"SEASON ONE BEGINS! When E.L.F. gets hired to save a demonized survivor, things sure do happen."

Once upon a time, there was an innocent lovely blonde teacher named Mrs. Mayberry.

She taught at a red schoolhouse with a little golden bell at the top of it. "Learning is fun," was written in bright yellow letters on the side of the building with art of colorful kites and a rainbow on it. A sign at the front read "Puppies Junior School" in sunlight. There were tall green trees and a playground off to the side. The golden bell rang for the start of the day. A blue jay and a cardinal sang from a tree branch as the teacher opened the white curtains.

The Vivziepop lookalike woman wrote "Good morning!" in white chalk on the green blackboard.

"Good morning!" She twirled in a dance, catching her piece of chalk. She wore a white shirt with colorful red cherries and a long blue-gray skirt. A green pendant rested on her shirt. She wore cherry earrings and round yellow glasses. Her blonde hair was tied back in a flower-like shape behind her. "Have a bright and sunny day" was written on a poster with a large smiling sun with big eyes on it. Nearby was a calendar and an old boxy computer on a desk. A white daisy was in a flower pot. "The word of the day is harmony," was written on a schedule posted on a board behind the children sitting at desks. The orange curtains by the windows had white math symbols on it. The schedule read "math, history, reading, grammar, science, art and music" as the many school subjects for the days of the week.

"I hope you all did your homework!" she trilled.

The children nodded with a dance to their bodies. One boy wearing an orange shirt spun around in a stool wearing a dunce cap and he faced the wall. The class broke out randomly into song.

"We love to do our homework and we love our teacher too!"

The teacher sang, "And when I throw out these fun questions, you should know just what to do."

"Okay!" they cheered, arms in the air.

She wrote on the board 2 + 6 = 8 and added,

"Two plus six is…"

"Eight!" the class answered.

"And good behavior's…"

"Great!" they chimed in.

"And now it's that part of the class when we say the time of day and date."

"It's nine in the morning," sang a blonde boy…

"On January 8th…" added a black girl.

"The sun is out smiling," said a brown haired girl with a bow.

"And it's your husband's birthday!" reminded the dunce boy with his tongue out.

As the class sang "la la la," the teacher found herself scrapping her chalk down in a line on the board. Sweat coated her forehead as the chalk was almost completely broken down. The singing was a constant drone in her head. Her right eye twitched and she turned around.

"Oh my stars, stop singing children! Hush up now!"

The class fell silent.

She put a hand to her forehead. "I forgot it's my husband's birthday! I didn't get him anything special."

The brown haired girl stood up and said, "Maybe if we call him, we could do a happy birthday surprise!"

The teacher and kids gathered around the boxy computer. At the husband's house, a lone sock fell on the call screen that read "wifey" on it.

The screen turned on, and everyone gasped in disbelief.

The teacher's husband was in the process of having sex with another lady!

A tie, a bra and a condom flew against the screen as they straddled naked in their bed.

"We won't be needing this," a voice said as the condom hit the screen with Mrs. Mayberry's face on the other side.

The teacher sat at her desk, looking stunned, her face turning red. The other woman was so young and beautiful. There was her husband, clad naked and showing off his muscles and parts to her.

"Oh yeah," the husband giggled, "Not there, not there." They seemed to be also playing with sex toys.

With a blank shadowed look on her face, the teacher suddenly stood up and walked away. If she wasn't going to be able to divorce that cheating bastard…

"Wait! Mrs. Mayberry!" called the brown haired girl. She took hold of the teacher's hand. "Remember what you taught us…think before you act."

There was a long pause, the class nervous about what she would do next.

…

Instead of doing an action she would soon regret, Mrs. Mayberry took a deep breath and pat the girl on the head.

"You're right," she said. "It's time to settle this, reasonably."

She got into her green car with "I love school" on the license plate and headed home on the road. The kids looked out the window and then at the computer.

"Oh sweetie," said James to Mrs. Mayberry as she came home. "What are you doing here?"

"Shut up! I could ask her the same thing," Mrs. Mayberry retorted with a glare at the blonde lady underneath him.

"Well, I met her at a gun show and decided to take her home for some fun…"

"No."

"What? It's just for a day."

Mrs. Mayberry crossed her arms. "We were going to have a family. And you then decide to hook up with her behind my back? What were you thinking?!"

"Well…she is pretty hot…"

Mrs. Mayberry's face turned red and she growled. Her fists clenched and her eyes narrowed to a nearby gun hanging ominously on the wall…

Mrs. Mayberry closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"You're…you're not gonna kill us, are you?" her husband asked with fear in his words.

"No," Mrs. Mayberry declared. "But I will file for divorce. Now if you two love each other so much…get the dying buck out of my house!"

The couple obliged, leaving the school teacher sitting on her bed, head buried in her hands.

The children watched her sadly on the other side of the screen.

"Oh? I'm so sorry, children," she said as she saw them. "Don't forget to work on your timestamps. I'll be back soon."

The children nodded and went back to their desks.

0 0 0

Mrs. Mayberry narrated as she paced the E.L.F. office floor:

"I was a good person before it all went down. I was decent my entire life. You try your best at everything, learn from all your trials…and by some stroke of luck, you end up in Heaven with all the Martin Luther Kings and Teresas of the world. After almost being sent to Hell for one bad mistake. So I am here now…to make further amends."

Mrs. Mayberry stepped into the light from the window. She was now an angel, with white hair in a similar flowery shape she had in life. White wings were folded behind her and a white halo hovered above her head. She wore her usual square thin glasses and her light purple dress was decorated with cherries. In the center were her pendant used to be on her chest was a small golden eye. Her feline-like eyes were a brilliant emerald green that sometimes appeared golden in the sunlight. Additionally, she had a small furry cat tail and white cat ears with cherry earrings on them. In Heaven, she was a popular preschool teacher and flying instructor to the little angel children.

The head elf of E.L.F., Docile, listened intently from his office chair.

"Interesting. So your husband Jarold had sex with Martha…"

"James and Mary," Mrs. Mayberry corrected.

"Sorry," Docile said. "Both of them survived. How are they now?"

Mrs. Mayberry sighed. "My husband eventually got tired of Mary and started nasty rumors about her being a whore. Mary felt bad about what she did and offered to make it up for me. But by then, I had decided to adopt a few kids to call my own. I worked at school and made sure my kids got a great education, of course. Their names are June and Cherry, by the way."

"Lovely names!" Docile beamed.

"Thank you. But…last time I checked before my death, James had died. I died of Covid several years after my kids became teens."

"Sorry to hear. But why come to us?" Docile asked, standing up. "E.L.F. aims to save those who are still alive, and from the looks of things, the people you knew in your life appear to either be in Heaven or Hell."

"Not all of them," Mayberry explained. "Mary is still alive. Now they all call her a villain."

0 0 0

"How does it feel to be such a crazy bitch?" one woman reporter mocked the blonde Mary.

"I just hope my friend Mayberry has it better than you," she spat.

"You are a coward. I'll steal your money!"

"No thank you!" Mary glared as she and her husband Ralph shoved the reporters aside.

Mayberry explained, "Between the insults and remarks, my poor friend got into so much debt and depression. Being spared was the worst thing to happen to her!"

"You're a villain!" mocked a reporter.

"You're a villain, girl!" said an angry jogger, bumping into her on purpose.

"Ooooh, a big bad villain you are!" smirked her husband when they were in bed, the only time she liked being called that.

"My mama's a villain to villains!" her son declared, wearing a baseball cap.

"She is a villain!" remarked the smiling brown-haired cashier lady, Brook with an otherworldly look in her eyes.

"You're a villain!" cried a pagan hippie, scooting away from Mary against doors with pentagrams on it.

"You're a villain?!" exclaimed the children as they stared in confusion as Mary taught a "How to Deal With Heartbreak 101" class.

Mary cried as she came down with a deathly illness as her family watched. "Maybe I am a villain whore," she thought, silently praying to God. "I've made mistakes…I just want to do more good in this world. Please, help me…"

"She's not a villain!" yelled Mrs. Mayberry in frustration, getting into Docile's face.

"Oh yes, yes, my thoughts exactly," Docile said with a nervous look. He repeatedly pushed a button under his desk.

The red light lit up over a label that read "Distressed Client." The other labels read "More Tea," "Client Giving Birth," "Fell Asleep," "Entranced Client," "Ghost," and "Samael."

In another room, a black-haired elf Tirred was busy giving CPR to a family of mannequins lying down on the floor. Tirred hesitated when he came up to the woman mannequin wearing a Satanic necklace.

"Tirred, stop shaking," his girlfriend Timmid said. "You're gonna accidentally press against our only Heaven Cat!"

Sunna the cat lay down nearby, wearing her usual white sun dress and goofy grin.

"Please be gentle," she said, staring at the ceiling. Tirred scoffed at Sunna and yawned in her face.

"Just take a deep breath," Timmid said, talking more to herself as she inhaled, "…and let it out."

"But…it's a family," Tirred grumbled. "Under what circumstances would we ever need to bless a human family for no reason?"

"I mean, if that's what the client wants," Timmid began, as Tirred stood up.

"Maybe like a heroic mom, or a family of veterans and charity workers." He spoke through his teeth. "That's understandable." Then he talked normally. "But to grant miracles to an entire immoral…seemingly immoral, lower working class family bloodline?"

"Hey!" Sunna pipped up, standing up. "You don't know they're immoral." She pointed down to the boy mannequin. "This kid probably saves dogs from fire." She pointed to the girl. "Maybe this girl feels a purpose to stand up for kids in other countries." She pointed to the father. "And this guy…"

Sunna closed her eyes. "The guy definitely worships."

"Exactly," Timmid said. "Humanity can be full of goodness, it's why a select few are able to come up here. But innocent and guilty aren't our business, Tir." She cupped her boyfriend's cheeks. "Saving who we're paid to is our business. Choose a victim."

She kissed Tirred and he knelt down again.

"I just think it's a bit excessive and we could be a bit more selective, is all," Tirred said.

Just then, Docile entered the room, followed by angel Mrs. Mayberry.

"Guys! I want you to meet…"

Tirred accidentally slammed his mannequin hard with both fists and it shot up into the air, hitting the ceiling. It bounced onto the other mannequins, frightened Sunna, slammed against an altar, and the head rolled toward Mrs. Mayberry before Docile stopped it with one foot.

"…our newest client!"

The flaming bowl on the altar crashed to the floor as fire spread through the room. The water sprinklers overhead came on, flooding the room.

"Darn it, Tirred, I just cleansed that altar!" Docile yelled.

Eventually, they dried up the room and waited outside. Other elves came into help, replacing water-worn furniture and carpets. Mrs. Mayberry got into a yellow taxi cab that took off into the air on white wings.

"Bye!" called Docile, "and don't worry, we'll save your friend in less than 24 hours or your first blessing is free!" He waved as Mrs. Mayberry left.

"When did we start implementing that deal?" Tirred asked, frowning.

"When you set a flood to my office in front of a client you glooming lunatic!" Docile yelled in anger, "Now someone please tell me that fancy book is still intact!"

"You mean our only ticket to the living world?" Sunna asked, pulling out a black leather-bound Bible from behind her. "Yeah, got it."

"And that's why you're my favorite, Sunny!" Docile said, baby-talking her. "You get some milk now."

He pulled out a glass of milk and held it in front of her. He then tilted back his head and poured the milk into his mouth in a smooth arc.

"Stop it," Sunna said, annoyed that he had stolen her milk and teased her. Then she got an idea and gasped. "It's spoiled!"

Docile's eyes went wide and he coughed up splatters of milk onto the ground.

"Ergh, so gross," Docile grumbled as he wiped off milk stains from his outfit and coughed again.

"You sound like you're coughing up a hairball! So gross," Sunna smirked.

"Oh stop that, I get enough of that from my therapist."

Sunna giggled as she left.

Timmid held a Bible in her hands and quietly chanted a psalm, while drawing a symbol with chalk. A glowing blue Christian Cross surrounded by a circle appeared on a wall, opening up a portal to the living world.

Nearby, an advertisement read in misspellings: "Knead someone to save in da living worlds?! Com to ELF?! Be sure to position dis sign up rite. Payment arrives via mail snail in one weak, so bee patient. - Speech to text, Docile."

Docile turned to his employees. "Now let's go bless the mess!"

"The expression is, 'bless the best', Docile," Timmid said with a smile, as she walked through the portal.

"Mine's better," Docile mentioned, following her.

"Oh, flames under copper kettles," Tirred swore with a sigh as he followed the two through the portal.

Part Two: The Elves' Adventure

The three elves stood in front of a shabby house by a lake and forest. Tirred and Docile leaned against the side of the house, coming up from the bushes.

Docile looked through the window. "That's gotta be her," he whispered. "Tirred, you want this one?"

"Me?" he asked, surprised.

"Yeah, this one's simple enough for you to handle."

Tirred peered through the window. Mary was sick in her bed, cursing up a storm and gagging. Her family stood by her bedside, the older daughter taking a puff of a cigarette.

"It's just a sick mother who doesn't have anything left to live for."

Tirred hesitated. Why would there be any reason to bless this family? The woman cursed, cheated on her husband and was probably a Satanist.

"Snooze you lose, Tir," Docile said. He pointed a golden angelic staff at the window. "And here we go…"

"Wait, are we actually saving a family?!" Tirred asked, teeth bared.

"No, don't be foolish, we're just curing a mother. We're extending a family."

He aimed the staff at her, the golden tip on the staff starting to glow teal.

"But…" Tirred began. "Hold on, hold on, let's just think about it…"

He lifted up Docile's staff and the beam fired. It hit a nearby cracked mirror in the house and it repaired itself. Everyone in the room gasped.

"What was that, Ralph?" Mary asked.

"I don't know Mary," Ralph replied, shaking his head. He was built like a muscular man with brown hair. "But whatever it is…"

Grinning, he stood up and held a large net. "They're gonna be the keys to our future!"

Mary smiled and took a big gulp of water. "Alright kids! Nets out!"

The boy and girl took out nets and held their silver cross necklaces.

"Looks like we've got some genies to catch here, youngins!" Ralph said with a chuckle as the kids cheered.

"What in Heaven's name was that, Tirred?" asked a fuming Docile.

Tirred took a deep breath and replied carelessly. "I'm sorry. They just seemed so flawed and pathetic. I reacted."

Docile face-palmed and poked Tirred in the chest several times. "Everyone is flawed and pathetic but who isn't innocent in the beginning? At the start, you were just an innocent baby with no knowledge of hate or evil! Now get over yourself you grouchy blue downer!"

The kids jumped out of the open window, reflecting sunlight.

"A new light!" cried Docile. "Scatter!"

Docile and Timmid ran off as Ralph carried his wife through a door after them. Tirred looked around, only for a child's hand to playfully pull at his ears. He yelped and tried to shoo the kids away before they dragged the short elf man back into the house.

"Where are you going, little critter?" called Ralph, as he chased after Timmid. "You can't hide long from me." Timmid hid under the dock, before bursting onto the surface. She shot a blue blast with her staff, but Ralph dodged it. Timmid tried to cast a sleeping spell on him with her staff, and jumped into the air.

With a well-aimed swipe, Ralph caught Timmid in the giant strong net. Timmid struggled to get free as Ralph smiled kindly down at her.

0 0 0

Meanwhile, Tirred was dragged into the house and was seated in a comfortable chair. The two kids, a boy with brown hair and a girl with light brown pigtails stared at him with puppy-dog eyes.

"Uh, well hello there little brats," Tirred grumbled. "Aren't you annoying?"

"It's nice to have a critter to grant our wishes," they said at the same time.

Tirred looked around and saw Christian Crosses hanging from the walls. Golden picture frames held awards that the family had won over the years. Beautiful white candles lined the room along with sculptures of cherub babies and unicorns. A bouquet of colorful flowers lay on the table in front of Tirred.

The two children pushed a long scroll of paper toward him.

"Oh sprites," he scoffed.

0 0 0

Meanwhile, Docile was racing through the woods, Ralph chasing after him after capturing Timmid. Docile hid behind a tree in fear.

"I know you're confused, little angel," Ralph called out. "I promise, I can make things good for both of us. Just come let daddy Ralph help you ascend to even greater heights! Ah…sh*it… it's not what it may sound like, I assure you, so please let me take you back!"

Docile's phone rang with a loud angelic choir and he struggled a bit before finally catching it. His phone had a smiling halo emoji that read GBY (Go Bless Yourself).

"This is a really bad time," Docile muttered, the phone against his ear.

At Samael's palace in Heaven, the shirtless, well-muscled angel was sitting in a lotus position, eyes closed in a steamy dark room with hot coals underneath him.

"When isn't it a bad time, Docy?" he mused.

"What is it?" Docile asked in frustration. Samael held a rotary phone to his ear, the speakers shaped like skulls.

"I've been meaning to follow up on our last conversation regarding my Bible?"

Docile's angry face appeared in smoke. "What did you just call me?" Samael blew it away.

"My book, Docy. The book I was given to do my job that I have allowed you to use to do yours?"

"I can hear, ya, cherub!" Ralph called.

"Sugar honey iced tea," Docile muttered, scurrying off.

"Anywho," Samael continued, "You know, I have been permitting you to access the mortal realm less than legally for quite some time now, but I do need it back to fulfil my duties. I was thinking, what if we worked out some sort of exchange?"

He added, "Favors for favors?" as he slowly scrapped his claws along the floor. "Doesn't that sound…foreboding?"

Docile ducked behind another tree. "You've got to stop with that fancy rich people talk. I'm trying to concentrate on not getting my corp twisted up!"

The net almost got his head from above him.

"Then let me keep it simple," Samael said. "Once a month, on the new moon, you return the book to me, followed by a night of…"

He grinned evilly, stretching his legs and sinking into the lava, "Grueling repentance." He leaned out over the hole. "And… you get to keep it the rest of the time. Sound fair my little elf?"

"Fine, whatever!" Docile replied.

"Oh, Docy! I'm so excited! I cannot wait to put you up on a torture rack and pinch your filthy blue **** with a blade of ****…"

Docile was soon pinned to the tree by Ralph. "Gotcha!" Docile's phone dropped and Samael was still talking.

Ralph grinned. "So, you're a little angel, huh? Come to say hello without staying?"

Mary slowly came forward from behind her husband and added, "Well not today, Jesus! Y'all will grant our desires and then we'll send ya back to where ya came from! B-but don't worry, we ain't gonna kill ya, you'll just travel back through the sky."

0 0 0

Back at the house, Tirred was mindlessly scanning a list of requests that the kids had placed in front of him. The lists read misspelled things like: "Pwease save our mother!" "Give me a brand new pony." "I want the humans of dis world to not be mindless apes and start care-ring for each other." "All Earth-ings deserve a second chance unless you're Hitler or Trump." "End pe-dough-pile and insect familial shipping." The last request was most unusual: "Give us the next Has-Been cartoon episode along with a four inch wide, five inch deep bowl of jazz-berries, strawberry sugar on top."

Just then, Tirred saw figures in white head to the lake.

"Timmid," Tirred sighed. Strengthening his resolve, he put on his fiercest face, stood up with claws out and said in a deep voice to the children…

"A friend in need is a friend indeed."

He didn't even know why he said that, but it was enough to confuse the children long enough for him to dash through a window and race toward the lake.

0 0 0

Ralph and Mary were singing heavenly melodies in hooded white robes as Timmid and Docile were tied to their own staffs. Candles were lit and an altar with a bowl of holy water stood nearby.

"Sugar honey iced tea, I had that shot, gosh darn it, Tirred," Docile scoffed. Both struggled to get free.

"Jesus!" Mary said with the last of her strength. "We compel your divine creatures to grant us our many well-thought out wishes! May the root of holiness remained honored as we continue thy work!"

Ralph clapped his hands in excitement.

With coughs, Mary picked up the bowl of holy water with shaking hands. She then walked over to the elves and poured the water over their heads.

Mary and Ralph smiled expectantly for a moment.

"Yeah, that's not exactly how it works, ma'am," Docile said. "You see holy water doesn't really work on us but we could pretend to be if you let us go."

"Huh? Oh poop." Then she got an idea. "Then I'll just bless you guys instead! You want to meet Jesus in person, don't you?"

"I've always wanted to meet him in person," Docile said. "I heard he's kind of a cool hippie."

"Docile!" Timmid scolded.

Mary laughed for a few seconds until she clutched at her chest. The illness had finally gotten to her and she collapsed to the ground. Ralph screamed at the sight of his dying wife. The light faded from her eyes at last.

"Tirred!" Timmid called out. Tirred ran over and freed his companions.

"You're not getting your paycheck for this one, Tir," Docile remarked as he fell down, his staff falling and bonking him on the head. "Ow!"

Timmid and Tirred embraced as the human family sobbed, Ralph cradling his deceased wife in his arms.

"I'm okay," Docile moaned. Tirred helped him up. "I'm sorry, sir. I compromised our objective and put us in harm's way. It won't happen again. I promise."

"Apology accepted this time," Docile said, hugging him. Then he muttered, "But if you ever pull off a stunt like this again, I'll overwork you and your girlfriend…alright!" he added quickly standing up. "Job well done! Now let's get off."

"Wait a second," Tirred called. "I need to settle things with them."

"Say this to them before we leave, or you're fired." Docile whispered a command into his ear.

"Now, hurry up," Docile added, before saying into his phone, "Sunna, we're ready to come home, dear!"

Tirred could briefly hear Docile and Samael talking. Samael was saying something like, "You and I are on ****** angel's eyeballs and hot gold all night."

Tirred stared at Ralph and his stunned kids.

"What are you gonna do, little guy?" Ralph asked. "Mock us?"

"I should," Tirred said, aiming his staff at them before lowering it. "You people are…interesting. I'm very sorry about your loss. But, you deserve a word of warning. Look at your children. They have their whole future ahead of them. Do not be swayed down the path of greed and unfaithfulness. Remember, there's still an 85% chance that you'll go to Hell. I hope you won't feel so compelled to pursue any more selfish desires."

Then Tirred reluctantly said, as Docile ordered him to: "I hereby declare that you will be reunited with your wife in Heaven if you redeem yourselves."

Tirred gave them one last glare and left, meeting the other elves back at the portal in the dark woods.

"There you are," Docile said. "Have a good spiritual reflection session, Tirred?"

"What?"

"Look, I don't care where you pray in the living world, just pray you'll come to work on time, alright? See you at the office!" He raced through the portal.

"Feeling better now, honey?" Timmid asked.

"Yeah, I just needed a little time to process," Tirred said.

"You have a good heart, sweetie," Timmid said. "Just a grumpy head." She playfully pinched her boyfriend's cheek and kissed him. A dopy expression came on Tirred's usually grumpy face. Docile pulled him back through the portal.

0 0 0

Back at the office, two of the elves, Sunna and Mrs. Mayberry had cake. "We tried," was written in blue frosting on the white angel's food cake. (Devil's food cake was forbidden). A new angel Mary arrived and hugged Mrs. Mayberry, the two friends reunited at last.

"Thank you for reuniting me with my best friend," said Mrs. Mayberry.

"I'm sorry we couldn't save you in time," said Docile, downcast.

"It's alright," said Mary. "Death is part of life. You guys did your part in comforting my family and helping us learn our lessons. I think I'll like it here."

Everyone laughed except for a fuming Tirred who sat in the middle. A banner overhead read: "Loved the dame." Tirred was angry that they had comforted a woman who appeared quite flawed in the eyes of many in Heaven.

Tirred wasn't sure if he agreed to the "senseless blessings" morals of E.L.F. anymore.

Timmid hugged Tirred around his neck and smiled. "Did you see that? He did it! Oh Tirred!"

"Well here's to another mission accomplished," Docile announced. "And Tirred here finally learned to fess up."

"And blessing people with what they don't want, but rather with what they need is no big deal if they are too involved with what they want for themselves," Timmid added.

"That's harsh and confusing, but I paid for it!" Mayberry added as everyone except Tirred laughed again.

"Yeah, bless that family!" Docile declared.

0 0 0

Several weeks later, Tirred was longing around in his office, listening to some rock music. He wondered what kind of craziness he'd have to deal with today.

Just then, there was a knock at the door. "Hey Tirred, it's me, Docile. Got some news for ya."

"Come in," he grumbled.

The door opened and Docile peered in. Tirred walked over. "Can I help you, sir?" he asked, eye brow raised.

"You're not gonna believe who I just met!"

Docile smiled with a giddy look and stepped to the side. Reaching to his legs stood two kids; a boy and a girl with white wings and halos.

"Two new kids, so what?" Tirred asked.

"Not just any kids," Docile mentioned. "These two are Mary's kids. You comforted her and blessed her family, remember?"

"Wait, what?!" Tirred asked, louder, eyes wide.

"By blessing her life, you also helped her family stay on the righteous path! And now they all died!"

"Hold up, hold up, sir! Why are they dead and in Heaven, then? I thought they died of the Covid virus right away."

"Well…they did, actually."

"You and your inconsistency! Why are you so happy to have them here, then?!"

The two winged children began chasing each other around the room.

"Hey, do you two mind getting out of my office?! It's not a playground," Tirred demanded.

"Because they lived great lives and didn't get sent to Hell!" Docile replied. "It means we've succeeded in our job!"

"Are you kidding me? They had their whole lives ahead of them!"

"Death ain't picky, Tirred," Docile finished.

The two kids flew over and hopped into Tirred's lap. One of them pinched his cheeks and the other made funny faces at him. Mary and Ralph smiled in the background behind Docile.

Tirred let out a grumpy groan. "Who knew Heaven would be Hell on Earth?" he muttered as one of the kids blew a raspberry at him. Docile chuckled at the heart-warming sight.