CW: Death of a parent, depression, suicide ideation.

This one is a heavy one. It was very difficult for me to write. If you need to skip it and want a brief recap, my inbox is open, no questions asked. Please stay safe.

The very first time I remember seeing Summer Reeves on television, I was five years old. A rerun of the Forty-Eighth Hunger Games was on television as part of that night's mandatory viewing. District Nine produced two scrawny wheat factory workers, with burn scars and missing limbs from the devastating explosion that occurred later that year, who went on to die in the bloodbath. However, all the attention was on my mother. She was seventeen years old, still dressed in white, a District Nine mourning tradition, heavily pregnant, and with sadness still fresh in her eyes. She was newly widowed. My father, her husband, had died in that factory accident, working a job that he didn't really need, being married to a victor's daughter, but worked anyway because he wanted to do right by his family. She did a very good job hiding it, but she was in the early stages of labor. Childbirth, unfortunately, did not exempt someone from the Reaping. Sure enough, Sunny and I were born that evening.

The next time Summer Reeves was on television, it was for the Forty-Ninth Annual Hunger Games. When her name was called, she didn't look surprised, she didn't look afraid. She just straightened up and confidently took the stage. She didn't appear on television until training scores were revealed. By then, she had managed to impress the Careers, particularly Brutus. He saw Summer throwing knives at targets, just like her father taught her, and approached her with an offer to join. Brutus was a young, single father himself, and the two hit it off. Summer agreed and joined the pack.

In her interview, she discussed her alliance with the Careers, but she mainly talked about Sunny and I, and how hard she was willing to fight to get back to us. It was the most popular interview of the night. Between her interview, her score, and her place in the Career pack, everyone had so much hope that she would be the one to make it home.

Despite losing two of its members in the initial bloodbath that killed fourteen tributes, the Careers dominated the marshland arena. The Games only lasted ten days. During that time, Brutus and Summer grew closer, bonding over their respective children. They wound up making a final two pact, wanting to orphan as few children as possible.

When the final two came, Summer and Brutus patched each other up, said their goodbyes, and began battling for the crown. My mother fought hard, but it wasn't enough. Brutus was stronger and had more stamina, and eventually ran her through. Brutus held her as she died. He showed her the photo of my sister and me, promising her that we'd be alright, that he'd make sure of it.

Summer Reeves passed away peacefully, leaving Brutus as the victor, and leaving two young girls to grow up only seeing their mother on the television. She was the bravest, kindest, yet fiercest woman I never got to know. She was my hero. I wanted to be just like her.

And I let her down.

Blood. So much blood.

I don't know where I'm going. For once, I don't even have a plan.

The only thing that makes sense right now is walking, so that's what I do.

My sickle rests in my belt, lightly tapping against my leg as I walk. My necklace feels heavy around my neck, and my various wounds throb painfully. A light mist has settled over the arena and the temperature has plummeted, dampening my hair, and causing my fingers and the tip of my toes to go numb.

I focus on those sensations, trying to keep myself grounded. Otherwise, I might wind up breaking down again.

I really should stop wandering aimlessly through the arena. If I run into the Careers, I'm screwed. Still, there's a part of me that's itching for them to show, to slice as many of them to pieces as I can before I inevitably go out in a blaze of glory, and that part of me feels ashamed.

I've already taken two lives, and here I am wanting to take more.

I really am a terrible person, aren't I? I volunteered for selfish reasons. I formed an alliance knowing I had a curse hanging over my head, proceeded to lead them to destruction, and then just abandoned them.

It's better this way. You know that. Some people are meant to remain alone.

I guess it is.

Maybe it would be better if one of my other allies won instead of me. They deserve it more than I ever will. I fought so hard to be like my mother and sister, and I blew it. I fell short.

Maybe it's best if all of this ends with me.

I must have been going for hours by now. The sky is starting to grow lighter. My body starts to grow heavy and my head begins pounding as exhaustion begins to settle into my limbs. I force myself to continue on. At this point, it's all I can do. If the Careers want me, they'll find me, and that is fine with me. I can at least do one more thing for my allies that way, make it much more likely that one of them will win.

I'm not far from the river when the fog returns. I just shake my head and keep walking until I reach the edge of the water. My knees wobble a bit and I finally allow myself to sink to the ground. I don't know why, but I pull my glasses from my face and gently set them down next to me.

There's nothing in front of me now. Just a dark void ahead of me. The effects of the fog hit me almost immediately, or maybe it's exhaustion. Either way, it's taking everything I have left not to slump over.

I reach down towards the water and let the icy liquid flow along my fingertips.

Jenny... Decida...

Bran…

His smile, his antics, his spark.

His lifeless body…terrified.

I'm so tired…

That dark ocean, where I could just exist without a care in the world. I want to return to it so badly. It would be so easy. All I have to do is take one drink, and then I can rest. I could return to that void, maybe even forever.

I run my hand over the surface of the water, letting it glide over the current.

It would be so easy…

So, why don't you?

A sob tears through me and I wrap my arms around myself tightly.

Hot tears stream down my face as I mash my teeth together.

The pressure gets more and more unbearable, and it takes everything I have not to break down.

Someone approaches me from behind, their boots crunching on the ground behind me. I'm too exhausted to stand. I definitely can't fight.

All I can do is sigh. "Just get it over with," I choke.

"Is that really what you want?"

The voice shocks me back to my senses and ice settles into my veins. I slowly turn around towards the source. Something shifts in the air and the fog swirls around and parts around me.

The source of the voice emerges. I can feel the blood drain my face and for a moment, it's hard to breathe.

The person I'm looking at…

It's me.

I hope you are all okay after reading that. I know it was a little heavy. I'm sorry if this was too much, but I promise there is a point to all of this. I do hope I conveyed Amber's emotions properly. These things are hard to write about. If you are in a dark place and you find yourself wanting to hurt yourself, please seek help, whether it's through a loved one or a hotline. Remember readers, there are people out there who care about you, and there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. You are strong and you are more than capable.

To those of you who have made it this far, thank you. Your support means more than you know. We're getting to the very end of the story. Things can change between now and then, but based on my outline, I'd say we have about six chapters left. I will say that I've been looking forward to what's happening next chapter since I started writing this. I think it's going to be something special. I'm going to take some time to decorate for the holidays and recover mentally, but I'm hoping to be back with your regularly scheduled program soon.

As for that ending, I don't want to reveal too much about what's happening yet, but let's just say I took inspiration from the Persona series, particularly Persona 4, as well as some elements from RWBY. Take from that hint what you will.

On a slightly more lighthearted note, I do have an announcement regarding A Single Moment. I am pleased to announce that all twenty-four slots have interest! I decided to go full instead of partial, and it filled up pretty quickly. I haven't gotten all of the submissions yet, and some slots might be released if people drop out, but for now, it is officially full! I did put a form on my profile now, so feel free to fill it out and send it my way!