Writing has not been going well lately. I KEEP STARTING PROJECTS AND NEVER FINISHING ANYTHING! Somebody needs to beat me with a stick. Hopefully it'll get better as the weeks go on; I just started back at my winter job and that takes so much out of me. Normally I can still balance that with writing and horses pretty well but I have new schedule, more hours this year, so basically I get home and want to go to bed. And that will get worse as it gets colder because I HATE being cold (but I love Christmas so worth it ig)

Enjoy this Prim chapter.

Primrose

The warmth of the fire is nice, although it doesn't really feel necessary. There's a chill in the night air, yes, but compared to the frigid temperatures of the arena, it's still heavenly. Rye wanted a fire, though. He said it might help rescuers find us. Hiron said it might also help the Capitol find us, but we have all done more than our share of listening to Hiron lately.

Not that his plan was bad. It was just unnerving to not know what was really going on. While the end result of Hiron's plan was good, I just think Rye is less likely to succeed and/or try pulling one over on us.

Overall, I'm not really worried about the Capitol finding us- I just don't think they're looking. When they were here earlier, with their hovercrafts and bombs, they didn't look long or hard for us. They seemed eager to get back to the city. I'm no expert, but that still made things pretty clear to me: they had bigger things to worry about then a quintet of children who will probably die in the wilderness anyway.

I chide myself for thinking so negatively, but then I decide that I've earned it. My life has been flipped on its end many times in the past few months. As of right now, I have no reason to think everything is all going to be okay in the end.

"This is the worst dinner I have ever had," Maris declares, making a face that is only enhanced by her still-gory eyebrow wound. "I wish we could go back and fish."

"You know why we can't, Maris," Jewel says sternly, taking the same tone my mother used on me when I was little and got into trouble. It didn't happen very often- I was a pretty good kid. Katniss, though. Katniss was a handful.

"Yeah, I know," Maris grumbles. For whatever reason, she has consented to Jewel mothering her- something wrong at home, Maris? "I just hate salad."

"It's not that bad," Hiron insists, more of an attempt to get back in my good graces than anything else. I'm the one who found the dandelion greens that make up our supper. Even I can admit it's only slightly better than eating nothing, but "nothing" is the only other option we have. There's plenty of prey scampering around, but we have no weapons or supplies with which to make snares. Until Maris finishes her homemade spear- which is going exactly as well as you would expect it to- we are stuck eating whatever edible plants we can find. And so far, that is exclusively dandelion greens.

"Maybe we'll find some berries tomorrow," I suggest hopefully. It's the middle of summer- lots of things should be in season. Although, I am undeniably out of my depth as far as identifying them goes. If Jewel is right and we are near District One, I am thousands of miles away from the things I do actually know.

"Berries," Maris sighs. At first I think she's just being critical of that too, but there's a longing note in her voice. "Anything but salad."

"Here, here," says Rye. But his mouth is full of said salad, so I don't think he can complain too much.

"So what's your next brilliant plan?" Maris asks, turning on Hiron. "You got us out of the arena. What did you suppose would happen next?"

Hiron shrugs. He looks a little uncomfortable, as anyone should when going up against Maris. "Well, I don't know. I guess I didn't think we'd get this far. I just thought, you know. It'd be a statement to make."

"A statement?" Maris repeats through clenched teeth.

I ignore her. I'm more concerned about Hiron, who has once again managed to surprise me. "You were making a statement? It was never about survival for you? You're a rebel?"

There's that evil-genius grin again. I can't decide if I hate it more or less now. "It was about survival too, of course. I knew we didn't have any chance in there and we have half a chance out here, so it was a no-brainer."

Ah, yes, casually outsmarting the Capitol's best and turning their own weapons against them. The classic no-brainer.

"And I mean…" He flashes that smile again. Ugh, I think I do like it. "Aren't we all rebels now?"

"Not by choice," Jewel reminds him. That part has stuck out like a sore thumb ever since it happened. We all would have agreed, I think. It just would have been nice to know.

We don't need to go over that again, though. Hiron has explained why he couldn't tell us before, and it makes sense. The more we knew about a plan that had a small chance of succeeding, the more danger we were in, and the more likely the Capitol would have picked up on what was going on and they would have sent some natural-but-unnatural disaster to take us out. It was better that way.

…and yet, Maris looks angry about it again, so I speak up before she can. "I know what's going to happen next."

"Oh yeah?" Maris crosses her arms. "Enlighten me."

She has this annoying but very effective way of shaking my confidence. I carry on anyway, trying to sound as certain as I felt just a moment ago. "Katniss will come rescue us," I announce. Oh, it does sound silly saying it out loud. "Katniss and the rebels."

She bursts out laughing. "Really? You think your sister is going to magically appear and rescue us?"

"It's not that ridiculous!" I say defensively. Normally I'm not confrontational at all, but nobody messes with my sister. "If Katniss can do anything to help me, she will! If she's alive and well, she'll be here as soon as she can!"

The look Maris gives me could probably wilt flowers. Rye makes it worse by jumping in where he's not needed. "Yeah, Maris, just because your sister doesn't care about you…"

"HEY!" Maris bellows, louder than I've ever heard her. She tosses the rest of her greens aside and scrambles to her feet. Oh no. Not a fight. "Don't talk about us like that!"

Rye flinches back immediately- a good show of common sense. "Okay, geez, I won't! I just assumed, from the way you were talking about it…"

"Well, quit assuming things. You look stupid enough as it is."

That's not very nice or true- Rye happens to be very handsome- but Maris has earned the right to be upset. We all sit back down around the fire and sort of settle down. I nibble on a piece of dandelion to calm my nerves. It doesn't help that Maris won't just let things go.

"What about you, Hiron? If anyone's getting rescued it's you. Is your dumb sister on her way to pick you up right now?"

As always, Hiron refuses to be rattled. "H will do exactly what she thinks is right. I don't know enough about her current situation to determine if that involves me or not. And for the record, I am not associated with the rebels at all- I'm no more likely to be rescued, and all my ideas are my own."

Maris snorts. "No wonder they're all so dumb."

Even direct insults do not faze him. "Well, that's the scientific process for ya. Give me a couple years and a lab and I'll build a much better bomb."

"You need years?!"

"Pulling it off in less than a week the first time was absolutely a fluke!"

"How did you not get us all killed?!"

He shrugs. "Luck, mostly?"

A shiver runs down my spine as I remember just how scared I'd been when we hid those mines. I hadn't known then that Hiron's confidence had been a bluff and we'd been moments away from death at any time. If I had, I don't think I would have gone along with any of it.

"You're the worst, Hiron," Maris declares, crossing her arms over her chest. She doesn't sound as angry as did before, though, and I consider that progress. "Actually, I'm sick of all you- go to bed! I'll take first watch."

It's really not that late, but I find that I'm exhausted. It's been a long, demanding, and messy day. I wouldn't say no to some rest. We mumble goodbyes and agreements about who takes the next shift, then go our own ways to find somewhere comfortable to curl up. Maris stays hunched over by the fire, the perfect image of a soldier, just a little smaller.

§

Rye wakes me up for my turn on watch. I roll over and groan; I think I could still sleep for a week. "Uh…morning."

"Technically," he says with a yawn, getting to his feet. I wipe the sleep from my eyes and move to the fire again, which has been kept roaring through the night. Rye sits down next to me.

"You're not going back to bed?" I ask, surprised.

"I couldn't sleep before. It's too hot."

That makes me smile. "It's not too hot. You've just gotten too used to being cold."

"Ah, same thing."

I, for one, do not think it's too hot, and I definitely wouldn't have trouble sleeping more. But I'm grateful for the company. I've always hated keeping watch, especially during the darkest part of the night. When you're alone, every little noise sounds like something out to get you, and I'm getting way too familiar with the sense of terror that grips me.

"Did you know what he was planning, Prim?"

The question nearly sends me into a state of shock. "Hiron? No, of course not. Why would I know?"

Rye shrugs. Like he'd just said something totally normal and not basically accused me of treason. "I think he likes you best."

I don't know why that makes my cheeks turn warm. "That might be true, I guess. But he didn't tell me anything- I believe him, that he didn't even know if it would work or not."

"So do I, for whatever reason," he sighs. "…but I'm really glad it did."

Again, it occurs to me how different our lives look from how they looked this morning, and how different that was from the week before. I might have no idea what's ahead of me, but what's behind me is equally confusing and distressing.

"Now the question is…what next?" I speak aloud what we've all been worrying about quietly.

"That's a good question." He sighs so heavily it seems to come from his very bones. "I hope you're right about your sister, Prim. I really, really do."

§

After Rye goes to bed, the hours drag on and on. I drum my fingers against the log, having no other way to pass the time besides worry, and watch the moon. Boredom seems excruciating, but I remind myself that the only thing worse than a boring watch shift is an eventful one. Still, I'm beyond relieved when it's time to wake Hiron up for his turn.

He practically springs to life as soon as I touch his shoulder- that's Hiron for ya. "Morning, Prim," he says cheerfully, but quietly. At least it's closer to morning now, even though it's still pitch black. I'm still definitely going back to bed, though. Being awake for hours has not made me feel any livelier.

"Morning, Hiron," I reply with a yawn. "Aaaaaand goodnight."

"Wait, one thing!" he says urgently.

I pause mid-yawn. "Huh?"

"Are you mad at me?"

Unbelievable.

This guy has reprogrammed mines, destroyed something that was meant to be indestructible, and has either dramatically saved the day or ruined it. And he wants to know if the girl he met last week is mad at him.

"I'm not mad at you," I tell him, because it's the truth. "And I don't think the others are either, for what it's worth. Except for Maris, I guess."

His shoulders sag. "See, and even though I know Maris is always angry about something, I still feel bad."

"I think that's called having a conscience, Hiron."

"Can I send it back?"

"You probably shouldn't. It's what helps you learn from your mistakes."

Now he smiles, a real smile. "Well, I hope I'm never in a position to make this same mistake again. But I do promise, if I'm ever going to blow something up again, I'll tell you first."

"See, that's some real personal growth right there."

We just stand there grinning at each other, and for a minute, I don't feel all that tired anymore. I shake that off quickly and gesture towards the spot I had claimed for myself earlier. "I should, you know get to bed. I'll see you in the morning."

He takes a step back, but he hasn't stopped smiling. To be honest, I haven't either. I realize- a completely inappropriate thought for the time- that now that we're free of the arena, Hiron and I don't have to worry about facing each other down as enemies. We're free to be whatever we want.

"Goodnight, Prim."

Before I can think anything more of it, he's tossing another branch on the fire and I'm supposed to be a sleep. Suddenly, the part of me that was tired seems very far away.

§

The sun in my eyes wakes me up, and it's the most wonderful thing in the world. Oh, to not be in a cave! Dimly, I remember the occasions where I used to wake up inside of a house, but that's so far from my current reality that I don't linger on it for long.

I yawn and stretch and look around. I'm the first one up- besides Jewel, who claimed the last shift on watch. The others are sleeping peacefully- well, as peacefully as they get, I guess. Maris has her homemade spear tucked under her arm like a normal person might tuck a pillow or a stuffy. Hiron still looks relatively harmless, though.

I get up as quietly as I can and slip past Jewel, who gives me a terse little nod. I figure, as long as I'm up, I might as well be doing something useful, and I'm sure everyone would be really happy to have something other than dandelion greens for breakfast. Surely there's something around here to eat.

I poke around a little but don't find much. There's the remains of a blueberry bush, picked clean by birds, and some kind of bush with round red berries that I don't recognize. The red ones look so good my mouth waters, but common sense prevails. If I don't know what it is, I really shouldn't eat it, and the birds are probably avoiding it for good reason. Instead, I pick more dandelion greens, hoping the others won't complain too much.

By the time I get back to camp, the others are awake too. Rye is tending the fire. Maris is scraping the rock on the end of that stick again, trying to make it look more like a spear, and Hiron and Jewel are in some kind of tense conversation.

"I brought breakfast!" I try, hoping we're not looking at another argument. If there's ever a time we needed to act like a team, it's now.

Everyone looks at me. Maris scrunches up her nose when she sees what I'm carrying. "More salad?"

"It's all I could find," I admit. "Well. All I could find that I could grab."

There is no shortage of prey running around the hills, but it doesn't do us much good right now. We can't eat what we can't catch.

"If it was me, I would've caught something," Maris declares, going back to her spear. I don't bother responding. That's just Maris being Maris.

The rest of us sit down by the fire- Jewel and Maris on the log, the rest of us cross-legged on the ground- and nibble at our greens. It doesn't bother me so much. I'm getting used to being hungry, or at least, never being full. I think there is a difference, though.

"We should start walking soon," Jewel announces without warning. "I don't like staying in one place for too long, and we're still too close to the arena."

"Walking?" I repeat, my voice climbing to new octaves. "Walking where?"

"To District One," she replies assertively. "There are people who can help us there, make sure the Capitol doesn't find us. But we need to start moving now."

"But- then how will the rebels find us and rescue us?" I ask. I hate to admit my lip is trembling. I think I've dealt with everything up until now very well, but I've just hit some limit I didn't know I had.

"Prim, we can't count on being rescued." Jewel's tone is suddenly much gentler. "If they were coming to save us, don't you think they'd be here by now?"

I pause. I guess it has been more than a day. But giving up on the rebels- and by the rebels I mean my sister- isn't something I'm quite ready to do.

When I don't respond, Maris jumps in- because that is exactly what this situation needs, obviously. "We don't even know if our sisters are still alive! We have to quit wasting time!"

She sounds so urgent that I'm pushed even closer to tears. I know, right then and there, by the desperation in her voice that Maris really, truly cares about her sister,

She's wrong about one thing, though- it's not wasting time. It could never be wasting time. But, even as I tremble, I have to admit that she's right about everything else. We don't know what happened to Storm and Katniss and the rest of them after they escaped the arena. For all we know, nobody came for them either, and they're wandering around these mountains too, just trying to get home.

"It's up to us now," says Rye, placing a steady hand on my shoulder. I struggle to gleam any comfort from it. "One way or another, though, we'll get home."

Home. It feels so incredibly far away right now. I nod along with him anyway, feeling hollow and fragile at the same time, and I push the rest of my dandelions aside. Suddenly, I'm just not hungry anymore.

Finally a sort of normal-length chapter. I am so back.