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May 3rd, X778

Lucy couldn't breathe. She felt as if there was something heavy kneeling on her chest – no, pinning her, as the Vhalis had when it had hurled itself down the stairs after her. She could feel its heavy weight on top of her. She couldn't hear the cry it uttered through a ruined throat. Hot blood spattered her face as it tore into Jerome's body, ripping him apart piece by piece. In return, Lucy screamed, trying to pry herself free, but failing–

"Lucy," a voice demanded in her ear. "LUCY."

Between one blink and the next, the weight vanished, but Lucy still couldn't breathe. Panic surged through her. She shoved at whatever covered her mouth, simply so she could drag air into her lungs, but couldn't. It was a hand, she realized a moment later as she tried to claw it away from her mouth unsuccessfully.

"Lucy." Her name repeated a third time, ringing in her ears, uttered by a familiar voice that had her faltering. She finally realized it was Natzu kneeling over her, a hand cupped over her mouth. His gaze glittered seriously in the darkness, just barely lit by flickering flames. Lucy's hands shook violently as she took his wrist in a weak grip, eyes wide. Only when she stopped fighting did Natsu ask, "Are you good?"

Lucy nodded once, and he released her. Natsu sat back on his heels as Lucy snapped upright, gulping air down in gasping breaths. Lucy wiped impatiently at the tears streaming unbidden down her cheeks, hating them every moment. She swallowed thickly. "Thanks," she whispered raggedly, knowing that her screaming would have brought unwanted attention.

Natsu didn't respond for a moment, brow drawn into a deep furrow. She knew he was worried and that it frustrated him that he could do nothing about the nightmares that plagued her and Wendy but make sure they didn't draw Vhalis at night. Wendy seemed a little better off most nights. Lucy suspected her concussion might have helped to erase some of the more traumatic portions of their adventure. Wendy's nightmares only struck here and there, but Lucy's had come nightly. She never liked discussing them, but she was grateful for Natsu's help with them.

Lucy gave herself a while to settle, and as if he knew precisely when she'd calmed herself down, Natsu suddenly moved over until he was shoulder-to-shoulder with her, brushing her arm comfortingly with his own. "Lucy–"

"No," said Lucy immediately, not wanting to think about her nightmare again.

Natsu narrowed his eyes sharply enough at her that Lucy threw a half-hearted glare at him in return. She'd told him bits and pieces of what had happened – the general story. She'd not told him everything though, nothing about the little details that plagued her. She'd not even told him what she'd done to turn the Vhalis on Jerome. He knew Jerome had been killed by the Vhalis, but that was all.

Natsu wasn't backing down though, and Lucy didn't think she could blame him when he'd been the one ensuring she didn't get them killed every night since they'd left Hyacinth.

So, after a small staring contest between them, Lucy buckled. Maybe it was the guilt, or maybe it was just her exhaustion, but she gave up and propped her chin on her curled fist, staring at the embers and small flames of the fire Natsu had built. She plucked up a particularly long stick to poke at it, feeding the fire a few twigs until it grew. Finally, she muttered, "I keep dreaming about what happened. The man who did it, Jerome, he…" She took a deep breath to steady herself, and then let it out in a big gust of air.

When Lucy felt she was calm enough to speak, she chose her words more carefully. "Jerome trained the Vhalis, Natsu. He would whistle, and it would do what he said. I…I used that whistle, too." Her voice cracked with guilt. Bile rose in her throat, and she had to fight it down. "I killed Jerome. It was the Vhalis, but the Vhalis did it because I told it to."

Natsu didn't say anything for a short while, considering what Lucy had told him. He simply watched her in silence. When he'd sorted his thoughts out, he rocked back and exhaled softly, tussling his pink hair with a twisted grimace. "Luce–"

"If you say it's self-defense, I'm going to hit you," threatened Lucy, glaring at him. "I know that; it doesn't make me feel any better."

Natsu rolled his eyes. "I was going to say you should have said something sooner. Not talking about stuff doesn't make it go away. It'll make you feel worse about it." He rocked back with a lazy glance at the sky. "I could tell you not to feel bad for doing what you did because he was a bad guy who killed a bunch of Mira's Favored and then turned them into Vhalis he tried to use to kill you, but that wouldn't change a damn thing.

"But I can tell you that I don't think you had any other options, Luce," Natsu told her quietly, glancing at her again. "Maybe if the Vhalis hadn't been involved, but I don't think there was anything you could have done differently unless one of us was there, too, and even then…look at me. I'm useless. Immortal, yeah, but I can't keep you two safe anymore." Natsu scowled bitterly. "Gray would have, since his powers come from Hel, but he couldn't have been able to since neither of you were his Favored. I really don't think you had a chance. You were stuck between a rock and a hard place. You had to choose between your safety and someone else's and you chose the only way you could."

Lucy studied him, rubbing her temples for a few moments. "Have you ever had to do something like that?" she asked quietly.

Natsu didn't answer right away, debating. Finally, he answered cautiously, "Sort of, but not really." He rubbed a fist over his chest, something she'd seen him do here and there, as if it ached. He slid a wary look in her direction. "Some of the other gods have though. Back in the day, Levy had a Favored that went sideways and targeted the Favored of another god. She had to deal with the situation between it triggered a war between gods."

Lucy shivered. "That isn't why you were all kicked out of Valhalla, is it? A war?"

"No," said Natsu, shaking his head. "You'd know if there was a war. Humans fall into wars themselves when we do; their souls don't get lost because we're still able to do our work." He fiddled with the end of his scarf for a few beats of silence before going back to the topic Lucy had tried to steer him away from. "If you want to talk about stuff like what happened, I'll listen, Luce. Whenever you want."

Warmth blossomed in Lucy's chest and she had to swallow the lump in her throat. "Thank you," she said softly. She watched the side of his face for a small time before adding, "And you know none of it is your fault, right, Natsu?" When he snapped a wide-eyed look at her, Lucy couldn't help but snort in amusement. She drew her knees to her chest and rested her chin on them. "You wear your heart on your sleeve, Natsu. It's not your fault. You're the sun god, and you were trying to figure out where another god went so you could help the bigger picture. What Jermode did…you had nothing to do with that."

A surprisingly bitter laugh tore from Natsu and he scowled back at the fire, irritably yanking at his scarf. "I promised to keep you two safe and I did the opposite when I left. Maybe I didn't make the guy do those things, but if I'd stayed, he might not have bothered you. Mirajane came all on her own, just like you said."

Lucy winced. She should have kept that to herself. "You didn't know that though," she said, and he scoffed. They were having the same conversation all over again. Lucy felt guilty for what she'd done to Jerome despite his behavior towards everyone else; Natsu felt guilty for leaving them to track down a goddess that he hadn't needed to even try and find, leaving them vulnerable.

"We're both idiots," she sighed. She watched the fire, reassured by Natsu being close by. She hoped he didn't leave as he had anytime soon. At least, not until they were sure it was one hundred percent safe all around for her and Wendy. "At least we're alive though."

Natsu said nothing aloud, but Lucy knew he agreed.

"Well," said Lucy uncertainly, staring at the sight before her with widened dark eyes. "I…didn't see this coming."

The rushing river they'd followed upstream had grown wider and deeper the further north they'd gone over the last week or two, and now, the roaring of waterfalls was deafening. Lucy stared up at the cliffside the pair fell over, unsure of how they were supposed to keep following the river when the cliff ran for miles in either direction.

In order to continue as they'd been, they'd have to climb fairly steep cliffs.

Wendy tugged anxiously at one of her pigtails, staring at the waterfall with uncertain awe. They were pretty. "I can't rock climb, Lucy."

Natsu said wryly, "With the kind of luck you two have, you shouldn't even be looking at those cliffs like you want to climb them."

Lucy threw Natsu a rude gesture that drew an impish grin to his lips. She knew precisely what he was referring to: a very, very close call from the day before. After traveling for a while with no issues, they'd finally had an encounter with a Vhalis. It had begun tracking them as they followed the river, resulting in some complex twists and turns as well as traveling in the water as long as Lucy and Wendy could manage it. Lucy's toes were still numb. Wendy had been lucky enough that Natsu had carried her on his back for much of it. Natsu had playfully offered to carry Lucy for part of the way, but something about the offer had flustered her to the point that she'd pretended not to hear it at all.

"Well," said Lucy with a heavy sigh, not particularly excited about either choice being presented to them: they could either climb a waterfall-slicked cliffside, or they could detour for who knew how long along the side of the cliff. At the same time, they would have to find a place to stay for the night. "What do you two think? Climb or detour?"

Natsu considered it seriously. Wendy tipped her head as a breeze whisked past her cheeks, whispering in her ears. Her dark eyes scanned something they couldn't see as she listened. "My mother says we should climb." Uncertainty laced her tone, and Wendy bit her lip nervously. "There's a couple of Vhalis a few hours that way," she pointed east, "heading this way, and since they don't need to stop and rest…"

Lucy grumbled under her breath as Natsu admitted, "We should do what Grandeeney says. One Vhalis was hard enough to get away from. As it is, once they get here, they'll start tracking us."

Which meant traipsing through frigid water in freezing temperatures yet again.

Lucy uttered a frustrated sound. "Right. Climbing it is. We should get away from the waterfall though; I don't know about you two, but wet rocks aren't my idea of a good place to be climbing."

Natsu said something under his breath that Lucy suspected she wouldn't have liked had she heard it. Still, he took the lead as they followed the cliff sides away from the waterfall. They walked for a few minutes, eyeing the cliffs for what might be a good place to climb. They were lucky in that the cliffs themselves weren't very tall – only, perhaps, twenty feet high if that could be considered lucky – and fairly rocky. It would have been a lot worse if the cliffs had been smoothed by time and weather.

When they found a decent spot, they all stared up at the top of the cliff. None of them were entirely thrilled with the idea of climbing a cliff, nor had any of them thought this might be something they had to do when they left Hyacinth. It was Natsu who began searching his pack for anything that might help them. "I'll be fine if I fall," said Natsu when Lucy looked at him with a questioning glance, "so I'll go first, but maybe there's something we have that'll get you guys up safely."

Lucy shivered at the thought of Natsu falling at all. "I think Mira found some bungee cords that I packed," suggested Lucy, unshouldering her own bag. "I don't know how long they were. I have the keys, too."

Together, the three of them went through their things, muttering amongst one another as they searched for anything that might be useful. Lucy did find her bungee cords, which she was pleased about, but they weren't as long as any of them would have liked. They were only six feet at most. "So," said Lucy uncertainly when the other two came up empty-handed. "I have two cords. We can tie them together, but that still leaves us to climb a pretty significant distance without them."

Natsu held his hand out. "I can tie the knots. I know some good ones."

Lucy passed them to him as Wendy, anxiously fidgeting with her sleeve, suggested, "We could have the cords at the top then, right? That's probably safer."

"That sounds like the best way," agreed Lucy. "You're going after Natsu. I can catch you from the bottom if you fall, and Natsu can help pull you up when you get high enough." Her stomach churned. She really hated that they were doing this, but didn't really see any better options.

"I'll take up your bag, too, Wendy," said Natsu, grabbing Wendy's backpack before she could protest that it wasn't fair for him to carry so much. "I'll do a quick check of the top when I get there. We don't need to be worried about Vhalis while you two are climbing." Once Natsu had everything ready, he peered up at the cliff with narrowed eyes and went to work.

Watching Natsu scale a cliff without any safety measures was emotionally draining. Lucy knew he was immortal, technically speaking, but it didn't stop her from uttering a strangled sound when he slipped as he was nearing the top of the cliff, dangling by his hands before he managed to reacquire his footing. Lucy and Wendy both heaved massive sighs of relief when Natsu reached the top and hauled himself out of view.

Natsu cheered proudly at the top, grinning down at them. "Not too hard," he shouted down, which Lucy rolled her eyes at. Liar. Lucy ran her hands down her face as Natsu went to work, disappearing to investigate the area at the top of the cliff. When he'd finished, declaring it relatively safe, he came back and secured the bungee cords with great care. He tied them together, testing the knot himself. It took him a while to find a good way to secure it at the top, his own hand wound around it to help prevent it from slipping as he called down, "Alright, Wendy, you're up!"

Wendy looked ill. "I…don't know if I can do that, Lucy."

Lucy didn't think she, herself, could do it either, but she didn't tell Wendy that. She only gave Wendy a half-hug and murmured, "Just don't look down, okay? You don't even have to climb that far. When you get to the bungee cord, you can just hold on and Natsu can pull you up."

Despite Lucy's reassurances, Wendy was still nervous. Lucy didn't blame her. "Okay," Wendy said softly, "okay. I can do this. I can do this." As if to back up her forced, whispered confidence, a brisk breeze caressed their faces, drawing a nervous smile to Wendy's face. Grandeeney believed in her daughter, too.

Only when Natsu had reconfirmed that he was ready did Wendy start climbing. She went far slower than Natsu had, and neither of them pushed her to go faster. She picked each grip with care, testing the rocks she grabbed before setting her weight on them. Slowly but surely, she crept up the cliff until at last, she reached where the bungee cord waited. With a trembling hand, Wendy reached out to grab it.

Something crumbled beneath her weight and Wendy yelped when she toppled sideways. Lucy's heart leapt into her throat and she uttered a small shriek. Natsu snarled a curse, unable to do anything from his place at the top of the cliff. Wendy managed to just barely snag the cliffside again alongside the cord, helped along with a massive gust of wind that exploded from behind her. Lucy staggered, but the wind did the trick. Wendy managed to shove a foot into a crack with the wind's support, and pressed herself flat to the cliff for a moment.

"Alright, Wendy?" Natsu hoarsely called down.

"Mhm," answered Wendy shakily. After a few moments, she began slowly inching up the cliff again. Lucy hovered at the bottom, hands shaking, until at long last Wendy reached the top. Natsu was waiting there for her, and he immediately grabbed her by the arms and dragged her the last few inches up. Wendy clung to him with a muffled sob, burying herself against him. Natsu let her, gently muttering in her ear. Lucy ran a hand down her face, relieved that Wendy was okay.

After Wendy had calmed down and been sufficiently comforted, Natsu nudged Wendy away from the edge and looked down at Lucy. Lucy swallowed nervously. Putting it off wouldn't help her. She patted her keys, making sure they and her backpack were secure, and then nodded to herself.

She'd done things far more difficult than climbing a cliff.

Lucy began to climb as her friends had, humming songs to herself to try and keep herself distracted. She focused on going step-by-step, refusing to look down just as she'd told Wendy not to do. When she reached the cord, she grabbed it and looped it around her wrist. If she fell, maybe it would help her.

Which, much to Lucy's delight, wasn't something that happened. She gasped a small laugh when she, too, reached the top. Natsu and Wendy helped her the rest of the way up, and they all exchanged wide smiles with one another, even as Lucy's heart pounded in her chest.

She couldn't imagine what life would have been like had she not had them with her.

Semi-chill chapter! ;) Love using these ones to build relationships.

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