A couple of notes: I know that some of you want me to focus on present day events, but please bear with me for the next few chapters as I intersperse flashbacks with the current story. Flashbacks in this story are so vital to understanding the background, so I have to make sure that I set them up correctly. After we get the foundation worked out, then the story will be almost exclusively set in the present.
The first flashback takes place shortly after Blair's visit from chapter two, when Chuck was drunk and told her to leave him alone. The second flashback is several months later, after he's kind of gotten himself together.
Another note: In this particular fic, Serena never slept with Dan while Blair was dating him, none of the events of 5x24 happened as they occurred on the show.
Chapter 4
Present Day
Nate checked his watch yet again. He wasn't known for his punctuality, but she was already over thirty minutes late. With each passing second, his anxiety blossomed in his chest to an unbearable degree. He had no other choice than to get her on board, but he knew that that was easier said than done.
Finally, forty-seven minutes after the time they'd scheduled, she flounced into the restaurant and seated herself across from him. "Sorry," she waved her hand dismissively as if she just expected that he would forgive her tardiness without a second thought, "I'm only in town for a short while, and I had to stop by Mom's or I would never hear the end of it."
"You're almost an hour late," he accused.
"I explained to you why."
"Yeah because you're the only one whose time is valuable," he rolled his eyes, already frustrated by her lackadaisical attitude.
"What's going on?" her blue eyes softened slightly. Nate never seemed this unnerved, and she could tell something was weighing on him. Perhaps her tardiness had been a bit more selfish than she'd originally thought. She was just so used to Nate's easygoing nature that she hadn't expected his irritation. "I'm sorry I was late. It was inconsiderate."
He nodded, silently accepting her apology. "I've had a lot on my mind."
"Go on," she urged gently.
"Blair wants to see you."
Serena's glass clinked against her teeth as her eyes shot straight to Nate in surprise. "What?"
"Blair has asked to see you…and Chuck, but that's a whole different story." He could see her face settling into resolve before he even had a chance to explain.
"I have nothing to say to her," she crossed her arms over her chest in indignation.
"Come on, Serena," he pushed. "She misses you, and I know you miss her, too."
"You don't understand, Nate." She shook her head. "There's no reason for me to see her. We grew apart. I moved away, and our friendship died because of it."
"That's bullshit and you know it," he rebutted, earning an icy glower from the blonde across from him.
"Why is all of this coming up now?" she questioned. "She hasn't made a single attempt to contact me in over two years."
"We messed up."
"I don't know what all of this 'we' business is about," she narrowed her eyes.
"Fine, I messed up," he admitted. "But I can't fix it alone."
"What's there to fix? Chuck's happily engaged. He's doing better than he ever has."
"We were so focused on helping Chuck that we abandoned our other friend. Blair's miserable."
Serena huffed stubbornly and retorted, "Blair brought it on herself."
"Maybe, but we - I - didn't help matters, either."
She could see the guilt written behind his blue eyes, and her heart ached for one of her oldest friends. He'd always been the most loyal of the four of them, and she knew that balancing his friendships with the three of them had been difficult since their falling out. "Okay," she nodded softly. "One dinner, but I'm not sure what good you think it'll do. I'm not doing anything to hurt Chuck."
"This isn't really about Chuck right now," Nate reminded her gently. "It's about Blair. She needs a friend – not me, not after what I did."
"You've been good to her, Nate." She reached across the table and rested her hand atop his. "You've been there for her through everything. You really need to forgive yourself for one small mistake that you made over two years ago."
"That small mistake took our friends' autonomy away from them. I made a choice for them that they didn't even know they could make for themselves."
"Come on, Nate," Serena sighed. "You're being a bit dramatic. They hadn't even spoken to each other in three years before you intervened, so I don't think –"
He immediately shook his head, stopping her assumptions. "That's not completely true. I don't know how much contact they had, but I do know that they'd at least been in touch. They just did it very quietly."
Serena's mouth dropped open at his revelation, but she couldn't quite wrap her mind around exactly what he was telling her. Her understanding had always been that the last time Chuck and Blair had spoken was the night he'd almost ended it all – the night that she'd had nightmares about for months afterwards. "Nate, we had to protect him. Blair was never in danger, but Chuck –" her voice trailed off, unable to complete the dark thoughts forming in her mind.
"I know," he exhaled. "I know."
"That night -" she closed her eyes, swallowing hard to keep tears from forming in her eyes. "He can't go through that again."
"He won't," he assured her. "He's got Caroline now. We won't do anything to hurt him, I promise. But now that he's in a good place, we owe it to Blair to help her find the same happiness."
XOXO
August 2012
"Thanks for meeting me," Serena greeted Nate in the lobby of the Empire. "Mom hasn't heard from Chuck in a couple of weeks, and she's starting to get worried. I told her that he's just nursing a broken heart, and he'd be back to his playboy ways soon enough, but –"
"I just saw him last week," Nate said. "He was drunk off his ass but otherwise fine. I'm sure that's the same thing we'll find this time."
"All the same, we should check on him so that Mom can get a little peace of mind. She's stressed enough as it is…"
"So she's really going to leave Rufus and go back to Bart, huh?" Nate asked, his disdain obvious in the thick tone of his voice.
Serena nodded, "Seems that way."
"And Bart hasn't seen Chuck?"
Serena's cheeks heated with anger toward her soon-to-be-once-again step-father. "Since he cut him out of the company and basically told him that he was pathetic for loving Blair, he doesn't have time for the son he abandoned; he's too busy reclaiming Bass Industries."
"Bart's always been a selfish asshole," Nate sneered, swiping his key to take him to the penthouse. Even though he'd moved out months earlier, his access card still worked.
"Chuck," Serena called out into the darkness as the doors dinged open. "Maybe he's not here," she turned to Nate with a shrug.
"Wait," Nate's heart thudded against his chest as he listened closer to the silence. "Do you hear that?"
Serena followed him into the bedroom where the sound grew louder. A low whimper accompanied a light scratching noise somewhere in the suite. Realization hit Nate first as he ran to the master bathroom and yanked on the door handle to no avail. Monkey let out an anxious bark from the other side as Nate knocked on the door, calling out loudly, "Chuck?! Are you in there?"
Monkey's claws continued to make contact with the back of the door, a pitiful whine squeaking from his throat as he desperately tried to get someone's attention.
Nate hoisted his body weight against the door several times until it wore down beneath the pressure, sending shards of wood flying in each direction as it caved around the hinges. "Oh, my God," he muttered, momentarily shocked at the sight before him.
Chuck's body lay crumbled in a heap around the toilet, blood seeping from an open wound on his head, his arms and hands splintered with gashes from the broken liquor bottles littering the bathroom. A smaller container rested just outside his grasp, dozens of nondescript pills spilling out around it.
Serena's scream echoed off the walls, her knees growing weak before her body fell to the floor, enveloped in darkness as she lost consciousness.
XOXO
Several days later, he awoke from the medically-induced coma to find his sister and best friend at his side. He blinked slowly, grogginess blurring his vision. He reached his hand to his head, his movements restricted from the IV lodged in his hand. The bandaged wound on his head explained the massive pounding behind his eyes, and slowly the events returned to his memory in vague detail.
"Hey," Serena said gently when she saw his eyes open for the first time. She swatted tears away, trying her best to remain strong for his sake. "You gave us quite a scare."
He closed his eyes again, shaking his head, he whispered, "I'm sorry."
"You have nothing to be sorry for," she rubbed his hand softly, forcing a smile. "We're here for you…no matter what."
Nate finally spoke for the first time, his voice quiet, his eyes glassy. "I should've come sooner…I didn't -"
"None of that, Nathaniel," Chuck smirked, arching an eyebrow in a futile attempt to lessen the tension in the room.
"I've been so selfish." Serena's lip quivered with the weight of her confession. "I didn't realize how bad it was this time. I never thought you'd actually –"
"I didn't mean for it to happen." Chuck's eyes grew darker as he tried to recall the night that had landed him in the hospital. "I wasn't trying to hurt myself, not really. I just -" He exhaled, his chest tightening painfully under heavy breaths.
"It's okay," Nate cut in. "You don't have to explain."
Chuck ignored him and continued, "I wasn't trying to kill myself."
Serena let out a low sob, relief melding into the sorrow she already felt. What were the odds that she would fail to protect both of her brothers when it really mattered? How did she not see the warning signs? She blamed herself, and honestly she also blamed Nate, for chalking his most recent spiral up to being Chuck Bass instead of a real cry for help. "Then what happened?" she prodded gently.
"I just got so fucking tired of the pain," he rasped out. "The alcohol wasn't working anymore, so stupidly I mixed the wrong pills and ended up here."
"Chuck -"
"She came to see me last week." He yanked at the IV irritably, wincing when he pulled it a bit too forcefully.
"We don't have to talk about -"
Chuck shook his head. "She came to see me, saying she broke up with Humphrey, but I can't do it again. I love her, but I can't trust her, and I can't live without her. It's just too much -" he paused, taking a breath, feeling the need to finally let the emotions out without fear of seeming weak. "So I tried to focus on work, and then Bart cut me out, and now I have nothing."
"We're here," Serena promised. "We'll always be here."
"I can't stop thinking about her," Chuck closed his eyes, exhaustion settling into his body, "I've given so much of myself to her that I don't have anything left for myself. Bart was right about that much. Every decision I made revolved around her; my entire life revolved around her, and when she broke me -" He stopped talking then; he'd already said too much, he'd confessed to thoughts that should've stayed buried.
Violent fury raged through Serena's veins at Blair's selfishness. Chuck perhaps had to take ownership of his own actions, but Blair had stoked a fire that she had to know had the capacity to burn out of control. She'd repeatedly abandoned him and then had the temerity to approach him at his most vulnerable. She left him in shambles because she was too focused on her own selfish goal of winning him back without actually putting forth the effort to earn his trust. For the longest time, Serena'd considered herself Blair's biggest supporter; she thought that she would always take her side, no matter what, but now as she looked at her brother, beaten down and defeated, clinging to life, she didn't even recognize Blair anymore. Where was the girl who would've done anything to protect Chuck, his staunchest champion? The girl who once upon a time had protected Chuck from Serena projecting her own abandonment issues onto him when his mother betrayed him?
Chuck's hoarse voice broke into her thoughts with a stern warning. "Don't tell Blair."
"But -" Nate cut in before Serena could protest.
"I have to learn to live without her." He looked away, swallowing back the bile rising in his throat. "If she knew, she'd never give me a chance to breathe on my own."
A little while later, Bart knocked on the door, requesting a moment with his son. The nurses warned him that Chuck needed his rest, but he told them that he wouldn't be long. He explained to Chuck that he'd spoken with the Ostroff Center about arranging transfer to one of the country's most respectable private rehabilitation centers. Chuck could see the sincerity in his father's eyes when he told him that all he wanted was for him to get better. He ended with, "I know I've been hard on you, son, and I apologize for that. Focus on healing for the next three months, and then we can discuss your place in the company."
When Nate and Serena left, they made each other a silent promise that they would do everything in their power to protect Chuck from himself – even if it meant protecting him from Blair.
XOXO
Present Day
Blair looked up at the all-too familiar building whose doors she hadn't darkened in years. She'd actively avoided the Empire, doing her best to give him the space he'd requested, but, now, it was unlikely that any of the present staff would recognize her. Surely, she could sneak in unnoticed.
With new resolve, she straightened her blazer, hiked her purse strap up her arm, and marched into the lobby as if it was an entirely normal occurrence. She found the elderly concierge at the front desk and groaned internally when she immediately recognized him as a long-term employee. Perhaps in his old-age, he wouldn't remember her. Admittedly, her features had grown more defined in her twenties than the softer lines of her teen years.
"Hi, Gerald," she plastered on a megawatt smile and read his name tag in a way of greeting. "How are you doing on this beautiful spring day?"
"Good morning, Miss," he smiled back, but there was a suspicious glint reflecting in his eyes as he studied her. "How may I help you today?"
"I was hoping Miss Caroline Whitlock is in." She batted her eyelashes innocently.
"Do you have an appointment?" the older gentleman asked skeptically.
Blair donned a pout that she hoped would earn her some pity. "I don't unfortunately, but I work for Waldorf Designs, and we would really like to speak with her about an opportunity to -"
Gerald immediately started clicking keys on his computer screen, seeming to ignore Blair's request. She grew impatient with his rudeness, instinctively crossing her arms over her chest until he looked up at her with a look of annoyance etched into the wrinkles around his eyes. "Miss Waldorf," he gruffed, "You've been permanently banned from the Empire. I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
"But I -"
"Miss Waldorf," his voice grew in warning, "Once again, I suggest you leave before I call security and have you physically removed. If that doesn't keep you out, then we will call the police to arrest you for trespassing."
Blair's cheeks grew red with a mixture of anger and embarrassment. She narrowed her eyes at the concierge and snapped "I won't forget this, Gerald" as she stomped out of the building, her dignity hanging on by the thinnest thread.
XOXO
February 2013
Blair wailed in distress as she stepped directly into an oversized puddle, drowning her favorite Jimmy Choos in rainwater. Her hair was drenched, sticking haphazardly to her neck, and her dress was likely ruined. She'd have to book a blow-out to rectify the damage. She narrowed her eyes at the bell-boy loading luggage onto a cart after he refused to give her his umbrella. Of course, she'd chosen the most miserable day to confront him, but she was committed to her cause and nothing would cause her to stray from her mission.
She waited for him impatiently, far enough from the entrance that the overbearing manager wouldn't run her off but close enough that she wouldn't miss his exit. She knew his schedule by heart, which is how she knew that he would have to leave in the next hour if he was going to make his Monday evening board meeting on time.
She couldn't believe that he'd had the audacity to ban her from the Empire. He was being so stubborn; it was ridiculous. How hard could it be on him to just give her a few minutes of his time? She knew she had hurt him, but he was really overreacting with this ongoing tantrum that he seemed to be throwing. She'd given him space like he asked. It had been months since she'd tried to approach him, minus the occasional Happy Holidays texts, and, okay, the ill-advised I miss you, how are you doing, and I've been thinking of you texts – all of which had gone unanswered. Regardless, his behavior now was childish.
As the monsoon worsened and lightning streaked across the dark sky, she drew her arms tightly around her body in near defeat. The sidewalk was almost empty now, and she wondered if somehow he'd seen her, if maybe the rude bell-boy had tipped him off, and he'd left through the back entrance. She just wanted to talk to him; if she could get him to listen to her, then -
Her eyes caught sight suddenly of a head of coiffed brown hair under a large black umbrella, and she darted toward him, her feet squelching against the wetness pooling in her shoes, before he could duck into the limo.
"Chuck, please!" she cried out like a mad-woman, skidding to a halt directly in front of him.
His jaw tightened as he inhaled sharply through his nose. "Clearly banning you from the building wasn't a big enough hint," his tone was so cold a shiver slid down her spine, "Perhaps I need to take out a restraining order, too."
"I just want to talk, just give me a minute -"
He grasped her arm tightly, not an ounce of gentleness left in him, and pulled her to the side of the building away from the few prying eyes curiously eavesdropping on their heated discussion. "You've got 30 seconds."
Her lip quivered, and he looked away, unwilling to pay her any sympathy. "I miss you."
"Goodbye, Blair," he said, no emotion left in his voice. The finality of his words broke something inside of her.
"I know you're hurt, but -"
"I'm not hurt, Blair," he snapped, causing her to jump in alarm, "I'm really fucking pissed."
She felt her chest tighten; she'd never get used to his anger being directed at her. In the past, he'd shut her out and grown despondent, but he never yelled at her. Tentatively, she reached her hand up to cup his cheek in her palm, and he flinched under her touch. "Don't let your anger destroy us," she pleaded.
He yanked her hand away from him as if she'd burned him with her touch and spat, "That was you, Blair. You destroyed us."
"I made a mistake, Chuck, but I've forgiven you for much worse -"
He closed his eyes, his fists balling at his sides in frustration. She wasn't listening; she couldn't understand his anger because she couldn't accept her own responsibility in tearing them apart. "'A' mistake was crashing my therapy session so that you could turn your fiancé back into Prince Charming, 'a mistake' was kissing Dan Humphrey in my bedroom, 'a mistake' was slapping me across the face because you refused to believe that I had actually become a decent person, 'a mistake' was marrying another man in front of me…all of those mistakes add up, Blair."
"I was scared," she sniffled, tears coalescing with raindrops on her ruddy cheeks, "But I'm not anymore. I love you, and I'm ready to be with you."
"It's always about you, though, isn't it?" He scoffed at the selfishness in her words, "Now that you're ready, I'm supposed to magically accept that?"
She shook her head, her voice shaking desperately, "I just need you to believe me one more time."
"Believing you has gotten me nothing but a broken heart. I believed you when you told me you loved me ten minutes before deciding that we can't be together because you have to become a powerful woman first; I believed you when you told me that you wanted to raise your baby with me and spend the rest of our lives together; I believed you when you said that we needed to wait a little longer so that we could be together as equals." He swallowed hard, a painful lump lodging in his throat. "But I also believed you when you said that I would never be ready for a relationship and when you told me that you weren't in love with me anymore. Your promises mean nothing to me."
She let out a wretched sob, her entire body wracked with emotion as she saw for the first time the extent of the damage she'd caused, but if he'd just listen to her, she could explain away each of those instances. "I know you still love me," she all but whispered, imploring him to remember that one truth that had always brought them back together.
"Probably so, but love isn't worth a damn thing without trust, and I'm not sure that I can ever trust you again. We've broken each other too many times, and now there's nothing left." He turned to walk away, shoving his hands into his pockets as a boulder sank into his chest. He stopped for a brief moment and called over his shoulder, "You've told me repeatedly for the past year to move on and that's what I'm trying to do. If you really do love me, just let me go."
XOXO
Present Day
"She what?!" Chuck growled into the phone when Gerald called him with the news. "No, I'm sorry," he bit back his anger as he addressed one of his most loyal employees. "You did the right thing. Thank you for letting me know."
He poured several fingers of scotch, his hands shaking with rage before seating himself at the desk in his office. He cued the security cameras in the lobby to the appropriate time stamp and watched the doors on baited breath. As soon as her elegant form stepped foot into the camera's view, he knew without a doubt that it was her. The pulse in his throat jumped as he watched her flatter the older man by batting her lashes and smiling like a fucking ingénue.
His blood ran thick and hot through his veins as he watched her perky little expression flatten into one of dismay followed by outrage. He could've predicted to the second the changes in her countenance; she was still Blair – her reactions, her features, her movements, the infuriating way he knew exactly how high her lips would curl into that little devious smirk. Everything about her was still so familiar, and that caused the bitterness boiling inside of him to bubble over.
He slammed the laptop shut with a growl. What was her angle? Was she baiting him? She would never let him know peace.
He downed his scotch, leaning back in his chair to gather his wits about him. He couldn't let her get to him; he'd spent years disentangling himself from her snares, and he couldn't afford to let her pull him back in.
He couldn't be sure how long he let his mind wander down a dangerous path before he regained his bearings, but some time later, maybe an hour, maybe more, Caroline knocked lightly on his office door, peeking her head inside. "Hey," she said quietly, "Are you busy?"
When he looked up to find his fiancé's delicate features dotted with concern, he softened and beckoned her to him. "I've always got time for you."
She took the space between his legs, leaning against his desk while he rested his forehead against her abdomen. Her fingers threaded through his hair in soothing strokes and she spoke gently, "You seem stressed."
"Just work," he gruffed, pulling her down onto his lap and wrapping his arms around her waist. If he could get lost in her warmth, the dark thoughts swarming his mind weren't so loud.
She tipped his chin up so that she could connect their lips in a sweet kiss. "I'm so proud of you, you know that, but I don't like seeing you work yourself to death."
"I'm fine," he caressed her back in reassurance, "Nothing that some down time with you won't fix." He studied her earnest expression – his Caroline, the woman who had proven time and time again that she'll never abandon him, the woman who would be waiting for him at the end of the aisle in the matter of months. His stomach revolted, and he knew he'd had too much to drink. He mentally cursed Blair's ability to affect his physical well-being as well as his mental stability. "What did you want to talk about?" he asked, finally remembering that Caroline had appeared in his office for a reason.
She stood from his lap, lifting herself onto his desk across from him so that she could look him in the eye. "I just got an email from a fashion house interested in bringing me on as the face of their campaign," her voice remained even, not betraying the equal part nerves and excitement that coursed through her.
A genuine smile, one she didn't get to see that often anymore, spread across his face, radiating the pride he felt in his girlfriend's self-made accomplishments. "That's incredible." He smoothed his palm down her arm to interlace their fingers. "I never doubted you for a second."
She offered him a shy smile of gratitude, but it dropped quickly as she spoke her next words. "There's one small problem…okay, not a problem exactly, but an issue maybe."
He inhaled deeply, unsure of what downside there could be to headlining an entire campaign. It had been her goal since the day he met her, and she'd worked her ass off to get there. "Whatever it is, we'll figure it out. You deserve this."
"The campaign is for Waldorf Designs." Her words were so meek that he was certain he'd heard her wrong.
But then he remembered Blair's intrusion, her conversation with Gerald, her demands to see Caroline. It all made sense. He wouldn't give her an audience, so she was working around him in true Blair Waldorf fashion.
"You've got to be fucking kidding me," he growled, pushing himself out of his seat with more force than necessary. Caroline flinched when the chair toppled over with a loud bang, the wheels spinning in uncontrollable circles.
A look of hurt fluttered across Caroline's blue eyes, and she blinked away the tears that surfaced. "Whoa," she held up her hands in surrender, "I knew that it would be a touchy subject for you, but I didn't expect -"
He pinched the bridge of his nose, forcing his shoulders to relax. "I know. I'm sorry."
"This is a huge milestone in my career, though, Chuck," she implored him to understand.
"She -" his voice dripped with disdain at the mention of his ex, "is doing this to get to me."
Caroline's hands immediately flew to her hips. She narrowed her eyes and said, "This isn't about you. This is about something I've worked my entire adult life for. Perhaps my body of work speaks for itself."
"Yes, Caroline, you're incredibly talented and deserving of every campaign there is," he exhaled slowly, trying to keep the condescension out of his words. "But I know Blair, and this is just a game to her. She's using you."
Her lips tightened into a thin line, and she swallowed hard. "Nice to know how much you believe in me."
"Dammit, Caroline," he huffed in frustration. "Open your eyes. Why do you think that you're just now getting a call from Waldorf Designs? You've never been granted a single go-see from them, all the while Saint Laurent, Gucci, Prada, and Ralph Lauren are beating down our door for you to walk in their shows. Doesn't the timing strike you as a little odd when Nate just mentioned how she wanted a meeting?"
"Either way," she held her chin high, "this is not an opportunity I plan to waste. Who cares if she wants to meet me because she's curious about the woman her ex is planning to marry? It won't change anything."
"You don't know her like I do."
"Clearly, I don't, and I don't plan to, either. It's a working relationship, that's all." She crossed her arms over her chest, enraged with his stubbornness.
"You're not doing it." He stood up in front of her, his voice filled with a finality that she would've found laughable if she weren't so angry.
"You think you can stop me? This is my career on the line, not yours." She leaned against his desk once more. "I'm not a woman you can intimidate into submission, Chuck. Your word isn't the be-all-end-all."
He sighed, knowing that this was a battle he would lose. They could continue arguing over it, but she would not back down when she thought he was wrong. She was usually fairly open to compromise, but she'd been controlled her entire life – first by her father and then by her management firm. She'd made it abundantly clear when they started dating that she would never be controlled by a man, and he never tried – until now.
He nodded reluctantly, pulling her back to him so that he could push her hair from her face. "Just give me a few days before you respond. Give me time to wrap my mind around this."
"Twenty-four hours," she relented. "I don't want to risk them going with someone else."
He pressed a kiss to her temple and formulated a lie that he didn't even feel guilty about in the moment. "I need to go into the office for a few hours to finish up some paperwork for my meeting with the Carlson group in the morning."
When Caroline retreated to their bedroom, he pulled out his cell phone to text Arthur: "Need to run a quick errand."
Arthur's response was immediate: "Of course, sir. Where to?"
Chuck hesitated for just a moment before tapping out the destination that his long-employed chauffeur never thought he'd see again: "Waldorf Designs."
A/N: Keep in mind that there are a lot of things that the characters either don't know or don't fully understand. There are still a few key details missing that will be revealed in future chapters. They're really hard on Blair in this chapter, and while their frustration is warranted, it's probably overly-exaggerated due to hurt feelings, misunderstandings, and high emotions. Chuck and Blair are my babies, and I promise you that I'll take care of them, but in the meantime, they're going to go through some things. You may also notice Chuck's contradictory reactions to Blair; that's entirely intentional. Chuck's accidental overdose in this chapter came about due to a number of factors: his father's betrayal, his lack of direction without Bass Industries, Blair's repeated abandonment, etc. He didn't spiral just because of Blair, but she was certainly a contributing factor.
I got a little nervous about this story and considered abandoning it because I sometimes I feel like I've bitten off more than I can chew. This story morphed from a prompt wanting to see a role-reversal in season 5 to wanting to explore 1. Blair facing up to her many mistakes in season 5 and 2. Chuck actually trying to move on from the turmoil that often colored the CB dynamic in a similar vain to Blair's canon storylines.
I'm so grateful for the detailed and thoughtful reviews I've received here, along with the encouraging CCs on Twitter. You all really don't know how much it means to me. I anxiously await your thoughts on this chapter. :)