Chapter 40 - Dreams

The next day was more of the same. Cory was a little subdued at breakfast, but Shawn was back to his normal self, which quickly snapped Cory out of his state. The two of them all but skipped into the park, but quickly split up when Shawn found a ride Cory didn't want to go on, after which Jon and Cory were left sitting on a bench, watching some parade.

Cory was quiet for the first few minutes, and Jon assumed he was immersed in the parade, even though it was obviously geared for kids half his age. So when Cory spoke, Jon missed what he said.

"What's that, Matthews?" he asked.

Cory looked over at Jon. "I know you've already made up your mind about the pool thing last night. But . . . it was my idea."

"That true?"

"Shawn was having a rough night."

Now Cory had Jon's full attention. "What was going on?"

"He wouldn't want me to tell you."

Jon let his breath out. He knew he wouldn't get a word out of Cory unless Cory wanted to share. "Anything I can help with?" he asked instead.

"I don't know."

"What's going on with him?"

"Promise not to tell him I told you?"

"I can't promise that."

Cory squirmed a little. "Promise to take good care of him?"

"Always."

"He was using the phone last night. Trying to make reservations for some fancy restaurant, for you and Ashley."

Jon rolled his eyes. "What's that got to do with—"

"And while he was using the phone, he decided to call his social worker."

"Tell me what happened."

Cory winced. "He's gonna be upset with me . . ."

"Matthews."

"Fine. He started asking about his mom, because . . . just 'cause his dad gave up, that doesn't mean his mom did."

"Has he even heard from her this year?"

"I guess she used to send letters. He hasn't seen her since you . . ." Cory winced.

"What did the social worker say?"

"His mom isn't actually his mom."

Jon felt like he'd just been punched in the stomach.

"Shawn was taking it pretty hard. Pacing in our room and stuff. So . . . I said we should go for a swim, take his mind off it."

Jon might have chuckled, if he hadn't felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. "You're a good friend."

"I just want him to be okay."

"Me too, Matthews."

"Are you gonna tell him I told you?"

Jon shook his head. "No, I won't. I just wish he'd been comfortable enough to tell me."

"I mean." Cory shrugged. "I don't tell my parents everything."

"I'm not his parent."

Cory looked at him like he was crazy. "Yeah, you are."

Jon didn't know what to say to that.

Cory sighed. "You know, Shawn would be really happy if you took him up on that dinner reservation with your girlfriend."

Jon looked over at Cory. "Think I should?"

"Do you love her?"

Jon looked back to the parade. This had officially gotten into territory he wasn't willing to discuss with his ward's teenaged friend.

"I think she really likes you," Cory prompted

He didn't get a chance to respond. Shawn came running up to them, grinning. "That was so cool!" he cried.

Jon stood to meet him, Ashley following close behind, smiling widely.

Jon searched Shawn's eyes, but there was nothing. No sign at all that Shawn was hurting deeply or that he'd lost another parent the night before. He looked nothing but happy.

A different kind of energy suddenly filled Jon. "What do you want to do next?"

Shawn looked to Ashley, who shrugged. "Uh," he said. "I want to do Thunder Mountain, but you guys just sat waiting for us."

Jon looked in the direction of the ride—it was huge, and loud, and people were screaming. "I'd go with you."

Ashley's voice caught, eyes wide, and Shawn's eyes lit up even more than they had been. "Really?"

"How bad can it be," Jon muttered, then looked over at Cory. "What do you say, Matthews?"

Cory's eyes begged for a second, then he caved. "Yeah," he said.

"Awesome!" Shawn grinned, and he ran off, leading the way.

On their last day in Paris, Jon finally gave into the demand Shawn had been making since they'd arrived. He asked Ashley out to an early dinner.

He did end up cancelling the reservation Shawn had made for them, because the place had been unaffordable and Jon doubted it was the type of food Ashley would have enjoyed, anyway. He was able to find a spot that was small and intimate, but a little simpler, and the menu looked a lot more enticing.

It was difficult to prepare for a date while staying in the same hotel suite as the girl he was going out with, but he ended up using Cory and Shawn's room, since they hadn't come back from the park just because Jon had to prepare for his date. He showered and put on the best clothes he had, which really weren't much, and he put on cologne and spent a good amount of time on his hair.

She was already waiting for him when he came out of the room. She wasn't overdressed, either. She'd put on a light yellow sundress, and she'd curled her hair slightly, but it was her smile that lit up the room.

The sight of her made his heart jump a little, but it was different than the other times he'd seen her dressed up. He wasn't intimidated at the thought of how much of a knockout she was or that she was out of his league. He was just overwhelmed by happiness that, even if she wasn't exactly his girlfriend, she was his.

Her eyes met his. "You look great," she said.

"You should talk." He held out an arm to her, and they headed out of the hotel together to meet the cab.

The restaurant was admittedly a lot more romantic than he'd been anticipating—low light with candles, soft music, white table cloths with flowers on the table. Jon had half a mind to find another place, but he decided to work with it. Shawn was right, after all—they were in Paris.

He pulled back the chair for her, passed the wine list back to the waiter, and ordered an appetizer with some obscene amount of cheese because he knew she'd like it.

Her face positively glowed, but she gave Jon a look as the waiter looked away. "So much for not dating," she told him.

"Oh, this is not a date," he said.

She laughed. "Oh, really?"

"Nah."

"Then what is it?"

"A consolation prize. Girl like you should be out every weekend, and you're holding back on the off-chance some broken tied-down loser might get it together enough to give you forever."

"Well, in the meantime, he's certainly making it worth my while."

He looked her in the eyes. "It'd be a shame if someone didn't."

"We're traveling the world together. That's a little more than I've ever gotten from a boyfriend."

"You deserve it."

Her eyes all but sparkled. "Well, date or not, thanks for inviting me."

"Thank Shawn. He loves you even more than I do."

She raised her eyebrows.

His voice caught. The words had just slipped out. "I . . ." He didn't exactly want to take it back, but he also didn't want to have said it in the first place. He didn't know how she'd take it.

She looked him right in the eyes. "I love you, too."

Warmth spread through him. He held out his hand for hers, and he kissed the back of her fingers.

Jon still felt like he was walking on air by the time they got back to the park. He realized he was a little overdressed for Disneyland, but they'd promised to meet Shawn out at a certain corner of a show arena by 7:30, and they'd be late if they stopped by the hotel room.

Shawn was there alone. "Where's Cory?" Jon asked as he took his seat, and Ashley sat on the other side of Shawn.

"He's tied up. On a payphone call with Topanga."

"So . . . he is dating her now?"

"Uh . . . it's really fifty fifty."

Jon rolled his eyes, and he leaned back in his seat. He figured it was just as well that Shawn had sat between him and Ashley; he would have put his arm around her.

The show started, with music and fireworks, singing and dancing. Shawn's eyes were wide and locked onto the show. Jon kept a half an eye on him, but ended up being drawn in by the performance.

Until the last line, when the voice over the speaker ended the show with, "Remember, dreams come true." And the finale fireworks lit up the sky.

Jon looked over at Shawn then. His eyes were watering. He brushed his tears away, and he applauded with everyone else when the show ended.

They made their way out of the arena. Jon's throat felt like it was stopped up, but Ashley gave a nod toward Shawn, and Jon cleared his throat. "You doing okay, Hunter?"

"Yeah," he said, but his voice cracked.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, it was just kinda stupid."

"You seemed to be enjoying it."

"Like, it's fine, for little kids. Just really cheesy. I mean . . . Dreams come true?"

Jon stopped walking and turned to look at Shawn. His eyes were red, and he kept trying to look away. "You sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine! Why do you keep . . ." His voice cracked again.

"Cory told me."

Shawn rolled his eyes, and they shone. "What does that have to do with the show?"

"You tell me."

Shawn glared at Jon. "Dreams come true? Does anyone believe that?"

Jon swallowed hard, but Ashley took a step closer to Shawn on the other side. "I do," she said quietly.

"Yeah?" Venom dripped from his voice. "Did your dad ever get drunk and hurt you? Then leave you?"

". . . Yes."

His chin trembled, his face crumpled, and he burst into tears into his hands.

Jon and Ashley wrapped their arms around him from either side. Jon didn't expect Shawn to let him, but to his astonishment, Shawn turned toward him, wrapping his arms around Jon and burying his face in his shoulder as he cried. Jon held him close and cradled the back of his head, and Ashley stayed close, hand on Shawn's back.

Shawn sobbed out something Jon couldn't hear. "What's that?" Jon asked.

Shawn sniffed. "I miss them so bad."

"I know," Jon said.

"I'm never gonna see my mom again."

Jon knew better than to deny it.

Shawn cried hard enough that families were staring at Jon, but he didn't care. He just held Shawn tighter than he ever had, riding out the wave of grief with him.

After a long few minutes, his tears slowed, and his grip on Jon loosened. Shawn let go, wiping his tears away, and took a deep breath. "Sorry," he said.

"Nothing to apologize for," Jon said gently.

"Guess we should go get Cory. Park's about to close."

"We've got another hour. And if he's talking to Topanga, he'll be a while. One more run on space mountain?"

"It's not even called that here," Shawn mumbled.

"So you don't want to go?"

Shawn sniffed and wiped his face. "No, I do."

Jon looked over at Ashley, who smiled. "Okay," Jon said.

Shawn led the way, and Jon and Ashley walked behind him. When he was sure Shawn wasn't looking, Jon slipped his hand into Ashley's, and he kissed her hand again.