Author's note: A bit of a shorter update this time because I got sickish this week. I mean it's like around 7k words instead of 10k so maybe not that much of a difference lol. It will go back to normal next Friday evening, so no worries! Rated M+ for sexual content.
"It's all coming back
Feels like heaven
If l hold it tight
I can make it real"
- Still Corners
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We went out to lunch for a quick bite after that romantic moment between us at the forest.
We settled for some little sandwich shop somewhere, and of course, Kenshin paid for both of us. He told me I still shouldn't even think about using my credit cards. At least not until we're back at his house when this weekend is over. The lunch was nice, but I really wish I could have taken us both someplace nicer. I really do love spoiling Kenshin with my money. No matter how much he tries to deny it, Kenshin does enjoy the finer things in life as much as I do.
After that, we were back on walking down the sidewalks, looking at all the passing stores as we travel past them. He told me he sometimes does window shopping, and not buy anything, because that's just how his life has always been like. I asked him if his mom ever brought him things, and he said he could hardly remember much. But she did brought him little toys, like action figures and race cars, and I have to laugh. Meanwhile, I remember being brought humongous toys by my parents when I was growing up, but I don't let Kenshin know any of this. I bend the truth to him and told him that I did played with those same race car toys when I was little, and he would gush about the models he would race against each other, or with Sanosuke and Yahiko when they were just little boys.
I have to wonder, would we have gotten along when we were little boys, too? Or were we too different back then? We are quite the odd couple, even now; Kenshin's the bad ass punk rock thug who used to not look forward much into the future, and I'm the ambitious rich kid who's got the world in his hand. I tried my best to follow the rules that was handed to me, but Kenshin broke them without any guilt back then. He's really the type that I would have been advised to stay far away from, but that just made him so much more attractive in my eyes.
"Where to?" I blink at him happily, "It's barely one in the afternoon. Do you want to just walk around a shopping mall nearby? We don't have to buy anything.. I just want to spend some more time with you."
Kenshin smiles sheepishly to himself, "Shit. That's fine by me. But no buying anything. I mean, at best, I could get you a fucking jawbreaker or something."
"Why a jawbreaker?" I chuckle.
"Dude.. you are the suck master. That's why."
"And what is that supposed to mean?" I pout at him, but obviously keeping a playful undertone in there, which made him chuckle harder.
"You give the most amazing blowjobs ever. Gotta keep that jaw nice and firm. Jawbreakers are a good workout."
"You're so.. weird."
"Orrrr.. we can go back in the hotel and you can work that jaw on me again."
"You're a pervert!"
"Look who's talking!"
We're laughing harder now, the cars next to us beeping at each other and completely unaware of our own little world. We walk around some more until we finally reach the shopping center, which is where we come across the entrance of a huge mall. Perfect. We enter the building and the first floor is just a department store, full of clothing, cosmetics, shoes, and the likes. We stay casual by walking just about a foot or so away from each other, looking around us as if we're just two bros shopping for our own stuff instead of being together.
There's nothing interesting in this store, so we decide to go into the main floor of the shopping mall. Now there are plenty of other stores to look through. It's not the kind of place Father and I would go to, to purchase the type of clothes we tend to wear. But it's passable enough, and after taking the girls out for shopping at the mall back home in Kyoto, it's something I'm already used to.
Kenshin and I walk into a variety of different stores, some that are geared towards fashion, and some that are about other things, like candy, coffee, or traveling merchandise. I asked him if he would ever consider leaving this country for fun, and he confirmed that yes, he would. I'm glad he's open minded like that. I've had a lot of fun traveling overseas, but to have Kenshin by my side would make the experiences all the better. We walk through the mall absentmindedly, chatting about school and our friends, when something catches Kenshin's eyes. He looks up ahead with a bit of a surprise in his eyes, but then he laughs to himself. I blink, turning to see what he's looking at, before my face burns up in embarrassment.
"Oh my God. Is that..?" I place my hand over my mouth, bewildered.
"A sex shop." Kenshin nods, walking on ahead of me.
"Where are you.. Kenshin!" I hurry up to walk by his side again, "Don't tell me you're going in there!"
"Why not?" He shrugs with a grin.
I huff, "It's the middle of the day. Not exactly appropriate!"
He sticks his tongue at me, "Nyeh! Lighten up, will ya? We've got an important video call with someone that's gonna be really heavy, and I wanna have some fun before we get to that!"
"Oh.. You mean.." I blink downwards shyly, remembering our next objective for tonight regarding Shishio's rape victims, "Well.. I guess.. I guess it's not a problem to have a look around.."
"Attaboy!" He wraps an arm around my shoulder, making me blush harder, "It's just to have a look. That's all."
Right. Having just a look. Of course.
The store is dark except for the neon lights that are glowing lazily on the walls. All around us are sex toys of any and every kind you can think of; dildos, strap ons, ball gags, anal plugs and beads, personal lubricants, and more. I'm no stranger to this type of thing, but back then before I met Kenshin, I brought these things online on the down low that had very innocent sounding store names attached to them so that my dad wouldn't be suspicious. As soon as I turned eighteen years old last September, and about a month before I transferred into Kenshin's school, I brought that big box of sex toys to prepare myself for him.
That fucking box is in my bag back in the hotel. I sure hope the help there doesn't somehow find it. How embarrassing.
I blush, remembering all of that. I was given my first set of credit cards for my eighteenth birthday, but I did had my own debit card ever since I was thirteen thanks to how the law works here. The second I received those credit cards, though, I was able to purchase those sex toys online, all behind my father's back. I would take time during the evenings, stretching myself out with them, masturbating with them, and even practiced deep throating on a toy to get good at it. I'm no virgin by any stretch of the imagination before Kenshin, but I really wanted to impress him as much as I could.
It's crazy how far I would go for him. I'm not sure if what I've done with those toys was healthy or not, but you know, that's what being an insecure guy is like if you're not one yourself.
I walked through the store and peered at all the gadgets they have, and some look really fucking crazy and scary. I don't know get why some people would be into wearing a complete leather suit to the point where they can't even see outside of it, but I guess some people are just that wild. I remember when Kenshin found that one toy where he can insert it over his cock on top of another plastic dick, for double penetration. I have never been double penetrated before. I'm not sure if I could even handle all of that. I only brought it for show. I look from behind me and see Kenshin rummaging through some smaller stuff, and decide to walk on over. He is looking at some packages of different lubes and oils in his hands, comparing them, and tinkering thoughts inside his head.
"What're you doing?" I ask him boredly and mildly annoyed by his otherwise perverted stance right now.
He looks at me, "Just looking."
"You're not gonna buy those things, are you?"
"With my money? Why not?"
I scoff, "Kenshin.. I have stuff back at the hotel if you want. We shouldn't waste so much money. You even told me that."
"Well," He shrugs, "Anything that has to do with making you feel good and cum are different. I like making you feel satisfied."
"You already satisfy me," I tug on his sleeve, "Come on, let's go, this is dumb."
"Can't I at least buy this massaging oil?"
"Kenshin."
"What!"
I sigh, "Fine!"
"Soujiro," He turns towards me completely, "What's wrong? You look tense."
We're the only ones in the store, thank goodness, but I know people might come in any second. I lean into him to whisper, "Nothing, I just.. I just don't want people to be suspicious of us. That's all."
"Well.." He whispers back, his eyes flickering around me to check the front entrance of the store that leads to the rest of the mall, "How about this. You go back out and wait for me. I'll buy this on my own. That way, it doesn't look that weird."
I blush deeper, "When are you.. going to use that thing..?"
He smiles at me knowingly.
"Wanna go back to the hotel after this? You could use a massage. You're too stressed out."
I gulp. I know a massage usually leads to sex. And I'm already stiffening inside my pants at that possibility right now. It's a good thing he and I both share the same level of high sex drives, to be honest. I sigh, finally giving up, "Okay. Fine. I'll wait for you out there. Make it quick, alright?"
"Yes, dear." His voice sounds funny when he said that, and I bite down a giggle. Idiot.
He's my idiot, though.
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After walking for like half an hour and taking a few stops through the public metro bus system, we are back in the hotel room. We undressed to get ourselves completely naked, deciding that we'll order in for tonight's dinner instead of going back out. It's now around two in the afternoon, just several hours before that video call. The sooner it gets to that time, the more nervous I feel. I know that I shouldn't be, and that I won't be alone with that girl when she does tell her side of the story regarding Shishio's abuse towards her. But it's still scaring me. Anything regarding rape or sexual assault makes me want to throw up.
Maybe Kenshin's right. Maybe I do need a massage. Maybe I am stressed out. Maybe I do need to relax.
Kenshin compiled a bunch of towels and laid them out on the bathroom floor, before outstretching his hand towards me from where's crouching down there, "Come on. Get on the towels."
Oh, Kenshin. I have to wonder if he's the messy type when I'm not around. There's no way his own dad Hiko would allow him to do this type of crap on his watch. And I don't mean Kenshin's sex life; I mean, just throwing stuff around on the floor. If Kenshin wants me to go live with him, he better not expect me to welcome this type of shenanigan. I happen to like living in a clean, organized space!
I do so, chuckling meanwhile, "Well, you're a romantic."
"Yeah," He sighs, "I could have gotten maybe candles or something, but.. you know."
"Yeah.."
We really need to keep ourselves on a tight budget. That bottle of massaging oil he got kind of costed him a pretty coin, and even I felt like shit when he told me about the price when I asked what the damage was. Sure, it's no luxury item, but he's already paying for this room out for the weekend and it just feels so unfair. He doesn't mind, of course. But still. I still feel like shit about it. I really wish I could spend my money on him instead.
Besides.. we still have that box of sex toys to rummage through. I think we'll be okay.
I sit on the towels and he gets behind me, opening that bottle of oil now. The scent is sweet and I'm already closing my eyes, humming in tranquility. I can hear him placing that bottle down next to him and rubbing his hands together to warm it up before massaging them on my shoulders. I let my body relax into his touch, my muscles clenching before releasing immediately as soon as he rubs his hands over them. I exhale, relaxing completely.
He's working on my mid to lower back now. I have to say, he is really good with his hands in more ways than one. When I first met him, I manage to sneak a peak at his artwork and he's quite decent at what he does. I remember when he told me he could see himself learning a trade such as working on cars or motorcycles after high school, before I pushed him to go further than that. And not to mention the sex we have together is where his hands really takes the front center stage of the show; I am always having mindless orgasms after orgasms thanks to those two hands of his.
My stomach drops at that last thought and I can feel my cheeks blush. He quietly instructs me to lie on my stomach, and I do so. My heart rate starts to quicken, knowing we are almost about to have sex again. Maybe another orgasm is just what I need to feel ready to accept that video chat later on. I need to let everything go and feel calm for something that important, after all.
He works from the back and around my neck, into the areas between the sides of my neck and shoulder blades, and back down on my spine. I make sure to keep breathing in and out deeply to let the muscles go. Once he's near the end of my tailbone, my body stiffens slightly in anticipation, to which he whispers to me gently, "Relax for me."
"Okay.." I do so on command, a slight shiver running up my spine as soon as I feel his oily hands rubbing themselves over my buttocks. His hands slide down even lower onto the back of my thighs now, sinking down towards the back of my kneecaps, calves and legs. He even starts massaging my ankles tenderly, which feels amazing. I am not one to consider myself a star athlete when it comes to sports, but having to do gym class nearly everyday for school can take a toll on you.
Oh, this feels great!
His hands are soon sailing back up from my ankles, to my calves, behind my kneecaps, and over my buttocks. I gulp, but still manage to give into these touches. Still did not prevented my dick from hardening underneath me all of a sudden. I bite my lower lip, already feeling embarrassed. Why can't I let him touch me and not always want to jump on his bones? I suppose maybe that's not such a bad thing. It's not evil for being so attracted to your boyfriend, honestly. There's nothing wrong with this. I'm not doing anything wrong here..
His hand suddenly sneaks near my crack and I flinch, "Oh!"
He sniggers, "Sorry, are you alright?"
"Kenshin!" I whisper vehemently, looking from over my shoulder at him, "Really, now?"
"Yeah, really." He mumbles back darkly, his hand slipping in between my cheeks as I bite down a moan.
"Hah!" I exhale, writhing from his fingers now brushing against my opening.
He slowly pushes in one finger into me, and I try to breathe so as to let my body accept it readily. It goes all the way in and he starts sliding in and out, creating a pleasurable feeling inside of me. I exhale in pleasure, feeling him slant over my body to start trailing kisses down my back. The entire backside of my body is slick with oil, and the bathroom takes on a lovely rosy scent now.
"Oh God!" I moan, "This is so good!"
He keeps thrusting in that slow, maddening pace in and out of my hole. I wish he can go harder, or faster, or push in more fingers. But he doesn't and just keeps at it like this. He takes in a sadistic type of pleasure of seeing me squirm helplessly against this and the way I keep thrusting my ass back to have his finger go in faster, but he pins his knee cap over my ass cheeks to hold me down. I growl impatiently at this and he laughs, going a little faster with his fingering now.
"H-huh!" I exhale, "Fucking God!"
"Are you cumming?"
"Any minute now, yeah!"
"Ah," He slows down, "Not yet. Not right now."
He takes his finger out, much to my disappointment. I struggle to sit back up and look at him lustfully, forcefully shooting my arm out to grab his wrist of the same hand he used to finger me just seconds ago. He looks shocked by this but lets me move his hand at will. I spread my legs and watch as his eyes gaze down at my hard twitching cock as well as my hole before I force that finger back inside.
"Please.." I beg him, "Let me cum.."
"I already told you," He grunts, inching closer to me, "Not yet.."
I moan, "I'm ready for my third cum dump for today."
"Fuck," He bites my lower lip and groans breathlessly, "Soujiro.."
We watch each other ardently for a moment, his finger curving up and around until he's rubbing against my prostate. At that, I shiver all over and gasp, moaning deeply. He weakens visibly at this, his smile and breath faltering at the sight of my face. It's almost as if he's fallen in love with me all over again with the way he's looking at me. I couldn't help but flicker my tongue flirtatiously at him before looking down at myself, admiring his hand inside of me. He's the best fuck partner I've ever had in my life, and I bet I am the best he's ever had, too.
"You're such a whore." He shakes his head incredulously at this.
I whine loudly, nodding, "Yeah I am!"
"Soujiro, I.." He takes a hold of my hip with his free hand, shaking his head, "I want to make you cum soon. This finger won't do."
I shudder, "Okay. Fine."
He instructs me to lie on my back this time to work on the front of my entire body now. He retracts his finger out of me gently and I do as I am told, my face flushed in desire. He grabs more oil to now spill it over my chest, stomach and torso, and I giggle to myself. Impatient now, aren't we? He rubs my entire body, taking his time with this, and I let my eyes close to permit my mind to drift away peacefully. He even got my legs again, before giving me a much needed foot massage on both feet.
"Hah, Kenshin.." I groan, "This is so good.."
He works on my heel now, mumbling, "Glad you like it.."
After several minutes of massaging my feet, he sneaks his hands over my inner thighs and torso, creepy closer and closer to my genital. My stomach flinches back as I inhale sharply at this, already excited for this. He finally starts to masturbate me and my eyes flutter open, moaning in hunger, "God, Kenshin.. yes..!"
He pumps me in a steady rhythm, my back arching from the pleasure riding inside of me. This feels so good! I start to moan louder as he quickens the pace just a little, not enough to get me over the edge, but just enough to make me pant and yearning for more.
"I.. I can't.." I heave and grab his arm abruptly, struggling to get back on my knees and looking down at his own enlarged cock in lust, "Kenshin.."
"Sou.." He couldn't finish my name completely because I am already leaning over to start to sucking on the head of his cock. So he instead tilts his head back and starts panting in intervals, running his oily hand through my hair, "Fuck..!"
"Is that.. oil.. edible?" I whisper as I drag my wet tongue over the head of his cock before suckling on it.
"Y-yeah!" He grabs the bottle and opens it in haste, dousing it over his cock as soon as I move away from him to do so. I have to laugh.
"Mmm, you love it when I suck on your cock, don't you?" I moan before I slap my tongue languidly on and around the head of his dick once more, sighing.
"Fuck yeah.." He exhales hotly, pulling on my hair a little in a fit of passion. That action sends electricity all around my scalp as I start to deep throat him, enjoying the taste of his dick mixed in with the berry flavors of the oil now. I guess I can safely say that I'm glad he brought this little thing from that sex shop earlier today instead of listening to me. He starts facefucking me and I take it all happily, his hands gripping and pulling on my hair all the while. The walls of the bathroom now echoes with the sound of me nearly chocking on him. He soon thrusts a finger inside my ass, and I am transported into heaven. As a form of thanks, I start licking and suckle on his balls, which he very much appreciates judging by those sounds he's making right now.
I suck and lick him for a few moments, but he suddenly becomes impatient and wraps his arms around my upper body to haul me back up onto my knees again. He has my back facing him and takes my hips backwards so that I am sitting on top his lap, kissing the side of my neck hungrily. I shiver with a gasp, my eyes fluttering in pleasure. He starts to guide my legs to spread them out with his own legs, all the while grabbing his cock to start rubbing the head of it against the skin between my genitals and hole. I brace myself and feel my body solidify in sheer excitement, my breath hitching and feeling my face suddenly hotter than before.
It slipped in way too quickly and messily, and I cry out in pain as it hits my prostate too hard. Kenshin grabs onto my hips and winces, hissing in some pain and discomfort as well. He kisses my cheek and mumbles concernedly, "I'm sorry, are you okay?"
"Y-yeah.." I nod, rubbing my cheek against his affectionately. He does the same in return.
He leans all the way back and I instinctively lean back a little also, his hands grabbing my forearms to support me as I start to bounce on his cock. Both of our bodies are now glistening in the oil and I feel so good. I moan and start breathing faster, my throaty groans mixing with Kenshin's deeper ones. Kenshin thrusts upwards in time as I come down on his cock, and I throw my head back to stare at the ceiling above me, crying out in rapture at this.
"Hah, hah, hah!" I exhale in a higher pitch, my mouth now taking on a blissful smile over my face. I couldn't help but giggle to myself here and there at how amazing this all feels to me.
"Haah, fuck.." He whispers below me, continuing thrusting upwards.
We keep at it like this for several moments, enjoying each other's bodies and how we're both all slick and oily for each other. His cock feels absolutely wonderful inside my ass. To think that we still have tomorrow to enjoy being together in private like this is already making my head swim in pure euphoria. Not to mention the fact that I get to be able to live with him at his house afterwards? No more going back home to Father and wishing I was dead. Now I can be with my boyfriend all I want without any issue!
I am breathing faster and faster as Kenshin starts flinging his hips upwards in quicker thrusts, and I couldn't take in anymore; I cry out as my cock shoots out a fuck ton of cum out of my body, splashing all over Kenshin's legs and on to the floors too. At that second, I feel that familiar gush of warm cum from Kenshin's dick into my hole, my eyes fluttering and my smile faltering in a moment of bliss. I chuckle airily, proud of making Kenshin dump his cum in me once again for today.
I take a hold of his knees and implant my feet onto the floor unplug his cock from my hole. My thighs are trembling from the impact of that orgasm as well as from that delightful fucking. I lean forward to try and get up, but at that last moment of just when I was about to go all the way up, my legs give out from under me and I fall on top of Kenshin. I can feel his cum oozing out of my hole and onto his stomach by accident, and I look at him from over my shoulder to see if he's okay. He only smirks at me before smacking my ass cheeks with both of his hands before laughing at me.
I couldn't help but chuckle in return too, my face still burning from blushing so much.
We really are compatible in bed together, really.
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After a quick shower to wash up, we decide to play some video games. Kenshin really planned everything for my comfort and entertainment when he rented out this room for us. He didn't wanted me to feel bored or scared, which makes me love him all the more. You wouldn't have guessed it just by looking at him, but Kenshin's a real lover boy once he's in love. He wants to do anything for the person he's with, and I can't help but feel spoiled by him.
He sets up the console to the hotel TV before we start playing some old school games, trying to beat each other and just having fun together. I suppose I could see Kenshin doing this type of stuff with a girlfriend instead of me. There are girls out there who play video games sometimes, and there are girls out there who can be comfortably masculine, or be into otherwise "boyish hobbies". But honestly, a part of me feels happy that I am of the same sex as he is. Not only can we do romantic or sexual things together, but we can just blend in anywhere and act like friends if we need to without anybody getting too suspicious. Guys play video games with each other all the time, and hang out to do silly stuff as well.
You can't do that with the opposite sex. Either they accuse you of being into that person, or one of you is gay and in denial. Which is so stupid.
Growing up, I always had a scientific level of fascination with girls. I am always wondering how they manage to live in a world that is otherwise so against them on the basis of their sex. I recall being into some female music artists and being into their talent, but hiding this from father because he might think that's effeminate of me to do so. If I had a loving father and a mother who didn't died on us, I wonder if I could be more open to my more feminine interests such as that. I can't really see myself being into cosmetics like some gay guys are, but I really do understand why they would be into something like that.
Maybe a part of us wishes that life could be different for us, deep down.
And it always points to the same thing: How we see girls. What they have, and how perhaps we envy them just a little bit, as well as how much they intrigue us with their secret lives. I actually enjoy having female friends; the ones I've made over the years, as well as the ones I have now here in Kyoto, always fills me with joy. When it comes to male friends, it's usually a miss rather than a hit; the way they just know that I am different from them and keep their distance tells me all I need to know about where I stand in this society.
Maybe this is something I can bring up with my suppose fiancée. I'm surprised I haven't heard from her since Wednesday night, but I guess she thinks I'm insufferable and refuses to speak to me on her own free will. Well, I think I get it, honestly. She's obviously unhappy with this set up as much as I am. She is a lesbian and has a girlfriend to take care of, just like I am gay and have a boyfriend to tend to. Of course neither of us are looking forward to marrying each other.
"You beat me again!" I whine childishly as the television blares the music announcing the winner, who is sitting right next to me on the bed.
"Sorry," He smiles sheepishly before giving me a peck on the cheek, "I'll let you beat me in the next round if you want."
"What am I, a sore loser to you?"
"Hey, I'm trying to make you happy here!" He sighs exasperatedly, but we both have a laugh at that.
Suddenly, we hear something vibrating. We look at each other confusingly, before we have a look around to see where it's coming from. Kenshin looks at his phone and turns it on, not seeing anything. I find my smartphone and my secret phone, and see that my smartphone is the one that's going off. We look at each other again, and I see that it's a phone number that I do not recognize.
"Who is that?" Kenshin blinks at my phone screen.
"I have no idea." I shake my head.
"Accept it and turn up the volume."
I do so.
"Hello?" I greet the caller on the other end.
"Soujiro?"
It's a female voice. I blink rapidly at this before frowning, "Yes? Who is this?"
"Ah," She laughs politely, "It's your fiancée, Asahi Kubota."
Crazy that I'm hearing her voice just when I was thinking about her. Kenshin really doesn't look happy to hear that, though, on account of that look on his face.
I gulp, "Um.. hi? How did you get this number?"
"Your father reached out to me. He sounded really worried about you. He asked if maybe I saw you around. When I told him that of course I haven't, he gave me your number to check in. What's going on?"
Kenshin grunts and looks away from me, obviously already pissed off that this conversation is even happening in the first place. I look on at him worriedly. Oh, Kenshin. Maybe now you know how I feel when it comes to you and Kaoru.
".. Hello?" Her voice is quieter now, confused by my silence.
"I'm here," I turn back to my phone again, "Asahi, listen. I'm not on speaking terms with Father anymore. Things happened and I.. I am living away from him now. You wouldn't understand. I mean, maybe you do. Because you're just like me. And you don't want us to get married anyway, right?"
Silence.
"I do understand," She sighs, "But Soujiro. You do understand the ramifications if you reject this marriage arrangement, right?"
"Do you understand?"
She grunts on the other line. Silence. She finally sighs in defeat.
"I do. I do want to reject this as much as I do. But they know of my girlfriend. They know who she is. And I don't really want to know what they'll do to her if I run away from all of this."
"Asahi.. don't you love her?"
Silence once more hangs heavily in the air, and Kenshin still doesn't look at me, opting to have his back turned towards me.
".. I do. I do love her a lot. I know you love your boyfriend, too."
"Then," I take in a deep breath, calming my nerves before I speak again, "I don't want to marry you. I am not returning home, either. I know what this will mean between you and your girlfriend. And for that, I am truly sorry. But Asahi.. I can't ever love you the way your girlfriend loves you. I will never give you what you deserve."
"I know.. I can't ever love you like that, either."
Despite all of this, her voice fills me with pain. The only kind of pain that she and I can understand. The pain of knowing that you will always be an outsider, no matter what. She probably wonders if maybe her marriage to me could be her ticket way out of her own personal nightmares. And I do understand that from the other side of it. But I know this isn't the way to do it.
"Are you okay, Asahi?" I straighten up from where I sit, worried about my new friend now, "Father isn't anywhere near you, is he?"
"No," She sighs again, "It's just.. I don't want him to hurt you. It's hard to find someone like me out here in the world. I'll think of something. But what would you want me to tell him?"
"Tell him if he ever contacts you again," My teeth grits together, "He'll regret everything."
She is quiet for a moment, but then she finally whispers in a calm tone: "Okay. I will. Take care."
She hangs up before I even get the chance to say or ask her of anything else. Sounds like she's itching to get off the phone with me as soon as she was able to. I wonder if maybe her girlfriend is around and appears just as wounded by this conversation as Kenshin does right now. Speaking of which..
"Kenshin?" I swivel back around to face him, carefully placing a hand on his shoulder.
He turns to look at me, his face unreadable. Is he mad at me now? Is he reminded yet again of how much we have to face together as a couple? Well, to be honest, what did he expected? I had warned him before how difficult it'll be with someone like me. I told him that. I made sure to let him know of the future implications of involving himself with me. I prevented him from becoming my boyfriend months ago because of this.
He finally smiles at me, shaking his head slowly, "Soujiro.. You've really changed a lot."
"Huh?" I blink.
He turns towards me completely before embracing me into his arms, kissing the top of my head lovingly, "You've done it again. Standing up for yourself, I mean. You used to be unable to do that. You used to be so afraid. And now look at you."
I melt into his hug with a shy smile of my own, nuzzling my face into his neck, "You're not.. disappointed?"
"Disappointed? Of what?"
"Hearing her voice. Knowing she's real," I lean back so he can look at my face now, "Does it make you jealous? That she was chosen to be with me like that?"
He scoffs but still has that smile on his face, "No way. I know you didn't pick her out of your own will. I can't be jealous of that. You were forced into it."
"You chose Kaoru over me back then.." My smile takes on a sadder note, "That was your choice. You chose that. All on your own free will. It destroyed me. Now do you see?"
He gapes at me with a grunt, not knowing what to say at first. He slowly shrinks into himself in shame, looking down at the side, "I.. I'm so sorry. For what I've done. Soujiro.."
I sigh, "I know. I forgive you. I'm sorry I was so difficult back then."
"I guess now I know how you feel."
Silence.
"I guess now you do."
He outstretches an arm behind me and I lean in to let him hug me. We stay like that for a while, just staring idly into nothing in particular. There is so much that is yet to be done. So much that we still have to face as a couple. Coming out to our friends.. that was just the tip of the iceberg, I'm afraid. I can't imagine coming out to my father, even if I had Kenshin by my side like this.
But I know it has to come down to that, eventually.
I could keep running away from myself. Hide and lie and pretend that I am just like everybody else. But I honestly do believe that my father already knows. And just like me, he decides to deny it. Just like me, he decides that we should suppress the truth and repress my real nature. And if I hadn't met Kenshin, the boy who can stand his ground and get in my face so that I can be more truthful about myself and everyone around me.. I could have kept up with this facade. I could have somehow have it all still.
But Kenshin taught me that there's no joy in living a lie.
...
He deserves another piece of truth about myself.
"Kenshin.." I finally whisper, rubbing his arm with my hand gently, "I want.. I want to show you a picture of my mother now."
He grunts, looking down at my face, "Are.. Are you sure?"
"Well," I sit up straight to look at him fully, "I promised you that I would show you her face eventually, right? And you did everything for me these past couple of days. I think you've earned it."
He gapes at me carefully, and his eyes slowly float towards nothing, thinking of what to say. But no matter. I get up from the bed and walk towards my duffel bag to retrieve it, before walking towards him from where he sits. He looks up at me, worried that I'll somehow break down, or be upset, or not go through with this. But I am calm and ready, facing him completely with the photograph in my hand.
In the photograph, it is just my mother sitting near the balcony when we were living in Paris. I was born around the time this photograph was taken. In the picture, she's wearing a white chateau dress and ivory sandals. Her hair is worn long and loose, a slight wave bending through her otherwise smooth mane as the wind brushes through it. Her skin is glowing and her lips breaks out in a joyful smile, a smile fit for a brand new mother who is proud of bringing an innocent life into the world.
Her eyes are like sapphire, a shade nearly identical to my own. Her beauty unmistakably breathtaking.
Kenshin takes the photograph into his hand as I hand it to him, and he stares at it. We don't say anything for a while. He blinks once, twice, three times. And finally he looks at me with a smile, "She looks a lot like you."
I smile back shyly, "You think?"
"Yeah. Pretty. Like you."
I sit back down on the bed next to him, looking at the picture, "She could have modeled if she had never met dad, honestly."
"No kidding. You honestly have her eyes, especially."
"Ooh," I coo playfully, "Got the hots for my mom?"
He scoffs but then laughs good naturedly, "Come on! I mean, hot mom, hot son? No surprise there."
I giggle, "You look like your mom also. Very beautiful. Same hair color and everything.."
He sighs contently, "Yeah.."
"Do you not have a picture of your dad?"
He shakes his head, "Nah. I mean. Unless.. Hiko has it somewhere in the house.. I haven't looked that far enough to find out yet."
"We should find it," I cough awkwardly, "Er, I mean. If you want to, that is.."
"Soujiro," He looks at me in determination now, "I'll do literally everything and anything now that I have you by my side. I mean it."
"You really mean that?"
"I do, Soujiro."
I smile at him softly, before leaning in to kiss him demurely.
.
.
.
"I'm ready to take on the world too with you on my side, Kenshin."
(To be continued)