Title: The Gods of Virginia
Rating: M
Genre: AU/AH, Time Travel/Romance
Pairing(s): Bonnie/Stefan, Bonnie/Damon, Elijah/Katherine, Tyler/Caroline, Rebekah/OC, Matt/Katherine, etc.
Summary: When an accident sends Bonnie Bennett back to 1864, and circumstance forces her into becoming a "kept" woman, she is less than excited to find that Damon Salvatore will be the one for whom she will play placée, but it is the price she must pay to live amongst the gens de couleur, a society that holds the only ancestor she has with the power to send her home. However, Bonnie begins to interest Stefan Salvatore as well and to make matters worse Mystic Falls isn't ready to witness open concubinage between a white man and a black woman especially when that woman is suspected of witchcraft.
Warnings: Time Travel, Non-Canon, Racism, Sexual Content, Violence, Original Character etc.
Part Six: Fireflies
People believe that all change happens suddenly. In a flash something happens that changes your life forever. It happens that way sometimes. But those changes. Those flashes and instances that amount to little moments are rarely ever permanent. Real change is gradual. It comes slowly over time. The difference in between sudden change and slow change is simple. It's like the difference between someone telling you that they are a blood relative that, they are your family and the moment when you actually began to see them as family, to feel that familial connection. It's the difference between liking someone the first time you meet them and the moment you realize that they are your friend. Not just friend but someone you will cherish for the rest of your life. Then there is the slow change, the gradual building of the relationships and emotions, when you go from perceiving someone's outside to getting to know what is underneath. When you go from seeing one aspect of a person to seeing another and then another aspect until you are seeing the whole picture and perhaps that picture is not perfect and it is damaged or frightening but because you can see you can understand and it turns into something beautiful just the same. Even the changes within ourselves can be gradual. Sometimes we change and do not even realize it until we react to something differently than we normally would. Or something shifts in the way that we see the things and the people around us. I have changed, slowly, sometimes happily and others painfully. But I like who I am now, even if I'm not sure that when I get back everyone will.
― From Bonnie Bennett's letter to Caroline Forbes written, April, 1864
Mystic Falls, Virginia, 1864
Raoul Mercier smiled as he walked into the parlor of the house that the Salvatore had commissioned for Bonnie's use. The witch in question had fallen asleep on the small couch in the center of the room, a book open in her lap.
In the last few days she had not left her room much. Raoul supposed it was due to the fact that her encounter with Lockwood had affected her more than she was willing to let on. The wolf was bolder than Raoul had initially thought and he feared that they had not seen the last of him. Even more than that he feared what Aimee would do to keep the man away.
Raoul walked over to sofa and gently shook Bonnie away. When her eyes opened she blinked at him a moment and he knew that she was readjusting herself to where she was and with whom she was now with. At times she seemed to treat their time like a dream world. Always she seemed to be reminding herself that this place and this time were temporary for her. Raoul knew that it was more due to the fact that she did not want to get too attached to them than to the fact that she abhorred being away from home. From what she had told them so far home had not been that much more welcoming a place for her.
"Bonjour poupée," he greeted, watching as her lips twitched upward just a little.
"Bonjour," Bonnie murmured as she sat up slowly. Sleeping in her day clothes always proved to be a discomfort upon waking and so she normally tried to avoid it. However, her current reading material had not been as entertaining as she had hoped and as she had taken to staying in her room alone she had not had as many visits from anyone other than Raoul, Thomas, and Aimee as of late.
"How are you feeling today?" Raoul asked. He took the seat next to her as she sat upright.
Bonnie shrugged. "It's weird being asked that by someone who actually wants a real answer," she sighed, "Most people…back home...most people just ask because they want me to say that I am fine so that it can make them feel better if they asked at all. I didn't get the difference until I came here. There's a lot of things I'm not used to here."
Raoul raised a curious dark brow. "Such as?" He turned his body toward her so that she would know that she had his full attention.
"This," Bonnie said motioning between them with her hand, "Talking. About myself. About my feelings. People wanting to know about me." She frowned as she thought about what else there was. She considered how much she wanted to reveal to him. "I'm not used to having family around me," she continued after a moment, "My dad is gone a lot. My grams is dead. My mom is back now but I don't really know her at all. She's like a stranger so it doesn't mean that much to me. I don't even know where we stand you know. I don't even know if she cares that I'm gone. I don't know if she stayed in Mystic Falls long enough to try and figure out what happened to me."
"Didn't you have anyone?" Raoul frowned in concern.
"My friends," Bonnie nodded, "But they have their own lives. And sometimes…sometimes having them didn't really ever make me feel any less alone. They don't talk to me the way you guys do. Not anymore. That's why it's so weird being around Stefan and Damon here. The them I know from my time could care less about me. They have people that are way more important to them than I ever was or am rather. That's why I don't get why they treat me so different now…here in this time. I mean in my time they need me alive and respect me for my powers I guess but…they've asked me to do so many things with my magic that when they found out about my powers I have expected them to start asking me for favors."
Raoul made a sound of disgust but didn't comment. He was afraid that if he spoke then she would stop speaking. It was clear to him that she needed to talk, to be heard, to be listened to. He wondered as she poured herself out him, who though family was still closer to being a stranger than the people that she had left behind, how long she had been made to be kept silent.
"I didn't even know what I was doing half the time," Bonnie said wringing her hands together, "After grams I never had anyone to guide me. To help me with my powers. A lot of the times the people who bothered to try didn't know any more than I did and the ones who could have helped…were either too busy using me or didn't care enough to offer any assistance. Not until Aimee. That's why I am grateful to her. More than she knows. And that's why it's hard for me sometimes to separate Stefan and Damon from who they are now to what I know they will become. I keep waiting for them to do something or say something wrong. When Damon saved me…I was so surprised. My first thought was 'why is he doing this I'm not Elena?'"
"Who is Elena?"
"My best friend," Bonnie answered automatically, but shook her head afterward, "Or she was. We were like sisters. I was willing to die for her. I still am but I…I can't remember the last time we had a real conversation. The last time we really talked about something that wasn't her. I can't remember anything in the last few years that has happened in my life that didn't tie back to her. I guess somewhere along the line she became more important to me than me." Bonnie swallowed at the revelation. It was not something that she was ready to think about. "Anyway," she said, changing the subject, "She's someone that both Stefan and Damon are in love with."
"Perhaps in your time but in this one," Raoul said carefully, "That honor belongs to someone else I believe." He gave Bonnie a meaningful look and sighed when she shook her head.
"No," Bonnie laughed. Raoul blinked. "I'm not saying that it isn't possible that they might have some sort of feelings for me," she said, her tone skeptical all the same, "But love is way too strong a word. And anyway if Katherine were here I wouldn't even be on their radar."
"And who is Katherine again?"
"Elena is her doppelganger," Bonnie explained, "She's Damon and Stefan's first love. Though there was manipulation involved and the definition of love I would say is highly questionable but I digress."
"Again as you predate this Katherine I believe the honor of first would go to you," Raoul stated. Bonnie scowled and he shrugged. "Fine then tell me what she looks like since they fell in love with two women with the same face. I can only assume that their personalities are almost interchangeable."
"Elena isn't that bad," Bonnie defended, "Sometimes I wonder but there is still hope for her." Bonnie reached up and pinned back a curl that had fallen out of place. Her hair was becoming a hindrance again. She would have to ask Corrine for help. "And she's beautiful," she continued, "Fair skin, soft features, slim, long dark hair, pretty brown eyes. So excuse me if I am of the mind that I am not either Stefan or Damon's type."
"You expect me to believe that you cannot compete with someone who from your description amounts to a pale doe eyed waif."
Bonnie shook her head biting back a laugh. "You are biased," she accused, "You are with Aimee so obviously she's not your type. And we're related so you saying I'm pretty or whatever you're saying doesn't really count. And though I'm not a nun or anything I didn't exactly have guys lining up to date me back home so excuse me for not being able to suspend all-"
"You," Raoul said, cutting her off. "Are beautiful, intelligent, witty, funny, powerful, kind, generous, strong and a slew of other things that I and anyone here who knows you could name that would make you desirable to anyone. Any man would be lucky to have you as a partner and if anyone has ever made you feel otherwise they are idiots and I would like to personally cause them physical harm for even putting the thought of you being in anyway unworthy into your head."
Bonnie attempted to laugh his words off but it came out as a half sob instead. It was a bittersweet moment. She had always wanted to hear those words but with her grams gone she was sure that once she went back to her time that she would never hear them from anyone ever again. She cleared her throat and attempted to brush his words off once more. "I don't even know why we're talking about this," she said, "I mean it's not like I'm interested in either Salvatore brother in that way. I've seen what a triangle with them looks like first hand and I will pass thanks."
Raoul opened his mouth to tell her it was likely too late for that but closed it when he realized that his words would likely fall on deaf ears. "Well just in case I should probably start teaching you Italian," he said, "Damon has the habit of using it as a means of persuasion. There might be a few key phrases you should know so that you can keep your guard up."
"Is that necessary?" Bonnie asked.
Raoul nodded. "If I say it is then it is," he smirked, "If you never remember anything else from your time here, remember this. I am always right."
:::
Mystic Falls, Virginia 2011
Damon Salvatore looked up as Raoul Mercier joined him on the steps of the boarding house. He looked straight up at the night sky, attempting and failing to ignore the man's presence.
"Stefan stepped aside for you before," Raoul said, after a moment, "He allowed you your time with Bonnie in spite of his feelings on the matter." Damon turned slightly to face him, one eyebrow raised. "Don't act as if you didn't know," Raoul laughed, "While I know that your intelligence leaves much to be desired I am aware that you are by no means a blind man. Besides what happened prior to Bonnie's departure never would have occurred had Stefan been allowed to feel what he was feeling and those feelings were allowed to run their course."
Damon rolled his eyes. "So let me guess," he said, "You're here to ask me to step aside for Stefan now and return the favor."
"Oh no," Raoul smirked, "I would never dream of asking that of you. Partially because I know it will do more harm than good and partially because I know that you would never listen. Besides the wife gave me your message and I assume that it means you intend to fight. Or at least that is what I hope."
Damon blinked at him. "What you hope?" he scoffed, "You don't even like me. Why would you want me near your precious poupée?" His tone was mocking but Raoul seemed unbothered.
Raoul ran a hand through his hair. "To be frank," he said, "I don't want either of you near my Bonnie. She's too good for both of you and we all know that. The problem here is that she also loves both of you in different ways but the love is there all the same. That is why I am of the mind that you and your brother need to get off your ass and say what needs to be said and do what needs to be done for everyone involved in this situation to get closure."
"So you're telling me you're not team Stefan on this one?"
Raoul shook his head. "I am team Bonnie," he said, "First, last and always. It is her choice who she ends up with and as long as she is happy and this triangle does not repeat itself again once her choice is made then I am fine with whatever outcome. I may not like you Damon and I may be partial to Stefan myself because he is and always was a dear friend. But my preferences has nothing to do with what Bonnie wants. She wants what she wants that could be him, you, or neither of you. And like I said I'm fine with whatever outcome if Bonnie is happy. Besides I don't want to see any of you hurt. Bonnie is precious to me. Stefan is the brother that I always wanted. And while you Damon are the brother that I wish I never had, you are my brother just the same." He gave Damon a pat on the shoulder and stood to go.
"Wait," Damon said, grabbing his arm to stop him. Raoul turned and looked at him expectantly. "About what happened between Bonnie and Stefan before she left…exactly how far did things go between them?"
Raoul sighed and shook his arm out of Damon's hold. "The answer to that isn't with me," he frowned, "I know that this seems to be a completely foreign concept to both you and your idiot martyr of a brother but if you wish to know what happened between Bonnie and your brother...then talk to your brother. And even stranger still when you talk to him you might even want to try listening as well."
Damon shook his head as he stood. He knew the man was right but he cut his eyes at him just the same. "Yeah, whatever," he said. He moved up the first two steps and stopped as Raoul spoke again.
"Just talk to him like an adult," Raoul sighed, "This is why I said neither one of you are good enough for Bonnie. You can't even carry yourselves like men. I'm going to go find my wife because unlike yourself I am not suffering from the misfortune of being trapped in a love triangle.; speaking of which you and your brother need to talk to the waif as well. It is better that the doppelganger knows clearly and without a doubt that you want Bonnie and only Bonnie. If that is indeed where you both stand."
"I can't speak for Stefan but that is where I stand," he responded.
"Then stop talking to me and go tell doe eyes," Raoul laughed, "Preferably over dinner as I am still not sure that she has ever had a proper meal."
"Yeah, yeah," Damon muttered, "Good night...," a long pause and then, "Brother." Raoul looked surprised for a moment but then nodded. "I still don't like you," Damon called more to save face than anything else.
"Of course you don't," Raoul laughed, "Just remember what I said, brother. Love isn't the only thing that I am always right about."
:::
Mystic Falls Virginia 1864
Bonnie wasn't sure why but she was beginning to wonder what would happen to her house once she got back to her own time. Or rather she wondered what had happened to it. Would it still be standing? Would it still be in the Salvatore's name? Would her bed be in the same place? Would the dresses Aimee had given still be in the trunk at the bed's foot? Was someone else living there? Would they find the remnants of Bonnie's presence once they moved in? Would it even matter?
She knew somewhere inside her head that the thoughts were foolish ones. But in spite of everything. In spite of wanting to go back to where she came from. In spite of the things she despised about the time. In spite of the fact that she knew that this was not and could never be where she belonged. In spite of all of those things, her house was beginning to feel like a home and the people that she shared it with and who made themselves fixtures in it whether they lived there are not, were becoming her family, whether or not they had her blood.
Bonnie blinked out of her thoughts as Corrine placed a plate down in front of her seat at the dining room table.
"Stop thinking so much and eat your pie," Corrine instructed as she wiped her hands on the front of the apron she was wearing.
Bonnie frowned as she picked up her fork. "You don't even know what I was thinking about," she murmured, "It could have been important."
"As much as you think I would hate to know what you deem important," Corrine countered, "If I see them eyebrows of yours draw together one more time I'm liable to take one of those knives in the kitchen and shave them off. You brood just as much as that youngest Salvatore boy. Only time either of you give me any relief is when you with each other or with the oldest one. I've never seen two young people take themselves so seriously. It's bothersome. I have half a mind to go back to working for Miss Aimee."
Bonnie raised an eyebrow at the last statement. "Would you rather deal with my brooding or Aimee's temper?" She asked.
Corrine sighed, shaking her head. "You might just have yourself a point," she conceded. Still she clucked her tongue at Bonnie as she began fussing with the place settings at the table. "You expecting any visitors today?"
Bonnie shrugged. "I never know when anyone comes," she said, "They just show up." There were people walking in and out all the time. Raoul and Aimee. Thomas and Emmanuelle. Damon and Stefan. Then there were Corrine and Solomon who were constant fixtures.
"I only asked because it's been quiet around here the last couple of days," Corrine shrugged, "Which I suspect is the reason behind the brooding and the stir craziness."
Bonnie gave a halfhearted smile as she stabbed her fork into the apple pie on her plate. "They all have lives and had things to do before I came here," she said, "They can't come over every day. Besides, I'm used to being alone."
The real truth of the matter was that she had been before she had gotten to their time. But she wasn't anymore. She was rarely left alone and since it was so rare in this time she felt the loneliness more acutely when it happened and she was often lost in her own head as a result. She knew that when she returned home it would be worse, now that she knew what it was like to not be alone all of the time, and what it meant to have the people around her truly concerned for her wellbeing.
"If you're used to being alone then perhaps I should leave then," a voice said, drawing Bonnie's attention.
Bonnie rolled her eyes even as she smiled at Damon as he entered the room. "If that was a back handed way of attempting to get me to ask you to stay it didn't work," she commented.
He shrugged, his blue eyes widening in a way that reminded her of the Damon in her time. "It was worth a try," he stated. She watched as he pulled out the chair next to her and sat down. "You had gotten into the habit of being much nicer to me the last few times I visited," he frowned as leaned onto the table top, propping his head up on his elbow, "Perhaps I stayed away too long."
Bonnie smirked, nodding her head. "Perhaps."
"Would it matter if I said that I come baring gifts?" He asked, as he sat upright. At the shake of her head he sighed, "You are a cruel woman, Miss Bennett."
"So I've been told." She ignored him in favor of turning her attention to the pie on her plate.
"You wound me," he said, placing a hand on his chest, "You should make amends by sharing your pie with me."
Bonnie shook her head as she raised her fork to her lips. "You can't have any," she said as she placed the fork into her mouth.
Corrine rolled her eyes. "Is that why you had me make it in case he came over?" she asked, "So you could make sure he didn't have any." She ignored the look that Bonnie gave her in favor of watching Damon pull a piece of paper from his pocket.
"And for that bit of information," he said as he winked in Corrine's direction, "I give my gift for you. A letter from the front."
Corrine smiled as her eyes landed on her son's familiar handwriting. She took the letter and nodded her thanks.
"Now," Damon said, turning back to Bonnie, "About that pie."
"I'm sure Corrine would be happy to get you your own since the two of you are getting along so well all of a sudden," she said. She refused to look directly at him as she was sure that his face would be smug from learning that she had commissioned the pie to be baked for him.
"I would rather share yours," he said eyeing her plate. He wasn't surprised when she turned on him then and he was sure there was a hellish reply on the tip of her tongue. "Come now, Miss Bennett," he implored, "I have only been neglecting you for the better part of two days. Surely I can be forgiven. Even when I was away I thought of little else but you the entire time." When she simply blinked at him, he leaned in slightly closer. "Don't give me that look, bella," he grinned, "Penso sempre a te. Ti voglio sempre avere al mio fianco.Ti adoro."
Bonnie bit her lip to keep from laughing. It was clear that he wasn't aware that she could understand him. "I'm beautiful?" she asked, "You always think about me? You always want me by your side? You adore me? Is all that true?"
Corrine coughed to cover up her own laugh as Damon's face reddened. "I was not aware that you understood Italian," he frowned looking down at the table in front of him.
"Raoul is teaching me," Bonnie revealed, "He warned me that you might try and use it to get what you want from me. He said it always worked on your mother. But you were a little boy then so I suppose it was cute. Now though, not so much."
"Is that why you're smiling?" Damon asked.
Bonnie looked back down at her plate. "I'm smiling to keep from laughing in my attempt to save you from any further embarrassment," she said. It wasn't entirely the truth. She hadn't found the use of his father's native tongue entirely amusing. It had been nice, his voice had lowered in a way that made her stomach flutter slightly and she could understand how it could be more persuasive than his usual antics. Then again ever since he had saved her from George Lockwood she had found herself more receptive to him and his presence just the same.
"What exactly does Raoul think that I want from you?" Damon asked, regaining her attention. His eyes narrowed as he thought about whom he would never truly admit he considered a friend.
Bonnie shrugged. "I'm not really sure," she said, "But there's no need for you to worry too much. It's not like I took you seriously."
Damon cleared his throat and decided silently to forge ahead as he reached down into the sack at his feet and pulled out the ornate box he had picked out for her. "You should take me seriously," he said, "I meant what I said…in a way," a cough followed by, "We are friends are we not?" Before she could answer, he took her hand and placed the box inside of it. "Sei importante per me," he whispered, "And this is a keepsake box, a place to keep all of your memories so that you never forget."
Bonnie looked down at the box unsure of how to respond. She was not sure what was stranger, the fact that Damon had admitted that she was important to him or the fact that he had given her a gift. It was all so much outside of the realm of what she was accustomed to when interacting with him. She supposed that she shouldn't have been too surprised as she had accepted the fact that she was a witch in a time where her magic, her sex, and her color were all strikes against her. However, she still could not let go of how marred their relationship, if that was even the word for it, in her time was.
Bonnie ran her hand over the lid of the box and smiled softly. It wasn't simply that he had given her a gift. It was the attention to the tiny details that gave Bonnie pause. The rosewood and the orchids painted on the lid. It was hard for it all to come together in her head that this Damon would turn into the Damon that she had left.
Bonnie reached back toward the table and pushed her plate over to Damon. "It is pretty," she conceded, "I suppose you can have one bite."
"If that is your way of saying thank you," Damon said, as he picked up her fork, "Then I accept."
Bonnie was about to chastise him for using her fork when she heard Corrine gasp and turned her attention toward the older woman. She frowned as she watched Corrine's eyes roam over her son's letter. "What is it?" Bonnie asked, "Is William hurt?"
Corrine shook her head. "Not exactly," she sighed as she put the letter down onto the table, "Aimee's spells protected him from being injured but he's in a different kind of trouble." Her hands clenched into fists and she shook her head. "He's free," she said, "like me. But he and a couple of others got captured by some southern solders. They tried to sell him and the others into slavery. He got away but he's on the run. On his way here."
Bonnie opened her mouth to ask how it was possible to sell a free man into slavery but shut it just as fast. The law didn't protect people like them in this time, and didn't always protect blacks in the time that she was from so she wasn't sure why she was surprised. "If William comes here," she said, "He will have a place to stay in this house. There's plenty of room."
"Are you sure, Miss Bonnie?" Corrine said, though she was rather pointedly looking at Damon.
Bonnie was reminded that Damon was in fact the owner of the house and not her. She opened her mouth to convince him to agree but he wasn't looking at her. Instead his eyes were on Corrine and they were full of resolve. "We're sure," he said, his tone full of finality.
Bonnie smiled and held her tongue about him using her fork as Damon finished off the rest of the pie on the plate.
:::
Mystic Falls, Virginia, 2011
Caroline Forbes followed behind Thomas and Matt as they walked through the house that Thomas had told her Bonnie was inhabiting in another time. It was a nice house, and there were certain details in the decorating that brought Bonnie to mind. The reds and the paintings of orchids on the walls. It was much nicer than she had thought it would be and it told her that it was true what Stefan said. He and Damon had taken care of Bonnie.
"She used to play that piano forte there," Thomas said pointing, "We would all sit and listen to her for hours. She had this light about her, this draw. We could never explain it but…she had a way of making people feel as if they were important…loved. Almost everyone we knew gravitated toward her in some way. I never could explain it."
"She makes you feel warm," Matt nodded, "Less alone. Everything she does, she does for the people she loves. It's hard not to feel like you're important when she treats everyone better than herself."
Caroline frowned slightly as she listened to Matt's words. She had read the first two letters and the loneliness was evident in them. The state Bonnie was in when she left was much darker than Caroline realized and that was because she hadn't been paying attention. None of them had. As much as Bonnie went out of her way for the people she cared about, none of them had done the same for her.
"She got out of that by the time that she left," Thomas grinned, "She was more confident in herself by then. She said we reminded her what it was like to matter and that she would never forget it again."
Matt ran his hands over the keys of the piano forte. He had forgotten that Bonnie could play it had been so long since he had heard it. "She does matter," he said, turning to Thomas, "To us, I mean."
Thomas smiled and his face remained passive, nonjudgmental. "Then perhaps you should tell her that," he suggested, "When she returns."
Caroline smiled back at him. She could understand then, why she had liked him right off. In many ways he reminded her of Bonnie. She had a way for telling people things they needed to hear without making them feel bad about hearing them. Or at least she had before she had grown silent and withdrawn about her feelings. Feelings that had been poured out in her letters and Caroline was beginning to think that she wasn't the only one that needed to see them. She wasn't the only one that needed to know what Bonnie would need from them when she returned. "Don't worry," she said, to Thomas, "We will."
"Do you think that she would want to come back here?" Matt asked, looking around, "To this house? When she gets back?"
Thomas nodded. "It might not have been for very long but it was her home," he answered, "So I suppose so."
"Then in the meantime," Matt said, running his finger through the dust on the piano lid, "I guess we could clean this place up for her. You know, so she could see it the way she remembers when she gets back. If you guys meant that much to her…and some of you didn't leap forward in time or whatever she might miss it. If nothing else it'll give us something to do until she gets back. I mean, it's not like me and Care can help with the spell."
Thomas smiled wide, feeling for the first time that the people that Bonnie left might actually be worthy of having her in their lives. He hadn't always thought so. It was clear to him even before she had stated it that she wasn't used to being taken care of. When she came back she would be accustomed to it thanks to him and the others, all that was left was to get the people that she had left in her time accustomed to actually taking care of her. Thomas found that it might not be as hopeless as he had initially thought.
"I'm sure she'd appreciate that, Matty," he said, as he gave him a pat on the back.
Matt frowned slightly at the nickname. "I guess she did really tell you about us," he laughed shaking his head, "Is it weird that I already miss her?"
Thomas shook his head. "With someone like Bonnie," he said, "It's kind of hard not to."
:::
Mystic Falls, Virginia, 1864
The horse was the first Bonnie had ever seen up close. Her mane was a sienna color that seemed to shine brighter in the sun. She was clearly aging but Bonnie didn't mind that she looked a little worn. She reached out a hand and ran it over the horse's neck.
"Stefan," she whispered, "She's beautiful. Does she have a name?" Her words earned her a smile as Stefan came to stand beside her.
"She's called Rose," he said, "When father said he was retiring her I knew she would be perfect for you. She's even your favorite color."
Bonnie laughed a little as she nodded. "Its fate," Bonnie said, "Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen."
"Ralph Waldo Emerson," Stefan beamed, "You've been reading The Conduct of Life."
Bonnie nodded as she turned to face him, realizing belatedly as she bumped into his chest, how close they were standing. "You and the other's left me alone for two whole days," she said, clearing her throat, "I had little else to do."
Stefan reached out and gently brushed aside a strand of hair that had fallen into her face, obscuring his view of her. "We spoil you as it is," he said, "We have to disappear every once in a while to keep you on your toes."
"Well you and Damon did come back with gifts so I suppose I can forgive you," she said.
"Ah yes," Stefan nodded, "The keepsake box. I'm surprised that he managed something so sentimental. I've hardly recognized my own brother's actions since you arrived."
"I'm surprised that he didn't tell you about it," Bonnie said. She had figured that he had helped Damon pick it out. She was even more confused knowing that it was Damon's doing and Damon's alone. She mattered to him, it was a fact. She had to get used to it she supposed.
"I'm not," Stefan said, thinking about how secretive his brother was being lately, "I'm surprised that you did however." It was clear to him that Damon had meant the gift as something that should be shared between him and Bonnie, though Bonnie didn't seem to realize as much.
Bonnie frowned as she looked up at him. "But I tell you everything," she said, and she did. Everything aside from the fact that she was from another time and the details about her life and the future that she was forced due to circumstances to keep to herself.
Stefan leaned down until they were eye level. "I wonder why that is," he said.
Bonnie crossed her arms over her chest as his lips twitched upward. "I'm beginning to wonder myself," she teased.
"You look lovely in your gear," he complemented, changing the subject abruptly, "I knew that the color would suite you."
"Thank you," Bonnie smiled, "Not just for the flattery but the horse and the gear as well." It was odd being flattered by Stefan. She wondered if they could have ever grown close this way in her time had it not been for what had happened to her grandmother. It wouldn't matter in long run as there was a chance things would be exactly as she left them when she returned.
"You are most welcome," another nod, and then, "Raoul told me that he was teaching you Italian. Perhaps you could translate something for me. You're doing well with Thomas and the French but I must say I would much rather hear my native tongue on your lips than his."
"Dimmi, signore," Bonnie instructed, using one of the few phrases she had learned. She smiled running her hands down her skirt as Stefan's face broke out into a grin.
"Very well, signorina," Stefan nodded, before lowering his voice to a whisper, "Per te farei di tutto."
"I would do anything for you, too, Stefan," Bonnie said, looking down slightly. As the words left her lips a thought occurred to her that cemented itself in her head at Stefan's next words.
"I know," he said, as if he was completely assured of the fact and he was.
Bonnie frowned slightly without looking up. Had he known that in her time too? Something was nagging at her and she knew it would not soon pass. Almost from the moment he had first met her Stefan had been protective of her, though it had faded out somewhat the more involved he had become with Elena. But he had told her that he had thought things would be easier with her, and they were easy, now, with him being human. Natural. Then there was the fact that Stefan had normally been the one to ask for Bonnie's help and she had never been able to say no to him. Even Damon had been certain that she wouldn't refuse Stefan anything. Had they remembered something and kept it from her all this time?
Bonnie started as Solomon opened the back door to the house and stepped outside, the mounting block that would assist her in getting on the horse in his hands.
"Bonnie?" Stefan asked, his expression concerned, "Are you alright?"
Bonnie nodded. "I'm fine," she told him, "I just...I'm not going to take what you said for granted…that you would do anything for me. I know you mean it now but…" There were factors that would likely come into play when she returned, including whether or not his memory was intact, whether or not things would change, Elena, and the others. But she would have to cross that bridge when it came.
"I'll always mean it Bonnie," Stefan said seriously, "Sempre."
Always is a long time, she thought with a slight shake of her head. Bonnie wished silently that she could believe him.
:::
Mystic Falls, Virginia, 2011
Stefan Salvatore sat down in front of his mother's grave, his mind thinking of everything and nothing. He turned slightly as he heard the sound of footsteps and smiled as he saw Aimee walking toward him.
"I wish that I had known your mother," she said, as she sat down on the ground beside him, "Solomon always spoke so highly of her."
Stefan laughed as he remembered. "I wish I had known her as well," he whispered, "The way that Solomon talked you would have thought that she was some angel brought to earth. I used to think…I kind of still believe that he loved her."
Aimee turned away from the grave as she eyed him. "That's because he did Stefan," Aimee smiled, "Not to say he did not love his wife as well. But there are different types of love. Different kinds of relationships. I've learned that loving one person does not negate your love for another."
Stefan nodded and turned toward her completely. "We're talking about Bonnie now aren't we?"
Aimee reached out her hands carefully and framed his face. She looked at him the way she did years ago on the night he had asked her if they could be friends. "I know that you don't want to hear this," she said softly, "But you need to flip your switch."
Stefan closed his eyes. "You don't understand-"
"I know how much guilt you force yourself to carry," she interrupted, "Not as much as Raoul knows but I know just the same. " She took a deep breath and tried a different approach. "When Bonnie returns," she said, "Do you intend on telling her how you feel about her?"
Aimee knew how dangerous it was for her to push him in this state. His emotions were turned off and vampires were volatile at the best of times. But this needed to be done. She was dependent on his ties to her husband, Bonnie, and their own former friendship in terms of hoping that he would not do anything to harm her.
"I do," Stefan nodded, placing a hand over hers as he met her gaze once more.
"How do you expect to do that if you don't allow yourself to fully feel what it is you want to tell her that you feel?" Aimee pressed, "If you love her and I know that you do then you need to let yourself feel Stefan and you need to talk to your brother. Bonnie doesn't deserve to deal with whatever issues you two have with each other when she comes back anymore than she deserves to come back to just half of you."
"I told her once," Stefan said, looking down and causing Aimee's hands to fall to her sides, "That I would do anything for her. She never believed me. I realize now it's because of how I treated her before she left. How we all treated her. But I want more than anything for her to be able to believe that. For her to be able to trust that, that I would do anything for her, always. "
"Then do this," Aimee said, her voice firm.
"I want to," Stefan sighed, "But nothing feels right without her. Everything was so simple when she was there. Even things that were considered inappropriate for that time felt natural with her. Like breathing."
"Almost everything you did was considered inappropriate in that time," she smirked, "But this time is a little better. You have more freedom here in this time right now but what is the point of that if you don't let yourself take full advantage of it." Aimee searched his face and found that he was wavering. "Breathe," she said, "Think of her and let go. Remember what you promised." His brother had made his intentions known and it was time that Stefan did as well.
Stefan nodded, his face suddenly showing nothing but resolve. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, for the first time in what seemed like forever, Stefan let his emotions in.
:::
Mystic Falls, Virginia, 1864
Emmanuelle Fontaine looked in between the Salvatore brothers as she finished the last stiches in the shirt that she was mending. Bonnie was upstairs looking for a particular shade of blue thread that she would need for a quilt that she was working on for Aimee.
Emmanuelle rolled her eyes at the silence. Every once in a while the youngest or the eldest would glance upstairs in search of Bonnie but other than that they sat quietly. They didn't even seem to be comfortable talking to one another in her presence, though according to Aimee they didn't talk much to each other as of late anyway.
"You know," she conversationally, not addressing either directly, "Bonnie has expressed interest in seeing the falls. The weathers warm enough for it I suppose. Though it gets a bit chilly a night. But you must go night swimming at least once in your life."
She had been attempting to shock them as she had grown bored with silence. She was to her amusement successful. "Have you ever done so yourself?" The eldest asked, one dark brow raised with interest.
Emmanuelle nodded. "Once with Thomas," she sighed, "We were very young and very foolish. But it was the happiest I had ever been. So I suppose that ignorance is indeed bliss in my case."
The youngest frowned. "So it's true then," Stefan said, "That you and Thomas were formerly involved."
Emmanuelle shared a look with the elder before she spoke. "Bonnie said that you were the romantic of the two," she laughed, "And to answer your question we were involved. We were very much in love for a time."
"You don't love him now?" Stefan asked curiously. Damon rolled his eyes. His brother was too naïve about the ways of women to know when and when not to pry in spite of being well read.
"I will always love him," she answered honestly, "But things have their time and their season. It would not be the same now as it was before. I chose this life…plaçage over him and because of that he would never fully trust me again. It would always taint our relationship. If we ran now….it would be as if we were chasing the past. Trying to get something back that is no longer there."
A shadow passed over her face and Stefan decided to change the subject at least partially. "I read about night swimming," he said clearing his throat, "And a number of other improprieties. But that does not mean these things should be put into practice."
"Love and propriety do not mix, Mr. Salvatore," Emmanuelle said as she placed down her stitching, "In fact love is about behaving as improperly as humanly possible."
Damon grinned and shook his head. "Is that so Miss Fontaine?"
"I believe it is," a nod, "I mean if Aimee and Raoul had cared for being proper they would not be married even now. And if I had not cared so much about behaving as I should I would still be with Thomas. Likely somewhere far from here. Even the things that make up love…want….need…desire…often give way to improper thoughts and actions."
Damon chuckled as she winked. "According to my father I am full of improprieties," he said, "I know nothing of duty and I care very little about what others think of me." The last was not necessarily true but Damon pressed on anyway. "So I suppose even with my lack of knowledge of it I was practically built for love."
"It would seem so," Emmanuelle nodded. A clearing of his throat caused her to turn to Stefan. "What about you?" she asked, turning on the youngest brother, "Have you ever done anything improper in your life?"
Stefan could only think of the things that he had done against his father on Bonnie's behalf and even those actions were not without guilt. "I can't say that I have," he muttered.
Emmanuelle frowned. "Then even if you love someone you will never be able to hold onto them," she said plainly, "The only way you can love fully and completely is if you learn to take risks. If you learn to live without remorse and act without guilt. If you let the world dictate your behavior all your life then you will end up living the life the world wants you to live and being with the person the world would have you to be with. And who really wants that? What's the point of living if you don't have any control over how it is you do it? You have much more freedom than I, Mr. Salvatore, much more privilege and control. Perhaps before you die you should take advantage of it."
"'He who is not every day conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life,'" Stefan whispered, nodding to himself.
"Exactly," Emmanuelle nodded, "That's very astute."
"I cannot take credit for that revelation I'm afraid," Stefan said, "Another man said those words before I. A writer."
"Who?" Emmanuelle asked curiously. Though, she had not planned on having an actual conversation with either of the Salvatore she could now understand the reason that Bonnie seemed so taken with them both. They each had their own appeal in a way.
"Ralph Waldo Emerson," Bonnie said as she entered the room, smiling in return as Stefan smiled and nodded. She turned her attention to Emmanuelle and held up the spool of thread victoriously in her hand. "I found the thread," she smiled as she came around to sit down next to Emmanuelle. "What are you all talking about anyway?"
They all blinked at her and after a moment Stefan spoke. "How do you feel about night swimming?" he asked causally as removed his jacket, "I think I should like to try it."
As the thread fell from Bonnie's hands and Damon's eyes widened Emmanuelle stifled her laugh behind her hand.
:::
Mystic Falls, Virginia, 2011
Elena Gilbert watched as Stefan picked up a glass jar full of fireflies from his nightstand. He could feel again she could tell. There was something in the way that he looked at her that was different than when his switch was flipped off. Still he didn't look at her the same way that he had before all of this had happened. But even knowing that she could not stop herself from hoping.
"Fireflies are attracted to color," Stefan said quietly as he turned the jar in his hand, "So Bonnie planted these bright flowers in her backyard. They grew instantly, because of her magic. And at night when it got dark the fireflies would come and she would chase them for hours. Smiling, laughing, hair flying. Back then I didn't really care about her powers. I thought it was interesting of course, incredible even what she could do. But the real magic was in nights like that. The flowers, the fireflies, and Bonnie. All that beauty, that peace, and that happiness."
Stefan sat down the jar and Elena fell silent. She was quiet because even though it hurt her to hear his words she needed to know. She needed to know how it had happened. How he and Damon could manage to fall in love with someone that they hadn't so much as batted an eyelash at when she was right there in front of them this whole time.
"Within the first few hours of meeting Bonnie I saw her cry," he said, turning toward Elena, "Even without knowing her I wanted to protect her. In the days that followed it became more than that. I had…no…no one had ever met anyone like her. She was like this quiet force. She was firm, outspoken, strange, and she had convictions. But then she could be so kind, and sweet and loving. No one understood me the way that she did. I told her everything, even the things she could see without me saying them. Sometimes I would think something and it would leave her mouth a moment later. And her smile…she never smiled much here toward the end but there…in that time she was always smiling. I tried to keep a smile on her face because it stole my breath every time I saw it. I had read in books about falling in love at first sight but it doesn't really work that way. I fell in love with Bonnie in pieces. The same way that she showed herself to me, bits and pieces at a time. When I was able to see the full picture I loved her all the more for trusting me enough to show it to me. She was the first woman I ever loved…I just didn't remember."
Elena reached up and wiped the tears that had fallen as he spoke. Her emotions were all over the place. She had been ready to fight for Stefan. She could handle Katherine. She could handle Rebekah. But this…this was different. He had not felt for either woman what he had felt for Elena and so there was not really much of a real fight. The problem was that he had never felt what he felt for Bonnie for anyone and she could not fight against that no matter how hard that she tried.
"I'm not saying these things to hurt you," he said, finally looking Elena in the eyes, "I just need for you to understand. Before Bonnie left I took a risk. I was able to let go of my shame and guilt and tell her exactly how I felt and it was perfect. So I would apologize to you but I can't. I can't feel guilty about doing the right thing. And even though you may not think so this is the right thing. I let go of you at the beginning of the summer to protect you and now I am letting go of you because I'm in love with someone else. You should let me go to because even if Bonnie comes back and it's not me that she chooses you won't be what I choose."
"Do I get a say in this?" Elena asked.
Stefan shook his head. "No," he said, "You can hold on if you want but it would be better for you if you didn't. There's nothing left here to hold onto. Maybe we could be friends but we could never be together again. Not like before."
Elena nodded stiffly. She wanted to scream or perhaps cry but she didn't. Perhaps things would change once Bonnie came back. Even if Bonnie could love the Salvatore brothers as humans, Elena doubted that she could love them as vampires. "Whatever happens," she said out loud, "I hope you can be happy Stefan."
"I hope that you can be happy too," he said.
Elena turned to leave and as she opened the door to Stefan's room she ran into Damon. He looked down at her in surprise a moment and then smiled. "Good you're here," he said, "I actually need to talk to you."
"Let me guess," Elena sighed, "You're in love with Bonnie so you can't chase after me anymore but we can still be friends."
Damon blinked. "Actually yes," he grinned.
"Fine," Elena said stiffly, "Excuse me." She walked around him and left to let herself out of the boardinghouse.
Damon's eyes followed her and then he turned back to Stefan. "That was easier than I thought it would be," he said.
"I did the hard part first," Stefan shrugged.
Damon glanced over to the jar of the fireflies on Stefan's nightstand and frowned. When he looked at his brother again his eyes narrowed. "You turned your emotions back on," he said.
A nod and then, "Bonnie doesn't deserve to come back to half of me."
"We need to talk," Damon said, his tone surprisingly serious.
Stefan walked around and sat down on the edge of his bed. "I know," he agreed, "But first we need figure out what to do about Klaus."
:::
Mystic Falls, Virginia, 1864
It was late and breezy and the water was a little colder than Bonnie had hoped but she felt exhilarated. There was not much to do entertainment wise here and so swimming was probably the most fun that she would have in a while. The falls were beautiful as well, much easier to see in this time. Still she knew that they had to be careful. If they were caught there would be consequences she was sure.
She watched as the fireflies circled the water's surface. "You know when we were younger," Stefan told her, "We used to think that fireflies were magic. We never thought about things likes witches."
"I never did before I found out what I was either," she said, "My grams used to talk about it but I thought it was all a joke." She reached out and caught one of the bugs in her hands and let it go just as quickly.
"I still don't understand how you could make fire out of water," Damon said as he waded toward her, "One would think they would cancel each other out somehow."
"I'm telling you I can do it," she said, holding up her hand, "Stay where you are. I'll show you." Bonnie jumped slightly as Stefan appeared behind her. While she was still wearing her slip and they still had on their pants it was awkward being in any state of undress in front of them and Bonnie was relieved that the water blocked most of the view.
She concentrated her powers and a line of flames appeared on the surface of the water before she put them out again almost immediately.
"I'm impressed," Stefan commented.
Damon nodded, looking slightly frightened. "Remind me never to make you angry, little witch," he frowned, "Your powers are tied to your emotions are they not?"
"They are," Bonnie laughed thinking of the number of times he had made her angry in the future and that she had indeed set him on fire.
"Enough of that," Stefan laughed, "Let's play the game Bonnie taught us again."
Bonnie nodded and smiled. She had not played Marco Polo since the summer that she and Matt were lifeguards but both Stefan and Damon seemed to get a kick out of the game much to her amusement.
"I'll be the finder," Damon said, "It took Stefan too long last time."
"Fine," Bonnie conceded, "But you can't peek this time. If I see your eyes open then I'm going to trap you in a ring of fire." She laughed as his face blanched and he nodded sagely.
As Damon closed his eyes Bonnie began to wade away from him and she watched as Stefan disappeared under the water.
When Damon called out she answered him once she was far enough away. She looked down and tried in vain to see where Stefan had disappeared to as the night made the water too dark. Frowning she answered when Damon called out again.
Damon began to wade toward the sound of her voice when Stefan suddenly popped out of the water behind her. Bonnie turned to chastise him for scaring her but stopped as Stefan placed a finger over her mouth and shook his head. He motioned toward Damon and she nodded though he was already heading toward them anyway.
As Stefan looked down at Bonnie's face illuminated by the light of the moon he realized that this was about as improper as any situation could get. He was out later than he should be, half dressed, unchaperoned and with a woman that was contracted on paper at least to his brother. He thought about Emmanuelle's words and made a snap decision.
Bonnie blinked up at Stefan curiously as he leaned down toward her. She thought that perhaps he was going to whisper something to her but was surprised when his lips met hers instead. Perhaps it was shock or the fact she had not been kissed by anyone in a while but Bonnie remained frozen. His lips were soft and warm and as he pulled away Bonnie looked away in embarrassment.
Bonnie glanced at Damon and was relieved to find that his eyes were still closed. She turned back to Stefan who was opening his mouth to say something but Bonnie found that she didn't want to hear it. She should have listened to Raoul. She wanted to leave before things got any worse.
Bonnie dunked her head under the water and came up closer to Damon so that he would find her that much sooner. She was rewarded as he grabbed her wrist. She expected him to guess that it was her right off. But instead his hands moved up to her shoulders, her neck, and then her hair and she realized that he was using the game as an excuse to touch her.
"Bonnie," he whispered as his eyes opened though his hands stayed in place.
"You found me," Bonnie murmured forcing a smile as she pulled away from him. She was about to make the excuse of being cold so that they could leave and began mapping out the ways in which she could avoid them in her head when she heard footsteps coming from the shore. Voices soon followed.
Bonnie began to panic as she was guided behind a large stone, Stefan and Damon on either side of her. She held her breath and listened as the voices and the footsteps faded. Whoever it had been had simply walked by and went on their way. Bonnie let out a shaky sigh of relief.
"Did any of you see who they were?" Damon asked, "Do you think they saw us?"
"I don't think so," Stefan said, placing his hands hesitantly on Bonnie's shoulders, "Are you alright Bonnie?"
Bonnie remained silent. This had all been a mistake. "We should go," she whispered after a moment. But really she was thinking that they never should have come in the first place.
:::
Mystic Falls, Virginia, 2011
Caroline Forbes frowned as she sat across from Bonnie's mother. She could see the resemblance in appearance but not in mannerism. The woman was hard on the outside. She looked unemotional and untrusting. Whereas Bonnie was warm and approachable and smiled easily. Or at least she had. Caroline realized that Bonnie had taken on her mother's countenance before she left. She had been stiff and a lot of the times her face was either impassive or held a far off expression. When she had smiled it had seemed forced and she hadn't even spoke as much as she used to.
Caroline clutched the letters she gripped in her hands as she shook away her thoughts, she was here to help fix things and not to dwell in the past.
She and Matt had started fixing up Bonnie's house and had briefed Thomas more on the originals. After they had decided to call it a night Caroline had begun to read her letters. She had found quite a few that had mentioned Abby Bennett. Pages and pages of Bonnie wondering if it had been easy for her mother to leave. Wondering what made Elena's safety and wellbeing more worthy than Bonnie's own even in her mother's eyes, wondering what the state of their relationship would be once Bonnie returned.
"You must be questioning why I'm here," Caroline said after a moment. The woman blinked at her and she sighed.
"The thought had crossed my mind," Abby muttered, "I've told you all I know about Bonnie. You'll have to wait like everyone else for her to come back. If you need some kind of magical favor I am not the one to ask. My powers aren't what they used to be and even if they were I and the others are working on a spell for Bonnie's benefit so we have our hands full."
"I don't want anything from you," Caroline sighed, "I'm here because I found out that while Bonnie was in the eighteen hundreds she wrote me letters. I was one of the few people that she was sure would still be here for her when she got back."
Abby swallowed. She was hurt that Bonnie had not written to her though she knew she had no right to be. "So you thought I might want to see them so that I would know that she was really alright?"
Caroline shook her head. "Yes and no," she said. She held out the letters in her hand. "The thing is Bonnie wrote about you," she revealed, "About your relationship. She wanted to know you. She wanted to know more about why you left her. She wanted to know if you cared enough to stay. It's all there in those pages. The rest I'm keeping for me but I thought you should have the ones about you at least."
Abby took letters and nodded. "Thank you," she said. It would give her something to go on at least. She would know Bonnie's feelings and be able to act accordingly when Bonnie returned.
Caroline moved to leave but stopped. "You are going to stay this time aren't you," she pressed, "You won't leave her again."
"I'm not going anywhere," Abby said firmly. She had spent enough time running away from her family, her history, her daughter, and her responsibilities.
"Good," Caroline said, and then she was gone.