Гавана

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Havana is hot and humid - even though it's only End of March. Compared to the cold Russian winter that I just came from, I should enjoy it - but I can't. I'm wearing a white shirt with long sleeves to cover the few wounds and bruises that I still have on my arms. I'm not allowed to attract any attention around here.

Chloe and I stand at an open Bistro, still close to the harbor, at a high table. I watch Belcheck who is on the other side of the street, where the reception was better. He's calling one of our friends in Serbia, who'll contact Yokhanna for us. We can't do it directly- too dangerous for anyone involved.
Our friend is working for a relief organization in Montenegro that always supported the convent in Almaty. It's the only secure way to get in contact with Yokhanna. It must be subtle enough. Some years ago, we relied on their connection when we had to get a girl out of the hands of a bunch of white slavers - who had obviously taken the wrong girl in the eyes of the 'uncle' of Belcheck. Igor. They all call him 'uncle' even though I don't even know who he's actually related to or not. It's the guy who rules the town.

I helped Belcheck sometimes, when he did him a 'favor' - but I haven't met him more than two times in four years. That's good. I wouldn't want to meet the 'uncle' more often. I guess Belcheck must be even subtle enough now not to let the 'uncle' get wind of what he and Chloe were doing during the last days.

I've hardly ever been so tensed up.
Belcheck was not amused when Chloe told him about the signatures on Audrey's British death certificate. They prove nothing, he said. Actually, he's even right with that. Nothing was proven by the fact that two unknown persons signed that piece of paper.
But it is a first lead that supports my story: that she could very well be alive. Nobody made an autopsy, nobody took a DNA sample or anything else. The doctor on call recorded her death, probably it was even him and the other guy who drove her to a nearby hospital, followed by an MI5 car, and that was it. A mortician was called to provide the casket and bring her to the airport - a noble company, one that usually also works for the royal family. It seems like the British prime minister saw it as his country's duty to do this for Heller. The British Home Office ordered the mortician only a few hours past Audrey's death. Chloe found some documents by now. That guy seems to be trustworthy.
Maybe the unknown drivers of the ambulance car switched the bodies. That's a possible scenario. If not, there must be one more scenario that we just haven't thought about yet.
Because she's alive. I know it. Nobody can talk me out of this.

Belcheck is finished now. He's coming back over.
The tension grows.

'What would you do if she was in Almaty?' he asked me, earlier, between his phone calls.
I'd go there and get her.
He told me I was crazy to do this. The risk was horribly high. I am a Russian prisoner on the run, still sentenced to life. I can't go to Kazakhstan on any possible route. Not through China, not through Russia, and all the other possible routes sound even worse: Kyrgyzstan or Uzbekistan through Afghanistan or Iran. Rough part of the world. And Audrey seems to be right in the middle of it.

He stands next to Chloe now, taking a sip of his coffee.
I know that he's just trying to act natural, like a usual tourist, that's what our visas say. But I could jump his throat for not telling me right away what the guy from Montenegro told him. He notices that. But we all have to keep a low profile.

She's not there, he finally says.

My heart sinks.

Never arrived.

Anger. Helplessness. Worry. The need to shout out loud. That's all there within the blink of a second.
But I have to maintain our cover.
I'm gonna bottle up all this anger, to unleash it later. There will be an occasion to release it, I'm sure.

Is he sure?, I ask Belcheck, Did he talk to her personally?

Yes. She was surprised to hear from him. Nobody came to her or anyone else there.

He doesn't like that I ask back. He doesn't like this whole idea. He only does this because he's my friend and Chloe probably talked him into it as well.

What are you gonna do now?, Belcheck asks me.

I have no idea. That's probably also how I look like, now, behind my dark sunglasses.

You should come with us.

No. Did he really say 'us', expecting Chloe to go back to Serbia with him? I'm glancing sidelong, at her. She's caught in the middle. Will she keep her promise, helping me find Audrey?
I can't do this to her. For her, it's a real danger to go back to the US, where they're still treating her as a fugitive.

I can't come with you. I have to sort this out, I say, although I have no idea to do this.

How?

That goddamn question. If I knew the answer I wouldn't still be here. I have to go to Washington DC. See what I can do there.

You wanna got to the White House and tell them your story? Belcheck laughs.

Heller has to...

Heller is no longer in office, Chloe cuts in. I didn't know that.

Why? ... unimportant. Then it's even easier to get to him. In my mind, I'm already going through the security details and plans. There will be a chance to contact him, there has to be. I'll find out where he lives.

I wouldn't say so, Chloe says, he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. I'm not sure in what condition he is.

He will remember his daughter. Audrey meant everything to him. She's the very last thing he'd ever forget.

And if not?, Belcheck asks again, Or what if nobody of them believes you?

Something will come up. I take my cup of coffee and finish it in one draught. Can't stand these questions any longer. Have to go. Even if they're my friends, this is not their war. It's mine. They obviously don't want to participate in my war. Gotta go.

As I already take my bag to leave, I hear him say Wait.

I halt for a moment. He's standing there, on the other side of the table. I wish I could read thoughts - does he want to knock me out and drag me home to keep me from doing something stupid? A year ago, I did that on one occasion, to him. But that was different. I was a dead drunk bar fight and not a plan to rescue the First Daughter of the US.

You're my friend, Jack, he begins, I'm not trying to talk you out of this because I'd be too scared to pull through with your plans. Your plans are awful. You shouldn't do this. You said it yourself that they told you they shot her. They stopped questioning you about her. She never arrived in Almaty, we just got that confirmed. There's nothing left you could save.

That's not good enough for me. That's exactly what they wanted to make me believe. I won't rest until I see her body. I hate to say these words. After all, he's right. I could very well be about to try to rescue a dead person. You did enough for me, Belcheck. I can do this alone and I will. Whatever you say won't stop me. Finally, I take my bag again. Have a save trip home. Thanks for everything.

I hate to leave them like that. They just saved my life and I'm already throwing myself back into danger again. But I don't owe them to step back and enjoy the life that they've given me back. I have to do this. Audrey is out there. The whole world has given up on her. But I won't.

For a second I have a look at Chloe, but she won't come with me, I can see that.

I'm already a few steps away from the diner, having left wordlessly, when she catches up with me. I can't go back to the States, Jack. She's apologizing.

It's okay. You don't have to, I say, but keep on walking.

She gives me a sheet of paper with her phone number on it. Any hour, she says. I can call her at any time. Even if she doesn't come with me, that's gonna help me.
Finally, I stop walking and give her a short hug as a good bye.

And now I have to find a boat that'll bring me to the US.
I haven't been home in over four years.

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