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Up to now, luck was on my side. It was about time. The cars of the convoy didn't crash. There were three of them. My first grenades took out the first one and the broken vehicle blocked the road. Two more grenades took out the last one and most of its men. The curtain fire worked out just as planned. They were taking cover behind their cars, trying to fire at the two muzzle flames which they saw on each side of the valley, while I was well behind the convoy and had almost every time in the world to take them out one after another.

But there was no time to lose. I left everything behind just the way it was, the rifles, the triggers, the rest of my ammunition and the unused grenades, as I rushed down to the convoy with just two guns to take out the rest of them and the wounded ones.

They didn't even have the time to call for help. Chloe monitored the activities in the camp on her satellite feed. As she sent me a message, half an hour later, still nobody in the camp was in any kind of alarm mode. Business as usual. Thirty more minutes later, again.

It took the people from the camp more than one full hour to realize what's going on. Luck was on my side this time. Half the way between the point of the assault and the border lie already behind me. I feel that we can make it this time. Another thirty minutes later, Chloe's message tells me that the camp is finally being mobilized. This is not exactly what I had hoped for, but it's still something that I had expected much earlier to come. They have no chance to catch up on us.

We're in the mountains, far away from the main streets, the river or any towns. It's just me, Audrey, the car that I'm driving and the wilderness. They are looking for us, for sure. The street that I'm driving runs almost parallel to the border. If they are now looking for us, they are using satellite images for sure. They could spot the car right away. I have to get rid of it and we have to continue by foot. It's not far. Maybe three miles to the border, another two on the other side of the border until we reach the street on which Belcheck is patrolling, looking for us.

I stop the car and help Audrey to get out, take out only the most important things that we'll need in the next few hours and then I get rid of the car, sending it over a cliff, down into a lake. That lake is the place that I had hoped to reach: they can't find the car or its warm engine on any thermal scan any more.

During the past hour I had almost no time to care for Audrey. She was in a bad shape when I got her out of the prisoner transport van. I'm sure they gave her some drugs to make her compliant. She's almost back in the state in which she was, eight years ago. She didn't respond to anything. I had to drag her out and force her into my car because she didn't recognize me. My face was all painted black for the assault. I tried to wipe the black color off during the drive, but I'm sure I still don't look like I used to.

She cried, all the way long. Loudly, first, and then silently, after she realized that nothing would change. Her hands were cuffed. Given the situation, I didn't even uncuff her. I couldn't have fought her and the Chinese soldiers, would they have followed us.

Now she's sitting at the roadside, next to the few items of baggage that I got out of the car before sending it down into the lake. We have to get away from this place, before they spot us on the satellite image. She's still crying, and frightened. I told her to stay there, and she did. Did she recognize me, after all?

Slowly I crouch down in front of her. Only the moonlight barely lights up her face. She is dirty, wearing those old prison clothes and her hair is frisked and dishevelled - but to me, she's still the most beautiful person on earth. I can see behind all those superficial things. I hope she's somewhere in there, behind the veil of drugs that is blinding her judgement now.

Slowly. Move slowly, I remind myself. I cannot rush things now. I've been in a hurry for the past one and a half hours and I had no time to take care for her. That's why she didn't stop crying. Does she hate me now, because of that? I wished I could apologize to her and make her understand that I had no other choice but to treat her that way.

Audrey, I silently say her name, wiping over my face again to get rid of that damn black color.

There is a reaction in her. She's frightened to the bone, I can see that. But she looks into my eyes for a second, even though she doesn't say a single word. I have to fight the urge to tell her I love her. Maybe it would frighten her even more, and confuse her.

Carefully I take the short chain between her handcuffs into my hand, showing her the key. I have to open up her handcuffs and don't even know yet if she is going to let me touch her at all.
One after one I open them up. She immediately pulls back her right hand when I open it up. But she doesn't pull back her left hand. Can't she? Or does she just not want to? I wish she was able to talk to me right now. She isn't.

Hesitatingly I stretch out my hand. As I place my fingers on hers, she doesn't pull her hand away. We're looking into each other's eyes. We are at the end of the world, surrounded by people who want to see us dead. She knows that I'm not one of them. I can see it in her eyes that she knows I mean well for her.

When I ask her if she can stand up and walk she even tries. She's able to stand on her own feet, but in no way is she able to walk. I don't know what they've done to her in the past seven weeks. I don't even wanna know, it would only make me angry beyond belief.

But this all means that I have to carry her. We have to get rid of everything that we don't really need and I have to carry her instead. It's approximately five miles. Three miles to the border, then we're safe. Another two until we reach that street.

I leave the assault rifle and most of the ammunition back, hiding it in the vegetation. A bottle of water and one of my two guns plus three clips of ammo must be enough, plus a night vision monocular. I don't plan on getting into a firefight anyway. This is just to fight off dangerous animals which are around here, I guess.
The gun is in the holster at my ankle. Thermal blankets are around our shoulders, not to keep us warm but to cover our body heat from the thermal satellite images. In case of Audrey the blanket probably serves for both purposes. It's unpleasantly cold out here and she wears nothing but those prison clothes. Her whole body is trembling of the cold, as I piggyback her. I hope that my back and the thermal blanket will warm her up again.

She weighs almost nothing. She was always slim, but now she weighs less than the backpacks that I had to carry back in my Army days. Her arms are nothing but skin and bone. I hope she'll at least be able to hold on to me. Her whole body is nothing but skin and bones.
Even though she weighs almost nothing for a grown up person it's hard to carry her through the night. I can hardly see where we're going. There are some trees but no real forest. There are lots of stones and rocks, but there's no way to walk on. From time to time, I have to put her down and climb down or up a few feet. We're getting ahead much slower than I had expected.

We've only made a few hundred yards so far and I'm already tired. I've been up on my feet for a really long while, coming here on the exact same way, starting at five o clock in the afternoon. Back then I had a lot of weapons to carry on my back, but it was easier. They were bound to my backpack. It's much harder to carry a person than a heavy backpack.
Back then it was still bright - at least twilight. Nobody was looking for me. I didn't have to hide from any satellite image.

Now it's completely dark. I'm afraid of making one false step. I could easy break my leg or tear a ligament. That would be a death sentence.

Audrey is not a real help. Her only task is to keep holding on to me and keep covered underneath that thermal blanket. I told her what we need it for: to have some cover from thermal satellite images. I'm not sure how much of that she understood. She still didn't say one word.

I keep talking to her, about the way, about things that I see, the stones, the rocks that we have to climb from time to time. Maybe she understands what I say, maybe she doesn't. I hope that hearing my voice will keep her calm enough to carry on.
It has a therapeutic effect on me as well. We're alone out here, in the dark and in the wilderness, but as long as I can talk to her, I don't feel alone. I hate to be out here and I guess she wouldn't feel so much better about being alone in the dark wilderness. I hope my voice will distract her from the ugly reality and keep her mind occupied.

Her face is right next to mine. I feel it how her skin touches mine.
Her arms are slung around my chest. With one hand she's also holding the other thermal blanket which I have round my body.

We keep walking like this for hours.
I've lost track of time. The satellite phone went into the lake, along with the car. I couldn't even call for help, in case we don't make it. But that doesn't matter: there is nobody who we could call to help us. It is still dark and somehow that's good and bad at the same time. I don't have anything else but the north star to navigate. I don't care to take out my compass. I would need a hand to hold it and I have no free hand. Audrey needs all her powers to hold on to me. I can't give her the compass. The north star is enough for now. I keep it on our right hand side, walking west.

I am beyond tired. Every step hurts. My arms hurt because of holding her legs. My back hurts because of carrying her weight. My legs feel like they're burning. Each single muscle is telling me to stop but I swear to god I won't listen. Not now. These are probably the most important hours of my life. My life had no sense anymore when I was in that Russian prison. I only lived through the days hoping to pay for my sins.

I am paying for my sins right now. Everything hurts but there is a reason behind it. I'm saving her life with every other step that I make. It's been a while since I last saved someone's life. Too long ago. I guess Chloe was the last one, in London... and Heller.

Don't think too much. Keep talking to her.
I tell her about meeting Heller. I tell her that I saw him a few weeks ago. That the Secret Service is always around him, protecting him. I tell her that he's no longer in office but that he's doing well.

I don't know how much of all that she understands.
But after a while, she gets closer. She has always held on to me, the whole way long, but now I feel that she's not only holding on any more. She's pressing her body against mine, as if she wanted to warm herself...
I slightly turn my head to look at her face, next to mine. Her eyes are closed, her head rests on my shoulder, her cheek touching my neck.

I can't let her sleep, even though she looks tired. I have to wake her up again, have to keep talking to her.

We have only one or two more hours until the morning twilight comes.

I don't know if we have already crossed the border by now. Who knows. Who cares. I'll carry on, as long as it takes. I just have to turn my head a little to look at my reason for everything.

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