KHRrarepairweek2021 Day 5: Necromancer AU/Unknowingly Flirting
Verde is… confused.
"Wow, you have like, nothing to eat. When was the last time you went grocery shopping?"
Skull de Mort… should be dead. None of Verde's attempts at necromantic resurrection have succeeded in bringing even a zombie or skeleton minion to life, much less a fully resurrected, walking, talking person. Nevermind the fact that it's been months since he made the attempt, and a belated resurrection has never been heard of.
Though, Verde pushes his glasses up his nose, this could be his chance to get published, assuming he can replicate the feat or at least definitively prove it happened.
Skull closes the fridge with a loud sigh and proceeds to rifle through Verde's cupboards. A shower of dirt falls from his outlandishly purple hair as he tilts his head back and stands up on tip-toes to see. "Honestly man, there's no way you can live like this. Necromancer means raiser of the dead, not secretly dead." Another small shower of dirt- Verde twitches- as Skull tilts his head to the side. "Are you like a vampire? A vampire necromancer? Because that would be super cool."
He pulls a box of cereal from the cupboard and starts eating straight from the box with his dirt covered hand. Verde will throw the entire box away the millisecond Skull's done. There are so many potential contaminants in his house right now, including Skull. "Why," he asks for the second time since Skull showed up on his doorstep aggressively ringing the doorbell, "are you here exactly?"
"Oh! Right!" Skull sets the cereal box down on the island and munches on what's in his hand for a moment. "So like, digging your way out of six feet of dirt plus a partially decomposed coffin sucks right? Also, I'm mildly insulted that you couldn't bury me in something more expensive then just plywood."
"I did not bury you, nor was the coffin made of plywood," Verde says. He tries to casually take the cereal box, but Skull grabs it again.
"Right…" Skull looks him up and down a bit dubiously, which Verde supposes is fair. "Anyway, when I got out, I figured there was really only one or two explanations for why I was presumably dead and buried and now suddenly alive and personally unburied. Judging by the distinct lack of desire for brains, I concluded it must have been necromancy."
There are so many logical fallacies in that statement, Verde isn't quite sure where to begin unpacking it. The cereal box once more evades his attempts.
"So I looked up local necromancers, and low and behold, you're the only one in town!" Skull beams and holds his arms out like he's presenting something. Verde takes the opportunity to throw the cereal box in the trash. Skull blinks. "Whatcha do that for? It's perfectly good cereal."
"Not after you put your grubby hands in it. No. Do not dig it out of the trash." Verde smacks the hand that had begun to reach down. "You," he says, pointing a finger in Skull's face, "will go upstairs, third door on the left, and take a shower. I will lend you some clean clothes, burn the ones you are currently wearing, and then we will both go shopping for groceries and clothing for you."
The grin that spreads across Skull's face can only be described as 'sly'. "Aw, so you do care, Mr. Necromancer sir."
"That's Dr. Necromancer sir to you," Verde pushes his glasses up his nose again. "And you are my ticket to being published in several necromantic science journals. It is only logical I keep you in acceptable condition while I investigate the cause of your belated resurrection."
"Wait a minute! Belated?!"
"Yes, yes, it has been months since I attempted to resurrect you, Mr. De Mort. Now, please, shower before you continue to spread contamination throughout my house. I have several delicate experiments that may have adverse reactions to graveyard dirt."
Skull gulps and looks rather a bit paler under all the dirt and grime, but he shuffles off to take a shower without any more complaint. Verde takes it as a win.
He turns and faces the mess in his kitchen with a sigh. Perhaps he should hire a maid.