Thanks to emergency cheese reserves, Chat didn't have to go home right away. Though, in all honestly, he probably wouldn't have either way. Instead, he stayed out until thr first tendrils of dawn colored the sky. When finally made it back to his room, he was too worn to think about the night's events. He drew the curtains closed then whispered for Plagg to drop the transformation. Numbness sank into him. He should sleep. There wasn't much time for a nap before lessons and work. A few hours at most. The distraction would be nice. Something settled on his hip. Probably Plagg. Maybe he was hungry? He could wait. Adrien needed to sleep. He had to meet with his personal trainer first thing, and then a fitting right after. Fencing that afternoon, an hour and a half at the piano. He was going to be busy, today. Cheese can wait. Just let him close his eyes for a bit. He really should be sleeping...
The sudden banging on his door jolted Adrien awake. He sat up with a groan and immediately clutched his head. The dull pounding he felt. What time was it?
"Adrien?!"
"I'm up!" he hollered back. He fumbled around for his phone. What the hell did he do with it?
"You should've been up fifteen minutes ago!" Nathalie hollered back.
He finally found the damn thing in the pocket of his jeans. Which he was still wearing. Joy. "Give me ten minutes!"
"You have five!"
Not nearly enough time to shower and wake up. Adrien turned on his phone and groaned again. Twenty percent battery. And quite a few missed calls and texts. All from Nino. Adrien frowned. Strange, but he didn't have time to worry about it now. He threw his phone onto the charger and set to work shedding yesterday's clothes. A clean shirt had barely gone over his head when his phone buzzed to life. The teen paused, weighing his options. He was already late. What was a few more minutes? Grabbing a pair of sweats, he made his way back to the device and answered it.
"Hello?"
"Oh, so he is alive."
Adrien groaned. "Nino, can you just not? I'm not in the mood."
"Hey, I'd been trying to get hold of you all last night. You didn't even shoot me a text back. I think you've earned a little hounding."
"Dude, I'm sorry. I just..." He heaved a sigh. "Last night was pretty bad for me."
"What happened?"
"Can't really talk about it."
"Okay... It doesn't have anything to do with Luna, does it?"
The blond froze. "What makes you think that?"
"Alya told me something interesting last night. Which was the whole reason I was trying to reach you, FYI."
"What? What did she say?"
"That apparently the two of you have been locking lips behind our backs."
A hand swept through his hair. "And where'd she hear that?"
"Well, wouldn't you know it, from Luna, of all people."
He closed his eyes with a groan. "Please, tell me you're joking."
"Yeah, I'm gonna have to say no to that, man."
Of course not. That would just've been too much to ask for. Adrien sat in his computer chair and facepalmed. He didn't want to think about facing Alya the next day.
"...So?"
"So what?" Adrien said, wearily.
"Did you guys make out, or not?"
"Dude, seriously? Why do you care?"
"Dude, I don't. I'm just really freaking lost, right now. As far as I was aware, Luna'd only thrown herself at you. Which you turned down according to you."
Adrien ground his teeth. "She didn't... That's not what happened..."
"Well, can you fill in some blanks for me, then?"
"Nino, I really don't want to have this conversation, right now. I have to get ready."
"Come on, Adrien! I'm supposed to be your best friend, here! Since when do we hide things from each other?"
"You are, Nino." His chest hurt, again. "It's just... Things got really fucking complicated, and I just don't want to deal with it, right now."
He heard Nino sigh. "Promise you'll fill me in, later?"
"Nino..."
"I'm not asking for all the dirty details, man. I just want to make sure you're alright."
"I'm fine."
"Are you? Or are you just saying that to get me off your back?"
The blond huffed. Nino was silent on the other end. After a moment, the dj sighed.
"Look, if you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. I get it. But, you can't just blow me off. If you and Luna have something going on, I'm not gonna judge you for it. I just wanna be kept in the loop."
The model rubbed his eyes. He just wanted to br done with all of it, but he knew he couldn't leave Nino hanging. "Okay," he finally said. "I'll tell you at school, tomorrow."
"Alright... Hey, you really okay, man?"
"I'm getting there."
Nino hummed. "Not sure if I like that. Still, fair warning? Marinette knows about it, too. It'd probably be better if you gave her some space."
"I'll keep that in mind. I gotta go, Nino."
"Take care of yourself, man."
The line went dead, and Adrien tossed the phone back on his desk. His head hit his hands with a groan. What the hell was he supposed to do, now? Even if he didn't take Nino's advice, Marinette was bound to avoid him like the plague. Which was far from how he wanted things to go. No, he didn't care for her the way she wanted him to, but he did care. He didn't want to lose her friendship. If he'd had the chance to let her down easy... Helped her to move on...
...feelings like that don't just go away...
Nathalie banged on his door, again, causing another groan to come forth. "I heard you the first time! Gimme a minute!" Adrien moved to put on socks and sneakers, then stopped.
"Kid?" Plagg asked, floating over his shoulder.
The model rubbed his face, again. "I can't do this. Not today. I just can't."
The kwami flipped to float on his back. "Well, you know me. I'm always down to play hookie."
The idea was sounding more and more pleasant by the second. All it took was anothet round of incessant knocking for him to make up his mind. With a deep breath, Adrien stood and stretched. A whisper later, and the blond was once again cloaked in black. When the gorilla finally broke down the door, all that was left of him was an open window.
Marinette hadn't slept at all. Even long after the thief had gone, the teen had sat wide awake, just trying to process it all. Even now as she lay motionless in bed, her thoughts were on that conversation.
I'm sure you have questions."
Understatement of the century. The blackette had had a bookload of answers she wanted to demand right then and there, but she had done her best to keep cool.
"Why don't we start with how you know who I am?"
The answer was brief, and one Marinette was still mentally kicking herself for. She should've checked those stalls, should've paid more attention to her surroundings. It seemed like everything about that night was coming back to bite her in the ass. The entire time, Tikki had floated nearby, listening in on every word in utter silence. She hadn't needed to hide her presence, either. Apparently, Spades was more than aware of the existence of kwamis and had even met Chat's on occasion.
"Plagg never went into too much detail, but I'm guessing they're where you two get your powers from, right?"
It also seemed like the little cat god was the one to suggest wiping the thief's memories.
"How exactly does that work?" Marinette had asked. Tikki gave them a simple answer.
"It's really hard to say. Mostly because it depends on the skill and focus of the current Black Cat. If done right, then the mind should fill in the blanks on its own. If not, then at best some memories will be fuzzy. At worst..."
"It could mean total amnesia," Spades had said. "Good to know."
The fact that none of this seemed to faze the thief really rubbed Marinette the wrong way. Maybe because she'd expected Spades to be at least a little put off by the idea. Or maybe because she knew just how much this would hurt her partner.
"You won't miss him at all, will you?"
"If he does it right, I won't remember enough for it to matter."
A thump on her roof pulled the teen out of her thoughts. Marinette sat up in bed with a frown. When she didn't hear it again, the blackette decided to investigate. As soon as she poked her head through her sunroof, she gawked.
Well, speak of the devil.
"Chat Noir?" she asked in confusion. The cat jumped at his own name, then whipped around to find the source. As soon as he saw her, though, his ears flattened.
"H-hey, purrincess," Chat said, forcing a laugh as he scratched the back of his head. "What a surprise! Guess this is your roof, huh?"
Marinette offered him a kind smile. "You've been here before."
"Uh... right... Must not have been paying attention." He fidgeted about, and for a moment, Marinette thought he was going to bolt on her. When he didn't, she decided to fully join him on her balcony.
"So, what do I owe the visit?" she asked as she shut the sunroof. It was only then that she realized she was still in her pjs. She could feel the hints of a blush perk up but didn't dare call attention to it. Instead, she sat down in front of her partner and waited.
Chat didn't immediately join her. His eyes shifted to the balcony's edge, as if he was still considering making a run for it. "I, uh... was just getting some fresh air! Yeah, that's it. Sorry if I woke you."
"Don't worry, you didn't. I didn't get much sleep at all, actually. Kinda had a lot on my mind."
He looked down and away from her. "Yeah, I get that."
Marinette rubbed her neck. "You... wanna talk about it?"
"Huh?"
"Sorry!" she sputtered out. "It sounded like you had something on your mind, too. I wasn't sure if you..."
"It's really not that interesting," he said, sheepishly. "I wouldn't want to unload on you, anyway."
"I don't mind, Chat. Really. And you look like you could really use a friend, right now."
His mouth thinned. "It's pretty complicated."
"Well, it's still early. I think we have time."
He laughed at that. Then after a moment more, he sat down with her, holding onto his ankles. With a heavy sigh, Chat let his shoulders slump.
"I'm starting to think I should give it up."
Marinette frowned. "Give it up?"
"This." He began to toy with his ring. "The whole hero thing. I don't know if I can really do it anymore. This ring's starting to feel a lot heavier than it used to."
Her eyes widened in shock. "You... don't want to be Chat, anymore?"
Chat rubbed at his face. "Maybe? I don't know. I just... it shouldn't be this hard. Being... me... it always came so naturally before, but..."
"But?"
"But I'm starting to realize that I'm not very good at it."
"Don't be ridiculous. You do an amazing job as Chat."
His golden hair bounced as he shook his head. "All I ever do is make a mess of things."
"That's not even a little bit true." She laid a hand on his. "Chat, why are you talking like that? This isn't like you."
"I'm tired, Marinette. It feels like I'm constantly giving more of myself than anyone's willing to give back. Anytime I find something good in my life, something else pops up to take it from me. And I just keep screwing everything up... I let it slip, Mari. I let someone find out who I am under the mask."
Marinette tried to act surprised. "That's bad, right?"
He let out a humorless chuckle. "Try the worst thing I could possibly do."
Chat sighed and started toying with his ring, again.
"It didn't seem to matter at first," he went on. "She didn't seem interested in sharing who I was with anyone. I don't even think she cared about the mask. We... we actually got closer. Maybe too close." Chat hugged his knees. "I have to erase her memories of me."
That took her aback. "You... what?"
"Apparently, Hawkmoth sent an akuma after her. It didn't fully possess her, but we can't exactly risk it coming back."
Marinette knew that, already. The thief made sure she was filled in on everything. It wasn't the issue. He made it sound like... why hadn't he talked to her first?!
"Well, what does Ladybug have to say about all this? I mean, you told her, right?"
"She doesn't know everything. If she did, I doubt she'd ever forgive me."
"But, maybe you don't have to go through with it! What if you-"
"She's not willing to take the risk."
"How do you know that without talking to her?!"
"I'm not talking about Ladybug."
Marinette went silent.
"We got into a big fight about it. I told her I didn't want to do it. That I loved her too much to lose her. She told me heroes don't get to be selfish. So, we made a bet. Whoever won it would get to choose what we do. And I lost."
"Chat..."
He shook his head. "It was my dumbass idea. I don't know what I was expecting to happen. Maybe I just wanted to prove something..." He let out a weak laugh. "I must seem pretty pathetic, right now."
Marinette shook her head. "I'd never think that."
Chat buried his face in his knees. "I just feel so alone, right now."
Marinette studied him, not sure what to do. A hesitant hand found its way to the top of Chat's head. He leaned into her touch without realizing it. As she stroked his hair, the hero's body began to tremble. When she heard the first sob, Marinette pulled him close and held on for dear life.
It seemed like ages before they finally pulled apart. Chat wiped at his face with the back of his hand, sniffing a bit.
"S'rry," he mumbled.
"Don't be," Marinette cooed. "Y'know, after a cry like that, I think some chocolate chip cookies are in order."
"I couldn't." Even as he said it, his ears and tail perked up at the thought of sweets. The blackette chuckled.
"Of course you can. I won't take no for an answer."
She opened up her skylight and gestured for him to go in. After a moment's hesitation, Chat slinked into her room. Marinette followed him, and the two found themselves awkwardly sitting together on her bed. Both of them fidgeted, not sure what to do.
"I'll be right back," the pigtailed girl said. "Make yourself at home, okay?"
As soon as she was out of the room, Tikki flee up from her hiding place in her chosen's hair. She nuzzled the girl's mournful face.
"Oh, Marinette," she whispered.
"He's really hurting, Tikki. And he doesn't trust me enough to say so."
"But he did say so, Marinette."
"Just not to Ladybug. I'm his partner. I'm supposed to be there for him."
"And you are. As Marinette. You're giving him exactly what he needs right now."
"But, I-"
Tikki shushed her. "Marinette, listen to me. The mask isn't what's important. And maybe Ladybug can't be there for Chat like you want her to be. But Marinette can and is. That's what matters."
Tears blurred her vision as she scooped up the kwami and held her close to her cheek. Then, with a deep breath, Marinette grounded herself. She wasn't going to let Chat suffer alone, anymore. No matter what, she was going to be there for her partner. Her friend. With or without the mask. She could help him through this.
And cookies always made things just a little bit better.
Chat still had absolutely no idea what he was doing there. Coming to Marinette's right after Nino warned him to steer clear? Yeah, real smart on his part. That was made even more apparent as he stared at a wall covered in... well... him. His face was plastured everywhere by his friend's bed, grinning at him as if to mock his sheer stupidity. At least she had no idea the object of her affection was currently in her room. On her bed. Right after crying his eyes out over a girl that wasn't her.
Adrien, you moron!
He heard the creak of a door before the scent of warm chocolate hit him. Chat's stomach growled. That's right. He still hadn't eaten, yet. But he needed to leave, dammit! He'd already imposed on Marinette enough. Any more and he seriously doubted he'd survive his own guilt. As soon as he saw the plate, though, any resolve he had to get up and go was washed away.
"Sorry about the wait," Marinette said, all smiles. "I figured fresh would be better than stale. I know I prefer a warm stomach after a good cry."
"You didn't have to do that," he told her. God, just looking at the plate made his mouth water.
"I wanted to, though."
She offered him the plate, and Chat studied the girl in wonder. Whst had he ever done to deserve a friend like her? Marinette, who was kind and fair to everyone, even when they didn't deserve it. Who could sass him under a table as Chat, but could barely talk to him as Adrien. Who loved a part of him he struggled to see any worth in.
And yet, he just couldn't feel the same way.
"Chat?"
Her voice pulled the blond out of his thoughts, and he flashed her a sheepish grin. "Thanks, princess," he said, taking a cookie. "That's sweet of you."
Marinette chuckled. "Papa always said I had sugar in my veins."
Chat took a bite and hummed, contently. "Y'know, if he's looking for a son, I totally wouldn't mind being adopted."
They shared a laugh. As the pair devoured the plate of cookies, Chat's eyes went back to the mural on the wall. Marinette must've caught him staring, because she let out a heavy sigh.
"I should really take all this down."
His ears twiched. Before he could stip himself, Chat asked a tentative "why?"
Marinette let her fingers trace one of the pics. "They're all of the boy I like. I've kind of had a crush on him for awhile, now, but I've never had the courage to tell him."
Chat didn't want to hear this. He had no right to. But he forced himself to listen. He needed to repay her somehow, right?
"To he honest, I don't think he's ever seen me as anything more than a friend," she went on.
"Then he's obviously an idiot," he muttered.
Marinette laughed. "Yeah, someone told me that, already."
"So why do you like him, then?"
"I don't know. I mean, it's obvious to say he's attractive, but... I don't think enough people see just how kind he is. Or hardworking. I've never seen him as just a pretty face."
Chat found it hard to swallow. He studied the cookie in his hand, his appetite suddenly gone. He set it back on the plate, then grabbed his ankles. Silence stretched out between them before he finally spoke again.
"You should tell him."
"Huh?" Marinette asked, blinking at him.
"Tell him how you feel," Chat said. "Even if nothing changes... It's still better if he knows, right?"
She shook her head. "I wouldn't want to make things awkward between us. I mean, can you really stay friends after a confession like that?"
"But-"
"I'm pretty sure he likes someone else anyway."
Chat's ears flattened. He felt like he should say something, but what was there to say? She was right. Even still, he wanted to hear it. He wanted to give her the chance to tell him everything. Even if he couldn't love her back, he-
I've always been too nervous to tell him...
Chat froze. Why did that sound so familiar?
"I actually got into a fight with a friend of mine over him," Marinette told him.
...It felt like it came out of nowhere...
He swallowed hard. "Y-you did?"
Marinette nodded. "She said she kissed him."
'And she knew you liked him?' he thought with horror.
"I think she likes him, too."
...Adrien, my best friend likes you. Really, truly likes you.
He suddenly felt sick to his stomach. Oh... oh, God! How had he been so blind?!
...It's not my place, Adrien...
...I doubt he even knows I exist.
It was right there in front of him the whole time! Her voice, the pigtails, her eyes! How did he miss it?
...You shouldn't ignore a girl that's right in front of you...
...Still, I'm done chasing models...
...She was jealous, you know...
"Chat?"
...Yeah, laugh it up...
...Ladybug and Marinette! Those are your choices, Adrien...
...Ladybug, savior of Paris, has a crush on Adrien Agreste...
She's closer to you than you think.
"Chat Noir!"
Chat jumped, staring into startled bluebell eyes. His ears were pinned back as he imagined a red mask framing them.
"I... I..."
"Chat, what's wrong?" Marinette pressed.
"I..." He didn't want to think anymore. Couldn't think anymore. "I have to go."
"Wait a-"
He bolted out of the bed and back through the skylight before she could stop him. His heart hammered away in his chest as he extended his staff. He needed to leave. Needed to be anywhere but there! He tried to leap, but he was yanked backwards by his tail. With a yelp, the cat crashed into a set of potted plants. He quickly grabbed his head and hissed.
"Oh my God, are you alright?!" Marinette asked.
"That hurt," he said with a groan.
"I'm so sorry! It's just you were running and... You're not bleeding are you?!"
"Nope! Right as rain!" he gave her a nervous laugh. "I really need to get going." He tried to get up but was stopped by her hand on his shoulder.
"Are you sure you're okay?"
"Of course! It takes more than that to-"
"Chat," she said sternly, squeezing his shoulder. "Are you really okay?"
They stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity. Chat sombered.
"No..." he whispered. "But I will be."
Marinette pulled him into another hug. Chat stiffened a bit, but he let himself ease into his partner's embrace, wrapping his arms around her as well.
"You're not alone, okay?" she said as she tightened her grip. "Please don't ever think that."
Chat heard her sniff, and his chest ached. "Princess..."
Marinette pulled back to look at him, again. Fresh tears rolled down her cheeks. "I'm sure if Ladybug was here, she'd say the same thing."
He couldn't help but smile at that. "You're probably right."
"Also," she said wiping her face. "You owe me a new orchid."
Both teens laughed.
You guys sick of the drama yet? Cause I'm not done dishing it out! Still have a couple more chapters to go, and I'm currently on a roll. That being said, I'll save review replies for next chapter as this one came out so quick. See you all nect time!
Playlist:
The Sharpest Lives- My Chemical Romance
Unravel (Cover)- Jonathan Young (yes, I know I put this on here three times. You listen to these lyrics and tell me it doesn't fit!)
Decode- Paramore
Whispers in the Dark- Skillet