It was a rocky start, and a rough couple of days after Ramona and Harry met.
It seemed neither of them knew exactly how to behave, and as such neither of them knew how to act natural, causing a bit of an awkward ballet of avoidance, though he was willing to talk to her about what he wanted for his room so she could order it, and now that everything was delivered, she took the liberty of taking Hermione and Ginny out for the day with Ramona and Tonks, having a bit of a girls day while the boys helped Sirius and Remus paint Harry's room and put together his furniture.
Ramona had not had a day out like this in ages- though in more recent years it had dwindled down to just Tonks and herself, sometimes Andromeda would be drug along, but their Hogwarts friends had all sort of just grown apart.
The girls had ask a flurry of questions all morning, as they were both Gryffindors and didn't know much about Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff from the inside, Ramona and Tonks' respective houses.
"So-" Hermione ask, between sips of her large fruit smoothie, "If you two were in different houses, how'd you meet?"
Ramona looked at Tonks for a second, grimaced a little, then once Tonks shrugged, she sighed.
"One of Tonks' dorm mates was a werewolf. Sweet, very timid girl. She found it hard to make friends, so about halfway through second term, Professor Sprout sort of... Profiled me? I guess? Because my brother is a werewolf, thought we'd be good friends... and for a while, we were."
Tonks snorted a bit at the last statement her friend made.
"I feel like there is some drama there." Ginny laughed, looking between the two older witches.
"Oh there is." Tonks said, looking over at Ramona, who rolled her eyes.
"Spill." Ginny pressed.
"Maybe another time." Ramona politely declined. "I'd rather give you two some fodder to pick on your favorite former professor. Did you know he is the only Lupin ever to not be in Ravenclaw? He was a Hat stall, to be fair, Sorting Hat took 49 minutes to sort him. But our dad was furious. Devastated."
"What a trivial thing to be upset about." Hermione commented, confused.
"Some families really value their house legacy." Tonks shrugged, looking at Ginny.
"True." Ginny nodded. "I mean, I doubt my parents would say anything otherwise, but I know that if any of us hadn't been in Gryffindor, they'd been heartbroken, even if just behind closed doors."
"I don't know if the Hat is always right, though, is it?" Tonks pondered aloud, scraping the bottom of her glass to gather the last of her own smoothie.
"How'd you figure?" Hermione sat forward, interested.
"Well- take Pettigrew for example." Tonks said, nodding toward Ramona, "I never met him- but 'Mona did. And he was a Gryffindor- but a turn coat and a murderer, too."
Ginny and Hermione exchanged looks, considering the thought Tonks had just submitted to them.
"Ugh, I just want to vomit at the mention of that name." Ramona groaned. "If someone doesn't find him soon, I don't know what I'm going to do. What do I even name this boy?" She sighed, and laid a hand on her stomach. "Can't pick names if I don't know what last name to match with it- and we know that having to give him my last name is the most likely possibility at the moment, but its still nice to dream."
"Oh- are you not keeping the 'celestial' theme?" Hermione ask, head cocked curiously.
"No. Sirius has no interest in keeping any 'Black Family Traditions' alive. He's wanting to re-write the name completely. But again- Can't do that without Pettigrew. Can't do anything without him being found." Ramona's voice broke a bit, and she looked to the ceiling, fighting tears.
"When I met this girl, she was such a hardass." Tonks joked to the younger girls as she held Ramona's hand. "She never cried. Never. Pregnancy has made her soft."
"Shut it." Ramona laughed through her tears. "Is everyone done? Because if so, we have some of Tonks' family fortune to spend."
"Oh! Speaking of the Black family fortune... and the Black Family..." Tonks said, slapping the table. "Mum wants to know why you haven't been 'round."
Ramona froze.
She adored Andromeda, the only mother figure in her life growing up. She'd spent many nights and even a fair few holidays at the Tonks' family house growing up, and she loved Andromeda like a mother, and she knew the feeling was mutual.
She also knew that Andromeda had, at least years ago, loved Sirius very dearly as well.
Ramona looked at Tonks for a moment, licked her lips and sighed.
"Depends. Tell her you joined any secret societies, lately? Ones she may or may not have been a part of herself at some point in time?"
Tonks shook her baby blue bob around her head wildly.
"No. Haven't found the right time." She confessed.
"She'd want to know who the father was. And if we told her, she'd lose her mind." Ramona said, looking at her friend, for the moment, completely blocking out the fact that they had the teenage witches with them.
"Maybe. Or maybe we tell her the whole thing." Tonks said, tapping at the table again.
"We can talk about this later." Ramona insisted again. She jerked her head toward Hermione and Ginny, who sat awkwardly on the other side of the table. "How would you two like to just absolutely blow some money?"
Harry sat cross legged in the middle of his now painted room, watching as Sirius and Remus squabbled over how to properly put together a bookshelf. There was no clear reason for not using magic, but at this point in the argument, Harry was almost afraid to ask, and it seemed like Ron, George and Fred all were as well. It was quite a bit like Snape had said back in the shrieking shack a couple years ago- they argued like an old married couple, or like brothers fighting over a toy.
It seemed that their arguments had carried down the hall, because after a few minutes, Molly came in to see what was going on. She looked at the pile of teenage boys in the floor, then the young men fighting over wooden planks and she sighed heavily. She took her wand from her apron and within seconds the wood had flown out of their hands and into the perfectly built shelving unit it was meant to be.
"Ramona doesn't want us using magic to redo the house when it can be helped." Sirius scolded, helping Remus from the floor.
"And why on earth not?" Molly ask, arms crossed. "Especially when it has you two acting like children."
"She says doing things by hand makes them with love." Remus explained. "Its something our mother would say to me, when I would try using magic around the house, I guess she remembers it. Taking time to do something by hand adds love."
"Everything I do is with love, Remus Lupin. You remember that." She teased. "Just do the rest and don't tell her I helped out on that bit. I came to tell you, lunch is ready."
Sirius looked over at the boys in their tangle on the floor.
"You boys head on down with your mum and Moony. I need Harry for a few moments." he said, nodding to the door. On queue, the Weasleys did as they were requested and they followed their mother out of the room, with Remus going out and closing the door behind them.
"I know." Harry said, before Sirius could say anything at all. Sirius was a bit taken back, and he arched an eyebrow at the boy.
"You know, what?" Sirius ask, arms crossing over his chest.
"Seven days until my hearing. That's what you want to talk about." Harry guessed, shrugging as he shoved his hands in his pockets and his eyes fell to the floor.
"Er- No. No, I am not really worried about it." Sirius shrugged back. "I think the Ministry knows they'll look worse expelling 'the Boy Who Lived', even if they want to discredit your word, so this is a show of force. I'm not worried, nor is anyone in the Order. We have it on good faith my guess is right."
"Oh." Harry said, finally looking back up.
"No, I uh- I wanted to just check in with you. Ron told his mother you have nightmares." Sirius said gently.
"How does he-"
"Said you cry in your sleep, son." Sirius finished.
Harry's eyes fell back to the floor. Sirius crossed the room and brought Harry in for a tight hug, and for a long few minutes, Harry just clung to him. Sirius waited for Harry to pull away before he let go.
"I can't remember seeing what happened to my mum," Harry started. "But I see Cedric most nights in my sleep. If I hadn't told him to take the cup with me, he'd still be alive."
"Cedric died because Peter Pettigrew chose to take his life." Sirius said in a firm, yet soft voice. He wanted to make sure Harry was listening. "It was a tragedy, but it was a cold blooded murder. Not Peter's first, probably not his last. It had very little to do with you, except maybe to hurt you by making you watch."
"It just seems like people who are around me, they get hurt just for being around." Harry said. "You spent twelve years of your life in the worst prison on earth."
"Well..." Sirius smiled, "There are a few in Russia I hear are worse." He teased, nudging Harry until he smiled. "I made my choices, Harry. I believed the rat over Remus, and I can't ever take that back. Remus is my best friend, and he acts like he isn't still bothered, but I know it hurts him to think I didn't trust him. Peter convinced James and I that Remus was the spy so easily. Your mum was the only one who never believed it. Should've listened to her." Sirius sighed heavily.
"You were just doing what you thought was right at the time." Harry defended.
"So did you, with sharing the cup." Sirius reminded Harry. Harry seemed to consider this for a long minute, then he nodded.
"Yeah, I guess so." Harry nodded.
"So the dreams are just that?" Sirius ask. "Reliving the tournament?"
"Mostly." Harry said, looking away.
"But other times they aren't." Sirius guessed. Harry shrugged. "If you don't want to talk about it right now, that's fine. But I'd rather you not keep things like this to yourself forever. You don't have to talk to me, either. Your friends, Moony, someone. Just don't keep it locked up inside, alright?"
Harry nodded again, eyes still cast down. He wasn't sure how to tell anyone about what he saw of Voldemort. If it was even real. Sirius looked at him for a long time, trying to figure out what to do to comfort him, and Harry could feel his eyes on him.
"Harry, look at me, please." Sirius spoke softly. Slowly his green eyes came up to meet Sirius' stormy grey ones. "I want us to be a proper family. I want you to be happy."
"I know." Harry said, rather too quickly.
"You've got to talk to me." Sirius continued. "There has to be something on your mind-"
"Are you going to marry her?" Harry ask, cutting Sirius' sentence off. Sirius just blinked back at the boy, dumbfounded at the change of subject and the force with which he'd ask.
"I-" Sirius stammered a bit. "I want to. Haven't asked her, yet. At the moment, it feels like rubbing salt in a wound. She cried herself to sleep the other night because I wanted to talk about possibly names for him, but she couldn't get past the fact we don't know if we'll get to name him 'Black' or if it will have to be 'Lupin', because unless I'm proven innocent, naming our soon with my last name would indicate her as an accomplice in aiding and abetting a fugitive."
"Mmm." Harry hummed, nodding.
"Why?" Sirius ask, suddenly nervous.
"I was just wondering." Harry snapped back, his sudden change of tone concerning to Sirius. He wasn't sure why Harry was angry, he'd seemed to like Ramona well enough, even if they were in a bit of an awkward stage of their relationship, trying to get a feel for one another.
"Alright, well..." Sirius sighed, stepping to the side so Harry could get to the door, "Best get to lunch before your friend Ron eats it all. Just remember, I'm here when you're ready to talk."
Harry didn't say anything else and he quickly made his way out and down the hall. Sirius stood in the middle of the half finished bedroom and let his face fall into his hands, taking a few long, deep breaths. He felt overwhelmed and lost, unsure how to help his Godson, who was going through such grief, yet again, as it was becoming theme in his young life, and quite frankly, in Sirius' own.
He'd not thought about marriage in a while.
He didn't know what family name his son would bare.
Sirius felt in the moment, he didn't know anything at all, so he took advantage of the rare moment of solitude- and he cried.
This is like... 90% angst, but it's necessary.
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