritual is a mess. This has pros and cons, which you want first?"
"Really? Give the bad first."
The minute changes to his smile are hard to grasp, something the 'Tanya' he is talking to feels is going to bite her in the ass.
"Ok. Bad news, your Prana source is… unstable, and if you hope to even remain a contender in the fight you were summoned to take part in… you will need to be creative."
"How bad is it?"
"With luck you may survive until the first servant dies."
"Wunderbar. What's the good news then?"
"Your 'Master' in this fight is pretty much the most unkillable human to ever exist."
The hint he threw got her brain gears to start going full speed, clearly there's more to it. Recomposed, her focus returns to him.
"So… Mike. What are your stakes in all of this?"
"Me? Just watching. And helping some cinnamon rolls get out of their own problems when necessary."
Before any more questions could be asked, he was gone, so the two women were again, the only ones still here. Looking at the Janitor, coated in dust, weak in the legs from all the stress of staying near death for so long, and looking as if she was like a newbie in a trench during the hottest period of the First Great War who just experienced what being a soldier is, she kneeled, and extended a hand to the pitiful looking young woman. As if someone was playing a prank (Mike was, of course), the light coming from behind the Holy Kaiserin looking person created quite the scene to the Janitor girl.
"I ask again, are you my Master?"
Taking the hand offered, she is brought back to a standing position.
"I… Guess so..?"
"That'll have to do then. Rejoice, Caster Tanya von Degurechaff, is now your servant in the upcoming Grail War."
"Eh?"
Caster now understood, this girl had not a single fiber of either being a Mage, much less a Magus, who were the ones playing these stupid games like the Grail War.
"All I know is what the system made for this so-called Grail war gave me upon summoning. And being honest here, we will need to go now."
"To… where?"
Her face was funny, was all Caster could think, outside how much of a pain in the ass things would be with a "master" like hers.
"To Akitsushima, to Fuyuki City being specific."
"But… but I still have work…."
"…"
A wheeze was all that briefly broke the awkward silence that filled the room, with Tanya making a face that said all, how unbelievable the girl who just survived this entire mess was, if she was lucky, all she would end with was being fired, if the BND didn't decide she was a potential liability.
"Master, can I be frank?"
"Uh… sure… you can call me Lara, Lara Beckland as well."
"Right, Lara. With all due honesty, you will be lucky to still be employed here by tomorrow."
It was as if Caster's brutal honesty was her calling the obvious reality of things, and as if this brief attempt at avoiding it wasn't her first time, but a habit already.
"I… I know…"
And now, she sees Lara, her Master, crouching down.
"Uuuuuuu… why? I did nothing wrong! Not my fault superpowered intruders invade! Get in a massive shootout with Germanian Mages! And I just came from Ispagnia! What blame I have for some sudden case of Chupacabras? Or when I worked as a Maid in Albion, some idiot student goes and steals the house owner's preciour relics! Or the replublic! What did I have to do with my bag being replaced with one Bank Robbers were carrying? And it just HAD a piece of something from Joan d'Arc's era? Uuuuuuuu…"
Hearing Lara's ramblings told all… if anything, her luck is a paradox of being rotten Gold….
"Master… errr… sorry."
Suddenly something falls near the two, a travel luggage. Looking above, Mike was there.
"Hey, Lara! Just take this as a commission job! All expenses paid no less!"
She brightens, a bit. Picking the luggage with her belongings, Caster and her Master leave the wrecked museum, news that start coming from early in the morning blamed the massive damages in a criminal group composed of second generation Le Main Bleue renegades that turned to Grand larceny for profits, the Republic had to begrudgingly take Germania's side, the cover history for Berun's National Museum dealt with, no one noticed a private Jet making a straight trip to one of OZEV's biggest Asia Allies, Akitsushima.
"I… thought you didn't want to stand out? Why we using a BND jet?"
"You THINK I can even TRY a commercial plane?"
Caster let her master see her, now in civilian clothes, Black leather boots, Black pants, followed by a gray T-Shirt and a Navy-Blue Jacket, her hair was free, those icy blue eyes pierced Master's own, light brown in color.
"I guess not."
"And anyways, I would be the one paying, uou're broke, right?"
STAB
"Sorry for being a good for nothing embodiment of what a Disaster Magnet is…"
"You should work that self-esteem."
"Last time I tried my lotto ticket was hit by lighting… in clear skies… in the sahara…"
"… My bad."
'Just my bad luck, like right when I died…. Fuck you Being X!'
The private Jet was going to Tokyo, to Caster, having a Master that knew jackshit about the kind of world both are diving head-on while blind was enough of a disastrous disavantage, so she hoped going to Akitsushima's capital only to then make a quick sneaky trip to Fuyuki would be just enough to delay their opponents from finding the two out so soon. Another preparation she did was in her hands, a book.
"Mika & Mike Presents: Magi world, logic, and Grail Wars for idiots" a book clearly given to her on purpose.
'He said he was merely watching and giving SOME assistance, yet this feels like going really too far for MERE assistance, does he wants me and her to have a fighting chance?' Tanya let her thoughts flow as she read the neatly summarized but well explained material about what kind of underworld she's been thrown into to serve as her prison, by yours truly, Being X no less.
The flight however, would be long, even though it was a flight straight to Akitsushima, the path had to stay away from Rus Successor states lands, lands under direct or indirect control of the renegade Chinese Socialist States and a chunk of the Middle East lands with heavy presence of Turkmenish backed Rebels, so the flight path would allow Caster a leisure reading, and her Master some badly needed rest.
'Why am I here? It's barely a year since I was thrown inside that throne… what's going on? And what are your plans, Mike?' with that, Degurechaff resigned herself to reading.
Unknown Location, EInzberns domain
Kiritsugu was in the office lent to him by his current Employers, the Einzberns, a strong family in the world Magi live in, as their player in the Grail War, a system they were core developers of alongside two others, Intel had just arrived, and it worried him. His Wife, Irisviel, easily noticed his worries.
"A new Master summoned their servant?"
He glanced at her, it was more complicated than that, she understood, their synch level was that good.
"It is 99% the case… but someone interfered… no data about whoever they summoned; the data protection veil was far too strong for any Magi to perform…"
"… So whoever was summoned has domain authority where they got summoned, right?"
"There's only ONE potential servant that could invoke that in Germania… and I doubt she is already eligible…"
Irisviel frowls, she understood the message, either an abnormality summoned a woman who just died a year ago, or something else happened in Berun, hopefully, neither would be the case.
"Let's just say this is the case and SOMEHOW, the Silver Chancellor was summoned, which class would she be?"
"Archer or Caster. But Archer most likely wouldn't carry the legacy she has from after the Great War."
'Which one you fear may be the worse opponent?"
"Archer. Caster would carry weaknesses I can use against her."
The fax machine whirs back to life, even more news have been sent his way. They were just a few sheets. Reading, he sighs.
"Germania has begun a mad hunt for Magi, someone blew the lid. And a few hours after the Mana signature from there happened, a Private plane chartered by BND personnel left Berun's International airport unknown destination…."
"You think the Master is now under their government?"
"Either that, or the Master is high enough within it to make use of their resources. This changes nothing however."
"Yes, yes, I understand Kiri."
He said that, but like when he read Kotomine Kirei's Profile, some odd sense of Unease formed within, something that may upset this entire Fourth War.
'No way to know if it was a servant summoning, no data on the Master, information control as well as a lack of knowledge of what even happened there… why does this makes me feel like someone just planted a bomb right inside this whole War? And if it so, what reason for such?'
Iri, as she liked to be called by him, began hugging, which he reciprocated, at least for now, there's just a few more days of peace, after all, tomorrow they would summon her, and right away leave for Fuyuki City, those would, he hoped for, days he could enjoy this peace before entering in full the battle for the Grail.
Extra – Hello Darkness, my Future Friend
It was a normal day, normal time, and most normal of all, the usual work for the entities tasked with both the safety of the world, and that of Humanity in matters related to this side of the world, where the mystical, fantastic, and impossible were constant threats to the continued existence of both things each was responsible for. Gaia protected the world; Alaia did the same for Humanity.
A Violent shake brings both to attention, something just happened. An ear-piercing shriek of Agony swept domains, theirs included, and soon after, red alarms rang for both. Something both knew very well about suddenly start threatening to crack through the weakened boundary barriers that kept the domains of each Entity separated, a dark, viscous sludge, did Angra Manyuu manage to escape his current Prison? No, this wasn't it, this was from… someone else.
"Shit, the fuck is with THIS MUCH? Not even that asshole stuck in that overglorified mug can make this much!"
Even those two going full power at it weren't able to wipe it all, and it kept pouring through the cracks it created, Endlessly, and forward, ever so forward.
"This shit is… seeking something."
Gaia notes. Alaia Scans and sees where it is focusing and goes completely pale.
"Its trying to reach the DAMN THRONE!"
"Shit, did someone cause a wipe of Human History? Or is this another case like that of Avenger?"
While Gaia staved off the sludge, Alaia quickly browsed through every single potential Heroic Spirit within the Throne, the moment she brings one specific spirit in question, the sludge becomes far more active.
"WHAT THE? How the fuck ALL this mud is coming from an alter of Tanya?"
'Who?"
Gaia half asks, half complains, as she is now fighting for her life within all the horrid liquid.
"The Bitch that asshole threw in here when we weren't looking."
"Well, do something!"
'Fuckfuckfuckfuck…. AH FUCK, FUCKITTOHELL, HERE SHE GOES, INTO THE DAMN GRAIL WAR."
The moment Tanya's soul is thrown like a Fastball straight into whatever Ritual was happening right now, no matter how half assed it was, to those two, it didn't matter, so long this mud gave up. And it did, one painful cleanup later, and a bath to wipe themselves clean, the two returned to work in keeping Humanity alive, and the world, for their respective duties.
"Know what? Let's file a fucking complain on 'Being X' for harassment of domain and whatever else we can pull on him."
Alaia said to Gaia, already filing in the document forms to make an official complaint.
"Agreed, but how we fucking explain the mud?"
Gaia asks, her forms already half filled.
"Idiot is a tech illiterate dunce, never saw the thrown had a log of newly added spirits, and I filmed this mud incident 'just in case', and it has when the mud became so hyperactive no less."
"Alaia, that's why no one talks to you in the meetings, you are NEVER not accumulating evidence."
Gaia comments.
"Better than being empty handed when we need to formally demand punishment to one of the assholes."
She retorts.
…
"No more, I can't take this anymore…"
"… Burn this world! Burn this belief!..."
"- Hello, Hero…- Bye…"
She was in the orphanage, or so she believed….
Men came to make… tests… right? Right?
Not in labcoats…. But weird cloaks…. And they said nonsense…
…
The Orphanage was Burning…. Leading the culprits… with those same cloaks…
Garbled words, she couldn't understand them either, even as she spoke….
The fire spread… spread….
A priest dead….. a knife in his back… she smiled…
More fire…. More….
What for? WHY?
…
…
…
"Ah, yes, Hello. Hero. And now….."
Caster woke up, in cold sweat. She couldn't recall anything while she was resting. But the terrible feeling remained.
'What the hell? Get a grip on yourself, Tanya!'
The flight wasn't even close to halfway, yet she decided to drink some whiskey, and focus on anything but idling with her eyes closed. She felt that whatever happened in that period, had ties to her, but not yet from the past or present, but something terribly dark looming in the foggy distant future. As if some really distant her had sent a scream for help…. Or of warning….
'Is the Grail just that simple of an idiot's game… or something else is at play here?'
…
…
Germania, Berun, Berun's National Museum
Forensic work had just ended, yet the crews to begin the repair tasks had yet to be allowed in even if just to analyze the damages and what needs being fully redesigned. Mike was present, alongside another person, the pair scoured the entire building, and were now focusing on the very epicenter of that whole fight, the ruined Maximum security storage room, the check goes uneventfully, until Mike's partner stops, right in front of the doorway to that one side storage room. And gazes at just one little thing.
"Found it, Kaiserin?"
"Yes."
Picking it, a fake replica of Elenium's Type 95, more rusted and damaged than it should be, from within the fake mechanisms where the cores and it's clockwork like machinery would be, something oozing danger and many other terrible feelings was neatly nesting itself into, not hesitating even for a single moment, Kaiserin just swallows it all, Replica Orb and all.
"Sorry… but this isn't a timeline you should be in."
"That's all?"
She nods, do Mike starts tracking to leave, and then give Erika, the BND's current head, the go ahead to allow the start of the rebuilding. Kaiserin quickly catches up, and stares daggers at him.
"Relax, I will keep my promise, ok?"
Mike remains as always, she however, looks at the direction her plan is, pained she cannot do much more.
"The die is cast, no use thinking anything else, now, help me manipulate the board of this messed up game, Kaiserin."