Chapter 36 - Getting Away

Shawn was awake to take the pizza Jon offered, but other than when he dropped by with it, Jon didn't see him for the whole evening.

Meanwhile, Jon felt like he was going crazy, and he wished he could talk to someone. Ashley was working, and the Matthews weren't picking up the phone—in hindsight, he seemed to remember they were doing something to celebrate the start of summer. He thought about Eli, but Eli had always talked about how Jon wouldn't get to keep custody, and that wasn't what Jon wanted to hear right now—not that he had any idea what he wanted to hear. The only other person he'd talked to about his situation was Feeny, and Feeny just didn't seem like the kind of person he could call at home after a hard day.

So Jon spent some time pacing, some time picking at a slice of pizza that he couldn't finish, and some time staring at the TV without taking in anything that was happening.

Jon wasn't sure what to expect would happen the next day. He woke up the next morning on the couch to the sound of shuffling in the kitchen. He rolled over, rubbing his face. "Shawn?"

"Morning, Jon!"

Jon blinked and sat up. Shawn's voice sounded as cheery as ever, and he was sitting at the counter with a half-eaten slice of cold pizza.

"You're up early."

"It's like nine."

Jon looked down at his watch, then back up at Shawn. "Guess it is."

"I'm going to hang out with Cory today. You know, since it's summer now."

Jon still felt like he was having whiplash. It was as if Shawn had completely forgotten the day before—or like he thought it was a bad dream. "Shawn, are you okay?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Uh, just . . . wondering if you wanted to talk about . . ."

"No." Shawn looked at Jon like he was crazy.

Jon lifted his hands in surrender. "Where are you guys going?"

"Uh, I dunno. Skate park, basketball court, maybe go to the movies? We'll probably hit Chubbies, too. We're gonna be out all day."

"Okay. Just make sure you're back here by 11."

"What? But it's summer!"

"Still have a curfew."

"Yeah, but it should be later!"

"11's your curfew when you don't have school the next day."

Shawn groaned, but he didn't argue anymore as he brought his plate to the sink.

"Want a ride to the Matthews'?"

"Can I use the car?"

"Not if you're gonna be out all day."

"Oh, right." Shawn went over to the couch to start putting his shoes on. "Uh, I'll just walk."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah."

Jon nodded. "Be safe," he said.

"We'll think about it," Shawn said, and he headed out.

A moment after Shawn was gone, Jon belatedly picked up the phone and dialed the Matthews to make sure Shawn's plans were okay with them. They said it was fine, and they invited him over for lunch, which he almost declined but accepted at the last minute.

Jon spent the rest of the morning trying to clean himself up, inside and out. He spent a painfully intense session at the kickboxing studio, and he showered and changed and ate something, and he spent a little time on his hair. He was thinking about cutting it off—it would probably make him look older if he did, but that just felt appropriate after all he'd been through.

A few hours later, he was being welcomed into the Matthews' kitchen. They asked him how he was and commented on the end of the school year, but they didn't spend long on pleasantries before they all sat down and Amy addressed the elephant in the room.

"We didn't hear anything about what happened at Shawn's court hearing," she said.

"If you want to talk about it," Alan added quickly.

Jon sighed. "Shawn spent the whole day crying yesterday."

Amy brought a hand to her heart, her face showing the brokenness. "So Chet didn't show."

"Actually he did. Shawn gave his testimony, and there wasn't a dry eye in the room. The judge was willing to grant reunification on the spot. Well . . . probationary, anyway."

"Wow," Alan said.

"So what happened?" Amy asked.

"Uh . . ." Jon rubbed the back of his neck. "Chet declined. Said Shawn was lying in his testimony, and that he wasn't any good to anyone, so he wanted Shawn to stay with me."

Neither of them said anything. They just stared at Jon in shock.

"Yeah. Uh, Shawn ran after him, Chet told him he loved him and walked out."

"Well, no wonder he was crying," Amy said softly.

"Yesterday. Today he seems to be fine."

Amy smiled sadly, while Alan said, "Yeah, well, that's Shawn for you."

Somehow, knowing this was Shawn's usual coping strategy didn't make Jon feel much better.

"How are you holding up?" Alan asked.

Jon shook his head. "Ah, I don't think that matters."

"What do you mean?"

"This isn't about me."

"That's not how it works," Alan said.

Jon sighed and threw up his hands. "What do you want me to say? I feel like the worst man alive."

"Why?"

"Because . . . I wanted this."

"You wanted Shawn to get his heart broken?"

"I wanted to keep him. His heart's already been broken so many times, I just thought I could keep it from happening any more than it has to."

"What's wrong with that?"

Jon shook his head. "You didn't hear Chet. He told the judge Shawn looked better than he ever had, he . . . gave me credit."

"Sounds like you're doing something right," Amy said.

"Yeah, but Shawn's saying Chet left because of me. Told me he hates me."

"What did you do when he said that?" Alan asked.

"Uh. I told him that was okay, then I ordered pizza."

Alan smiled. "Sounds like you gave him what he needed."

"Still feel like a monster," he muttered.

"Shawn's going to need some time to process all of this," Amy said. "And you will, too."

"It's been a long year for him," Alan added. "He's spent more time in the hospital this year than out of it. I wonder if it wouldn't be good for him to get away for a little while."

"I offered to let him stay here," Jon said, then realized what he was saying. "Uh, I hope that was okay."

"Shawn is always welcome here," Alan told him. "But I don't mean away from you. I mean . . . away from everything. With you."

"I'm . . . not sure now's a good time for a family vacation."

"It wouldn't be that kind of trip. Yeah, do some fun things with him—God knows he needs that, after the year he's had. But keep your plans loose. Expect he'll have a few meltdowns, too."

"I don't know," Jon said. "I just don't think he wants to go anywhere with me right now."

"Maybe not. But . . . you gotta understand, Shawn's the kind of kid who likes to run away from whatever's bothering him. It's a miracle he never ran away from the hospital. I think it's worth making the offer to reward him for that alone."

"Is there anywhere he's talked about wanting to go?" Amy asked.

"I'll think about it," Jon said, but an idea had already taken root in his mind.

Jon went out with Eli and a few other guys in the evening. He didn't want to, but in the end, he was glad he did. It felt good to be away from things and in a fresh setting, which gave him the confidence to ask Shawn about the trip.

Jon stayed awake with a book until Shawn came in, five minutes after eleven.

"Sorry I'm late," Shawn said, kicking off his shoes.

Jon checked his watch and decided to let it go, since Shawn had apologized and he was barely late. "You have a good day?"

"Yeah!" Shawn went over to the pantry and started making himself a bowl of cereal. "Cory and I played basketball for, like, hours, and my leg didn't hurt at all!"

"That's great, Hunter." Jon went to stand by the counter, where Shawn was pouring milk over his cereal. "So, uh, got any plans for the summer?"

"Uh, just hanging out." Shawn gave him a funny look. "You sound like you're gonna ask me out on a date."

Jon rolled his eyes. "I was wondering if you might like to do some traveling."

"What, like, a vacation?"

"Yeah."

"Where?"

"Well . . . a couple of years ago, I made you a promise. Told you if you got your grades up . . .

"You want to take me to Europe?"

Jon shrugged. "Only if you're up for it."

"Can Ashley come?"

Jon hadn't exactly talked to her about it, though he had to admit it had crossed his mind. "We might be able to have her for part of it. I don't know how much time she can get off work."

"Oh yeah. Well, what about Cory?"

Jon really hadn't thought about that. "Maybe for part of it, yeah. Does that mean you wanna go?"

"I mean, yeah!" His eyes lit up. "Better than hanging around here."

"My thought exactly," Jon muttered. "Where do you want to go?"

"Wherever I want?"

"Wherever you want, Hunter."

Shawn looked suspicious. "Can we go to Italy?"

"Sure."

"Can we ski the alps?"

"If your leg is up for it." Jon wasn't about to turn down any request Shawn made. If Shawn was happy to be traveling with Jon instead of dreading the thought of spending a minute more with his guardian who wasn't his dad, Jon was going to make the absolute most of it that he possibly could.

"Do you know how to scuba dive?"

Jon blinked. "Yeah, but you don't."

"Yeah I do! I got certified by Feeny!"

"Oh!" He'd forgotten about the scuba club.

"Could we go in Europe?"

That was the last thing Jon had expected Shawn to request. "Uh, sure. There's some nice places in Malta."

Shawn's eyes went wide. "Are you really just gonna say yes to anything I ask for?"

"Just about."

"Nude beaches?"

"No."

Shawn looked deflated for a second, then he perked up. "Disneyland Paris?"

"If that's what you want to do."

"Wait. Is this a thing where I have to choose one of these?"

Jon looked Shawn in the eyes. "I need a couple of weeks to make arrangements, and I gotta be back a week before school starts. Do you want to spend the other six weeks in Europe?"

Shawn's eyes went wide. He pumped both fists in the air, laughing aloud, and his laughter might as well have been music.