Oops I forgot to write Mercedes. She's still in- I'll just get her next chapter.

Isabella Disney-Busattil- Master of Ceremonies

"Welcome to Isabella in the Evening, and good evening to you all! I'm Isabella Disney-Busattil, and this is the Hunger Games Grand Parade! I'm so excited to be here with you on my first Res Games parade, and I've brought a bevy of delightful co-hosts with me. But first, let's see what our lovely stylists have in store for us."

"It's always exciting to see what the Resurrection Games stir up. This year we've taken a back to the basics' approach. With so many Tributes, it's just ungainly to find some contrived way to convey them. Instead we've opted to let them speak for themselves. Marching along in a coordinated unit, it's the Ones! Each of them wears a bodysuit covered in jewels, from Diamond wearing obisidian to Olivine delighting in rubies. They triumphantly hold aloft their assigned signature weapon, the rapier."

"For District Two, we salute Panem's heroes: the Peacekeepers. It's difficult to tell who's who, perhaps putting them at a disadvantage, but they nonetheless shine as they stalk the runway, their raised batons daring anyone to threaten the peace and security of our nation."

"Here's where things are going to get creative. The Threes aren't known for their weapon skills. Oh, dear. It seems they aren't known for their fashion skills, either. The threes display greater variety in their costumes, from plaid suspenders to most unflattering bowl cuts. They're less enthusiastic than the Twos, many of them holding their tasers stiff to one side or down by their sides. Special mention must go to Wyatt, who is holding his upside-down. Let's hope he doesn't trip."

"This brings us to our first guess: my good friend Beth Crissino. Mx. Crissino, can you share some memories of your own parade?"

"Usually I get kind of shy during these sorts of things, but my parade was easy. Everyone was staring at you so the rest of us got to sneak by."

"The stylists of Four have bowed to the constraints of logistics and scrapped their first idea, which was the delightful but difficult-to-walk-in mermaid pod. Instead the Four are dressed in stylish and classic Poseidon outfits. Yes, both men and ladies. Guess the ladies are Poseidon's wife. I'm sure he had one. I should ask Hades… anyway, their glittering tridents show everyone that they mean business."

"The Fives wear… how do I describe it? Those suits workers wear when they're doing electrical stuff. Rubber gloves, thick clothes, that stuff. It's really underwhelming, honestly. This one's not one of the better ones. They seem to be having fun, though, so that's nice. In a stretch of imagination, the stylists have linked Five with bombs- kinetic energy, I guess? Explosions? Luckily they're just duds, since some of the Tributes have started playing catch."

"Below me, a shop's worth of grease monkeys stomps down the runway. The Sixes wear everything from ripped jeans to stained shirts to a few shirtless showoffs. I even see a few who must have been at a car wash, since they're in nothing but bikinis. Maxson looks mortified, but Ferrari hasn't a care in the world. All of them- even, most incongruously, the bikini babes- are armed with wrenches."

"Let's take a moment for our second guess. Mom, what's something people don't know about the parade?

"Most of the costumes are super itchy. They're not exactly perfectly fitted and some of them are really skimpy. If you get one of the skimp ones they just glue it right to your skin. I was glad my shirt didn't come off, but I had a red line there for a week."

"Thanks, Mom. Very cool story."

"Seven-" I took a breath and summoned all my skills. What I was seeing was not... politically correct, and I was most thankful I knew ahead of time- I would have lost it otherwise. "Seven is a tribute to our proud forerunners. From their buckskin pants to their brightly beaded shirts, the Sevens look prepared for anything. Timber sounds the war drum as everyone else readies their tomahawks." I put my hands over my eyes and prayed they at least didn't make them do a war cry.

"The Eights are… really disturbing. Oh God, couldn't they have picked anything else? Why would anyone want to see a godforsaken parade of soulless mannequins walking like the humans they clearly aren't? Oh, that is disturbing. They don't have faces. And they're all carrying the awls, too, so it's just a total nightmare. Oh, Snow have mercy."

"Nine has decided to turn up this year. Embracing their assigned weapon of scythes, the Nine are a foreboding cadre of grim reapers gliding over the fog billowing at their feet. It's hard to recognize any in particular- except Miller- but the effect is striking. Not as messed-up as the Eights but a nice sort of spooky."

"Our third guest today is my father, Frankie Disney! What do you think of the parade?"

"It's nice."

"Any thoughts? Comments on so far?"

"Not really."

"Ten brings us an update on the classic cowboy outfit by arming these ones with pistols. The Tens look downright threatening in their black leather get-ups. Briar is aiming her gun at the crowd. Oh, it's confetti. That's fun. I hope she knew that beforehand."

"Oh, no. I have seen too many horror movies." The rustling scarecrows were almost worse than the mannequins. "I can only imagine how scratchy that is, folks." Several of the Tributes proved it by their jerky motions and constant itching. Their pitchforks would have upped the scary factor if several weren't using them to scratch their backs.

"Last up we have the scary miners. Yes, I know they're not here yet. We all know that's what it's going to be. Oh, look, here we have some scary miners. They're covered in coal dust and they're carrying pickaxes. Yawn. They're not even doing anything interesting for me to comment on. Even they know how boring this is."

"There we have it, folks, the Hunger Games Grand Parade! Compared to other Resurrection parades, it was… honestly kind of a letdown. Not really that cool a twist when you look at the others. Just "weapons themed"? Lame. But we had a great time anyway and I know there's lots more to come. Stay tuned for the after-show!"

I couldn't think of a good twist so instead I'll just roast myself.