Chapter II: A Funny Girl, That Luan

The inn was crowded. Not just with Luan's army of siblings, but also with about a hundred other guests, who seemed to be having some kind of party in the tavern downstairs. Normally she wouldn't have minded the sound of so much shouting, clapping, and dancing-heck, normally she would've joined in herself!-but today she was trying to read.

She regretted asking Lucy about the castle yesterday. The stories Lucy had conjured up involved myths of a wailing phantom who could turn you to stone with a single look, and of savage animals capable of shredding a person to scraps. Needless to say, Luan hadn't gotten much sleep last night.

The next morning, she'd found a book in the inn's library that explained the kingdom's history, and even revealed the castle's name: it was quite creatively called the Stone Castle, which provoked a disbelieving eye-roll. She'd skimmed the index for more notes on the Stone Castle's origins in hopes of proving Lucy's creepy urban legends incorrect, but all she found was boring stuff. What kind of stone it was built from, how many workers had built it, a lot of needless details that she doubted anyone cared about. There was a paragraph or two detailing the traditional masquerade parties that used to be held there, which was sort of interesting, but nothing that proved or debunked the theory that the castle had a curse. Nothing, in fact, that described anything that had gone on there within the past fifty years.

And, of course, there was the persisting problem of sharing a single rented room with all ten of her siblings. Their parents were out shopping, leaving the eleven children in the inn to try to occupy themselves. Which meant that it took some serious concentration to read more than three sentences without blowing up in frustration like an irritated geyser.

"Stage dive!" Luna shouted, playing a strikingly loud chord on her lute and jumping off the dresser, landing flat on her face. A few of the lute's strings broke, producing an ugly-sounding noise. "Dang it," Luna muttered without moving, her voice muffled by the wooden floor.

"Well, what did you think was going to happen?" Lori said. She was in the middle of writing her tenth letter to her boyfriend, Bobby, that week. And it was only Wednesday. She chewed on her pen and stared down at her piece of parchment. "You'd think we'd have invented a better method of long-distance communication by now. You know, like a small handheld device you could use to send messages to anyone anywhere in the world." She shrugged.

Lisa's head jerked up in surprise, and her shoulder accidentally bumped the table she was conducting some weird experiments on. The motion caused one of her beakers to spill onto the table, dissolving the wood in a matter of seconds. The young inventor didn't seem to notice or care, however.

"Great firing neurons! Lori, you're a genius!" she shouted, immediately pulling out a scroll and furiously scribbling down some ideas.

"I know," Lori said with a deadpan expression, still puzzling over her parchment.

In the background, Lola and Lana were engaged in some sort of screaming argument. Lily shrieked along with them, not quite understanding what they were doing, but wanting to be included nonetheless. Lynn was just hurling her kickball against the wall in boredom, creating even more pointless noise.

"I am so NOT having a ball right now. Get it?" Luan grumbled as she watched Lynn throw her ball at the ceiling, breaking the overhead chandelier and causing it to crash onto the floor. She held up her book to shield herself from the spray of broken glass.

"What the heck, Lynn?" Lincoln said, rubbing his temples as though he had a perpetual headache. It was nice to see that someone else was feeling just as annoyed as she was right now.

Luan tossed her book across the room, realizing that it would be impossible to get any semblance of peace and quiet in here, and besides that, the book wasn't even providing that much help anyway. The offending piece of literature landed in the already-demolished chandelier, causing a few more shards of glass to break off.

Luan stood up. "Has anyone seen Lucy? I need to talk to her."

A shape suddenly materialized out of the dark and dusty chimney, twisting its disturbingly pale neck at an unnatural angle.

"Gah!" Luan screamed, before realizing that it was only Lucy.

"Sorry. Couldn't resist." Lucy's tone was as emotionless as ever. The contortionist bent her neck back around so it faced a normal direction again. "What did you want to tell me?"

"I've decided that I'm going to go check out the castle."

"Gasp." Lucy said the sound effect out loud. "Haven't you been listening? That's a bad idea, Luan. Leni's supposed to be the stupid one, not you."

"Did someone say my name?" Leni asked. She was busy sewing a glamorous pink dress, using a very unhappy Charles as her makeshift mannequin.

"Go back to sleep, Leni," Lucy said.

Leni's head drooped. A moment later she started to snore.

Luan already knew it wasn't a smart idea to go prancing around in unknown, possibly-haunted castles. The thought of it made her palms sweaty. But she really did want to find out what had gone on last night, and since the books wouldn't help her out, the only thing left to do was investigate the real thing.

"Don't worry. I've got a yellow belt in karate," Luan reassured her sister. "If a ghost tries to mess with me, I'll just kick him in the boo-ty." She laughed at her terrible pun.

"They're transparent. It's physically impossible to do that," Lucy said, but Luan spotted a ghost of a smile on her face. (Ha! Another pun! She was on a roll today.)

Lucy's smile faded much too soon. "Sigh. I guess I can't force you to do anything. And I know life is meaningless anyway, but promise you'll be careful?"

"I'm always careful!" Luan said, a moment before tripping over her own untied shoelace.

Lucy didn't look convinced. But she didn't try to stop Luan from going.

So, thirty minutes later Luan stepped out the front door, carrying a tin of lemon meringue pie. Because what kind of person would kill someone who brought them pie?

But, just in case she did end up getting herself killed in a very stupid way, she'd already promised Lucy that if she tried to contact her sister's ghost with her Ouija board, Luan wouldn't use it to send her puns from the afterlife.

She headed into the village, taking in the busy commotion all around her. Doors opened and shut, horse-drawn carriages clip-clopped by, and people talked and waved.

"Hello!" someone shouted.

"Good day!" came the reply.

"How is your family?"

"I need six eggs!"

"No, that's too expensive."

The bustling crowd's chaotic morning routine only made it all the easier for Luan, who never felt as though she was part of the crowd despite having been here a week already, to sneakily switch the baker's hat with a wealthy looking lady's. And slip a few glitter bombs in some mailboxes. And replace a hunter's freshly foaming beer with a glass of apple juice.

Unfortunately, when she tried to swap the unsuspecting chimney sweep's broom for a tiny feather duster she'd "borrowed" while a maid wasn't looking, the town librarian caught her in the act. She'd seen him around town, but had never actually interacted with him.

He peered down at her through his pair of little spectacles. "Don't you think a nice young girl like you should be doing something a little more…civilized?" he asked, stiffly straightening his dark brown jacket and scratching at his tiny white tuft of a beard.

Luan raised an eyebrow. "Like what?"

"Well, reading for instance," he replied, pulling a thick book out of his jacket's pocket. "I think you'd like this one. It's about a peasant girl who meets Prince Charming. Of course, she doesn't actually discover it's him 'til chapter three."

"Waiting three chapters to get to the punchline. Yawn." Luan pantomimed a fake yawn. "See, most of my jokes can do that in two sentences."

"When's the last time you even read a book?"

"Today, actually." Technically, that wasn't a lie.

The librarian held out his hand, probably intending to make her take the book. But his hand was empty.

"Wha-?" the librarian said while staring at his empty hand, completely baffled.

Luan held up his book, which she'd swiped while he was lecturing her about it. "Looking for this?" She tossed it to him and he caught it awkwardly, holding it to his chest. "I'd read it, but I already have plans today, and I don't want to be double-booked. Now, if you'll excuse me, I really need to get back to my Luantics. Get it?"

The librarian just stared at her blankly.

"Oh, right. See, it's funny because my name's Luan. It's a pun! Anyways, adios and good day to you, sir!" She winked at him and continued on her way.

As she walked out of town, approaching the hill on which sat the Stone Castle, she overheard the librarian say, "No denying she's a funny girl, that Luan. Most peculiar."

She smiled. That was certainly true.

However, the smile flew off her face as soon as she approached the castle. The stone walls were cracked, even crumbling in places, and the pathway was covered in a wild tangle of black thorny bushes. The loose shutters creaked and groaned when even the slightest breeze moved them. It definitely looked like a place where a soul-devouring phantom might do its evil bidding.

Am I sure I really want to do this? Luan questioned herself. She knew deep down that she didn't, but if she wanted answers, this was all she could do.

Besides, I'm not scared, she thought, trying unsuccessfully to convince herself that it was true.

She did her best to step around, over, and even under the thorns, pricking herself in the process and even getting her cloak snagged a few times. She was certain she looked like a complete fool to any passersby, but luckily, she wasn't afraid of looking a little silly if it got the job done.

Eventually, she reached the doors, and she noticed a few vibrant yellow lilies, her absolute favorite flowers, growing in the bushes around the front steps. They looked healthy and well-maintained.

By a ghost, perhaps? whispered Luan's mind.

She tried to shake that unwanted thought out of her head. Here goes nothing, she thought, reaching up to knock on the imposing wooden doors.

…

Most days were pretty boring for Benny. The majority of his mornings were spent gardening or reading a book, or some other uneventful, unfunny solitary activity. Nothing much happened, and nothing really surprised him anymore.

Until he heard a knock on the door.

He was debating whether or not to answer it when a girl's voice said, "Knock, knock!"

He surprised himself a little when he instinctively answered, "Who's there?"

"Luan," came the cheerful reply.

"Luan, who?"

"Hurry up and Luanswer the door if you want to find out!"

The pun made him smile, but he was more than a little hesitant to open the door. What if this stranger screamed and ran away like everyone else had? Or worse, what if she was only faking the friendliness and was actually here to kill him?

But he'd been so lonely for so long, and there was a small chance she'd actually stick around. Besides, if she did try to kill him, he was confident he could hold his own with his sharp teeth and claws. And if she just fled, he wouldn't be any worse off than he was before.

There wasn't much of a reason to remain hidden, other than to hide his own insecurities. So he opened the door. A bright smile greeted him. The girl's light brown hair was kept in a tight ponytail, but he observed that a few stray hairs had escaped it, standing straight up above her forehead in a manner that he found pretty cute.

"Oh, and I baked a pie!" The girl said, and he noticed immediately that she was wearing a familiar yellow cloak. This was the performer he'd seen yesterday juggling pins onstage!

She continued: "I was going to throw it in your face, but-" having heard the door open, she looked up, and her eyes darted across his scary-looking, monstrous figure.

Luan swallowed an audible lump in her throat. Her voice quieted, and she started to nervously stammer. "I-I didn't think it w-would be the n-neighborly thing to do, a-a-and…" Her eyes were wide and fearful, and her shoulders quived. "Please d-don't kill me!"

"No, wait!" he held out his hands with the furry palms facing up, trying to show that he didn't intend to be a threat. "I'm not going to kill you!" He thought for a minute, and smiled. "And it's been forever since I've had a good pie to the face. Please do the honors."

This clearly hadn't been the answer she was expecting. Her eyebrows raised quizzically. "Really?" she asked.

He nodded and gave her an earnest thumbs-up.

Her bright, broad smile returned-her teeth were so straight that he wondered if she'd worn braces for a while-and she lifted her pie up over her head. "Well, in that case-"

He didn't have time to reply before-splat!-the pie's creamy center struck him square in the face. Her aim was impeccable.

He stood there, stunned speechless for a moment, cream dripping from his tangled fur. There was a tiny twinge of pain in the back of his mind as he recalled a certain memory of the last time he'd been involved with a pie like this.

But the empress's stone-cold face wasn't there to make him feel unwanted or ashamed. Instead, what he had in front of him was the face of a bright-eyed girl with a ponytail, who was very clearly trying to keep from laughing, as if she wasn't sure if she should. Her cheeks were puffed out and she was covering her mouth with her hands, as though she was trying to hide a smile. Her shoulders shook with mirth.

He had no idea what kind of expression he was wearing, but if it was as hilarious as hers, then he definitely understood her struggle to keep from laughing. He wiped at his face with the back of his paw, the parts that had brushed his face coming away more white than dark brown, and scratched at the back of his neck.

He tilted his head at her still-visibly-struggling face. "It's alright to laugh," he said simply.

She lifted her hands away from her face, revealing a smile that was as bright and broad as Benny had guessed it would be. "Good, because I- Your face- It's just-" She dissolved into a fit of laughter.

He stood there for a good few minutes, just watching her laugh. He wasn't quite sure exactly what to feel. He felt a little confused, and a little proud of the reaction he'd gotten out of her, but mostly he felt relieved. He hadn't realized how much the sound of genuine laughter meant to him, and it was everything to hear it again.

Her giggling died down-something he felt surprisingly sad about-until she dared to look him in the eye and it started right back up again. "See, now I can't stop!" she managed to say in between peals of laughter.

Something about the way she laughed and the way it sounded was incredibly contagious. He dared to try a smile, hoping it didn't come out looking awkward.

She held up her index finger in a 'one minute' gesture, and gradually her laughter quieted. She clearly had to take her time to prevent it from coming back. Eventually she managed to look him directly in the eyes, standing on her tiptoes to get a better view, and he noticed their interesting amber hue. He also noticed how her gaze kind of made him want to immediately shut the door, and also kind of made him want her to keep watching him forever.

"But seriously-" she said, and her face was all seriousness, all business, hiding any trace of the giggling fit she'd had only seconds before. How was she able to do that with her face so easily? She untied the ribbon of her sunny yellow cloak and handed the fabric to Benny. He stared at it, perplexed, until she said bluntly, "Wipe your face."

As he did, she said "Oh, is it okay if I come inside for a minute? I need to rinse out my pie tin." He nodded and handed her cloak back to her, which was now drenched in cream.

She made a face. "And wash my cloak."

He looked down at his feet. "Sorry about that."

"Don't be! That was a hundred percent my fault." She rocked on her heels, looking up as though she was thinking about something. "Okay, maybe eighty percent my fault."

He held open the door, stepping back to let her come inside. As he did, she paused to study his face.

"What?" he asked.

"Oh, nothing. But you missed a spot right there."

"Right wh-" he started to say, before she reached up and touched a finger to his nose.

He felt his face get a little hot at the sudden contact, and then felt really confused about it. Being touched was just a normal thing to everyone else, right? Maybe he wasn't used to it.

She laughed at his bewildered face. "Gotcha!" she said with a wink, playfully holding up her clean finger to show that there hadn't been anything on his face at all.

She brushed past him to step inside, leaving Benny gaping and generally even more confused than before.

She walked into the castle's front lobby, barely batting an eyelash at the crumbling stone pillars and broken floor tiles. She did, however, take more than a moment to squint curiously at the stone remains of his parents and servants. He followed her gaze across the room, but had to drop it when it landed on his father's frozen, silently-screaming form. Looking directly at the statues still made his heart squeeze in pain. He was relieved when she lifted her head to look up at the ceiling…or rather, the lack of a ceiling. She smiled as a sunbeam fell upon her face and then she closed her eyes, pausing to feel the ray's warmth.

"Really opens up the place," she said thoughtfully. "Bet it's a pain when it rains, though."

He didn't answer. He was too busy thinking about how weird it was to have someone else inside his house, especially someone so odd and interesting.

"Oh, I've been meaning to ask you something," she said.

Here it comes, Benny thought, mentally bracing himself to explain the fur and claws… and the awful memories.

"What's your name?"

…

Benny. Luan thought that was much too cute and sweet a name for someone who looked… well, like that.

He stood at least a head taller than her, probably a little more than that, but he was constantly ducking his head and slumping his shoulders as though he was used to being much smaller. His ears were pointed like a wolf's or dog's and would lift and lower interestingly as his emotions and expressions changed. His claws were probably long and sharp enough to skin her alive, and when he smiled, he exposed a mouth full of pointed teeth. The pair of curved horns on top of his head could definitely skewer a hole through her chest and turn her into a human shish kabob.

He could kill her without a doubt if he wanted to, and she was, in fact, fearfully aware of that.

She wasn't scared of him, though, because he had made her laugh. Very easily, like it was second nature to him to try to make someone smile the way it was to her.

Besides, there was no way a monster could have such an adorable puff of dark, curly hair. Impossible.

She listened as he continued speaking: "Well, actually it's Benjamin. Prince Benjamin Stein of Suncobran."

"Oh, fancy," she said, though she wasn't quite sure how he could be a prince and look like that. Either there were some serious genetic defects in his bloodline, or there was something else going on that he was not telling her. Something that might explain the myths Lucy had told her. Though she wasn't quite sure how to bring it up. It might upset him if she brought attention to something he clearly seemed uncomfortable about, and it might upset her if she figured out the cause of the spooky legends was something terrible that he'd done.

Wait, why would that upset her? He looked scary. Shouldn't she naturally expect that he did scary things, too?

No. The answer was surprisingly straightforward. She just didn't see that in him.

She realized then that he was probably expecting her name. "Luan Loud." She shrugged. "That's it. Nothing cool or fancy here."

"Maybe not on the outside," he said. She fiddled with the end of her ponytail, suddenly shy. Why was she being shy? That wasn't a typical Luan emotion.

He headed up the stairs, looking for something, and she followed him, brushing her hand along the interesting cracks in the walls.

He opened the door to a room that she assumed was a bathroom, though it was just as gray and drab as the rest of the castle. At least it had a ceiling.

He picked a copper washtub off the dusty floor (oh hey, a color other than gray!) and filled it with water from the sink. Considering how ancient the castle looked, she was surprised to find out it had running water. He pulled a washcloth out of a small closet, rubbed some soap onto it, then handed Luan the tub and cloth.

"Thank you," she said, kneeling to set the tub down on the floor. She tossed in her pie tin and cloak, the quick motion causing a spray of water to splash her in the face.

He sat down across from her. "Well, water friends for?"

She stared at him in shock, her hair dripping wet and plastered to her face. "Did you just make a pun?"

"Well… yes."

She grinned. "I love puns."

"I figured."

They sat in silence for a few minutes as she scrubbed furiously at the stains on her cloak. After a while, she let her eyes wander around the room, but there wasn't really anything interesting to look at.

"Admiring the decor?" Benny asked.

"Would you be mad at me if I said it wasn't really my style?"

"No." He sighed. "It's not my style, either. Same old gray pillars. Same old gray hallways. Same old gray flying buttresses. It gets really boring after a while."

"First of all, I'd like to point out that 'flying buttress' is a hilarious word. Second, if that's true, why haven't you changed it?"

He scratched at the back of his neck. Was that a nervous habit of his? "I… don't get out much. It's not exactly easy for someone who looks like this to go out to the store and buy a few cans of paint."

She felt a stab of pity. How long had he spent stuck here, staring at a series of boring gray walls? "I'll tell you what. I'll see if I can head to the store tomorrow and hook you up with some good stuff. Favorite color?"

"Blue." He tugged at the collar of his blue jacket.

She held up her now-clean yellow cloak. "Think you can guess mine?"

He smiled. She smiled because she got him to smile.

She wrung out her cloak, trying to get all of the moisture out. After failing miserably at this, she made a frustrated noise. "Do you mind if I leave this here to dry? I can pick it up tomorrow."

"Fine with me. Are you leaving so soon?"

"I have to, sorry. I need to practice for my show tomorrow. Plus, all ten of my siblings are probably worrying about me, and wondering where I've gone."

He did a double take. "Sorry, you have how many siblings?"

"Ten."

"Sounds like a full house."

"Yep, I'm practically never alone." She handed her pie tin to Benny to hold while she dumped the washtub's water into the sink. "Thanks for everything, by the way. I think I remember where the door is, but if I don't, I'll just stupidly bump into things until I find it." She turned to leave, but then stopped to pause in the middle of the doorway. "Wait, one more thing-"

His shoulders slumped. "It's okay. I know what you're going to ask."

"You do?"

"It's a curse. I'm cursed."

Lucy was right. Instantly her mind whirled with a thousand questions, but she couldn't find the tongue to ask any of them, not when he looked so sad about it. At a complete loss for words, she turned and fled the room, feeling guilty about not giving a proper goodbye, and cold and exposed without the protection of her cloak or her smile.

…

Just as she'd said she would, he heard Luan bump into a few things on her way out, occasionally accompanied by an embarrassed laugh. All too soon though, she was gone, and he was left with only a yellow cloak in a sea of gray stone and silence to prove she was real.

He didn't want to look at the gray anymore.

He hung Luan's cloak up on the clothesline beside the door and spent a long while staring at it before heading back inside.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. He kept hoping she'd come back, but she never did.

He slept in late. When he woke up the next day, Luan's cloak was gone, but there was a fresh pie on the windowsill, along with a few cans of paint. Sky blue, flamingo pink, and sunny yellow. Underneath the pie was a small scrap of paper, which read:

I don't have time to throw it in your face today. I'm pretty booked with shows and practice (If I'd been here in person, I definitely would have held up a book while I said that, haha). But I hope you appreciate the sentiment anyways. I'll try to stop by for a visit as soon as I can. Excited to see the new decor!

Thanks for taking care of my cloak. It smells FABULOUS! Where did you get the soap? A few of my sisters could totally benefit from a scent like that.

Wishing you nothing but smiles and terrible puns!

Yours,

Luan :)

(P.S.: I love the yellow lilies by your door. They're my favorite flower!)

A/N: Bam! Another chapter written. Just a word of advice, do NOT expect future chapters to come out as fast as this one did. Right now life is very uneventful for me, so I have a lot of free time to write. This will not always be the case.

Still figuring out how this site works. I still feel like I don't know what the heck I'm doing, but I'm having a good time with this story, so everything's alright. Hope you're all having a wonderful day!