One evening a couple of months later they were all sitting as they usually did listening to Anne read with her usual flair. The book was nearly finished now and the Blythe family were waiting for their father to return. Surely any day now. It had been a wonderful interlude. Their uncle Matthew had introduced them to the family farm and proved himself to be a wonderful mentor with endless patience. Each child had bonded with a seperate member of the Lynde family. Anne had worked hard but realised that her fate was just like any other daughter's when she watched Marilla help her mother.
And Rachel and Marilla? They had gotten reacquainted. They had been so close when they were young and now their friendship had deepened and matured as they faced the trials of motherhood and married life together. They had had many a chat over their craft or on long walks around their corner of the island.
One fine afternoon they took off leaving the babies in the capable hands of their older girls. Wandering aimlessly they found themselves looking out over the sea and to the lighthouse across the bay with white walls catching the sun.
"I love a lighthouse don't you?" remarked Marilla fondly.
"I never really thought about them. They're pretty enough I guess," Rachel replied.
"Well take it from me on dirty nights that flashing light provides such a sense of comfort telling us to avoid that area.
Rachel shuddered, "it sounds dire, that's what."
Marilla laughed, "I suppose it does. But there's something exhilarating about stormy weather too. You'll think we're crazy, but we rather love it. And its when the storm is raging that they need their mother most, even Gilbert who feigns bravery the rest of the time needs me, that's very special. And it's a warm sign of civilisation when you've been at sea for weeks, it's nice to see that flash of light informing you that land is not far off."
"No, I don't know how you can bear it." Rachel stamped the ground, "give me terra firma any day." Marilla smiled and took her by the arm. It was time to head home, their babies would be hungry.
Bang, bang bang bang!
"Who is it this time?" Thomas said grumpily. "Oh, it's you again," he said when he found John Blythe on his doorstep. "She's not here. You'll have to go on up to Green Gables." He shut the door in John's face and turned to see Rachel's wrathful countenance.
"You could have said something, greeted the man," chided Rachel.
"I don't owe him anything," Thomas said abruptly. "Let him find her, got nothing to do with me." He settled back in his armchair and picked up the newspaper as if he was completely disinterested, though when he realised he had read the same paragraph three times without comprehension he threw the thing to the floor. "I'm off to bed. Rachel watched him go, picked up the paper and put it on the table then sat and watched the coals flicker thinking what might be happening up the laneway.
Up that laneway John received a warm welcome. Marilla and the children crowded around him kissing and hugging him. He tip-toed into the bedroom to bestow a kiss on baby Susanna, "she's filled out some," he whispered to Marilla who nodded. "I should hope so, she's eating enough," she said ruefully.
"She's got to keep up with her brothers," he smiled and embraced Marilla. "My love I don't have the words to say how sorry I am."
"Sorry?"
"For leaving you like that. Just know it was the hardest thing I've ever done."
"Darling, you brought me to the safest hands in the world. What more could you have done?" Johnny intervened at that point, desperate to see his father and they left their conversation for the time being.
Tucked up in bed later John turned to Marilla to say, "I felt, still feel so guilty."
Marilla gathered him into her arms, "John you had to get the cargo to its destination, I know that. That's what we signed up for." He looked at her with tears in his eyes. "Yes, we," she reiterated. "We have signed up for it. We're in this together."
"I could just work on land, get a desk job or come back and work the farm…"
"...and be miserable, I don't want to be married to a sad man. I want one who is happy where he is. It all worked out for the best and I've had a good catch up with Rachel and the children are thriving. You did the right thing John, really you did. Please don't fret, be at peace with your decision."
He laid his head on her shoulder with his hand cupping her, "really?"
"Yes. As lovely as it has been to be home, I'm keen to get back out there," she unlaced her night gown and lay back to let him caress her with fingers and mouth.
"You wanna go back?" his voice was somewhat muffled as by now he was kissing her breasts. Marilla's only reply was a soft moan which John took to mean she did.
The next morning John confronted Thomas Lynde to convey his thanks. Thomas was busy mending a broken axe handle. He proved no friendlier than he had been the night before. Setting down the axe somewhat reluctantly he snarled, "you've got a bloody cheek John Blythe, waltzing in here with a sick wife in tow. Off you traipsed without so much as a fare thee well and we don't hear a peep out of you for fifteen years and the next thing we know you're bashing our door down demanding help."
"I know I know." John was abjectly sorrowful.
"And that bloody letter. Have you got any idea how that letter upset Rachel?"
"Letter? What letter?" now John was confused.
"Marilla wrote her last year. We were happy, busy but happy. Rachel had the children and was content then Marilla's letter lobs into our lives and she's at sixes and sevens. How dare you?" Thomas stood in the barn raging into John's face spittle flying. "She's never been the same since. And don't get me started on poor Matthew Cuthbert. She up and left him high and dry."
"Now look here," said John standing up for himself for the first time. "You can argue on behalf of your wife, I'll allow that. But leave the Cuthberts out of it. If Matthew wants to complain he's an adult, he can speak for himself."
"But he won't will he? A gentler man never walked this earth. Marilla just deserted him."
"Their parents were still alive."
"Yes, they were, but not for long. Old man Cuthbert cussed himself to death and his wife soon followed. Marilla's departure broke that family."
John replied earnestly, "they were broken already. Michael's accident was the death knell. Was Marilla supposed to sacrifice her happiness, her life, on the family alter? Is that what you're saying?"
"Well look where it got her," Thomas leaned in close to John spittle flying. "You took her away and then she nearly died in my spare bedroom!" That struck home and John sank to the floor, stray bits of hay festooning his trousers. "Oh God don't remind me. Don't you know how guilty I feel about that. I love her, oh God I love her so much." He broke down into gulps of distress while Thomas looked at him, "you're pathetic, you repulse me. Your stupidity nearly cost her her life." He turned his head to spit and left John to his misery.
Rachel spied him coming up to the porch and walked out to greet him. "I'm sorry Rachel," John could barely meet her eyes.
"Sorry?"
"For burdening you so."
"Now look here John Blythe if I ever hear of you taking her anywhere else if she's unwell then we will have words."
"It's just Thomas said…"
"Thomas? What's it got to do with him?"
"He said you had enough on your plate without us coming in and taking your time."
"Did he? Well I better not hear of you ignoring us again that's what! The thought of anything happening to her and you being nearby yet not here, well..." she trailed off suggestively. "Now if you excuse me, I have a bone to pick with my husband."
John grinned despite himself. Regardless of their argument he did not envy Thomas his next half hour or so.
Emotions were mixed as they stood in groups surrounded by a small selection of trunks on the red sand, while the small children enjoyed a last game of tag, their whizzing and high pitched shouts added to the adult's tension. White caps tipped the steel grey waves and the ship rode the waves as it strained at anchor some distance offshore. A rowing boat slipped through the water towards them through the turning tide.
Rachel fixed Marilla's shawl and hugged her tight looking over her shoulder at what looked like an absurdly tiny vessel, "I still can't believe it. You're actually leaving us again?"
Marilla looked over at John deep in conversation with Gilbert, pointing out the way the sea was flowing over the nearby reef. With a pause because she must have told Rachel a dozen times that yes she really did mean to leave, she nodded, "I am."
"It just looks frighteningly small."
Marilla laughed, "I suppose it does. At times it feels so very large it's our entire home, but then at other times it does feel tiny. But she's done us proud and steered us true. I feel so exhilarated when I hear the gulls scream, the wind filling the sails and the crew singing their shanties, Rachel. I know I'm truly alive in those moments. There's nothing really to match it.
A few feet away Anne stood close by Matthew, Goliath chittering nervously on her shoulder. "Anne?" Matthew said to her quietly. "What's the matter?" Anne was silent but she pressed into his side. "Do you not want to go?" It was almost imperceptible, but Matthew could just see the barest head shake. "Anne?" He looked at her and was dismayed to see one single tear trace down her freckled cheek. His heart breaking for her, he called Marilla over. "I don't think Anne wants to go," he said to her quietly.
Marilla looked at her sharply, she had enough on her plate at that moment, what with the boys whizzing around excitedly, the baby starting to grizzle and farewells to be made. Now was not the time to have her girl bail on her.
"What is it?" Rachel took a step towards them followed by her Marilla.
"I think Anne would rather stay on dry land," Matthew explained gently.
"With you," Anne whispered looking up at him.
"Rather leaves me high and dry," said Marilla irritably.
There was a pause, then much to Rachel's shock and dismay her Marilla piped up, "I could go." Rachel looked at her in confusion. "You know I could Ma." She looked at Marilla, "I'm good with children as you know Aunt Marilla and I'd like the adventure."
"This is a pretty kettle of fish," said Rachel definitely. "Thomas, I need you," she called to him.
"What is it?" Thomas said scuffing over through the red sand. "I want to go with them Daddy," Marilla said excitedly.
"With them? On that?" Thomas said incredulously pointing out to sea.
"Mm hm," her eyes lit up. "It sounds exciting."
Rachel and Thomas snorted and he scoffed, "exciting? It's a fools errand that's what it is. I forbid it. You've got your girl already," he said glancing over at Anne. She can go with you like she's supposed to."
"No," said Matthew quietly with his arm around Anne's shoulders protectively. "She's staying here." There was something determined about his soft voice that arrested Thomas. He looked at Matthew seeing a new defiance in the usually cowed man.
"Please Daddy," begged Marilla. "Please just this once." Thomas looked at Matthew, then at Marilla and back to Rachel. Behind them the crewman and John were loading the younger children and trunks onto the rowboat. There being little time to think it through and his girl so determined he gave a short nod despite hearing Rachel's shocked gasp. The next thing he knew Marilla was grasping them both firmly and then she was being lifted into the rowboat and all they could see as they stood forlornly on the windswept beach was their girl growing smaller and smaller as the boat was rowed out through the breakers to the ship beyond. She turned once and waved and then they were gone.
Rachel glared at Thomas with tears of anger or sadness she couldn't tell, then gathered the children sharply and sat in the buggy waiting for him to drive.
That left Anne and Matthew alone on the beach. The monkey sat quietly on her shoulder and she absent mindedly stroked his head while she watched the ship as it set sail and soon disappeared out of sight. Matthew stood with her stalwartly then when the ship had gone offered her his hand and together they made their way home.
"Happy to be back?"
Marilla leant back into John's chest the wind in her hair as they both watched an albatross swoop over the swell and sighed, "absolutely."
"No second thoughts?"
Marilla laughed, "you remind me of when we left Avonlea the first time."
"Mm, feels a bit like that, a bit foolhardy," he said.
"No," Marilla swivelled around in his arms to look at him and taking his cheeks in her hands added, "not foolish. My place is with you, wherever that might be. It was lovely to visit them again, but this," she looked around and brought her eyes back to him, "is our home."
"Good, I'd never make you stay, but I sure am pleased you want to but you know next time you want to go back, just say so Mar. No need to be so melodramatic about it." She smiled up at him as she leant into his chest.
She and Rachel had gone for one last walk down the old Avenue where the blossom was just beginning to fill the air and the faint scent filled Marilla with homesickness. "Well we're all packed and the children are excited to be gone," Marilla said as Green Gables came back into view.
"But you're not going back out there surely?"
"Why wouldn't I?"
"It's so dangerous, you nearly died Marilla!"
"Yes, but that's not the ship's fault. I could have haemorrhaged anywhere."
"But there's no doctors, no surgeons to help. Aren't you frightened?"
"I am, of many things, but not that. I'll be fine. I'll take precautions next time. Make sure I go on shore earlier. I won't get caught out again. Calm yourself Rachel. All will be well."
"Don't you miss land? Miss us?" Rachel's tone was softer now.
"Of course, I do, but John is out there, and I must stay by his side. It's a lonely calling, that of a sea captain. He needs solace, he needs companionship. No one else can provide that. He must stand apart from his crew, no one can know his doubts and fears. No one but me. If I can do nothing else, I can be there for him. He's human like the rest of us, but he must be firm and courageous for the crew, he must be their captain. To me he can be just John."
Marilla thought of her speech now and hugged John who allowed her one peck on his cheek, "later," he murmured. "Not in front of the crew." She smiled and turned back to watch the sea, listening to the wind billowing in the sails while John issued orders. Yes, this was where she belonged.