A/N: Hey gang, been a couple of months but I'm back writing a bit. I have another three or four stories for "The Compromise Chronicles", and a few more for "Best Served Cold". Enjoy!
Compromises can be a bit complicated, so sometimes a bit of help is required.
Wade
The three conspirators spoke with uncharacteristically soft voices, late at night, in the far corner of a distant sitting room with the door locked.
"You must finally acknowledge that you are no closer to your goal than you started. In fact, I would surmise you get farther and farther with every passing day. I would hope, dear sister, that you are finally ready to admit what has been obvious for some time."
"I will admit to no such thing!" his antagonist answered angrily, though with less than her customary certainty.
"Admit it or not, it is true. You must agree," he asked staring at the third member of our little group.
Louisa Bingley sighed in frustration, already tired of the game. She did her best to keep her husband either happy or inebriated (which usually went together), and her other sister's screeches to a manageable level, but even she could see that the game was practically lost.
With a sigh, she finally said, "Admit it, Caroline, at the moment you seem to be defeated. Even Miss Eliza seems to be closer to your lofty goal than you are, little though she deserves it."
"I will not…" Caroline began, but then she unaccountably stopped speaking with a face filled with an unaccustomed look of introspection.
She finally looked at the only two people in the world who seemed to be on her side. Her brother could care less if she managed to marry well and had even had the temerity on more than one occasion to suggest she look elsewhere… as if there was another Pemberley within her grasp.
She wondered what they were all doing here in this dark room at her brother-in-law's instigation. Arranging a quiet discussion was the most ambitious action she had ever seen from the indolent man, and she had no idea what it meant.
She sighed and was silent long enough for Hurst to have his say.
"As I said, you are no closer than you were, and you are like the drunk looking for a lost ring under the lamppost instead of where he dropped it because that is where the light is. You keep trying the same things over and over even though they never work. I have only one question for you, dear sister. Are you at long last ready to hear it?"
Caroline eyed him suspiciously but decided to see what he had to say. She nodded.
"Are you planning to keep beating your head against the same wall over and over until you end up an old maid or married to some fifty-year-old gentleman who needs your dowry?"
She seethed in anger, but barely managed to bite back half a dozen scathing retorts before finally saying, "What do you suggest?" She naturally expected nothing from the man who had never accomplished anything at all in the whole course of his life save marrying Louisa for her dowry.
"Now, it seems you are ready to listen. I have but one question for you. How bad do you want to be connected through matrimony to Darcy?"
"So bad I can taste it," she said, once again allowing the night and secrecy of their conversation to lull her into an uncharacteristic bout of honesty.
"Are you willing to do anything to get your heart's desire. Will you go to desperate measures for a familial connection to Darcy."
"Of course!" she snapped.
"Do not say that so lightly," Hurst snapped. "Think fully and carefully of the ramifications. Are you willing to have a husband who despises you just to have a connection to Pemberley? Are you willing to have a husband you may well come to despise yourself? Are you willing to take the chance that even a compromise is insufficient?"
Somewhat to her credit, Caroline thought about it a minute, and said, "I will do anything for a connection to Pemberley. It is all I have ever dreamed of."
"Well then, I imagine I can help you, and I will, if only to get you out of my life long enough for me to sober up and see if my wife and I have any small chance at happiness," Hurst said caustically.
Caroline disregarded the last quip that implied she was the cause of the man's malaise. If he could not keep his own house in order, it was not her problem.
Hurst continued, "I have a plan that will give you the closest connection you could possibly ask. That said, the scheme is rather complicated, and it depends on a certain amount of deception. You will have to trust me implicitly to look after your interests."
"You jest!" Caroline snapped, not the least bit sanguine about the prospect of trusting Gilbert Hurst of all people with her life.
Having expected just that reaction, Hurst smirked and sat letting her stew.
"What do you propose?" Caroline finally asked in desperation.
"I propose, dear sister, that you give me the night of the ball to accomplish your goal. You cannot know the particulars, because to be honest, you are not a good enough liar. You can fool Miss Bennet, but you have not fooled Miss Elizabeth for even a minute since you met her at that assembly. Leave it in my hands for one night. If I cannot get the deed done during that evening, I will admit defeat and let you go back to it."
"What do I do?" she asked.
"Make the ball extraordinary. We need to overwhelm the populace. Other than that, just be your normal sweet self until the moment of decision. But sister…" he said menacingly.
She stared, "… yes."
"We need to strike while the iron is hot. When I tell you to move, you need to do exactly as I say without question."
"Can I trust you!"
"You can trust me implicitly to get you the husband you deserve. You have my word!"
Caroline did not much care for depending on the man, but what choice did she have. She reluctantly thought that if he failed, the blame for anything bad would all be on his head, and she would not be any worse off than she was.
With a slow feral grin, she said, "Let us get to it then!"
Gilbert Hurst nearly rubbed his hands in glee at the opening of the ball. He had married a pleasant, if not particularly bright woman a few years earlier, and had some hopes of happiness… until her sister descended on his newlywedded bliss like the dark cloud of the apocalypse. Now, he thought that in one evening, if all went to plan, he would be effectively rid of her forever. The prospect was almost too good to be true, but it would require careful observation and quick action. As such, he eschewed all alcohol for a full day before the ball, hoping against hope that his consumption could decline precipitously if he managed to accomplish his goals.
The first thing he observed when he started scouting the players and antagonists in his quest was Miss Elizabeth Bennet dancing with quite possibly the worst dancer he had ever seen. He himself had been more skilled at ten years of age, and the only thing saving the young lady from injury was the fact that she had the reflexes of a cat.
Thinking she might be critical to either advancing or thwarting his plans, he asked around. His reputation as a drunk made it easy enough to gather information, although to be fair, simply standing within five yards of Mrs Bennet eliminated much of the need for stealth.
"Oh, Lizzy is dancing with Mr Collins. Would it not be a fine thing to have her married to the heir to the estate. If I could see her well married and settled in Hunsford and Jane in Netherfield, I should want for nothing," Mrs Bennet crowed gleefully, apparently unable to comprehend the look of disgust on the young lady's face.
To be fair, the look of disgust was well disguised by politeness, and most would not notice it, but since he used the same trick with his sister-in-law every day, Hurst found it easy enough to recognize.
"Yes, I am certain that should be a great comfort to you," Lady Lucas said, trying her best to hide her own jealousy and despair.
"I am certain it will be such a comfort to no longer be worried about the entail."
Hurst remembered that Lady Lucas had the sort of daughter that any man with the slightest bit of sense should marry, but since most men were (like himself) dumb enough to go for the Bingley sisters of the world, she seemed perilously close to the shelf.
He had to wonder that Miss Elizabeth had not made a play for Darcy, but then reckoned that she was probably still mad about his boorish comments at that first assembly. A half-hour's eavesdropping confirmed his supposition, and also the fact that Mr Wickham had been pouring poison in her ear.
Hurst naturally recognized Wickham for what he was, having seen far too many of his ilk in the gambling hells he liked to occasionally frequent, but he was certain an innocent lamb like Miss Bennet would have no chance of seeing through such a practiced deceiver.
It was during that dance that he got confirmation of something he had long suspected. Darcy was staring at Miss Elizabeth like a starving dog looking at a haunch of venison, while staring at the parson like he was giving due consideration to murder. Of course, Darcy had much loftier expectations and would no doubt walk away from the enchantress, but it was interesting.
At the end of the dance, he saw Colins introduce himself to Darcy and it was cringeworthy even for a man trained by years of exposure to Caroline Bingley!
He put the matter aside for a moment and went to look for his brother-in-law. He had work to do.
"Bingley," he said nonchalantly when he had his quarry sufficiently isolated.
"Hurst."
"Quite a do. Caroline has outdone herself."
"Outdone her budget, more like," Bingley grumbled, but without any real heat. He was still looking wistfully at Miss Jane Bennet, who was presently across the hall speaking with her mother and not really putting his heart into the conversation.
Hurst did not mind, so long as he managed to get his attention when the time was right. Figuring that his brother's dreamy expression probably was propitious, he began the real work of the evening… or at least part of it.
"Damn fine woman, that Miss Bennet!" he said emphatically.
Bingley startled and gave Hurst his undivided attention, showing a streak of jealousy that Hurst rather enjoyed.
"She is an angel," he stated emphatically.
Hurst understood the double meaning. The first was that she was Bingley's ideal sort of woman, and the second was that she was not to be commented on by the likes of his brother-in-law. Bingley would naturally never say it, but the implication was there.
"Therein lies the question," Hurst said, baiting the hook just so.
"What do you mean?"
"The question that comes to mind all centres on one word, my friend."
"Which is," Bingley asked, finally becoming curious at the unusual conversation. To be honest, any conversation with Hurst that did not involve cards, liquor or sport was unusual by definition.
"I mean," Hurst said with a dramatic pause. "Is she an angel, or is she the angel?"
Bingley startled at the question, which was both well outside the bounds of propriety, and of a subject he had never thought Hurst would care about in the least.
"I believe the latter," Bingley said.
"You think she might be the one?" he pressed.
"I am virtually certain!"
"Well, well, well," Hurst said. "I suppose I should wish you joy."
"Not just yet," Bingley asserted. I try to think like Darcy and with my history, I think I should go to town and give it a few days to think outside of her presence to make certain. I would also need to prepare a proposed marriage settlement and so forth.
Hurst guffawed, "Good luck with that!"
"What do you mean," Bingley asked confusedly.
"I mean, a few minutes ago I thought I was speaking with a man, and now I am back to a boy. Go to town if you must, but at least admit to yourself it will mean you have not the strength of your convictions and you will be giving the lovely lady up.
"You think my horse incapable of returning me."
"I do!"
"Explain yourself," Bingley snapped, becoming agitated and angry, much to Hurst's purpose.
"I mean, that if you leave tomorrow as planned without securing your happiness, you may as well throw it away. Do you want to know what will happen?"
"I am all ears!"
"If you leave, Caroline will follow you. She is reliable as the tides, and she most definitely wants you married to one of her friends—which would be much like cutting your own throat. She will also drag Darcy back, and I doubt he has much good feeling for Miss Bennet himself. He will tell you that she is unsuitable. He will be very persuasive, and he will say she has no dowry, which is probably true, that she has an improper family, also probably true, though no worse than his aunt, and if he must, he will pull out the big guns and convince you she does not care for you and is only marrying you for your money."
"Do you believe that?" Bingley asked angrily.
"It does not matter what I think," Hurst said emphatically, while poking Bingley on the chest just to emphasise his point. "What matters is what you think, but you have never been very strong in standing up to the man. I think you must decide for yourself."
"Decide what?"
"Decide if you are a man or a mouse? Are you capable of making your own decisions and living with the consequences. In other words, are you ready to make your own life on your own terms."
Bingley chewed on it for some minutes.
Hurst waited, and then said, "I want to show you something," then gestured across the room at Caroline and Louisa speaking in the corner, and about a dozen yards away, Miss Bennet speaking with her sister Elizabeth.
"Picture yourself twenty years hence, my friend. The road forks before you and you can choose any path you like. Twenty years hence, which face do you want to be staring at."
At that moment, one of the younger Bennet daughters made a bit of a display of herself. Caroline looked like she had just sucked on a lemon, while Miss Elizabeth said something clever to her sister which made her face light up in a smile and even a gentle laugh.
"Are you ready to choose your path?"
"I am!"
"You are certain?"
"I am!"
"GOOD!" Hurst said, all joviality once again and slapping his erstwhile brother in the back. "I shall assist you."
"How," Bingley asked in some confusion.
"Do you truly believe your sister will go down quietly?"
"I suppose not."
"Do this. You do not want a spectacle, nor do you want to start your engagement by arrogantly assuming the lady will accept you. That might do for Darcy, but not you. I will help you, and you need to speak from the heart. Explain your feelings and quietly ask for her hand. I will ensure you have the privacy to do that, you have my word. Once you have her acceptance, assuming she feels the same, then quietly speak to her father. I will assist you with that as well. Once everything is done and cannot be undone, then you will announce it at supper. It is important—announce it at supper, and not a moment before. Allow me to keep your sister out of your hair that long."
Bingley looked once again like the eager puppy ready to go about his job, and Hurst thought he had done at least one good deed for the night. He hoped it would be enough.
With a grunt to go along with Bingley's nearly howling glee, the two went off to secure his lady love.
Hurst was just getting anxious when Bingley returned from his rendezvous with destiny with Miss Bennet looking like she would light the room afire with her smile. She was obviously deliriously happy such that he thought even her mother's no-doubt vulgar reactions would not dim the lady's countenance in the least.
With Bingley heading to the study with Mr Bennet, with Caroline none the wiser; it seemed safe to conclude things were settled. Bennet was a bit of a curmudgeon, and he would no doubt sport with the boy a bit, but it was definitely a beggars and choosers situation. Permission was virtually guaranteed.
Once Bingley as safely ensconced with his future father-in-law, Hurst started thinking about Darcy. The man certainly still had some reservations about the Bennets, and Hurst thought it would be silly to let him interfere. Of course, once a proposal was offered and accepted, Bingley was honour bound to proceed, but his sister and Darcy could still make what should be an extraordinary evening for Bingley into a nightmare—not to mention that his plans for the evening were only a third complete at best. He still had the connection between Caroline and Darcy to arrange.
With that in mind, he went scanning the walls for the Derbyshire gentleman. Darcy was as reliable as the tides, and Hurst thought it would be child's play to locate him.
Unfortunately, that particular night the tides did not proceed as planned, and he eventually located him rather awkwardly asking Miss Elizabeth to dance. Hurst was astonished, as that was not one of the situations that he had given much consideration to. Darcy kept his feelings close to the vest, but it seemed obvious that he was smitten with Miss Elizabeth, and equally obvious he had talked himself out of it.
Dancing was not expected!
With some time before the dance, Darcy slinked off into a corner, where Hurst approached mildly.
"Dancing with Miss Elizabeth, I see Darcy?"
"As you see," he said with his characteristic brevity.
"Can you satisfy my curiosity?" Hurst asked insouciantly.
"I shall try," Darcy said guardedly, as if discovering a stone-cold-sober Hurst was akin to a bomb or snake in his bed.
"Is this wilful ill-nature, or a voluntary penance?"
"What do you mean?" Darcy snapped, now confused and slightly angry.
"I am curious about your dancing with the lady, that is all. Is it because she has declined thrice by my count, and you are determined she will dance with you to pay for her intransigence, or is there something more at play?"
"Speak plainly, Hurst!" Darcy snapped in apparent exasperation.
"All right, I shall. It seems obvious to me, though nobody else that you are in love with the lady …"
Darcy started to object sputteringly, but Hurst just held up his hand and continued as if he had not been interrupted.
"… but equally obvious that your parents, society, and the matchmaking mamas of the ton have shoved a stick so far up your backside that you would rather walk away from your perfect match than admit you are wrong. You are dancing with her as a penance for your plan to leave tomorrow—unless I am very much mistaken."
Darcy ground his teeth but could not quite master a reply.
It was just as well because Hurst continued. "I collect you will return to town and marry someone like one of Caroline's cronies and be miserable the rest of your life, just because the lady's relatives have as little decorum as your aunt, Lady Catherine. Come to think of it, Lady Matlock is probably no picnic to live with either. The hypocrisy would be astonishing for anyone not familiar with the ton."
Darcy was still sputtering and nearly cursing, but he looked like he was at least thinking for once.
"Take it from me, Darcy—being forever tied to someone like Caroline is a fate worse than death."
Hurst watched in amusement as Darcy went through all the expected emotions from shock to rage to eventually thoughtfulness.
He was slightly surprised when Darcy, quite uncharacteristically slapped him in the back and said, "By Jove, I think you might be right for once, Hurst! I admit getting sense from you seems unnatural, but when you are right you are right."
"So, you think you just might choose happiness over following the dictates of people you despise?"
"I think I might!"
"If you allow me the privilege, I will help you. I believe you have two urgent problems that must be solved NOW, and by that, I suggest before supper."
"What problems?" Darcy asked in puzzlement, and hurst read his thoughts like a book. As far as the man was concerned, he was such a great prize he need only deign to ask, but nothing was quite that simple.
"The first is that man she danced the first with—Mr Collins. He is a simpering sycophantic fool, but also the heir presumptive to Longbourn. He is wife hunting and has drawn a bead on Miss Elizabeth. Without drastic intervention, he will probably propose within days. Miss Elizabeth has shaved a few points off of even your pride, so I imagine she will reject him. Meanwhile, Mrs Bennet will likely insist, and you could toss a coin to decide if her father will try to force her. Think about it. You and Bingley are the only two more or less eligible gentlemen to appear in years. The temptation to do her duty to secure her family will war with her revulsion at marrying an ignorant toad. A smart betting man would not like the odds."
As expected, Darcy grew increasingly agitated as the story went along, and Hurst even saw him glance over at the clergyman with an obvious look of disgust.
Just to twist the knife a bit, Hurst said, "Imagine having her at your aunt's table when you visit in the spring as that man's wife!"
That did the trick, and Hurst thought it likely that just a bit more prodding would have the Master of Pemberley tossing the young lady over his shoulder and making for the border.
He started to move towards the lady, but Hurst laid a restraining hand on his arm.
"Steady on, Darcy. Remember I said there are TWO problems."
Despite his obvious reluctance, Darcy paused to listen. "Get on with it."
"The other problem, which is obvious to every non-mooncalf is that the lady does not think much of you."
"WHAT?" Darcy practically shouted.
"She can barely stand you. Publicly insulting a lady you have never been introduced to is like kicking a puppy. Then your general reticence in general did not help. Beyond that, I believe Wickham has been pouring poison in her ear. An innocent lamb like that has no idea who to believe."
"She believes HIM over ME!" he thundered, and might have just stalked off, and hurst not clamped his hand in his arm nearly as tightly as Caroline did.
"Think about it, man! What reason have you given her to trust you or esteem you. She believes the amiable gentleman over the insulting curmudgeon, and can you rally blame her for thinking for herself? If you want someone who will blindly follow you wherever you go, Caroline is planning to compromise you—tonight! If you want an intelligent wife, I suggest you start treating an intelligent lady like your equal."
Darcy was still worked up, so Hurst added, "Think about it. You and I—we are men of the world. We know what truly bad men are like. She does not, nor should she. If you want the lady's affection, you will have to earn it."
"What do you suggest?"
"You are scheduled to dance with her in a few minutes. Dance the first and talk to her. Show her you are not an ogre. I will hunt down Mr Bennet since he should be about done with Bingley by now. At the break, quietly ask her to join you and her father in the study and make your case. They to have your announcement ready by supper, along with Bingley's."
"Hurst, I am in your debt," Darcy said before heading off to find Miss Elizabeth like a bull charging in. Hurst thought Miss Elizabeth was probably about to get quite a shock.
Hurst watched the couple like a hawk until he was fairly certain Miss Elizabeth would not bite the poor man's head off, then timed his next move with precision.
It was easy enough to get Mr Bennet into position and send Darcy and a very introspective looking Miss Elizabeth toward the study. He even recruited his wife to make sure Caroline was out of the way, although he was not the least bit comprehensive about the plan's objective and progress.
Once things were on track, he approached Caroline.
"Are you ready to be connected closely to Darcy?" he asked carefully.
"Yes, yes, yes… I am ready!"
You are ready to have a husband who despises you just for the connection to Pemberley? You are ready to abandon all honor, morals and decency to further your ambitions?"
"Yes, yes—I have already said so!" she said in exasperation.
"All right, come with me," he said and led her over to the terrace.
Pointing to a dark corner away from the door he said, "Your future husband is hiding in that corner at my instruction. He is unaware of his future husband state and will need to be brought to the point forcefully. Are you certain you are ready?"
"I am ready!"
"All right. You need to be compromised properly. That means you need to grab the man and kiss him within an inch of his life. Tousled hair, red lips, verified grappling, you will have to do all of those. A ripped bodice would not hurt your cause. It must be blatant! I will send Mrs Long in five minutes, so you will have to work fast. Are you certain?"
With a scoff at the man for asking the same question over and over and over, Caroline Bingley tore her carefully prearranged seam in her silk gown and went out to meet her future husband.
The tension at supper was palpable and the guest's curiosity insatiable. Everyone was on tenterhooks waiting for the announcements.
Mr Bennet looked like a man who would milk the attention for all it was worth if he was not being glared at by at least half a dozen people, so he simply stood up and said his piece.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to announce the engagement of my eldest daughter, Jane, to Mr Bingley."
Everyone cheered and clapped. While it seemed obvious that Mr Bingley had been smitten with the lady from the first day, it had also been obvious most of the rest of the Netherfield company was not exactly supportive of the match—or any match in Meryton for that matter.
Once the noise settled down a bit, he also said, "And the announcement of my second daughter, Elizabeth, to Mr Darcy."
That set the cat among the pigeons, since everyone in the area was absolutely certain she despised the man (except the gentleman himself). The applause was a bit shocked, but in the end, everyone liked Miss Elizabeth so it was as hearty as one could ask for.
Mr Bingley, with great reluctance, abandoned his intended momentarily to stand up, and the crowd wondered if he was going to make a speech as well.
"I should also like to announce the engagement of my sister, Caroline, to Mr Wickham."
A collective gasp went up from the crowd and everyone stared at the erstwhile couple in absolute shock. You could have heard a pin drop for what seemed like an hour before Hurst yelled, "Hear, hear!" at which point, the crowd started applauding, though in some confusion, and with far less enthusiasm than with the first two couples.
Miss Lydia Bennet was particularly vituperative in her disapprobation of the match until her mother pointed out that the sister of Mr Darcy could probably have any redcoat she wanted.
The rest of the supper was gregarious and lively with the entire crowd behaving in a very un-Darcy like manner—including the great man himself, who could not seem to stop smiling and laughing. Naturally, the most surprising thing about that was that Miss Elizabeth seemed to be doing the same. One would expect anyone marrying a very rich man to be at least satisfied, but something had changed over the course of the evening. She seemed genuinely happy with her choice of husbands, and equally happy and amused with Miss Bingley's.
Mr Hurst was reflecting on a job well done during the after-dinner entertainment when Caroline found him. He had made himself mostly scarce when she came in from the balcony spitting nails, and he had double-checked the small amount of wine he consumed with dinner for poison. (One cannot be too careful).
She snapped, "You are a liar and a thief! You have stolen my life!"
Hurst had known the altercation was coming. Given how miserable the woman had been making his life for the past few years, he did not feel all that bad about his actions.
"Absolutely not! I delivered exactly what I promised."
"You promised me Pemberley!" she hissed.
He laughed. "You need to learn to pay attention to DETAILS, sister dear. I made our bargain abundantly clear and asked you four separate times if you were in agreement."
"You lie! You told me you would get me Mr Darcy."
"No, I did not. I promised you the closest possible connection to Pemberley. You are now connected to it by marriage, albeit indirectly. Your sister in law's sister will be married to Darcy. That is the closest you could possibly get—exactly as promised!"