Chapter 3: The Big Sleep
"Last time on Total Drama Island," The camera turns on to show Kris standing on the dock, going over what happened in the last two episodes. "22 campers arrived and learned that they'll be spending the next eight weeks at a crusty old summer camp. The campers were faced with their first challenge, jumping off a cliff into shark-infested waters and while most campers took the plunge, a few were forced to wear the dreaded chicken hat. At the campfire ceremony, it all came down to two campers. Curtis has experience as a CIT at summer camp, but refused to jump; and Edythe managed to tick off every male contestant at the camp with her misogynistic comments about men. In the end, the first camper voted off Total Drama Island... was Edythe. Proving that homeschooling and reality TV don't really mix. Who will be voted off this week in the most dramatic campfire ceremony yet? Find out tonight on... TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND!"
*Theme song*
Kris walked up to the cabins holding a megaphone, and then blew a horn into it.
LeShawn, who's wearing nothing but his indigo pajama pants, sat up really fast and hit his head on the bed above his, "Oww! Damn it, it's seven in the morning!" he walked over to the window. "Do I look like a farmer to you?!"
All the campers were dressed and standing outside. Ivan's MP3 player was blasting some music, Cady saw this and tried to touch it, Ivan looked at her, growled, then tried to bit off her finger.
Kris walked up to all the campers, "Morning, hope you slept well. Because you'll have to be ready for your next challenge, which begins in exactly... one minute!"
Olivia spoke up, "Oh excuse me, I don't know if that's enough time to eat breakfast."
"Ohh, you'll get breakfast, Olivia." Kris told the big girl with a grin on her face. "Right after you complete your 20 kilometer run around the lake!"
Ivan glared at her, "Oh, so you're funny now? You know what I think is funny?!" he said walking up to her threateningly. Denica and Georgia try to hold him back.
"Ivan!" Curtis whispered harshly to him, "Try to control your temper."
"You're enjoying this, aren't you?!" Ivan glared at Kris.
"A little." she pointed at her watch, "You have thirty seconds."
CONFESSIONAL - CURTIS
"Okay, that Ivan guy really has to get a handle on his temper." Curtis said, as he began listing the things Ivan had done days before. "He's only been here one day and he's already thrown his suitcase out the window and broken the lock on one of the bathroom doors."
The contestants were all lined up at the starting point, most of them ready for the long run. "Okay runners! On your marks, get set... GO!" Olivia, Justice, and Trisha all started jogging, Taylor started a few seconds later with slumped shoulders.
After a while, Georgia, Lenny, Curtis, Trisha, Ivan and Bert were all still running, while Sam, Kam, Harriet, and Glen were walking instead to save their energy. Some of the runners struggling the most were LeShawn and Olivia, both of whom are beginning to get out of breath. "Do you know how much longer?" Harriet asked Glen, as Justice and Bradley ran past.
"Don't walk beside me." Glen tells Harriet.
Heath was walking by himself when Nora ran past him and knocked his shoulder, "Watch it!" she just ignored him.
CONFESSIONAL - HEATH
"I don't run," Heath stated, crossing his arms, "and I definitely don't run at 7 o'clock in the morning."
Although Heath's reason was more so because he's wearing sandals, which aren't the type of shoes exactly built for running long miles. But that doesn't seem to stop some of the others also wearing sandals.
Heath heard a lapping sound and felt his feet wet. He looked down to see he has stepped in dirty water which Olivia is licking off of the ground, "Can't...catch...breath...must...have...condition..." Olivia then collapsed in the water.
"Yeah, it's called overeating, fat girl! Look it up!" Heath said, standing beside Olivia with his hands on his hips.
LeShawn walked past them, not at all bothered that his sandaled feet submerged in the water, and leaned on a tree to catch his breath, "And what's your excuse, you skinny, annoying...whew! Too tired for insults."
Kris drives past on a scooter, yelling through her megaphone, "Pick it people, if you're not back for dinner time you don't eat!"
Heath glared at her, "I hate her so much, and I hate having to stare at her old lady feet all the time." then he walked on Olivia to get over the river.
Most of the competitors were slumped around the main lodge, waiting for the other competitors to come back from the run, while Kris was filing her nails, suddenly Olivia barged through the door holding a passed out Nora over her shoulder, "CLEAR A TABLE, STAT!"
LeShawn came in a second later and collapsed to his knees, "Oh, we made it! S-[BEEP]." then he crawled to the rest of the campers.
Olivia was trying to do CPR on Nora, with Trisha and Heath looking at Nora's passed out form.
Harriet walked through the door and Curtis looked at her disappointedly, "What took you so long? We just lost the challenge!", he nagged, while Harriet was clutching her chest and looked like she was about to pass out.
"I think I'm having heart palpitations."
Glen looked at Nora, then at the rest of the team, "Hey wait a minute. If they lost the challenge, that means, we won the challenge!" Olivia, Trisha, and Heath all looked at him for a second, then they all started cheering with Nora who was suddenly awake again.
"Whoa there, hold your horses guys. That wasn't the challenge!" Kris said smiling.
Glen raised an eyebrow, "Say what now?"
"Who's hungry?" Kris announced as a curtain opened to show a large buffet of delicious food.
CONFESSIONAL - GLEN
"After a whole week of brown sludge, I almost cried when I saw that buffet." Glen admitted.
CONFESSIONAL - OLIVIA
"And then I saw it, the buffet table. It was beautiful." Olivia said with a voice that showed she was probably the happiest person in the world. "There was a turkey and Nanaimo bars and baked beans and maple syrup. Ha...can I have minute?" She then started to cry.
"Uuuuugh..." The table was completely cleared and a bunch of groaning noises could be heard from our fattened up campers.
Kris jumped on top of the table with her megaphone, "Okay campers, and time for part two of your challenge!"
Olivia had a bunch of muck on her face, "I thought eating was the second part."
"What more do you want from us?" Glen said.
"Weird goth guy is right." Heath agreed, while groaning himself and ignoring Glen's annoyed stare. "Haven't we been through enough?"
"Umm... let me think about that... NO! It's time for... the Awak-a-thon!" Kris said dramatically.
"The what-a-thon?" Olivia said.
"Don't worry!" Kris hops off the table to explain the details. "This is an easy one, the team with last camper standing wins invincibility!"
"So, what you're saying, is the 20k run and the turkey-eating frenzy, were part of your evil plan to make it harder for us to stay awake?" Glen glared at her.
"That's right, Glen!" Kris happily admitted.
"Man, she's good." Glen realize the hostess is very good at planning.
LeShawn was just nodding and looking really out of it.
"Alright campers, to the campfire pit!" Kris shouted. "MOVE, MOVE MOVE!" All the campers lazily walked out of the main lodge.
Trisha walked up to Glen, "So, how long do you think it will be before everyone's out cold?"
"About an hour, give or take." Olivia walked passed them, drooling and looking like she's going to pass out on the spot, "maybe less."
The camera went to all the campers sitting around the campfire; they've been awake for 11 hours, 59 minutes and 55 seconds. They all looked exhausted. Kris' voice came onto the screen softly, "We are now 12 hours in with all 21 campers still wide awake."
Olivia was walking backwards, "WOOO HOOO! Stay awake for 12 hours? I can do that in my sleep! WOOO HOOO..." she threw her arms in the air and stayed like that for a couple of seconds, then she passed out.
CONFESSIONAL - GLEN
"The Awak-a-thon was definitely the most brutal thing I've ever done in my life." Glen said with a sigh.
Glen yawned, "This is the most boring thing I've ever done in my life."
Trisha yawned too, "Could be way worse."
"Oh yeah, how?"
"I could be stuck here without you to talk to." Trisha said with a smiled.
Glen smiled back and rubbed the back of his head bashfully. Heath was watching all this with a raised eyebrow.
CONFESSIONAL - HEATH
"So my strategy is to get two other campers to form an alliance with me and take to the final three." Heath explained as he put his finger on his chin. "The only question is who can I find that is either desperate enough or stupid enough to do whatever I say?"
Lenny was standing on his head. "What are you doing?" Glen said irritated.
"Trying... to get the blood... to rush to my head." Lenny answered with a smile on his face. "I think it's working!"
Bert walked up to Lenny, "Hey man, can I try?"
"Sure, dude!" Lenny encouraged.
Heath looked at them both with an evil grin. "Perfect." Lenny was as dumb as a rock and Bert is a desperate dork who wants to be part of the in-crowd, "Lenny, Bert, could you come here for a sec?"
"Sure!" Both boys said in unison... both standing on their heads.
Heath leads them to the edge of the campfire site to avoid suspicious eyes and ears.
"Okay, I have a plan to get me and two other people to the final three and I choose you guys." Heath shrugged.
"Really?" Lenny smiled up at him.
"You should know this is a very big deal, I am placing my trust in you and trust is a two-way street." They both nodded enthusiastically, "So you'll do everything I say then?"
"Sure" Lenny then turned to Bert, "Can you believe it? We're going to the final three!"
CONFESSIONAL - BERT
"Oh my gosh, Heath is taking me to the final three! I knew he was such a nice guy! Wow, I'm going to the final three... I wonder what will happen then?"
"Speaking of alliances, you guys wanna know who I think is really hot?" Lenny looked at Taylor.
Heath blocks his view of her, "Oh hell no! You can't date her."
"Why not?"
"Because she's on the other team."
"Uhhh...huuuh." Lenny is still not getting it.
"You can't inter-team date; it's, like, against the alliance rule. Besides, girls just backstab you."
"Don't I know it?" Bert said, remembering all the times girls tease him at his school. Calling him names like "nerd", "geek", "loser", "ugly", etc. One time, he asked out the girl of his dreams who agreed to go to prom with him, only to ditch him for her jock boyfriend who gave him a wedgie in front of everyone. Bert's never been so humiliated in his life.
"They do?" Lenny asked Heath. "There are rules?"
Heath stomped up to them and leaned over them, "Remember what I just said about trust, Lenny?" He then shrugs, "Of course, you can always leave the alliance. If you do though, I can't protect you from getting kicked off."
"No man, I-I wanna be in the alliance." Lenny stuttered.
"Good, then it's settled." Heath walked off, and Lenny and Bert looked at each other worriedly.
Taylor saw Lenny and waved. Lenny smiled at her.
CONFESSIONAL - LENNY
"Heath said I couldn't date her." Lenny then smiles. "But... he never said I couldn't like her."
Ivan stood up and put his MP3 player in his pocket, "I'm going to the John." Heath looked at him from the corner of his eye and saw Ivan's MP3 player fall out of his pocket. A smirk came upon the mean boy's face, he got up, looked around, and walked to where the MP3 player fell. Then he did some stretches and sneakily picked up the music player. Lastly, he sat back down near Lenny.
"Uhhh... isn't that Ivan's MP3 player?"
"Yep."
"Isn't he, like, gonna get really pissed when he finds out it's gone?"
"That's exactly what I'm counting on."
It has now been 24 hours and Bradley, Isaac, and Nora are asleep. While Justice appears to be wide awake, standing firm and still, with her hands on her hips.
Taylor looks like she's about to drift off she closes her eye for a second, then opens them again to see Kam and Sam being punched by a bear. She screams and everybody gasped and looked at her, including the perfectly fine Kam and Sam.
"Congratulations campers, you've made it to the 24 hour mark. Time to take things up a notch!" Kris pulls a white sheet off of a pile of books as Lunchlady walks in wearing a pink fuzzy sheep costume with a harp, "Fairy tales."
"Oh God, she's not serious." Glen raised an eyebrow.
Kris cleared her voice and Lunchlady started playing her harp as the campers snickered at her, "Once...upon a time...there was...inside this boring kingdom...a boring village... and inside this boring...sleepy...village...filled with very... boring children...who did very boring thing" Bert and Georgia were about to pass out and Cody's head was resting on some kind of pillow. She started hallucinating about sheep jumping over a harp, then the third sheep was Lunchlady dressed as a sheep and it got interrupted by her pillow, which was actually Olivia's butt, farting in her mouth. Causing her to wake up, coughing out the fraudulence that she swallowed. But she's still out.
"The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy" came on and the remaining campers looked up to see Lunchlady in a very unflattering pink tutu prancing around with a magic wand and glitter falling off of her. The glitter was actually sleeping dust and all the campers yawned.
DJ tied herself to a tree then fell asleep when Lunchlady put sleeping dust all over her and the tree fell down from her weight.
Glen yawned, "Timber."
The campers have been awake for 40 hours. Curtis was running on the spot and Justice is still standing where she is.
CONFESSIONAL - CURTIS
"I figured if I kept moving, I could outlast all of them." Curtis said explaining his strategy. "I just had to keep my eye on the ball."
The Killer Bass only had four people still awake and the Screaming Gophers had six.
"We should talk about our strategy." Heath nudges Lenny.
"Huuuh..." Lenny snorted a bit then fell asleep.
"Bert?" He asked, but Bert was asleep too.
"Okay, favorite song?" Glen asked Trisha.
"'She Would Be Loved'. Favorite color?"
"Uhhm, Midnight Blue."
"Ooh, dark and mysterious. I like that." Glen blushed and yawned "No, don't fall asleep now. Okay, quick, favorite movie moment?"
"You're gonna tease me for liking something so cheesy and girly."
"I won't, I promise."
"Okay, the kiss of the end of that road trip movie, you know the one with the guy and the three girls."
"I know the one." Trisha giggled, "You like that movie?" Suddenly a completely nude Olivia sleepwalked past them. Both Glen and Trisha looked scarred, and looked to where Olivia's clothes are lying. They then saw Olivia, still sleepwalking, head to the woods.
CONFESSIONAL - OLIVIA
"Did I mention that I ate the entire dish of baked beans and maple syrup?" Olivia asked sheepishly. "Funny thing, baked beans... they make me sleepwalk."
Kam and Sam were asleep and storing in sync. "Cute, they even fall asleep together." Trisha told Glen.
Trisha and Glen were lying on the ground looking at the stars together, "Still awake?" Trisha asked.
"Yeah, it's weird but I think I'm so tired I'm not even tired anymore. Does that make sense?"
"I really have no idea. Where's the Little Dipper again?"
"See the Big Dipper, follow the handle of that bright star, the pole star, and it is right there." Glen made a bunch of hand movements to show where the stars are.
Trisha sighed happily, "Cool."
Olivia was still sleepwalking naked, she was at the edge of the cliff she put one foot over the side then turned around abruptly and fell off backwards instead, into the water.
The campers have been awake for 51 hours. Glen spoke up, "Look at her. She's like a statue." He was referring to Justice, "She hasn't moved in over... 50 hours!" Him and Trisha walked up to her, "Hello? Yo!" Trisha made weird yipping noises and waved her arms around wildly, "Amazing. Look at the concentration."
Glen poked her face and Justice shook her head and opened her painted-over eyes. Glen and Trisha gasped. Evan pointed at her, "Her eyelids are painted, I saw it!"
"Shut up! Oh, I got to see this." Kris said excitedly, Justice smiled sheepishly at her, "That is so frickin' cool! But you still out, girl." Justice pouted as the Gophers went down another member.
Olivia was jumping with the fish... up a waterfall. The camera fast foward to 85 hours.
Denica went up to Harriet and put her hand in a cup of water, "Ohh gross, it does work! She peed her pants!" Denica pointed and laughed at her.
Harriet woke up and gasped at the wet stain, then covered it up and looked around. Kam and Sam woke up because it was now morning. Nora and Cady were sleeping together annd Nora had her arms wrapped around Cady and was kissing her ear, which made Cady smile in her sleep. They woke up and screamed then ran away from each other.
On the Screaming Gophers, there was only Heath, Trisha, and Glen left awake, "I'd kill for a coffee right now."
Kris walked up with a coffee, "What is wrong with you people? C'mon, fall asleep already!"
Glen crawled up to Kris and grabbed on her leg, "You gotta hook me up, lady! I'll even eat the grinds! Anything!" Glen reached for her coffee.
"Alright, you five stay with me, the rest of you go and have a shower for heaven's sake. You stink!" the five that were still awake were Evan, Denica, Trisha, Heath, and Glen.
Harriet was standing covering her crotch and DJ, Bradley and Georgia were looking at her worriedly, then Harriet hopped off.
Kris took a sip of her coffe, "I didn't want it to come to this. I said that to Lunchlady Hatchet last night, I said, 'Lunchlady... I don't want it to come this.' But darn it, these campers are tough! And so, I've come up with the most boring, sleep-inducing activity I can find."
CONFESSIONAL - GLEN
"Oh, come on! Now what?" Glen yelled before crossing his arms and crossed his leg. "Okay, you know what? Bring it on!"
Kris brought out a very heavy book, "The History of Canada. A pop-up book. Chapter One: The Beaver. National symbol and a 'dam' fine hat." Kris even used quotation hang signals on the word "dam". The remaining five campers groaned.
Actual beavers were making their dam and the center piece is Olivia. They're using to tails to slap on the wood, though one of them is slapping Olivia's butt.
"...which, of course, was the procures for the discussion leading towards the war of 1812." Ivan and Heath were out cold and Trisha didn't look that far off.
"Trish, NOOOOO!" Glen yelled in slow-motion as Trisha fell to the ground. Glen ran up to her and has her in his arms. "Don't leave me!"
"Time for a bathroom break. Any takers?" Kris said.
Denica was holding her legs together and looked at Glen, "I've held it this long, baby! I can go all day."
"Yeah, but can you hold it for another 10 chapters?" Denica's eyes widened.
"You've got five minutes, long as you don't mind a little company." Kris said as Denica walked to the bathroom.
"Fine, but better stay out of the stall!" Denica said as the camera man followed her to the bathroom.
Glen sighed.
"Denica you in there, girl?" The camera man opened the stall door to show Denica, sleeping, with her pants down at her ankle.
Kris was waiting impatiently for Denica to get back, then an intern gave her a piece of paper, and announces, "And we have news, it looks like Denica's taken a dive on the can. Which means, the official winner of the Awak-a-thon is..." Glen fell to the ground face first, sleep finally took over. "Glen! The Screaming Gophers win!"
The Killer Bass were standing outside their cabin in fear. Ivan was screaming and throwing things out the window, "ARRRRRR, WHERE IS MY MP3 PLAYER? ONE OF YOU MUST HAVE STOLEN IT, I KNOW IT! I NEED MY MUSIC! NO ONE IS GOING ANYWHERE UNTIL I GET MY MP3 PLAYER BACK, GRRRR" he threw a book at Harriet's head.
"Ow!" Harriet yelled, rubbing the pain on her head.
"Okay, whoever took it better give it up now, before he demolishes the whole camp." Curtis whispered to his team.
Heath walked up to them, "Hey guys. Whoa, this place is a pigsty."
"Someone stole Ivan's MP3 player." Curtis whispered.
"You mean this?" holding it up in his hand "I was wondering who it belongs to. I found it by the campfire pit, you must have dropped it."
Ivan saw his MP3 player and grabbed it, "Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!" Ivan said happily.
Heath shrugged, "Sure thing."
CONFESSIONAL - HEATH
"Turn a team against their own members, easiest trick in the book." Heath said with a smug.
"Sorry about that guys, guess no one stole it after all." Ivan scratched the back of his neck, "Okay, maybe I overreacted a little, hehehe."
The Killer Bass were sitting around the campfire pit, Kris walked up with a plate of marshmallows, "You've all cast your votes and made your decision. There are only nine marshmallows on this plate, when I call your name, come up and claim your marshmallow. The camper who does not receive a marshmallow, must immediately go to the Dock of Shame, catch the Boat of Losers and leave. And you can never come back...ever. The first marshmallow goes to Denica, Bradley, Curtis, Kam and Sam..."
"Yes!" The bros both shouted as they got up and gave each other a high-five.
"Taylor, DJ, Georgia." That leaves Harriet and Ivan. "Campers, this is the final marshmallow of the evening..." Both Harriet and Ivan stare at it nervously for almost a minute. "Harriet."
Relieved, Harriet went to get it. "Ivan, the Dock of Shame awaits."
"Nice, really nice. Who needs this stupid-ass TV show anyway?" He walked past Kris and kicked her in the shin.
"OW! Have a good night sleep tonight. You're all safe." Kris said, clutching her leg.
CONFESSIONAL - CURTIS
"See, I told you, you can't act like a total raging psychopath and then expect people to just forgive you, no matter how touch and strong and fast you are. He's never gonna have a career if he doesn't get his act together."
CONFESSIONAL - HEATH
"So Ivan was one of their strongest players and now he's gone." Heath said, as he put his hands behind his head and crossed his leg. "I am completely running this game."
"So long, Evan." Ivan throws a spear at Curtis that barely missed him, "Touchy!"
Ivan was on the Boat of Losers, "I guess my temper did get the better of me... again. But whatever, it's their loss. They just lost their fiercest competitor; I hope they realize that!"
The Killer Bass were all standing around the campfire pit with marshmallows on sticks, "To the Killer Bass and to not end up here again next week!" said Curtis.
Olivia was sleeping in a cave with four large Sasquatches poking her with a stick. She farted and they all kicked her out, but she still didn't wake up. She felt a nearby hollowed-out log in her hand, she cuddles it and started rubbing it between her legs.
"Oh Justice..." Olivia mumbled.
Author's Notes:
I'll make sure Curtis doesn't ignore his own advice.
I thought I'd make it more obvious that Olivia is sexually attracted to Justice, than it was for Owen's crush on Justin in the show.