Ramona had been busy all morning.
In her pocket, folded gently, was a letter she had not yet decided if she wanted to use. It was on her mind every step of every potion she made, to the point of some distraction, so when there was a knock at her station door, pulling her attention back to the present.
"Lupin, you have a lunch guest- go ahead and take your break." a coworker, Shaun, poked his head in and then back out. Ramona looked over, confused, then shrugged and finished up what she'd been working on.
At the end of the hallway where the potioneers worked was a bench, and upon the bench sat Remus. He had a bag from one of Ramona's favorite sandwich shops beside him, and he was flipping through a paperback novel that had obviously been rolled and shoved into his pocket several times.
"Thought you two might be hungry." Remus nodded to where his sister's stomach had a small bit of bloat to it now. Someone who didn't know what they were looking for might miss it, but Remus recognized the changes in his very petite sister.
"Starving, actually." She snorted, covering her small bump with her hand.
"Its not raining today, lets sit outside." Remus said, nodding toward the door. He stood and picked up the bag, and Ramona followed along.
"You've lured me out with food, so tell me what I actually owe the pleasure of your company today." Ramona teased as she sat at a picnic table in the visitor garden.
"Did you know..." Remus started, popping a crisp into his mouth, "That today, my little niece or nephew, is the size of a lemon?"
Ramona sat back in her seat for a second, raised and eyebrow, and then unwrapped her food.
"What?" She laughed.
"Nymphadora bought Sirius a book." Remus explained, "And he's been stuck inside it for a good two days. Twelve weeks- baby is the size of a lemon. There is a fruit or vegetable for each week. He's been telling anyone he can corner about it."
Ramona stopped and looked at her brother, who didn't seem to notice how the information he'd just given her at impacted her emotions. She hated how easily she would tear up now, not that it was her fault, but when she imagined Sirius nose deep in a pregnancy guide, bragging about their child- it melted her a bit.
"Why are you here, Rem?" Ramona ask her brother, clearing her throat as she did, blinking away any tear that dared try escape.
"Well, to feed you." Remus started with a shrug. "And to tell you about the lemon thing. I thought it was neat."
"Don't lie to me." Ramona snapped. Remus stopped picking at his food and met his younger sister's eyes.
"I wanted to check on you." He shrugged. "You can't keep disappearing, you know. There are..." Remus stopped and looked around the courtyard. "You know it isn't safe."
"I come to work, I go home, and roughly half the time I have an auror with me." Ramona replied flatly. "And I'm not exactly incompetent as a witch, either, you know. And you know what else? I never said I was moving into Grimmauld with him. Not full time, not part time. For Merlin's sake I was living out of an overnight bag."
"Alright, I'm going to level with you." Remus sighed. "I came to ask you what you're planning to do. Sirius is going out of his mind, and that isn't on you, I know. But, it is hard to watch. Know you can't help... He just sits and worries all the time. Scared for you and the baby, and he just gets trapped in his own mind. He thinks you hate him and-"
"I don't hate him." Ramona interrupted.
"Well, he loves you. So maybe you should let him know you don't hate him." Remus snapped.
"I think you need to back off and decide right now if you're in this as my brother, or his?" Ramona snapped back, matching his tone.
"I love you both- all three of you... However you'd have me put it. Times are dark, I just want to-" Remus roughly ran a hand through his hair, pushing it back. "Fuck it, I'm meddling. You need to come talk to him. About everything. Just- lay it all out."
"I know that." Ramona bit back. "I am trying really hard, Remus. But you should know why I can't just..."
"He'd never lay a hand on you. And if he did, I'd handle it, just like last time." Remus replied quietly.
Ramona nodded and took a bite of her sandwich. She and her brother had been round and round before, both of them independent and antisocial people, both wanting more for the other. Ramona had been in a relationship with a man who at first, seemed to want to give her the world. It wasn't long before he manipulated her into his complete control, and when she finally tried to leave, he'd beat her to the point of hospitalization.
By some manner of coincidence, the same boyfriend went missing the following week, and was finally found in the German countryside over a month later, hysterically telling the local muggle authorities there that a 'werewolf was trying to murder him', though he had nothing on his body that could prove anyone had done him any harm, he never did return to the UK. Remus never said a word about it, he merely came to the hospital and took her home.
After a long silence and the rest of her sandwich, Ramona finally sighed and looked up at her brother.
"I do love him, too, you know." She said quietly. "But I'm too scared and I can't say it right now. I don't want to hear it back and then find out later what he really loved was the baby I'm growing for him- because the kid is his regardless. He could be in their life no matter what."
"It isn't because of the baby, but this isn't a conversation you should have with me." Remus assured her. "He's the equal opposite of you. You're cautious, careful, generally very guarded... He loves fast and hard."
Ramona took a folded letter from her pocket and slid it across the table. Remus raised an eyebrow, but dusted the crisp crumbs from his fingers and picked it up anyway.
He took a moment, and judging by his eye movements Ramona guessed he'd read it twice.
"Are you going to hand it in?" He ask, sliding it back to her.
"I don't know." She shrugged. "I just wanted you to know I have been thinking about it, and I am trying very hard."
"Alright, its okay." Remus assured her.
"Remus... Can I ask you something?" Ramona was almost deathly quiet now. He leaned in, listening closely, and nodded.
"Of course." He assured her.
"Do you..." She paused for a second. "Is Sirius going to be able to love our child as much as he loves Harry?"
Remus sat back for a moment. First instinct was to call her insane for asking. But he thought again. Ramona had listened to Sirius and himself talk about Harry for over a year. Sirius and Remus both loved Harry very much, and he was family to them both- but Ramona had never met him, and didn't really know Lily or James all that well before they died. Ramona was simply a young mother who was in a new and tough situation, and was worried for her child.
"Of course he will." Remus said after careful consideration. He repeated her words to himself, noting she said 'as much as Harry', not more than. She sounded so sad and scared, it hurt his heart. "I know you're scared of when you meet him. Scared of him not liking you." Remus watched as she bit at the skin on her lips nervously as he spoke. "But it will be okay. He's a great kid, he'll be a good big brother. You'll see. I promise."
Ramona nodded but kept her eyes down.
"Would it be okay if I talked to him about this?" Remus ask gently. Ramona shrugged roughly at first, then nodded.
"Yeah..." She replied hesitantly. "You can."
"So when should I expect you back at Grimmauld?" Remus ask.
"Look, I have plans tonight, and I really, really cannot skip- but just... go tell him I'm fine, we talked, and I'll be back Thursday?" Ramona begged, poking her lip out in a fake pout.
"Plans?" Remus questioned with a snort.
"If I tell you, you can't un-know them." Ramona warned him.
"I have to live with the fact that my best friend has... made a child... with my baby sister." Remus snorted again.
"You really can't make yourself say that I slept with him, can you?" Ramona laughed as Remus violently shook his head.
"I can't and I won't. Just tell me what you have planned."
Ramona sighed and smiled.
"You can't laugh." She demanded, and he nodded. "I... I got some of the money from the vault, had it changed over from Galleons to Pounds, and Tonks and I are going maternity shopping. She's going to..." Ramona laughed at the thought herself and had to take a moment to compose herself. "She's going to morph and show me what I'll look like in the stuff for farther along so I can go ahead and buy it."
"That's bizarrely brilliant, actually." Remus remarked. "Just promise me I don't ever have to witness it..."
"That's weird." Sirius snorted as Remus recounted Ramona's plans with Tonks, after having confirmed that Ramona and the baby were, in fact, safe and happy.
"Well- yeah." Remus nodded. "But a brilliant use of resources. Which, reminds me..." Remus handed Sirius a bag with a pet store logo on the side.
Sirius looked from the bag to his friend and back, eyes narrowed. He cocked his head to the side and slowly took the bag from Remus' hands.
"If there is a flea collar in here..." Sirius warned with a smirk.
"No, just... Thought maybe, sometimes, you might want to get out of this house. Maybe even... I don't know... attend a baby appointment with your girlfriend?" Remus shrugged. Sirius tore the bag open after this comment, taking out an orange dog harness with matching collar and leash. Each one branded with the words 'SERVICE ANIMAL, DO NOT TOUCH' emblazoned across them.
"I don't..." Sirius looked even more confused.
"In the UK, it is illegal for any person to deny entry to a service animal and their handler to any establishment. Other than the obvious peer based mocking you will receive... This would allow Ramona to take you, as Padfoot, anywhere she wants." Remus elaborated.
"Peer based mocking?" Sirius questioned.
"Oh, I'll give you hell. But it was my idea, so I reserve the right to do so. Imagine, Sirius Black, dragged around London on a leash by a woman." Remus cackled.
Sirius looked less amused and more touched, and he caught the laughing werewolf off guard with a hug, which he quickly returned.
"Thank you, Moony." Sirius mumbled lowly. "That's really nice."
"You're welcome mate." Remus replied gently as Sirius stepped away. "Impending fatherhood has made you soft."
"Yeah, I suppose." Sirius grinned. "Come with me, we've been waiting on your for something."
Sirius led Remus upstairs and into what had formerly been Sirius' parents, then Buckbeak the hippogriff's bedroom. The room was devoid of furniture, save a single wooden chair in the middle that both Weasley twins were half-sitting on.
"What are we doing?" Remus ask, eyebrow raised. He enjoyed Fred and George enough, but having been their teacher, he knew to be a bit cautious around them- even more so when Sirius was involved.
"We-" Sirius explained, moving across the room as he spoke, "are having some fun."
"Elaborate." Remus requested, arms crossed.
"Well," George started, "Sirius ask us if we wanted something to do, because our mum said if we didn't get out of her hair she was going to hex us..."
"So we started demolitions!" Fred finished.
"Started by taking all the furniture out, shrinking it and boxing it up- and I was looking at this stupid wall paper. Its fabric!" Sirius explained. "We did the room these two are staying in first, as a tester... and it can be done with magic... but this..." Sirius felt along the wall until he found a seam, and he chipped at it with his nails until it began to peel- and he tore a large section of the wall covering off in one motion. "This is much more therapeutic."
Remus looked at the other three wizards for a moment. He then sighed, shook his head, and with a smile rolled up the sleeves of his shirt.
"Yeah, alright." He laughed. "Lets go then."
The four of them each took a separate wall and began to tear. Remus had to admit to them that they were correct, it was extremely therapeutic to peel the old, tacky velvety, moldy green off the walls, laughing and joking as they went. Twice Kreacher, the Black family's old and hateful house elf, came through, mumbling to himself about Sirius destroying his mistresses home, which only prompted more jokes and laughter.
After nearly two hours, the walls were equally bare as the rest of the room. Sirius sent the twins off with a handful of galleons and a thank you each, and he leaned himself against the wall before sliding down gracelessly and landing with a thump on his rear.
"It really is therapy." Sirius sighed contentedly. "Ripping up her things."
"I bet so." Remus nodded. "When our father died, Ramona and I had a bonfire with some of his things."
"Same idea." Sirius agreed.
"She'd hate Ramona." Remus laughed. "Halfblooded sister of a werewolf, the mother of the next heir of house Black?"
Sirius froze for a second.
"What?" Remus demanded, concerned he'd upset his friend somehow.
"The portrait." Sirius answered.
"No." Remus pleaded.
"I'm not going to now..." Sirius promised. "I'll save that for a rainy day. I do need to find a way to get her off the wall, though. I really don't want anything left of any of them in this house when the baby gets here."
"I'm sure we will figure something out." Remus said, closing his eyes and leaning against the spackle-bare wall.
"So... She was okay?" Sirius ask again.
"Erm... yes." Remus began.
"But?" Sirius pressed.
"You should really talk to her about Harry. She's just terrified of the whole situation." Remus explained.
"Why?"
"Well, its a lot like dating a single parent, I suppose. She's just afraid of where her baby falls on the grand scheme of things." Remus continued, holding a hand up to silence Sirius as he tried to interrupt. "All she knows is how important Harry is to you and I. Ramona has nothing against him, except her fear he won't like her. She's also scared that, you know, the baby won't be on the same level of priority to you that the kid you broke out of Azkaban for is."
"That's fucking ridiculous." Sirius protested.
"It is, but also it isn't." Remus replied calmly. "Her hormones are all over the place. She's scared in general, and I just think you two should talk about it, that's all."
"How do you even start a conversation like that?" Sirius pondered aloud. "Hey, 'Mona. Listen- I think your fear of Harry is unfounded and insane."
"Maybe try 'Hey Ramona, I want you to know how much you and our baby mean to me. I will be there for you both no matter what." Remus suggested.
Sirius clicked his tongue over his teeth, and Remus could feel how offended and angry he still was.
"I don't understand." Sirius replied after some time.
"You don't have to." Remus said plainly. "You merely have to be good to my sister, or die. Those are the only two options you have."
"I'm trying to." Sirius scoffed.
"But you're not listening to me now, are you?" Remus narrowed his eyes at his friend. "She's afraid. So afraid. Afraid of loving you, because it could hurt her, because that is what she has known in the past. Afraid her child will have a father that has distractions, because that is what we had growing up. You do not have to understand her to respect how she feels."
Sirius swallowed hard, then nodded.
"You're right." He agreed.
"Damn right I'm right." Remus replied.
"So what if Harry doesn't like her?" Sirius pondered.
"Why wouldn't he?" Remus questioned, almost offended.
"What if he feels like, with everything he's going through, he isn't having his needs met?" Sirius ask honestly. "What do I do then?"
"That is so far from a possibility that I have no idea how to even answer it." Remus replied. "Harry is more like Lily than we give him credit for. He's gentle and patient when he needs to be, and unfortunately he really doesn't ask for much, due to the mistreatment from his bitch aunt and her lard of a husband. I think the only reaction in the realm of possibility is for him to be thrilled at the idea of a younger God-sibling and a larger family to love and love him."
Sirius nodded as Remus continued.
"That's what we go into it expecting. Hell- maybe that's what you tell her when she asks you." He finished.
"What would I do without your level head, Moony?" Sirius ask with a smile.
"You'd have found yourself back in Azkaban by now." Remus answered honestly.
Thanks for reading!
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