Thank you for all your comments!! I love them! And as requested, here is part 2!
Olivia didn't panic until she parked in front of Elliot's place. What the hell am I doing? Damn Amanda, making her feel all confident and happy. It wasn't too late. He didn't know she was here yet. She could just leave. But, then she wouldn't ever know. She would never know what would happen if she just gave him a chance.
She turned off the ignition and took a minute to breathe. No risk no reward. She could do this. Maybe. Ugh. She just needed to get out of the damn car. She took another deep breath and pushed the car door open. She was there and she was doing this.
She knocked on his door, thinking she should have called or texted first. She didn't text because she wanted the option to wimp out, but now she worried he might not even be there. Most people didn't willingly answer their doors at 2 am.
She knocked firmly, not too loud. She swore she heard another voice in there. A woman's voice. "Shit." Maybe she could get out of here without anyone noticing. She heard the deadbolt click, Too late. No way out now. Damn it.
The door swung open to reveal a very awake Elliot Stabler.
She couldn't breathe. She leaned against the door frame, suddenly exhausted. "Hey," she said lamely.
"Hey," he returned with a smile.
The stood there for a moment just staring at each other. Daring the other to make a move. Just then a voice called from his kitchen, "Who's at your door at two in the morning Stabler?" Sergeant Bell walked around the corner and into the hallway, nearly freezing at the sight of Olivia leaning against the door frame. "Umm," she began awkwardly, "I think I'll go.." she reached for her purse that hung near the door.
"Oh no, you can stay…" This could be her excuse to back out of this.
Ayanna waved her off, "No really. I gotta get home." Her eyes grabbed Elliot's, "Call me tomorrow?"
Elliot nodded and Ayanna slipped out the door past Olivia. "Bye Liv!" she called over her shoulder.
Elliot tilted his head towards his apartment, "Come in?" He asked.
"Yeah," she answered meekly.
She followed him further into his apartment, meeting him in the kitchen.
"Want a drink?"
"Yeah. Water?" Her throat was so dry. She wasn't sure she could do this.
He opened his fridge and grabbed a water bottle then slid it across the island to her. "Thanks," she gave him a tentative smile.
The air felt thick around them, and one of them needed to say something. Her brain didn't seem like it wanted to work right now, so it fell to him.
He rubbed his hand across the back of his neck, "Look Liv," he started, "I'm sorry, I…" the apology tapered off.
"El." She sighed, "I can't have my soap opera life play out in front of all the brass." She pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to figure out what she felt right now. Anger? Anxiety? Exhaustion? Probably all of it.
"I get that, but…" He came around the island to sit at the barstool next to her. His proximity made her heart pound, and she knew it was probably better to have this conversation with a little space between them, but she felt stuck. "I need to know something," he met her gaze, "Why will you date literally everyone but me?"
"Elliot, I.." she didn't know how to answer.
"No Liv, seriously. If I asked you to go to this thing tonight would you have gone with me?" His eyes were serious. "Do I need to answer for you? Based on previous experience, I'm pretty sure you would have shot me down."
She hated it, but he was right. Anytime he took a step towards her she shot him down. Again and again. "It's more complicated than that," she focused on her hands.
"Is it though?" She heard the all too familiar anger rising in his voice. "Do you want me or not Liv? It's pretty simple."
"It's not simple for me El." She felt her own tone begin to bite, and she knew this conversation was beginning to escalate.
Elliot pushed the barstool back and stood up to walk away.
Her own anger rose as she watched him turn away from her, give up on her, not fight for her.
She shook her head and muttered, "Just walk away. You're good at that." She winced at her own words, fully knowing she was baiting him. Maybe she needed to see that fire in his eyes. Maybe she needed him to get angry instead of constantly reining in his own feelings. She wanted Elliot. The Elliot she knew before. The Elliot who would challenge her, butt heads with her and eventually find a solution with her. She needed that Elliot.
Maybe it was the late hour, maybe she poked him in a sore spot, but either way she got a reaction. He turned and she saw that fire, the temper, the Elliot who fought for what he wanted. "Are you ever going to let that go, or are we never getting past it? I can't change it! If i could I would, but you are punishing me over and over for it, and I have no idea how to get us past this!"
He was back in her space, and she matched his ire, "TEN YEARS ELLIOT! Ten F-ing years! That's not nothing! It's not something you just 'get over'. She stood from her barstool and pushed past him.
He caught her arm, and she spun back towards him, but dropped her arm once she faced him. "I know how long I was gone! Do you think I was happy without you? Do you think I don't have immense guilt over the things I missed," He choked back a little emotion, "The things I didn't protect you from!?" He strode over to the couch, and sat aggressively. "Every time we fight, everytime we disagree, it comes back to this." He dropped his head in his hands, "Everytime I see you, I'm reminded of the worst decision I ever made."
She quietly came and sat next to him. Her anger melted at his obvious remorse. Maybe they needed to have this yelling match a long time ago. "Elliot," she said gently. She reached for his elbow but he recoiled slightly. She dropped her hand.
"I don't want anyone else but you." He lifted his head to look at her, and she felt her heart pounding. "I can wait as long as you need me to. I want you to be ready, but I need to know if I even have a shot here." His eyes held hers, and she felt frozen under his gaze. "I just need to know what you want. I'm fine waiting in the wings, but I need to know what to expect here." He nervously reached for her hand. "I won't ever move on. I know that. You are it for me Liv. I know I will never love anyone as much as I love you." He shook his head in mild frustration, "I can't watch you date other people, and stand on the sidelines without throwing my hat in the ring." His fingers tangled with hers, "If you want me to get lost, leave you alone, or whatever just tell me, but I want you to know that nothing," his eyes filled with a fiery intensity, not the angry intensity, rather something that looked like passion, "nothing will change how I feel about you."
She didn't notice the tears until he brushed them away from her face. He left his hand on her cheek and she gripped his wrist. She closed her eyes while she attempted to process everything he said. Then Amanda's voice echoed in her head, "Choose joy."
She opened her eyes and he met her gaze. Time to dive in. She let out a nervous breath and said, "I want you," she whispered.
"Yeah?" She nearly cried at the happiness on his face.
She gave him a peaceful smile, "Yeah."
He pulled her face to his, resting his forehead against hers. His thumb passed over her lips, and she closed her eyes, savoring the sensation. His lips brushed against hers, a whisper of a touch, testing the waters. She returned his kiss, encouraging him onward. The lip play began slow but quickly escalated. The 20 year old emotional dam burst removing any inhibition either of them still had. The fear and anxiety that once held her captive melted away, replaced with a passionate desire she never before felt.
His lips were insistent on hers, asking, begging for more and she happily acquiesced. Her lips parted, seemingly giving him permission to deepen this already perfect kiss. He threaded his fingers through her hair, pressing her into him. He leaned back, pulling her on top of him while his tongue found hers.. His hands started to wander, and she felt his free hand wander towards her ass. She kissed him harder as both his hands pawed at the zipper of her dress. She pulled back grinning. His confused expression was adorable. She rolled off of him and stood, turning her back towards him. She brushed her hair out of the way to better expose her zipper. "If you insist on reaching my zipper, try not to ruin my dress."
He scrambled up and placed a hand on her shoulder before placing a kiss to the back of her neck. Her breath caught as he gently pulled the zipper down, exposing her back to the cool air. He ran his fingers down the length of her spine causing a row of goosebumps. She turned towards him, holding her dress up at the front. She grinned as she backed towards his bedroom, and he willingly trailed behind her.
-000-
Olivia awoke to the sun streaming in through Elliot's bedroom window. Her cheek laid on her chest. She savored the warmth of his skin against hers, while she softly trailed her fingers across the planes of his chest. He started to stir, and met her eyes with that goofy smile, the one he saves for her. His hand brushed her wild hair out of her face, and she pulled that same hand to her lips, kissing his palm. "How are you this morning?" She knew he worried she would freak out and bolt. To be fair, she had done that a million times. His eyes found hers, looking deep and serious, "No regrets?"
She lifted her head and placed a lingering kiss on his lips, "No regrets." She snuggled back into him and closed her eyes in contentment. Then she popped up suddenly, "I need to call Amanda!"
He laughed, "Why in the world would you need to call her now?"
"I promised I'd call her this morning, I might have dropped by her house last night before coming here." She smiled sheepishly.
He leaned in and pressed a kiss on her temple. "Remind me to send her a thank you card."
She laughed, "I don't think she'll need a thank you card, but she'll kill me if I don't tell her I fell into bed with a certain overprotective detective I know."
"Hmm," he placed a kiss behind her ear and down her neck. "Think she could wait a little bit?" His lips found their way to her collarbone. She suddenly couldn't remember what they were talking about.
He planted a row of kisses down her bare shoulder. "Mmm, she can definitely wait."