Путешествия

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Our journey went well, so far. I learned one thing in my life: always add 'so far'. It's shocking and it's frustrating how fast things can change sometimes.

Audrey sat next to me as we drove through the country, for two days. She wore a niqab, which made it hard to tell how she was. But something has changed, I don't know what. Ever since she overheard the phone call.

Either it is the prospect of going to Belgrade with me.

Or it is Mark.

We were getting along so great in the past week… she almost opened up. But now, she has retreated into her world again, I fear.

As we drove, hours and hours, she just sat there, thinking.

And I sat there, peeking at her from time to time, trying to figure out what it was. I should have cared about other things, about the road, about police, about whether somebody was following us, about my plans… But I just couldn't get her out of my head. If I had paid more attention to the road map on the dashboard, I probably wouldn't have had to go back these two times. These damn Cyrillic letters are hard to keep apart sometimes, especially when you're following the smaller roads.

I wanted to talk to her, but I didn't know what to say.

We drove in silence.

Maybe she just looked out the window and admired the beautiful landscape. It would be worth it. Lakes, endless fields with no people, desert and oasis. Parts of this country really look like heaven on earth. Even I couldn't help but notice.

We stopped once, after 20 hours on the road, again at a convent, in a city called Aral. I had told Audrey to move to the backseats and get some rest, but didn't want to. She's damn stubborn, sometimes.

The next day we reached Kuryk, at the Caspian Sea, after ten more hours in the car. I'll head home with the same people who already brought me here. They own a few yachts and smuggle all kinds of stuff between the countries bordering the Caspian Sea. 11.000 US dollars for a safe passage from Kazakhstan to Azerbaijan. That's a lot of money, but well spent.

Thank god, Audrey didn't freak out when she saw the boat and the two men who are going with us. She made no sound and showed no reaction, as I led her from the parking lot over to the marina. I can't be nice to her. These guys would draw the wrong conclusions. Actually she made it quite easy for me, with her distant behavior. As I held out my hand to help her climb down into cabin below deck, she didn't even take it.

The ship is rocking heavily, though it's fifty feet long. It's not a small boat, it's a medium sized yacht. Mohammed told me that we had to expect heavy sea. A cold front, thunderstorms, heavy rain. He offered that we could postpone the trip, he'd be back in four days and then he could take us along. I declined and decided to go immediately, no matter how uncomfortable the journey will be. Audrey and I can't stay in Kuryk for another four days. It was time to leave Kazakhstan and I was happy to take the first chance to leave.

Lying here I almost regret it a little. I hate heavy seas. I better get some sleep. The last two days were strenuous, for Audrey and me.

I check on her, one more time, in the dim light of the emergency exit lamp that is always on, next to the door. Our cabin is in the bow of the ship. There's one bed at each side of the middle aisle and even a small bathroom, in the front section of the ship. After all, we'll be here for the next 24 hours, that approximately how long it will take to cross the 300 miles to Azerbaijan.

She looks peaceful, lying there, still wearing the black gown, cuddled into the blanket. Her blonde hair spreads all over the pillow. The heavy seas don't seem to be a problem for her.

There's nothing to worry about, not now. Audrey is fine. Mohammed knows his job, Belchek and I have worked with him quite a few times. He can be trusted.
As I pull the blanket over my body I realize how tired I am, after the past few days. Driving was not the problem. The constant tension was, looking out for the police, for the Russians, the Chinese, the CIA, anyone.

Audrey didn't realize that I had two guns ready, one at my ankle, one beneath the seat. Something as trivial as a police patrol could have killed us, if they had asked the wrong questions. I was ready to shoot anything and anyone, who'd be in our way.

Stop thinking.

Just for this second.

I have to stop thinking, otherwise I'll never get some rest.

I close my eyes.

I can hear the raindrops how they drum against the hull of the ship. From time to time, a large wave washes over the bow. The engine purrs at a constant, low pace. Not as high-pitched as an airplane. Not as varying as a car. It's a warm, comfy noise, assuring me that we're on the way.

At one point in time, I finally fall asleep.

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Sorry, that's a shorter one - but I need it as an interlude for what's up next...