государственная измена

.

.

Whoever they are, they're not trying to kill me -at least not now- and neither are they trying to get information out of me. They are trying to make me weak-minded and they are playing awful mind games, telling me that I was safe here and acting like they were my friends: but they are not.

I've been sitting here, for hours, constantly under the influence of some drugs, which have an effect that's somewhere between alcohol and sleeping pills. My head is dizzy, I'm close to getting sick whenever I move and I'm tired.
But there's something in them that keeps me from falling asleep. Or is it my anxiety over being here?

Don't know.

They are Americans. They have captured me for a reason. If they had wanted to kill me, they would have done it, I'm sure. But unfortunately, not one hundred percent.

This must have something to do with Audrey. I'm sure that they followed me, ever since I was in Arlington again, at her grave. They must have waited for me there, expecting me to show up eventually.
Was it a mistake to go there?

No. I won't hide. Not here, in the US. I wouldn't even know who I'm hiding from. They have too many means to get to me.

The door opens, a guy comes in. The same one again who already talked to me.

He comes over and opens up the cuffs around my hands that tied me to the armrests of the chair.

Shall I go for him? Strangle him?

I'm not even able to lift my hands! Damn it, what is it that they've given me? Whatever is was, it leaves me totally numb. That guy doesn't even care to have a weapon. It was no big deal for him to uncuff me- don't make it look like you're my friend just because you took the handcuffs off me that you don't need anyway!

He calls me by my name. He knows who I am. Even calls me by my first name. Should I talk to him? I won't have much of a choice if I want to get some answers for the thousand questions in my head.

What do you want from me?

He just sighs and looks at me. You're causing a lot of trouble, he begins, you're running around, triggering investigations that could become a serious threat.

A threat to who?, I manage to say. I'm not a threat to anyone. I barely got out of Russia and all the agencies know that I'd be happy to just live a life in peace at home and never touch any weapon again. Heller gave me a chance by pardoning me. I would never ruin that. I would never be a threat to anyone any more. Who are you working for?

He seems to ask himself now if he should tell me or not.

Who are you?, I ask him again, I doesn't matter if you tell me, I guess I'm already as good as dead.

He smirks. I'm surprised to hear such a sober assessment of your situation, he almost laughs, but that makes things easier, I guess.

This is about Audrey Raines, I say. I refuse to call her by her other last name.

Yes, indeed, he sighs. He starts circling the chair on which I sit. I can barely move my head to follow him with my eyes. I hate it when he stands behind me and I can't see what's going on.

You've contacted a former CIA operative, Agent Morgan, then the regional office that surveilled her was called to attention, Agent Wilson and his team... the circle was widening, Jack. The circle of people who were concerned about either your mental state of health or that your testimony that the former First Daughter is still alive and in enemy hands might be true.

Does he doubt me? Does he think I'm crazy, that I'm just making this all up? Hell, no! Haven't I showed them the inconsistencies that Chloe found out? Haven't I already told them what happened in the past months?
She's alive, I gasp. I have to make this clear to him. She is alive, I repeat, louder, this time.

He walks back over, until he's facing me again. Slowly he crouches down in front of me, lying his hands on the armrests on my chair.
I would like to grab him by his shoulders, rattle him and tell him once more that he has to believe me. But I can't. The stuff they gave me makes me weak. I can't move an inch.
She's alive, I tell him again, but I only manage to speak under my breath.

I look into his eyes. Doesn't he believe me? Or does he?

I freeze. He does believe me. He already knows that Audrey is alive! He knows it!
That look in his eyes sends shivers down my back.

You have to get her out!, I hiss, but I already know that he's not here to get her out. They have already known she was alive, even before I told them! They are keeping this information from getting public. They didn't do anything to save her. When I appeared, I knew facts that they had kept from getting public. You have to get her out, I tell him again, this is your duty, whatever agency you're working for!

My duty is to keep my country safe. He stands up again. That's what I'm here for.

Then get her out. She was held in a prison in a military compound, somewhere at river Ili. I already said that to Agent Wilson. I don't know where she ended up after we tried to make a getaway. I'm sure he already knows all the things that I said to Wilson. But I have to remind him of his duty again. Get her out!

He's shaking his head now. Of all the people out there on this planet, Jack, I guess you are the one to know at first hand that you don't just invade Chinese territory and snatch someone.

So he knows about my raid, twelve years ago. You can't compare that. That was an informant. She's the First Daughter!

Yes, and that's the point. Decisions were made. Condolences were said. Official statements were made. The United States of America don't just lose the president's daughter and bury her while another nation is questioning her.

What!? I want to scream and shout now, more than ever. You can't be serious! You swore to protect this country! Those are political games! They're not getting her out because of political implications? It's hard to scream. It was hard to talk, but it's even harder to scrape up my last powers to yell at him. Whatever agency you work for - we swore to protect this country and its people!, I yell at him.

EXACTLY!, shouts back, angrily. He grabs my throat and squeezes it to keep me from shouting back at him. We swore exactly that! First the country, then its people! Are you aware what this all could trigger once it gets public?

He's squeezing my throat so hard that I'm sure if he only wants to stop me from shouting back or wants to strangle me. It's hard to breathe.

His face is real close to mine now. He hears me fight for air.
This could become a full scale bilateral crisis. Diplomatic crisis. Economic sanctions. Trade war. Military sanctions.

When he lets go of my throat again, I'm out of words to shout back. That's all just money, I say, but I'm not so sure if I said it to him or just to myself, telling myself that whoever is behind him is consciously denying Audrey being alive for the sake of diplomatic and economic reasons.

Our relations to China have never been as good as they are now, he remarks, walking through the room, the life of one person is not a reason to undermine that.

He is sickening me. I'd like to spit in front of his feet, but I'm too weak to do that. This is treason, I just tiredly murmur.

No, it's not, Jack. What you are doing is treason, he speaks, you are damaging the prosperity of your country and its people with your actions.

No, I'm not. We both know that, even if he refuses to see things like I do. I'm not damaging anyone with what I'm doing. I'm trying to save Audrey's life, that's all. That can't be wrong!
Sitting here, I'm not so sure if I'll ever be able to save her. I'm in the hands of whoever is behind this guy, utterly and completely at their mercy.
She did nothing wrong and ended up in captivity, I just murmur, more to myself than to him, you have to save her.

He comes back over, looking down on me. And you did many things wrong, Jack, you were sentenced to life for murder - and you got out of prison. Now is that fair?

It's not. I know it. But that's not my primary concern now. I know that I killed, I know that the Russians had a very good reason to sentence me to life. It was even a mild sentence, compared to the things I did. But...
That has nothing to do with Audrey, I tell him.

Right... he sighs, and turns around to leave.

You have to get her out!, I shout, with the last of my powers.

He turns around at the door, smiling No. The problem solved itself, Jack. She didn't survive your little getaway.

I don't believe you. I refuse to believe this. She can't be dead.

They detected her a few miles downstream of the prison, well before the border to Kazakhstan. They shot her on sight.
Saying nothing else, he walks out and slams the door behind him.

I already was weak before, but now I feel the life draining from me. This can't be true. He's just saying this to make me give up and comply. To stop my everlasting efforts to make somebody believe she's alive. He's saying it to make me go crazy.
If I believe him, I'm letting her down. I'm not allowed to believe him. He's lying. He could be making this all up, out of the details of my and Audrey's getaway, which I told Agent Wilson.

I can't believe him. She's not dead.

But the doubt remains.

.

.