Yows! I know I don't write too much author's note here, but I just wanna let y'all know that I have a discord server up and running now! /ZFP6rRXKjN
Feel free to drop by and say hello! I will also post updates and other stuff there, so if ya wanna be in the loop of things, it be an easier way to stay on the know!
In any case, thank you for all the support this story have been getting so far! It makes writing all the more easier when there are others who share the same kinds of stories that I enjoy :D
Over a month had long pass by for the people of Liyue. Gone were the festive atmosphere of the Lantern Rite and the commemoration of a new year, and in comes the time for nature to bloom back to life alongside the hustle and bustle of Liyue Harbour.
Spring became the signal for merchants to return to their usual schedules of scurrying around the various towns awaiting their goods, now that the weather had begun to turn much warmer for them to endure a long day out of the confines of their home.
Though for Keqing, it simply marked another hollow day.
For it's been a month since she's last heard of anything from the man who couldn't quite leave her mind and heart alone.
Their goodbye hadn't exactly been anything too special. The day the two adventurers decided to depart to Sumeru, she had led them towards the cavern connection that the Chasm has with the land of Wisdom. A sweet kiss and a short hug later, they were off without further trouble.
Sumeru's not exactly far from Liyue, and we've also managed to retain a healthy line of communication with their governing body. So, if anything goes wrong, it would be a lot easier to find information in regards to your whereabouts.
Oh, how she wanted to take those words back from the past and throw them off a cliff.
What she had said before he left hadn't exactly been false. They had been maintaining decent contact with the Akademiya, and communication between the two parties have been in a much better state compared to the one they had with Inazuma, which had been non-existent.
In fact, in that very day, she had just finished up discussing a trade deal with their merchant guild. Regarding the trade routes that they had going through the Chasm.
There was nothing that could've helped her predict their radio silence to come in the following week. A week that soon enough, turned to over a month.
If she had a choice, she would've long gone taken the trip to check up on him. There was no message left in the teapot. Tubby hadn't had a sight of him for roughly the same amount of time as she had, and their bedroom hadn't looked any different from the time she went to bed, up to the time where she had woken up.
Wayward thoughts of loneliness began to tiptoe its way towards her longing soul.
But regardless, she tried to persevere. Her pride and work ethic would not allow her to let such a thing be a distraction anymore. If her work required the full attention of her mind, then her worries for him will be swiftly stowed away into the nether reaches of her thoughts.
That being said, it only amplified her concerns by the tenfold, whenever she had time to think to herself.
Which led to times such as now, where she could do nothing but hover her fountain pen over an empty piece of scripture. The blank surface of the paper an exact mirror of how her thoughts had felt like for the past couple of hours. Whatever it is that she had planned to write had been long forgotten to the wave of concerns that rushed back through to her mind.
It was excruciating to an extent. Work had long been the one escape she could always rely on to evade the haunts of her mind. When even that had failed, it felt like her heart was finally cornered into a dead end.
The urge to just get off her chair and find a way to immediately transport herself to Sumeru grew incredibly unbearable. Her senses numbed, everything within her cone of vision began blurred with unfocused tears, and her mind could only think of one thing.
Is he alright?
Her senses had been so unaware of her surroundings, that she didn't even notice the light thuds of footsteps on her wooden floors. One that inched from entrance of her balcony, before it finally made its way behind her.
It was that strong, yet gentle grip that held her from behind that finally snapped her back into reality.
The touch, though sudden, hadn't caused her to jolt away.
His voice soft on her ears, his breath tickled its tip, the distance between them almost non-existent.
"Hey…"
With a tsunami of a relief, she sighed out. Her body relaxes as she leans into his touch. The worries of her mind evaporating in an instant while his arms around her shoulders tightened ever-so slightly.
"Hey…" Of course, just because he had timed his appearance appropriately, doesn't mean that she was going to let him off the hook that easily, "You sound quite nonchalant for someone who I haven't heard a word from for a month."
Still facing away from him, she could feel the light smile forming on his lips, "Sorry, I was calling out to you from the balcony to see if the coast was clear." He reasoned, his tone growing rhetoric, "Your eyes were miles away from Liyue, you know?"
"Uhuh…" Lightly tightening her grip on his hands, "And who's fault is that?"
She could feel him sag deeper into the hold her had on her, "I'm sorry. I swear, I have a good explanation." Nuzzling her temple, his voice shook in such a miniscule degree that she would've missed it had he not been that close, "But can we stay like this for just a little longer?"
It dawned on her that he had needed her touch as much as she had needed his.
In a flash, she loosened his grip and stood to turn and face him. Gently shuffling him past her chair, and letting him settle between her legs as she pulled him back into her hold.
This time, he leant more of his weight to the embrace. His hands roaming around her back, desperate to find a firm grasp of her body, only relaxing when they finally found its rightful place on her waist and shoulder.
"Take your time…" She whispered softly, "I'm not going anywhere."
When he snuggled closer, her hands absentmindedly trailed through his golden locks. His hair had been far more dishevelled, and where her fingers can normally glide through without effort, she found herself stopping at some knots to avoid accidentally hurting him. Even as an adventurer, she knew that he had taken care of his self to a degree where personal hygiene is not something he liked to ignore.
Whatever it is that made him needing time, it clearly made him ignore himself.
She held his body flush to hers. The thrumming of his heartbeat initially outpacing that of her own, before her touch finally brought it down to a level that levelled with the calmness of her feelings.
Finally, his voice returned to his body. A whisper that had been as fragile as the state of his heart.
"Can I just ask you something?"
She simply hummed in affirmative.
"You're-, Uuhh… You're healthy, right?" He almost timidly asked, clearly hesitating about the things that he wanted to ask, "You're not… hiding some sort of terminal disease, or something like that?"
Though she didn't want to, she needed to take a bit of distance to look him in the eye, "…I don't understand-,"
"I know… it's a weird question to ask all of a sudden, I'm sorry-,"
The moment the unease returned to his voice, she knew that she handled her answer terribly, and pulled him back into her embrace.
"No, no, I'm sorry… I'll ask the questions later." She felt his heartbeat rising again, this time her hand went back to caressing his hair, "I'm fine. I won't hide such a thing from you. Apart from feeling queasy because of some concerns, I'm thankfully healthy."
A chuckle from him had been quite refreshing to hear, "Right. I'll take responsibility for that." Another sigh vented out of him. This time, he laxed even further, "But, that's good… I was just… worried."
Like she said before, she wouldn't ask. It's not the time. Whatever answer she'd be trying to force out of him now, would only serve to further complicate the matter down the line.
For now, she felt content just having him back there in her arms.
But, she'd be lying if the position that they were in is an ideal one for the stamina of her back.
Gingerly as she was, she patted his head to get his attention.
"Do you mind if we move to the couch?" She asked. Voice croaking in the slightest as she felt the strain in her back exacerbated by the light movements she was attempting to make, "My back's honestly starting to give up."
With a soft nod, she made the move to get off the desk and lead him to the couch.
After a quick run out to notify Huixin that she wasn't accepting any other guests or impromptu meetings, she locked her office doors out and went back to the man waiting on her couch – who merely had a blank stare as it trailed out of the window.
Her heart ached at the sight of him.
Wasting no more time, she shifted him to lay upright on the couch. Settling herself on his lap before he automatically rounded his arms around her waist. Her back laid flush to his chest while she once again waited for his mind to catch up with his wayward soul.
His breathing had been far more relaxed, his chest had no longer been heaving like it did before. His idle nuzzling of her hair had also been a welcomed return of his habits.
Before he took a sharp intake of air.
"How would you feel… If you were to watch someone slowly have their dreams be dragged away from the reach of their lives?"
Well, that's quite the heavy question to start things off with.
"I'm not sure…" She tentatively replied. Searching her mind for the right words to say, "It would definitely leave a depressing mark inside."
Met with nothing but silence, she looked up get a better look of his eyes once more.
And the sadness that she saw within, struck her heart to a degree that she hadn't felt ever since he last opened his floodgates for her to see.
"Hey…" her hand went up hold him close, but he had grabbed midway and instead began peppering it with light kisses.
"Do you mind if I tell you a long story?"
What kind of a person would she be if she were to refuse?
With a nod of her own, he began to regale a tale with a voice thicker than blood.
The tale of a young woman who had one, and only one dream.
To watch a performance in a festival that held a dear spot in her heart.
Yet, fate in itself seemed to have deigned that she does not have much time to venture into the world. An illness that has plagued many, now crawling upon the visages of her skin.
As such, she took it upon herself to go against destiny. Rallying against anyone and everything that had attempted to stop her from witnessing her dream to come into fruition.
And for a glance, the gods seemed to have been kind enough to shine a ray of hope into her efforts of going past all her obstacles.
The stage was set, the performers were ready. The festival had been buzzing with the people who had longed to see it flourish in its entirety.
But little did she know, that the gods do not smile upon those who attempted to go against what fate and time had deigned them to undertake.
Fate told time to cease operating. The world came to a standstill, but the people carried on with their lives. Unaware of the fact that life had been nothing but the repeat of the day the festival was supposed to light up the lives of those searching for its entertainment.
Time told fate to intervene all the same. The day ends with nothing but the festival being torn away from the hopes of those who had waited for it to breathe colour into their lives.
The days turned to weeks, which soon turned the month passing their lives.
A month that was enough to finally let destiny catch up to the efforts of the heroine.
No one noticed as her spirit dwindled with her energy. No one noticed that the repeating days had taken a toll on her being. No one noticed the sorrow in her eyes that attempted to shout her pain into the world.
No one noticed, even as her soul finally dissipated from the world.
By the time he finished his tale, his head had laid slump on her shoulder. The story seemingly sucking his own energy to even remain upright on the couch.
Keqing couldn't quite believe the experiences of the story.
It certainly did explain the radio silence that came about between their nation and Liyue.
But above all that, Keqing could only ponder on a single question.
How can the Akademiya be so cruel to their own people?
"Did she…"
"Thankfully, no. I met someone who miraculously managed to salvage her soul." Aether assured her that the real-life counterpart of the story's heroine remained in the world, "But, it's not a long-term solution. There's no telling if her condition would ever be anything better than barely stable."
To be entrusted to guide and protect the people of your nation is a responsibility unlike any other. Keqing herself could attest to that. The mere fact that someone had the nerves to tamper with such a sacred trust to garner personal glory for no one but their selves, angers her to no end.
But, more than anything else; the fact that the cruelty of their actions had pushed the man she had held dearly in her heart to the verge of tears had been nothing short of unforgivable.
"Please, let me help-,"
Aether clutched her close, "No. It's way too reckless for us to make a move without knowing what they plan to do next."
"So, we just do nothing? Even when they've trapped you in a what essentially was a month in purgatory?" She questioned, tilting his head to face her, "You expect me to sit here and do nothing, all while they've clearly caused an insurmountable amount of pain to the man that I love?"
This time, he clutched her closer. Burying his features deeper into the crook of her neck.
"I'm doing this because I love you too much to risk you getting involved in all this."
Just like that, all the fight within her evaporated.
Feeling that she was allowing him to explain, Aether got a hold of her hand, "These Sages… They are incredibly ruthless people." She could feel him shudder at the thought of those individuals, "The fact that they were willing to use their own people as unwilling guinea pigs to an experiment that does nothing for the betterment of their nation, scares me to no end."
Because if they were willing to do such a thing to their own people.
What would they be willing to do to those who had no connection to Sumeru in the first place?
Would that mean that the boundaries of morals and human decency in general, becomes aspects that they would consider to be redundant and unnecessary?
When knowledge lands itself within the power of those consumed by it. There is no telling what it is that they would be capable of doing.
From that, Keqing understood his concerns.
"And regardless of all that, I don't want to risk your reputation by senselessly dragging you into a fight that wasn't ours in the first place."
Keqing couldn't help but to let the sharpness bare its fangs within her tone.
"And yet, it's alright for you to be the one throwing yourself into the fire?" Her grip on him grew desperate, and so did her voice, "Listen to yourself, Aether… This isn't your fight to begin with. Why is it that while you can see the damage that it would do to someone else, you can't see the damage it would do to your own being?"
She would always support his fight to find his sister. To go against him on that front would be nothing short of a betrayal in her own eyes. But the fact that he has to constantly throw himself into issues that were not only physically, but also mentally taxing, just to have a sliver of chance to seek information from those who might not have even deserved his help, is not something she can always turn a blind eye upon.
Taking advantage of his ponderous silence, she loosened the grip he had on her waist and turned to face him, "I've said this before, and I'll say it again." She propped her forehead on his, "Think of yourself, first and foremost. The amount of pain I see in your eyes is enough to break my heart, Aether."
It was her tone that now grew desperate as she clutched onto his scarf.
Would it hurt for you to put yourself in front, for once?
Is what she had wanted to painstakingly shove up his face.
But, just like going against his want to find his sister would be a betrayal in her eyes; turning a blind eye to those in need would, in a sense, be his own betrayal to himself.
A betrayal to the principles that he had carried out all his life.
And, frustratingly so, Keqing knew that.
Her tone grew weaker as she could only lay haplessly on his chest.
"Please… don't try to carry all the burden by yourself." She almost begged, voice now watery, "I would cross through hell and back for you, but that's clearly not what you want right now; and I'll respect that. Just please, promise me that you will use all the help that you can get."
Slowly, she brought her face to meet his. Her hands snaking to both sides of his head to clasp it steady. Making sure that his eyes are on hers.
"Because I don't think I'd be able to handle any more of that sorrowful gaze of yours."
To her, it was that simple.
Her heart simply couldn't take it.
She had let her gaze fall, before he held her chin and tipped it back up to meet his eyes.
Before his lips went in to capture hers.
A signature short, yet sweet kiss left itself on her lips, before he pulled back. Eyes overflowing with a gaze that extended nothing but gratitude.
"Have I told you how lucky I am to have you in my life?"
"Many times." She let out a watery chuckle, their nose gently touching, "Can't entirely say that I'm bored of it just yet."
Finally, she heard him laugh for the first time that night, "Then I'll never stop reminding you." His hands found its way to her waist once more, "Nor will I forget to tell you that I love you."
She smiled gleefully, before concern returned to her features as she played with his hair, "But the experience must've shaken you to a deeper extent." Supporting her comment by inciting a hiss even when she gently ran her hand through his hair, "You're not one to willingly ignore personal hygiene like this."
Sighing in reluctance, he touched his own hair while she returned to leaning her back flush against his chest, "Yeah. With all the loops we did, showering can sometimes be so easily forgotten."
While he admonished at the fact that his degree of personal care had stooped to such a level, she took the time to observe him further. Taking in the fact that he had finally calmed down from all the demons that had plagued his mind.
So, she intended to keep it that way.
"Tell me about the rest of Sumeru then." Fully relaxing her weight on his chest, she tentatively inquired, "Surely it wasn't just all dark and gloomy over there, right?"
When she saw her face lit up even further, she knew that she had taken the right steps. There was a long journey ahead of him, and though there was nothing that she can do to directly help with the cause in hand; it would do nothing but fan the flames and the desire within her, to always be there for this man.
If all he needed from her, was the ability to showcase his vulnerability when he had needed it to. Then it simply be something that came along with the trust of being with one another.
To accept the good, the bad, and the ugly side of their humanity.
If he'd be willing to return to her, if only to showcase his weakness.
Then she'd be there to push him through it all.
For what it is to her, is simply what it means; to love someone with all her heart.