Chapter 22

The summer flew away in a rush before Ga Eul realized how close she was to her senior year. Her days were mostly spent in Yi Jung's presence. Whether that was in the company of Jan Di and the F4, or alone in the workshop or his studio, even after she finished fixing the car, the days she spent alone were scarce, and she was grateful that her summer was filled with the people that she loved. That she grew even closer to her loved ones.

But there was a realization that Ga Eul kept to herself. Something so foreign she couldn't admit to herself. Being around Yi Jung more and more had only confirmed her suspicions further.

She saw his eyes—how much they gleamed for her. She saw how there would always be an empty space beside him whenever they went out. Always waiting for her to fill the space. Whenever she would get approached by a stranger, specifically a man, he made sure he nudged her closer to him. At first, Ga Eul thought nothing of it. That it was just him being protective over her after what happened at the club. However, with each passing moment in their peaceful and silence-filled days, they had grown more used to each other. More comfortable than, less a than a year, friendship should feel like. And Ga Eul didn't have the courage to face herself or Yi Jung.

Ga Eul had been brushing her hair in front of her vanity, smiling in contentment. Today was her birthday, and she knew that her friends have planned a surprise birthday party for her. Although the surprise element was thrown out of the window, she was still appreciative nonetheless. Ga Eul made sure to wear her hair down nicely and put on a more respectable outfit than her usual attire. She had been spending more time than usual in the morning getting ready, and she knew she had scarce time before her parents realized her presence. She hadn't faced them for two years, and she didn't plan on breaking that habit. Ga Eul released a sigh as she gathered her stuff, thinking how nice it would be to have leisurely moments around the room without time schedules.

Her parents wouldn't have done anything if they faced her. They knew she lived in the house from time to time. It was true that they had exiled her two years ago, and she spent that time with Jan Di's family, but that situation didn't last for long. After a few months, they started filling her bank account with allowance one more, after cutting all sources of finance from her. They had also taken the liberty to quadruple the amount of her allowance. Ga Eul had taken that as a sign of consolation. It used to make her livid before. Their only sign of regret till now had been her allowance.

At first, she refused to do anything with the money, but she knew she couldn't rely on Jan Di's family anymore. She had to move out.

Now, her allowance was safely secured in her bank account, almost untouched except for emergencies. She abandoned the pride younger Ga Eul had. She had decided that she would accept the money as consolation, and use it to her heart's content when the time was right.

Opening the door to the den, Ga Eul was greeted with confetti and a chant of five people screaming happy birthday at her. Bursting into laughter, Ga Eul squeezed Jan Di in a hug.

"You saw this coming, didn't you?" Jun Pyo asked, annoyed. "I told you guys not to do the same thing for Ga Eul's birthday." Jun Pyo whined.

"It's still the best birthday either way." Ga Eul said while being side hugged by Woo Bin.

"I'm not going to celebrate my next birthday here. I don't care what you guys say to persuade me." Jun Pyo said.

"Alright, we got it. Don't you want to celebrate the birthday girl?" Ga Eul teased.

"I apologize. Here, take this as a token of my appreciation." Jun Pyo said, giving Ga Eul a bag.

"Don't you have any manners? We give the presents after the cake." Jan Di said, kicking him in the arm.

While eating the cake, an unexpected question was shot at Ga Eul.

"What are your wishes for your birthday?" Yi Jung asked, as usual, seated beside her.

"I don't wish for anything. I have everything I want here."

"Are you really not going to college?" Woo Bin asked, curious.

"I don't think so. My academic life is pretty much fucked." Ga Eul chuckled while taking a bite.

"Nothing I couldn't solve." Yi Jung said, as a matter of fact.

"It's so sweet that you're offering me nepotism for my birthday, but I'll have to pass. I don't want to go to college."

"But, all of us are going to college. It's only a matter of a year before Jan Di joins us. Don't you want to be with us, too?" Jun Pyo asked.

"Of course, I'd love to be with you guys. There's nothing I'd enjoy more. But, I have to think about what I really want. I need a clear focused mind." Ga Eul said, grimacing at the thought of being separated from them, especially Yi Jung and Jan Di.

"I thought you wanted to continue working in mechanics." Ji Hoo said.

"I do love it, but I'm not sure if I love it more as a hobby or a job."

"Enough with the interrogation. Let the girl eat her cake in peace." Jan Di said, saving Ga Eul from the bombarding of questions thrown at her. Ga Eul mouthed a thank you at her in discrete.

Ga Eul looked around at the gifts given to her and decorations and smiled to herself. "Those must've been a bitch to hang up." Ga Eul said, remembering how she and Yi Jung spent so much time making this place ready for Jan Di's birthday. She couldn't help feeling giddy as she thought of all the effort that they'd gone through to make her happy.

"Tell me about it." Jun Pyo whined.

"Can you behave yourself for one second?" Jan Di asked, in fury.

"You guys didn't have to give me anything. Thank you so much." Ga Eul said, gratefully.

"Like we would pass your birthday without giving you anything." Jan Di scoffed.

"We're not pointing fingers or anything, Yi Jung." Woo Bin said, addressing the fact that he was the only one without a gift.

"My gift's not ready, yet." Yi Jung replied, rolling his eyes, before he got out his phone and smiled at the screen. "Actually, I take that back." Yi Jung said, taking Ga Eul's hand, and pulling her. "Would you mind coming up with me for a second?" He asked, playfully.

"Well, of course." Ga Eul said, laughing, following his lead with the rest of them hot on their tails.

Once outside, Ga Eul looked at her precious Carolina wrapped in a red bow, parked in a red bow. Shiny and brand new just like she left it for him. Its color bright, and attention-grabbing in the street. Just like Yi Jung's Lotus.

"Yi Jung, what's Carolina doing here? Why's it not in your garage?" Ga Eul asked, excited, her brain not comprehending.

"From now onwards, Carolina is yours. It was always yours. I just happened to hoard it for a while, and added to it a new sound system." Yi Jung said, smirking.

"You're not serious, right?" Ga Eul asked, her voice high-edged.

"Absolutely serious." Yi Jung said.

"You didn't. You didn't." Ga Eul said, before running into his arms, wrapping her arms around him. She let out a disbelieving laugh. Yi Jung tightened his hold on her and she could feel him smiling on her shoulder. For a second, Ga Eul forgot everything as she felt him around her, feeling everything was set into place for a while. Hearing his heartbeat against his chest, hers felt lulled by its rhythm. Realizing they'd been hugging for a while, ga Eul pulled back, clearing her throat, staring at Yi Jung's eyes.

"Let's see you in it." Jan Di said.

"Definitely." Ga Eul replied, awkwardly.

Ga Eul opened the car to her precious Carolina. Seated inside, she put the key into the ignition and heard the response in the engine. "You missed Mommy, didn't you?" Ga Eul cooed.

"I'm about to throw up." Woo Bin said.

"Don't ruin our reunion." Ga Eul said, over the window. "She spent so many months under my care. No one understands her as I do." Ga Eul continued.

Ga Eul stayed behind with Woo Bin and Ji Hoo cleaning up. Everyone else went home. She would've left with Yi Jung, but she knew they wanted her for a talk, and it was long coming. It only took Ga Eul a few minutes after Yi Jung left before she said, "I know you guys wanted me to stay behind, so what's up?"

"I told you she'd notice." Ji Hoo told Woo Bin.

"If you knew I was that smart, why didn't you come forward, and tell me directly that you're the one who told Jan Di and Jun Pyo about Hong Joon's party?" She said.

"I knew you would want to reprimand me, but I was surprised you waited that long." Ji Hoo said.

"I was mad, but I didn't stay that way for long. It was useless to start a fight. Although I'm still curious why you did that."

"Because it couldn't have stayed a secret any longer. Jan Di was starting to lose hope about your friendship." Ji Hoo replied, cooly.

"I hate your logic." Ga Eul said, over the ladder, she was sitting on to get the decorations down.

"I don't normally intervene in these things, so take that as a compliment."

"How did you know about Hong Joon?" Ga Eul asked.

"Yi Jung was being cryptic as to why he wouldn't want to hang out with us that day. He only said he had to meet up with you to help you. He offered us to tag along in a hurry, so we realized that must've been what you've been keeping from Jan Di. She always complained about not seeing you as much when she was with us." Woo Bin explained.

Ga Eul took a moment to comprehend the effect her lies had on Jan Di, and how much it made a change in her life now that she was being honest once more. She couldn't hide the ting of guilt that appeared on her face.

"It's all in the past. Stop worrying." Ji Hoo said.

"I know." Ga Eul responded.

"Ga Eul, that wasn't why we wanted you to stay behind." Woo Bin said, taking a breath, and resuming, "You do realize that he's in love with you, don't you?" Ga Eul got shocked by the sudden bluntness. She had hoped that no one had realized that, yet. However, it looked that luck wasn't by her side.

"You noticed?" Ga Eul asked.

"Everyone did." Ji Hoo replied.

"What are you planning to do about it?" Woo Bin asked.

"I don't know. I'm only bargaining on the time I have left before he realizes it, too." Ga Eul huffed.

"Are you sure about that? You haven't seen what he was like that day when he found out what Hong Joon did. I have never seen Yi Jung that livid. He only kept calm for you. It's always you he thinks about first, and all he ever gushes about. He cares for you deeply. Too deeply that I can't imagine what he would do about this whole situation." Woo Bin said.

"That's why I won't say anything for now. I can't imagine losing him."

"It's not that we're worried about." Ji Hoo said.

"How do you mean?" Ga Eul asked, confused.

"Let's look at the facts here, Ga Eul. Yi Jung wouldn't leave you even if he wanted to, which he doesn't, so it's him we're worried about. We don't want another Eun Jae situation." Woo Bin said.

"Is that her name?" Ga Eul inquired.

"Yes, I'm surprised Yi Jung still hadn't told you about her." Ji Hoo said.

"Whether you know about her or not isn't the issue right now." Woo Bin said, looking at Ji Hoo, before continuing, "We know you like living in the shadows, and that's understandable, but that would never be the case with Yi Jung. He would always stand out no matter what. Would you be able to handle that? We want you to think carefully before you continue on with this friendship. Sooner or later Yi Jung would find out. I don't want you guys to depend on each other's presence too much."

Ga Eul found her voice hitched in her throat. She wasn't ready to answer that question. In fact, she wasn't ready to feel all these emotions. What hurt more was how right Woo Bin was. She knew feigning ignorance would only let this relationship grow complicated, but there was one thing that Ga Eul hadn't realized during the summer.

Whenever Yi Jung's eyes gleamed, hers would reflect right back his. Once she steps into a room, it's the space beside him that she looks for, and their friendship, however dysfunctional it may seem to Woo Bin, has been a meteor strike made just for her. Her own comfortable miracle she secretly revelled in.

Sensing her confusion, Ji Hoo asked her a question. "I'm going to make this a lot more simple. Ga Eul, do you love him?"

"I don't know what love feels like." Ga Eul admitted in a small voice. "But I could only imagine it would feel like how I feel for Yi Jung." Ga Eul said after a long pause. Woo Bin's words hit her hard. Why couldn't she imagine life without Yi Jung in it? Why couldn't her brain muster up the idea of abandoning him when Woo Bin first mentioned Yi Jung mentioned his feelings for her? Her mind getting dizzy, Ga Eul stepped down the ladder, and said "I'm sorry, guys, but I have to go."

"It's okay. Believe us when we say that we're worried about you two." Woo Bin said.

"I know" Ga Eul replied, closing the den door behind her.

Ga Eul walked by herself on the street, wandering in silence, and thinking about Woo Bin's words. How could things get so complicated? Yi Jung became family to her. A life without him could make no sense to her. She wouldn't handle losing him.

She knew about Yi Jung's aversion to love, and it made her sure enough of her decision. She would let him realize his feelings on his own. She hoped that by then, he would be able to accept his feelings. It wasn't separation she was afraid of, but rather Yi Jung's reaction. She knew he would stay by her side one way or the other although that didn't dismiss the fact that a relationship, or mention of one, could change the shape of their friendship forever. She still wasn't sure of their feelings towards each other. Maybe they were mistaking comfort for love. It could be just a fleeting phase of their life, something they would look back on and laugh. Nothing could be worth risking ruining her friendship with him.

Ga Eul realized that Hong Joon was right before. She made it a habit of running away instead dealing with her feelings. Just like she did with Jan Di. Just like she was going to do with Yi Jung.

Ga Eul opened the door to the studio, sure Yi Jung would be there. She had grown so much love for the place. Watching a new piece being put on the shelves, gaining a sense of appreciation for the addition, and wondering why it replaced another that now resided in the storage room. Whenever she asked, Yi Jung would always come up with a new flaw that bothered him about an old piece. His reasonings never came to an end, and Ga Eul came to realize how peculiar Yi Jung's taste was. He was a very particular person who knew what hated and loved. She had grown accustomed to his likes and dislikes with time, but it never ceased to amaze her. Her eyebrows furrowed as she realized that a certain ceramic pot she had grown fond of was Yi Jung's latest victim to the storage room.

"I know you loved it, but its presence irked me." Yi Jung said, his back hunched over clay being shaped into life by his hands.

"What could've possibly been wrong this time?" Ga Eul asked.

"It was too beautiful."

"That's not a reason." Ga Eul argued.

"It had no soul. I got too carried away while making it."

"I thought the whole point of art was beauty."

"Beauty is subjective, but what truly captures onlookers is finding a piece that resonates with their soul." Yi Jung said, his eyes concentrated on his hands rather than Ga Eul sitting opposite him.

"Sometimes I feel I barely know what goes up in your head, and others I can read you like a book. Right now, I relate to the first one." Ga Eul said. Yi Jung only chuckled in response.

"Does that apply to people, too?" Ga Eul asked.

"Depends on which type of people. Just like some of my work, some are incomparable." He replied.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"It doesn't matter whether you have my consent or not. Either way, you're going to ask."

"You don't have to be an ass all the time." Ga Eul scoffed.

"What is it?" Yi Jung asked, annoyed.

"Was she incomparable?" Ga Eul asked. Yi Jung looked over into her eyes, taking a sharp breath, shocked.

"I used to think so. As I grew older, I began to realize that it might've been poor judgment all along. I wouldn't know now." Yi Jung said.

"What was her name?" Ga Eul asked, feigning ignorance.

"Eun Jae."

"How did you two break up?"

"We never..dated to break up. She was a childhood friend. We had always walked the string of more than friendship, but less than lovers until she left without further notice. Leaving me juggling that string all alone." Yi Jung said, clearing her throat.

"Do you still miss her? I mean she was part of your childhood." Ga Eul asked.

"I don't know. To me, Eun Jae's memories are bitter wounds I keep to myself." Yi Jung replied.

"Does she have the rest of the puzzle?"

"Yes, she does." Yi Jung said, coldly. "Eun Jae was much of a dreamer than me. Even if a part of me despised her for leaving, I still think she made the right choice. You are bound to leave messes behind and move on."

"You know that's not true. Maybe you are a little picky, but it's nothing that can't be helped." Ga Eul said, sarcastically.

"I am grateful that I have a friend that doesn't mind picky messes." Yi Jung chuckled, and Ga Eul gave him a smile in return, her heart heavy and wary.