Upon entering I.M.P. headquarters, Destiny Destroyer noticed Moxxie, Millie, and Loona doing an exercise. Loona was laying on a couch holding up a picture of a happy family (a mom, a dad, a daughter, and a son). Moxxie on the other hand was aiming a crossbow at the photo shaking his fingers with his wife watching.
"Moxxie, stop shaking." Millie said. "You're gonna shoot our only hellhound."
"Wow. I feel so loved here." Loona said drowsily.
"What's happening here?" Destiny asked.
"Oh. Hey, Des!" Millie greeted. "Blitzo's meeting up with a new client."
"Another job, huh? That sounds promising." Destiny said with a devious smile. "But enough about that? What the eff is your husband doing?"
"We're just practicing to harden his resolve." Millie said. "Moxxie's trying to work up the nerve to shoot that photo like it's a real family."
"Is that really an issue?" Destiny asked. "We are an assassination company after all."
"But it's a family." Moxxie said. "Under what circumstances will we need to kill a human family?"
"If that's what the client wants." Millie said.
"Yeah, shrimp." Destiny said. "Since when do we have standards? We're demons, for Hell's sake."
"Maybe like a shitty dad or a mob family. That's understandable." Moxxie mimicked an Italian accent. "But to eradicate a sweet, innocent, seemingly-in-this case upper-middle class family?"
"Hey! You don't know they're innocent." Loona said. "This boy probably likes setting dogs on fire. This girl probably gets off on bullying Australian girls online. And their dad… Their dad definitely watches."
"Exactly." Millie agreed. "Humans are full of secret nasties. It's why so many of them end up here. Guilty and innocent aren't our business, Mox. Killing who we're paid to is our business. Shoot the target." She kissed him on the cheek and stepped back to give him more room.
"I just think it's a tad excessive," Moxxie said, "And we could be a tad more selective, is all."
"How can somebody as naïve as you possibly exist here in Hell?" Destiny asked. "For someone named Moxxie, you could show at least a little spine."
Suddenly, the door to the main office was kicked open by Blitzo with a blue teacher demon next to him. "GUYS, I WANT YOU TO MEET…" Moxxie was so startled by the sudden door opening, he fired the arrow by accident letting it bounce all over the room and shatter an electric eel tank. It was about to hit the teacher demon too, but Blitzo caught it. "…Our newest client." The electric eels shot out lightning which caused a fire all over the room. "DAMMIT, MOXXIE, I JUST BOUGHT THOSE EELS!"
After calling the fire department, Blitzo lead himself, his employees, and their client out of the building.
"So you accepted a job for us?" Destiny asked.
"Sure did, tits." Blitzo answered. "Mayberry there killed herself after shooting her husband and a ho he cheated on her with. But her ex's mistress survived and profited off her near-death experience buying a huge piece of private land and being called a hero by everyone."
"So it's a chica, huh?" Destiny asked with a wicked smile. "Think I can have a shot at her?"
"As fun as it sounds to watch, we'll have to see when we get there." Blitzo said as he sent Mayberry off in a taxy. "Bye, client! And don't worry! We'll kill that skank for you in less than 24 hours or your first kill is free!"
"When did we start implementing that deal?" Moxxie asked.
"When you set fire to our office in front of A CLIENT, YOU WALKING DIPSHIT!" Blitzo replied angrily. "Now, someone, please tell me that book survived!"
"You mean our one ticket to the human realm?" Loona asked holding up the Goetia family's grimoire. "Yeah. Have it right here."
"And that's why you're my favorite, Loony." Blitzo said in a cutesy voice before holding up a dog biscuit. "You get a tweat now."
"Ew. Stop." Loona said. She became more disgusted after Blitzo ate the biscuit himself. "Oh, my god! You're so disgusting!"
"Oh, stop. I get enough of that from my therapist." Blitzo said while his hellhound daughter opened the portal. "Now, let's go lick some ass!"
"The expression is 'kick some ass', Blitzo." Millie corrected.
"Mine's better." Blitzo said.
"We've got a bitch to hunt." Destiny said before jumping into the portal with the others.
Once they arrived in the private property of their target, Martha, and her family, Millie hid herself at the fence surrounding the yard to cover escape routes. Meanwhile, Blitzo, Moxxie, and Destiny sneaked their way to a bush underneath a cabin window. Blitzo peeked inside to see Martha serving up food for her husband, son, and daughter.
"Shit. Looks like family night." Blitzo said. "Sorry, Des, but you're gonna have to wait until next job to catfight."
"What the eff?" Destiny asked.
"Look. If you take your time fighting this skank, her family's going to call the police." Blitzo said. "Then, those pigs will come here and apprehend you before you decide to finish. It's less risky if we just give her a quick death. So what do you say, Mox?"
"Me?" Moxxie asked.
"Yep. This one should be easy. It's just a happy mother who just got out of the hospital." Blitzo said. Of course, noticing that made Moxxie hesitate which gave Blitzo the excuse to aim his gun. "You snooze, you lose, Mox."
"Wait. I think we need to…" Moxxie started to say, but Blitzo was already about to pull the trigger. Moxxie then instinctively leaped forward to stop his boss making him miss. Instead of Martha, the bullet hit the framed picture behind her surprising her and her family.
"Moxxie, you pendejo!" Destiny yelled.
Moxxie broke down into tears. "I'm sorry. They just looked so innocent. I panicked."
"Oh, who the eff is innocent?" Blitzo asked. "From the moment you're born, you're already a parasite leeching off your mother's tits!" BAM! A loud bullet crashed through the wall hitting Blitzo in the arm. "AH! A NEW HOLE! SCATTER!"
On command, everyone hid themselves while Blitzo ran off into the forest. Destiny didn't want to hide, but she knew that she stood no chance against someone with a gun. Still, when she noticed how Martha and her husband, Ralphie, ran out with bloodthirsty smiles on their faces, her suspicions were raised.
"Huh. They seem awfully excited given they almost got his by a gunshot. What's going on?" Destiny glanced through a window and saw their two children dragging an unconscious Moxxie upstairs. "Dammit, Moxxie."
Destiny found the nearest drain pipe and climbed up on it. She made it to the top floor where she peeked into the dark room. She could still see Moxxie tied to a chair with the children giving super-evil smiles. Destiny was nervous, but then became startled seeing the decore. Chairs, tables, even wall decorations. They were all made out of human skin.
"Holy crap, this family's going Texas Chainsaw Massacre." Destiny commented. "Moxxie, you're a crybaby, but even you don't deserve this."
In an instant, Destiny thrusted herself through the window and jumped the two children. Moxxie was surprised to see what she was doing to the two kids that held him prisoner. Long story short, it was instant, but it looked super painful.
"Des!" Moxxie yelled out as the luchadora untied his ropes. "That was kinda unnecessary."
"Don't be estupido, Moxxie. This family's clearly psychotic. They're like living demons. Trust me, what I did to those bastards was a mercy."
"I… suppose you're right." Moxxie agreed. "Still, I kinda wish they were given a better future." Out the window, both he and Destiny saw a fiery light show illuminating from deep in the forest. "Millie!"
"She and Blitzo must have been caught." Destiny said. "Now, Moxxie, I need you to do something and I don't want to hear your whining."
"…I only promise to try." Moxxie said.
Both Blitzo and Millie have been cuffed to a large stake behind them with a pile of sticks at their feet. Martha presented herself with an evil smile on her face while holding a torch while Ralphie watched from the side.
"Satan," Martha declared, "We return these filthy creatures back to the pits of Hell! May the root of evil remained honored as we continue thy work!" Martha tossed the torch into the stick pile. Within a matter of seconds, the entire stake was covered with fire along with the two imps that were tied there. However, they didn't seem fazed.
"Yeah, that's not going to work." Blitzo said. "Fire doesn't really hurt us, but I can fake it if that'll get your dick hard."
"Oh, well…" Martha said feeling dumb. She then smiled again holding up her gun. "Why don't I just shoot you in your smartass mouth?"
"That would be more effective." Blitzo answered.
"Blitzo!" Millie cried out.
Martha laughed while aiming her gun. Blitzo and Millie closed their eyes awaiting their fates.
BAM!
That was the sound heard, but it didn't come from Martha's gun. It came from Moxxie's. His gun fired a strong shot that went straight through Ralphie's chest. Everyone turned to see the husband keel over dead and Moxxie blow into the gun nozzle.
"What the…" Martha began to ask. But before she could finish, Destiny Destroyer fell from above swiping her gun from her hand. She crushed it into pieces while Moxxie freed his wife and boss.
"Moxxie!" Millie cheered.
"You're not getting your paycheck for this." Blitzo said.
"What's going on?" Martha asked.
"I'll tell you what's going on." Destiny said. "I just pummeled your two devil kids to death and I told the little bitch imp…"
"Hey!" Moxxie yelled out.
"…To murder your husband. You've got nothing left now. The only way you're going to get out of this alive is if you go through me. So…" Destiny readied herself for a fight she was awaiting. "Come at me, bitch."
Martha snarled before leaping forward to Destiny. The two of them wrestled on the ground fighting for control while the other imps stood and watched.
"Whoo! Go, Des!" Blitzo cheered.
"Teach that slut a lesson!" Millie cheered as well.
"I hope you win!" Moxxie said.
Destiny brought Martha on her back and gripped tightly at her hair. She rained down a series of punches to Martha's face, but the cannibal managed to escape by reaching her legs backwards and around Destiny's head. She swung her legs back and tossed her flat to the ground. Martha didn't let go and started to squeeze at Destiny's throat.
"Nice try, devil!" Martha shouted. "But I've had a lot of 'practice' with these legs!"
"Yeah, being a whore!" Destiny gritted her teeth. She grabbed onto Martha's legs and pried them off of her neck.
Destiny climbed back on Martha's body and gripped her hair again. Only instead of punching, she kept pulling and pulling until the few strands of hair that she had were ripped out. Destiny taunted Martha by blowing the strands out of her hand.
"You filthy…" Martha growled swinging her nails grazing them across Destiny's face. The luchadora yelled and cursed in Spanish. Martha rolled Destiny off and climbed on top of her back. She dug her nails right into Destiny's face pulling her head back. "Say my name, bitch!"
Destiny gritted her teeth until she wrapped her hands around Martha's wrists. She dug her claws into them making the cannibal let go. Both women returned to their feet, but Destiny brought Martha back down by charging in with a clothesline sending her on her stomach. Once she was down, Destiny grabbed Martha's arms and pulled them backward. At the same time, she planted her foot on her back to apply greater pressure to the hold. "How about you say my name, bitch?" Destiny was then caught off guard when Martha began to power out of her hold. The luchadora demon tried to keep Martha in place, but the cannibal burst out, turned around, and wrapped her arms around Destiny in a bearhug that made the demoness grit her teeth. Martha gave an evil laugh to Destiny's face as she applied more pressure.
Eventually, an idea came to Destiny's mind. She shot her mouth forward and sang her fangs right into Martha's nose. The hick screamed in agony as she let go. Though, it was too late. Martha's nose was already loose and pouring out blood. Destiny gripped her claws into Martha's hair and dragged her over to the burning pyre. She then locked in a sleeper hold tightening around her neck. She dropped backwards landing the both of them into the fire. While Destiny didn't burn, Martha's human body felt the flames burning her. Martha screamed trying to escape, but Destiny wrapped her legs around her body letting her burn for the next few minutes. After the struggle started to end, Destiny thrusted her arms to the side and snapped the target's neck.
Destiny released Martha and left her body in the fire letting it burn. She returned to the imps who were clearly happy.
"That was great!" Millie cheered. "I thought for sure you were a goner for a minute there, but you pulled off an awesome win!"
"Gracias, Millie."
Moxxie turned to his boss. "I'm very sorry, sir. I let my judgement get in the way of the mission. It won't happen again. I promise."
"Apology accepted." Blitzo said hugging his employee. "But if you ever mess up again, I will eff you and your wife. Okay, let's get going." He pulled out his phone to call Loona for a portal home.
After returning home and informing Mayberry of the job's completion, the company invited her to a celebratory party at their office.
"Well, here's to another mission accomplished." Blitzo said. "And Moxxie finally learned not to eff up."
"And killing people isn't that big a deal if they try to kill you back." Millie added.
"That's messed up," Mayberry said, "But I paid for it." She laughed along with everyone else.
"Well, actually, I must thank Moxxie for effing up." Destiny said. "I mean, sure, it's not okay for a hellish killer to have standards, but in this case, you being a pollo worked out for me."
"Huh?" Moxxie asked
"Well, if you hadn't screwed up the shot, the bitch would've been dead then and there and I wouldn't have had that satisfying catfight I just had. I haven't had that much fun since my match against La Chupacabra. So as a show of my thanks, here." She passed around a handful of rectangular papers to everyone in the room.
"What are these?" Blitzo asked.
"Tickets to my next match against Dynasora." Destiny said. "Front row seats and special privileges. You guys wanna come? I even got you one too, Mayberry, for giving us that crazy job."
Mayberry smiled at her ticket. "Damn. A shot at revenge and a free show? Who could pass that up?"
"Thanks, Des." Millie said.
"De nada."
Author's Note: This has been a very fun fight to write about between Destiny and Martha. I can't wait til we get to the next chapter, where IMP goes to Loo-Loo Land. Does anyone have any ideas which lady Destiny Destroyer should throw down with? It can be an OC or a canon character.
Any and all comments are welcome.