The next morning, Bella woke to Jasper's embrace. Her face felt puffy with sleep, and she desperately needed a sip of water, but something about him gave her pause.

It wasn't the coldness of his skin, or his death-like stillness. She was used to the lack of breathing and the rigidity that came with a body that didn't require movement to promote circulation. But now, when Bella turned her head back to look at him, his eyes were closed as he lay behind her. He was over the covers, with all the intention, she suspected, of not stealing too much of her body heat. An arm was lazily draped over her torso, unmoving, and protective. The weight of it pressed her down to the bed, and it was strangely comforting to be so confined.

Jasper, save for his stiff vampirism, simply looked asleep.

Bella wiggled, and the arm on her lifted only briefly, as if he knew she wouldn't be able to move with its full weight on her. Flipping towards him, she stuck her face beneath his neck. "Good morning."

When he didn't respond, she peeked up at him, and she delighted at the little smile on his lips.

Bella asked, a gentle laugh in her tone, "Did you sleep well?"

"I've rested well," he corrected, his voice light. "Your father gets up a lot, have you noticed?"

"Does he?"

"At every sound he hears. There's something paranoid about him."

Bella detangled herself from him and scooted up, resting her back against her pillow. "His instincts have always been right. There's a vampire sleeping with his daughter in the room next door."

"Resting," he corrected again.

She slowly ran a few fingers through his hair. How soft and gentle his curls felt in between her knuckles. "When was the last time you rested?"

His eyes closed once again. How did his voice sound full of sleep? "Remember when you had that fever?"

"Oh, you mean when you were making up excuses to touch me?"

His lips were inviting, with a slight upturn. "You needed to cool down."

"You could have thrown me into an ice shower."

"I think I'm a little more pleasant than an ice shower."

Bella leaned down and kissed him on his forehead. "You're more pleasant than just about anything else in my life." Her fingers continued their rhythm in his hair. "And in another life, this right here would have been perfect."

His eyes still weren't open. "In another life?"

"Yes." There was a hint of melancholy in her tone. "A universe where you're human, and so am I. And instead of resting, you can sleep. Instead of servitude, you—" She chuckled lightly, sniffling slightly. "You would work a soul-sucking corporate job."

Jasper's red eyes popped open, gaze steady on her. "It's interesting to me that your standards of perfection are… human."

"It's all I know," she reasoned. "To me, perfect has always been… a sound, fruitful life, with a partner, and possibly children. A steady, reliable paycheck, and the means to explore the world."

"You will redefine your idea of perfection," he said. "Freedom will be the only thing you will seek to attain. The world… you have eternity to explore the world, given that you have the freedom to do it." He considered for a moment. "And instead of a partner, you will have a mate. Instead of children…"

"A pet? You're a dog person, I can tell."

"Mortal attachments, Bella. They will always end in disappointment."

"That's a poor stance," she quipped, palms tickling with his hair. "My mortal lifespan is significantly greater than that of a dog's, but that wouldn't stop me from adopting."

"You're thinking like a human."

She rolled her eyes. "Maybe because I am one."

Jasper grabbed one of her hands, and held it near his face, and sighed. "The dog wouldn't survive around you."

Bella's spine straightened in sudden defiance. "I wouldn't kill our dog."

"Your newborn phase will be rough."

"You will help me. We can prepare."

"No." He squeezed her hand. "You can't dull your senses, which will be the prime reason for your frenzies. Once you learn to live with the world heightened around you, that's when it will become more manageable." He sat up, his shoulder brushing hers, and he held onto her hand. "Your touch will be unforgiving. You won't be touching anything fragile for a while."

"Fragile?"

"Most things will be fragile to you. You'd puncture through your phone's screen trying to send a simple text. You'd rip through the spines of books..." He cocked his head to the side. "... and the spines of humans, and animals. Like snapping a twig, Bella."

She shivered at that. "And you?"

"Me?"

Bella frowned. "Will I be able to touch you?"

"I'm prepared to lose a few fingers."

Eyes wide, she tensed. "What?"

But he only laughed. "You can't throw anything at me that I'm not used to. Trust me."

"My god," she groaned, throwing her legs over the side of the bed. "Promise me you'll tie me up before I can hurt you."

"You're still thinking like a human."

"Then how in the world are you supposed to disarm a newborn?"

Jasper watched her pleasantly. "You disarm them, Bella."

"Disarm…?" A quick chill of a shiver ran down her body. "You would need to tear me apart?"

"It is surprising how little you can do without the correct appendages." He got up quickly from the bed, eyes dancing all over her. "You haven't eaten in over twelve hours. I suggest we rectify that."

Bella unconsciously rubbed at her upper arms. "Jesus. Please don't tear me apart."

"Food, Bella. I can feel your stomach growling."

"You wouldn't rip out my arms, would you?"

Bella squealed the moment Jasper grabbed her hand and pulled her to stand. She didn't want to focus too hard on the way the tug reverberated within her arm socket.

"Isabella Swan, I promise that I will exhaust every other option before resorting to dismemberment. Luckily, we have a lot of options for subjugation."

She narrowed her eyes, glaring straight up at him. "You told me it was hard for mates to hurt each other."

"Yes." Jasper grinned, brushing tantalizing fingers right beneath her jaw. "Hence our other options for subjugation."

At the Cullen home merely an hour later, Bella lingered with Esme by the kitchen as Jasper spewed out precise, and detailed directions of the journey to follow.

"…and after two-hundred-and-fifty miles, you lay low. The Columbia River runs straight through the border, which you will use to your advantage. If you have to take a dip, you will."

He was addressing Esme, but his eyes found Bella's at the last sentence. That was when the words truly made sense.

And she jolted. "Wait, me as well? We're going swimming?"

"If it doesn't rain, you will have to." Jasper turned back to Esme. "Do not make the trek back here unless you've cleared your trail."

There was a backpack on the kitchen island with a change of clothes, towels, and bottles of water. Jasper gestured to it. "If you can trace Alice's scent to a specific location, you will wet the ground to prevent your scents from lingering for too long. The forecast says it should rain, but we shouldn't rely on the weather."

Jasper stalked towards Bella, his eyes stern. "Follow every direction Esme gives you, and keep your phone on and accessible the entire time."

Bella could only nod at the utter seriousness in his tone. She couldn't help but feel a spike of anxiety at having to leave. Jasper was protection. Why in the world would she ever agree to be separated from him?

But Esme couldn't go alone. Bella's shield meant protection, as well.

"Esme," Jasper said, turning to her. "Alice will be here with me this afternoon, so you can start heading out immediately. If her plans change, I will contact you, and you can turn around."

Esme nodded.

"And the moment you detect a vampire," he said, blazing eyes briefly darting to Bella, "you run."

Esme carried Bella on her back, and it wasn't the most comfortable ride. But to her credit, Esme stopped every twenty to thirty minutes to give Bella a chance for her limbs to stretch and her mind to stop spinning. Vampiric speed wasn't something she was ever going to get accustomed to—not as a human, anyway.

They crossed the Oregon border within two hours. For most of the journey, Bella stuck her head into Esme's shoulder, and focused on her nausea to keep it under control.

A few miles into Oregon, Esme stopped at an empty clearing, where the trees around climbed for miles, and the sounds of wildlife were low, and comforting.

"Have some water," Esme suggested, reaching into the backpack she had removed from Bella.

Bella accepted the bottle. "Thank you, Esme." She began to take tiny sips to calm her stomach. "Thank you for doing this."

"You don't have to keep thanking me, Bella."

But it was a sacrifice, wasn't it? She didn't quite understand it, but it was clear that it wasn't easy for Esme to keep secrets from her mate. Yet she chose to help anyway.

Bella lowered down onto a tree stump, stretching out her legs in front of her. "You're the only Cullen I can trust right now. I'm thankful for that."

Esme didn't respond, and no matter how wrinkled her brow, it seemed like she understood.

Bella tried to continue, "And I know how hard—"

"Bella." Esme stopped her. "We shouldn't talk about Carlisle."

Bella's mouth opened, and closed. She focused on the tightness on Esme's face.

"I just wanted to ask," she started, speaking slowly, "and you don't have to respond, but—" Esme's head turned away. "Do you love him?"

Automatically, and entirely too quickly, she replied, "Yes."

"Really?"

"You question my love for my mate," she stated tersely.

"I would never love Edward given the same circumstances."

Esme still wasn't looking at her. "You cannot make such a statement."

Bella got up, her emotions suddenly raw, and slicing. "Of course, I can. Have you met your son?"

"Stop," Esme said, her tone teetering between pleading, and anger. "You don't know the first thing about what a mating bond feels like."

Bella paused, trying to find the right words. "Given the opportunity, would you leave him?"

"You suggest treason against my mate?" Esme approached her, a sudden manic air to her movements. "I would not be so bold, Bella. My loyalty lies with my coven."

She should drop it. She really should. "He controls you."

"And I him."

It certainly didn't seem that way. "You're afraid of him."

"He's a man to be feared." She now stood before Bella, her face smooth, and eyes hard, and cautious. "No more of this. Please."

It's very hard for her to condemn Carlisle. This is the consequence of an imbalanced bond. "You're scaring me, Esme. You've been scaring me for a while."

"And Jasper?" She asked instead. "Are you scared of him?"

"No. Absolutely not."

"So what do you feel for him?" She asked, baiting. "Do you love him?"

How simple, and stupid, and predictable. Everyone fell in love with their hope, and their savior, didn't they?

Esme cut in before Bella could form any response. "Because it doesn't matter what you feel." Her voice was deeply haunting. "Because once you say those words to him, and once you get a taste of his venom, you will. No matter who he is, or what he's done, or what you felt for him before, it doesn't matter." She turned away from her. "Now come. We should hurry. I'd like to be back before dinner."

The silence between them persisted. For the next half hour, there wasn't a single word exchanged even as Esme clutched Bella's legs tightly against her sides, bracing her on her back.

A light sprinkling of rain began dusting over them, and soon, Esme's feet skidded to a stop between two trees.

"It's faint," she breathed. "But it's here. Alice's scent is here."

Bella, naturally, couldn't smell anything but the dampening soil, and the fresh scent of fir surrounding them. Esme began an earnest jog, diverting this way and that, presumably to pick up on a stronger trail of whatever she caught onto.

Bella clutched her arms tighter around Esme's neck when the air around her halted abruptly.

"There," Esme whispered urgently, head nodding towards a direction Bella could barely follow. "There's something there."

Bella couldn't say anything, because they were off once more. But after just a few seconds, through the tears in her eyes from the unwavering wind, Bella could make out a blurring of something brown from between the congregation of trees ahead.

And then the world finally stopped moving. Stomach churning, Bella carefully climbed down from Esme's back, a hand pressed to her abdomen. She winced, squinting out towards the opening Esme was observing intently. She managed to get out, "Alice has a home out here?"

Esme was still staring at the lonely cabin just a few dozen yards ahead of them. It was a one-story, fairly well maintained wooden structure, with tall trees crowding all around. Small windows adorned the front, giving a little glimpse into a dark interior. The front door was painted a deep red.

"Esme—"

Esme quickly held up a hand. "I don't think it's a vampire." She took one step closer, her head moving this way, and that. "Wait." Her eyes narrowed closely at the cabin. "There's a heartbeat."

Bella followed just a few paces behind her, but halted immediately when Esme stopped dead in her tracks, her back snapping straight.

Eyes wide with alarm, Esme turned back to Bella. "I know this scent. I know her."

"Who?"

"Olivia."

Bella blinked. Olivia. Olivia? Edward's ex-girlfriend who he had murdered? "She's alive?"

"She shouldn't be." Esme took a few more steps toward the cabin before seeming to decide against approaching further. "We shouldn't get more of our scents embedded here."

Bella's mind reeled, searching for a reason, trying to dig out every little detail Edward had shared with her about this girl.

And then… it clicked. "She's alive."

Esme was silent.

"This is directly breaking the Law of Exposure," Bella breathed. "It's been over a year." She turned to Esme. "Hasn't it?"

Esme didn't say a word, eyes focused on nothing in particular. Was she tracking the movements inside?

"Yes," Esme finally said, a sudden emotion in her tone. "Yes, it has." And then, she was moving. She opened the backpack at Bella's back and pulled out a few water bottles. Uncapping one, she began spraying the ground. "We should leave. Jasper will know what to do."

But what was there to do?

"Is she being held here?" Bella asked desperately. "Esme, we—"

"We will do nothing," Esme said sharply, pressing a bottle to Bella's hands.

"Edward said he killed her."

Esme remained quiet.

"Jasper said the Cullens covered it up. He said he helped you cover it up."

Esme shoved the empty water bottles into the backpack. Grabbing her phone out of her pocket, she tapped away at the screen.

"Is it Jasper?" Bella asked, teeth chewing away at her bottom lip.

Esme's fingers hovered over her phone. "He says to leave."

"But—"

She began retreating towards the forest. "Alice just left the house, Bella. We need to leave."

A/N: *peeks at you from behind a wall* Hi! Um. I've been dealing with a major Baldur's Gate 3 obsession with our resident vampire man, Astarion Ancunin. This resulted in me working on an entirely new fic, and so Twilight has been put on the back-burner for a while. I APOLOGIZE for disappearing, but please, have another chapter of this wonderful story that I'm still very much in love with.

Also, I've been writing exclusively in present tense + second-person POV for the last few months, so if you catch anything out of the ordinary, please let me know.

(Thank you for all of your lovely comments in my absence, and all of your song recs!)

~blu