Lissa Graymark

"How have your lessons with Sebastian been?" Izzy greeted me as she joined my side at one of the holographic screens in Ops.

"Insightful," I responded, barely blinking at her appearance, too used to it happening to me. "Actually…" I swiped at the screen, closing the file I was looking at, looking up at her for the first time. "Something happened yesterday." She straightened her back, giving cautious looks at my guards behind us before giving me her confused look, "When we were at the vampire den, I got…" I shuddered at the memory, "…very angry and my magic lashed out."

"That's good isn't it?" she shrugged, her confusion still apparent, "It means your powers are still there and you're getting control over them again."

"But I've always been able to control them…" I bit my lip as I turned back to the screen, opening another file, "…something's wrong, Izzy. They're out of control."

"I'm sure that everything is-"

Zones out as she hears Jace and Clary's conversation.

"Hey.." I suddenly heard Jace's voice, "Can we talk?"

I turned my head slightly, catching sight of the duo entering Ops.

"About what?" the redhead girl asked in return.

"About how you keep walking out of the room every time I walk in?" I turned away as I caught them heading in our direction.

"…But obviously if you think something is wrong-"

"I haven't..." Clary denied instantly.

"Yeah, you have, Clary. And look," he persistently followed her, "I get it, but we can't avoid each other forever."

"Jace," she interrupted him. "Valentine's missing. OK? We have more-"

"Allie? Allie!" I winced at the sound of Izzy's voice, blinking at the fingers clocking in front of my eyes.

"Yeah, yeah…" I shook myself as Jace and Clary give me an odd look that I chose to ignore.

"Any word from Magnus or Luke?" Clary asked us.

"No," I answered her, "With Valentine free, the Downworld Cabinet has been holding secluded meetings at the Seelie Court."

"Well, that's not good," my parabatai stated.

"You think anything good happens in the Seelie court?" I thankfully didn't flinched at her barb, instead focussing on Alec's next words.

"The Clave isn't gonna let this go unpunished. The Inquisitor's sent an envoy to assess the situation. Chances are they'll be the ones replacing me as Head of the Institute."

"Can't you do something about this?" Clary turned her attention to me.

I shrugged minutely as I gave Alec an apologetic look, "I can't be seen favouring Heads of Institutes. I can intercede in matters of great importance but unfortunately choosing the head of an institute is not considered high on the list of importance. That's something the inquisitor has always dealt with."

"Don't worry, big brother," Izzy tried to reassure him, "If we can recapture Valentine, they'll leave your role alone."

"Sebastian and all available personnel are searching," I took over, turning to the ex-sibling duo, "We already know Duncan managed to hijack the portal."

"If he was Luke's accomplice, he could have been orchestrating the secret transfer all along," I nodded grimly at the news.

"Listen…" Alec interrupted us, "I appreciate the effort, but Valentine escaped on my watch. I deserve to take the heat for it."

"This isn't your fault, it's mine," Izzy quickly proclaimed, "I was the one in charge of the transfer team."

"Hey, we both were," Jace interjected, "Look, Alec, you are a good leader. You can't just let Imogen fire you over something you didn't do."

"Alec will do as he's ordered," a voice suddenly interrupted our discussion.

"Dad?" Izzy asked.

"What are you doing here?" Alec immediately questioned.

I sighed, placing my fingers on my forehead.

I knew I forgot to tell them something.

"He's the Clave's envoy," I informed them, moving to lean against the table we were at.

"We need to talk," the Lightwood patriarch declared.

As he moved to turn away, I couldn't help but clear my throat, surprised he would forget propriety.

"Yes…" he turned a slight glare in my direction. I simply raised a lone eyebrow, waiting for him. "If I may take my children away, your highness."

"Very well," I responded, waving my hand at him, "Be quick though, I have missions to send them on."

"Yes, your highness," he spoke in a monotone voice as he bowed and backed away.

"You do?" Izzy turned to me.

I shrugged, "Nah. I just thought he was being rude and needed to be brought down a notch." I turned to Alec, "Go ahead. I'll take charge whilst you go and talk to your dick of a father."

"Liss-" Jace tried to scold me but I just waved him off.

"You know I'm right. Cheating scumbag," I muttered angrily, lowering my voice so no one could hear my remark about the retreating patriarch. I turned back to the Lightwood siblings, "Go. I'll meet you back in my office after your talk."

They both nodded before straightening their backs, dipping into a bow and curtsey as they intoned a simply, "Your highness."

I watched them leave, following them with my eyes until they left the room. When they had gone, I turned back at the other duo. One was glaring after the other whilst the other was pointedly looking away. "Right," I said, gaining their attention, "You two, I need you both to behave whilst I finish handing out everyone's missions. Train. Eat. Nap Read. Whatever. Just no yelling in the halls again, I keep getting complaints about you two," I fibbed as I turned back to the files in the hologram.

When I didn't receive a reply, I looked up at them, only to see twin looks of bewilderment.

"Yelling in the halls," Jace asked.

"Us?" Clary followed.

"Yes," I nodded at them, "You two. So please, do whatever it is you want to do but quietly, okay?"

I didn't get a chance to wait for a response as a group of injured shadowhunters entered Ops in that moment.

Just as I finally got a moment to myself, the duo I left behind finally caught up to me.

"You assigned the two of us to search Staten Island?" the redhead intruder asked as she barged into the small library I holed myself in.

I looked up in confusion to see Jace and Clary's approaching figures.

"Yeah," I said, nodding slowly, "I needed people I could trust." I raised a lone brow as I gave them a pointed look, "I can trust you two, right?" They give each other looks. I sighed, dropping back into my chair, "Is this going to be a problem?" The duo kept up the silence they brought about, "You're the ones who said finding Valentine had to be a priority."

"Yeah…" Jace huffed out, "-but I didn't mean we had to search together."

"Well what did you want-" I began to ask.

"Wait…" Clary interrupted us, "…this is Idris?"

"Yeah," I whispered longingly as I gazed at the map I had laid out, fingers grazing across the area my home used to be.

"You really think Valentine's in Staten Island?" Jace scoffed.

Clary shrugged, "No, but I'm pretty sure the Clave has Idris covered."

"Not if they're looking in the wrong place," I sat up, moving my fingers across the map, "Valentine used to take me and Jace to this cabin in Brocelind Forest when we were kids."

"And you think he's hiding there?" Jace stepped closer to the map, his hand joining mine on the old parchment.

"Probably not, no," I shrugged, my hand slipping away from his as I relaxed back into my chair.

"But I bet you we find more in that cabin than we do in Staten Island," Jace interjected.

"Jace, you need to tell someone," Clary pushed.

"Yeah?" he shrugged, "Even if I did… the Clave would deny my request for a portal."

"What about Magnus?" Clary suggested.

"Magnus…" I hummed, staring into the distance as I placed my head on my hand with a huff, "-is still in the Seelie Court with Luke."

"And Lils?" I distantly heard.

"Unfortunately," I spoke dryly, "I've been put on a strict no magic ban to help encourage it back and fuel itself up…"

"Who put you on the ban?" I heard Jace ask.

"Hmm?" I spoke distractedly, "Sebastian did."

"You still have sessions with Sebastian?"

"Daily," I absentmindedly responded, "Besides the point, Magnus wouldn't be able to portal us in any way." I finally turned my full attention to them, "Portalling to Idris without approval isn't exactly sanctioned under the Accords. There's not a lot of warlocks stupid enough to risk it."

"What if we find a warlock that could get us close enough to the Swiss border," Jace suggested, "We could hike it." I felt his gaze burning in to the side of my head, "It's only about 30 miles. It's a long shot, but it's the best I can come up with…"

"What if we don't need a warlock?" Clary suddenly piped up.

I immediately looked up at her, sitting up straight, "What are you talking about?"

I stood as she began drawing a rune in the air.

"What are you doing?" Jace asked in disbelief as we watched her. He pulled me closer to his side, wary of her actions.

I watched in disbelief as she thrust her arm forward, creating a portal.

"It worked," she muttered in disbelief.

"That's impossible," Jace stared after her in horror.

How is that possible? No one should be able to do this other than someone of my bloodline-

"Obviously it's not," she smirked at us, "You're thinking of that cabin, right?"

"Look, just wait a second," I warned her, stopping her from stepping through.

"C'mon the portal's about to close," she urged us, "I'm not sure I can open another one."

"Clary, wait!" I shouted as she grabbed my arm.

"Clary STOP!" I heard Jace shout just as the redhead pulled us through the unstable portal.

She didn't even let me change from my dress… I'm gonna be fucking freezing when I-

Splash.

It was a struggle to open my heavy eyes. I battled through the haze of unconsciousness, fighting to wake up. It could have been seconds, minutes or even hours but eventually I managed to fight my eyes, only to open them to see I was still drowning.

In Lake Lyn.

Oh fuck…

Alicia…

Wake up.

Alicia…

Can you hear me?

Alicia…

Alicia!

"Lis?" I heard as I gagged out all the water that entered my lungs, "You okay?"

I gasped heavily as I tried to fill my lungs of oxygen. I pushed the face hovering near mine, realising late that it was just Jace's.

"Fine," I gasped out of my chattering teeth, "Just a little damp."

"Did we make it?" I turned to see Clary rising from her position on the ground near us.

"Yeah," Jace replied.

Today was not a good day to wear this stupid backless chiffon dress. Why did I listen to Izzy when she picked it out this morning? I mean to be fair, I was meant to stay in the institute all day.

"Welcome to…"

"Idris," I murmured, staring off into the distance with a smile as I finally saw my homeland once again.

I've missed this place.

"I still can't believe you made a portal rune," Jace interrupted my loving thoughts of my home as he helped me off the ground, turning me to face Clary once again.

"You've said that already," the redhead murmured as she moved to walk off the rock formation we were on.

"You don't understand," Jace sighed as I held back a whimper when I put pressure on my right ankle. I must have done something to it when I went through the portal.

"It took warlocks thousands of years to learn how to use portals," I hissed as I put too much pressure on my right leg, stopping my explanation.

Jace, noticing my predicament, immediately wrapped my arm around his shoulder, lifting me slightly. I tensed at the contact but relaxed at the alleviation of the pain.

"…And you just improvised one," he took over for me, "The only known family to be able to do such a thing was…" I ignored his look in favour of trying to find a route off this rock without further injuring myself. When I finally found a route, I slowly dislodged myself from Jace's hold, slowly limping away, "It takes a lot of angelic power to make one of those."

"I wanna get out of here before dark," I said, pointing to the woods so Jace knew the direction I wanted him to lead us, "These woods are home to several packs of notoriously feral werewolves."

"Valentine certainly has interesting ideas about what's kid-friendly..." Clary scoffed as we entered the wooded area.

"Yeah, well, even he wouldn't let us go near the lake," Jace informed her.

Alicia…

I could grasped my head at the sudden sound, stumbling into a tree as I blacked out slightly.

"Lis?" I heard Jace's panicked voice as the duo joined my side.

"You OK?" a more feminine voice asked me in concern.

"Yeah," I nodded slightly, palming my temples as I was helped up, "I'm fine."

"Are you sure you're…"

"I said I'm fine!" I snapped my head in his direction, glaring at him as I raised my voice slightly. I gaped in shock as his body flew a short distance away from me. "Oh my god!" I gasped, limping to his side as Clary rushed ahead of me, "Jace!"

"You alright?" she asked as I joined their side.

"Yeah. Uh-" he coughed as he was helped up. I swept stray leaves from his hair as I looked him over in concern, "I'm alright," he reaffirmed, turning to me with a wry grin, "Your powers are definitely back."

"A bit stronger than before," I gnawed at my bottom lip, staring down at my hands in concern. "Sorry about that…" I looked back at Jace, nervously checking his profile for any possible damage I could have made, "…the tonic Seb has been giving me has been releasing the block on my powers in a very erratic manner."

"Seb?" he asked raising an eyebrow at me.

I coughed, shuffling away as much as I could with this stupid leg, "I meant Sebastian."

"I know who you mean-" he started to argue but I cut him off.

"You know an Iratze might be able to help me out with this," I said gesturing to my leg.

"Oh no," Clary responded as I watched her check her jacket, "I don't have my stele. I must have dropped it when I hit the water."

I shared a glance with Jace before we both looked at her in annoyance.

"Don't look at me," I raised my hands, starting to lead the way through the woods again.

"We left ours in New York," I heard the glare he was giving through his words. "Someone pulled us through the portal before we had time to get it."

"Or even had time to get properly dressed," I remarked as Jace helped me down a small drop.

"You look fine!" Clary defended herself.

"Clary…" I huffed slightly as I tugged at the stupid dress that got stuck in a stray branch, "…a chiffon dress," I said indicating to my dress, "and water does not mix. Thank you Jace," I turned my anger on the only male in our company, "-for finally remembering to be a gentleman," I sassed as he wrapped his leather jacket around me.

"You know what?" the redhead tried to placate us, "It's OK. I mean, we don't even need a stele. You can activate your runes without them, right?" she said to Jace before turning to me, "And you're a real-life Hermione so-"

"How very Simon of you-" I couldn't help but roll my eyes at her, "It's not like I can fully control my powers at the moment or something."

"Yeah, I mean…" he stuttered at the same time, "-you know, theoretically."

"And you were giving me crap about my portal?" Clary retorted, stomping in our direction.

"I mean…" I huffed as I was helped over a ledge. Why did we step down if we're only going back up again? Why couldn't we have gone around? "It was rather reckless of you…"

"Plus," Jace grinned sarcastically at her, "I didn't say I couldn't do it."

Alicia…

I smiled weakly at Clary as she caught me when I swayed on the spot once again.

"Yeah, on second thought, my stele might actually come in handy," she muttered staring at me in worry as Jace helped me stand straight. "We should head back to the lake and see if we can find it. Come on Lils."

I withheld the urge to throw up as I was suddenly pulled back in the direction of the lake.

"You don't think there's a chance steles can float, right?" Clary asked me as I hobbled behind her.

"As far as I know, no. What do you think Jace?" I turned back only to find no one there. "That would explain why it suddenly got so quiet," I murmured.

"Perfect," Clary huffed, "Now we've lost him. Wait here…" I looked up at her, startled, "I don't want you injuring your leg further. I'll go find him quickly."

"Clary?" I called after her in disbelief, "Woah! Clary, wait!"

I tried to rush after her but my leg really prevented me from getting far.

I can't believe those two dumbasses left me alone when I'm injured.

Idiots.

"Clary?" I called out in the silent woods.

"Jay?"

I don't know how long I've been wandering around. If I didn't have this stupid headache I could have at least tried to recall my way around this blasted forest.

"Clary? Jay-" I gasped. Stopping short at the sight of blood in front of me.

"Damn it Clary…" I whimpered in shock, stopping myself from reaching out to touch the bloodied remains, "Now I've lost you too."

I activated my jewellery, releasing the magic on my bow and quiver of arrows. I wiped the tears from my eyes as I prepared bow and arrow.

Thank goodness that I wore the right jewellery today. I'm going to kill the son of a bitch that did this to them.

I stumbled through the forest, ready for the werewolf that tore my family apart.

Alicia…

I flinched, spinning around to try and find the voice. It didn't go very well because my foot almost made me lose my already precarious balance.

Alicia…

I released a whimper as the voice continued to reverberate through my head.

Alicia…

Alicia…

"Hello, Alicia," I flinched as the voice became clearer. I spun around, only to be faced with a blurry figure. "You don't recognize me, Alicia?"

"Ithuriel?" I murmured in awe, lowering my bow in surprise.

"I was weaker when we last met," he nodded, allowing me to fully relax. "Thanks to you, I have recovered."

"What are you doing here?" I murmured, blinking up at him in confusion as I rested against a tree.

"As a child, Valentine poisoned you constantly with the blood of that of his name," he informed me, his tone tinged with sadness as he caressed my cheek in paternal concern, "Your blood is impure, child. I told you this before."

"Ithuriel-" I shook my head, tears falling at the reminder of his previous words to me.

"Your body has fought against it for so long but returning to the shadow world and using his powers will only darken your bloodline more."

"What?" I reached for him as he released his hold on me, "I need to know more, Ithuriel, please-"

"Something else to tell your once-sister," he informed me as he took a step back, "Jonathan is alive."

"Jay?" I murmured in disbelief as dots started to cloud my vision "Is he OK?" I asked, stumbling blindly in his direction, "Where is he?"

"I can only direct you toward the correct path," he informed me, stepping further away from me. All I could see of him now was a bright white light. "You must walk it yourself, even if it is the path of your doom."

"Ithuriel, please, if I have to die to save him, I will." I vowed, blinking the spots away, "I will do anything. I won't use them again. I promise. Just tell me where he is."

The figure in white shook his head. His expression unclear to me.

One moment he was there and the next he was gone.

"ITHURIEL!" I screamed.

But that last scream was all my body could handle as my eyes shut. I let the black spots overwhelm my vision as my body sagged forward, leaving me defenceless once again.

"Lily?" I heard a voice scream.

I shook myself awake, looking around in a daze as I tried to remove the fog that had taken over my head.

"Who are you?" I called out to the voice.

"It's me…" I figure in red slowly began to approach me. "It's me, Clary…"

"Clary?" I asked in confusion, raising my bow as it approached me, "I don't know a-"

"Lissa!" a voice suddenly yelled from behind me somewhere.

I stumbled away from it in fear, scuttling away on the floor. I couldn't help the scream I emitted at the pain radiating from my leg. Luckily, I had a firm hold on my bow so I raised it again at the approaching figure in black.

"It's Jace," it told me as it held its hand out to me in a placating manner.

"I don't know you," I hissed at him, reaching for an arrow. "Any of you," I glared at the third figure that joined the duo. I loaded the arrow backing away from the trio.

"You're confused," the dark haired one said.

"We're here to help you," a deeper voice said.

"Just hold still," the red one said.

"No," I released the arrow. I don't know where it went but I couldn't be asked to look. Instead I ignored my pain, scrambling to run away. "ITHURIEL!" I screamed for help as I dashed by the figure who was on it's own. Luck wasn't on my side as it managed to grab my arm as I passed. Despite my foggy brain, I still manage to twist my arm so that my palm was facing it's direction. A simple thrust of my hand had it flying away from me.

"CLARY!"

"Leave me alone!" I screamed as I tried to run away again.

My moment of victory against the one made me forget about the other two. I was only reminded when I was surrounded once again.

"Just hold still," one told me as it flashed its sharp teeth at me.

I ignored it's words as I tried to dodge between them. The one on the right, the lighter haired one, tackled me to the ground. I screamed at the pressure that was suddenly placed on my leg. Leg. Leg. Knife! At that sudden thought, I grabbed the throwing knife I always had strapped to my leg and threw it at the standing demon. When it didn't screech in pain, I knew it must have dodged or caught it.

The one who tackled me kept me in a headlock, forcefully turning me towards its companion. It had my throwing knife in one hand and an athame in the other. I used the grip the demon holding me to my advantage, using it to hold me as I kicked it's partner's weapons away. The adrenaline kicked in as I used the momentum to spin myself around, disarming the one that held me with a swift kick.

"Look, we're not gonna hurt you," the demon tried to placate with a twisted grin.

I gave it the harshest glare I could muster with this killer headache pounding at my head, "You're not gonna get the chance," I clenched my fists, allowing my hands to be engulfed in black flames. I picked up the athame that I had disarmed from the other one, melting it in my hand.

I threw the lump of metal away, charging at the deeper voiced demon. I ducked as it raised its hand at me, trying to evade his grip. I could sense the other demon that I took down first, start to get up from behind the other female demon.

"Hey. Stop. Stop," the one trying to grab me spoke up, "Look. I know you're scared, but it's me. It's Jace."

I threw a punch in his direction but he was faster and more prepared this time. He caught my fist using my momentum to spin me into its chest.

"Let go of me!" I tried to wriggle myself out of its grip.

"Hey! Hey! It's OK," it was whispering to me.

"ITHURIEL! HELP!" I couldn't help but scream once again.

The demon spun me around, forcing our faces close together and ensuring my eyes stayed locked on his despite my struggles.

"Everything's going to be OK."

I stopped my struggles as its eyes suddenly burned gold, freezing at the beautiful sight.

Suddenly, it was as if this haze disappeared from my sight, freeing me from the cloud that had settled over my eyes. The pain was gone too, from my leg and from my head. For the first time in several days, I finally felt as if I could think clearly again. The grotesque form of this demon slowly changed into the beautiful boy I grew up with. The boy who fought hell and back so we could be reunited. The boy I grew to love and I still hoped loved me back.

"Jay?" I whispered in awe.

"Yeah," he nodded with a small smile.

I don't know what came over me. It was as if all my previous reservations were gone.

I threw myself at him, closing the distance further as I wrapped my arms around him in a hug, "You're okay?"

"Now that you are," he solemnly replied as he hugged me back to him.

I separated from him and turned my gaze back to his golden eyes. I couldn't stop my hand as it came up to rest on his face, "You learnt how to activate your runes without a stele? How? When-"

My words were cut off as he leant down, stealing a quick kiss.

"I'm sorry-" he said, instantly pulling away, "I didn't me to-"

I stopped him from speaking anymore by pulling my hand that somehow made it's way to the back of his head, back towards me, pulling him back towards me for a passionate kiss.

"-I hope I'm not getting the same treatment as a thank you," I heard Izzy's voice pipe up from behind me, causing me to instantly pull myself back from his gorgeous lips.

"Iz!" I awkwardly smiled, stepping away from Jace, "Hi… Thank…" I stumbled as I felt Jace grab my hand in his own, "…You for coming after us."

"We should head out before something else happens," she smirked at me as she gave a pointed look in my direction, "Otherwise Jace may need to kiss us better."

"Shut up," I groaned out as an infuriating blush took over my face. Jace pulled on my hand, starting to lead me in the direction of the cabin. "I'm sorry about your stele," I guiltily said when the two girls stepped up to my side.

"It's fine," she dismissed. "I'm just impressed by the fact that you managed to melt it down that easily."

"What were those flames?" Clary piped up curiously after I gave her a quick hug when I was sure she wasn't injured.

I held my right hand up to my face, curiously looking at it, "I'm not really sure…" I would have held both hands up but Jace still hadn't let me go. "I sure as hell want to find out though."

We spent the rest of the walk in silence, only broken by our numerous attempts at irritating Jace by constantly piping up with a whiny, "Are we there yet?"

It was nice, I could almost believe Jace and I were on a date. You know, if we could ignore the fact that we were on the way to find Clary's homicidal father.

"I haven't been to this cabin in years," he informed us, "Not since before Lis disappeared from our world but I'm pretty sure it's just past this hill." He nodded to himself as we caught sight of the building, "There it is!"

We froze at the sight of the smoke that left the building ahead of us.

"Someone was just here," Izzy commented.

We all rushed forward, hoping we weren't too late.

Unfortunately for us, luck, really was not on our side today.

Hours later, when we made it back to the institute, I was instantly surrounded by hunters that needed my attention. My hand was torn from Jace's as they dragged me away before I could even say anything to them.

I don't know how much time went by but when I was finally free, I made my way to the library, only to be caught off guard at the sight that greeted me.

"What's up?" my parabatai greeted me with a smirk when he looked up from his book.

"Nothing," I responded hastily as I moved to leave the room. "Um…" I froze just as I was about to walk out, turning my head slightly to say, "I'm just really glad that you're okay," he nodded his head but I could see the disappointment in his eyes as he turned to look back down at his book. I sighed and turned to get a good look at him. I went to step further into the room but I stopped, hesitant about getting close to him again. "I'm sorry for being so distant," I admitted softly, finally giving in to my heart's desire as I approached his table.

I heard his sigh of relief as I leant against the table he was sat at, "Whilst we're on this topic," despite the words he was saying in my direction, he never once looked up from his book, "-why did you start ignoring me? Last I heard, we were still dating…"

"I didn't…" I stopped my immediately instinct to deny his words, taking a deep breath as I continued, "I didn't mean to ignore you."

I sighed deeply at his scoff, "Of course you didn't mean it…"

"Look… I-" I huffed, grabbing his face and turning it my way and away from his god damn books. To be fair, I probably deserved it with how I've treated him recently. "I'm sorry." I sighed sadly at the hurt I could see shining through his eyes, "At first it was because I was genuinely busy but then-"

When I hesitated to speak, he tried to coach me through it, "Then what?"

"Then Simon needed me. He kept asking me how I could forgive you and-"

"I knew that vampire was a good for nothing-"

I pushed him back down in his seat when he started to get up, "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to teach that little asshole a lesson-"

"No. No!" I sat down on his lap preventing him from moving, "You're not beating up my best friend."

"First of all. I'm your best friend. Second of all, you're not leaving my side again," he said as he wrapped his arm securely around me and yanked me towards him, "Then what happened?"

"And then," I sighed before grasping his hand, fiddling with his fingers to avoid looking at him in the eye, "Then I kept hearing conversations between you and the others about you and Clary… I just- couldn't help but let my insecurities get the best of me."

"What conversations?" he asked me in confusion.

I gave him an exasperated look, "You know what conversations!"

"I honestly don't- you know what…" he said, shaking his head, "as long as we're good, I'll be happy to move on and put this behind us."

"We can't just keep not talking about it-"

"Did you find anything in Valentine's books?" I heard Clary ask from the door.

I sat up straight when I caught sight of the girl at the door.

"Hey Clary," I greeted her with a wave as I went to get up.

"Oof," Jace and I collectively let out when he pulled me back onto his lap, causing me to land on his stomach.

"Uhhh," he grunted as I apologised repeatedly, "You're not leaving my side, remember?" I hid my face from his view as I accidentally let out a small smile as he turned his attention to Clary, "These aren't books. They're journals," he explained showing them to her. "Valentine used to keep these on the highest shelf in the cabin. I remember trying to read one once, see what all the fuss was about. He got wind of mine and Lissa's schemes before we could even open it. That was the last time we went back to that cabin. Now I know why."

"Jonathan Christopher," the redhead read aloud, "These are about you?"

"Morgenstern…" I leant forward to look at the page he was reading from, "…Herondale."

"You were…" the redhead stuttered out, "You were opposite ends of the same experiment?"

"There are hundreds of pages of notes. It's years' worth of research. These…" I squeezed the hands resting on my stomach in comfort as he continued to explain what he's read, "These journals are... They're all that's left of my childhood."

"But..." Clary picked up one of the journals, "Wait. Jace, this was years ago. Jonathan died in a fire when he was an infant. How could Valentine still be studying him if he was already dead?"

I sat up at her words, freezing as what she said registered.

Jonathan is alive.

"That's what Ithuriel meant…" I softly spoke out, catching their attention.

"Lis?" Jace asked me in confusion.

"Ithuriel wasn't talking about you..." I wondered aloud as I patted Jace's hand. I turned my head to the redhead, "-he was talking about your brother."

"What about him?" she asked in confusion.

"He's still alive."