Osfeth offers Viserys n Alicent "advice" as to how to conceive a son. Viserys agrees to try the methods. Alicent is mortified.
Author Note: a bit of vengeance happens here. Osfeth identifies them by Viserys hair and crown and their opulent apparel. Warning, fairly grotesque content as methods for conception.
The next morning, after eating, and while Corlys and Rhaenys had left to take care of some of their business, Viserys and Alicent decided to take a walk around the village. They quickly found the Prayer House and went inside where they met Osfeth.
"Good day, I am Osfeth, a Holy Man of Christianity. Might I offer you a blessing or pray with you, stranger?"
"No just,..." Alicent began before Viserys cut her off with his hand. "Yes, a blessing would be nice. I have been married to this woman for nearly twenty years and in all that time, she has only conceived four times despite me riding her frequently, I have a daughter, who apparently lives in this village, born by my first wife, who I've been told has many children and her mother, despite how only our single daughter actually lived, conceived rather quickly and easily. My first wife just struggled to have babes that actually lived."
"Oh, I know how that is. I am the bastard son of the Late King Alftred of Wessex so I know all about the struggles of fertility among the upper class. Perhaps I could share with you some methods used in this land to aid in conception?" he replied with a smile, hiding his intentions.
"You know ways that might allow my wife to finally give me a child? Please, share them with me!" responded Viserys eagerly.
"Well, the first thing is, starting on the night of the full moon, for both partners to bathe for a week solid in month old or older feces as they warm the bodies and make them more eager to come together and let the seed take root among the rich earthiness. The couple should continue to bathe this way until the woman's belly begins to swell with child. The woman should also, starting at the same time, begin to drink first thing every morning, a concoction of animal urine, animal seed, vinegar, fertile soil and the dried and powdered afterbirth of a woman with many children. This will help warm the woman's womb and help make it ready for seeding. This should be taken warm and daily until the pregnancy has been confirmed.
After that initial week, it is time for the couple to be intimate. They should go to a public, outdoor space over some good soil and where there is a fence railing high enough for the woman to stand with her bosom draped over a rail. Also, before they begin, the man should piss into his woman's mouth to ensure her womb understands its time to work. Then, both should be lubricated with a mix of dried feces and urine. Once in position, where the woman's breasts are hanging over the rail, the man is to start by entering the woman's anal cavity and to thrust in there until he knows he's close to coming. At that point, he is to remove himself from her backside and thrust into her cunt until he comes. He should remain within her for as long as he can.
Once he had recovered, his woman should take him into her throat until he has hardened again. This time, he should sit on a chair or bench and his woman should sit astride him facing away from him, so her back is to his front and she should ride him until he comes within her again. They should stay in this position again, for as long as possible. After which, the woman should spend the rest of the day laying on ground that is full of life, such as a field of flowers or a lawn as the life surrounding her will encourage life to grow within her.
It does work as this is what my father did with his wife to concieve his heir, the now King Edward of Wessex as well as multiple other nobles all across the land."
As Osfeth spoke, Viserys was scribbling things down on a piece of paper he pulled out of his waist purse while Alicent looked on with absolute horror.
"Thank you so much my Good man. My wife and I will have to try out your methods, otherwise, I may have to set her aside for a new wife due to how ineffective she has been."
"You can't do that Viserys!" Alicent whined in horror, "My father is your hand! It would be a huge disgrace upon me and my house to be set aside!"
"If you had done your duty and bore a child, even if the child was a girl, then I would not be considering it. If you had given me a son, like you and your father had promised, we wouldn't even be having this discussion. You have disgraced yourself with your continual failures to do your duty. Hells, Aemma was better at doing her duty than you ever have been Alicent. I should have rid myself of you years ago."
Viserys then dragged his wife out of the Prayer House.
Author Note: Yes, Viserys does actually plan to try Osfeth's "methods" as he really is that desperate. The group is going to have a good laugh about it later as well.