Galvanizing Emotion

by Uictoriam Ducere

Charlie has been called many things in his life. A criminal, a thug, and now a deadman. Awakening in a world filled with headache inducing magic ponies who drive him crazy was the last thing he expected. He must now learn to keep his temper in check to stay on their good side as they are the only ones who can bring him home. Being murdered though, makes that kind of difficult… AU

19. Act 1: For the Ponies, By the Ponies

Ducere here,

Only read this part for author notes on the chapter. (AKA Me complaining)

I'm not going to lie; this chapter was a pain in the ass to write for a few reasons and that's not Charlie saying that either. One of the reasons being I just didn't really like how it came out as I know it's kind of a filler for the finale coming up in the next few chapters, but I couldn't just skip it for the next act. I thought long and hard about this and it was really tempting to, however it wouldn't have made a lot of sense to do so for the story. It would have just led to more confusion later on if I didn't tie up some things.

The second reason being it just wasn't fun to write. As I stated before, Charlie's personality bugs me sometimes as I kinda get in character to write in first person and this chapter definitely got me feeling him out, that's for sure. You've all read how he thinks and acts so you can imagine how that may affect you if you tried writing as him for weeks at a time. Oh well, I can't really complain in that regard as I wrote him like that to begin with, but that's the entire point of Charlie. He's outside my comfort zone and I really wanted to write a character that wasn't a SI. The next part of the story will be a lot more comfortable for me so I'm sure it will be a lot better.

Sorry, I won't keep you much longer, just wanted to put in my two cents on why this took so long to release as it was supposed to come out a week ago.

Chapter 19: By the Ponies, For the Ponies

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"The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Charlie's POV

"Are you even pushing!" Flash Sentry yells out on the other side of this fuckin' oven that's wedged in the doorway to the kitchen, "Because it doesn't feel like it!"

I grit my teeth as lift the bottom of the appliance, "I… assure you… I'm giving it my all! Now shut the fuck up and just pull damn it!"

Spike, who's sitting atop the very oven we're desperately trying to maneuver, yawns as he looks between us with boredom, "Maybe if you put your hinds into it, I'd already be making those cupcakes…"

"SHUT UP!" We both scream in tandem making the dragon giggle.

"Maybe if you twist it the other way, Charlie, you can get it through." Twilight says in a typical back seat driving attitude and we both pause our struggle to glare at her making her put her hooves up in defense, "Or not… The way you're struggling right now is definitely the way to go hehe."

I turn back to the stallion who was staring at our current headache with contempt, "Okay, I push towards the right, and you pull towards the left."

"My left or you're left?" he asks, and I feel the vein on my forehead pop.

"JUST FUCKIN' PULL IT!" I scream as I double my efforts, but nothing happens.

"Oh, for the love of-hold on."

Is what I hear Twilight say behind me before the oven becomes enveloped in sparkling magic and disappears entirely, making all three of us fall forwards into a big pile of bodies. The mare walks by, completely ignoring our predicament so she can cheerily look at the new spot where the oven magically moved to and looks at it like a job well done.

"See? I told you it wasn't going to be that much?" She playfully spits out as she chuckles.

"Why couldn't you have done that at the start…" I grumble as I lay on the ground, my limbs entangled with the guards and a dragon.

"You never asked!" Twilight gleams as she walks by.

"I hate this shit…"

"…For once, Charlie, we are in agreeance…" Flash too murmurs looking at the ceiling in defeat at how low he has fallen.

"Can we take a nap now?" Spike whines out as he lays in a pretzel on my stomach and his own tail lays on his snout.

"Nap? We have too much to do than to nap!" Twilight yells out incredulously as her schedule book appears.

We all collectively groan at this as we remain tied together on the floor.

"Oh hush! Now let's see…" She flips through a couple of pages and her eyes widen when she stops at one with a smile, "Spike, you still have to prepare the deserts for baking. You don't have to cook it just yet, but I'd like you to at the very least prepare the dough and some of the other things so we can start on time first thing in the morning!"

"First thing in the morning?" He moans out with displeasure as he gives off that 1000 yeast stare at his new culinary task.

She flips another page and hums, "As you know, the holiday dinner is tomorrow and we're going to have company. Because I was told Applejack, and her family would be coming over yesterday I didn't have enough time to really plan out what to make so you'll just have to make everything."

"What do you mean everything?" Spike questions and she lets the rolled page unravel and it rolls towards us and stops. It's filled with equestrian writing, most of which looks like different sweets making the dragon go white, "…everything… by tomorrow…" He shakes his head and stares at the clinically insane mare, "Aren't they bringing anything?"

"Well, Applejack said they were, but I'm unsure as to what exactly they'll make so I just want to be on the safe side."

Spike looks at the list one more time still not believing what he's reading, "This is going to take me all day to get the ingredients and dishes needed to make all this, Twilight, and we only have one oven." one of the legs of the appliance snaps so it slams suddenly to one side, "…barely…"

"Then there's no time like the present!" She frowns after she proudly spouts that, "Though, I really wish I had more time to prepare…"

"Then why did you invite them then?" I ask as I blow Flash's mane out of my face.

Her look grows increasingly concerned, "Well… Applejack actually asked me as a favor… something about not wanting to be on the farm for the day."

"Let me guess… Coyotes?" I ask as I manage to free my arm of the purple scaled blob.

"Uh… no, actually." She cocks her head at me, "Why would you say that? We don't even have coyotes in this part of the country."

"Then what the fuck did I-" I shake my head as I sit up, "You know what? I don't even fuckin' care to know. The point still stands that you could have said no to the banjo twanging donkeys, right? On both accounts."

"Both?"

"I'm talking about Apple Bloom…" I spit out her name like I could taste it and it didn't taste good.

She smirks at me, "If I recall, Charlie, it was you who agreed to that little arrangement, not me."

"Yeah, and don't fuckin' remind me…" I stand up as I brush off my pants, "Besides they didn't really give me much choice in the matter. They would have just gone and gotten your shishkebab headed ass who can't fuckin' say no to anyone to save your own virginity."

"I can say no…" She pathetically defends as she zaps her book away.

"Yeah, as a last fuckin' resort." I start walking towards the oven. "Christ, you're almost as bad as Fluttershy in that regard."

"He's got a point, Twilight." Spike says as he leans a hand onto Flash, "Remember when you got those tickets for the Grand Galloping Gala and the others ate you alive for them?"

"Yeah… I unfortunately do…" she says glumly, and she lets out a small laugh, "That really could have been dealt with a little better I will admit."

I kick the oven and look over, "The Grand Groping who?"

"No, Charlie, the Grand Galloping Gala. The event that Princess Celestia throws every year at the end of summer in Canterlot." She frowns as she approaches, "I don't know why you're asking about it as I know for a fact, I've told you about it you're first few weeks here."

I open the door to the oven and thankfully I do see some racks in there at the very least and shut it.

I look over at her, "You're putting way too much faith in my ability to pay attention especially that first month, you know that? I was still waiting to wake up and I never fuckin' did… Bummer. Now I've got to listen to you nagging me and everyone around you to death. I'm surprised you're not talking to a pair of skeletons yet."

"I-" She stops to growl in frustration, "You're going to make me snap one day, Charlie, and I don't even think the Princess will be able to save you when that happens."

"Like I need help to stop you. That's cute…" I pat her head like a child which makes her more upset, "You exist only because I tolerate you. Sometimes…"

"Anyways…" She grinds her teeth as she says that "The Apple's are welcome in my home any time… the same welcome for you has been grating away slowly but surely every time we talk."

"You fuckin' love me and you know it. Who else can you bug all the fuckin' time and they not run away in terror?" she opens her mouth to argue but when she can find none it promptly closes making me get really smug, "Aww you do care about me. That's adorabl-OW! What did I do?"

"That list's as long as this one, Charlie!" Spike giggles out as I recover from a flying book hitting me in the noggin.

"Yeah, well when you fuckin' find that list, tell me would ya? So, I can fuckin' wipe my ass with it and make you eat it!" I scream before walk around the back of the oven to see the nozzle for the gas line to be screwed in and the line itself sticking out of the wall.

"You know how to wipe?" Flash gleams out as he joins in too after getting off the floor, "I thought for sure you just kind of let it sit there and fester knowing you."

"Yeah, you're right. I want it as ripe as possible for when your dad eats me out down there when I visit him in the Phillydelphia."

His eyebrows fall together, and he stares at me, "How do you know he lives there?"

I lean down and whisper in his horrified face while my eyebrows wiggle. "He says it adds flavor."

In the wake of the now speechless Flash, I now push the oven in line with the outline of where the old one was about 30 minutes ago. That was even more of a pain in the ass to move out than putting this piece of shit in. The old one was practically melted to the floor and basically acted as a kind of glue which made moving it near impossible. Thankfully Twilight was nearby so I grabbed onto her and used her horn magic as a kind of blow torch to free it. It worked, though I will admit, the bickering I had to have with Twilight after made it almost not worth it.

Something about her horn being sensitive and blah blah blah. Like I give a fuck.

Anyways, we eventually got it to the fuckin' street where it belongs. Like the Cake's for instance! Ha!

"Oh, Miss Sparkle, Charlie…" Flash calls out making us look towards them, "Before I forget, Rarity asks for both of your presence at her boutique shop."

Twilight pauses looking at her notes and it falls slowly to stare at the stallion, "What? Why?"

Flash walks a little closer, "Well, she's been trying to get Charlie to appear for some days now for one of her projects which he has been slacking in apparently."

"Fuckin' blow me…" I give up and give a hard tap on his helmet making it tilt forwards some, "That's what I say to that. You can pass on that message to Rarity for me, right? Cause I ain't fuckin' going."

His hoof robotically adjusts his helmet revealing a scowl, "Yes, I already know which is why I'm not going to twist your hoof. Anyways… For you, Twilight, she only mentioned something about the pageant I believe? I'll have to accompany you there too as I've been recruited by the crusaders unfortunately for this master plan of theirs and I just couldn't decline," He glares at me, "Because somepony likes to put ideas inside little fillies' heads…"

I'm too busy trying to install the oven to even bother to give him a straight answer as I pull on the gas line for more slack and line up the nozzle with the thingamajig it connects to.

"Hmm I wonder what it could be. "I hear Twilight sigh, "Very well then. I guess we should head on over before the parentage begins." She shuffles towards me, "Are you sure you're going-"

I look around kind of ignoring her for something when something tugs on my pant leg. Looking down, I see Spike holding up a wrench with a smile like he was reading my mind. Swiping it from him without a word I turn back to the oven and wedge myself behind it and start twisting that stupid brass seal. Because of how little room I have to work with here, I'm basically on my tippy toes to lean over to see the back and boy let me tell you it isn't fuckin' comfortable. My wrench keeps slipping to my annoyance too as I have not leverage. Just think of that fuckin' scene when Eustace Bagge tries to thread that needle and that's pretty much what I'm doing here.

Just one little push and this will-

"Charlie? Did you hear me? I asked you a question." Twilight ignorantly asks making me slip yet again.

I turn to her a little peeved, "Christ alive, woman! Can't you fuckin' see I'm a little busy at the moment?! What the fuck do you want!?"

She gives me a deadpanned look and her ear twitches some, "I asked you if you're going to be okay by yourself for an afternoon?"

"What and aggravate me some more? I'm fuckin' fine, Twilight…" I say tiredly as I get myself wedged between the wall and this fuckin' oven again that just haaaaaaaaad to get installed on a Sunday. "Just get the fuck out of here, I ain't leaving the library again today so go lick Rarity's taint or whatever it is she wants… I've gotta put this stupid fuckin' thing together so you won't have to bug me about it later."

"Alright, if you insist." She eyes me some as her tail flicks signaling to me that she isn't quite done yet, "It just doesn't feel right leaving you on a holiday. I know I wouldn't want that…"

"Well, it's a good fuckin' thing I ain't you then, Machaca." As I'm working, I don't hear her leave so I sigh and turn to her, "Twilight, in the spirit of the holiday's, you leaving for the day would be the best gift a good boy like me could get and the only one I'd fuckin' accept from you. So, get lost already!"

She looked very hurt by that comment for some reason as her whole body seemed to droop in a kind of disappointment.

"I…" She clams up as my stare grew stouter and she silently sighs, "Okay, Charlie, I'll… I'll leave you alone now. Like you want…" She turns to Flash Sentry who looked a little abashed on Twilight's behalf, "Let's go, Mr. Sentry, Rarity is waiting us."

The stallion looks at me like he wanted to exchange some words for my rude behavior, but thankfully he decided to keep it to himself either because he didn't want to argue or that arguing would be rendered useless against me in the long run. They both walk out of the room, and I pay them no mind at all as I'm a little busy at the moment to deal with hurt feelings and I ain't talking about the fuckin' oven either.

The mayor…

My mood turns sour as the notice that I swiped from Clutter earlier sits in my pocket like a lead weight. An embargo on the Elements of Harmony to get to me… If she really thinks that attacking Twilight and her friends is gonna do anything she's going to be sorely mistaken and she's gonna hear it straight from the horse's mouth. Now that Twilight's gone for the day, I should be able to walk over there with no problem at al-

"Good, I'm glad those two are gone and I'm glad you really gave her a piece of your mind," Spike announces aloud making me audibly groan and try my best to ignore him, "Making me bake an entire cookbook in an afternoon… She really must have lost her gumballs finally and here I thought she'd still might have some more left in her noggin. Like, did you even look at this, Charlie? It's longer than a cockatrice's wingspan."

Without answering him, I push the oven into place after all the right tubes and nozzles are connected and hopefully the stupid thing should be able to light. I press the knob for the front burner and after a nerve-racking moment of the pilot clicking, the bright green flame bursts to life and I adjust it to see if all the setting worked without it going out. When that was done inspected the smell all around the fuckin' thing to make sure no gas or whatever the fuck was being pumped into this thing wasn't escaping. It wasn't thankfully, or at least if it was, I couldn't tell. I'm not a fuckin' gas lineman so who the fuck knows. Oh well, it isn't my fuckin' house that's gonna burn down so who gives a shit.

Though… I will say, it feels pretty… good… to install it. If that makes any sense because it sure doesn't for me.

Something touching my leg makes me look down to see spike moving past me to look at his new appliance, "Cool! You got it working! Well, as much as it can work…"

"Yeah, now get some fuckin' use out of it, dipshit." I walk away and toss the wrench into the toolbox that was on the kitchen table and take a seat, "As you may remember you fuckin' owe me cupcakes and you better make them fuckin' good because I did more than enough for em."

The dragon simply waves a dismissive hand at me as he walks closer, leaving the appliance where it is. "You can't complain about everything we did, Charlie." He gives me a knowing look, "You looked like you had fun at, Clutters."

I scowl at him, "What are you talking about? That fuckin' sucked."

He blinks at me and he cocks his head, "Riggggghhhhht. I see what you're saying."

"Saying? What the fuck are we talking about here?" I yell down at the smug shit.

"We're talking about how much fun we had at the antique shop is all, Charlie…" He says like we're still playing a game that I don't know the rules to.

"That was as miserable as it possibly could all for that piece of shit! All for this hunk of junk that wasn't worth the headache! You hear me, you cocksucker!" I look over at the oven and throw a biscuit at it, the baked good simply bounces off the side leaving no mark and the oven does not answer.

Go figure.

"What I meant was, you looked you had a blast getting back into your…" He pauses to overtly wink in a manner that was nauseating, "Career…"

I stare at him blankly and then guffaw out a, "What?"

He nudges my leg with his elbow "When you werenegotiating with Clutter back in his shop… you know, your job."

My eyebrows fall along with a frown, "I wasn't having fun, Spike, that was business."

"Sure, you weren't." He says like he's playing along with something I didn't understand and taps his chin like he was recalling the events, "That smile on your face was just you needing to use the bathroom."

"I… I was smiling?" I ask as I don't recall doing such a thing.

Spike laughs as he hops into a chair, "Smiling? You were practically giddy when you gave him an offer for the oven." He looks at me like a goober and hits my elbow playfully, "I've never seen you so elated in all the time I've spent with you as a matter of fact."

I didn't-no I wasn't having- That's bullshit and I-

"But hey," Spike says as he links his hands together, "You were just doing what you're good at… Right, Charlie?"

I glare at him for a small moment as his words sink into me like a stone, "Just shut the fuck up and start baking. I didn't threaten someone for the fuckin' hell of it so get to work."

"Threaten, yeah…" He pokes his fingers together and looks up at me, "So, you really… Did you do that, like, a lot back home?"

I eye the dragon up and down while my lip twists with discomfort, "Do what? I didn't do anything at all apparently to you."

He rolls his eyes as he takes a seat, "Yeah, yeah, I know." When he gets comfortable, he kind of stares off into nothing for a second and bites his lip before looking back at me, "Why did you… so you just beat ponies up for money? That was your job? But you said you worked in construction too. Did you do both?"

I groan tiredly while leaning into the chair more at the rush of personal questions being thrown my way, "Spike, I would just pretend you didn't see shit back there and live in blissful ignorance. Okay?"

His determined look doesn't falter, and I groan some more, knowing he won't stop until he gets some kind of answer out of me.

"I did both, alright?!" I yell out, "Both at the same fuckin' time, then one thing led to another, and I only ended up sticking with only one of them. That fuckin' satisfy you?"

He nods and taps the table while looking deep in thought still, "Which one did you end up choosing?"

"I-" shaking my head and I rub my face before my head just falls into my hands entirely, "If I fuckin' tell you one little thing, will you shut the fuck up about it?" I move my hands and stare at him, "That sound like a good deal to you?"

He nods his head emphatically and turns fully grabbing onto his tiny feet with excitement to finally hear something from my home.

"Alright… A long ass time ago, I met some dick sandwich who I gave a lot a shit about, and he was the one who got me started. He-"

"What was his name?" He shouts out with a dumb toothy smile.

"He will be referred to as dick sandwich and nothing else. Anyways, when we were-"

"Where did you meet him?" He asks aloud interrupting me. My glare causes him to chuckle nervously, "Heh sorry! Continue!"

I grind my teeth together, "Anyways, I met him… at Wellington's. We were in the same dorm but the that's not the point here. The point is, this asshole came to me for a job offer after we left the school, and I ended up accepting it. It… didn't turn out the way he wanted when we got to Boston, but we were safe for most part. Had an apartment and we were free from the law, so things were already better than before. I took up a job for a contractor for a couple years and did small shit on the side. When that-"

"Why were you in trouble with the law?"

I bang a frustrated fist on the table, "Spike! If you fuckin' interrupt me one more time, I'll fuckin' shut up and take it to my fuckin' grave!"

He makes the motion that he was zipping his mouth shut, throwing away the zipper, and looking at me expectantly.

"Ugh… Alright, dick sandwich wasn't happy with just scraping by and I wasn't exactly thrilled working an hourly wage, so he'd find jobs for me. They were little at first. Pickpocketing a mark he spotted, breaking into a residence, hot wiring a car. Just small potatoes shit. Then he started getting me into fights." I stop a moment to see Spike almost going red like he wanted to ask me to elaborate so I did, "The kind of fights that you bet on. I'd work my 9 to 5 toiling away on the job site and then at night I was in a backroom of some kind of bar with bloody floors and assholes throwing peanuts at me. It was…"

I was going to say terrible but, in all honesty, I really liked it. I got pretty good at it… Good enough to get into his next big scheme.

Usury…

Fuckin' cocksucker. At first Bill was one of the ones betting on me himself then he somehow started a gambling ring with him as the ringleader. I don't know the details, but all I know is he started calling the shots after a few months and that was that. Though, with his new job came new responsibilities.

That being debt collecting. Some cock munches would think they were better than to pay up so when they wouldn't he'd send me. I'd be battered and bruised but what the hell, I could take it and I really didn't mind doing it. That's when Bill had the grand idea to pull me out of the ring entirely and used me as our primary debt collector. That was pretty short lived and soon after he was giving loans and even then, he still wasn't happy with how things were even though we were pretty set money wise. At least that's how I felt about it. He constantly had to fuckin' find the new angle everywhere we went, never fuckin' satisfied.

And that's when he started talking to the wop…

After a moment collecting my thoughts, my face twitches and I continue, "Yeah, so anyways, then dick sandwich upgraded to a fuckin' dick burrito and got me into debt collecting which was just fine by me!" I stand up as my own rage gets the better of me, "We could have just done that! Wouldn't have been great, but good is fuckin' good enough! If we just kept our fuckin' heads down and stuck to what we did well, we'd be fine! But no! Then dick burrito had to go get greedy and made us fall in line with that fuckin' wad ball Paulie Pavone! Then Bill fuckin' decided he was all too fuckin' good to be in cahoots with the likes of the rest of us for his new fuckin' business partner and put us to pasture like the fuckin' snake he is!"

I cease my rant due to an onslaught of shocks but they weren't bad enough to leave me lookin' like I was Louisiana fresh, so I'm left standing in the kitchen breathing heavily as a Spike looks at me with bewilderment.

He looks at the floor with a frown, "So… dick burrito is this Bill pony you've been mumbling about… Huh, I've been wondering who he was."

The feeling of rage burns bright for all but a moment and then ceases entirely and I simply slink down and sigh, "Yeah, Bill is a dick burrito alright…"

"When did you meet him?" He asks with genuine intrigue, "You must have known him for quite a while if you met him in your weird human school or whatever."

"I was fuckin' 12…" Is all I'm able to whisper out, "And he was a pain in the balls back then as he was when I left."

"So, you knew him more than half of your life…" He furrows his brow and looks up to me, "If… this Bill was such was such a pain to work with, why did you stay with him for so long?"

"I-" is all I could get out as I look at him and blink with half lidded exhausted eyes.

I don't know the answer to that.

I don't know why I shook his flimsy cowardly hand in Wellington's.

I don't know why I followed him to Boston.

I don't know why I spilled blood for him.

I don't know why I stayed after I found out what he was planning with Paulie.

I just don't know…

My look grows hard as I come to that conclusion, not liking that was all I could come up with, "That's it, story time's fuckin' over."

"But-" the quick snap of my head, along with my glare was enough to shut his fuckin' mouth. "Alright, fine, I'll stop asking." He looks over at the oven and sighs, "Do you still want those cupcakes?"

My mouth twists as I look at him knowing that won't be the end of it but at least I bought some time, "Why are you even asking me if you already know the answer, chum bucket. Of fuckin' course I do!"

After a moment, Spike just sighs as he jumps out of the seat and walks over to his new appliance, I guess to start his monstrous new task. He pulls out pans and bowls stacking them neatly along which I'm surprised he's even beginning to do what Twilight had asked of him. I thought the shit was still on strike. Whatever…

Me on the other hand, well I just retake my seat at the table and cross my arms as my thoughts get the better of me and send me down memory lane. Particularly, to when I talked to Bill about possibly moving on.

"What the fuck happened to you last night?" The red head yells out as he pours me another glass at the bar, "You were supposed to go visit our mutual friend last night and you never showed up."

"Yeah yeah… I know…" I murmur as I grab the glass, "I had a… bit of an emergency last night."

"Well, I hope it was important because I had to send Dylan and Pee Wee and that went as well as you could expect." He admonishes as he cleans a glass.

"Oh God, not Pee Wee…" I slam the stiff drink in a single swig and look at him, "Why the fuck would you send those two? They're already on the cusp of being Pinky and the Brain as it is."

"Because there was no one else to send, Charlie! Brad's upstate right now talking to one of our contacts, but even if I did you know him, he's a lover, not a fighter." He tosses his bar mop onto his shoulder and puts his hands on the counter, "I was counting on you for this! You knew where he was and how many guys, he had with him; the boys didn't know shit! You could have at the very least answered your damn phone to tell them that much!"

"Hmm hmm… Yeah sure answer my phone next time." I look at the empty glass and look at Bill with a blank stare.

The freckle officer rolls his eyes as he pours me another drink "You knew how important this was to Paulie. He-"

"Fuck Paulie!" I yell out as I slam the drink onto the counter, "That slimeball fuck! He's been a fuckin' hemorrhoid in my ass since you started sucking his goomba cock all damn day!"

"Well, at least he knows how to show up to a meeting…" He scowls at me, and I see his mouth twist before he sighs, "Just- Charlie, you know me and you know that if I thought for a second that Paulie was bad news, I'd stop doing business with him, right?"

I sip my drink and avert my gaze, "yeah, I know…"

"Then what's the problem then? You were all up in arms about the chinamen when I told you about it last week and now all of a sudden it seems like you don't even want to go do the job. So, what gives?"

"I…" sighing I look at my drink, "It just feels different now, Bill. When it was just us; me, you, and the fellas doing-" I wave my hand around, "you know, this, it was-I don't know, more personal. It felt like we stood for something, but now with this fuckin' wop…" I look up at him, "I think we changed, Bill, and not for the better…"

He blinks as he studies me, "Where the hell is this coming from? Who put this idea in your head? It's ridiculous. We're the same we've always been."

I look down at my drink again and then over to a certain 17-year-old kid who was sitting in a booth playing poker with some of his high school friends oblivious to the events that transpired last night with Bonnie.

"It's Wally, Bill… I don't-" I sigh as I play with the glass, "I don't want this for him…"

"And who said he has to have this?" Bill asks like the notion was silly.

"He does apparently," I slam the drink down and look over at him, "He just won't fuckin' listen to me anymore. He's flunking school, heard he started some kind of contraband thing in the bathroom, and he nearly got expelled over it, and most of all he's getting more stubborn about wanting to go on a job with me."

"Sounds like someone I know…" He laughs out as he refills my drink, "Afraid he might follow in the eldest footsteps and land himself in Wellington's too?"

I freeze and glare at him in a way that I haven't done in a while making him falter, "That's not fuckin' funny, Bill."

He raises his hands up in defense, "Alright, alright, I hit a nerve…" When I calm down a little, he sighs as he looks over at the kid, "He means well, Charlie, he just thinks the world of you. You had to of seen something like this coming in the long run."

I take a sip of the Irish dew, "Not really. He was always a sweet kid… You remember how he was when we first grabbed him in Pennsylvania?"

"He's just growing up. Something you never did when you were his age." Bill states while shrugging,

"You're fuckin' hilarious…" I deadpan as I finish my drink once more.

A shout from the table Wally was sitting at made me look over to see he had won the hand given his celebration and all his buddies weren't too happy about it. All the while he was gloating as he scooped up the pot and stacked it gleefully while hurling passive aggressive insults to one of his friends who left the table, not taking the bust well.

A year ago, he didn't even know what poker was let alone know how to tank an entire table by himself.

"…It just seems like that kid I knew is disappearing and it's my fault." I sigh as I pull out my phone and look at the tabs of different states I've been looking at, "I think… I think maybe I should leave for a while. I heard Maine is nice this time of year and thought I might go up there for a little bit. Take Wally with me at least until he's in college. The change of scenery might do him some good and I know I fuckin' need a vacation."

Bill stops whatever he was doing and turns to me with a look of what I thought was fear, "Fucking Maine? What the fuck are you going to do in Maine aside from staring at trees and hoping to star in a Stephen King novel?"

I shrug as I play with the glass, "I don't know… Just going to get away from Boston. Who knows, I might end up liking it up there…"

"Hey, don't fuckin' talk like that. You'd lose your mind if you knew how much action you were missing down here." He slowly pours the whiskey into the glass like he was teasing me, and I watch it fill to the brim. "You have a gift, Charlie… A gift that allows you to be the man you are now, and a man like you would never survive in some dead-end job in a cubicle! Christ, I can't even imagine you with a tie…"

I laugh aloud at that as the liqueur settles in the glass and it calls my name like a lost lover.

He leans down closer with that fuckin' trademark smile of his plastered on his face, "This is how you make a living… and it's a good living at that too. Leaving this behind isn't going to change that. I mean, what the hell! It's putting Wally through school, isn't it? What would he do without all the dough we make? He certainly wouldn't have all of those tutors that's for fucking sure."

"Yeah… I guess that's true…" I slam down the drink once more and look at him, "Don't you… I don't know, ever want to be something else?"

He looked offended at that, "Me? Be something else? I've got everything I need right here!" He gestures to everything around him, "I've got my own bar, my best friend who nearly puts me out of business every day and my other best friend!" He shakes the bottle of alcohol at that laughs, "One you're very acquainted with. Besides, where else could you work and get free booze?"

He shakes the bottle once more and motions to the empty glass as I stare at it blankly. I want to argue further but he made all the points that really mattered, at least to me; Booze, Wally, and Bill. I sigh as push the glass towards him to be refilled and he absolutely gleams.

"That's the spirit! Haha!" He pours me the drink and smiles with those beady little eyes, "Now with that little fantasy out of the way, that little thing I need you to do later…"

"Yeah, yeah, I'll fuckin' handle it. Don't get your thong in a wad. I just gotta go find Dylan," I play with the glass some more and look up at him with a serious look "And another thing, no more giving Wally shit to do, you hear me? I don't care how well he's handling himself at the dead drops, he ain't allowed to do that shit and that's fuckin' final. If I find out otherwise so help me God…"

Bill gives me his shit eating smile and crosses his heart, "Of course! What do you take me for? An animal?"

"No, but you're a creature though… get it right." I chuckle out as I finish my drink.

"Hey, Charlie!" Wally calls out making me turn to see that he's shuffling a deck of cards, "Are you going to get in on this action or are you chicken? It's triple pot Tuesday and these pussies want a new player to even the field!"

I sigh and turn to the smaller teen while waving a hand at him, "Ah, go on without me, I'm not in the mood."

"Cluck cluck cluck is all I heard!" He starts dealing to the remainder of his friends who looked eager to win back their losses, "Loser buys dinner at Aidrah's Den! Come on!"

"Alright, Alright, give me a fuckin' minute, you little shit…" I sigh in annoyance and turn to leave but not before Bill grabs my arm and pulls me back so he can whisper to me.

"Charlie, remember." He jabs a finger into my chest with his trademark smile that now makes me sick to my stomach. "This is what you're good at…"

He pours me one last drink and slides it to me making me look at the filled glass with conviction.

"Now, have this last one on the house." His smile morphs into something more sinister as I grab onto it.

"This is who you are…"

I… Who I am…

I'm a fuckin' fool is what I am. Bill's fool… A dead fool…

"Charlie, can you hear me?" the voice of Spike asks, knocking me out of the thoughts making me realize that I froze up. "Are you alright? I wanted to ask if you'd be okay without the double chocolate chip and you kind of just started staring off into nothing there."

I don't answer immediately, and I feel something in my hand making me look down to realize that the mayor's notice was clenched in my hand tightly from the plethora of emotions slamming into me at once. It crinkles when I open it fully to gaze at the alien text and frown when I realize that once again, I'll be the root cause of ruining some decent folk who didn't really do anything wrong. I may be a fool but I ain't Bill's anymore and it's high fuckin' time I did something for me for a change whether it be the right call or not.

Quickly, I stand up making the chair squeal behind me as I walk out of the kitchen towards the main entrance at a moderate pace. I hear little feet patter behind me letting me know that Spike was following me but I really didn't pay him any mind as my feet glided across the floor towards the front door.

"Wait up! Where are you going?!" He shouts as I cross the threshold of the foyer and grab my quilt. I turn to look at the little shit who's staring at me confused until he sees the note in my hand and his scaled eyebrows shoot up, "You're going to go talk to Mayor right now, aren't you?"

Without answering I put the quilt on and adjust it so that it's facing the correct orientation. I hear Spike laugh a little and I stop to turn to him. He's rubbing his hands together like a little goblin along with a wicked smile and I swear his little fins take on the shape of horns as he does this to add to his nefarious chuckling.

"Oh, Celestia yes! I can't wait to see what you do at her office! Maybe you'll actually slap some sense into her like you did to Clutter!" He laughs out some more and raises his little arms over his head in joy, "This is going to be so awesome to see!"

I glare at the drake while sickened by his giddiness and turn fully to him, "You're not going to fuckin' see anything."

He stops his little celebration, and his hands fall slowly, "But I'm going with you! There's no way I'm letting you walk into the guarded Mayor's office all by yourself! What if she locks you up or something?"

"I'll fuckin' lock you up in the damn pantry again, buster…" I grumble out and he looks a little scared at the prospect of his once temporary prison a couple of months ago. "You're fucking staying here to use that goddamn oven I hauled all the way over just for you! You're going to sit here and bake to your hearts content and that's that!"

He shakes out of his fear and crosses his arms in annoyance, "Do you even know where her office is?"

"I fuckin'-" I was going to say 'do' however my mind draws a blank when I actually think about it for a moment. "Well, I'll fuckin' figure it out!"

He rolls his eyes and walks over to put on his winter attire once more, "Listen, as much as I don't want to go see her again this is something that has to be handled and I'd rather have the handler at least know where the hay he's going." he fixes his cap and looks at me, "Or did you want to wander around out there in the cold for hours instead?"

I… Okay, I'll admit that's actually a really good point though I hate it.

He walks towards the door and opens it making me sigh, "Twilight's going to be pissed you're not here doing what she wants, you know…"

He shrugs as he fixes his earmuffs, "Ahhh there's crackers in the kitchen they can feast on. It shouldn't be my problem anyways…"

A smirk actually comes out of me for that one. Cheeky little shithead.

"Are we going or what?" He asks as he as he stands in the doorway, and he puts his hands on his hips.

I blow air out of nose as he looks as determined as me to get to the bottom of this sanction business and I know that it's going to be almost impossible to talk him out of it. It can't be that bad I guess, could use the backup all in all. I look behind me at the warm library with a single moment to think if this is even worth it. On one hand, the Mayor's a cunt and she'll deserve the reckoning I'll bring her, but on the other hand, I've got a bad feeling in my gut about this. I don't know what it is but it isn't good.

Though, when have I been known to follow my gut? Just look at Paulie. My first instinct was to filet him from head to toe and I just suppressed it instead.

When my mind was made up, I look down at him, "Alright, you little shit, you win. Just fuckin' be quiet when we get there." I warn as he rocks a fist in excitement that I've basically given him permission. "As far as Twilight knows, we were here at the library. Capiche?"

He gives me a thumbs up and absolutely gleams, "I won't let you down, Charlie!" he turns and walks out of the house, "Now, let's go depose a political figure! Viva la revolucion!" He shouts out making some passerby ponies outside stop and gawk at him.

"Is it too late for the pantry prison?"

He answers that question by simply running off into the snow towards the town center leaving me alone to watch he hurriedly reach our goal.

I sigh as I look at the fresh sheet of snow that had fallen these last couple of hours and the small tracks the dragon leaves behind as he sprints away, "Fuck my life…"

The next thing I know, I'm out in the cold walking towards the establishment holding my target and I know for a fact she ain't ready for my appointment. Spike was running in front of me beyond excited for whatever reason and for the life of me I can't figure out why. This isn't going to be a fuckin' party nor is it going to be anything to be excited over in any way shape or form. This is going to be like ripping off a band aid; either it's coming off in one fell swoop or its going to cling to my ass hairs and make my cringe in pain.

Soon enough, Spike leads me upon a smaller cylindrical shaped building next to town hall where I had my trial all those weeks ago. Felt like years at this rate…. Anyways, the building was very similar to the bigger hall and if I'm being honest, looks like the cheap knock off version of it. Looks like they put all their time and money into the big obelisk behind me and then shit this one out. It looked the same, but it just appeared cheaper I guess is what I'm trying to say here.

Out front is a pair of pony guards standing side by side shivering as the cold winds slammed into them and half-lidded from what was probably a long shift that wasn't nearing its end. I've never seen them before, but they're armored like Flash Sentry however I can tell from the ornaments on their helmet or lack thereof that they were simply grunts, lowly privates. The two were armed with two pathetic things I guess you could call spears, but they were mostly using them to hold themselves up rather than to protect anything.

They must be a part of the garrison that dildo in the shape of Flash is in charge of. Oh well, I'm going to see the mayor and nothing's stopping me. The nameless guards stop their shivering as we approach and glares form as they prepare their spears to block the entrance, making an X out of them.

"HALT! Who goes there!" the one on the left, a white pegasus, demands.

"Your foaldaddy! Come here, son, let's go play catch to make up for all the years we missed!" I sneer out making him look really confused like he was even considering what I said was truthful, "Who the fuck do you think I am? Who else walks on two legs around here, retard? I'm sure you're fuckin' superior douche gave you at least that much info."

"Uh…" He stutters out and he looks to his comrade, a dark gray unicorn, who just shrugs. He coughs in his hoof and grows a determined look. "In the name of Princess Celestia, only those with proper authorization may enter the premises." He glares at me, "And you do not look like you have the proper authorization."

Great… It's a fuckin' checkpoint. How the fuck am I gonna get in there without beating these assholes to death with a spoon.

I shake my fist at him, and he readies himself for battle, "Proper fuckin' authorization?! I'll show you what proper authorization looks like you fuckin'-"

"We have a letter from the captain of the guard, Shining Armor!" Spike announces as he walks in front of me with a piece of paper in his hand, "He said it was crucial for Charlie to attend this meeting with the mayor!"

"Uh… Spike, we don't have-"

"Have time for this? I know, Charlie, give me one second." He seethes out that last word with a glare like he was trying to shut me up and turns back to the two, "We're late as it is and I really don't want to explain to Shining Armor that we couldn't attend this very important meeting."

The guards and I look extremely confused at this display. The unicorn now pipes up, "We didn't hear anything about a meeting with the mayor for the ape creature…" He glares at me, "In fact, the only orders we have for it is to keep him away from the locals which we'll be enforcing in a second if you don't clear out of here."

"Fuck you too, crayon muncher. Although can you speak up? I can't really hear you, not with all of that Bull cock up your bunghole in the way."

Just as the guard was about to respond to me, Spike makes himself known again as he waves the paper, "Sirs, as I've said we're on strict orders from Shining Armor," He puts his hands on his hips and glares at the two, "or do I have to tell his sister that we couldn't pass because a pair of brain-dead stallions got in our ways."

Sister? What the fuck kind of bluff is he pulling here? We don't know his sister.

The pegasus was about to reprimand him when his fox hole unicorn buddy stops him, "Hey, isn't that the dragon who came in with Twilight Sparkle and the commander yesterday?"

Wait, Twilight? What the fuck does she have to do with anything?

The pegasus looks at the dragon and he goes even more white than before and whispers back, "Uh… yeah, now that you mention it, I think it is. It's her assistant, I think. Do you think this meeting is legitimate?"

The unicorn hums, "Well, we're kind of low on the totem pole… it's possible the orders didn't get that far down yet…"

"I don't know…" The pegasus looks at me and frowns, "He can't be serious about telling Shining Armor, can he? And I met Twilight, she seemed like nice enough sort, nice enough not to tattle."

The unicorn swiftly hit the back of his helmet with his spear, "The captain's her brother, you idiot! I'm sure he means it!" he remarks as they argue amongst themselves for a moment while my mind breaks.

WHAT. THE. FUCK? That cunt wad is Twilight's fuckin' brother?!

The spike turns to leave in the middle of their silent squabbling, "You heard them, Charlie, we'll just have to tell Twilight that we couldn't get in because of a pair of good soldiers didn't let us." he turns back with a smile when the two soldier stop bickering and shit themselves with fear, "By the way, what's your names and ranks again? I want to make sure I get the details right when he asks us what happened."

They both look at each other, whisper some more, and swiftly nod in tandem before removing their spears from the entrance, "We apologize for the inconvenience, sirs. Please have a wonderful day and give our regards to the captain's sister for us."

Spike salutes while holding his giggling and looks to me with a strained face, "Pffff You heard the stallions! Let's-HA-get to it!"

The drake runs inside like he was holding in a shit leaving me out in the cold with this newfound information. The fuckin' Captain of the Royal Guard is Twilight's sister… And I'm fuckin' living with her… Let me repeat that again for those in the back. The cock-cicle in charge of the entire Pony armed forces and wants me dead and rotting in a ravine somewhere is the brother of the same mare I've been bunked with for more than half a year…

"Fuck me man…" I say aloud and I stare down at my feet, seeing one of my toes poke out, and shake my head, "Oh well, I'll have to bookmark that one for later…"

As I'm walking towards the door, I eye up the pegasus who was giving us lip and I could tell that he was definitlely spooked by the hollow threat that will turn real if he ever fucks with me again. I could even see the bead of sweat foll down his snout as he side eyed me letting me know that he wouldn't dare to if he had any brains in that helmet of his. I walk in and shut the door only to hear Spike absolutely dying behind me. Turning, a frown forms as I see him on the ground holding his belly and kicking his legs.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA did you see the way they pooped their armor when I brought up Twilight! That was priceless! PRICELESS!"

"Yeah, you really had them stumped…" I say as I roll my eyes, "Why didn't anyone tell me Twilight is his fuckin' sister?"

"And then! And then! The way they both looked at each other when I asked their name and rank? Oh, by the stars I wish I had a camera on me!"

My eyebrows fall even lower in irritation to the point I look like the dad from Cloudy with a Chance for Meatballs when I realize I'm not going to get an answer out of him anytime soon, so I decide to have a look around instead. If I'm going to commit national espionage I may as well pay attention to any and all entrances or possible threats. It's like I'm back at home again…

Ignoring the hootin' and hollerin' rabbit turd, I gaze upon the interior with disgust when I see that we're in some kind of foyer for a pretty stand in government building that I've ever seen. Hard gray colored tiled flooring, portraits of bureaucrats adorning the white walls along with anything that resembled anything to do with the nation; Flags, banners, motto's or what I assume are mottos.

Christ, I'm in the fuckin' DMV from the looks of things… Great, just great. All I'm missing now is an annoying receptionist who doesn't possess a soul asking if I have an appointment or not.

"Do you have an appointment?" A bored looking mare pegasus who is currently filing her hoof without looking up calls out at the other side of the room making me groan audibly.

Son of bitch…

I kick Spike in the side causing him to yelp and look up, "Come on, we've got another checkpoint to deal with chuckle-nuts."

He mumbles something about me being a kill joy as he stands up and we approach this new mare whom I've had the pleasure of avoiding until today. This piece of shit had a rose-colored coat with light cotton candy pink mane which was swirled into one of those old 70's bees nest styles. She was looking at a magazine while filing that hoof I mentioned earlier, and it didn't even look like she had even looked in our direction yet. She sat at a gigantic receptionist desk with a huge portrait of the accursed Mayor behind her.

Spike walks up and stands on his tippy toes to gaze over and coughs in his hand, "Hey, Rose Bud! Long time no see! We're here to see the Mayor."

She flips a page and snorts, "Do you have an appointment today, Spike?" She asks with a bit of a nasally voice that was grating on the ears.

"Well, you see, not exactly… we're just-"

"You can only see the Mayor if you have an appointment, especially on Hearth's Warming Eve." She puts the magazine down and looks at him, "Seriously, you should know how this works by now with how you and Twilight come in and out all the-" She stops when her gaze looks up a little and she sees me standing there tapping my foot impatiently.

"Oh no, do please go on!" I shout and she begins to shrink in her seat, "Continue to tell us how we're the pair of jerkoffs we are and that we should just wipe our asshole on the door on the way out. Don't stop on my account."

She stutters as she seems to realize just why I'm here and she slides the magazine and some other girly office shit into a drawer while she clears her throat, "u-um… The m-mayor isn't available at the moment and she won't be available until the holiday's are concluded. The next appointment that's available will be in late spring." My low rumbling growl with my narrowed eyes causes her to shrink even more and she looks at the schedule book again, "M-maybe I c-can push it up to early Spring?"

"Where's the Mayor?" I ask calmly though it sounded like it cut through the air with tension as I said it.

He eyes shrink, "The M-Mayor? She's in a meeting at the moment. The last meeting of the day actually now that I mention it. Hehe."

"And how long may that take by chance?" I ask again, my patience thinning to angel hair as each pointless question is being asked.

"T-the… rest of the day?" She says as if even she was unsure and she gleams a bright nervous smile.

"Hmm hmm…" I look down at Spike, "Where's her office at?"

He points to a set of brown mahogany double doors with gold trimmed knobs and hardware, "Right in there." he giggles knowing just why I asked, "Go get him tiger…"

"Okay! Perfect! You hear that, Rose Bud?" She cringes upon hearing her name and she follows my finger when I point at the entrance, "That's the Mayor's office! The office of the dingleberry I have to go talk to! And she's in there! Oh, a joyous day it is that I've lucked out in such a manner! Do you know what that means?"

She shakes her head no, too scared to voice the word herself.

"It means, I'm going to go enter those doors where the Mayor is located and then I'm going to go, say it with me now, talk to her immediately." She mouths off the last part of the sentence with me just as I instructed, and she shivers in fear. "Alright? We good? I'm glad we had this conversation…" I barf out as I take a few steps towards the door with little Spike right behind me.

"W-wait a moment, she's not alone in there!" She calls out as I grab onto the handles.

"Then they'll have to leave! Simple as!" I bark out with a laugh and without another thought, I turn the handles and open the double doors with swiftness, "Oh Honey, I'm hooome~ You make me that green bean casserole I like?"

My cheekiness is cut a little short when I realize just who the Mayor had this so-called meeting with. The Cake's were standing next to each other with that dinner plate eyed stare when they look at me along with the others in the room. One being that cum lord Filthy Rich himself sitting in a chair all the way on the right holding what looked like a quill and a piece of parchment. It looked like he was about to hand it to the bakers themselves before I busted in.

The last and least important, was the Mayor sitting behind her desk which was stacked with all sorts of papers, binders, books, folders, and whatever else you can stick a paper clip into. Her mild shock slowly cooked into animosity when she realized who had just barged into her meeting.

"What is the meaning of this!" She declares as she sits tall of pride, "Spike? What is happening here?!"

"Ahh don't look at me, Mayor, I'm just here to watch!" He sits firmly on the ground and puts his head in his hands with a big dopey smile to match it. "It's his show."

The mayor straightens herself and chastises me indignantly, "This is a restricted area without the proper credentials nor authorization!"

"Yeah, well I thought about those things that you just said and then I decided to just not give a shit! Crazy, right?" I cross my arms and glare at her, "You've got some fuckin' explaining to do and you better start elaborating quickly because I ain't leaving until I get what I fuckin' want."

"An explanation for what!?" She screams out, completely flabbergasted that I had just decided to make her office my own personal toilet.

"FOR THIS!" I dramatically hold the notice up to the whole lot and they blink at me silently.

"Uh, It's upside down."

"Oh, for the love of-" I flip it and do my pose again, "FOR THIS!"

The mayor adjusts her glasses as she looks at the piece of paper and her look of ire quickly transforms into understanding but before she could give me a response the speckled dick wearing a nauseating bright red tie with a white collar sitting near her explodes.

"This is complete nonsense!" Filthy calls out and he turns to the Mayor, "Call the guards immediately to remove this monkey so that we can resume the bill of sale! They were just about to sign it!"

"Bill of sale?" I look over at the Cake's who looked almost ashamed of the term when I repeated it, "Oh you're talking about these two clowns. Cup, Carrot can you please go take a fuckin' hike so I can talk to the mayor in private."

They chatter in fear a little as they look at Filthy, but honestly it looked like they were deciding who to be more scared of. Me or the Mr Monopoly man over here.

"Mr. and Mrs. Cake, if you leave now, my offer will be reduced even further!" Filthy barks out, "I won't be so patient if-"

"Shut your fuckin' hole!" I holler as I walk closer and jab a finger into his breast, "They're fuckin' leaving right now and if I find out that you punish them at all over this, I'll fuckin' destroy your business next and believe me when I tell you that there'll be nothing left to stick a for sale sign in front of this time when I'm fuckin' done with it. You'll be forced to suck dick on the side of the road for profit and we'll see just how fuckin' merciful I'll be then when I happen by you fuck! Might even give you 10 bucks instead of 5 for the service if you're not all teeth."

Filthy actually flinches at hearing the threat to his business but shifts a glare towards the Mayor like she should be doing something about this.

The mayor after giving me a blank look as well as flicking her eyes towards the sanction notice finally sighs, "Since I don't have the troops required at the moment because of holiday leave, I'm afraid we will have to cut this meeting short, Flithy." The tan colored stallion stutters upon hearing this but doesn't actually make a sentence out of anything allowing the Mayor to turn to the others and continues "Mr. and Mrs. Cake, we shall continue this meeting after the holidays on Tuesday. Since this was rudely canceled, I would suggest simply meeting on the grounds of the property in question the morning of. If that is alright with you, Carrot Cake."

Filthy looked like he was going to have a seizure, "This-this is unprecedented! Canceling a bill of sale just before the deal was struck!? This is beyond an inconvenience! This is an outrage!"

Carrot Cake on the other end of the shit stick, releases a sigh of relief hearing the news of his property deal being delayed and gives me an expression that almost looked grateful for some odd reason; however, it didn't stay for very long as fear returned quickly. Without being told twice, they agreed to the terms and the pair bid adieu, hurriedly vacating the premises like I was going to come after them next.

In the middle of Filthy's rant, the Mayor silences him, "Filthy, I understand how upsetting this is to hear and how vexed you may feel, however given the circumstances I cannot ignore-" Her eyes dart to me with hatred, "Him at the moment. We shall resume like nothing had occurred after tomorrow."

The stallion runs a hoof through his main, straightens his tie and heaves a heavy sigh, "…very well… We shall resume on Tuesday then and hopefully without any more delays. I'd like to get my crews in to start remodeling as soon as possible."

"That's right, get the fuck out of here, you dildo." I remark as my scowl at the mayor deepens.

He jumps off his chair and makes his way towards the door but not without stopping by me, "You know, after that day in the Library I detested you like no other and have come to the conclusion that your presence here is nothing short of a blemish on this town, however, that's not without some upsides!"

"What the fuck does that mean?" I snarl as I turn to him.

He simply smiles, "Without you, I'd not have the opportunity to buy that bakery and several other properties around city square. A spot for my second general store smack dab in the middle of town for the desperate price they're giving me? Why, that's what I call a steal all thanks to you. Here, go have a cider on me." He drops a bit onto the ground and it spins around some as he laughs, " and have a merry Hearth's Warming because I know I sure am."

I glare at the coin as he walks away without saying a word because I know it's true. I basically threw a building right on his lap for the taking and he's eating it up like the asshole he is. I know too much about that for my own good. Flipping deeds was my bread and butter. I destroyed my fair share of livelihoods doing it. The difference between me and this, Filthy, on the other hand does it without any threat of punishment at all. In fact, he's probably encouraged to do it by the Mayor herself to churn up business. Fuckin' cunt.

The Mayor clears her throat and looks at me more than annoyed when we finally have the room to ourselves, "So, what does the monster of the library need from me this fine afternoon? Perhaps you're finally here to turn yourself in? Or do you want to try another bribe? That worked very well for you the last time."

"And why would I fuckin' turn myself in? And for what? I was acquitted or are you already going senile, Mrs. gray and barren." I point at her hair, "You should maybe try to get it dyed blonde or something. Might make you seem like you haven't gone through menopause yet."

She actually smiles at my insult though I know it isn't out of humor, "For destroying the town obviously, among other things."

"And were those 'other things' proven in the court of law?" I throw up quotation marks to emphasize the point, "You made such an amazing case during the trial it's a wonder how I got out unscathed. Oh! I know, it's because the Princess wouldn't allow you to do any of that shit anyways. Her word goes and all that."

She blinks at that and shakes her head, "Hm, that is true, but there are other means of punishment other than banishment." She looks at the letter and clears her throat so she can read it in full. The mayor laughs and takes off her glasses when she finishes reading to look at me fully, "That's a good start, I think, and not even close to the beginning of what I have planned."

I hold the paper up as I lower down to glare at her properly, "This isn't even fit to wipe my own ass with. What you wrote here is bullshit." I spit on the floor and my disgust grows, "And this is the start of some serious fuckery afoot and it ain't gonna work. The sanctions, those fuckin' posters… it's bound to fail, they're too well liked in this town to be run out."

She gazes at it with a smile, "if it's not going to work, then why are you here?"

She laughs at that and pulls out one of the many renditions of those propaganda poster I was talking about. This one in particular being one depicting Rarity looking like the witch from Snow White holding a shiny emerald like she stole it.

I scowl at her as I realize there's some merit to her words, "They didn't fuckin' do anything."

She settles back into her chair as she offhandedly looks at pieces of paper like I wasn't there, "That is true, and neither did the Cake's or any other pony who crossed your path. Just like Twilight and her friends. They are indeed innocent in this matter, and they'll remain innocent when the matter is concluded. The same cannot be said about you."

"Twilight practically runs this shit hole you call a town and all you're doing is throwing her under the bus for no reason!" I yell out and she does show some remorse at my words.

"Yes, it will be hard without Twilight's managerial abilities, but we shall persevere as have our ancestors before her. She'll understand our decision." She declares as looks at some papers.

"What about Rarity? Fluttershy? Pinkie Pie? Appalejack? You're just going to fuck em up the ass without a proper reach around too?"

She looks out the window with a somber expression, "Yes… it is unfortunate that the Elements are all indeed pillars of the community here in Ponyville and they will be sorely missed in their absence. However, the Elements have all made their decision in keeping their promise to the crown and I have made my decision in keeping my promise to Ponyville. The only one who seems to be on the right side of this whole debacle is Miss Rainbow Dash which is why her name is not among the rest."

"That fuckin' cunt knows you're doing this?" I all but growl out at the notion that techincolor herpes blister has anything to do with this.

She pops an eyebrow, "Miss Dash? No, she knows not of the towns plan, but she'll fall in line because of her hatred of you no doubt. A common feeling with the rest of the townsponies here in Ponyville."

"Then why-fuckin' look at me dammit!" I slam a fist down onto her desk cause some of her things to topple over and her gaze finally shifts towards me with a bored expression, "Then why the fuck are you doing this to them! I'm the one you fuckin' want not Twilight or the rest! Fuckin' just keep it between us and only us. I'm the fuckin' one you don't like, not them! Just fuckin' tax me!"

"That wouldn't work." She says rather quickly with that same bored look and returns to her work.

I ever so slightly shake my head in befuddlement, "And why the fuck not!?"

"Because I know it won't change anything if I just target you! If I can't remove you from the town myself, then I'll get rid of the ones keeping you here. It is radical, but it will be proven effective in due time." She looks at me angrily, "What will happen if I do that. Will you take that as some message to leave on your own!? No! You'll continue to feed off the Elements for food and bed like you have since you arrived, and I think you know that too! It's already been a month since 'justice' was given and what have you to show for it?"

"I'll fuckin' show you something in a damn second if you don't shut your fuckin' mouth…"

Her eyes narrow, "My point exactly… You were given more than enough mercy from the Elements and the Princess, yet you still persist."

"You-Celestia won't let you! She'll hear about this and she'll fuckin' stop you!" I scream out as I'm running out of ideas of how to stop this myself.

She rolls her eyes, "Princess Celestia is away overseas at the moment and will be away for some time. Even with her eventual return, she'll have to veto my decision through the courts where there will be due process and not without some serious backlash. A process which will give me plenty of time to enforce this new initiative and by the time she rescinds it, you'll be gone."

My hands ball into fists and stare in contempt, but I remain silent.

She eyes me up and down and cocks her head, "Why do you care anyways? About them leaving or about where you end up? This place is a temporary set up, is it not? You'll just follow them and be some other towns problem."

I start pacing, "This is their fuckin' home! They didn't do anything, just doing their fuckin' job!"

"As am I, Charles…" She looks at me blankly as she takes off her glasses, laying them on the desk, "Did you know I was an ambassador to the Princess for the early years of my career? I traveled the world on the courts behalf and saw the wonders of the realms and the cultures of its inhabitants. All uniquely different for better or for worse. I've also seen ponies like you out there in the world too unfortunately, each more repugnant than the last."

"Yeah, well I come from a big family apparently," I snort at that and roll my eyes. "Is there a fuckin' point to this? You want me to bow or something?"

She ignores my comment and leans forward, "What are you planning on achieving right now by being here? Have me simply forget about your transgressions because you promise to break my legs? Perhaps rattle me into fear by threatening my life? How about making me simply just disappear… Something I'm sure you've done before no doubt given your savage nature."

I frown as she says that, but I don't answer.

She places her glasses back on her face and looks over towards a globe with the odd terrain and countries that are so foreign to me and sighs, "You ask me why I am betraying the elements when somepony such as yourself hides behind them without a care, risking everything it you come in contact with. Even after your beyond lenient sentencing, you still have that air about you that says you can do anything without any repercussions, and it makes me sick. I cannot forget what you've done to my ponies and I can't just sit here and let you stroll around without a care in the world without doing something to stop you and if I have to sacrifice the few to save the many then so be it."

"If you had any heart at all inside that body of yours and you truly cared about them, then the best thing for you to do is to simply leave town and save us all from yourself. Only then I'll remove the sanctions, but we both know you're far too selfish for that."

"…" I can't even argue that point.

She takes my stunned silence to continue, "I resigned as an ambassador of Equestria and took up the office of Ponyville instead for a reason. I've seen enough violence and I don't plan on seeing again it anymore." She looked back at me with tired eyes and puts her hooves at her side, "So go ahead, go do you do best. Go get angry and wreck my office, grab onto my neck and threaten my legs, or maybe go on another rampage? In the end it won't change anything except make you feel better."

"Who do you think you are?!" Spike shouts out, making himself known in the room as my mental duress gets worse, "After everything we've done for you, you coward!?"

The mayor says some kind of rebuttal, but I don't hear it as her request floats around in my head like a bad hangover.

I… Leave town? But… where the fuck would I go? I can't exactly just walk up the castle in Canterlot and knock on the front door. Not to mention, I still need Twilight to go home. She may be the only one who can help me out here. I know she's been trying to recreate that spell, but how the fuck would I do it without her?

Even now, you're too worried about going home and not the people whose lives you're destroying.

What's the hell's wrong with you, Charlie?

What do you mean? Getting home is all that fuckin' matters, brain. Why should I care about a bunch of dumb animals? I didn't ask for them to fuckin' put their necks out for me.

But they did it anyways, didn't they?

And now they're paying for it.

Are you worth it, Charlie?

I look towards the drake and the older mare who are holding a grudge match of shouting, but their words don't mean anything to me. Spike looks absolutely livid with the government tool as his face is a glowering red and steam is exiting his nostrils.

But why am I even bothering to waste my breath?

Even the Mayor, a complete stranger, knows it…

This is just who you are…

And it's who you'll always be…

My thoughts recede back into my brain leaving me feeling a certain void within me and the voice of Spike fills my ears as he's in the middle of screaming his tiny head off.

"-en you're insane if you think we're helping you with Winter Wrap Up now! In fact, I'll go as far as to make sure it's my duty that it goes as wrong as possible!" He jabs a clawed finger at her breast, "and another thing-"

"Spike, that's enough!" I yell out making him turn away from his rant, "C'mon, we're leaving."

"W-what?" He looks back between me and a surprised Mayor, "What do you mean we're leaving? We still haven't to figure this out yet!"

"You fuckin' heard her, she's already made up her mind and no amount of yelling is going to change that. We got better shit to do, like make those fuckin' deserts you gotta make…" I sound so tired it's not even funny.

He walks over to me and points an angry finger at the Mayor, "How can you even think that when this packing peanut still has more to answer for?! We're not-"

"I said, we're fuckin' done! So, move it!" Spike shrinks at my yelling and after a moment looks at the ground and kicks the floor before charging out of the room with a huff.

"I'm glad one of you seems to have a hold of their senses…" The Mayor says, quite amused by the display.

Malice takes over my features causing her amusement to cease for a moment and I point at her, "Just because we're leaving doesn't mean this is over…"

I walk over to her desk, swiping the notice from her and make my way out her office, but not before she calls out as my ass is already out of the room, "It may not be over for you, but when will it be over for the rest of us?"

Spike is nowhere to be seen in the lobby, only a terrified Rose Bud remained as she cowered behind her desk, but she's ignored while I make my way outside where I assume the drake is waiting. Soon enough, I reach outside where the two guards snap at attention in the brisk cold without a word and I look around the frozen hellscape to see him leaning against a pole in disgust. He looks over to see me and quickly turns away cluing me in that this is gonna be a fuckin' problem.

Begrudgingly, I walk over to him, stick my hands in my pockets, and sigh, "Well, that sucked…"

He scoffs but doesn't say anything.

"Listen, I ain't happy about this either." I patronize at him, and he looks up at me, "There's just nothing else we could have done in there."

He scoffs again as he rubs his mohawk, "Says you. What happened to charging in there and giving her a piece of your mind?"

My expression hardens as I rub my hands together to warm them up, "What do you fuckin' mean? That's exactly what I fuckin' did or were you not listening?"

"Oh, I was listening alright, but I didn't hear what needed to be said!" He looks up at me with a clenched jaw.

"And what the fuck did you want me to say? Huh? You wanted me to grovel at her feet? Maybe suck on her toes a little?" I wave my hands around at my sides to emphasize my point, "What did you want?"

"I wanted you to-" He stops like he almost didn't want to say it out loud and he looks around my leg to see if no one was listening and he looks back up, "I wanted you to tell her the same thing you told Clutter! The exact same thing!"

I feel my eye twitch as I realize what he's talking about, "And what the fuck would that have solved? You heard what she said! It would have done nothing! It would have gotten that hole I'm stuck in even deeper."

He shrugs in contempt, "It would have felt good at least…"

"Yes, but that's not-" I pause to wipe my face and heave a huge audible sigh, "Spike, you can't just hit things and expect them to fall in line."

"Isn't that what you do though all the time though?" He asks me and he boisterously waves his hands above his head, "That was your whole job before remember? The thing you were so good at?"

"That's enough!" He crosses his arms and looks down in disappointment, "You're going to fuckin' shut your goddamn mouth and just take it! You got that!?"

He shifts into his crossed position even more and doesn't give me an answer giving me major deja vu.

A chill hits me and I wrap the blanket around me tighter and look around, "I'll tell you what we're going to do. We're going to go find Twilight, tell her what happened, what the mayor's planning, and figure it out from there. That sound good to you, boots?"

He shrugs still deep in thought and after a moment he looks up at me with fearful eyes, "You're… you're not going to leave because of this, are you?"

I roll my eyes, "Fuck no, I'll leave when you turds find a portal home. That answer your question?"

He looks down like that wasn't exactly what he wanted to hear, but eventually huffs, "Fine… she might still be at the Boutique if we hurry. I think that pageant thing starts in about an hour."

A pain shoots through my head which makes me wince, "Fuckin' good, cause when this is over, we're going to go take a fuckin' nap."

With that, we made our way towards the other part of town which was pretty uneventful. Well, aside from the large number of ponies congregating towards town hall where I assume the play is happening. Thankfully, none of them really paid us much mind. Maybe a scowl here and there, but nothing serious. Spike though still wasn't feeling this plan of mine at all. He was following behind me as we marched along, and he was quiet the entire time as he pulled on his scarf. Looked like he was still thinking about something, God only knows what.

Too bad I've got more shit to deal with than an 80s action star to really do anything about it at the moment.

The boutique came into view in no time at all and if my mind wasn't so warped from the confrontation with the mayor, it'd make me gag. It's decorated to sin and I fuckin' mean that. Large blinking lights on the roof, snowmen standing guard out front of the walkway to the entrance, sparkling candy canes were situated on either side of the door, wreathes galore on every fuckin' window and glass pane around, fuckin' gingerbread pony looking things set up around the mailbox and all all of them are glowing like you wouldn't believe. I'm pretty sure you can see it from space. Fuckin' disgusting. Her electric bill must be insane!

I see Spike walk around me, not giving the decorations any mind at all as he walked to the door and turned to me like he was waiting. He was still sulking I guess over whatever the fuck.

Soon enough, I join him but before I could barge in, I look down at him. "Spike, for the love of God, just let me deal with this. they're going to be pissed, more than you. Okay?"

He doesn't look at me bust shrugs, so I guess he at least heard me somewhat. With that I turn the knob on the door and walk inside.

Which was a mistake immediately as it seemed the entire fuckin' crew was assembled inside with inquisitive gazes at the new figure who waltzed in. The three Cutie Mark Crusaders all turn as they were standing in the middle of the room, fully costumed.

Sweetie Belle who was dressed in this weird, hooded cloak thing made out of a potato sack. Made her look like fuckin' Igor if I'm being honest. I mean, how fuckin' lazy could you to pass that off as a fuckin' costume? Apple Bloom on the other hand, standing next to the other filly, was wearing this… uh… renaissance jack and the beanstalk looking thing? She wore a brown pointed hat cap with a seamless brim and a bright white feather sticking out of her head and her jacket/shirt/dress thing shared the same color as well as having striped sleeves with this doily looking thing as trim. What the fuck is she supposed to be? Turdeo and Toiliet?

And finally, out of the three fillies was Scootaloo who was holding a big ass smile seeing me enter. She wore probably the best costume out of the three in my opinion, that being this roman/spartan armor that was a charcoal gray with gold trimming including this badass lightning bolt on her chest. The helmet was very likewise to that of the royal guard if not a tad flashier with the mohawk thing above her head with sharing the same dark coloring of the armor.

At least she was happy to see me, because the pony standing next to her though sure fuckin' wasn't and someone I had definitely wanted to avoid seeing at all, let alone today. Fuckin' Rainbow Dash was looking at me like I had insulted her relatives as always, but stayed quiet as to see what my next move was, no doubt waiting for me go violent like always. To the left of them, by the changing rooms was Flash and Twilight, the former was looking at me annoyed while the latter brimmed a bright smile at me appearnce.

Twilight finally opened her mouth, "Charlie? What are you doing here? I thought you wanted to celebrate the holiday's being alone and miserable?"

I clasp my hands together underneath the quilt as I prepare how to give them all the bad news, "Yeah… I still fuckin' do, but we have a little problem that needs-"

"Ooh ooh! Charlie, you made it!" Sweetie Belle cheered out, she and the other two little one's trot over, "I knew you wanted to see the play!"

"Uh, no I fuckin' don't want to-"

"Of course, he'd come, you idjit! I told you so." Apple Bloom announces proudly, her hat sways slightly as she bounces over.

"You didn't say no such thing!" Sweetie Belle sticks a tongue out at her causing the two to shout at each other while their snouts pushed the other as they did so.

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

The armored filly squeezes between them and making them stop bickering and looks at me with a smile, "Hey, Charlie! We did everything that you told us to do so hopefully we're all good. I wanted to thank you for all your help. I don't know if I'm ready, but we'll have to see. I'm actually a little nerv-" She stops her sentence mid pause and looks behind her to see a confused Rainbow Dash. "I-I mean, we're going to completely crush this paegent! Right, fillies?"

They all start cheering and hooting like a bunch of football fans as they huddled together in this weird handshake ritual thing that was kind of amusing.

Twilight gets in between them to break them up and looks at me with some trepidation at my serious look, "Alright, fillies, how about we settle down. Charlie looks like he needs to talk to us."

"Wait, thank you?" Rainbow calls out to the orange fillywith a confused look, "Why are you thanking this giant hairless lemur for?"

Scootaloo looked like she was caught in a rat trap, "Uh… you see…"

"Oh! There you are, Charlie! What a pleasant surprise!" Rarity blurts out as she trots over from the kitchen wearing some kind of winter dress looking thing. It's got fuckin' snowflakes and things on it. "I've been waiting for you to show up for the better part of the week and I desperately need you for just one moment."

"Rarity, this isn't really the best time for-"

"Oh, horseradish, it'll only take a moment," She admonishes when she grips my hand with her magic and pulls me towards her work area without my consent, "I just need some final measurements quickly and since you're so inclined to ignore me for weeks at a time, I better get them now before you disappear again or else, I'll never be able to finish my project."

"Rarity, I really don't fuckin' want to-" She gives me a look that just screamed an incoming 20-minute argument causing me sigh, "Ugh fuckin' fine, but hurry it up! There's something I need to tell you all in private."

I hear a snort behind me when Rarity assaults me with measuring tape, "Ooh let me guess, you finally figured out that eating your own feces is not really good for you. I'm so proud…" Flash quips making me dead eye him and his smirk falters some, but before he could do really do anything else Scootaloo pulls on his wing making him yelp.

"Alright, Mr. Sentry, that's enough out of you. We're going to be late and I need you to carry those saddle bags to the play! It's only 40 minutes until showtime and we need to set up the, you know, the thing!" She yells out as she adjusts her helmet.

Twilight summons her clock and nods, "Hmm and so it is, Scootaloo," She turns to the other fillies and smiles, "How about you all follow Mr. Sentry here to the play and we'll meet up just in time."

"Aww what!?" Scootaloo screams out, "Why can't we all go now? You're all going to miss my awesome performance!"

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle both roll their eyes at this.

Rainbow flies over and hovers above her as she taps on her helmet with a smile, "It's alright, twerp, we ain't gonna miss this for the world. We'll see you in the clouds."

The filly didn't look too convinced, "…Okay, as long as you see how awesome I am!"

Rainbow gives her a noogie with her hoof and gives a hearty chuckle, "You got it! Now, go on! I'll meet you there!"

With that, the group leaves the building, but not without Flash giving me a strange look. He doesn't say anything, though I know he's as intrigued a shitbag like him can be however he can fuckin' wait to hear about it. Soon enough, I'm pulled against my will and Rarity attacks me with a flurry of measurements with the others crowding around me to see what I had to spill. Spike was still sulking a little bit aways behind them, but nevertheless still wanted to see how I'd go about this as he looked at me.

"You can talk while I work, I'll be done in a moment. Just pretend I'm not here." the seamstress says like her forcing my arms out to my sides isn't the most annoying thing ever.

"Yeah, monkey,what could you possibly want to say to us that needs all of our attention?" Rainbow remarks as she laid bored on the ground, "I've got things to do for the white out tomorrow so make it quick."

I glare at her. "I'm sure that's the not the only white out's you take, you fuckin' cum rag."

"Rainbow, just calm down…" Twilight chides as she turns to me. "And Charlie behave or I'll hit you with soap." We both grumble to ourselves at that letting the mare clear her throat, "So, what's so important that you had to rush all the way over here from the safety of you're cocoon of blankets in the Library?"

I sigh out loud and look at her as I try to find a way to word it best, "Well we kind of-you see,we may have-uh…"

"It's the Mayor!" Spike shouts with a scowl making them all turn. "She's plotting to have us banished from town."

My mouth falls open for being interrupted yet again, and what do you know the dragon completely ignored me, "SPIKE! What the hell did I just tell you?!"

He puts his hands on his hips, "Well, you weren't going to say it."

There was a deafening silence as the three ponies look at the dragon in a perturbed stillness before Rainbow falls over laughing.

"pffffft Remove us from town? Why the hay would she do a thing like that?"

Spike simply walks over and hands her the notice that was now kind of crumpled from me angrily waving it around a few moments ago.

" Hoo! I really needed that." She wipes a tear with a hoof and looks at it, "What's this?"

"The order from the prestigious mayor herself so you can laugh at it even more, you clown." Spike blinks and shoves it in her hoof so he can go sit down by the table.

Rainbow still amused takes the note and reads it aloud though the further down she gets to the more alarmed she seemed until she all but yelled out the last line in outrage.

"In accordance of the mayoral duties of Equestria, I Mayor Mare, have heard you're voices and will act accordingly to make sure that you're doubts have been appeased. Effective immediately, Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Applejack will all be inherently sanctioned a serious fee from any member of the market committee as agreed upon and anypony who denies this order will be added to the list. This may seem radical however it has been seen that this situation will only be corrected internally as shown by Princess Celestia's inability to protect her citizens from threats externally. These sanctions will only be temporary until the situation is resolved and it will be resolved?"

"What the hay kind of notice is this?!" Rainbow cries out as she finishes the last sentence. Rainbow zips towards the dragon with zeal and grabs a hold of him, "Spike, if this is a prank then it isn't funny!"

The dragon simply shrugged, "You seemed to find it funny a minute ago. Though, you still might since you're not on the list, traitor."

Rainbow starts foaming at the mouth, "A TRAITOR!? Why you little-"

Twilight grabs the angry flying mare with her magic and pulls her away as she looks between the two of us, "How-how do you two find out about this!"

Spike glares at me, "Yeah, Charlie, how did we find out about this I wonder."

I walk over and stare him down, "Spike, I fuckin' told you to let me handle this."

"Just like I let you handle the Mayor? You didn't even fight her! She just ate up every second of it and then we left her office!" He shouts back and my mind starts to scream that deja vu feeling as the argument gets worse.

"Wait, you were at the mayor's office?" Twilight asks confused but I already had my attention fully on something at the moment.

I poke him with my boot, "And I fuckin' told you that there was nothing I could have done! You're just grasping at straws hoping I'd crush her fuckin' skull like I did to Clutter! Well, guess what! I didn't do whatever the fuck it is you wanted, tough shit!"

"Clutter? What are you two talkin-"

Spike pokes me back and his body starts to blink at me with different colors, "and you, for whatever reason, decided you were a big scaredy cat! After fighting off an entire town, beating up locals and wildlife now of all times you decide you don't have a spine? You want to know what I think?"

My head starts to feel fuzzy and I don't know why but I ignore it, "Oh C'mon, lay it on me! Huh? What the fuck do you think? Tell me!"

He glares up at me and his dragon like features slowly morph into a teen I knew all to well, "I think you're being a coward! Running away to Maine isn't going to solve anything, Charlie!"

My teeth grind and I feel my fists tighten hearing this and I scream at the top of my lungs in an almost instinctual way.

"FOR ONCE IN YOUR FUCKIN' LIFE, WILL YOU LISTEN TO YOUR GODDAMN BROTHER, WALLY!"