Still breathing, he's still breathing.
The faint movement of Sora's chest against his hand was the only thing keeping him going. He tried to keep his neck from jolting against his arm as he took the stairs three at a time, but he wouldn't, couldn't, slow down until he knew he was safe. Kairi was calling out behind him. He caught the names of Ansem and Yen Sid but no more.
"Just hold on Sora..."
He gave no response, eyes still closed as his head lolled back and forth. Why had he fainted? Surely he wasn't injured, the others would have healed him if they could. Was it just exhaustion? Was magic not working?
Just keep breathing Sora, please.
His skin was ice against his.
Aerith, Naminé, Axel, Isa, Yuffie, Cid, and Merlin were all gathered in the courtyard below, waiting for news. When they saw Sora lying still in Riku's arms a wave of horror passed over them as they assumed the worst.
"He's alive!" Kairi yelled, seeing their faces as they approached, and for a moment even Cid looked like he was about to cry from relief.
It was clear Sora was in a bad way though and Aerith rushed forward. "Our place is closest!" She waved for Riku to follow and he hurried after her, the rest of the crowd close behind.
The house wasn't large enough for them all, so while Aerith and Naminé led Riku, Kairi, Aqua, and Roxas in, the others stayed outside. They knew their jobs were done, but wouldn't be leaving until they knew if Sora was alright. Xion remained outside with them, to try and satisfy their desperate need for information about what had happened.
Riku found himself in a wide, yet cosy room, with a circular table and chairs on one side, and a lounge area on the other, with a squishy couch and fireplace. A door led off to a small kitchen and a staircase to the upper floors. At first glance, a rainbow seemed to shine through the room, as every available surface held vases of vibrant flowers.
Aerith gestured to the couch and Riku lay Sora down, reminded horribly of doing the same thing in Yen Sid's Tower over half a year ago. He was still unconscious, but breathing steadily.
Riku dropped down beside him, and it was only now that he noticed the developing bruises encircling each of his wrists, and the skin above them that was rubbed raw. A quick glance over revealed two more red rings just above his ankles, and the skin on his shins was scratched and inflamed. They looked like restraint marks.
"Sora?" He shook his arm gently as he called out, and Sora's eyes began moving beneath their lids. He let out a faint murmur. "Sora, wake up." Riku gave him another shake and, to everyone's relief, his eyes flickered open. Riku took a sharp breath. He was awake. Thank god he was awake. "Sora? Can you hear me?"
Sora stared at him for a few seconds, face blank as he tried to make sense of his surroundings. Then he grinned wearily. "Hey, Riku."
"Hey, you're safe now," Riku didn't manage to return the smile, clearly the more distressed of the pair.
"Don't worry," Sora murmured, reaching over and taking his other hand. "I'm just... worn out."
Riku carefully shifted some of Sora's sweat-matted hair out of his eyes so he could examine his face more closely. His pallor and the dark circles framing his eyes made them appear even more shockingly blue than usual. "How are you feeling?"
Sora's smile faded slightly. "Thirsty... and cold."
Riku turned to Naminè. "Do you have anything to keep him warm?" She nodded and dashed from the room, and a moment later Aerith was at his side, holding a glass of water out to Sora. He didn't seem to register the gesture though, staring blankly at her face, so Riku took it from her. Sora felt an arm slide beneath his shoulders and lean him forward. Water touched his lips.
He reached up and snatched at the glass, tipping it back and gulping desperately. Water had never tasted so good before in his life. "Hey slow down," Riku cooed, pulling the glass away as Sora gave a strangled cough, spluttering weakly from drinking too fast. "Just take it easy, OK?" He drained the rest of the glass more carefully and murmured his thanks, as Riku lowered him back into the cushions.
Aqua knelt down so Sora could see her, and gently placed two fingers on his wrist to check his pulse. It was regular but abnormally slow, just like his breathing, and she was certain now he was hypothermic. Badly so as he seemed past the point of shivering. "Are you injured, Sora?" she asked as she withdrew her hand.
"No, just bruises I think... chest hurts though."
"Can I check your chest?" He nodded, so she and Riku helped him remove his jacket and shirt, revealing a multitude of bruises half-healed by magic, and a dark red mark in the centre of his chest. A perfect circle above his sternum. It was bold enough to show clearly against his scar, as though he had been branded and burned. Horrified, Aqua placed a hand on top of it. "How did this happen Sora?"
"...what?"
"This mark on your chest, do you know what caused it?"
"Mark?" Sora wasn't sure what she was talking about. His brain was feeling awfully fuzzy. He shook his head, blinking sluggishly, then turned back to Riku. "I'm cold..."
Riku was hesitant to replace his singlet and jacket when they were still damp from sweat and was about to remove his own for Sora to wear when Naminè tapped him on the shoulder. "Here Riku," she handed him a clean black shirt that had once belonged to Cloud, left behind the last time he and Tifa visited. Riku took it gratefully and helped a confused, but compliant, Sora put it on, before throwing the blanket Naminè had also brought over him.
Aqua was still concerned by his injuries though. "Can you tell us what they did to you Sora?"
It took him a moment to process her question and when he spoke his words were disjointed, as he tried hard to keep his thoughts in order. "They were trying to... make me change into... Rage... trying to... trying to..." He trailed off and then frowned. His eyes roamed the room over Aqua's head, as though searching for something. "Riku?"
"I'm right here Sora."
Sora turned, glad to have found him so close by. "Can we go home now?"
Aqua tapped Riku's arm before he could reply and whispered, "I don't think we should move him yet."
Riku thought she was probably right. "We'll go home soon, but we need to get you warmed up first, OK?"
That seemed strange, wouldn't it be warm back at the castle as well? But Riku was smiling at him and stroking his hair, so everything must be alright.
"Can you tell us what they did to you though?"
Oh right, that's what he'd been telling them. He turned back to Aqua and tried to remember what he'd already said. "Wanted to remove... Rage... there were these weird crystals... and... a table." Riku saw sudden fear flicker through his eyes. "It did some... something... Rage... I... don't want..." His breathing was accelerating, becoming shallower.
"I don't think he's going to be able to tell us right now," Roxas said quietly, as Sora's voice began fading.
"He probably doesn't understand what's happening," Aerith agreed.
Aqua nodded and squeezed his arm through the blankets. "You should sleep now Sora, you can tell us more later." He didn't seem to have heard her though, as his murmurs continued, voice and expression becoming increasingly agitated and confused as the events of the past day played through his mind.
Riku ran a hand over his hair again and spoke to him softly. "Hey, hey, it's OK." Sora stopped trying to talk and turned to him, looking fearful. "It's alright, you can rest now. You're safe here." Sora didn't close his eyes though. He said something no one else could quite make out. Riku smiled and stroked his forehead. "Yeah, I'll stay right here, see you when you wake up." Sora's face relaxed and he smiled back, before he stopped trying to hold his eyes open, and his senses left him in moments.
"Is he going to be OK?" Kairi asked, looking from Aqua to Aerith. The two women exchanged looks, hoping the other had an answer. They were both skilled healers, but of physical ailments, and they had no way of knowing if Sora's injuries extended further than the bruises, or if there was more to his confusion than hypothermia and fatigue.
"I don't know," Aqua admitted, then stood up to leave. "I'll go find Ienzo and Even, they might be able to help."
Riku's heart was squeezing painfully in his chest as he stared at Sora. There were flecks of dried blood on his neck and cheek, and when he glanced down at the jacket on the floor Riku saw red stains on its collar. What had they done to him to leave him this drained of energy? Exhausted to the point where his body didn't even have the strength to keep him warm?
Aerith came to perch on the edge of the couch, a pile of bandages and a small jar of ointment in her hands.
While they waited for Aqua, he helped Aerith as she dabbed the salve on the cuts and raw skin around Sora's wrists, and wrapped them. He seemed so weak Aerith felt it better for them to avoid any magic. Even as Riku pulled the covers back and lifted his arms to allow Aerith to apply the salve he didn't stir at all. Kairi, Roxas, and Naminé hung back, watching in silence as the others tended to Sora's wounds. The strong mint scent from the jar stung Riku's nose.
By the time Aerith had removed Sora's shoes and finished dressing the grazes covering his shins and ankles, Aqua was back with Ienzo and Even. The two anxious-looking scientists followed her through the door, neither entirely sure why they were there.
"Ahh... Hello," Ienzo said, glancing around at them all staring at him, before fixing his eyes on Sora. "How is he?"
"Do you know what they did to him?" Riku demanded, ignoring the question. "You said they were trying to destroy the darkness in his heart, but what actually happened?"
Even was visibly shaking and staring at the floor. Ienzo took a deep breath, then addressed the room at large. "As you say, they thought there was a true darkness inside him and were trying to remove it. Yesterday they forced him to change into Rage."
That explained Riku's pain, both he and Kairi both thought to themselves. But why had Riku fallen into that void with him during the night?
"They said they wanted to see if he could control it, and he did! But I think just seeing it was enough to convince them they were correct. I tried to stop them but... I wasn't able to." He felt a pang of guilt. If only he were strong like these fighters were, maybe he would have been able to prevent some of Sora's suffering. "After that..." He turned to Even.
Even seemed to be bracing himself for something. He was quiet for a moment before continuing the explanation. "Many years ago, Ansem the Wise, and then Xehanort, experimented with building a machine to extract the darkness within a heart. I'm ashamed to admit we also had a part in that, but we thought it was destroyed after... the tests back then never ended well... So when Ansem returned he said he destroyed them, along with the-"
Prison?
"- laboratory where the experiments took place. But, apparently, the machine was still stored deep in the castle, and they used it on him. But then it failed so they- with just the machine- it wouldn't-" He stuttered to a stop, face grey. The sounds of Sora's screams were ringing in his head.
Ienzo hesitated, hating to be the bearer of such unpleasant news, but it seemed Even was too traumatised right now to form the words so the responsibility fell to him. "They couldn't remove Rage using only that machine... so they were hurting him." An awful silence gripped the room for several seconds.
"What?" Kairi breathed into the quiet.
"They thought hurting him would cause him to change forms and that would allow them to extract the darkness. What Yen Sid was doing to try and draw it out was... painful."
Even swallowed hard and managed a small mumble. "He was fighting to prevent the change, with every ounce of strength he had."
"They were torturing him?" Roxas asked, voice dark.
Ienzo and Even both nodded.
Three Keyblades appeared as Kairi and Roxas summoned theirs, and began marching for the door without a word.
"Kairi! Roxas! Stop!" Aqua cried out, dashing to stand between them and the exit.
Kairi's eyes were burning with rage as she faced up against her master. "NO!" she bellowed. The sheer force of the yell tore at her throat. Behind her Sora's eyes shifted a little beneath his lids, but he didn't wake. "They were torturing him Aqua!"
"We aren't letting them get away with this!" Roxas yelled furiously. "We've got to-"
"Aqua's right." To everyone's surprise, it was Riku who had spoken, his voice stern and commanding. "They aren't a threat right now and if you try to attack Yen Sid you'll just get hurt as well."
"How can you say that!?" Kairi demanded.
He stood up and turned, giving her a deadly serious look. "We'll deal with them later. Sora wouldn't want anyone else to get hurt."
"But, Riku..."
"We'll deal with them later," Aqua repeated firmly. She was filled with the same fury as them, sickened with rage. But there was no way she was going to let them leave. She wasn't letting anyone else get in harm's way today.
Kairi bit her lip, staring at Aqua's resolute face. Then she hung her head. They were right. Roxas was shaking with anger, but stayed where he was.
Riku moved his gaze back to Sora, still asleep despite the yells that had filled the room. "All that matters right now is keeping him safe."
Kairi dismissed her weapon and, after a few seconds spent staring at Riku's back, so did Roxas.
"They didn't succeed though," Even assured them, desperate to give them some good news. "I believe he will recover."
Ienzo wasn't entirely sure he agreed. "His heart has likely been damaged and will be somewhat... unstable for a while. But I suspect he just needs rest, and to be kept safe." Exactly what he meant by unstable, no one, including him, was entirely sure. If what Sora needed was rest though, then it seemed an ideal time for them to end their conversation. "We'll go back to the castle. If we examine the machines we may find out more about how they could have affected him. We'll contact you if we find anything."
He and Even turned to leave but Riku stopped them. "Even? Ienzo?"
"Yes?"
"Yes, Riku?"
"Thank you, for everything."
They were both taken aback and Ienzo gave a small "oh!" of surprise. "There's no need to thank me... I just wish I had done more," he said sadly. Even gave a stiff nod.
"You did everything you could," Kairi said, smiling at them. "Thank you both, so much."
Even kept his eyes on the ground to hide the guilt he was sure would show in them, but Ienzo gave her a small smile. They left and were promptly accosted by the group outside, demanding information the moment they opened the door. Donald and Goofy had just arrived and were particularly insistent. Donald's squawks were so loud it was a wonder they didn't wake Sora. Aerith went out to rescue the poor scientists and deal with the crowd so they could leave for the laboratory.
Suspecting Donald and Goofy wouldn't calm down until they saw Sora alive with their own eyes, Roxas and Aqua decided it was time to go and make space for them. Before leaving, Aqua bent down to ruffle Sora's hair gently, and squeezed Riku's shoulder. "Call me if you need me." He nodded, and she left as well.
With the room less packed with people, Goofy and a now much quieter Donald poked their heads around the door. Kairi gave them a kind nod, and Riku let them take his spot beside the couch when they hurried over.
He was relieved when Mickey followed them in as well and bent down when he opened his arms up to give him a hug. Donald had a hand on Sora's shoulder and Goofy was wringing his hands anxiously.
"He's going to be alright," Naminé told them as they looked down at him, both wearing muddled looks of terrible fear.
"Are ya sure?" Goofy asked. She smiled kindly.
"Yes. Ienzo and Even say he just needs rest."
"He's so cold though," Donald fretted, placing a hand on his forehead.
"Naminé?" She turned and saw Kairi gesturing at the fireplace with her Keyblade. None of them needed extensive medical knowledge to realise if Sora didn't warm up, things would likely go downhill. She nodded at her other, and Kairi sent a small ball of flames into the hearth.
No one wanted to leave, so they sat together for the rest of the afternoon gathered in the lounge around Sora, waiting for his white skin to start regaining some colour.
Mickey, Donald, and Goofy reassured the others that neither Yen Sid nor Ansem was likely to be a threat to Sora again. Ansem had been imprisoned in his living quarters in the castle for now and would remain there until a decision was made about what to do with him. They weren't particularly concerned about him escaping anytime soon either. He had pushed his luck a little too far, trying to argue his case again, resulting in an impressive concussion from Donald's staff.
Yen Sid, on the other hand, had vanished.
"You don't need to worry about him though," Mickey told a mortified Riku and Kairi, his voice abnormally tense. From an unseen pocket, he retrieved the magician's hat and a folded piece of paper. "He left this," he held the hat up by the point, "and he... he sent me a letter." He paused, ears sagging, and stared pointedly at Riku. "I promise, he won't be a danger to Sora again."
Trusting him, Riku didn't press him further. "Thanks, Mickey."
To Kairi and Mickey's great relief, Riku's exhaustion finally defeated him and he fell asleep sitting on the floor barely an hour later, collapsed against the couch beside Sora. Kairi smiled fondly as she draped a blanket over him, looking from his worn face to Sora's.
"You two are as bad as each other," she sighed to herself, wondering if there would ever come a day the two of them- well, three of them, would stop throwing themselves into harm's way for each other. It seemed unlikely, at least not while they each continued to wield their Keyblades.
For a long time, Sora was still as a statue, his drawn-out breaths the only movement he made. As the hours went on though, and the blue-purple tinge faded from his lips, he gave the occasional moan or mumbled. It would have been more of a relief for them if each sound wasn't accompanied by a look of pain flickering across his face.
By the time evening came Donald, Goofy, and Mickey felt it was time for them to go. With a promise from Kairi and Naminé that they would let them know how Sora was doing in the morning, they left, making their way back to their ship for the night. They, like everyone else who had entered the castle that day, had no plans on leaving Radiant Garden yet.
Sora was dragged from sleep by the rude combination of chest pain, hunger, and thirst. Not ready to open his eyes yet, he took a moment to check in with his body. Other than the deep ache in his chest he seemed to be unhurt. He could barely feel the rest of him, let alone any pain. His back was still cold but lying on something blissfully soft, while his arms and legs seemed to be floating away. Weightless. Painless. Was that a good thing? It seemed strange.
When he did eventually open his eyes he stared up at a low wooden ceiling and noticed a pair of voices talking softly nearby. He surveyed the room and found himself somewhere unfamiliar. Unfamiliar, but welcoming. He wasn't completely sure where he was, but somehow knew he was safe. Orange light was streaming through a gap in the curtains across the room. The sun must be setting. How long had he been here? As he began the difficult process of sitting up one of the quiet voices spoke up.
"Hey sleepy head."
He turned and blinked a few times, until the fuzzy pink and white shapes came into focus. He could see Naminé sitting across the room at a table, and Kairi was making her way over to him. "Hey..." He grimaced a little at the sound of his raspy voice.
"How are you feeling?"
"Been better," he said with a crooked smile as she helped him sit up. "Think I'm OK." His words were grating at his throat though and he tried to swallow. It was like trying to drink sand. "Thirsty though..."
As Naminé hurried to the kitchen his stomach growled loudly. "Hungry too?" Kairi giggled.
"Maybe..." He was feeling awfully dizzy and sick all of a sudden. Sitting up probably hadn't been such a good idea. "But I don't think I can eat right now." There was just enough space for her to perch on the edge of the couch. She sat down and put an arm around him.
Dropping his gaze he noticed the lump of blankets sitting on the floor beside him for the first time, and the haggard face protruding from them. He smiled affectionately at Riku, slumped sideways against the couch with his head resting on the cushions beside his knees. He was fast asleep, and Sora reached out to brush some of his hair from his face.
"Don't wake him up," Kairi whispered, smiling at him as well. "He's exhausted, this is the first time he's slept since we realised you were gone." He definitely looked like he needed sleep.
"Glad I wasn't gone another year then."
"Me too."
Kairi rubbed his back gently until Naminé returned, with another glass of water and a small bowl of miso, and helped him tilt each into his mouth in turn. He sighed as the warmth of the soup seemed to spread through his chest. It didn't go far, but it was wonderful. He wanted to say thanks to Naminé, but the tiny bit of heat in his body seemed to have dulled his senses. His eyes were drooping again.
Naminé quickly took the half-full bowl as Sora's hands began to slacken, catching it just in time to stop it from spilling. She and Kairi both chuckled. "Sleep time," Kairi told him softly and helped him lie back.
"Tell us if you need anything," Naminé said.
He opened his mouth to thank them both, but his eyes closed before he found the words.
It was past eight when Aerith eventually returned, by which time the ache in Riku's back had woken him. Half lying against the couch hadn't been the best way to sleep apparently. He hadn't left his spot beside Sora though.
"Sorry," she said as the door swung shut behind her. "Leon and the others still needed some patching up."
"Others?" Kairi and Riku chorused.
Aerith nodded. "We did a bit of a number on poor Aleus and Dilan, and Ventus has some injuries from getting Leon out."
"They're alright though," Naminé assured them before they had a chance to panic for Ven. "Nothing as bad as Leon's arm, they'll all be fine."
"That's good," Kairi sighed.
"How's this one doing?" Aerith asked, kneeling down beside Riku and laying a hand on Sora's forehead. He'd started shivering slightly, which was a good sign. It meant he was at least a little warmer, but her brow furrowed with worry. "Hmmm, he's still too cold. He should have warmed up more by now."
The contact and voices had been enough to rouse Sora and his eyes opened a crack. "Ae...ith?"
"Hi Sora," she smiled down at him. "Welcome back." He gave her a small smile, then closed his eyes again.
She turned to Riku, whose face was tense. She expected for him that meant terrible anxiety and put a hand on his shoulder. "All he needs right now is sleep, and someone to keep him warm." She gave him a cheeky look and a wink. "Let's take him upstairs, you can sleep in my room."
"Thanks, Aerith," Riku said, too grateful to be embarrassed by her grin.
Half asleep still, and not entirely sure what the others were talking about, Sora was taken by surprise when Riku slid his arms beneath his shoulders and knees and lifted him. He pressed his face against his warm shoulder as Riku carried him up the stairs, following Aerith into her room.
Aerith pulled the blankets on the bed back so Riku could deposit him into the sheets, and he immediately rolled over and tugged them around himself, shivering again.
"Let me know if you need anything," Aerith whispered, patting Riku's shoulder. He nodded appreciatively, and she left him to strip down to his pants and curl up around Sora, pressing himself into his back to try and share some of his warmth with his freezing body.
Sora sighed contentedly. Riku's skin was almost too hot against his, causing it to sting and prickle, but it was immensely comforting.
"I'm not mad at you by the way," he said softly, voice shaking slightly as he shivered.
"Hmm?"
"Before I left I said I was mad at you... I'm not. I'm sorry..."
Riku smiled and kissed him behind the ear. "It's OK, get some more sleep."
Sora murmured something unintelligible, then winced and groaned as the ache in his heart briefly flared. Sensing what was wrong, Riku slipped an arm inside the borrowed shirt and rubbed Sora's chest gently, hoping to generate some warmth and soothe him as he fell asleep.
Something slammed against Riku's shoulder and jolted him awake.
"Get away!"
A hand was pushing against his arm and then he heard stumbling feet as Sora shoved him away. "What's wrong?" he called out, lunging for the light switch, ready to summon his weapon at the first hint of a threat. As light filled the room though he saw no one else there but them. Sora had staggered to his feet though and was lashing out at thin air.
"Sora!" Riku leapt from bed as well and at the same moment, Kairi burst through the door, eyes wide and hair in disarray. They both knew what was happening at once. They'd seen enough of Sora's night terrors before.
"Sora it's OK!"
"Get away! Get away!" he screamed, throwing his arms up as though trying to protect himself. Whatever phantom he was seeing seemed to be advancing on him as he stumbled back. "Stop!"
Both Kairi and Riku held back, afraid he'd mistake them for his nightmares. "Sora it's OK," Kairi called out again. "You're dreaming, it's not real!"
"Sora, wake up!"
He kept yelling, seemingly unable to hear their voices. He was too weak to stay standing much longer though and teetered back against the wall. He slid to the ground, raising his hands to his head, and Riku took the chance to dash forward and drop down in front of him.
"Sora, it's alright!"
He was gripping his head hard, nails digging into his scalp as he curled in on himself. "Get out, get out..." There was a voice in his head, a hooded man taunting him. Goading him. Laughing.
"Sora, open your eyes! SORA!"
The yell managed to break through his panic and, praying he wasn't about to see a stranger in a black coat, he forced himself to open his eyes. It wasn't that man. It wasn't Yen Sid, or Ansem. Thank goodness it wasn't them. It was Riku.
He lowered his hands and Riku saw recognition in his eyes. But as he smiled and tried to move towards him, Sora flinched and cowered away, still looking terribly afraid. His eyes darted back and forth between Riku and Kairi.
"Am I awake?" Taken aback, the others didn't answer, staring at him with confusion and worry on their faces. Sora lowered his eyes to his hands. They were trembling as much as his voice. "I... I can't tell if I'm awake or dreaming anymore."
Riku hesitated, then slowly reached out to hold one of his hands. "You're awake, this is real." Sora lifted his head, frozen for several moments. Then his face broke. Riku quickly closed the gap between them, pulling Sora onto his lap and into his chest so he could curl up against him.
"I don't want to change again, I don't want to change, don't let me do it, please... please Riku..."
"It's alright, you're still you." He kissed his temple and ran his hand through his hair as Sora clung to him, shaking with fear. He was gripping his shoulders so hard Riku thought there was a good chance he'd be left with bruises. He felt the beginnings of tears against his neck. "It's OK Sora, it's OK. I love you, it's going to be alright..."
Kairi's heart was aching, but her shoulders sagged with relief. She quietly left the room. Riku would call out if he needed her, and both Aerith and Naminé were waiting for her in the hall, needing to know if everything was alright. Sora's midnight yells had woken them as well.
Back on the floor of the bedroom, Riku did what he could to comfort Sora. It took a long time for the pure terror gripping him to pass. He'd been so sure Rage was stalking him in his dreams.
Eventually, the shaking began to calm, receding from the violent tremors of panic back to shivers from chill. When his desperate hold on Riku finally relaxed, his hands slid slowly down his back and hung at his sides. Riku wasn't sure if he had calmed down enough to fall asleep, or fainted from exhaustion again. Either way, he was grateful.
He didn't let go of him though. He stayed crouched on the floor, keeping him enveloped in his arms for the ten or so minutes it took for his breathing to slow as he slipped into a deeper sleep. Only then did he very carefully shift his arms around him, carry him back to bed, and draw the blankets up to his chin. He was still shivering badly, though that was probably a good thing. At least he was still warming up...
Riku suspected this would be the first of many sleep terrors, and the panic attacks would also return. He cursed Ansem and Yen Sid again. These severe nightmares had become so infrequent. Sora had been so much better, so much happier. He'd been happy again... After surviving those months of torture he'd been happy again. What if this brought all that pain back? How many more times was Sora going to have to go through this?
He took a deep breath as he realised he was shaking too. Well, if this did bring that anguish back for him, and that look in his eyes returned, then he would just have to hold him through it again. They'd be here with him until it was gone again, no matter how long it took. Even if it never faded, they'd be here beside him.
They left soon after dawn, once they had given Sora more time to rest, and they were sure it was safe to move him. He didn't seem to have regained much strength overnight though. He'd woken once more in the early hours of the morning thanks to another deep pain in his chest, and only managed to stay awake long enough for Riku to encourage him to drink some water and to fret over Riku's own exhausted appearance, before collapsing back, unable to keep himself sitting up any longer. They'd chosen not to wake him up to let him know they were leaving.
The bags beneath Riku's eyes were deep and dark. After Sora had fallen asleep he had done his best to stay awake, so he could try to calm him before the next nightmare became too severe, and keep an eye on his temperature. It had taken hours for him to stop shivering. But to everyone's great relief, he was warm again, and no longer delirious from the hypothermia. Even now though, as he carefully extricated himself from Sora's tangled limbs, Riku thought his hands and feet still felt too cold.
When Kairi came in to retrieve the boys' belongings she couldn't help but watch as Riku prepared to carry him out to the ship, captivated by his attentiveness.
She watched as he took the time to fold Sora's arms across his stomach before placing his own jacket over him, not wanting his hands to dangle in the cold once they stepped outside. She watched the way he cradled his head so gently as he slid an arm beneath his shoulders and leaned him forward, not wanting to jostle and risk waking him. She watched as he carefully placed the crown of Sora's head below his own chin before picking him up, keeping it nestled in place so his neck wouldn't take any strain as his cheek rested against his chest. She didn't think she'd ever seen someone take such care.
Despite these efforts though, the early morning sun woke him as they left Aerith and Naminé's home. "Put me down... I can walk."
Riku chuckled, having none of it. "I'd rather not risk you being wrong about that."
"You're tired," Sora murmured into his neck.
"Not half as tired as you."
"But..."
"Go back to sleep, you need rest."
He should protest further. Riku hadn't slept enough, he must be exhausted. But the gentle rhythm of his steps was soothing, and his own eyes were heavy. It was warm and comfortable in his arms... Maybe he should ask him to carry him like this all the time. Why had he been complaining again? He blinked.
He was lying in one of the bunks on the bottom floor of a Gummi ship, with Riku's jacket draped over him. He could feel the familiar hum of the ship's engine through the walls. Kairi was sitting next to him, fingers on his wrist as she checked his pulse. He tried to return the smile she gave him, but when she spoke her words seemed far away. He blinked.
And then Riku was lifting him in his arms again as if he weighed nothing, and the sun was shining on his face in the Land of Departure gardens. "It's good to be back," he sighed quietly.
Riku smiled and kissed the top of his head. "It's good to have you back."
He managed to stay awake this time, and when they reached the top of the stairs to the castle entrance Riku gave in to his renewed protests. "Really, I can walk now."
"Are you sure?" He nodded, and Riku slowly lowered his feet to the ground, keeping a steadying arm around him. Kairi disappeared further into the castle, and Riku guided him towards the bathroom so he could get cleaned up. It felt like a much longer walk than usual. He wondered if he may have made a mistake when he insisted on walking.
The hot water was a welcome balm against his aching muscles, as Riku helped him wash away the sweat, blood, and grime of the past two awful days. Any other time he might have felt embarrassed, needing assistance with something as basic as bathing. But right now, as he struggled against the fatigue and pain, all he felt was thankful. Thankful that Riku was always there to help him when he needed him. Thankful for the friends who had come to his aid. Thankful to be home. To still be alive.
As he pulled on the pyjamas Riku had fetched, expecting he would be spending most of that day in bed, he noticed the red rings around his wrists and ankles were beginning to turn a deep purple. Aerith's salve had diminished the grazes, but the bruises stood out starkly against his skin. He pressed a finger to his wrist and felt a dull throb before Riku took hold of his hand. "They chained you up?" Reluctantly, Sora nodded. Riku traced the edge of the bruise with his fingertips. "Do they hurt?"
"Just a little, they look worse than they are." When Riku went quiet Sora bent his head down in front of him, placing his face between him and his injuries. Riku's eyes were the ones that were hollow right now. He smiled up at him. "Don't worry, I'm alright now," he said as he gave his hand a squeeze. He kissed him on the cheek and the corners of Riku's mouth lifted a little.
When they returned to their room Kairi followed them in with three cups of tea, handed them each one as they sat on the edge of the bed, and pulled up a chair. Sora hunched forward to rest his arms on his thighs. "How are you feeling?" Kairi asked as he took a drink, holding his mug in both hands and looking like death.
"Pretty bad," he replied in a small voice. His entire body was aching as if he had been beaten, his chest most of all. He didn't think he'd felt this weary since returning from Quadratum, and despite the shower, he couldn't shake the feeling that his skin was somehow still dirty. But he grinned at them both, feeling happy despite everything. "I'm getting better though. Thanks for getting me out of there."
"If you could avoid disappearing or getting kidnapped in the future we'd appreciate it," Riku said with a wry smile, and the other two laughed.
"Heh, I'll do my best." He raised a hand to massage the point above his heart where the pain was still the worst. "I still don't get it though... why did they want to get rid of Rage so badly?"
"We know," Kairi said darkly, eyes dropping to her tea. She and Riku began to explain all they had learnt the day before and, as they did, a horrible lead weight began growing in Sora's stomach.
"...so they thought that man who was following you in Quadratum had made one of these- was it original darkness?"
Riku nodded, "they also called it a true darkness."
"Yeah, that he'd caused one of these true darknesses to possess you." She pointed to the text on Riku's phone again, to the line 'they will absorb the darkness.'
"That was why they were trying to pull Rage out, because they thought it was that," Riku continued. "But Chirithy knows about this book somehow, and they knew that wasn't what this part meant, it's about-"
"Are you sure?"
Sora's question caught them by surprise. He was staring at Riku with a deadpan look, but his eyes were boring into his.
"Yeah, Chirithy seemed pretty certain." He put a hand on Sora's shoulder and frowned as he tried to decipher his expression. "Why?"
Sora slowly turned away from him and stared into his empty mug, remembering the sensation of the darkness seeping deeper than his skin, burning its way down into his bones.
"When I changed, back then, it felt... It felt like something was trying to get inside me." His throat was suddenly tight and he swallowed hard, trying to clear the feeling of choking. "I thought it was just Rage but it felt so different... like something else was trying to take over me." He gave a sudden shiver and Riku put an arm around him.
"Even if he was trying to do something like that, you fought it off, right? You turned back each time."
"Yeah, I guess..."
"And you were in control when you changed this time, right?"
"Yeah..." That was true, it hadn't felt at all like Quadratum. Why had it been different though? His mind began wandering as he thought about the cracks he had seen in his skin, but his thoughts seemed to be moving slowly.
Kairi was saying something else about Chirithy now, something about the book and graveyards. Something about gratitude and sacrifices, in a soft, sad voice. Her words weren't making much sense anymore.
A few minutes after Kairi began she was interrupted by a loud clatter, as Sora's grip failed, and the mug in his hands fell to the floor. His body tilted, as though he were about to fall forwards and Riku quickly put an arm around his chest.
"OK, it's definitely time for you to go to sleep."
"But it's morning... isn't it?" He turned sluggishly, looking bemused and, in Riku's opinion, adorable.
He gave him his soft smile. "It is, but you need more rest."
"Oh, right..." he nodded and Riku helped him into bed. As he made to stand up Sora tugged on the edge of his shirt in protest, obviously expecting him to stay. Not seeing any point in resisting, and not really wanting to, Riku sat back down. He was in desperate need of more sleep as well.
Kairi giggled as she retrieved their mugs. "I'll see you guys later."
"Thanks, Kairi." Riku gave her a grateful nod as she left. Once the door swung shut he settled into bed next to Sora, so they were lying face to face.
Sora opened his eyes, looking groggy and pained, but then smiled as Riku ran a hand through his hair. "Hey," he murmured.
"Hey," Riku took his hand and kissed his fingers. "Wake me up if you need anything, OK?"
"Kay..."
As he shut his eyes again though Riku frowned and lightly pressed the back of his hand to Sora's forehead, and then his own. Maybe he was just being paranoid, but Sora's did seem slightly warmer... That would be adding insult to injury, he thought glumly, if after being freezing for so long he had gotten sick. He sighed. Better than hypothermia at least...
Exhausted from the ordeal of the past few days, he closed his eyes, and fell asleep.