Chapter 30 - Not a First Date

Jon sat in the car outside of the visiting center, a book open on his lap. He was pretty sure he hadn't read a word of it since he'd been here.

They hadn't sent Shawn away, which meant Chet was in that building. Jon wondered what they were doing, what they were even talking about. Then again, it wasn't hard to imagine. Shawn could chatter for hours when he wanted to, and Chet could tell lies for at least as long.

Jon didn't even bother to chide himself for thinking that way, this time.

Shawn waved and grinned as he came out to the car, jogging over to the passenger's side. Jon frowned at him as he climbed in. "Your doctor didn't say you could run yet," he said.

Shawn rolled his eyes. "You're not my dad."

"Yeah? Did he tell you not to run?"

"No!"

"Then I'm not trying to be your dad. But I'm the one who takes you to the doctors, so while you're under my roof, you follow their rules. Or there's gonna have to be consequences. Got it?"

Shawn muttered something under his breath, and Jon pulled away. He knew he was probably being overbearing—Shawn hadn't jogged for more than a few steps, and he hadn't run fast—but he couldn't seem to chase away the foul mood.

He tried to think about his date tomorrow night to keep his mind off of it, but it took until they reached the apartment for him to remember that Ashley was also coming by tonight, for movie night. The apartment was a mess, and he didn't have the time or energy to make it half as presentable as he would have wanted, for the girl he was going to be dating.

It didn't matter. Ashley arrived in sweatpants and no makeup, with her hair pulled back in a messy ponytail and a bag of pop corn in her hand. She gave Shawn a hug first, then hugged Jon and apologized for her appearance, giving some excuse that Jon didn't hear, because now that he was allowing himself to look at her, his heart was pounding out of his chest. He searched for some clever comeback and came up with, "You look great."

She grinned, which made him smile against his will—he could have sworn he'd once been smooth and good at all of this—and she turned to Shawn. "Good Saturday?"

"Yeah, I got to visit my dad!"

"Oh, that must have been nice."

"It's been a while," Shawn said, and he began telling stories about his visit, which was more than he'd done with Jon.

Jon quietly made himself busy by popping the popcorn, putting the movie into the VCR, and putting a couple of extra pillows and blankets out on the couch. He moved the coffee table off to the side—Shawn often sat on the floor.

"—and we've got our court hearing coming up, so I'm probably going home pretty soon," Shawn was saying as Jon took his seat.

"Sounds like you're doing well," Ashley said.

Shawn plunked down on a pillow on his stomach. "Yeah, and Jon too, he'll finally get his life back. Ooh, pop corn!" He held out his hands, and Jon begrudgingly handed over the bowl.

Ashley chuckled and sat beside Jon on the couch, and Jon picked up the remote to start the movie. It was just as well he wouldn't get any pop corn. Shawn's words had left Jon feeling awfully sick to his stomach.

"Hey," Ashley whispered beside him, and he looked over at her. Her eyes peered up into his with deep sympathy and sadness, and as much as everything still hurt, he knew he wasn't alone. She reached over and slipped her warm hand into his, and it felt just right.

Shawn fussed over Jon for the majority of the morning on Sunday as he prepared for his date, telling him to use mouthwash and change his shirt and lose the tie and put on more cologne and use mouthwash again. Jon put up with it, unsure how much it mattered. If they were going to play mini golf, she couldn't be dressing up too much.

He dropped Shawn off at the Matthews, swung by the flower shop, and went to pick up Ashley. In that moment, he realized exactly how wrong he'd been.

She wasn't in a dress. She wore jean shorts and a red shirt, but she'd let her hair down and curled it, and that alone transformed her. He tried not to let his nervousness show, but she didn't seem to be nervous in the slightest. She gave him a big smile and accepted the roses with surprise. "Oh, Jon, you didn't have to do that!" She took a step back. "Come on in. Don't mind the mess, my roommates are pigs."

He stepped into an apartment that was about as strewn with laundry and papers as his was. "Stick around, and I'll tell you about when Shawn brought home an actual pig," Jon said.

She laughed aloud, placing the flowers into a vase. Jon felt the back of his neck prickle, and he glanced to his right. A woman with short brown hair smirked at him, then disappeared down the hall.

Ashley rolled her eyes. "Don't mind Brianna. She forgets she's not in high school!" Those last words were said toward the door. Ashley fussed with the roses a little more and then sighed contentedly. "Ready?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said, and he followed her out of the door, which she locked behind herself. Then he held out a hand, which she accepted, and walked her to his car.

He took her to a little French cafe that he liked to use for first dates, because it was nice without being to fancy, cozy and a little romantic without being overwhelming.

The waiter offered them a wine list, and Jon turned him down. He didn't have to ask Ashley; he knew neither of them would want it, and that wasn't something he'd ever known about a woman before his first date with her.

"I'm starving," Ashley said, happily picking up the menu. "What do they have that's red meat?"

It suddenly hit him that he probably should have gone for a greasy spoon or a grill, given who he was with. Most of the women he'd dated had opted for salads on the first date. "Right, it's a spin day for you, isn't it?"

"Woke up late, missed breakfast. Isn't it a long gym day for you, too?"

"Skipped it. Shawn, uh, needed something." He opted not to tell her how long he'd spent preparing for the date.

"Oh yeah, how is Shawn doing?"

"He's good. At Cory's today."

"Good, he'll enjoy that."

"Yeah." Jon thought about saying more, but this date was about more than that. He hadn't called Ashley here to be his support friend; he'd asked her on a date. "Uh, the au jus is pretty good."

"Sounds great."

Jon waved over the waiter and gave their order, then asked for some bread for the table. When they were alone again, and the distraction of the menus gone, he looked into her eyes and let himself drink it in—her beauty, and the affection beaming from her face. He wondered how long she'd been looking at him like that. He wasn't about to ask.

But he had to say something. So he said, "Uh, so, I know all about your job and all that, but uh. I've never asked about, uh. Your family."

He could have kicked himself. Sure, he'd lost a few brain cells around a pretty woman before, but nothing like this.

She didn't seem to mind. "Oh, yeah. Uh, I grew up with my mom and sister. Irene. I'll skip the sob story about deadbeat dad, you already know about that. Put myself through college and nursing school, kind of felt selfish leaving my sister behind, but . . . she's seven years younger, and it was an escape I needed, you know? My mom really wasn't the same after my dad left. I live with a couple of roommates now. Briana, the one you met earlier, she's an engineering grad student, and really nosy. The other one's Mandy, she's actually a nurse, too. She keeps to herself a little more."

"You still talk to your sister?"

"Yeah, we're pretty close. She juggles work and community college, hasn't really figured out who she wants to be. She's just twenty two, she'll figure it out, you know?"

"Sounds like you knew by that age."

"I had a good foundation, from those early years when Mom held it together." She winced. "Here I am, telling sob stories anyway. Your turn to tell me about your family."

"Uh." He didn't feel right taking the spotlight back when she had just been so vulnerable, but if she was uncomfortable, maybe it was a mercy. "Grew up in Connecticut, went to school in New York, moved to Philly after a couple of years teaching there." He was suddenly worried about disappointing her, talking about how he'd walked away from the rich life, but she'd been open with him . . . "Well. Grew up rich, actually. Trust fund kid."

Her jaw dropped. "I wouldn't have guessed that."

"I'd feel like a real jerk complaining about that life, but, uh. Raised by nannies, private boarding schools. Had anything in the world I wanted."

"Anything but your parents' attention?"

He didn't respond to that. "I wanted my own life. Packed up, moved to New York, flunked out of a couple semesters, got evicted from a couple apartments. Took me a little time to figure out who I was."

"Sounds like my sister."

He smiled. "Anyway, that's why I teach high school. They're all trying to figure out who they are, and I get to watch it happen. Every time they learn something new, understand something for the first time, every little step is so exciting."

"Doesn't hurt that they're hilarious."

Jon suddenly remembered she liked teenagers too. "Right," he said.

She leaned forward in her seat a little, placing her hands on the table and looking him in the eyes. "I do have a question for you."

"Okay."

"What's wrong with you?"

Jon blinked. "What?"

"You're smart, you're sweet, you're funny, you're . . . well, look at you!"

He grinned. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know what it means, Jonathan."

"Well, you're one to talk."

"See? You know the right things to say and everything. So . . . what happened to the last girlfriend?

His breath caught. "Exes, really? You wanna talk exes on a first date?"

She gave him a look. "It's not a first date!"

"Which date is it, then?"

"Uh, late nights at the hospital, and the last month or so, coming over for meals and movie nights—"

"That was with Shawn," Jon said. "Doesn't count."

"Fine, if none of that counts . . . I'd say our first date was when we went out to make that gift basket for Shawn, and our second date was at Chubbie's when Shawn set us up. And I'd at least count last night. Shawn was asleep a half an hour into the movie."

"Okay, okay." He laughed a little. "Fourth date, then."

"So? Girlfriends?"

He let out his breath. "I've dated a number of women. Nothing serious. I, uh, wasn't gonna say this, but this is . . . sort of the first time I've dated a friend."

"Why's that?"

"Uh . . . honestly? If I didn't have Shawn, I'd have probably asked you out before we got to know each other well."

Her nose wrinkled. "So why now?"

"Well, he's probably going home soon, and I just . . ." He shook his head. He didn't want this to be about Shawn. He picked up his water glass. "How about you? Boyfriends?"

"Uh, yeah, actually." She shifted a little in her seat, and for the first time that day, he could see her nervousness. "Um . . . I was engaged."

He almost choked on his water. "Oh!"

"Yeah. Great guy, if you, uh . . . overlook the fact that he was cheating the entire time we dated."

"Ouch."

"I didn't find out until after he left me."

"I'm so sorry, Ashley." He wanted to reassure her that that was one thing he'd never do, but it didn't feel appropriate.

She shrugged. "I was fresh out of college. Haven't really dated since."

Given her appearance and the number of people she worked around, he couldn't believe no one else had ever asked her out. "Why now?"

She looked down, brow furrowed, but just then, the food came, and they were both preoccupied for just long enough that the question was forgotten. They settled into the familiar territory of patient and student stories, this time with a healthy mix of roommate and college professor stories, and for the first time in months, Jon didn't think about Shawn.

They headed to mini golf after their late lunch, but Jon hadn't called in advance—they were closed on Sundays. She suggested roller skating as an alternative, and he agreed happily, his mind imagining her losing her balance and falling into his arms.

He should have known it wasn't to be. She was a far better skater than he was. He spent much of the afternoon struggling to keep up, certain she would have slowed down if he'd asked but too prideful to admit he was slow. Lagging behind gave him a nice view of her in her element, though, laughing and enjoying herself, and when he dropped her off at home, he didn't have to ask her out on another date—she asked him what his plans were for Friday night.

Jon arrived at the Matthews a little before dark, pulling up to see Shawn and Cory playing basketball in the driveway. Shawn dropped the ball as Jon pulled up, lowering his head a little.

Jon's first instinct was to scold him on sight. He wasn't even supposed to be running; basketball was obviously against the rules. But he didn't really want to embarrass the kid in front of his best friend, so he just rolled down the window and said, "Hey. Ready to go?"

"Uh. Yeah," Shawn said. "I'm gonna go thank the Matthews."

"You do that," Jon said, while Cory gave him an awkward little wave and followed Shawn into the house.

Jon swallowed hard as he thought about what he had to do next. He needed to let the Matthews know what Shawn's rules were from his doctors, so Shawn couldn't deceive them in the future, but he also had to let Shawn know this wasn't okay. That meant he was probably going to have to cancel that date with Ashley as soon as he'd made it. Part of him wanted to lie to her about his reasons, but after her story about her fiancé, he couldn't do that.

Shawn trudged outside and climbed into the car, shamefaced. "Sorry," Shawn said.

"You should be. Did Mrs. Matthews ask whether you were allowed to play basketball?"

"I said it wasn't on the list of things I wasn't supposed to do. Which technically isn't lying."

"You're calling her to apologize when we get home."

"Fine," he grumbled.

"And you're grounded next weekend."

"Jo-on!"

Jon chose not to reply.

Shawn groaned, and he sat back in his seat, arms crossed and looking out of the window, but he didn't argue.

After Shawn had finished apologizing to Amy and stomped his feet all the way up the stairs to his bedroom, and Jon had gone over the doctor's rules with Amy while she apologized repeatedly, Jon took a deep breath and called Ashley.

She was the one who picked up this time. "Hello?"

"Hey, Ashley, it's Jon."

"Little eager, calling right after a date," she said, but there was a playful smile in her voice.

"Yeah...just, uh, calling to let you know I can't make it this Friday. Had to ground Shawn, so I'll have to stay home with him."

"Oh. Sorry about that. Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just real sorry. I was looking forward to our, uh...fifth date. Maybe next weekend?"

"Well, what time does he go to bed?"

"When he's grounded, it's lights out at ten."

"I could come by your place with ice cream and toppings around 10:30, if you're up for it? Might be a little shorter, but it's better than nothing."

"Oh, you don't have to..." Jon cut himself off. He had to get used to the idea that he could put Shawn first without completely depriving himself. He really wanted this, and she clearly did, too. "Yeah, okay. Sounds great."

"Good, it's a date. Night, Jon."

"Night, Ashley," he said, and despite everything, he hung up feeling like he was floating.

A/N: Some fluff to cut through the heaviness of the angst, but don't get used to it ;)