This story now updates on Archive of Our Own only.

My username and the story title are the same over there. The story is NOT locked to users only so can be viewed without needing an AO3 account. There are more chapters posted there already as well.

Sorry to anyone who is disappointed by this :( but posting here has become quite draining (variety of reasons) and I hope that if you have been enjoying this story you'll check it out over there!

Riku tried to call out to his heart, desperately trying to follow that connection between them that always rang out with their heartsong so clearly. The melody was there, but it was faint. Far too faint for him to know where he was. All he could deduce was that Sora was still somewhere in this world. Still alive, but out of reach.

Something was wrong with their connection. It felt almost as if something was blocking it, some impenetrable wall between them that let nothing but a whisper through. It scared him as much as Kairi discovering the Wayfinder on the floor had. Wherever Sora had gone something, or someone had prevented him from taking it. He would never have left it behind willingly like this.

While he worked at this Kairi called the others back in the Land of Departure to tell them what they had found, and ask them to contact their other friends in case anyone had seen either Sora or Master Yen Sid. She and Riku would contact Mickey and hope he had some insight into where his past teacher might be.

Calling them from the computer in the Gummi ship, they explained to a shocked Mickey, Minnie, Donald, and Goofy what had happened.

"I'll try to contact Master Yen Sid now," Mickey said, as he whipped open a drawer in the library desk he and the others were gathered around. He had his own ways of communicating with Yen Sid, able to send letters to him in the same way the wizard could somehow make them appear just where they needed to be. While he scribbled a hasty note Donald, Goofy, and Minnie peered at Kairi and Riku's faces on the computer monitor.

"He'd never leave the Wayfinder behind," Goofy fretted, wringing his hands. He and Donald knew just how precious that charm was to him after seeing him take care of it throughout their travels.

"It does seem awfully suspicious," Minnie agreed. It became even more so as the minutes went on and no reply came to Mickey's letter asking urgently for a response. Yen Sid had always replied within moments in the past, sometimes unsettlingly quickly.

As they waited Mickey sent more letters, and theories flew back and forth between them all about what could have happened. If someone had taken them by force they must have been incredibly strong or numerous, to overpower both Sora and the retired master. Was it possible that man from Quadratum had made his way to this world, and that he had somehow tracked Sora down? But if he had then why would he have taken Yen Sid as well? Surely waiting until Sora was alone wouldn't have been difficult. Even if the man wasn't aware of Yen Sid's capabilities it would have been a bad tactical decision.

Yen Sid would have been easily capable of teleporting away in an instant with Sora in tow. If they had been in danger surely he would have been able to get them to safety... Something wasn't adding up, and Riku's suspicions were growing.

"I just don't understand why I can't call out to his heart right now. I know he's still alive but I can't feel where he is."

"If someone is blocking that connection between the two of you they must have incredibly powerful magic," Mickey mused.

Riku's frown deepened. "Someone with powerful magic... like Master Yen Sid."

Mickey gaped at him. "Riku, what-"

"Just think about it for a moment Mickey. Yen Sid hasn't contacted or even seen Sora this entire time. He's never summoned him before or asked him to come with us to a meeting, but suddenly he wants to meet with him? Alone?"

"But why would he want to stop you from being able to reach him?"

"I don't know... but I think he has something to do with this."

Donald was fixing Riku with a horrified look as well. "Master Yen Sid would never do something to Sora though!"

"Donald's right Riku, he'd never do something like this!" Goofy agreed.

"Then why isn't he responding to any of the letters? It's been half an hour and we haven't heard anything."

"And why was Sora's charm lying on the floor in his office?" Kairi asked. "And his phone?"

"We were the only ones who knew Sora was there as well, unless Yen Sid told someone else."

Mickey, Donald, and Goofy exchanged looks. They couldn't bring themselves to suspect Master Yen Sid, but they couldn't deny that Riku and Kairi were making some good points.

"Then, if he did take Sora somewhere, he musta had a good reason... right?" Goofy said, as though hoping someone would reassure him he was right. Riku and Kairi both bristled.

"What possible good reason could he have for kidnapping him?" Riku demanded.

"Well... uhhh..." Donald put a finger in the air, and then lowered it slowly as he trailed off. No one had an answer.

"I guess... it's possible," Mickey conceded. Riku was relieved the King wasn't dismissing the theory now, because he had a horrible feeling he was right, and Kairi did too.

"Even if it was Yen Sid though, what do we do now?" she asked, staring at Riku. He had a hand raised to his chin and was thinking hard.

"We have to find out where he's taken him. I'm certain he's still in the realm of light, someone must-"

He gasped, as pain engulfed him.

Sora stumbled back and placed a hand against the wall to hold himself up. He was exhausted. He'd been in this enormous and bare white tiled room for what felt like hours. He'd torn through hundreds of Heartless by now, maybe a thousand. They came one after the other, an unending torrent. How they were managing to summon this many, was beyond him.

He'd known this lab had been used to create Heartless in the past, though the details of the reports Jiminy had collected in his journal and read to him, Donald, and Goofy were hazy by now. He'd never been great at studying those reports. He did remember the horror they had all felt when they learned the Emblem Heartless first stemmed from this lab, and that they had been intentionally created by people before spreading through the many worlds, morphing and evolving into the many they had encountered on their travels.

It seemed they couldn't create powerful ones though, only the most basic artificial ones. Rage wouldn't come out unless he was in trouble, so they had resorted to wearing him down with sheer numbers. It was definitely wearing him down, the battle had become a struggle several hundred enemies ago, but still, Rage wouldn't emerge.

Every time he came close and felt the burning beneath his skin he would try to embrace it. Try to let the anger rise. But every time he was on the verge of letting the darkness sink into his skin he would hesitate. The ghostly images of friends still haunted him. The fury would be gone, twisted instantly into misery and sadness, and he'd have to choke back a sob as he forced himself to keep fighting. It was getting harder to stagger back up each time though. He was slowing down, taking more hits. That should be a good thing though, the worse things got the easier it should be to call on Rage. But he couldn't bring it out.

"Ughh come on! Just give me a minute!" he yelled, as another Guard Armour and a crowd of Soldiers materialised before him, beamed down from above as they were transported in from the manufactory. He was drenched in sweat, throat parched, and the only thing he wanted more than for this to be over was a few moments to catch his breath.

Ansem and Yen Sid seemed to be becoming as impatient with him as he was with Rage. "Sora, we can't end this until you transform," Ansem barked back at him through the speakers in the upper corners of the room.

"I'm trying!" he spat back furiously, not for the first time, as he threw off the two Soldiers who had just leapt at him.

But how? How was he meant to let himself become that monstrous version of himself again? How could he let out that thing that had made him do the unimaginable? The thing that had made him butcher them all. Butcher Kairi and tear Riku's throat to shreds. He cried out and dropped to one knee as his heart ached, and Rage refused to appear once again.

You're doing this for them. You're doing this for him. You have to protect them.

But the fury wasn't enough. The desperation and anger weren't enough.

You promised them! You promised you'd protect him!

He pushed himself to his feet and slashed through more of the Soldier Heartless's and their forms melted away, but the Guard Armour was beginning to spin towards him.

"You have to use your anger Sora!" Ansem's voice crackled through the speakers. "Embrace that anger."

"That's the way Sora, use that anger, it's what makes you strong."

The hooded man's words echoed through his memories, reverberating. The wave of hatred was the last spark of the fire he needed.

He roared as he lunged at his enemy, and this time a sphere of darkness enveloped him.

What sounded like an explosion rumbled through the building. In the main room down the hall, the four men stumbled back a step as the walls of the laboratory shook, and clouds of dust from the tops of shelves and machines puffed out into the air as the floor beneath them trembled. For a second they thought whatever shockwave had passed through the lab must have destroyed the camera in the observation chamber as the screen before them showed nothing but black. Then wisps of red began flickering in the darkness.

As that darkness dissipated like smoke, the flickers became bright flashes, and a scene was gradually revealed before them that made Ienzo sick with fear. The Heartless were gone, torn to pieces by whatever force had just blown through that room and a ring of scorch marks had been burned into the floor. All that remained was Sora, standing at its centre.

Sora as they had never seen him before. His entire body and clothes turned to black, trails of dark vapour flowing around his body through the air, and scarlet sparks that gave off an electric energy so powerfully violent they could almost feel it through the screen. A pair of bright red eyes had replaced the deep blue. He was as frozen as they were for a moment.

Then cracks shot across his body, with a molten glow burning beneath them.

He screamed.

Riku cried out and reeled back, clutching his chest as though he had been stabbed. His heart was searing inside of him and he fell to his knees.

"Riku!" Kairi dropped down and grabbed his shoulder as he gasped for breath. "What's wrong?"

"Sora..."

"What?" His voice was so faint Kairi couldn't make out the name he had whispered. As the pain faded, Riku heard the others calling out from the monitor as well. He looked up at Kairi, as much fear on his face as she felt.

"It's Rage"

His skin was on fire, searing, surely it was peeling from his body, melting to the floor. He'd fallen to the ground, curling in on himself and hugging his chest, trying to hold himself together. There were deep gashes in his arms and across his back. His eyes were clenched shut but he could feel them there. Rage was inside him. It was extending itself through his veins, his bones, burning through him, ready to take control.

But it didn't.

Then the pain was diminishing. Not fading, but somehow becoming dissociated from him. He raised himself to his hands and knees and opened his eyes, unsure of what he was expecting to see. If Rage wasn't in control, would he still be himself?

No, the hands before him were definitely those of Rage form. His skin was ink black and darkness was flowing around him. There were cracks in his skin though. The deep cuts up his arms were glowing red, as though fire truly were burning beneath his skin.

They hurt, but the pain didn't seem to be his.

"Sora!"

A voice barked through the speakers and he jerked his head up to stare at them. The motion looked more animal than human and back in the lab all four men recoiled slightly from the screen. "Stand up Sora, we need to see you are in control," Yen Sid's voice ordered him. They watched as the dark creature in the shape of Sora pushed itself to its feet. Its movements were unsteady but purposeful. "Summon your Keyblade," Yen Sid continued his instructions. His voice caused fury to writhe in Sora's stomach, resenting his condescending tone, but he had to control it. He had to control his rage.

And he did. A pitch black version of his Keyblade appeared in his hand.

Ienzo's heart leapt. There was hope! But then it dropped like a stone.

"Send in more Heartless," Yen Sid requested and with a nod, Ansem pressed several keys.

"Sir?"

The wizard turned to him. "We need to see if he can control it in battle when his emotions are at their peak."

Back in the test chamber, Sora spun around, hearing the tell-tale sounds of more enemies appearing. Another Guard Armor, and then another. Three appeared, surrounding him, their gauntlets each armed with their own set of claws. They advanced as one, all lunging for him at once, and he phased away before their punches could hit. His body was still his own. It was still moving when he willed it! There was no voice in his head yet. He reappeared behind one and, trying to ignore the pain of the tears in his arms, swung his blade at its back.

But the blow was weak. So weak the Heartless barely seemed to feel it. The key bounced harmlessly off of its armour, not even leaving a dent behind. It spun around and returned Sora's strike with a kick, sending him flying backwards. Why hadn't his barrier appeared? His back hit the wall hard and his recovery was slow, only just managing to get to his feet before seeing another of them spinning towards him, sharp gauntlets threatening to tear him apart. On the other side of the screen, Ienzo and Even both gasped, but Yen Sid and Ansem watched in silence.

He blinked away just in time, and the Heartless smashed into the wall, thankfully stunning itself. The other two were still after him though. He leapt onto the closest, the feral anger and fury burning inside him. But, like the pain, it was somehow disconnected. He was aware of it, but unsure if he was feeling it. It was as though he were observing his own emotions through a fog. What he did feel though, was sick.

He hated this. Wanted to change back more than anything. Stop the fire in his veins. It felt so awful to fight with it again. His darkness. This repulsive thing inside himself. But he had to know. Had to know if he could stay in control of it.

He clawed at the monster's chest and left nothing but shallow scratches. The most superficial of wounds. The Heartless threw him off with ease.

Rage was weak. Why was he so weak? There was dark liquid dripping from him. Oozing from the cracks in his skin. He couldn't fight like this.

Down the long twisting hallway, Ienzo had the same thought. "Master we have to stop!"

But Ansem gave no sign he had heard his yell, continuing to watch the screen in silence as the dark creature clutching the blackened Kingdom Key tried to get to its feet, but was thrown against the wall yet again by the synthetic Heartless.

He was losing, but he was still in control. There was no voice in his head. Rage hadn't taken him. It was the one who was weak right now, the one who was broken. He didn't know whether he should be feeling joy right now or fear, as he rolled out of the way of another attack, and the Guard Armor's fist cracked the floor right where his skull had been a moment before.

His chest was starting to ache though. A hollow, cloying, sickening ache. The purple and black limbs flying around the room were blurring together. He was dizzy, lurching clumsily from side to side to dodge their blows. Another kick caught him and sent him skidding across the floor.

"He's injured sir, we have to stop the Heartless!"

Again Ienzo's pleas went unheeded.

Sora staggered to his feet and attempted to attack one with his claws, but the Heartless was unfazed. He leapt away before it could return the swipe, but then it charged at him. He summoned a barrier, but it broke before the creature even reached him, as his chest throbbed with pain. If the Heartless hadn't smashed into him he probably would have collapsed to the floor.

He couldn't fight like this. The Heartless had a hand around his neck. He wanted so badly to cling to his necklace, thinking maybe it would burn his hand the way his charm had before. But even with his arms free he couldn't break the monster's grip.

No more. No more. Get out. Let me fight.

He had to change back. Rage was too weak. He had to change back.
He did what he had done before and thought of his friends. Of Kairi. Of Riku.

And just like that, the darkness was dissolving around him. Ebbing away. Falling from his limbs to the ground, and fading. The way it had so many times in the past. He was turning back.

He was back.

The fire in his veins was gone. Rage was gone. He had changed back.

More pain. Different pain. His neck being crushed as he was held against the wall. A metal fist was slamming into his stomach, again and again, the Heartless that Rage hadn't been able to defeat. There was no air left in his lungs. His vision was going dark but his Keyblade was still in his hand. He stabbed at the Heartless with all the power he had left. The pressure against his windpipe vanished, and he crumpled to the floor.

"You have to end this Master! He's hurt!"

"Yes, surely we have to stop?" Even beseeched, but Ansem held up a hand to silence them.

"Not yet."

Ienzo was glancing from the screen, to Ansem, and back again with horror on his face. He'd changed back to his usual self, why weren't they ending the test? Sora had dealt with the Heartless that'd had him trapped, but now he was motionless on the ground, and the others were advancing. He made his decision.

He dashed forward, pushed his mentor aside, and slammed the button that would withdraw the Heartless. "What do you think you are doing Ienzo?" Ansem bellowed as his apprentice sprinted from the room, and the Heartless evaporated in an instant.

Ienzo didn't answer him, making straight for the chamber they had locked Sora inside, cursing the length of the hallways. He fumbled for his key card when he finally got there, swiped it, and burst into the room. "Sora!" He ran and dropped down at his side, placing a hand on his shoulder. There were no obvious wounds on him, just a smattering of scratches. But a small trickle of blood dripped from his mouth, and his breath was shallow and ragged. "Sora, can you hear me?" He shook him roughly, to no avail.

"Is he alright?" Ienzo turned to see Even, panting from running and staring anxiously down at Sora as well.

"I don't know, do we have any potions?"

"I'll go get some-"

"Step away from the boy Ienzo," Yen Sid called out from the doorway, cutting across Even, as he and Ansem the Wise entered the room. Ienzo didn't move.

"He's hurt!"

"If necessary, I will treat his injuries before we continue."

"Continue?" Ienzo and Even exchanged shocked looks.

"Ienzo you are to leave this room immediately, as are you Even," Ansem commanded. "That boy is dangerous." After a few moments Even began walking towards the door but stopped when he realised Ienzo hadn't moved. Ansem's eyes narrowed. "I am ordering you to leave Ienzo."

Ienzo was trembling, from revulsion at what he had just witnessed, and from the terror of what he was about to say. He swallowed hard, then spoke in a small voice. "No."

Ansem glared at him. "You saw the same thing we did Ienzo. You saw what he became."

"But he changed back!" This didn't make sense, wasn't this exactly the result they had been hoping for? Hadn't this test shown that Sora wasn't possessed? If he was then surely he would have torn through each of those Heartless in a second. Based on what Sora had said about Rage's strength he should've easily dealt with them, and then tried to come tearing through the building after them. But he hadn't. He was gripping Sora's shoulder tightly, acutely aware that he still hadn't regained consciousness. "He's not possessed, you saw-"

"You will not interfere any longer Ienzo, step away from him. Now."

"No!"

There was a long, cold silence as Ansem stared his apprentice down. The young man he had taken in, taught, and cared for since he was a child. An apprentice who had strayed once before. One he had never thought would do so again. In Ienzo's eyes, he saw terrible fear, but also defiance. He had lost the trust of his beloved apprentice and it broke his heart. But this had to be done.

"This is wrong," Ienzo whispered, looking from him to Yen Sid. "Please, stop this madness." Even stayed quiet.

The sound of groaning caused them all to turn to Sora, and Ienzo leaned back down towards him. "Sora?" His eyelids flickered open and he looked blearily up at him, with blue eyes instead of red. "Are you alright?"

He opened his mouth to respond but was prevented from doing so as a wet cough racked his chest. Blood spattered the ground and he clenched his eyes shut from pain. Yen Sid stepped forward, held out a hand, and green light briefly pulsed around Sora's body. His laboured breathing evened out as his injuries began healing. "Thanks..." he sighed, and relaxed as the pain lessened.

Ienzo wanted to tell him not to thank them yet but held his tongue. Maybe Sora could convince them not to continue? They wouldn't believe anything Sora had to say if he warned him of the danger he was in right now, so he stayed quiet. He didn't let go of his arm though. Even was staring warily at Yen Sid and Ansem.

Sora on the other hand was grinning wistfully, eyes still closed and unaware of the tension in the room. "I changed back... I actually changed back..." He didn't care about- couldn't think about- anything else right now except the fact that he had changed back. He hadn't been taken by the darkness. He hadn't been controlled and consumed by Rage. He had changed back!

He didn't have to be afraid of hurting the people he loved. He would be with them again soon. He didn't have to die.

If he hadn't been so exhausted he would have been yelling, crying, punching the air, screaming with relief and delight. Right now he was so drained he didn't even want to try opening his eyes though. The healing spell cast on him had been powerful and sapped the little strength he'd had left. But soon he would be home. Soon he could collapse into bed, knowing that everything was going to be alright. Maybe he should ask them to call Riku? Then he could fly the Gummi ship here to pick him up. He was far too tired to use his glider right now. Although he suspected Riku would be furious when he found out about this... He chuckled faintly.

"Perhaps we should let him rest?" Even said quietly, worried by how weak Sora seemed, but Yen Sid paid him no attention. There were more pressing matters to attend to right now.

"Did you hear the voice, Sora?"

"No." Sora was still smiling to himself. He spoke slowly, between deep, weary breaths. "It was different than... it used to be... but I was in control... It wasn't like... Quadratum." Ienzo let out a great sigh of relief at his words, then turned to Ansem.

"See, he's alright! He's not po-"

"Ienzo!" Ansem's threatening voice rang out, and Ienzo froze.

Confused, Sora dragged his eyes open, and for the first time registered how Ienzo had positioned himself, sitting with his body placed between the others and him. It was a protective posture, and the hand on his shoulder was gripping him tightly. His happiness became tinged with unease. "What's... going on?"

"What did you mean by different Sora?" Ansem asked, fixing him with a deadly serious stare and ignoring his question.

"It... it hurt and he... was sort of weak... Couldn't fight properly... didn't feel like me anymore... felt... separate, but-"

"Like a separate being?"

He nodded at Ansem the Wise. "Yeah... I could still control... my body though... hard to explain..." His brain was feeling foggy, and speaking was rapidly becoming too difficult. "Disconnected... wasn't... wasn't..." He trailed off into inaudible mumbles, and Ansem exchanged another meaningful glance with Yen Sid.

"Please, let him go." Ienzo's voice was fearful and Sora frowned. Why was he shaking so much? He didn't get a chance to ask Ienzo what was wrong though. Yen Sid raised a hand and his eyelids thudded shut, as a wave of sleep magic passed over him yet again.

"What?" This time it was horror, not confusion, in Kairi's voice.

"I don't know why but... He's changed."

"How do you know? Did you see him?"

He shook his head, still panting from the intensity of the pain. "No, I didn't see him, or anything, but I felt it." He pushed himself shakily to his feet, looking from Kairi to the four fearful faces on the screen. "I don't know where he is, but he's scared. And he's in pain."

He knew the feeling and smell of darkness too well to not recognise the sensation of using its power. It had never burned at his heart and skin the way it seemed to scorch at Sora though. It was Rage. He knew it as clearly as he knew that searing in his chest was an echo of what Sora was feeling right now.