Missing Scene for Season 17, Episode 9
The Stolen Moment
It had been a lovely evening, but now, glancing across the car, he sighed, knowing he had to clear the air. She hadn't done anything wrong. Honestly, he hadn't done anything wrong, but the air was heavy, and he knew it needed to be discussed. Why? Why now? Things had been going so nicely. With Lisa's upcoming business trip, Jack had decided to surprise her with a home-cooked meal, a home-cooked meal at Fairfield, so they could spend some time alone together. Sure, it was always nice to eat at the ranch, but there was nothing about dinner at the ranch that was private or at all intimate. With precious little time with his wife as it was, Jack knew they needed a quiet and private evening, well, as much as one in a large family could get.
Since Lisa's admission now some time ago that she really didn't look forward to these business trips anymore and would much prefer a home-cooked meal and her slippers, as she'd told him, Jack had been trying to remember that before she left, for any amount of time. Sure, the weeks away were really hard, but even these short trips were hard for both of them. It seemed as time went on, the heart did grow fonder, so much so, that both were missing the other A LOT when Lisa was gone. Misery loves company, and both had admitted to the other they were starting to get miserable when she was away. Jack wasn't sure how much longer Lisa wanted to keep working like this; he supported her in whatever she decided. She was good at her job and loved it, but she wasn't getting any younger either. What she'd enjoyed doing 20 years ago was now getting to be exhausting, and while unsaid, both knew their time together was on some set, finite schedule, a schedule neither had the access to view.
So, today, Jack had decided to make Lisa a nice meal and had done so by going to Fairfield. He'd made spaghetti sauce, following her recipe, one he really loved, and once he had the sauce simmering and the rest of the meal ready to finish, he'd gone out to the stables in search of her. He'd passed Edwin on the way, who had greeted him for a quick chat, and then he's surprised his lovely wife, working away at her desk. As he recalled the events earlier in the day, he just wished now in the car, they could continue to enjoy the nice afternoon they'd had.
"Well, this is a nice surprise," Lisa had grinned at him when he'd stepped inside her office. She seemed just as excited to see him as he was her, Jack grunting as she almost flung herself into his awaiting embrace.
"The surprise only gets better," he said, kissing her cheek, with a nod outside. "I made dinner for us up at the house. I know you have your business trip in a couple of days, and we needed a nice, quiet dinner, you know, before we have to go to that art show of Jess and Lou's tonight. I'd considered taking you out to dinner, but I knew you'd prefer a home-cooked meal."
"Wow, really?" Lisa's eyes sparkled as she stepped back, her arms gripping his forearms, as she studied him. "That sounds lovely, Jack. Thank you. Gosh, I figured tonight was a leftover sandwich kind of dinner as we ran out the door, so this is really sweet."
"Of course," he told her with a nod. "I have spaghetti sauce simmering and wanted to find out how much longer you might be so I can plan for dinner?"
"Oh," she glanced at her watch and looked back over at her desk. She waved her hand at it, her other still gripping his forearm. "You know what-I'm done working. It can wait. I'm not about to have you walk back up to the house alone and then follow alone in another half hour. It's quitting time, Cowboy. Let's head to the house."
"Sounds perfect," he said, leaning toward her, planting a soft, sweet kiss on her lips. She grinned at him and looped her arm through his, the two waving at a few of Lisa's employees as they walked back to the house. Dinner turned out to be the perfect time to unwind and reconnect after a few busy days. Both enjoyed a glass of wine and then a cup of coffee as they finished with dinner, and soon, Lisa made a face, glancing at her watch."
"As much as I'm enjoying our lovely, quiet evening, we do need to go and make an appearance at the gallery opening."
Jack sighed, nodding, "I know." He looked up at met her gaze, "You realize it's about the last thing I want to do this evening."
"Hmm," she let out a chuckle as she nodded in agreement, scrunching her face, "me too, but it's important to both of them."
"Alright," he sighed, standing and glancing at her. Lisa had her work clothes, black pants, a blouse, and boots. "Are you wearing that? You look lovely," he quickly added before his comment could be considered an insult. "I just want to match your style for the night."
"No," she sighed and continued, "I'll change. I'll just put on a dress. I have some here still, so whatever I have is what I'm wearing. Are you wearing that?" Jack was in his standard, jeans and a striped shirt. He shook his head.
"I put that gray suit jacket and slacks in the truck just in case I was informed I needed to change," he said with a head nod at Lisa, and she laughed quietly. "I'll grab it. Changing clothes is just one of the reasons I don't want to go."
Lisa stood and gathered their plates, "You go, get your suit, and I'll clean up here. We can get changed upstairs and make an appearance. I don't want to be out too late. I have that vet coming early in the morning that I need to speak to about one of my studs."
Jack walked to where she was working at the sink and stood behind her, put his hands on her shoulders. He leaned down by her ear, a warm smile appearing on her face as he did. She always enjoyed this closeness, and it was often a standard embrace for them.
"I remembered you have the vet coming, and since we had to be out late and all, I thought we'd just stay here."
Lisa's smile widened if that was possible, and she glanced over her shoulder, up at him, "Thank you. That sounds great tonight. I've been burning the candle, and I needed a nice dinner with you. I'm not really looking forward to my trip," she made a face again. He leaned in and kissed her cheek again.
"I know. You haven't been sleeping all that well either, all the more reason for a quiet night here. Now," he patted her hips as she stepped away, "I'll get my suit and will get all handsome for you." Lisa chuckled at that and grinned when Jack turned his head, winking at her.
Jack shook his head, snapping back to the present, yet still wishing for that light, enjoyable mood the couple had shared during dinner. It had been such a nice evening, a really nice evening. He glanced over at her in the dark car, Lisa driving her Porsche. He'd relented a lot more recently, to her driving, especially at night. It wasn't that he couldn't drive, but he also knew he wasn't as sharp as he once was, especially at night, and he never wanted to do anything to put them, Lisa especially, in jeopardy. He glanced down toward the center console, Lisa's hand resting softly on it, and he reached over to grip it.
"I'm sorry about that picture," he said quietly, apparently his comment a total surprise to Lisa because she turned her head, giving him a quizzical look before she put her attention back on the road. She returned the grip on his hand, at least Jack knowing she didn't seem upset.
"Why are you sorry?" Lisa glanced his way again. They were almost home, another few miles, and Jack realized he probably should have waited until they were back at Fairfield before saying anything, but he just needed to get this off his chest apparently. He was about to speak again when Lisa continued, "Jack, I'm sorry about that picture. I can't believe the nerve of Jess to not only take that, but to them frame it as one of her signature pieces tonight. She didn't ask you, and that was wrong." Lisa finished her thought with a definite annoyance in her voice, and as the car grew quiet, he heard her let out a loud sigh.
Sidetracked slightly by Lisa's admission, Jack decided to offer his opinion as well, "Jess is not my favorite person. I don't dislike anyone in the family, well," he shrugged his shoulders, "maybe Tim on occasion," he smirked, "but I believe Tim has met his match in someone who is as self-absorbed and pushy as he can be. She doesn't use good judgement."
"No, she doesn't," Lisa added, glancing his way again. "And yes," she nodded, "she does what she wants to do, often regardless of who it hurts or how it's done. She's interested in herself. I can't remember the last time she's spent any time with Lyndy or Katie, and she's married to their grandfather."
"Definitely the opposite of you," he said, picking up her hand and kissing it, smiling at her when she glanced his way. "You've always been there for this family, and even when you have work obligations, you check in and know what everyone is doing and want to be home with us. Even away, you're taking care of others, just like your aunt. You have fulfilled a lot of roles over the years, stepping in as mom while being the best grandmother and great-grandmother. I'm glad you're at my side."
Even with the dark car, Jack could see Lisa give him a very soft, appreciative smile. She gripped his hand tighter before she commented. "Well, I won't argue the part about Jess," she said with a nod at him, "about not really wanting to be part of this family, and maybe that's part of the problem. I know Jess loves being married to Tim, but she sees it as Tim's family, something she's around but doesn't embrace. I've tried to make her feel welcome and include her. I know it can be hard to break into this family, but I appreciate what you said about me. I love this family, our family Jack, have since really the first time I met all of you. I mean, how could you not love all of you, family drama and all?" She squeezed his hand again and chuckled slightly, Jack chuckling too at her comment. The two dropped into silence as Jack glanced out the dark window, noting the familiar scenery. Lisa soon turned off, onto the long driveway to Fairfield, a long driveway, not as long as Heartland, but after all these years, Jack knew it by heart too. He waited until she parked at the garage before he continued. He wanted to get this off his chest before they went inside.
He unbuckled, turning slightly toward her, his hand still holding hers and looked down at them. When he looked up, Lisa was looking at him, expressing some concern through her facial expressions.
"That picture," he started again, looking up at Lisa, meeting her quizzical gaze again, "I was at Lyndy's grave."
"I know," Lisa nodded, quietly, biting her lip. She waited until his eyes met hers, and she gave him a soft, sad smile, squeezing his hand. "I'm guessing Jess took that a few weeks ago, your anniversary, correct?"
He sighed, shaking his head ever so slightly as he glanced over his shoulder out the window. He looked back to see his very patient and observant wife waiting for him to open up.
"I don't know why I expected you not to know. Yeah," he sighed, shaking his head, dropping it slightly. "It was."
"You ride out there every year on your anniversary, her birthday too," Lisa tugged at their joined hands, hoping that would get him to look up at her. He finally did, and she gave him a sympathetic smile. "Jack, it's okay. I know you had a life, a very long, fulfilling life before you ever met me. It would be unfair and completely selfish if I demanded you let go of all that. I know you miss her. I also know you are quiet on those milestone days at home. I do understand. I know you love her and miss her."
"Sometimes," he clarified, stating that very clearly and firmly, his eyes now locking on Lisa's. "I've told you that, sometimes I miss her."
"I know that too," she said with a single shake of her head. "You were married to her for 35 years, Jack. That doesn't just go away. I mean, I was divorced from Dan, and you still just saw what emotions that dragged up. I couldn't even deal well with my ex-husband dying. 35 years with the love of your life doesn't compare to an ex-husband and business partner I wanted to strangle half the time."
He frowned, his head slightly dropped, as he glanced up at her, meeting her gaze again, "I don't like hearing you call her the love of my life, Lise. She was my first love, yes, but you're my last." He paused, waiting for her to look at him, and when she did, he gave her a soft smile. "This isn't some second-best competition. I love you so much, more than I could probably ever express, and I am sorry about the picture because I know it has to hurt you. Yes, that moment was private, and Jess had no right to capture that and even worse, put it on display, but I'm sorry too because it has to bother you on some level, whether you even realize it, and while I can be an insensitive idiot at times, I never, ever want to hurt you, to make you feel second best, or to make you feel like you are anything less significant to me. I don't count years, Lise. I count the deep love, our connection, our devotion to each other. My being at Lyndy's grave has nothing to do with the strength of marriage we have or my love or devotion to you. I need you to know that. I really do."
"You're going to make me cry," Lisa waved at her face and looked away, shaking her head.
"I'm sorry I've never told you when I go up there."
She looked back at him, shaking her head, "You don't have to be sorry, nor do you have to tell me. She was your wife, Jack."
"We also have gone rounds about not keeping things from each other, and I suppose I felt like keeping that from you, even though you are much more perceptive than I give you credit for being," he said with a small smile, "was my way of protecting you. To be honest, I ride up there, pay my respects, and I usually spend the rest of my time just talking to Lyndy, telling her all about the family, a lot about you too, if I'm being honest. She knows a lot about you," he said with a nod to their joined hands.
The two dropped into a comfortable silence in the car, even being back at the house, neither one wanting to make that first move to get out of the car and go inside for the night. Both looked down at their intertwined hands, and finally, Jack cleared his throat.
"I should have told you I was going to her grave all these years."
"No, you don't have to tell me that, Jack. I've never commented because that's between you and Lyndy. It's okay, Jack. I understand. That love doesn't just go away."
"Lisa," he sighed, shaking his head. "I never would have married you had I not been able to fully love you. I do. You know I do."
"I don't doubt that, and I'm not questioning any of this, Jack." She turned slightly too, giving him a small smile with a nod, "It's okay. You're right, that Jess should never have captured that moment. I want to tell her off myself, and it was your moment, but that was private, for no one else to see. Jack, I'm not naïve to know how our story ends. Neither of us want to talk about that, but we are both aware that more than likely, that picture Jess took is me years down the road, visiting you grave, and I just can't grasp the reality of that; I don't want to grasp the reality of that. I'm also aware that it will be so hard to leave you there, your final resting place, with her."
His eyes widened, and he just looked at Lisa, sitting there, with an emotional statement like that, showing no emotion on her face, almost staring blankly toward, but not at him.
"You expect me to just let you grieve I've died while you stand there and watch as I'm buried at Lyndy's grave?" Jack's voice definitely indicated he was a bit frustrated or upset now. Lisa looked at him, confused, shaking her head.
"Well, where else would you be? It's your family graveyard. She was your wife for 35 years. Your daughter is buried there. Yes, Jack, I completely expect that. I hate we are having this conversation, but I guess we are. We've discussed wills, but we've never discussed this. Yes, I expect to bury you by Lyndy and near Marion."
"I have a letter that says otherwise," Jack pursed his lips, glancing back at her.
"What do you mean?" Lisa asked, tilting her head, Jack noting that same almost terror in her voice he'd heard long, long ago when he'd thought he was being chivalrous and had asked for her rings back, in his mind, to put them back on her hand for good, but as she'd told him later, she'd been terrified he was ending their short-lived marriage. That terror in her voice, he heard it now again, in the same phrasing she'd had once then.
He sighed, looking down and shaking his head, "I didn't want to have to discuss this, Lise, because yeah, it's hard, and it's nothing I wanted us to have to worry about, you to worry about. I have a letter all spelled out with my will. It outlines how I want to be buried, where I want to be buried, and," he glanced at her, offering a slight shake of his head, "and with whom I want to be buried."
Lisa shook her head at him, trying to grasp what he was saying, words not coming in the moment.
"I wasn't going to ever have this conversation, Lise. I was just going to let the letter explain it all because well," he sighed loudly, "this isn't something I believe is up for discussion. These are my wishes, and just telling you wouldn't fend off the family drama. I needed something written down so there was no question, no regrets, no arguments or discussion from the rest of the family-my final wishes."
"So," Lisa shook her head, trying to grasp what he was saying, "what? Jack, what are you saying?"
He started to gesture with his free hand, their joined hands still on the console, "I'm saying, what did you expect? Where did you think you'd end up being buried? With Dan?" Jack huffed, grimacing. Lisa's eyes widened, and Jack gestured again. "I mean, Lise, look, this conversation went places I never expected or really wanted to have to go, but when I buried Marion, I put her right there next to Lyndy because I didn't want either to ever be alone there. I know it's just a grave, and I believe their spirits are in Heaven, but still, I put the two there like that, even though I'd scattered Lyndy's ashes, it's the thought, that they are there together so neither is ever alone. I really didn't give a thought about myself then, mostly because it was just too hard to grasp that my daughter had died well before her time too. I've told you I never, ever expected to get remarried, but then," he shook his head, squeezed her hand, and he met her gaze as he smiled softly at her, "this beautiful, confident, successful woman just came floating into my life and changed everything about the future I imagined for my lonely self. Since we are sitting here in this conversation I never expected to have, but did spell out in my letter, yes, I expected to be buried with you. I know you can move on after me, find someone else to love-"
"Just stop, Jack," Lisa closed her eyes and shook her head. "I hate having this conversation, but you're right," she shook her head. "I should know your final wishes and not just after the fact in a letter. To be honest," she frowned and glanced his way, "You ask what I expected, not with Dan," she sighed and shook her head. "I expected that when my time comes, I'd be buried alone, that you'd be buried with Lyndy, in the family cemetery, and if I was still in the good graces with the family, I might too, maybe," she shrugged, "but alone."
"Don't even say that," he sighed, gripping her hand tighter. "You are in this family, not someone they will outcast. You can't be out of people's good graces when you're part of the family, through good and bad with all of them, and I did put my wishes, you with me, in that letter because as I said, Lyndy was my first love, yes, but you are my last. I love you, all the time, until the day I die. I hope you still know that, because I remember telling you that so long ago, that I miss Lyndy sometimes and love you all the time. It's still true, Lisa, and it always will be. That doesn't mean I don't love Lyndy or the life we had, but I'm here with you, loving you now, and that's why I feel badly about that picture being made public and about you having to process the thoughts of me still going to Lyndy. I don't want it to look disrespectful or disloyal to you because it's not that at all."
"I don't know what to say," Lisa said, her voice wavering, and as Jack glanced her way, he saw tears flowing down her face. He reached over to wipe at them, and she turned her head to him. "I love you so much, Jack. You are my world, but I was already prepared to let you go, to let you go back to her then because I was second."
He leaned over, putting his hand around the back of her neck, pulling her slightly toward him so they were much closer, eye to eye, "You were second, not second best, Lise. It's not a contest. When you have to bury me, you leave a space for you. You find the perfect spot for us in that cemetery. That's what I want, but I will also understand if you end up meeting someone else, finding love again, because I want you to be happy. I'll be fine, alone, was before-fine, but not happy like I am with you, but I'll be fine. You go find love again. I would never stand in your way of finding love."
"How could you even say that?" Lisa eyed, him, tears freely flowing. "I don't want to find anyone else. I won't find anyone else. I am not strong like Amy, strong to carry on and someday take off my rings and start dating again. I'd never want that. Jack, there will never ever be anyone else. No one could even compare. I know myself, and I will never, ever move beyond you. You are the love of my life, and I can say that. You remember back, you weren't the only one that came into this relationship who hadn't dated. I hadn't either, nothing more than a dinner here or there with someone, and that's because I had no interest in it. I'd convinced myself being alone was fine with me, and then, yes, I met you. I'd never even entertain the idea of trying again because I couldn't imagine it. What we have is not something I want to even try to replicate ever again. I am so proud of you for taking a chance on me, for loving me, because now that I've been able to love you, I can't even imagine the idea of finding someone else, and I'm so grateful you are stronger than I could ever be and loved me."
The car grew quiet again, Jack glancing at Lisa. He handed her a handkerchief, and he gripped her shoulder, nudging her to look at him.
"I guess you're stuck with me then," he said with a small smile, trying to lighten the mood. Lisa sighed, shaking her head, as she wiped at her tears again. He proceeded to make her smile, "The way I see it, I messed up one stone for you, and I had to try and redeem myself." She looked at him, unsure of what he was saying. He sighed, "I should never have let you go without a stone on the fireplace as long as I did. That was my fault. You deserved one long before you got one, and I wasn't about to mess up this stone too."
Lisa let a sad sob and part laugh escape, shaking her head at him, her eyes filled with tears still. "I can't believe you are trying to make me laugh about this."
"I have to, Lise. We got through that heavy conversation, one I didn't want to have."
"Well, that's nothing new," she said, still sniffling as she gestured with the handkerchief in her hand. "Reminds me of not wanting to tell the girls we got married. You avoided that too. I was just supposed to hear about all of this after something happened to you? What if I'd not seen this letter you have until it was too late?"
"I told you," he grumbled, frowning at her. "Maybe I didn't think it through, just like the other event you mentioned, not quite thinking through our wedding announcement. I mean," he made eye contact with her, "If you go first, I'm saddled with your ridiculous horse breeding operation. I figure if I can take on that task, you can handle dealing with the girls about my wishes to be buried with you."
She shook her head, letting a small laugh escape as he mentioned her business. She glanced at him and shook her head again, "I still don't think it's right, Jack. I won't be upset."
"Good," he pulled her hand to kiss it, "because I made my decision. I don't care who is upset, at least besides you. I don't want to leave you upset. I don't want to leave you alone, and I'm not going to do either. You're stuck with me. Come here," he gestures at her, pulling her toward him.
She griped his shoulders as she clung tightly to him, all of it a bit awkward over the car's center console. She sighed and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. "I didn't want to talk about this and thought about just avoiding this and going into the house."
"Why'd you stay?" Jack asked.
"I don't know," she said, her voice wavering. "I want to be upset with you for what you've decided because I know you still love Lyndy."
"Don't you dare, for a second, think that I don't love you or that as I've said, that there is some ranking order here, Lise. There's not. I love you, and I'm not comparing how long we've been married or anything else. Besides, I couldn't give Dan Hartfield that win."
"I wouldn't ever be buried with Dan," she pulled back, making a face at him. "Please tell me you know that. I told you I'd be fine alone. I will be fine alone because there's no one else but you."
He kissed her softly, his eyes locking hers, moving his hands to grip her face. He met her gaze then, "I'm sorry. I wasn't serious I thought you'd ever be buried with Dan, but know I am serious about my final resting place being next to you. It will be all I know, have known for the last however many years we end up having together, me being with you."
"Okay," she said quietly, dropping her head as she nodded. She reached up and put her hand over his, eventually looking up at him. Her expression changed into that of a somewhat mischievous one, and he nodded at her.
"Why are you grinning now?"
She couldn't help but let a laugh escape as she looked down and shook her head before explaining, "I can't believe you would think I'd date someone else again. Let us both remember how well online dating went for each of us. We couldn't even do that without being each other's match, all our differences and different worlds and all. There you were, showing up as my match, so no, Jack," she looked up at him and offered a sad smile, "there won't be anyone else. I will have absolutely no desire for that, and I'll be happy around the family until my end comes too."
"I'm sorry we had to have this conversation," he said quietly, his eyes searching hers. "We'd had such a nice evening and leave it to the likes of Tim Fleming to ruin it."
Lisa let another laugh escape as Jack kissed her, surprising her with that. She shook her head, "For once, Tim had nothing to do with this."
"Except he married her," Jack grunted. "I hate that it bothers me so much about that picture."
"Well, what are you going to do about it? Do you want me to talk to Jess? I'll do that for you. You know I will. I'll get her to take it down."
"It's not your battle to fight, Lise."
"Jack," she said with a frown, "it is. It's something that bothers you, so it bothers me. I agree it was completely inappropriate, and I'll be glad to have her see why."
"I'm not sure I want to get into the importance of it with her. It was hard enough telling you. Really," he frowned, "telling you was tearing me up. I do love you always. Don't you doubt that, even if I ride up to the cemetery."
"And I don't want you to stop visiting Lyndy," Lisa nodded at him, her eyes locking on his. "I mean it. I never asked you or expected you to wipe her away. We both know she'd been part of many conversations we've had over the years, and I'm more than okay with that."
"Thank you for being so lovely," Jack said, kissing her sweetly again. He ran his hand over the side of her head, brushing her hair back. "Can we go inside now? I'm sorry our lovely evening took such a turn."
"We can definitely go inside, and I suppose this was the best place for a conversation like this. We never would have gotten through this at Heartland. Come on," she patted his hand and gestured, opening her door. "Let's put this evening to rest."
Both got out of the car, Lisa waiting for Jack to walk around the car, extending her hand for him to join hands with her. They walked side by side up to the front door, Lisa leaning her head on Jack's arm. He fumbled in his pocket for his keys, and before they went inside, he turned and gripped her shoulders.
"You're okay?"
"Yeah," she sighed. "I love you."
"I know," he winked. "I kinda guessed that." She let a laugh escape as she turned and bumped up against his shoulder.
"You just have this wish to really rock the boat from the grave, huh Cowboy?" She gave him a teasing smile now, both of them still trying to mentally reset from their heavy conversation.
"You thought Lou was bad when we didn't tell her about our wedding," Jack squeezed her arm. "Glad I won't be there to see that, you having to tell her the plans."
"Oh goodness," Lisa dropped her head in defeat. She looked back up at Jack, her face in a grimace, "I might just leave you all alone after dealing with all of them and that. That's really going to be a mess, but," she tried to put on her brave face as she gave him a sad smile, "we're not going to discuss this any more. We're both sticking around together for a very long time."
He pulled her to his side, gestured for her to walk into the house, and he kissed her head before she did, "Couldn't agree more. I don't need a horse breeding operation, and you don't need the wrath of Lou. Now, what I do need is to go to sleep with you by my side, to enjoy that tonight, because you do have to leave for a few days. I'll miss you terribly while you are gone, and when you get back, maybe we'll have to do another one of these quiet date nights here at the house."
"Just a better topic of conversation, please," Lisa nodded. She turned and tugged at his hand, pulling him toward the house. As Jack stepped inside, she stopped, put her hands up around his shoulders, and she pulled tightly to him, their limited, precious time together, even with difficult conversations, hitting her.
"I love you, Lise," Jack said before she could voice anything. Finally, she quietly answered.
"I love you more."