The Gods of Virginia

by jazzywazzy08

When an accident sends Bonnie Bennett back to 1864, and circumstance forces her into becoming a "kept" woman, she is less than excited to find that Damon Salvatore will be the one for whom she will play placée, but it is the price she must pay to live amongst the gens de couleur, a society that holds the only ancestor she has with the power to send her home. However, Bonnie begins

4. Part Four: Rain

Title: The Gods of Virginia

Rating: M

Genre: AU/AH, Time Travel/Romance

Pairing(s): Bonnie/Stefan, Bonnie/Damon, Elijah/Katherine, Tyler/Caroline, Rebekah/OC, Matt/Katherine, etc.

Summary: When an accident sends Bonnie Bennett back to 1864, and circumstance forces her into becoming a "kept" woman, she is less than excited to find that Damon Salvatore will be the one for whom she will play placée, but it is the price she must pay to live amongst the gens de couleur, a society that holds the only ancestor she has with the power to send her home. However, Bonnie begins to interest Stefan Salvatore as well and to make matters worse Mystic Falls isn't ready to witness open concubinage between a white man and a black woman especially when that woman is suspected of witchcraft.

Warnings: Time Travel, Non-Canon, Racism, Sexual Content, Violence, Original Character etc.

Part Four: Rain

"The world has a tendency to encourage you to be any and everything outside of what you are. They can put you so high up on a pedestal that you can't see the ground and then the next moment kick you down and stomp on you until you are so low that you stop feeling human. You must strive for perfection and if you reach it you must work to maintain it. There is no value in this, in being what others expect you to be, be it saint or sinner. The value is in finding someone who will accept everything that you are. That will embrace your flaws just as easily as they accept your perfections. There is a freedom in that, one that no one can ever really take away."

― From the journal of Stefan Salvatore circa April, 1864

Mystic Falls, Virginia, 1864

Bonnie Bennett sat on the couch in the parlor of the house she inhabited next to Emmanuelle Fontaine as they worked on sewing together quilts for the slaves that they had begun to help. Bonnie had never been the best at sewing but she managed to do a passable job. Emmanuelle on the other hand, her stiches couldn't be seen.

"So how are things with you and John?" Bonnie asked. She remembered it being mentioned in Emily's journal that John Gilbert had had some sort of involvement with Pearl Johnson. However, there was no Emily, no Katherine, no Pearl, and no Annabelle, at least not yet. Bonnie was surprised to discover that their presence predated them all.

Emmanuelle looked to be in deep thought, a small frown marring her features. "He is nice I suppose," she answered, "A good man. Not what I wanted for myself. He thinks that it is a sin that we lay together without being man and wife. He has to pray a lot, particularly when he finds himself desiring me."

Bonnie wasn't sure what to say to the description of John that she was given. She had only known what she had read about him and she was surprised that Emmanuelle had been so open with her.

"He also has an odd fascination," Emmanuelle continued, "Seems to have an interest in the possibility that there are things outside of the human realm. You know supernatural beings; vampires, witches, and the like."

Bonnie tensed slightly. While Aimee and Thomas seemed to believe that Emmanuelle didn't know what they were, Bonnie wasn't so sure. Emmanuelle seemed to be smarter and more observant than the others gave her credit for.

"I have been telling him that he reads far too many books," Emmanuelle sighed as she continued, "Where else would he get those ideas from?"

Bonnie was desperate for a change in subject, and so she ignored the question in favor of asking a question of her own. "You said that he wasn't what you wanted for yourself," Bonnie said, carefully, "What did you want?"

A shadow passed over her face and just as Emmanuelle opened her mouth to speak, she closed it again, no words coming out. "Not this," she said, after a moment.

Bonnie frowned, but decided that she wouldn't push. For Emmanuelle, this way of life was permanent. Bonnie at least, would eventually be able to go home.

"What about you?" Emmanuelle asked, "How are things with Mr. Salvatore? He seems far too charming for his own good, if you ask me."

Bonnie shrugged. "He's been surprisingly sweet," she answered, not sure of how else to put it. Describing Damon as sweet in any incarnation seemed to be a bit off but that was pretty much how he acted for the most part in regards to her. Both Stefan and Damon were sweet to her, caring and generous. It wasn't something that she expected from either of them, but it was something that she was extensively grateful for nonetheless.

"Sweet?" Emmanuelle asked, "That's it?" She raised a brow as Bonnie nodded. "The way folks around here talk I thought you would tell me you had taken up with both brothers. According to gossip if you are not with one Salvatore then you are with the other. People are starting to wonder..."

Bonnie rolled her eyes. "Let them wonder," she said, "I doubt very much that they're interested in the truth."

"And what exactly is the truth?" Emmanuelle asked, the needle in her hand stilling as she looked up at Bonnie.

Sighing, Bonnie's hands stilled as well. "Damon and I are friends," she explained, "The same as Stefan and I are friends."

Emmanuelle laughed shaking her head. "He hasn't touched you then," she stated, "I'm surprised. From the way he was looking at you at the ball…from the way they both were looking…. But I digress." She continued her sewing as she spoke. "These arrangements rarely breed what one would call friendships. But the Salvatore brothers are friends of Raoul and so it does not much surprise me that they would take the route that he did with Aimee. Raoul was Aimee's friend in the beginning too. He hates plaçage so he vowed not to touch her. But of course in caring for her he grew to love her. But not everyone can be with who they love. Not everyone has the means in which to run off and get married. Or the courage. Aimee and Raoul are rare breeds."

Bonnie observed that there was a hint of bitterness in Emmanuelle's tone. She opened her mouth to ask, but stopped as she heard footsteps heading toward the parlor. She looked toward the door in time to see Thomas La Belle enter.

"Look who it is," Thomas greeted, "My two favorite women."

Bonnie welcomed him just as Emmanuelle huffed when Thomas came to sit down next to her. "I thought I was your only favorite woman," she frowned, her tone half joking, "Here I was thinking myself something special. Clearly I was mistaken."

Thomas frowned in turn as he gave Emmanuelle a sideways glance. "You would be mistaken if you thought yourself anything but special, ma belle Emmanuelle."

Bonnie watched as the two shared a look, and it was not lost to her when Emmanuelle scooted slightly closer to Thomas. "What brings you here, Monsieur La Belle?" Bonnie asked, "Not that I mind seeing you, mon ami."

"Working on our French are we?" Thomas asked, turning to Bonnie and smiling.

Bonnie grinned as she returned to her sewing. It helped that she had taken some French in high school. However, now that she was around the others she was determined to master the language. Or at least learn enough so she could do more than sprinkle a few phrases into the conversation here and there. "Un peu," she answered, "De temps en temps."

"Très bon, ma chérie," Thomas nodded. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. "And to answer your question, I am here because I have gotten word from my sister, Lisette."

Bonnie knew he had been worried about Lisette. Thomas had told her that he had never been a part from his sister, that since they were children they had been virtually inseparable until Lisette had fallen in love. Her love for Thomas did not ebb but once Lisette had found herself in love, it overshadowed her need for her brother.

"How is she?" Emmanuelle asked, "I know that you have been worried."

Thomas smiled as he opened the letter. "Lisette has always been one to go on her own path," Thomas said, "So perhaps I should not have been worried after all. She and Coleman have made it far north. They plan to keep moving until they reach Canada. They have found refuge with some abolitionist based in Ohio. Lisette says that they have a magical touch when it comes to caring for runaways."

Bonnie didn't miss the emphasis on the word magical and figured that there were witches within the group of abolitionist that he was mentioning. "It's a good thing that they have found shelter."

Thomas nodded. "It would seem that running away is not too impossible a thing if one is determined," he commented.

Bonnie was about to respond but Emmanuelle spoke before she could. "Not everyone can so easily leave behind their duties and responsibilities," she said, "Not everyone can afford to risk everything."

"Perhaps," Thomas nodded," But not everyone is too afraid to at least try."

Emmanuelle stood abruptly, surprising Bonnie as she set her sewing aside. "I must be going," she said, plastering on a smile and clearing her throat, "I have to get back home before Monsieur Gilbert returns." She nodded her head to Bonnie. "Lovely to see you as always Bonnie," she said, before turning toward Thomas slightly, "I am happy to hear that Lisette is alright."

With those words, she left. Bonnie watched her go, tempted to call after her. However, as she was unsure what had upset her she didn't know what to say to remedy the situation,

Once Emmanuelle was out of sight, Bonnie turned to Thomas. "What was that about?" She asked.

Thomas shook his head as he refolded his letter. He frowned as he put it back into his pocket. "Once upon a time…I fancied myself in love with Mademoiselle Fontaine," Thomas revealed, "I asked her to marry me and she accepted. However, her mother, thought it prudent for us to wait until after she participated in the system in which she is now trapped. It happens that way sometimes. Plaçage first and marriage second. However, there are cases in which the plaçage arrangements could last until death. They are not always as impermanent as people not familiar with the system might believe. I did not wish to take that chance. The chance of not being able to have her at all. I wanted to run. But she was afraid. I asked her to choose between me and plaçage. She made her choice."

Bonnie blinked at him. She was a bit flabbergasted. While it had been clear to her that the two were friendly and fond of each other she never would have guessed that they were in love. It wasn't as if they made it as obvious as Raoul and Aimee. Then again, it wasn't as if they could afford to. Knowing what she was beginning to know about the world that they lived in, Bonnie knew that they would have likely had to be very careful. "You seem so okay with all of this," Bonnie said, "With the system. With Emmanuelle being a part of it."

Thomas shrugged, his easy smile returning. Still the look in his eyes was the look of someone who was broken. The look of someone that had been robbed of something important. "I have no choice but to accept it, to respect her decision and to live with it. My life cannot stop just because I have suffered loss and I cannot dwell on the things that I cannot change."

"Do you still love her?" Bonnie asked, seriously. Now that she knew what had upset Emmanuelle and had enough information to read the situation, she was sure that there was still some feelings there in between them.

Thomas nodded. "She was the first person I ever loved," he said, "So I suppose a part of me always will love her." He cleared his throat and looked away from Bonnie for a moment. "Have you ever been in love, cherie?" Thomas asked, when finally, he turned back toward her.

Bonnie nodded. "I was once," she said, "It didn't end well but I don't regret it. Jeremy...that's his name, he will always be special to me. As far as first loves go, it could have been worse. I learned from it at least. What I want. What I don't want. What I'll accept. What I won't accept." Bonnie frowned as she thought about the loneliness that had been plaguing her before she left. The need to be desired, wanted for who she was and nothing more or less. She hadn't found it in this time either, and she was beginning to think she never would.

"People like us are not meant for only one love, cher," Thomas said, "We have too much to give for it to be only meant for one person. We will love again, you and me. One day we will love so deeply that we will glow with it."

Bonnie laughed at the sentiment, shaking her head. "Do you really believe that?" she asked. She wasn't sure if he was simply trying to make her feel better or trying to make himself feel better.

"Of course I do," Thomas nodded, his tone holding an air of finality, "Everyone of French descent does. L'amour et aimer à nouveau. Love and love again. That is the way of life, cher. Even if sometimes it hurts in between."

"L'amour et aimer à nouveau," Bonnie repeated, testing the phrase out on her tongue.

"Très bien, fait," Thomas smiled, applauding lightly, "By the time you leave here you will speak fluently. Parfait."

:::

Mystic Falls, Virginia 2011

Raoul Mercier walked into the room that Bonnie's mother had directed him to. They would be staying in their descendant's home now, temporarily, as Abby felt more comfortable with the whole situation having them close.

There had been very little fanfare in meeting Abby Bennett-Wilson. There was none of the immediate closeness or protectiveness with the woman that Raoul had felt almost upon meeting Bonnie. He supposed that it had to do with the fact that he resented the woman for abandoning Bonnie the way that she had. Even if the woman's actions were a part of what had brought Bonnie to them, it was hard for him to forgive her for it.

He had left the Salvatore brothers to brood and he hoped that they would at the very least attempt to communicate with one another. It wouldn't make sense for them to wait until Bonnie returned to air things out, to say the things that should have been out in the open a long time ago. Their issues were more than what surrounded their love for Bonnie. More than women. They had issues as men, as brothers, that were there before Bonnie had ever shown up.

It would be easier on Bonnie when she came back, if they knew where it was that they stood with one another and knew exactly what they wanted from her and how they wanted to approach her. There was too much uncertainty before. Too much left unsaid, and too much said at the last minute when there was barely enough time to process things.

He knew that it wasn't his place to get involved, but it was hard to be a passive bystander where Bonnie was concerned. She was his kin. And though in truth they were generations apart, she would always be more like a little sister to Raoul than anything else and he knew that Aimee felt much the same way.

Raoul smiled as he watched his wife walk out of the bathroom. He shut the door to the bedroom behind him, and made sure that the lock was in place. "I am looking for my wife," he teased, "Could you perhaps tell me where I could find her?"

Aimee grinned as her eyes landed on him. It was not just any grin, it was his grin. One that she reserved for him and no one else. "I don't know if I can," she replied, slyly, "Perhaps you could describe her to me. What is she like, your wife?"

Raoul walked up to her and placed his hands at her waist. "Well," he whispered, "She is beautiful, headstrong, extremely powerful, and she is for all intents and purposes the luckiest woman in the world because she happens to be married to me."

Aimee laughed as she ran her hands down the front of his shirt. "She must just love how modest you are as well," she said.

"It's one of my many winning qualities," he responded, "So yes, of course she loves my modesty, naturally."

Aimee rolled her eyes. Still she was amused by his antics. He was the reason that she did not take herself or the world around her too seriously. Even with his temperamental nature he had a better sense of humor than she.

Aimee stood on her toes and kissed Raoul's lips, smiling as she pulled back. "How did things go with Damon and Stefan?" She asked.

Raoul pulled her into him, not really wanting to discuss the matter as much as he wanted to focus on her. "Better than expected," he said, "No fights broke out between them, even now that they remember. I am sure that Damon is well aware of the things that he refused to allow himself to see back then. However, I believe that they are determined to handle the matter like adults and if that is the case I'm relieved."

Aimee wasn't entirely sure how much of their mature behavior would remain intact once Bonnie returned. She was actually certain that the two would come to blows beforehand. "And how do you think Bonnie will handle the situation?" Aimee asked.

Raoul shrugged. "We won't know until she gets back," he said, "And until then we'll take down Mama Original and make sure the danger is clear for her return. But we can't do that until Thomas gets here, which means we have some time to kill. What do you suggest we do?"

Aimee took a step away from him and beckoned him to follow with her index finger. "If you are still looking for your wife," she said, "Perhaps she's in the shower." Raoul watched with interest as she pulled her shirt over her head and let it fall to the floor. "Perhaps she wants you to join her."

Raoul walked forward, unbuttoning his shirt as he did so. "I suppose it's worth looking into," he said, as his own shirt hit the floor.

:::

Mystic Falls, Virginia 1864

It had been raining all day and Bonnie thought that it was appropriate considering her mood. Not only was she missing home, as she tended to do whenever she was left alone to her own devices; but Stefan had gotten into a fight with his father and he had gone missing. Damon and Raoul had searched for him to no avail and Bonnie could not sleep for fear of what could have happened.

Damon would not tell her what the argument was about and so she was sure that it had something to do with her. Her presence was interfering with things and the guilt because of it was beginning to take hold.

It was her own stupidity that had brought her here. Her own actions, spanning from her own feelings of inadequacy. All because she had been mourning not being invited to a ball that she hadn't even wanted to go to and because she had been hell bent on bonding with a woman that had left her. Now she was somewhere that she didn't belong, being reminded constantly that she did not belong there.

Bonnie sat in the parlor, on the couch in front of the fire place, her white sleeveless nightgown trailing along the floor where her legs hung over the edge. She was attempting to read the book that Stefan had given her but her eyes looked down at the words unseeing. Her hands twisted and untwisted the handkerchief that Stefan had given her as she wondered where he could have possibly gone and what they would do if he didn't return. What would it change in the future and what would it mean for the past?

Bonnie felt helpless. There was nothing she could do. It was not as if she could assist in the search, as walking around and asking after Stefan's whereabouts was out of the question, at least for her. She had thought about offering to use Damon's blood to perform a locator spell but then she remembered that the Salvatores of this time didn't know that she was a witch and would likely not take it well were they to find out.

Bonnie placed that handkerchief in between the pages of the book to keep her place, before closing it and setting it down on the table in front of her. She looked over at the grandfather clock standing against the opposite wall. It was late and she would have to go to bed soon.

Corrine and Solomon had gone to bed long ago and she knew if she stayed up much longer, one of them would likely wake and come and check on her. Because of where she was, and how out of place she sometimes felt, at times she found it hard to sleep. When she did stay awake she often kept one or both of the others up with her. She didn't want to do that tonight. She felt guilty enough as it was. Still she wanted to stay up and wait until she had some word on Stefan's whereabouts.

It was odd being this concerned for him. She told herself that it was because he was human and not a vampire, and therefore less able to take care of himself in this time. However, she wasn't so sure that was entirely the case.

Bonnie stood and moved to turn off the oil lamps in the room but stopped as she heard a knock at the front door. Hope that it was Raoul or Damon with some sort of news filled her and she dropped what she was doing to run toward the sound.

It wasn't until Bonnie got to the door that she questioned her state of dress. She found herself ever conscious of propriety in this time. It was nerve-racking and she hated that it was even necessary. But with her hair down, her feet bare, and her nightgown displaying not much skin by the standards of her time; but far too much within the constraints of this one, Bonnie hesitated.

Deciding that Stefan's wellbeing was more important, as she knew that no one would show up this late without reason, Bonnie bit the bullet and opened the door. She was surprised to find Stefan on the other side, drenched and shivering, the rain steadily coming down behind him.

"Stefan?" Bonnie said, eyeing him worriedly.

Stefan swallowed as he took in her appearance. His eyes lingered on each expanse of exposed skin before he remembered himself and cleared his throat. "I am sorry to impose," he said, his teeth chattering, "But may I come in?"

Bonnie nodded her head. "It's okay," she said, "Come inside. You must be freezing." She took his hand and tugged him inside, shutting the door behind him. "I don't have any dry clothes for you but you should at least take off your jacket and come sit by the fire for a little while," she coaxed softly.

Nodding, Stefan allowed her to help him off with his coat, and the jacket underneath. She hung them on the coat rack by the door and then gestured toward his boots as well. He frowned but kicked them off anyway, before he followed her through the house and to the room she had just left.

She offered him a seat on the couch and then disappeared in search of blankets and towels. Stefan stared at the flames in the fire place as he waited for Bonnie to return. He had been riding all day. Even with the rain he had kept going, wanting to get as far away from home as possible. As far away from his father as possible.

He looked up as Bonnie returned, placing blankets next to him as she handed him a towel. He attempted to dry himself, but his hands shook as he was still unable to find warmth.

Sighing, Bonnie took the towel from Stefan's hands and knelt down beside him on couch as she began to towel off his hair. "What happened?" Bonnie asked, "Damon and Raoul have been looking for you all day. They said you got into it with your father."

Stefan let out a bitter laugh as Bonnie swiped the towel over the back of his neck. "He was discussing Damon's behavior as of late," he said, "Blaming you for it…"

Bonnie stiffened a moment, freezing in her movements, before she continued. I should have guessed as much, Bonnie thought. The one encounter she had had with Giuseppe Salvatore had been unpleasant so it didn't really surprise her that he would continue to be a problem. "Go on," she whispered.

"He wanted me to agree with him," Stefan said, "I usually do but I couldn't. Not in this. I defended you and I've never seen him look so disappointed in me. I've worked so hard not to disappoint him all this time. To be what he expects me to be. To be what Damon can't be. I'm the good son. I'm supposed to be the good son."

"So that means you can't have your own opinions?" Bonnie frowned, "That you can't disagree or think for yourself? You can't live up to what everyone wants you to be all the time, Stefan. You're human. You're a person. You have faults. You exist outside of the pictures people paint of you and who you are in their heads."

Bonnie shook her head as she thought that she had forgotten the same thing about herself. She had had to be the hero, the moral one, the one who had put others before herself. She had grown silent and complacent, simply because she had been afraid of what people would think of her if she told them that she would stop helping, and stop abusing her powers. She had put everyone else's needs before herself and had lost the person she was in the person that everyone wanted her to be.

"You're not a saint, or a martyr, or a sounding board for other people's opinions," she said, "You shouldn't have to turn yourself inside out trying to live up to someone else's expectations no more than Damon should become some self-fulfilling prophesy because your father doesn't think he's good enough. You are who you are. Maybe it's not good enough for other people and that's their problem. But it should always be good enough for you."

"I'm tired of it all," Stefan frowned, "I'm so tired, Bonnie. I can't be good all the time. And what is good anyway? My father is wrong about so many things. About you. About Solomon. But I'm the bad one? It doesn't make sense. Who makes these rules and how come only certain people have to follow them?"

"There's a weighted question," Bonnie laughed, "But I don't think it has an answer. At least not one that would make you feel any better." She realized her drying was futile as his shirt was so wet that it was clinging to his skin. She went to remove it and his shaking hands stopped her. "I know it would be inappropriate," she sighed, "But I have to get you dry and you said you were tired of being good. So, please just do me a favor, and forget your manners for five minutes. Okay?"

Stefan didn't respond verbally but he removed his hands from hers, and nodded his approval. Bonnie lifted the shirt over his head and laid it over the back of the couch. She tried not to let her eyes linger on him as she toweled off his back.

"Why did you come here?" Bonnie asked, both out of curiosity and to take her mind off of the fact that he was half naked, "Why not go home and talk to Damon?"

"He wouldn't understand. I love my brother, I do. But he holds me to just as high a standard as my father. And I am no fool; I know he resents me for always remaining in my father's favor. He feels as if he cannot live up to me but, were I allowed to be myself, then I could not live up to me." He looked over at Bonnie, his thoughts becoming unclear. "I thought it would be easier with you," he said, "Ever since we met I felt like we were the same. Like we were mirrored in each other."

In a way he was right. They had both been martyrs. Moral. Sacrificial lambs. Both willing to do anything for the people they cared about. But there had been a darker side to the Stefan that she knew in present time. A side that he had tampered down. A side that he was afraid to show to other people for fear that they would no longer love him, and respect him. A side that Klaus had forced to the surface.

Bonnie was not sure that there was a darkness to her, not of the same type, but there were parts of her that she kept hidden, in part to protect herself and in part out of fear of rejection. There were parts of her that were angry, and hurt, and resentful, and broken; that no one would ever know about.

"I've said too much," Stefan said, taking her silence as a bad sign, "You must think I'm mad." He had seen something in her, or had thought he had. Something that he had been searching for. But perhaps he was wrong.

Bonnie shook her head. "No," she whispered, "I am just surprised by how right you are."

The Stefan of her time had thought that it would be easier to connect with her because they were both supernatural entities but that was not where their connection lied. In fact she had used the vampirism as a reason to reject him. If he had tried another way to reach out, had gone with the aspects of their personalities that were the same, and there were many, then they might have gotten closer to being friends than they had. And they had been so close. But Bonnie doubted that Stefan cared enough to reach out to her in that way. She also wondered if the Stefan of her time would remember her or this conversation.

Stefan frowned as he began to feel lightheaded. He was tired physically as well as mentally. But he knew that he couldn't rest here. It wouldn't be right. "My mind is a bit foggy," Stefan whispered, "I should head home."

Bonnie reached out her hand and touched his face, frowning at the temperature of his skin. She moved his damp hair out of the way and touched his forehead. "You're burning up," she said, "You're probably getting a fever. You should stay here and rest." He opened his mouth to object and Bonnie shook her head. "Don't argue with me on this," she said, "Do you think you could make it to one of the rooms upstairs?"

Stefan attempted to stand but his weak knees wouldn't allow it. "I suppose not," he said, sitting back down and holding his head, "I should not be surprised that my body has given out on me. Riding in the rain all day like a fool."

"You're not a fool." Bonnie stood and gently forced him to lie down. "You can sleep here on the couch," she offered, "I'll check on you in the morning." His eyes were already closed by the time the words left her lips. Bonnie placed the blanket over him and knelt down beside the couch. "Will you be alright by yourself?" Bonnie asked worriedly as she noted his heavy breathing and lack of color in his cheeks.

"If I say no will you stay with me?" Stefan murmured, his eyes peeking open.

Bonnie smiled as she reached out and brushed away the hair that had fallen into his face. "Maybe until you fall asleep," she replied. It was weird for her to see him weak, vulnerable, and slightly needy. She had for the most part, only seen him as steadfast and strong. Fragile had never been a word she had associated with Stefan until that moment.

Stefan was too proud to ask her to stay with him outright, even as he felt himself weakening. Still he knew his next words would damn him anyway. "Then no," Stefan said, smiling weakly, "I will not be alright on my own. In fact I would be devastated beyond reason if you left me here all by myself."

"I guess I'll just have to stay then," she whispered, silently wondering who she would tell the story of this incident to first when she got home. Bonnie laughed a little to herself as she leaned in and kissed Stefan's forehead. "I'm glad you came to me," she said, "I was worried about you."

Stefan didn't respond but a small smile graced his lips, and though he couldn't see it, Bonnie returned it anyway.

:::

Mystic Falls, Virginia, 2011

Damon Salvatore knew that drinking wasn't a good idea, but that had never stopped him before. For them Bonnie had been gone for a day. He wasn't sure how long it was for her. Didn't really think that it mattered. All his memories were still intact and so he was sure that nothing had really changed.

He had found the deed to the house that she had once lived in at their family's expense, still in their names. It was crazy to him that they had so many clues right in front of them all of this time and they had never found one. Had never remembered and so they had never even thought to look.

He looked up as his brother entered the living room and sat down next to him. Damon frowned as he stared straight ahead and continued to drink. The more he thought about it, the less that he thought he would know what to do when Bonnie came back.

"Do you have something to say to me brother?" Damon asked, as he looked over at Stefan finally.

Stefan nodded. "I was thinking about Bonnie... She didn't want to come between us. She never wanted that. We should have let her step back when she asked. She wasn't trying to manipulate us like Katherine and she wasn't claiming that she didn't know her own feelings like Elena. She was honest with us. As honest as she could be without giving away that she knew us in the future. We pushed her and we're just as responsible for this as she is."

Damon was quiet for a moment as he took another drink. "I'm aware of all of that," he said, "What do suggest that we do?"

Stefan frowned, running a hand over his face. He didn't want to say it. He didn't want to say it, but he knew that he had to. What other solution could there be. "I think that we should let her go," he said, "There isn't a way that we could end this without one of us getting hurt and I'm not going to make her choose. She doesn't deserve that."

"You didn't seem to feel that way towards the end of her time with us," Damon pointed out.

Stefan sighed. "That was then," he said, "This is now. There are other factors coming into play. Other things that we need to think about."

"If you're doing this because you think that if she did have to choose that she would choose you and you want to spare my feelings," Damon muttered, "Don't bother. It doesn't matter if it's with you or me or someone else I just want her happy. I need you to stop trying to protect me. I'm a big boy. I can handle rejection."

Stefan rolled his eyes, but decided not to comment on the last point. "That's just the thing Damon," Stefan frowned, "She wouldn't choose. She would walk away. You…" He paused, knowing that he was about to overstep but he also knew that it was the only way that he could get through to Damon. "You asked her something before she left….before what happened between me and Bonnie happened, you asked her something…"

Damon knew immediately what he was referring to and he felt his heart sink. "She told you that?" Damon asked, frowning.

"Yeah," Stefan nodded, "She told me." Stefan waited for him to say something but Damon remained silent and so he chanced speaking again. "You should know that she didn't say no because she hadn't thought about it," Stefan said, "Or because she thought it would mess up the time line, which it probably would have but it doesn't matter now. She told me her reasons. She refused because she didn't think it would be fair to you, to any of us, with how she felt for me. Doing what you asked her to do would have been making a choice. One that she wasn't sure that she could commit to. She thought that you deserved better."

"So she told you that and then you two-"

"That isn't how it happened," Stefan interrupted, his hands clenching into fists, "She was saying that she would run any day and then Raoul said that he couldn't protect you anymore, that you would have to go back and fight in the war. I was losing you both and I was scared. I didn't know what to do. I…was willing to keep quiet for your sake but knowing that she could just be gone and that you wouldn't be there to protect her anyway if she decided to stay….I couldn't lie to her Damon. Not anymore. Not when she was finally being honest with me about how she felt."

"And how was that?" Damon asked, and then shook his head, "Why am I asking? I already know."

Stefan had been through this with him before, so he knew it didn't really matter what he said. That things wouldn't get any better. "That doesn't mean that what she felt for you wasn't real," Stefan said, "It was never just one or the other with her. She needed us both. That's why she didn't want to cross that line and why we should have let her walk away."

"It would be easier if she preferred one or the other," Damon spat, "Then I wouldn't feel like I had a chance to sway her or like there was something more that I could've done." For Katherine it had always been Stefan. Elena, on most days had said the same. All out rejection was at least clean cut and without vagueness. "I can't talk to you about this," Damon said, shaking his head and setting his glass down. He stood slowly and began to back away.

"Damon-"

"I think you're right," Damon said, "We should end this now and walk away. I'll start." With those words he walked away and didn't look back.

:::

Mystic Falls, Virginia 1864

The next morning Bonnie sat down across from Damon at the dining room table. Stefan had gotten slightly worse since the night before. Though, he only had a cold, a common cold was different in the eighteen hundreds than it was in her time and if left untreated it could easily become worse.

Bonnie watched out of the corner of her eyes as Corrine got a tray of food ready to take upstairs to Stefan. She was fluttering about in a very motherly fashion, a fact that didn't surprise Bonnie now that she knew that the woman had a son. Still, Bonnie had been the one to sit with Stefan all morning after Solomon had carried him upstairs. She blamed herself for his illness so she intended on being the one to take care of him.

"Why didn't you contact me the minute that he arrived here?" Damon asked, regaining Bonnie's attention.

"I told you," Bonnie sighed, "It was very late. I couldn't exactly send word to your house at that hour, especially not without alerting your father." Outside it was still raining and Bonnie was sure that it wouldn't let up any time soon. "I don't mean to be rude, but your father isn't a pleasant man and I do not wish to deal with him on a good day. Let alone in the middle of the night when he is already upset about his missing son. Excuse me for not wanting to be degraded and talked down to before I had a good night's sleep."

Corrine gave Bonnie a look, even as she had to cover her mouth with her hands to hide her amused smile.

"I understand," Damon frowned, "That father can be unpleasant. But if you had come to Raoul at least he could have gotten word to me."

"It would have only brought you here a few hours earlier and given your father a reason to be suspicious that not one, but two of his sons had gone missing in the middle of the night." He would have likely come straight to Bonnie since he blamed her for everything from the war going on to each time he suffered a headache.

Sensing Bonnie's irritation Damon decided to drop the matter. "I understand under the circumstances why you didn't tell me," he said, "Though I wish that you had."

"Speaking of which," she said, "Why didn't you tell me that the fight that Stefan had with your father was because of me?"

Damon frowned as he rested his elbows on the table. "I didn't want to upset you," he told her, "Besides it was more about the fact that Stefan disagreed with him and disobeyed him than anything else. It could have been about anything. My father's issues are his own and no one else's. At least that is what you keep telling me. You cannot just back out of those words when they apply to his opinions of you. Especially, when those opinions are wrong."

Her anger suddenly deflating, Bonnie sat back in her chair. She wondered how much of her arguing with him had been because she was really upset and how much had been because she was used to it and she longed to do something familiar to her. "You're right," Bonnie nodded, "I just don't want either one of you getting hurt because of me."

"We could say the same thing about you." Damon studied her a moment before he next spoke. "Thank you," he said, "For taking care of him. You could have left the matter to Corrine but obviously his friendship means something to you."

"Yours does to," Bonnie said, seriously. It was clear that Damon was on edge. She couldn't help but think that a part of him was remembering when his mother was sick. She didn't know how much he did remember. But Mary Salvatore's death still affected both brothers and she was certain that his mind would link their mother's illness to Stefan's somehow. "I know that you're worried about him, but he will be well taken care of. Nothing's going to happen to him. It's just a cold. It isn't like with…." Bonnie lowered her voice as she leaned forward. "It isn't like with your mother," she whispered.

"I know that," Damon said, leaning forward as well, "Consumption is obviously more fatal than a common cold." He reached out and placed his hand over hers. "Thank you for worrying about me but I was simply expressing my gratitude to you."

"Oh," Bonnie frowned, feeling silly, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up….something that you probably don't like thinking about."

Damon shook his head. "It's fine," he said. Secretly it pleased him that her concern could extend to him, even while his brother was ill. Shaking the thoughts away, he stood as Corrine returned with the tray. "Would you mind if I brought it up to him?" Damon asked, "I would like to sit with him for a while."

Corrine nodded, handing the tray over to him and disappearing back into the kitchen.

Bonnie watched as Damon left the room with the tray. She had obviously said the wrong thing. Sighing, she looked down at the table, not looking up until Solomon walked into the room.

"You shouldn't beat yourself up," Solomon said, "That boy has been missing his mother for years."

"What was she like?" Bonnie asked, "They've told me things. But I know that you knew her well, and sometimes children can remember their parents with a bias, especially once they've lost them,"

Solomon nodded. Bonnie gestured for him to sit, and after a moment of hesitation in which he looked around, he took the seat that Damon had vacated. "Well," he said, "She was a pretty little thing. Had Stefan's eyes, and Damon's smile. She liked to sing, spend time in her garden. She loved those boys more than anything. Giuseppe was different when she was alive. Lighter is the word for it I guess. When she took ill, it was like a dark cloud just took over the whole house. It hasn't been easy on any of them. The boys don't smile as much. I miss her myself; she was like a daughter to me. She talked to me like a person, loved me like I was worth something. She was a good one."

Bonnie smiled, wondering what the woman would have thought of her were Damon actually able to really introduce them. Then she wondered why it mattered to her at all. "Do you think that they'll be okay one day?" Bonnie asked, "Stefan and Damon, I mean."

Solomon nodded. "I didn't think they would," he said, "They had each other but there are things that brothers cannot share with one another. Especially with the way that their father likes to build conflict between them. Pit them against each other. But since you came…they seem to be coming into themselves. They're doing better. Smiling more. Damon is…acting more like a man than a boy. I don't think I have to worry about them so much anymore."

Bonnie shook her head. "But, I'm not really doing anything," she denied, "We're friends… I guess. But I mean, it could have been anyone that Damon made an arrangement with that night. I'm not anything special." Besides, when she left, Katherine would come and she would be the one that was the catalyst for everything that they became, not Bonnie. Then it would be Elena after her. Bonnie knew that in the long run she wouldn't really matter. It bothered her to think that way, bothered her in a way that it wouldn't have in the beginning, but either way it was the truth.

"Everyone is someone special to someone," Solomon smiled, "I was someone special to my wife once. Mary was someone special to Giuseppe. You keep doing what you're doing; you'll be someone special to them boys. If you ain't already."

I doubt that very much, Bonnie thought to herself. "I'm not doing anything," Bonnie insisted with a shrug, "I'm just being myself."

"For the people who will matter to you most," Solomon said, as he stood, "The ones that you leave your mark on and that leave their mark on you. That's all it takes."

:::

Mystic Falls, Virginia, 2011

Thomas La Belle frowned as he sat in the kitchen of what had once been Sheila Bennett's old home. He was thinking, as he always did on the rare occasions that he had allowed himself to, of Emmanuelle Fontaine. In the end she had found the courage to run from her arrangement with John Gilbert. However, she had run alone.

Thomas had revealed himself to her. Told her about his powers and she had rejected him. She had been the first person he had loved and he had not loved another since then. It was an odd thing that he had been the one to tell Bonnie that it would happen for her, that she would move on and Bonnie had not been looking to. Still she had moved on to a situation even messier than her first and Thomas who had been seeking love had found nothing.

He stared at the necklace that he had stolen the night before and wondered if they would have everything else that they needed to help Bonnie before she returned.

"I understand why Aimee and Raoul are helping my daughter," Abby said, as she walked into the kitchen, "But why are you here?"

Thomas smiled at her as he noted the resemblance between the woman and her daughter. He was being more lenient on her than Raoul, but the effect that the woman's abandonment had had on Bonnie was not loss to him. He wondered if the woman would have ever come back if Bonnie hadn't sought her out.

"She is a close friend of mine," Thomas said, "I have a soft spot for her and in many ways she has always reminded me of my sister, Lisette." He didn't feel the need to explain himself further. To be honest he thought that the woman should be of the mind that she should accept all of the allies that she could get.

Still the fact that she was asking questions about him, gave him hope that Abby did care about who was around her daughter and what relationships that Bonnie had and with whom.

Abby nodded. "Aimee and Raoul haven't been very forthcoming with information," she said, "They don't tell me anything beyond what they feel I need to know. I keep wondering about Bonnie. What she's doing or where she ended up. Can you tell me without the shadow of a doubt that my daughter is really okay?"

Thomas nodded. "She is well and though she might come back changed," he said, "It will be for the better in many ways." He decided to leave out Bonnie's involvement with the Salvatore brothers. Abby would learn of that soon enough. However, there was one issue that he wanted to address with her. He cleared his throat, before he continued. "I know this isn't my place," he said, "But when Bonnie talked about you to us…she was unsure that you actually cared for her. I can tell from the look on your face that you do. Maybe you should make it a little more obvious to Bonnie, when she gets back."

Normally Abby would have been offended but Aimee had told her something along the same lines. She knew that there was a lot about her relationship with Bonnie that she would have to address and make up for.

Abby considered Thomas a moment, before she nodded in turn. "I'll remember that," she said. She would remember, and in the meantime she would do what she could to help Bonnie until she returned and she could repair that damage that she had done when she had left her.

:::

Mystic Falls, Virginia 1864

Bonnie's hands continued to move over the piano keys as Aimee and Raoul danced around the room. The couple had told her that they had spent much time dancing while in France. Much time consumed in each other and their sudden freedom. It still baffled her a bit that they had come back to a place where they had less rights and their time together was cut in half.

But they had always been for and about helping their own people and that was exactly what it was that they were doing.

As the song ended Bonnie turned in time to see the two embrace and kiss. She looked away, not wanting to intrude on their moment. Bonnie had seen people in love before but it was always her friends as she didn't remember what her parents had been like as a happy couple or if they ever had been happy. Her friends, while the loved, seemed to jump from relationship to relationship. Nothing ever lasted. Raoul and Aimee seemed more real. They knew one another so well; they loved each other for everything that the other was. They found the freedom in their love that society refused to give them in life and Bonnie found an extreme sense of beauty in that.

Bonnie looked up as Damon suddenly came into the room and sat down next to her. "Are they always like that?" Damon asked, eying the Merciers with something akin to distaste.

Bonnie laughed as she nodded. She might have been offended if she wasn't sure that Damon's attitude had more to do with his dislike of Raoul and his feelings in regards to public displays of affection in general than anything else. "They are always like that and I think it's wonderful," she said.

Damon raised a brow at her sentiment. "In what way exactly?" He asked. It had been two days and Bonnie had Stefan finally well enough to sit up and move around a bit. He would be going home soon and Bonnie found that she would miss him and Damon found that he would miss having an excuse to come and see Bonnie. However, his brother's health was his main priority.

"I just don't think that there could be anything wrong with being loved the way that those two love each other," Bonnie shrugged, "I know for a fact it isn't always as simple as these two. You can love someone but that doesn't mean they have to love you back in the same way or at all."

"Respect their love all you want, Bonnie," he frowned, "But you shouldn't' covet it. Or aspire to it. Or try to mirror it. You can't control things like that." He remembered love turning his father into a good man and then losing it turning him into something else altogether. "Love is different for everyone. The way Raoul loves Aimee could never be copied. My mother always said that love was the most uncontrollable force that there is. You can't force someone to love you anymore than you can force yourself to love someone. But then you have these silly romantics saying things like, they place their heart in someone else's hands or that if I love him or her then they must take responsibility. I've always found it odd when people seem to think that they have to take responsibility for someone else's feelings. We can hardly control our own feelings so why must we be blamed when someone else decides to feel a certain way about us."

Bonnie almost laughed; she very much doubted he would still feel that way once Katherine came along. It was clear to her that the Damon in her time placed responsibility for his actions on the shoulders of everyone but himself, particularly people that he claimed to love. "It isn't so much about blame or responsibility," she said, "you don't have to love someone just because they love you but at the same time you should be conscious of their feelings if you're aware of them and act accordingly. People are free to reject who they wish to reject and love who they love. But at the same time it's wrong to use or manipulate those feelings one way or another. It's also selfish. Raoul and Aimee are not selfish in their love. They have always been honest with each other. When they were friends. When they wanted more. When they became lovers. When they became man and wife. That is what I would want. Someone I didn't have to lie to. That's all I meant. Someone I could be myself with. Someone that didn't make me apologize for my feelings. If not then what's the point?"

Bonnie's mouth snapped shut as she noted the frown on Damon's face. She always found herself saying too much and speaking out of turn when she was with him. Most of what she said would never fly in polite society in this time but he never seemed to be bothered by it. At the moment he seemed thoughtful, but he didn't say anything.

As she waited for him to respond, she became lost in her own thoughts. She wondered when she had come to have such clear and concise views about love. She supposed being lied to and misled had given her clarity of sorts. Still she didn't think she was ready to go down that road with anyone again.

"What's that in your hand?" Bonnie asked, changing the subject as she watched Raoul waltz Aimee out of the room.

"The book you asked for," Damon said, "For Stefan."

Bonnie smiled. "Thanks," she said, "I think we've all grown tired of Great Expectations for now." Bonnie and Damon had been alternating in reading to a bed ridden Stefan. However, since he was close to being up and about it would be over soon.

Bonnie stood and stretched her arms over her head. "You said that you knew for a fact," Damon said, as he looked up at her, "About love. Does that mean that you've loved before?"

Bonnie winced, she had hoped that the conversation would have turned to something else. "Once," Bonnie answered, "I suppose. But I hear that your first love is very rarely your last. According to Thomas there is a good chance that I will love again. Not that I am looking to. I think his hopes are more for himself than for me."

Damon stood and looked to be in deep thought again. "Being in love," he said, "What was it like?"

Bonnie felt weird about the conversation but she answered the question anyway. "Nice," she shrugged, "Then painful. I don't think it's the same every time, like your mother said. I think it depends on the person. The type of love. The type of relationship."

"But if it can happen again and again," Damon said, "Why would it be something that is so important to so many. If it lacks permanence."

"It can be permanent," Bonnie said, "Especially if you work at it. It just isn't always that way."

Damon began to walk toward the stairs and Bonnie walked next to him. "You and Stefan read too many books," he said, "Develop these romantic ideals that would never really happen outside of their pages."

"You'll understand when it happens to you," Bonnie said, "And it will happen." She had borne witness to it and it's after affects.

"You sound so sure," Damon laughed, as they reached the staircase and began to climb up it, "So final. What I don't understand is how I have to fall in love to understand it. But Stefan who has never been in love can understand the concept so well."

"Like you said," Bonnie said, "Stefan is a romantic. And who knows, perhaps he has been in love before. Maybe he just didn't tell you."

Damon frowned as they reached the top of the stairs and began to walk down the hall. "My brother tells me everything," he said.

"Then maybe you should ask him and not me," Bonnie suggested.

They were about to reach the door of the room where Stefan was, when he grabbed Bonnie's arm. "One more question," he said, as he looked down at her. She glanced down at his hand on her arm and he let go of her a moment later. "How do you know?" Damon asked, "When you're in love, how do you know?"

Bonnie sighed. She didn't know where the sudden questions were coming from. But she supposed Damon had never seen a healthy romantic relationship, as his mother had died and his father had shut down when he and Stefan were so young. Still Bonnie wasn't the one to ask, her parents were divorced and all she had to go on as far as experience went was Jeremy. She was about as equipped to inform Damon about love as Damon was her. "I don't know, Damon," Bonnie answered, honestly, "Sometimes you don't." Damon looked even more confused and Bonnie laughed again. "I'm really not the person to ask. You'd be better off talking to Raoul."

"But I don't like Raoul," he said.

"Then I suppose you must like me then," Bonnie said, smiling a little, as she reached for the door knob. She would definitely be holding the fact over Damon's head once she returned. Though, she doubted the friendship would hold up.

Damon nodded. "Well," he said, "I thought that was rather obvious."

"Well take my advice and talk to Raoul," she suggested, "Or you could pick up a romance novel next time you're out."

Damon scowled and shook his head. "I think I will pass on both counts."

Sighing, Bonnie gave him a look before she opened the door and greeted Stefan. He smiled at them as Damon took the seat in the chair next to the bed. Bonnie took the book from Damon's hand as Stefan sat up, his back resting against the headboard of the bed.

Bonnie sat down next to Stefan and smiled. "Damon got us a new book," she said, "It's a mystery. Can you guess what it is?" She covered the cover of the book with her hands, so that he couldn't see.

Stefan looked in between Bonnie and Damon. "I'm not sure," Stefan said, "Give me a hint. A quote at least."

"Fine," Bonnie said, leaning back against the headboard and cracking open the book. She didn't notice that her movement cause their shoulder's to touch but both Stefan and Damon did. "Okay," Bonnie said, beginning to read, "'I say what other people only think, and when all the rest of the world is in a conspiracy to accept the mask for the true face, mine is the rash hand that tears off the plump pasteboard and shows the bare bones beneath.'"

Stefan tapped his chin with his index finger as he began to think. "I've got it," he said, "The Woman in White, by Wilkie Collins."

Bonnie pouted. "You do read too much," Bonnie sighed, "One day I am going to find a book you haven't read."

Stefan shook his head. "Before you attempt the impossible," he said, "How about you start this one from the beginning."

"Alright," Bonnie said, "but it isn't impossible." She flipped the pages of the book to the beginning and began to read. "This is the story of what a Woman's patience can endure, and of what a Man's resolution can achieve…'"

As Stefan moved slightly closer to Bonnie so that he could listen to her read, Damon frowned. He had been wrong, it seemed, about his brother telling him everything as he had not realized how close that Stefan and Bonnie had become until that very moment. Then again, Damon wasn't too sure that Stefan knew how close that Damon was to Bonnie either. He hoped that he and his brother didn't make it a habit of keeping things from one another. Because neglecting to tell something was almost the same as keeping a secret and they didn't have secrets. Perhaps he should do as Bonnie had suggested and ask, even if he was not sure he would like the answer that he received.