Chapter 33 - Family Day

It wasn't a family day out. He knew that. Jon wasn't Shawn's dad, and Ashley wasn't his mom. If Jon got to thinking that way, even for a minute, he'd be in so much more pain when all of this was over.

Jon sped down the highway toward the fair. Shawn had the window rolled down in the back, his hair rustling in the wind, and he and Ashley had spent the ride alternating between chatting about the end of the school year, singing along with the radio, badly, and playing car games with Jon. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen the kid smile this much.

Let it hurt, for all he cared. Let it tear him to pieces. Jon let himself smile. This was a family day out. It was their first and last. He was going to enjoy this if it killed him.

They pulled up in the parking lot, and Shawn leaned out of the window before the car had come to a full stop. "Hey!" he yelled, and he scrambled out of the car and raced to meet a group of teenagers Jon thought he might maybe recognize. Cory was still Shawn's only close friend, but even after his long absence, Shawn seemed to also be casual friends with just about everyone at school.

"Can I go with them?" Shawn pleaded as Jon was getting out of the car.

"Sure," Jon said, because he couldn't say no to that face. Not today. "Meet us back at the entrance lunchtime? Maybe 12?"

"Let's do 11:30, I always get hungry early at these."

"Alright."

Shawn grinned, and he took a few steps toward Jon. He had a hand out, and Jon thought he might be going for a hug or something—not that he'd ever done that publicly—but he realized before Shawn got too close that he was going to want money for the rides. Jon pulled his wallet and took out a couple of bills, and Shawn accepted them, whispering, "Win her something at one of the games. Girls like that," before running off.

Jon was still chuckling to himself as Ashley got out of the car. "What did he say?" she asked.

"Oh, nothing. Just, uh, thanked me for the money."

"Okay, what did he really say?" she asked, beginning to walk alongside him toward the fair entrance.

He laughed. "He says I should play a carnival game to win you the prize."

"Ah." She smiled, and it lit up the fair entrance. "He knows we're on hold, doesn't he?"

"He knows we're not going on any more dates until after his court hearing."

"That's not the same thing, is it?"

"Close enough." Jon wasn't going to press any further than that. He was too busy pretending. Today was going to be a good day.

Ashley nodded and gave him a look that told him she knew what he was doing. But she slipped her hand into his, and they walked side by side through the front entrance.

Jon took in the atmosphere—the smell of popcorn and funnel cakes and cotton candy, kids laughing and people screaming on the roaring rides in the distance, music playing over the speakers, lights flashing on the food booths and on the games up ahead, even though it was broad daylight.

"I'll try and win you a prize if you want," he teased.

She laughed. "As much fun as it would be to watch you try to beat rigged games, I'll let you save your money."

"You sure are picky about your clichés."

"Well, I'd have to carry around the stuffed animal for the rest of the day."

"Fair enough. Popcorn?" he offered.

She wrinkled her nose. "More of a funnel cake kinda girl."

"It's ten in the morning."

"I skipped breakfast."

"Well, in that case."

He went to grab a couple of funnel cakes, and they sat to eat. Her eyes fluttered closed on the first bite. "It's been years," she said. "I used to come to these with my sister. We'd save up for these."

Jon wasn't sure how long it had been for him, either, but it didn't seem like a good time to talk about how he'd never come to fairs as a kid because his parents thought it was something poor people did. Not when she'd just said she had to save for it.

"You should meet my sister sometime. You'd like her."

He smirked. "Inviting me to meet your family?"

Ashley shrugged. "I'm . . . inviting one close friend to meet another."

"And holding my hand on the way in?"

She looked up at him over her funnel cake. "Are you gonna be weird about this, Jon?"

He let his breath out. "No. I'm sorry."

"Cause, uh, I just came to have fun with you and Shawn."

"Me too." They could analyze their relationship another day.

She grinned and turned her attention back to her funnel cake.

They had enough time after finishing to wander around and see a few art exhibits, and to listen to a couple of bands playing, before it was time to meet Shawn at the front.

He was already there, pacing alone. He smiled widely when they arrived, running over to them. "I rode that spinning thing four times," he said.

"And you're not sick?" Jon asked.

"Are you kidding? I'm starving."

Jon laughed and came to walk alongside the kid. "Let's get you something to eat."

Shawn glanced critically over at Ashley, then back at Jon. "You haven't got her anything."

"I got her a funnel cake."

Shawn looked very disapproving.

They sat down with corndogs, burgers, and fried chicken—Jon almost told off Shawn for trying to sword fight a friend of his who came by, with the wooden skewers from the corndogs. He could feel Ashley watching him, like she wanted to know what he would do, but Jon decided to let them be kids.

"What are you guys doing after this?" Shawn asked as he downed the last of his soda.

"Hadn't talked about it," Jon said.

"I'd like to see the animals," Ashley said.

Shawn nodded. "Cool, I like animals."

Jon breathed in to ask where Shawn's friends had gone, but Shawn didn't seem torn up. And if he was honest with himself, the fact that Shawn wanted to hang out with them made his heart feel full.

They meandered through pens of chickens ("They walk so funny! Look at that one, Jon!") and goats ("Can I feed them, Jon? Please?") and bunnies ("They're so cute!"—that was Ashley). Ashley had stopped to play with one of the bunnies, and Jon glanced over to see that Shawn had moved on.

He was standing by the pig pens. Frozen, staring.

Jon took a deep breath. He knew exactly what Shawn was thinking.

Slowly, he came to stand beside Shawn, putting a hand on his back. "You okay?"

"Yeah." Shawn wiped at his eyes.

Jon shifted his weight, not sure what to say or whether to say anything. He stood there with Shawn for a long moment until the silence felt heavy, and he tried, "Maybe your dad would let you have a pet."

"It's not about having a pet. It's just . . ."

"You found him abandoned." It was why Jon couldn't say no. That whole thing had never been about the pig, as much as Shawn had loved it and taken care of it. "Maybe someday you'll find him again."

Shawn shook his head. "Little Cory got dropped off by his owners, and then he came to live with me, and then he got sent to another home. Even if I could get him back . . . I don't know if he'd even want to move back in with me again."

"That's a lot of moving around," Jon said.

"Yeah." Shawn sniffed.

This really wasn't about the pig. "Well, what do you think Little Cory would want?"

Shawn just kept watching the pigs, but he didn't shrug Jon's hand away. "I think he'd want to go back to his family," Shawn said.

"Even though they left him?"

Shawn didn't say anything. His eyes grew shiny.

"I bet he misses you. You gave him a good home."

"I couldn't keep him."

"You gave him what you could. That's all you can do, Shawn."

Shawn shrugged, looking away. "I didn't get to talk to his first owners," Shawn said. "Maybe they were going to come back for him. Maybe they've been looking for him, and they found him."

Jon felt his own throat starting to tighten. He pulled out his wallet again. "Why don't you go play some games?" he said, handing over some cash. "Uh, and get yourself some cotton candy." He gave him a couple more dollars.

Shawn nodded, and he hurried off.

Ashley came up beside Jon. "Everything okay?" she asked.

Jon took a deep breath. "Yeah," he said. "He'll be okay."

"How about you?"

"Ah." Jon wiped at his eyes. "Getting hay fever. Wanna head over to the rides? I hear there's a ferris wheel."

She took his hand once again. "Now, that's a cliché I like."

They took their time making their way over to the rides, stopping for several other exhibits and music groups, and eventually for dinner. Shawn had found some blonde girl and run after her, so he didn't join them at dinnertime.

Jon put his arm around Ashley on the Ferris wheel, and they watched the sunset from the top. He couldn't help thinking that Shawn would have just about chewed his head off if he found out that Jon didn't take the opportunity to kiss her.

Shawn was waiting for them at the bottom when they got there, with an ice cream cone. "Hey, Tess had to go home," he said. "And it's getting cold out here."

Jon held back a teasing remark about Shawn complaining about the cold while eating ice cream. "Ready to head out?"

Shawn nodded, and he went right over to Ashley. "How was your day?" he asked her.

"It was good," she answered, and the two of them started chattering away about their favorite things they'd seen at the fair. Jon smiled, walking with his hands in his pockets, letting their happiness wash over him. The perfect end to a perfect day.

They talked all the way to the car, but it didn't last longer than the first couple of minutes of the drive before Shawn fell fast asleep in the backseat.

All too soon, he was dropping Ashley off, exchanging whispered reminders about when and where they'd meet for the court hearing that week. All too soon, he was nudging Shawn awake, prompting him into the elevator and up the stairs to his room.

The whole day had put him out more than that hundred dollars Shawn had asked for when he first got his grades. He hadn't thanked Jon for it, either. But why should he? Kids didn't thank their parents for a family day. Besides, the pleasure had been Jon's own. He should be thanking Shawn.

By that reasoning, he had a lot to thank Shawn for.

Jon smiled as he got himself ready for bed, and he slept soundly.