He stood way too close to her during the briefing. God, he's doing this on purpose, she thought. His arm brushed hers and she did everything she could to focus on the presented information and not the man invading her space. Problem was, whenever he was this close her heart pounded mercilessly and she couldn't breathe.

He wouldn't look at her so she couldn't give him a glare. She worked hard to maintain respect at work, and that could effectively go out the window if a certain detective kept pawing at her.

"Elliot," she muttered under her breath, trying to keep her voice low so others wouldn't hear.

"Hmm." He responded, still keeping his eyes on the presenter.

"Move," she nearly begged.

"Why? We are friends, hanging out during a work meeting." He kept his eyes forward, but it didn't keep a smirk from developing on his face. "You're the one making this uncomfortable," he breathed.

She didn't care if he was looking at her or not. She gave him a glare anyway. She stepped away and gave him a look, daring him to follow her. Thankfully he stayed where he was while she found a more comfortable position in the room by Fin and Bruno.

Apparently Fin couldn't help making a snarky comment, "Gettin' a little heated over there?" He asked cheekily.

Bruno's eyes widened, but to his credit, he kept facing the presenting sergeant.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," she replied.

"Yeah sure. We'll go with that," he muttered, and turned his attention back to the briefing.

Just then her phone buzzed and she glanced down to see a text. She half expected it to be from Elliot but she was surprised to see it was from Trevor Langan.

T: Busy?

She hadn't heard from him I'm ages, so she wondered what he needed.

O: I'm in a briefing right now, but it should be done soon. What do you need?

He texted back.

T: Can I bring you lunch? I have a couple work related stuff to run by you.

She smiled at his clear statement of intentions. They had flirted with the idea of something more on and off over the years, but then Elliot came back and blew up her life.

O:Sounds perfect. See you in like a half hour?

He replied.

T: I'll be there.

-000-

Elliot tried not to feel miffed when Olivia retreated to the other side of the room during the meeting. He knew how tight her boundaries were at work, but it was impossible not to stand close to her whenever he could.

Every time he saw her the words 'I want to' echoed through his mind, and it left him breathless. He told her he'd give her time, but the question was, how much time did she need? What was he supposed to do in the meantime? She hadn't really been clear on what she wanted him to do, so he felt caught in a weird ambiguous place with no idea where he stood.

The meeting concluded and his eyes followed her to her office. He resisted the urge to follow her in, knowing he had no professional reason to talk to her at the moment. She valued discretion in relationships as long as he knew her, and he needed to allow her that space if he wanted any chance of this working.

As he scanned the room for Sergeant Bell, wanting to go over their plan for their involvement in the case, he noticed a familiar face making his way towards Liv's office. Was that Trevor Langan? What the hell was he doing here?

He was so focused on Liv's office he did hear Ayanna approach him. "Who's that," she asked, effectively pulling him from his dangerous thought spiral.

"Trevor Langan," Elliot said flatly. He felt himself unconsciously tense when Olivia gave Langan a lingering hug.

He could feel Ayanna's eyes studying his reaction while he tried to keep his face neutral. He was doing a shitty job at it.

"Is there history there or something?" He wanted to yank his eyes away and casually talk to Ayanna, but he stayed transfixed on Olivia's demeanor while she ate lunch with this man.

"I don't know. I was gone for ten years, remember," he grumbled as he began to realize how much he didn't know about her during his absent decade.

Ayanna picked up on the guilt and jealous spiral he was floundering in. "Well," she said slowly, "want to get lunch on the way back to work?" He could tell she was desperately pleading for him to not make a scene when she added, "I'll pay?"

He felt his hands clenching and unclenching as he tried to talk himself down. Just then Olivia's eyes wandered to her office window. Her brown eyes inadvertently caught his. She tried to look nonchalant but he could read through her well practiced front. He saw a little of what looked like guilt.

He immediately turned away,"Yeah, let's go." He gruffly said to Bell.

-000-

Lunch with Trevor went well. Their relationship was an easy friendship, safe from the emotional turmoil Elliot always seemed to elicit.

Even with a nice drama free lunch, she wasn't able to get Elliot's heartbroken face out of her head, Trevor was just a friend, but there wasn't any way Elliot would know that. Part of her felt frustrated. While the promise of a potential relationship sat in the forefront of both their minds, there was no commitment.

Still, she felt guilty. She effectively brushed Elliot off earlier, and then had lunch with another man. Of course he would be hurt, and knowing Elliot, he was also filled with jealousy. After a lot of back and forth she texted Elliot.

Sorry we didn't get to talk much earlier. Lunch tomorrow so we can catch up?

No response. That in itself was concerning. He'd all but begged to have lunch with her over the last month, but she continued to put him off.

Hoping he was just busy at work she waited another hour before trying again.

Want to have dinner with me and Noah tonight?

She'd never know Elliot to retreat from anything, especially her. This wasn't good and she knew it. Work ticked by slowly. She contemplated texting him again but after two unanswered messages she knew he wasn't planning on responding to her today. Problem was, she might have inadvertently triggered a month long silence. She texted Amanda.

O: Why is this so hard?

A: Do you want the honest answer or the comforting answer?

O: I'm not sure.

A: What happened with Elliot?

O: I was being…me I guess

A: That's not really specific

O: More of the usual. Pushed him away for no reason.

A: How's he taking it this time?

O: I'm assuming not great since he's not responding to my texts

A: Shit.

O: I know

-000-

Olivia busied herself, but she couldn't stop worrying about Elliot. She sighed and resorted to texting sergeant Bell.

O: He's ignoring me. What am I dealing with?

B: I'm not sure. He's being weird.

O: Weird how?

B: We went to lunch and he seemed fine. Now he's working at his desk and doesn't seem bothered.

O: Shit.

B: Yeah

-000-

Elliot tried to keep it all together. He felt tired. Tired of begging her to give him a chance. Tired of begging for forgiveness. Tired of constantly being turned down only to have her say yes to other people. He was just tired.

Olivia texted him twice, but he wasn't ready to respond. He knew she only reached out because she felt bad about what happened earlier, not because she was any more ready for this than she was a month ago.

He gave Ayanna a quick wave before he headed for home. He ignored the obvious look of concern on her face.

Once he got home he tossed his keys on to the counter and made his way to his bedroom. He dug out some exercise appropriate clothing while he decided what outlet he needed today. He could hit a bag for a while or run it out.

He felt more hopeless than angry so he prepared for a run. As he tied his shoes there was a knock at the door. He knew who was there before he opened the door. He hated how his heart pounded. He hated that he had no control over how he reacted to her.

He let out a long breath before opening the door, not sure he wanted to talk to anyone right now. As expected Olivia stood at his front door, looking perfect, and making his heart race.

I forgot to tell you all that there will be a second part to this. It got a little long so I split it up. I should finish it tonight and have it posted tomorrow! :)