Author's Note: Hey, everyone. I'm back from break. Though, it won't last though. Recent development in my household is making me go through a few changes. It's nothing major, but I am going to need another break, which I will after next weekend and I upload another batch of updates. I will use that time to adjust and get used to said changes. I hope you understand.
So this was a chapter that everyone has been looking forward to for a very long time. I'm glad I made it here. Now, before I continue this fanfic, I need your help with something. I'm trying to decide whether or not to upload a chapter which introduces Bobby Daniels. I like the guy, but I wasn't the biggest fan of his episode and I'm not sure how to do it. If anyone has any suggestions, I'm all ears.
The song featured here is a parody of "We Don't Talk About Bruno" from Encanto. I got a lot of requests for "Best Not Mess With Mama" from the Lion Guard, but I ultimately chose not to use it. Hopefully this will suffice.
Thank you for your patience. Enjoy the chapter. Any and all comments are welcome.
It was a happy day for Scratch when Nin decided to visit her family. He floated into the kitchen where she was along with Molly, Daryl, and Loki. The McGee kids were preparing a lot of food while the trickster slouched back and watched.
"Oh, Nin, I love it when you visit." Scratch said affectionally embracing the old woman.
"Since Sharon and Peter are having fun this weekend, we can too." Nin said.
"I bet Mom and Dad are having a great time." Molly said. "Just the two of them camping in the woods."
"With their luck, I doubt it." Loki said. "I bet they're being attacked by a wild bear right now."
"Why must you be so pessimistic?" Molly asked. "Just get into the spirit of the holiday."
"What holiday?" Loki asked.
"Whoa! I bet it has to do with all this breakfast in buffet form." Scratch said looking at the counter, which was covered with plates full of different varieties of food. "Smorgasbord for one!"
"Uh, uh, uh." Nin stopped Scratch before he could start eating. "That's for Sart Duan Sib."
"Is that Thai for 'in my mouth'?" Scratch asked.
"It's a Thai festival where we honor our ancestors and other hungry spirits with extra super yummy food offerings." Molly explained.
Scratch's eyes sparkled at the sound of that. "A holiday about honoring ghosts and feeding me?"
"You have to wait." Nin said. "The feast is tonight. And to prepare, I need my best kitchen helpers." She gave her grandchildren aprons.
"Best? You're obviously talking about me." Daryl said putting his apron on with his sister.. "Though, I understand you can't say that due to… familial obligations."
Molly gasped angrily. "If this is about that one time I used salt in the sticky rice, I was five!"
Molly and Daryl exchanged a fierce and competitive look at each other. Each of them looked like they prepared for battle until Nin got between them.
"Do sibling rivalry when you're off the clock. There's work to be done."
"Aw, man. And just when it was about to get good." Loki snickered.
"Grandma's right, guys." Scratch said. "You're forgetting the spirit of the holiday, which is serving tons of delicious food to me, me, and only me!"
"Oh, no, Scratch." Nin said. "This holiday is about giving. You must invite your ghost friends. They're hungry too."
"No can do, Grandma." Scratch said. "You see, I have no friends."
"What about Geoff?" Loki asked.
"Hmm… Geoff… I can't quite place the name."
"Oh, you know who he's talking about." Molly said. "G-E-O…"
"Okay! Jeez. He's got you doing the spelling too, huh? Fine. I'll invite Geoff. Will that make you all happy?"
"Very." Nin answered.
"Great." Geoff said before opening a portal and leaving the kitchen.
"Well, if that's all the fun going on right now," Loki said, "I think I'll wait outside for the feast."
"Feast?" Nin asked. "Loki, this food isn't for you. It's for the dead."
"Maybe you've forgotten, but I already died. I have as much right to eat as any other deceased."
"Except, you're not dead anymore, right?" Molly asked. "You're not even a ghost."
"She's right, Loki." Nin said. "This holidays only honors ghosts. You'll have to stay and prepare meals with Molly and Daryl." She pulled out a third apron and tossed it to Loki's arms.
"What? But… I…" Loki sighed giving up. "Stupid ghost-only feast."
"Now, pinch the dumplings into tiny pouches like this." Nin instructed later on that evening. She picked up an unwrapped dumpling and carefully twisted its top.
"Easy." Daryl said.
"Got it." Molly said.
"Of course." Loki said.
"Glad you're more getting used to the idea of cooking." Nin said placing a hand on Loki's shoulder… only for it to go through. "What?"
"Wait a minute." Molly said. She waved her hand at Loki's stomach only for it to go through in a green light. The illusion vanished into thin air. The McGees turned catching Loki trying to sneak out back. "Nice try, Loki."
"Hey, do I look like a chef to you?" Loki asked. "There's no way I'm going to wrap dumplings into tiny pouches."
Nin sighed. "Fine. We'll meet in the middle then. If you won't cook, you can at least do your part and serve the prepared food to the ghosts. How's that?"
"…I suppose I can work with that." Loki said. "At least it's just two ghosts."
With every new dish prepared, Loki took them out back to a large table set up there. Scratch sat alone at the end of that table.
"So how'd it go with Geoff?" Loki asked.
"Well, I invited him, but I guess he must be stuck in traffic." Scratch said. "I should start with out him. I know he'd wanted it that way."
"No." Nin stopped him again. "it is rude to eat before your guests. We wait."
"All right," Scratch said reluctantly, "But you know, if I starve to death, that's on you."
"You're already dead." Loki said.
Suddenly, in a puff of smoke, Geoff appeared between Loki and Scratch. "Hey, guys!"
"Yes! Geoff! Perfect timing for once!" Scratch cheered happily taking a random plate and forcing it into Geoff's mouth. "There you go. Down the hatch. That's the stuff. Okay. The guest has eaten. That box is checked. My turn!"
Loki rolled his eyes at Geoff until he noticed some things appearing around the air. Scratch noticed too and watched with him as many portals opened up everywhere. Many ghosts flew in through the portals smiling at the table full of food before them.
"Odin's beard, that's a lot of ghosts." Loki said before noticing a certain specter floating nearby. "Wait. Is that you, Ezekiel Bigbottom?"
The false hero of Brighton grimaced at that name before taking a breath and calming himself. "For the hundredth time, Loki, it's 'Tugbottom'. But hey, capitol party. Thanks, Scritch, for the invite."
"You invited all these people?" Loki asked Scratch. "I thought you'd only want to invite Geoff."
"I did!" Scratch yelled angrily turning to Geoff. "Geoff, I thought we agreed you wouldn't tell nobody."
"And I didn't tell nobody," Geoff said, "Which, as a double negative, cancels itself. So I invited everybody."
"But that's not what I…" Scratch started to say before gasping at all the ghosts hastily eating all the food prepared for them.
"Well, on one hand, I'm happy that you brought this upon yourself." Loki said. "But on the other hand, I'm really angry because instead of serving two hungry ghost, I'm forced to serve a dozen."
"Oh, cheer up, bucko." Stan Lee said interjecting into the conversation. "You've got some big celebrities here. There's Abraham Lincoln, Julius Ceasar, Cleopatra, Amelia Earhart, Sally Tugbottom…"
"Okay, I get it." Loki said handing a plate of dumplings. "Help yourself, Stan Lee." He then left the backyard while Scratch struggled and failed to secure any food he had his eye on. "That settles it. A servant's work is no place for a royal."
Once he entered the kitchen, he sighed and turned to the cooks. "Molly, Daryl, we got enough people to fill a restaurant. So you better start cooking like professional chefs."
"We're on it, Loki!" Molly said carefully wrapping dumpling pouches. "Only problem is Daryl keeps sabotaging me!"
"You're just being a sore loser." Daryl said speeding up his wrapping.
Loki proceeded to head to Molly and carefully hand her a bottle of glue. "Here. Slip this into his dumpling bowl."
"You're helping me?" Molly asked. "Why?"
"Nothing sentimental." Loki said. "I just haven't gotten Daryl back for that wet willy he gave me back when your aunt and uncle visited."
"Oh. Well, I'll take it." Molly said eager to sabotage her brother back.
The night has been nothing but frustration for everyone except the visiting ghosts. Molly and Daryl continued to mess with each other's work, and when they put actual focus to their own, Nin shouted at them for their "pathetic cooking". Meanwhile, Loki was stuck rushing in and out of the kitchen with new orders and refills and Scratch kept failing to get any food for himself before another ghost took it and ate it.
When the orders stopped, Loki finally stopped to take a breath. He headed over to where Scratch was hiding behind a tree and caught him with a plate of little food.
"NO! THIS IS MINE! GO AWAY!" Scratch shouted before realizing it was the trickster hovering over him. "Oh. Never mind. It's you."
"Obviously." Loki said sitting down next to him. "So you're hiding behind a tree, huh?"
"How else am I going to eat all this stuff without those unwanted visitors?" Scratch asked. "Well, bottoms up!"
Scratch opened his mouth to eat, but all of a sudden, a new portal opened up above him and Loki.
"Oh, no! What now?" Loki asked feeling himself getting sucked upward along with Scratch.
When Scratch and Loki landed back into the Ghost World, they found themselves before the Ghost Council and Death herself. Scratch hastily hid his plate behind his back.
"Scratch, Loki, I'm sure you know why you are here." Alister said.
"A certain inconsistency in your Scare Report." Lucretia said pulling out Scratch's dossier.
"Or as you have written, your 'Scar Report'." Grimbella laughed pointing at the spelling error on the ghostly folder cover.
"You turned in your report without my proofreading it?" Loki asked Scratch.
"I kinda rushed it after hearing Nin was coming." Scratch said.
"This is rather amusing, you two." Death chuckled. "But we do have to correct you on this."
"Consider it corrected, ma'am." Scratch said trying to sneak back to the open portal behind him and Loki. "Okay, now, I'm not gonna waste any more of your precious time. I'm sure you got a lot of souls to cross over. So I'm just gonna… See ya. Thank you."
Death raised an eyebrow before closing her fingers. The portal vanished before Scratch could pass through it.
"Just a moment." Death said. "Are you trying to hide something from me?"
"What? No." Scratch chuckled nervously. "It's just a little snack."
"Yeah. You know Scratch. Always eating garbage." Loki said equally as nervous. "We can probably save the environment by making him eat all the pollution in the world."
"That is valid." Death said snapping her fingers. Suddenly, Scratch's dish floated out of his hands and flew up for everyone to see. "However, this appears to be different. It's much fresher than what we're used to see."
"She's right." Alister said sniffing the food along with his fellow ghosts in the council. "This doesn't appear to be the usual refuse you shove down your gullet."
"Uh, okay. Look." Scratch mustered up an excuse. "Loki and I got the humans so scared that they threw a big feast. A Sart Duan Sib."
"Sart Duan Sib, you say." Death said growing a smile. "It is around that time, isn't it?" She stood up from her seat. "What do you say, my loyal councilors?"
"Very well. We shall deign to attend." Lucretia said.
"Oh…" Scratch said growing a worried look with Loki. "See, that wasn't an invitation. You don't have to…" He shut up once Death glared at him. "You know what. Never mind."
"Excellent." Death said before opening her portal.
"Oh, this can't be good." Loki shivered under his breath.
The ghosts at the party continued to mingle and chatter until a sudden wind blew out the candlelight. Everyone stopped talking once the winds got stronger and a storm flashed lightning and boomed thunder. They watched as a large ghost portal opened up and Death emerged followed by the Ghost Council, Scratch, and Loki.
"It's… It's Lady Death." Geoff said fearfully.
"I didn't know she was invited." Stan Lee said.
"Uh, I think I left my wood stove on." Ezekiel Tugbottom said.
He and every other ghost in the party opened random portals, but before they could go through, Death raised her hand and snapped her fingers. Just then, every portal that was just opened had suddenly closed. No ghost was allowed to leave.
"Now, now." Death said. "Don't leave on my account. It's a festival. Let's dine."
"Uh… Okay." Geoff said nervously returning to his seat like the others. Death and the council took their seats as well with Death at the head of the table.
"Humans!" Alister called out clapping his hands. "We demand our offerings now!"
"You… heard him, humans." Loki said trying to keep his composure.
Hearing the calls of every visiting ghost, Molly headed out with a towel hanging on her arm like a real waiter. "You called? What can I do for you, buddies?"
Hearing that last word made everyone's eyes pop. The ghosts turned their attention at the council who looked suspiciously at Scratch and Loki.
"I'm sorry, I thought you claimed these humans were afraid of you." Alister said. "Are you indeed this human's… 'buddies'?"
Loki looked over at Death and caught her subtly gritting her teeth and sinking her sharp, bony fingers into the wood of the table scraping at it harshly. He also caught a red glow emitting softly through her eyes. He has never been more scared than he was at that very moment.
"Oh, yeah. They're my best friends." Molly said making Loki, Scratch, and the other ghosts panic. Everyone rushed out of their seats to stop her from talking.
"No! No, we're not!" Scratch said desperately.
"That's merely… a coping mechanism." Loki lied while all the other ghosts lead Molly into the house. "This girl's so young and playful, she does our bidding, so she calls us 'biddies'. Children, am I right?"
"I…" Molly started to say before all the ghosts pushed her into the house.
"Well, we'll just check on everyone's orders, including yours." Scratch said. "No need to go nuts. I promise you, Death. And if they're not ready, we'll just scare the humans into working faster. Don't worry."
Finally, everyone closed the door behind them. Loki looked back outside seeing Death finally calm down. She let out a soft breath, she stopped scraping the table, and the read of her eyes simmered. He let out a sigh of relief before turning to everyone else.
"It's okay, everyone. She bought it." Loki said. Everyone was just as relieved.
"Bought what?" Molly asked. "Who are those guys?"
"The Ghost Council." Scratch answered. "The biggest, baddest, most bureaucratic ghosts of all."
"And you see that tall woman with the hood and the skeleton-like appearance?" Loki asked pointing at the leader. "That's Death."
"Death?" Molly asked. "As in, she's named after the concept of death?"
"No. I don't mean it metaphorically or rhetorically or poetically or theoretically or any other fancy way. She's Death, straight up."
Molly gasped looking outside at the woman in question. "THAT'S Death?"
"Yes. And we gotta get her and the Ghost Council outta here before they figure out the truth about us." Scratch said.
"Aww. Does little Scratchy wanna keep up the grumpy Ghost World reputation?" Molly asked cutely.
"Molly, this is serious!" Scratch said intensely. "If they find out Loki and I are friends with a human, they're gonna take me away from you. Forever."
Molly gasped. "What do we do?"
"You're gonna have to serve them food." Loki said. "The faster they're fed, the sooner they will leave."
"You want food fast? I'm on it." Daryl said.
"No! I'm on it!" Molly argued.
"Odin's beard." Loki growled. "Just work together! Daryl, you're fast, so you start preparing the dumplings! Molly, you finish wrapping them into their pouches!"
"That's a good idea." Nin said. "That way, you two can do twice as much work."
Reluctantly, Daryl extended his hand which Molly accepted. "For the greater good."
"It's the only way." Molly said before going back to preparing the food. "I still can't believe that's Death out there though. She seems pretty polite."
"That's only because she's in a good mood." Loki said. "And trust me, you want her to stay in a good mood. But if you break any of her rules, you get the ultimate punishment. Why do you think the Flow of Failed Phantoms exists?"
"They're right, kiddo." Stan Lee said. "We don't have a problem with your friendship with these two boys, but Death is very strict and firm in her laws."
"Is she really that bad?" Molly asked.
"Molly, you have no idea." Sally Tugbottom said.
Sally Tugbottom:
You don't want to mess with Death
No, you don't
You don't want to mess with Death
See, picture a normal day
Ezekiel Tugbottom:
Picture a normal day
Sally:
You live your life like you would any other day
Ezekiel Tugbottom:
You think it's just another day
Sally:
But you're fated to die
When Death comes on by
Ezekiel:
Look out
Sally:
Will you just let me have a say
Ezekiel:
Sorry 'bout that, sis. Go on
Sally:
Mostly, she will sit and wait
Ezekiel:
She's very patient
Sally:
For you to meet a tragic fate
Ezekiel:
Probably by accident
Sally:
Either way, it's your death date
Ezekiel:
Savor every minute
While you're still in it
Sally and Ezekiel:
You don't want to mess with Death
No, you don't
You don't want to mess with Death
Stan Lee:
Hey. Living really long is really phenomenal
The odds of that are astronomical
But eventually, Death awaits and how
Everyone wishes for eternal life
But truthfully, we all run out of time
Just as much as Death will allow
Do you get it now
Geoff:
Ten foot frame
Rules with a bony fist
You bet she has her name
On her waiting list
When she crosses it out
You keep a look out
Everyone:
You don't want to mess with Death
No, you don't
You don't want to mess with Death
Caesar:
She was there when I was literally stabbed in the back
Cleopatra:
She was there when I was bitten by that asp
Amelia Earhart:
She was there when I flew and… Well, let's leave it at that
Everyone:
DEATH IS THE END, AND THAT IS A FACT
Loki:
Death was there when I blew myself up
But she was willing to give me another chance
Guess I caught her on a good day
To be given such a circumstance
Scratch:
I don't know when she was there for me
But I know that if we make her mad, it's in the flow we go
The Flow of Failed Phantoms
The Flow of Failed Phantoms
Loki:
So hey. Don't let Death know that we're friends
Scratch:
The Flow of Failed Phantoms
Molly:
Um, okay
That's a lot of pressure
But I won't mess with Death
Yeah. I won't say word about us to Death
Nin:
Everybody, it's the final round
Everyone:
TIME FOR DINNER
All the ghosts returned outside with plates full of food. Some for themselves while others were for the Ghost Council and Death. The five of them smiled and began dining on all that was served to them. During all that, the ghosts repeated all of their verses at the same time while Loki, Scratch, and the McGees stood by watching nervously.
As soon as they were all done, Death wiped her mouth with a napkin. "Excellent feast. Wouldn't you agree?" Her council agreed.
"You have risen in our esteem, Scratch." Lucretia said as she and the others opened a portal to leave.
"Unless you intend to 'scar' us with your poor spelling again." Grimbella laughed with the other councilors as they crossed through.
Death was the only one left, but she gave one last look at the McGee family who began to sweat. "Rest assured, McGee family, we will meet again." she said with a creepy smile growing on her face. "At least one more time." She disappeared through the portal just as the song was ready to end.
Everyone:
GOODBYE
YOU DON'T WANT TO MESS WITH DEATH
Molly:
MAYBE I SHOULDN'T MESS WITH DEATH
Everyone:
NOT ONCE SHOULD YOU MESS WITH DEATH
Molly:
ALL RIGHT! I'LL NEVER MESS WITH DEATH
Once they were sure that the Ghost Council was gone, every ghost dropped to the ground relieved at their departure.
"I don't know about you all, but I've had my fill of this feast." Ezekiel Tugbottom said opening his portal. "Anyone else for going home and calling it a night?"
All the ghosts agreed and opened their portals and disappeared. Geoff was the last to leave giving Scratch a wave goodbye before leaving with a much larger ghost by his side.
The family was left leaning on the empty table completely tired.
"So I guess we should all be more careful now that we're aware who's making the rules?" Loki asked.
"Understood." Daryl said.
"Well, that's over. I'm wiped." Molly said.
"Yeah, I'm wiped, and I haven't had a single bite all day." Scratch said before finding a plate covered up. "If I hadn't been selfish and shared the meal with Geoff, there would've been enough food for both of us. Now, everything's gonna be cold. Oh, well. Better than…" He removed the lid from the plate only to find it empty.
Seeing it, Scratch stammered and gasped before falling to the grassy ground. He cried loudly.
"THEY TOOK IT AAAAALL! NO! THIS IS THE WORST TRAGEDY THAT HAS EVER BEFALLEN A GHOST! AFTERLIFE IS SO UNFAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIR!"
"We could order a pizza." Nin suggested.
"Pineapple?" Scratch asked hopefully.