COO coo-ooo

(One-Shot)

Disclaimers: I don't own anything apart from some DVD's/books for this series.

AN: This is a short drabble prompt for "The Houses Competition" set in 'Marauders' Era' time. As I am old (ish), my views of them may vary from the young ones, including the fact that I am TeamCharlus/Dorea, have Sirius/James as distant relations through Black blood, as well as TeamTrans (as an ally). I do not accept any new stuff by Rowling.

House: Gryffindor

Class: Astronomy

Category: Drabble

Prompt(s): [Animal] dove

Word count: 928 according to AO3 (3 pages)

Summary: In which, Prongs has an all-out war with a dove!

'They' (whoever 'they' are) say that the dove is a symbol of peace. Well, 'they' were dead wrong! In truth, if there is such a thing as the devil, then the dove is certainly his best minion (or at least, second best ... next to spiders, but this is about doves, not spiders).

It was the start of a normal day in the lives of the Marauders. They had just finished their last class for the day. The rain had cleared. A cool breeze was up chasing the last bit of warmth from a mid-spring late afternoon.

The four of them were currently sitting under a tree outside, finishing up some homework. James tossed the Snitch he had been playing with to Sirius before standing up. After a long over-drawn-out stretch, he said, "I think I'll head into the forest for a bit, now that I have some time for myself. I haven't used Prongs in almost two days."

"Don't go in too far," Remus warned. "You know that the Dark creatures there have increased a bit due to this war with Voldemort."

"I'll just go to the other side of the lake," James replied. "I'll be fine." He hurried off into the bushes out of sight.

A few moments later, there was a loud splash as something large jumped into the lake. A red deer, with horns as long as his back, swam into view. It continued across the lake until it was out of sight.

Prongs climbed up the far bank, shaking his antlers. He looked back across the water, his sharp vision taking in the tree where his friends were sitting, before turning away to trot into the forest. He found a small clearing a few moments later. The sun cast a pitiful ray of light into the area as Prongs knelt down on his front before pulling his rump down to lie on the dirt, tucking his hooves in. He heaved a few times, pulling up some cud.

A soft sound was heard in the branches above. His long left ear turned slightly at the dissonance as he chewed contentedly. The noise died down for a moment, then started again, only closer this time.

'COO coo-ooo.'

Looking up, he could see a large white dove sitting almost directly above him, singing its little heart out.

Prongs listened as he finished the cud. He pulled up more as the dove continued to coo the same three notes over again. Prongs's brow twitched, slightly annoyed. Surely, the thing would shut up soon. He never heard a dove go on for a long time before.

'COO coo-ooo. COO coo-ooo.'

Ok, then. Prongs sighed, his large body puffing up for a moment before letting out the air like a pair of bellows.

'COO coo-ooo. COO coo-ooo.'

The incessant call was getting harder to tone out. Prongs turned his ears towards the back of his head, trying to concentrate.

The cooing was suddenly louder when Prongs felt some pain in his horns. He still had his velvet which would not shed off for a while. The talons of the dove dug in enough to pierce the tender velvet as it sang the song of its people.

Prongs swallowed his cud so quickly, he choked on it. He clamoured to his large hooves, shaking his head.

The talons released his delicate velvet. Glaring sideways, Prongs saw the dove fly off into the nearest tree.

'COO coo-ooo. COO coo-ooo. COO coo-ooo. COO coo-ooo.'

"RIGHT! THAT DOES IT!" James suddenly appeared. He put his hands on his hips, glaring at the bird who had gone quiet at his grand appearance. "Are you quite through?"

James blinked. The dove remained silent. James got down onto one knee. The dove continued to watch him. James started to shift back to his deer, his long antlers comi—

'COO coo-ooo. COO coo-ooo.'

James cancelled his Animagical shift as he stood up in human form again. "Stop it! I've had a long day. I just want a quiet place to deal with my deer! Is that too much to ask?"

'COO coo-ooo. COO coo-ooo.'

"Obviously, it is," James grumbled. He marched away to find another place.

There was a hollow between two trees that was perfect for the stag, so James settled down once more as Prongs. He chewed for about five blissful silent minutes before suddenly: 'COO coo-ooo. COO coo-ooo.'

James reappeared as he jumped to his feet. "I wish the death curse was legal to students, right now." He shot a dark look at the bird still cooing its arse off in the tree. "Oh, it's going to be like that, is it?" He stepped out in front of the tree.

'COO coo-ooo.'

Prongs reappeared.

'COO coo-ooo.'

Prongs pawed the ground.

'COO coo-ooo.'

Prongs lowered his head.

'COO coo-ooo. COO coo-ooo.'

BANG!

His horns connected violently to the tree the abominable bird was perched in, making the nuisance literally go flying.

Prongs watched it disappear into the sky before trotting off while doing a victory dance.

Flip!

Thud!

"BLAAAHH!" Prongs bleated in surprise as he tripped on a tree root, sending him down hard flat on his face, antlers all askew.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen. But it's fine. All fine. Nobody saw that. Right?

A spider scurried over his front left hoof as Prongs took a moment to collect himself. Prongs yanked his hoof away in disgust.

He stood up slowly.

"It's official!" James snarled aloud to himself a moment later as he stomped off towards the lake to head back. "I HATE doves!"