Trigger Warning: This chapter holds some pretty heavy subtext that may not sit well with some people. Read at your own risk.
Spades sat in a bathroom stall, gingerly peeling off her catsuit. Her fingers gingerly grazed her side, and she let out a small hiss of pain when they touched sore flesh. It didn't seem as though Ladybug's magic was all that good at repairing injuries. Thankfully, it had healed her just enough, and while it was still sore, the wound wasn't anything a few bandages couldn't take care of. Taking out a mini-med kit, the thief set to work cleaning herself up.
The sudden slamming of a door made Luna jump . She quickly pulled up her feet and braced them against the door of her stall. Holding her breath, she listened to the stomping of feet pass by. Her confusion only grew as a flash of red light filled the bathroom.
"I can't believe him!"
Spades frowned at the outburst. Why did that voice sound so familiar?
"Calm down, Marinette," another voice said, this one much higher than the first one.
Spades' frown deepened. Marinette? Why was she here? Who was she talking to? What had her so pissed?
"Calm down?! Tikki, he let that bitch crawl all over him! And then, he just shoves me aside like that?!"
Huh? Who the hell was Tikki? Who was crawling over who? Did it have something to do with Adrien?... Wait... Did she mean the kiss? Did Marinette know who Chat was?!
"It wasn't like she gave Chat a choice," the voice named Tikki said. "I'm sure he's just as upset by it as you are."
Well that answered one question.
"He sure as hell didn't seem it," Marinette said with a snort. "For someone who claims to be in love with me, he wasn't exactly pushing her away, was he?"
In love with... oh... OH, GOD NO! Luna slammed a hand over her mouth. She fought the urge to scream at the realization. Marinette... Marinette was... and she'd just kissed Adrien right in front of her! Fuck, fuck, fuck!
'Wait...' Luna thought. 'Marinette can't know that was Adrien. If she did, she wouldn't have turned him down. So then, Adrien actually likes Marinette and doesn't know it... because she's actually Ladybug... who's been rejecting him... because she likes Adrien... Who she doesn't know is Chat...
'They're... they're freaking morons!'
Apparently, Tikki agreed with that sentiment, because the little voice chuckled. "Sounds like someone's jealous."
Marinette gasped. "I am not jealous!"
'Girl...' Luna thought. Even without the crazy love... square? Yeah, square. Even without that, it was some serious denial.
"Well, don't you think you're just a tad bit overreacting?" Tikki asked. "It's not like the thief hasn't stolen a kiss from you, too. And from what I recall, you didn't pull away, either."
Luna smirked to herself. 'Yeah, get off your high horse! And you stole one right back, too!'
"Th-that was different! I was just stunned."
"So, why couldn't it have been the same for Chat? You have to admit, you're not being fair to him."
"I... I know... Darn it, Tikki. Why do you have to be right all the time?"
Tikki chuckled again. "You forget that I've been around for eons."
Marinette sighed. "I'll have to apologize to Chat the next time I see him, then. I hope he forgives me."
"I'm sure he will, Marinette. No matter what, you two are still partners."
"Yeah... You're right. As usual." Another gasp left the blackette. "Oh, my god, I left Manon with Nino! They must be freaking out right now! Come on, Tikki, we have to go!"
Luna listened to the fading footsteps before slumping down in a sigh. Then a groan. Somewhere, somehow, there had to be some sort of god laughing at her.
The thief once again found herself sitting inside the beams of the Eiffel Tower, working her puzzle cube raw. Marinette... Marinette was Ladybug... It was so hard to wrap her head around that fact, and yet it made so much sense! Hell, they looked exactly the same, right down to the pigtails. How hadn't she noticed before?
Better question: what was she going to do now?
Marinette deserved to know she knew, that much was a given. She was the first real friend Luna made in Paris. And the thief wasn't about to risk that friendship over a secret. Then again, telling her the truth wasn't going to be much better.
Marinette liked Luna well enough. But Ladybug downright despised Spades.
She couldn't share her double life with Marinette like she had with Adrien. The heroine would probably try and have her arrested on the spot. Hell, she'd probably hogtie her before delivering her to the police personally. Luna groaned at the thought. Her brow furrowed as she cranked and twisted her cube faster and faster. Frustration sank its claws into her, convincing her to think up every bad outcome possible. Making her stress even more. Dulling the cube's colors with every turn.
Luna felt more than heard someone land behind her. She was snapped out of her thoughts and tucked the puzzle away before turning to greet her visitor. Upon seeing a pair of bright green eyes, however, she sighed in relief.
"Jeez, kitten. Give a girl a heart attack why don't-"
"What the hell was that?" he snapped.
Luna blinked. "Excuse me?"
Chat clenched his fists. "Back there, at the theatre! What the hell were you trying to pull, Luna?!"
"Hey! Ix nee the ame-nee! I don't go around screaming yours at the top of my lungs."
"Just answer me, dammit!"
Spades stood. "Not if you're going to keep snapping at me like that! What's the big deal?"
He balled his fists. "Don't you dare play dumb!"
"I'm not." The thief frowned, folding her arms. That was a lie. If what she heard in the bathroom was anything to go off of, it was pretty obvious what he was talking about. But she'd be damned if she was gonna let him bite her head off for it. "You know, as much fun as this is, how about we skip the pronoun game an just tell me what you're so pissy about?!"
"The kiss, Luna! Why the hell did you kiss me?!"
She rolled her eyes at him. "Seriously? That's what you're upset over? It was just a kiss, kitten."
Chat bared his fangs in a growl. His irises became catlike slits. Every bit of him seethed with anger.
"Just a kiss? Really, Spades?! There's no way in hell that was just a kiss!"
Now the thief was getting annoyed. "What was it, then? Because if you're trying to say I have feelings for you-"
"See, that's just it. You say you have no goddamn interest in me, yet you keep pulling shit like that. In front of Ladybug! When you know exactly how I feel about her!"
The thief held her tongue. She couldn't really argue that point. It was then that she took a moment to really study him. Even with the florescent green caused by his transformation, Chat's eyes seemed red and puffy... Well, shit...
"You wanna know how she looked at me after that?" Chat asked her. "How disgusted she was with me? I mean, she practically thinks I'd fuck anything with a pulse, now. I probably don't have a chance with her, anymore."
"Ever think she might've just been jealous?" Luna muttered, grasping her arm.
Chat didn't seem to hear her, though. He barked out a sarcastic laugh. "Oh, and of course Nino caught the whole thing on his phone! And we both know Alya's gonna get her hands on that. So Ladybug won't be the only one thinking I'll fuck anything that moves, all of Paris will, too! But, hey! At least I won't be labeled as a murderer anymore, right? How's that for a silver lining?"
Luna began to shrink away from him. It was a subtle shift, but one Chat managed to catch sight of nonetheless. Guilt reared its ugly head, cooling his rage if only slightly. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he tried to calm down. This wasn't right. He shouldn't have taken out his frustrations on her.
"Why didn't you stop me?"
Chat looked at her in confusion. She stared back at him with her practiced emotionless mask. God, did he hate that look.
"What do you-"
"If it was so bad for you, why didn't you stop me? Why not push me away or something?"
'Good question', Chat thought. He threw up his hands in exasperation. "I don't fucking know, Luna," he said with a sigh. "...I wish I had."
Luna couldn't help but laugh. She laughed because she knew she fucked up. Because Chat's words hurt her more than they should have. Because it was a better alternative than crying. Not that it did anything to stop her tears. She closed her eyes. She had no right to be upset.
They were just friends, right?
What gave them the right to be?
"... I think I should go." Luna barely trusted her voice well enough to whisper.
Adrien sighed again. "Luna-"
"No names, kitten. We're not supposed to know each other, remember?"
The words died in his throat. He studied the thief, wishing he could take back all he had said. He wanted to bring back the smile he took from her. To just rewind that night and start over. But all he could think to do was say "I'm sorry".
Spades shook her head. "You have no reason to be."
She took out her grappling gun and faced the city. She aimed and was ready to fire when he caught her hand.
"Please don't go," he begged.
"I need to clear my head." She pulled out his grasp and pushed him away before aiming again.
"Luna, please-"
"-What else could you possibly have to say?!"
Chat's ears flattened at her harsh tone. Silence rang out between them as their eyes locked. They both counted ragged breaths and fought the urge to cry. Luna felt herself start to shake. Her chest tightened in an all-too-familiar sign. She needed to leave. Now.
"I can't stay here, Adrien." She hated the way her voice cracked. "Please don't ask me to."
Adrien let his hand fall to his side. Spades held his gaze for a moment longer before disappearing into the landscape. And just like that, Chat was all alone. A cold numbness washed over his body, leaving him heavy and tired. He didn't even bother to wipe away his tears as moved to sit. There was no point to. Never had he hated himself more than in that moment.
Luna ran along the rooftops as fast as she could. She didn't care where she was going, or that her goggles were beginning to fog up. She had to keep moving, keep pounding her feet faster. Faster. Leap, roll, run. Don't stop for anything. Stopping meant thinking, and thoughts were dangerous. She couldn't face them. Couldn't face him!
Somewhere along the line, the thief misjudged a jump and slammed into the next ledge. She yelped in pain, clawing at the building to keep from falling further. She managed to catch herself even though her muscles screamed from exhaustion. Still, she forced herself up and over, rolling to her back. With no strength left to move, Luna laid there. She stared up at the clear sky. It felt wrong to her. At least rain would've been poetic.
Her thoughts soon caught up with her. A sob bubbled forth before she had time to stop it. And another. And another. Until she was curling up on her side, shattered and shaking. The ache in her body was nothing compared to the ache in her chest.
Foolish girl.
No business being there.
She should've known better.
Of course, she knew better! How could she have been so stupid? She waltzed him right into a hell she'd wanted no part of ever again. A hell she was still trying to escape. He had every right to hate her for that. She was such an idiot!
Can't blame him.
She was asking for it.
Luna closed her eyes and covered her ears. She tightened into her ball, sobbing even more as she tried to block them out. They weren't true. None of it was true. She hadn't wanted this. She never wanted to hurt anyone! She had just been caught in the moment-
Your fault.
No.
Slut.
Stop it!
Whore.
"SHUT UP!"
You look better on your knees, anyway.
Luna's breathing became more and more erratic as she spiraled deeper into her panic. Rational thought was gone, replaced with cold, berating voices. In her mind, she was surrounded by a mass of faceless beings. They sneered and spat her cruel thoughts down on her. They laughed at her terror. Took pleasure in her shame. Her vision blurred and dimmed as she choked.
A thunderous clap rang through her mind, silencing the hoard. Luna jumped at the sound. She sat up and looked about her. The shades were gone, now, but she hadn't quite made it back to reality. Instead of a Parisian rooftop, Luna found herself sitting in a black, empty void. Empty save for her and one other.
He stood tall and menacing before her, his staff poised to strike the floor once again if need be. His gray eyes bore down on her, but not in hate. If anything, Hawkmoth seemed to pity her.
"You have quite the troubled soul," he said, evenly.
A shiver of dread raked her. Swallowing hard, Luna glared at the villain. She did her best to gather herself, but her voice was still shaky as she spoke. "No."
He quirked a brow beneath his silver mask. "No?"
"I won't do it," she told him, her voice more sure now. "You're not going to turn me into one of your puppets."
He smiled in amusement. "So you won't come willingly. Interesting."
A chill ran down Luna's spine as he leaned in closer. "Tell me, then. What's stopping me from taking you by force?"
Luna's resolve began to crack. "You... you can't..."
"Can't I?" He raised a gloved hand, resting his fingers under her chin to lift her face upward. "Do you really think you could stop me?"
"I...I..."
"It's true no one has ever tried to deny me before. Perhaps someone with a strong enough will could manage to do just that. But, we both know your bravado is little more than a facade, child. You were never quite as tough as you pretended to be."
"That's not-"
"Would I be here if it weren't true?"
She trembled, fighting back her tears. "I... I don't want this..."
"I know." Hawkmoth sighed and straightened, again. "Believe it or not, neither do I. This is as much out of my control as it is for you."
Luna gritted her teeth as her tears fell. "You really expect me to buy that?"
"It makes little difference whether you do or not." He placed a hand atop her head, a thumb caressing her temple.
The all-too-gentle action only served to terrify Luna more. She tried to raise her hands to knock his away but couldn't. Shadows rose up from beneath her, once again taking shape of her fears. They held her in place as Hawkmoth touched the center of her forehead.
"No! Get off of me!" she screamed.
"Don't fight me, Luna. This will be over with, soon." His words were laced with power. It pulsed through her, urging her to listen. To surrender.
"No... Please..." It took everything she had just to beg.
"Sleep."
One final hypnotic pulse seized the girl, much stronger than before. Her fears tightened around her, dragging her deeper into the darkness of her mind. Luna felt herself teeter on the edge of consciousness. It felt so easy to just let go, to let herself fade. To let him take control...
Take control...
Let go...
Let go.
"Let. Me. GO!"
Hawkmoth shielded his eyes from the blinding light the girl brought forth. The spectres holding her down dissipated with ear-splitting shrieks. Spades stood, glaring at the villain.
"I refuse to be your fucking victim!" she spat. The light centered its focus in the palm of her hand, shining even brighter. "This is my body! My mind! I am the one in control! And not you or anyone else is ever going to take that away from me, again! Now, Get! Out!"
She threw the light at her feet, finally shattering the illusion. Spades blinked. She found herself back in reality, standing on the same roof as before. Scattered at her feet were small colored bits of her puzzle cube. A small black butterfly rose up from the wreckage and disappeared into the night sky. The thief took a step back, hugging herself. The weight of what happened sunk in her chest. It was too much for her to bear.
The confident mask of the thief fell, and Luna cried once more.
To say Hawkmoth was stunned was a massive understatement. He was downright floored. Literally. The shock of Luna's refusal was enough to break his transformation, leaving Gabriel Agreste sitting on the floor of his aviary. A purple winged kwami floated above him with a look of concern.
"Master, are you-"
"I'm fine, Nooroo," Gabriel said, dismissively. He stood and straightened his suit.
In truth, he was relieved. Luna had proven stronger than he'd given her credit for. Though, that fact did nothing to alleviate his guilt. He knew just how unforgivable his actions were.
"I have to say, Gabriel. I'm a little disappointed in you."
The man fought to keep from flinching. He turned to the phantom in the mirror, folding his hands behind his back. The woman he loved stared back at him with those unsettling eyes. He bowed his head, if only to spare himself the sight.
"Forgive me. She was stronger than anticipated."
"So I've seen," the woman said. She brought a hand to her chin. "I suppose I can't entirely fault you, Gabriel. It is rare that a mortal resists Nooroo's pull. What an intriguing girl."
Gabriel felt a cold sweat on the back of his neck. No good would come of this monster showing an interest in Luna. "The akuma was never purified, so we'll have another chance soon enough. I highly doubt she will elude my pull again."
"I guess we'll have to wait and see. Won't we?"
She was gone as suddenly as she came. Gabriel gritted his teeth. He feared for his friend's daughter. Feared what that woman would do if she got her claws into the child.
"Master?"
He looked at his kwami before a flutter of black caught his eye. The akuma flitted through the window, coming to rest in Gabriel's outstretched palm. As he studied it's wings, an idea began to form.
"Nooroo, see to it that this one is properly caged. It's too soon to let it spread just yet."
"Yes, master." Nooroo touched the akuma and sent it to roost within his master's miraculous.
Gabriel removed the broach and pocketed it as he pondered. He may not be able to keep Luna out of the witch's path, but perhaps he could prepare her for what would come.
I have decided on my ending, guys. It's still a way's off, but it is coming. And I fully and truly expect rage in the near future. As for the trigger warning... I won't say why it's there, only that I felt it necessary. This chapter is the reason I upped the rating of my story here, not for sexy scenes or gore, but because from the very beginning, I chose to write something that I feel isn't always handled well. I even doubt I'm handling it well! For all I know, I might be cheapening the story, and that is not my intention. I'm sorry if any of this offends you.
Dutchman75: I sense another devious mind amongst my readers.
AmuletSugar1: Um... I am really sorry. I know you were hoping for a cheerful moment but... yeah, I'm really sorry. As for my portrayal of Ladybug? I always got the idea that how Marinette acts as Ladybug and how she acts as herself were more or less different. Adrien views his powers as a way to be himself. Marinette views hers as a responsibility. Ladybug isn't real, she's a role, a symbol meant to protect Paris. We constantly see her trying to reign Chat in, trying to get him to be serious, because that's what she thinks she has to do. Yes, Marinette's snark, jealousy, and pettiness do bleed through the mask at times, but more often than not, Ladybug is meant to be seen as the moral high ground, and Marinette is working to better herself in that image.
Typicalbooklover: Oh, I never thought you were rude! I'm just really overly critical of those scenes. It was actually more of a response to your praise. Manon's reaction could be more towards the screaming than directed solely at Chat.
MadelVer: We'll just have to wait and see on that.
Junior VB: I'm sure she realizes it, too.
SpringBorn: Yep, there is definitely pressure here.
Thank you so much for sticking with me, and I hope to see you in the next chapter.
Playlist:
Unravel- TK from Ling Toshite Sigure
You Don't Know- Katelyn Tarver
Shatter Me- Lindsey Stirling feat. Lzzy Hale
Let Us Burn- Within Temptation
Elastic Heart- Sia