Право на свободу и личную неприкосновенность
.
.
Twenty minutes earlier:
Do you see this, here?
What? That?
Yes.
I... P... I. What does that mean?
It's not a P, that curve here means it's an L. That's cyrillic. Ili.
And?
Ili's a major river running from China to Kasachstan. If we are really in this area we just have to follow the river and we'll get out.
Reading these letters on the side of a truck, below some Chinese characters cheered me up. Probably a desginator, telling to what part of the country the company belonged that was stationed here. It gave me back some hope- if we get out of here, into what direction should we run? That had been one of my biggest fears at all. Now we have something to guide us. A path into freedom.
How far is the border?
Could be 200 miles, could be twenty. I can't tell. 200 miles or 20 - they are both within reach. We can really make it over to Kasachstan. If I remember things correctly, even a larger city could be in reach: Almaty. And I have friends there. God... we could really make it. Ili makes sense. I know that the container didn't travel very long after they changed from the Russian railroad system to the Chinese. They probably shipped me through Kasachstan and changed there, from the standard Russian rail gauge to the narrower Chinese one.
I crouch down, counting the guns and magazines that I have now. I took them all from the guards I killed in the past minutes. Five full magazines, four guns.
Here. I hand off one of the guns to Audrey. Use it only if you really need it. If we get parted...
We won't get parted, she interrupts me.
Audrey, if-
We won't! The idea is so horrific to her, that she doesn't even want to talk about that.
We don't have time for that kind of a game. They're already looking for us, and we've just taken cover behind one of their vehicles parked in a dark corner. We're so lucky that they haven't yet started to look for us in the right place.
Audrey! I grab her by her upper arms, and I'm not very careful whether I'm hurting her or not. I never got rough on her, not once - but now I don't have to the time for hysteric answers and being blinded by fear. If we get parted... I say, hissing it - she's silent, frozen by the tone of my voice and my firm grab, you have to continue alone. They'll not expect us to split up. They expect us to stay together and they and the public around here will be instructed to look for the both of us. Do you understand? If we have to split up, we have to continue alone, and meet again later. You cannot stay somewhere and wait for me. I wouldn't even know where you are, I can't search for you and can't search for me. We have to continue, whatever comes, and we'll meet again much later.
She silently nods. She's trembling with fear, I can feel it.
I'm so sorry for her. But I can't help her now. She's looking into my eyes, pleading me not to leave her alone, ever.
You have to know where to go, Audrey, I tell her. I can't hiss at her. I have to talk calmly, to make her listen.
You have to follow the river, Audrey. I don't know how the border looks like - if you can cross easily. But I guess so. Otherwise, get out of the river and cross the border somewhere else, up in the mountains. Then join the river again, when you're past the border. After another 100 miles there will be a lake. See if you can get to the other end of the lake, there's a city. Steal some clothes and hop onto a train south, to Almaty, that is not very far. There is a big cathedral, the Zenkov cathedral. Go there - it's the only one in town, you can't miss is. Next to it is a convent, then nuns of Deva Mariya. Ask for Yokhanna. Tell her I sent you, she knows my name.
I know this is much for her. But she'll make it. I know my Audrey. She's capable of doing things like that, because she's strong. She survived here, until now, and she'll also reach Almaty and Yokhanna. Those nuns helped me and some of my Serbian friends, years ago, when we tried to free some girls out of the claws of white slavers. She'll also help Audrey now.
Did you understand that?
She nods.
Shall I repeat it?
She shakes her head. Follow the river, lake, city, train south to Alamaty. Cathedral, nuns, ask for Johanna.
She got it right. I knew it. It's time to ease that grab around her shoulders. I even manage to give her a little smile.
And when will I see you you again?
I have to say something to cheer her up. She's really expecting to see me again. But I only told her that story to cover for the case in which I won't even make it out of here alive.
Let Yokhanna give you a dress to wear. Wait for me in the back of the cathedral, every afternoon from two to five. A nun praying in a church won't attract any attention. If I get there faster I'll wait for you there. You wait for two weeks, and if I don't show up you go to the US consulate and tell them everything.
That's risky. Most likely, they won't believe her. But it's less risky than any other option that I can think of. It would be safer for her if I come to her and contact the few friends that I have to get her out of the country without anyone noticing who she really is.
I'll wait for you, she answers silently. I can hear in in her voice how reassured she is now. I gave her something to hope for, a reason.
I'll wait for you.
That sentence of hers is still in my head, while I lie here, on my back, thinking about her all the time. Everything hurts, I can barely move.
It's quite a while since I last experienced such a beating. I guess my nose and my cheekbone are broken. I taste blood in my mouth and I'm not really sure where it comes from. Could also be a tooth that broke out. It's cold in here, without any clothes on. They are letting me freeze on purpose. Even the blanket that I had before all that is gone now. There's nothing but me and the cold concrete floor.
I cannot move. Even if I try.
I'm hungry but they're not giving me anything. I wouldn't know how to chew it anyway, the way my jaws hurt. Maybe suck the bread until it dissolves. Well...
Audrey.
Where is she. Did she make it. Is she safe? Is she hurt? Is she also lying here, somewhere, in a cell, like I am, beaten up and bloody?
I really hope not, though I can't tell for sure.
I lost sight of her when I started to distract the people on the boat. I swam out, giving them the impression that we were about to cross the river. They fired at me: rubber bullets. I'd been right in the beginning. They still want to give me back to the Russians. They did not kill me. But they didn't go easy on me either.
Getting hit by rubber bullets can break your bones. I guess the water braked the bullets just enough not to break my bones. But they still hurt massively. It was hard to swim on, not to drown, while they kept firing.
When the boat approached me I changed directions, the missed me. They had to take another turn to come to me again.
We played that game several times. I always made them miss me and they had to drive a big circle and go back again and again. The soldiers on the boat had something like a net, which they tried to throw at me, to get me out of the water.
At the fourth pass, the net got caught into the branch of drift wood that I'd been holding on to, ripping it out of my hands.
My only help to swim was gone. I was really on my own, and after each other rubber bullet that hit me, I felt a bit more like drowning.
Ten minutes later I could fight them no more. I don't really remember how they tore me out of the water. I must have been close to drowning. They cuffed my hands and my legs and tied me to a hook on deck, while they then continued their search for Audrey.
They searched on the other river bank, thinking that we both had crossed the river.
I tried to bite back the happiness. Don't smile. Don't ever show that your plan of fooling them succeeded.
After a really long time of searching there, they turned to the other side, shining their searchlight on the river and the left river bank.
They didn't find her.
Two hours later, they gave up. The sun was then already about to rise.
They brought me back to their compound and gave me hell, asking me where she is, where she's headed.
For the first time in months, I'm being tortured again for something. They don't just want me to suffer. They started to ask questions. Real questions!
I won't say anything. Never.
I have a reason again to stay silent and to fight them. Even a better one than national security or the things that I've always fought for.
I hung in the chains watching my blood drip to the floor, while they kept beating me. She's was not there, like on the days before. The chair on which they'd put her during the interrogations was empty now. They kept asking me questions about her and our escape plans, which means that she made it away from here.
They way to Almaty is long. And dangerous. I don't know if she'll make it all the way there, but at least she got away from here. She has a chance.
Unlike me.
But that's okay.
.
.